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Your Shadow Child

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“To connect to our child within us and draw upon its creative power, we need to connect with it on its level without judgment, to learn to speak its language.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on mindfulness of your inner child, and ways to connect to its power in ways that can add to your quality of life and wellbeing.

For those in Singapore, a reminder of the Meditations for developing the language of your shadow self workshop this coming Saturday, 2-5.30pm.

In the spirit of bright shadows,

Toby


The Shadow Child

The shadow is 
The ‘shadow self’ is that part of our mind and self that we have rejected and pushed so deeply into our unconscious awareness such that often we are not even consciously aware that it exists. However, from its position within the unconscious mind our shadow self remains active, influencing our behaviour and causing us to behave in ways which seem to be difficult for us to understand. The shadow has both a ‘dark’ side and a ‘bright’ or golden side.

The child self is
That part of us that is child-like in nature. You could say it has three aspects:

  • That part of us that is simply child like in nature; playful, naive, creative, innocent, gullible, needs looking after and so on
  • The historical child, that is the child within us whose character has been shaped and informed by our own literal historical upbringing; experience with parents, peers and other significant others, what happened to us in school, how we were treated and learned to gain approval and so on. The child within us now that is a product of our personal historical experience, and our response to that
  • The spiritual child within us – that part of us that is ever young, ever new, ever creative, ever both innocent and wise, whose light helps us begin again each time we burn out.

The shadow child is
Any part of our child like nature, historical child or spiritual child that we have repressed and rejected, that we are afraid of, that we have neglected, which remains unhealed and damaged, which we have turned away from.

Why you need to connect and make friends with your shadow child
Because if you do not do so parts of your damaged, fearful and disowned child will continue to sap your energy, sabotage your happiness and make joy, love and wellbeing difficult goals for you.
Because if you do not the radiant, optimistic, strong joyful and creative child that lives within you will remain un-expressed, un-enjoyed and undiscovered.

A personal example
Earlier this week I went on holiday to the beach. On the first night I woke up in the early morning in my beach hut. For some reason I started thinking about things like insurance, what could go wrong in my life and was overwhelmed by a feeling of stress and anxiety. I asked to my mind “Why are you feeling so anxious all of a sudden?” A small, scared, high voice replied “Because the world is such a large and scary place”. That voice was an example of one of the ways in which my shadow child exists and speaks within my psyche. I relaxed, opened to the feelings of my child self, accepted them with care and allowed them to wash over and through me. After a while they subsided and I went back to sleep feeling fine.
From this short example you can see that one of the reasons we often reject our child self is because the voice that it speaks in is so child-like. We often dismiss it as nonsense and bury the feelings that are attached to the voice and the inner child that it came from. As a result the fear remains within us, and continues to affect us even thought we have dismissed it from our conscious mind.
To connect to our child self we need to connect with it on its level without judgment, to learn to speak its language.

Article and pictures © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   


All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia 

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, March 30th, April 27th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 30th March, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday 30th March 2-5.30pm – Meditations for developing the language of your shadow self

APRIL

Tues & Weds 2nd/3rd April – Monthly astrological meditation – Aries – I Am: Developing confidence in yourself and your identity in the world

Saturday 13th April 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditations for transforming negativity and stress into positivity and enlightenment


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Happiness, meaning and the action in front of you

 C
“We all have days (sometimes many days) where we feel completely overwhelmed by life, and are struggling to cope with things day to day. At these times it can feel as if your highest purpose is completely out of your reach. At these times it can be really useful just to focus on the immediate task at hand and do it a little better”

Dear Integral Meditators,

How can you lead a life according to your highest values, and at the same time cope with the days where you feel totally overwhelmed? The article below looks at one way…
Last call for the Spring equinox meditation happening tonight and tomorrow evening 😉

In the spirit of the journey,

Toby


Happiness, meaning and the action in front of you

One of the best ways to build your sense of happiness and wellbeing is to align your efforts in life with your highest values. Striving to achieve what you consider to be truly meaningful won’t save you from all suffering, but then your going to suffer anyway. If you align yourself with something worthwhile, then that direction and purpose makes it more likely that you’ll be happy and resilient in the face of life’s challenges.

So, then the question is: “What is the highest purpose and values that I can align myself with? And how can I start?

In contrast, we all have days (sometimes many days) where we feel completely overwhelmed by life, and are struggling to cope with things day to day. At these times it can feel as if your highest purpose is completely out of your reach. The fact that you have a higher purpose can even add to your feeling of overwhelm. At these times I find it really useful just to focus on the immediate task in front of me and do it a little better. Super simple things like:

  • Sitting with more presence and awareness
  • Tidying the desk in front of me
  • Bringing order to my bedroom
  • Writing the next email or text message mindfully and well

I hold my space, bringing order to the world right in front of me and doing the next task a little better. This way I can keep my direction under the pressure of the moment, and cope (even thrive) when I’m feeling overwhelmed. So, a question for this second practice is: “What can I do in this moment, just a little better”.
With these two mindfulness practices we can devote ourself to a meaningful life in a big picture way sustainably, and improve the world around us right now in small ways that help us stay sane.

Article and pictures © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   


All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia 

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, March 30th, April 27th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Tues 19th & Weds 20th March – Spring equinox balancing and renewing meditation

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 30th March, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday 30th March 2-5.30pm – Meditations for developing the language of your shadow self

APRIL

Tues & Weds 2nd/3rd April – Monthly astrological meditation – Aries – I Am: Developing confidence in yourself and your identity in the world

Saturday 13th April 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditations for transforming negativity and stress into positivity and enlightenment


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Concentration creative imagery Inner vision Life-fullness Meditation and Art Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mindful dreaming Mindfulness Motivation and scope

A picture speaks a thousand words

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“As the saying goes, ‘a picture speaks a thousand words’. If you can find an image that speaks to you personally about the positive mind-state that you are looking to generate, then you can use it as your object of meditation.”

 

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks at the use of images in meditation. If you enjoy it then do consider coming along to next weeks Spring equinox meditation, which uses this method quite extensively…
Quick reminder of this Saturdays Qi gong workout session, and energy meditationworkshops!

In the spirit of powerful pictures,

Toby


A picture speaks a thousand words

Meditation is really about learning to shift yourself into positive states of mind, body and mood at will. There are a number of ways of doing this, but one that for many people can be effective is the use of images. As the saying goes, ‘a picture speaks a thousand words’. If you can find an image that speaks to you personally about the positive mind-state that you are looking to generate, then you can use it as your object of meditation.

Using this method, you can create your own meditations.

For example, last week I wanted to meditate on ‘the power of my highest beliefs and potential’. I sat down to think of an image that would connect me to this. After a while I saw myself sitting on a beach in the evening, with a canopy of stars above and around me as I looked out to sea. There was a bright star above the water, as I looked at it I felt it connecting me to my highest beliefs and intentions, a simple but powerful image that ‘worked for me’. I then saw a big tiger coming from the trees behind me and sitting next to me, its head beneath the palm of my hand. I felt its power, and connected it to my own power to stick to and work towards my highest beliefs and potential.

So now I have my image, and anytime I want to connect to my highest beliefs and potential, I go to my beach with the star and the tiger.

Why not think about what it is that you want to meditate on, and create your own ‘picture that speaks a thousand words?’

Article and pictures © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   


All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia 

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, March 2nd, 16th, 30th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Tues 19th & Weds 20th March – Spring equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Saturday 16th March, 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditation for self healing and creating high levels of energy

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 30th March, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday 30th March 2-5.30pm – Meditations for developing the language of your shadow self

APRIL

Saturday 13th April 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditations for transforming negativity and stress into positivity and enlightenment


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Inner vision Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence mindful dreaming Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness

Mindful of what you believe is possible

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“If you look at your thoughts from moment to moment, you’ll see that they are often affirmations of your beliefs. They capture in a phrase what you believe is or is not possible”

 

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks at the relationship between our thoughts and what we believe is possible (or not) in our life.

In the spirit of opening to possibilities,

Toby


Mindful of what you believe is possible 

A belief you have is a subjective feeling ( not a fact) and idea about what is possible and not possible in your life. The beliefs that you have create strong moods, emotions and atmospheres about what think you can and can’t do. They influence your actions in a very real way.
If you look at your thoughts from moment to moment, you’ll see that they are often affirmations of your beliefs. They capture in a phrase what you believe is or is not possible. So, to change a belief, you need to:

  1. Become aware of the thought that summarizes the belief in your mind
  2. Make small, incremental adjustments to the structure of the thought, changing what you believe to be possible in a positive way.
  3. Once you’ve made one small adjustment, then make another, and another, perhaps 3-4 adjustments in total. So now you have a new belief, and one that opens a doorway to a whole range of positive moods, emotions and actions in your life!

Here are two examples of what I mean:

Around work:

  1. Initial thought affirming the belief – “Two projects at the same time is already difficult, there is no way I can cope with a third”
  2. First adjustment – “Adding a third project to my schedule will be challenging” (but possible!)
  3. Second adjustment – “If I’m going to take on a third project I’m going to need to be more organized than I am now”.
  4. Third Adjustment – “I’m going to enjoy the challenge of taking on a third project at work, and the growth in income that it will afford me!”

So, you can see, with the final adjustment, a new belief, atmosphere, and sense of possibility is created around the same situation.

In an unhealthy relationship:

  1. Initial thought: “I can’t bear to leave this relationship; the thought fills me with fear and sadness”
  2. First adjustment: “I accept that I can’t bear to leave this relationship, but I know its time”
  3. Second: “I can leave this relationship, even though its going to be challenging”
  4. Final: “Because I value myself and my wellbeing, I am going to leave this relationship, and its going to be ok”

Again, you can see that by gradually changing the thought structure, progressively and gradually the belief and mood about what is possible changes.

So, the basic mindful process here is:

  1. Select the life challenge that you want to work on changing your beliefs around
  2. Observe your current beliefs around what you think is possible, capture it in a sentence
  3. Create a 3-4 stage adjustment in that sentence, to gradually change that belief, and open a door to a new set of moods, possibilities and actions in that situation!

Enjoy opening to new ideas of what is possible for you!

Related articleThoughts As Affirmations: Three Questions To Help Make Your Thoughts Your Allies

Article and pictures © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   


All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia 

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, March 2nd, 16th, 30th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Tues & Weds 5th/6th March – Monthly astrological meditation – Pisces – Mindful of our beliefs and sub-conscious mind

Tues 19th & Weds 20th March – Spring equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Saturday 16th March, 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditation for self healing and creating high levels of energy

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 30th March, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday 30th March 2-5.30pm – Meditations for developing the language of your shadow self

APRIL

Saturday 13th April 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditations for transforming negativity and stress into positivity and enlightenment


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology