Month: August 2019

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Enlightened love and loving Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Primal Spirituality

From coping to thriving: The path of conscious manhood

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Dear Toby,

What is it going to take for men to thrive in their maleness in toady’s world? The article below some practical reflections on this!

In the spirit of  benevolent manhood,

Toby

 

From coping to thriving: The path of conscious manhood

What (or where) is the path of men in today’s world?
We are all aware of the women’s movement, it’s called feminism. If you are a woman and want to explore ways of feeling more liberated and powerful, then its quite easy to find places, forums, reading around your female identity that can help you. If I then ask you ‘What is the men’s movement called?’ It is likely that you’d have to pause for a moment. Then you’d realize that there really isn’t a well-known ‘men’s movement’ whose purpose within culture is to support men. the reality is that the ‘men’s movement’ is about 30-40 years behind the women’s. This is important, because if you are a man it means that it is far more difficult to find places where you can explore your masculinity and struggles as a man. Whether they are aware of it or not, many men find themselves isolated in their struggles, and deeply confused about how to even talk about it, let alone handle it with confidence.

What is male liberation?
One helpful definition of feminism (following Ken Wilber) is ‘the liberation of women from unconscious roles’. Women can choose to be housewives, mothers, carer’s, but now they can choose to have careers, go boxing, be loud and assertive. They are (ideally) no longer bound unconsciously by traditional roles, and make their choices consciously.
The thing about this is that men have many unconscious roles too; the provider, the warrior, the strong stoic one, the silent type, the bad boy, the good boy, the ‘alpha’ male, the ‘beta’ male. The list goes on. The fact is that if you’re a guy it’s likely that:

  • You are trapped in a number of unconscious roles that you aren’t aware of
  • Its difficult to discover what they are because no one is talking about it much
  • You are suffering and struggling in a way that you needn’t because you are trapped in these roles unconsciously
  • Emotions such as guilt or shame are present for you, and your range of emotions that can give you real joy, pleasure and thriving are limited

So then, male liberation is quite simply ‘the liberation of men from their own traditional unconscious roles’. Like with women, this doesn’t mean that you can’t engage in traditional roles such as a provider or warrior, it just means you are doing it consciously, and integrating other non-traditional roles into your male path in a way that enables you to thrive and feel empowered alongside your female friends, lovers and colleagues as they tread their own path of liberation.

Some essential questions
These are either to ask yourself as a man (or to ask your male friends if you are a woman!):

  • What roles as a man am I currently trapped in? And what is the price I am paying?
  • What would my idea of my own path of ‘conscious manhood’ be? How can I start exploring and articulating it?
  • To whom do I (or could I) go to for support in my path of male liberation and thriving?
  • What can I do today to get on that path?

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Monday Setember 2nd, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Starting October 5th – The Integral Meditation Program for Coaches, Counsellors and Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and deep wellness

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present

On appreciation, gratitude and impermanence

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“When you truly know what you have is transient, then you can short-circuit the natural tendency that we all have to take things for granted. This in turn gives us a powerful incentive to appreciate what we have, and make the most of it today.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article is a personal reflection on impermanence, which is frankly one of the most powerful objects of mindfulness ‘in there’!

The 20% early bird offer on the Integral Mindfulness Program has now finished, but you can still get 15% off by signing up this week.
Tuesday and Wednesday meditation class this week are the first a series of six classes on the theme of Zen.
Then on Saturday we re-start the Qi gong workout and meditation session at 9am, and then the monthly Meditation workshop for beginners is at 11am.

In the spirit of  impermanence and appreciation,

Toby

On appreciation, gratitude and impermanence

Impermanence
When I first started meditating consistently in 1994, the first object of focus was on death and impermanence. I was teaching art and design at a school at the time. Every morning I would get up and meditate for twenty minutes on:

  • The certainty of my death and the uncertainty of its time
  • That at death I would travel from my body without any of the physical wealth, property and resources from this life, as well as without my loved ones that I would be leaving behind
  • From this I then focused on the resolution to make best use of the time I had today. To live fully and meaningfully according to my values and highest goals, so that when I die I do so without regrets.

I also imagined the death process, and observed how, if my breathing stopped at any moment, then my life would have about two minutes left to run. I (and you) hold onto life by a thin thread! This gave rise to a very ‘clean’ focused mind where I was able to drop many smaller concerns, and spend most of my day attending to what is important.

Bringing it home 
The purpose of meditating in this way is to bring our mind into a fuller recognition of our reality; we are living in a state of continuous impermanence, and we have limited time to achieve our potential in the world; to love, to contribute, to participate, to engage powerfully and benevolently.
Recently two people important to me died unexpectedly. A very good friend of my family, Hugh Buck died while leading a wildlife trip in Morocco. With his passing a whole section of my childhood memories in Asia moves into the context of someone who will never return (as the person he was in this life). Two weeks ago a good friend of mine and mentor in the recent phase of my own coaching development, Mark Hemstedt died suddenly and unexpectedly while leading a training program in KL.
While we would not wish these things to happen, the reality is they do sometimes, and sooner or later it will happen to us. Knowing that viscerally helps us make use of the time we have authentically.

Impermanence and gratitude
Mainstream mindfulness has almost become ubiquitous with gratitude practice. One way to really change the context and power of your gratitude is to combine it with a conscious awareness of impermanence. When you know what you have is transient, then you can short-circuit the natural tendency that we all have to take things for granted. This in turn gives us a powerful incentive to appreciate what we have, and make the most of it today.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday 10th August, 2-5.30pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 24th August, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Ten essential mindfulness practices

Dear Integral Meditators,

Mindfulness is, in essence the art of attention training. Looked at this way there are many, many ways of paying attention, and so there are a huge variety of mindfulness practices. The list below lists ten ‘mindful domains’, each of which play an important part in a truly integral mindfulness practice.

If you enjoy the article, then do have a look at the new Integral Mindfulness Program, which explores many of these practices in depth!

In the spirit of mindful wellbeing,

Toby

The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors and Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and deep wellnessOverview: This is a six-session dynamic mindfulness program designed for:

  • Those looking for an engaged, practical mindfulness course designed to build resilience, effectiveness and wellness in the face of work and life challenges
  • Trainers, coaches and therapists looking to integrate mindfulness into their own professional practice with clients
  • People who have been through basic conventional mindfulness training programs and are looking for the next level of practice and performance

Early bird offer: Get 20% off if you sign up before end Monday August 19th. Click here for full details

Ten essential mindfulness meditation practices

Mindfulness is, in essence the art of attention training. Looked at this way there are many, many ways of paying attention, and so there are a huge variety of mindfulness practices. The list below lists ten ‘mindful domains’, each of which play an important part in a truly integral mindfulness practice

  1. Grounding your attention in your body, sense and breathing awareness – The quickest route to basic psychological sanity and stability is through the senses. We should be aiming to develop ‘mountain like stability’ on our body and senses, which enables us to feel centred and stable even in the biggest life storms.
  2. Practicing the non-emergency nature of the present moment – Most situations in our life are not an emergency, yet we spend much of our life in minor (or major) crisis-mode. Recognising present safety and relaxing properly enables us to enjoy our life, and when it does arise to engage risk and danger wisely and intelligently.

With practice 1& 2 solid, we can then commit to increasing your range of functional states and perspectives through:

  1. Cultivating effective focus and concentration – Specifically with integral mindfulness we look to develop high quality ‘mindful flow states’, both in and out of meditation. These flow states are a combination of relaxation and focus, and act as the basis for sustainable, effective concentration
  2. Witnessing, observing, listening, being present – We should be continually stepping back and improving our capacity to observe what is going on within our field of awareness as an observer; being present, witnessing and nothing more.
  3. Committing to be aware – Number five is simply an ongoing commitment to turn and face ourselves, and notice what is going on within. It means consistently turning the light of our awareness inside with curiosity, courage, care
  4. Developing your emotional intelligence – Specifically: Being comfortable feeling emotions ( (both positive and negative), cultivating engaged detachment (the capacity to feel emotions fully and engage with them deeply without being consumed or victimised by them). Cultivating acceptance, appreciation, joy and benevolence/caring as our baseline emotional states. Getting to know the emotions we currently label as ‘negative’ well enough to find and leverage upon their value.
  5. Cognitive intelligence – The skills of thinking less in terms of quantity, thinking better in terms of quality. Also combining ‘positive thinking’ and attention to the good with critical thinking and effective risk assessment.
  6. Intentionality and responsibility – Living our life deliberately and ‘on purpose’. Expanding the depth and range of our intention and motivations for our actions. Setting intention before our actions, so that our actions are aligned with our highest intentions.
  7. Developing your capacity for creative awareness that accesses the non-linear, unconscious, intuitive and imaginative aspects of our potential.
  8. Having an enlightenment practice – A commitment to ongoing insight into the formless, timeless causal dimension of existence. Learning to rest our attention in it and gradually focus our fundamental sense of identity there.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday 10th August, 2-5.30pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 24th August, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness One Minute Mindfulness

Mindful of: Your tone of voice 

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Dear Integral Meditators,

So much of our life is spent communicating, it’s definitely worthwhile investing out time, attention and intelligence to ´craft’ your messages and their tones wisely and benevolently. This weeks article explores some practical ways of doing this!

Final reminder of this Saturdays  Practical introduction to Qi gong workshop, 9.30am-1pm, Tuesday meditation classes re-start next week 😉

In the spirit of tone,

Toby

Mindful of: Your tone of voice 

I have recently come to the end of a three week holiday where we have been travelling in France, Spain and England. As you probably know, holidays can be fun and relaxing, but they can also be quite stressful, as the different personalities of all those traveling run up against each other!
One of the ways that I have focused on mindfulness practice as I have been traveling is to be aware of the tone of my voice as I communicate. I have found this to be a super useful way of managing my own moods, and saying what I want to say in a way that is helpful to my fellow travellers.
Speaking is not just what you say, it’s the way that you say it. Even with very basic words such as ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ here are a huge variety of tones with which you say it that completely change the message and mood.
So, as a mindfulness practice tone of voice can be thought of as consisting of two questions:

  1. ‘What do I want to say?’
  2. ´What is the best way to say what I want to say?’

The first question is about the basic message. The second is about the delivery; what is the tone of voice and way of wording your message that will maximise the chance of it being effective, and giving the best result for everyone concerned? If you spend a few moments before you speak on these two questions, then it’s surprising the changes that you can make for the better.
So much of our life is spent communicating, it’s definitely worthwhile investing out time, attention and intelligence to ´craft’ your messages and their tones wisely and benevolently.

Here are two other areas to pay attention to around tone:
Your tone tells you your mood– Quite often we are not fully aware of our mood or emotional state until we say something, and our tone tells us a lot about what we are feeling. So simply listening to your tone of voice can be a very interesting and useful thing to pay attention to.
Increase your range of positive tones -Get to know what a range of positive tones sound like and practice them. For example, an assertive tone (as opposed to aggressive), loving/caring, light (as opposed to heavy), serious, inquisitive, sincere, calm, or joyful. Try and develop the range of tones that you have available to use consciously.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday 10th August, 2-5.30pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 24th August, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology