Month: December 2019

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Concentration creative imagery Enlightened Flow Meditation techniques mind body connection One Minute Mindfulness Presence and being present

Finding refuge from Time Oppression – Dropping out of time and into stillness

W
“One point about dropping out of time and into stillness is that we can then return to our experience of time more enjoyably and effectively.”
W

Dear Integral Meditators,

Were in the gap now between Christmas and the new year, the article below offers a few hints on how to use the in between space to find a deeper experience of stillness.

I’m just getting together the new years courses, the first meditation session will be the 2020 New year releasing and inviting meditation on the 7th & 8th Jan, with the latest edition of  The Men’s group  – the path of conscious manhood kicking off on the 13th January.

In the spirit of stillness moving through time,

Toby

Finding refuge from Time Oppression – Dropping out of time and into stillness (to get better at time)

Almost everyone, myself included seems to be suffering from the feeling (not necessarily the reality) of ‘not enough time’. The practice below offers one way in which we can liberate ourselves from the oppression of time, and even learn to thrive in our (apparently) time poor environment.

Trying to cultivate stillness in meditation by becoming physically still and just focusing on the breathing can sometimes feel labour intensive. One way of cultivating stillness in a more ergonomic manner is to realize that the movement in our mind depends upon two foundational elements in order to sustain itself; time and space. In this article I shall be focusing on how to still the mind by stilling time.

Without time the mind cannot function
The first point to realize here is that time (The idea of past, present and future) is a concept and creation of the mind itself. If you drop the concept of time then time itself, for you in that moment stops, and you enter into a place called ‘The eternal present’.

If you drop time, stillness can be stabilized
If you imagine strongly that past and future no longer exist, that they have disappeared, then your wandering distracted mind temporarily has no-where to go except the present moment. This is because to move into the past and future depends upon the idea of there being time.

Dropping out of time, moving entering into the stillness of the eternal present
In addition to imagining time has disappeared, you can also imagine yourself in a landscape or a place that for you helps you to relax into the present more deeply, and step out of time. You have a whole vocabulary of images and felt experiences in your memory that, if you recall them will help you to relax and ‘step out of time and into the present’. You can try this technique for 3-5minutes initially, and build up to 10mins or more if you like. If you persist, then you will find that you develop the capacity to drop ‘out of time’ and into a state of stillness relatively easily, at will, and in a way that does not take much effort.

Returning to time more mindfully
The point about dropping out of time and into stillness in this way is, firstly it is very relaxing and invites recovery, self-awareness and wisdom. Secondly, by dropping out of time for a while, we can then return to our experience of past, present and future more enjoyably and effectively. Because we are not obsessively stuck thinking of the the past or future, we can consciously consider past events and future scenarios more calmly, rationally and effectively.
By stepping out of time regularly and entering stillness, we can return to time and use it better!

Related article: The inevitability of the present moment

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Tues 7th & Weds 8th January – 2020 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Starts Monday January 13th, 6.30-8pm – The Men’s group, the path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation AsiaOnline Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Concentration creative imagery Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

Strong back, soft front

W
“By practicing a physically ‘strong back, soft front’ posture, we can get a feeling of what it is like to be inwardly strong and at the same time gentle on a psychological level.”
W 

Dear Toby,

This weeks article looks considers how physical posture can invite psychological change, and how you can cultivate real inner strength.

In the spirit of  strength and gentleness,

Toby

Strong back, soft front

Traditional meditation posture involves sitting up straight, with an unsupported back. The head and neck are above the chest and shoulders, chest above the belly, belly sitting above the hips, like a stack of bricks. One reason for this is that meditation is about alertness as much as relaxation. If you lean against something, it may be relaxing, but the danger of your alertness dipping increases. So we can sit upright to cultivate this balance of relaxation and alertness upon which all effective meditation and mindfulness relies.

Soft front, strong back
As you are sitting up straight with a strong back, you can also deliberately soften the front of your body, the chest, belly and face. So you have a soft front, backed up by a strong backbone. This can be a physical posture that reminds us of how to be in life; we can present a gentle, restrained face to the world, because we know we are strong inside. Because we are inwardly strong, we are confident enough to be gentle outside (unless it is appropriate not to be so for a specific reason).

Armoring the front to hide a weak back
Often in life our position is the opposite of strong back, soft front. We feel afraid and insecure on the inside (weak back), and so to compensate we present a strong, armored, even aggressive front to the world to compensate. This affects our sense of who we are, and how other people experience us. By practicing the ‘strong back, soft front’ posture, we can get a bodily feeling of what it is like to be inwardly strong and at the same time gentle on a psychological level.

Practicum
Spend a little time each day sitting with a strong back and soft front. Let your body learn to recognize what this feels like. As you go about your daily activities, experiment with what it is like to feel strong inside and so gentle on the outside. Try talking and acting from this place in your relationships and in the way that you interact with the world. Notice how this changes how you participate in your life, and the opportunities for creative change it opens for you.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Tuesday and Wednesday 17,18 December – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Understanding the ergonomics of acceptance

W
“How much more ’emotionally ergonomic’ could you be if you didn’t give your negative emotions the resistance that they need to become stronger?”
Y

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks a bit closer at what mindful acceptance looks like, how it helps, and how you can start practicing.

In the spirit of acceptance,

Toby

Understanding the ergonomics of mindful acceptance

When you are building muscle in the gym, you do so by giving the muscle resistance to work against, so it becomes stronger.
The same holds true on a psychological level; when you resist an emotion or situation that is present for you, you are providing ‘resistance’ for it to grow stronger.
So, when you have a difficult emotion or circumstance, counter-intuitively often the best thing to do once you become aware of it is to practice acceptance, aka non-resistance to it. When you practice acceptance skill fully, you deny the emotion the ´resistance’ that it needs to build strength. Consequently, the amount of energy you need to deal with it effectively is much reduced. The energy that you save then becomes available to focus on doing things that are actually going to help.

Example: Working with combined physical & logistical challenges
Recently I had go to hospital to repeat a small hernia operation. The next day was quite challenging, as I still had to do some work, and it was really quite painful to move around. As I was trying to catch up on my work and communications, my computer decided to stop working. This meant that, in addition to the physical discomfort, my work was doubly disrupted.
The next day I had to travel to the repair centre. Upon arrival I was told that they couldn’t fix it for a price less than the computer itself, and that it would take 4-8 weeks! So I then had to walk and travel some more to get a new computer. Basically the whole afternoon when I could have been resting up was taken hobbling around town obtaining a functional piece of hardware to work from!
It was a long day, and I could go on about other things that went wrong as well. At each stage I could feel my mind and emotions rising up to resist the reality of what is going on:

  • “I can’t believe it chose this time of all times to break, cant my computer see I just had an operation!”
  • “What, how can the repair cost as much as the original??”
  • “Why can’t I just catch a break!”

So, at each stage I had to consciously notice the emotional resistance, and gently encourage myself into a space of acceptance of the circumstances. From there I could look at what was in front of me, and act in the way that is most effective and took the least energy.
By practicing acceptance and non-resistance, by the end of the day I was resting up on my couch, with my new computer, and all that needed to be done had been done. Acceptance made it much less stressful and much more ergonomic than it would have been if I had been fighting my misfortune all the way through the afternoon.

In your own life:
What are the circumstances and experiences that you tend to resist? What emotions do you tend to repress or deny? What would happen if you were to practice conscious non-resistance and acceptance with them? How much more ’emotionally ergonomic’ could you be if you didn’t give your negative emotions the resistance that they need to become stronger?

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Tues  10th & Weds 11th December – Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday 14th & 15th December, 2-5.30pm – The Mindful Heart Meditation Workshop

Tuesday and Wednesday 17,18 December – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Awareness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness One Minute Mindfulness

Allowing & Participating – Rethinking ‘being in control’

W
“By mindfully combining allowing and participating we can control things better, without feeling the need to be so ‘in control”
M 

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article offers a couple of practical thoughts on how to re-frame our idea of being in control in a way that means less stress and more effectiveness. This weeks Wednesday meditation class will be focusing on how to work with these ideas!

In the spirit of participation,

Toby

Allowing & Participating – Rethinking ‘being in control’

I’ve recently been experiencing a time in my life where there are so many factors undergoing change that inevitably anxiety keeps coming up. When change occurs, especially deep and radical change, the part of us that wants to feel ´in control’ inevitably feels stressed because the situation feels ´out of control’.
I did a session with a client about the same topic. She was fighting with a similar feeling of trying to be ‘in control’ whilst feeling so many factors ‘out of control’. One of the ways in which we reframed our situation was to use the polarity of ‘accepting and participating’ rather than ‘in control or out of control’.
In control and out of control is a win-lose game; to control is to win, to be out of control is to loose. With allowing and participating:

  • We allow things to be uncertain, unfixed, to an extent beyond our control. By accepting we relax more comfortably into the situation we find ourself without unnecessary struggle
  • By participating, we look for ways to dance with and influence the situation in creative and constructive ways. Without trying to fix everything at once, we enjoy engaging and participating with our life each day through action that is as intelligent and playful as we are able.

When we practice allowing and participating, we can create a win-win experience: We can relax with things we can’t totally control, while staying active and engaged.
By mindfully combining allowing and participating we can control things better, without feeling the need to be so ‘in control’.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Tues  10th & Weds 11th December – Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday 14th & 15th December, 2-5.30pm – The Mindful Heart Meditation Workshop

Tuesday and Wednesday 17,18 December – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology