Month: May 2022

Categories
Awareness and insight Concentration creative imagery Energy Meditation Inner vision Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

The nuance of mindful goal vs process orientation

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on how to increase the quality of your output by increasing the quality of your attention to process, there is a lot to gain from understanding the nuance of the technique!

New Meditation class series starting 14/15th June The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilance.

And dates for all events in June are in the ‘Upcoming classes’ section below

In the spirit of process,

Toby

 

The nuance of mindful goal vs process orientation

How can proper mindful application to process improve your capability, confidence and efficiency? And how can you really pay attention to what you are doing, instead of thinking you are paying attention, when in fact you aren’t? This second part sounds funny I know, but you will see what I mean when we get into the examples, it’s a technical problem that means we are focusing, but we are focusing at the wrong point of our process, which sabotages its efficiency. With this in mind, let’s have a look at my two everyday examples of this:

Eyes on the type-pad, not the screen
I’m typing out this article on my phone, which has a very sensitive type pad. If I’m even slightly off it will use the letter next to the one that I mean, and therefore a typo. I can massively reduce my typos by watching the type pad as I type, rather than the letters appearing on the screen. It’s very tempting to watch the screen as I type, because I want to know that the words are coming out correctly. However, taking my eyes off each letter as I type (looking at the desired result), rather than trusting the process and keeping my eyes on my fingers creates a noticeably more error strewn result. So this is a simple example of how orienting more on process helps. Of course this doesn’t mean that I don’t look up and so check for errors occasionally, but at the moment I type my eyes are on the keys.

Watching the ball onto the strings
When I play squash, the first principle I always try and get going in my strokes is watching the ball onto the strings. This means that, at the point where my ball hits the strings of my racket, my head is still, eyes looking at the point of contact. This is real attention to process. A lot of people think they are doing that when in fact what they do is, a fraction of a second before hitting the ball they raise their head and look at the front wall, so they can see where the ball is going to go (the shift to result orientation). That means when the most important moment of the shot is immanent, they are looking in the wrong direction! So of course, that’s something we can be applying to many of our daily activities and interactions; We take our attention away at the crucial moment. We think the process is ‘done’ so we shift attention (often fractionally and without noticing) to the result, which leads to a decrease in quality of execution and often a ‘mistake’.

Conclusion: Finishing the process, then looking up!:
By ‘watching the ball onto the strings’ I can improve the basics of my squash game like length and height of shot by about 10-20% (sounds unbelievable? I know) so then if you were identifying the ‘critical moment of many other activities eg:

  • Listening and talking in a conversation
  • Meditating
  • Stepping as you walk
  • A daily work activity or leisure task
  • A piece of creative writing or art

How much could you improve on your execution by really paying attention in the right way? The nice thing about this is that, but paying attention to the process better, we get a better result.

Related article: The spectrum of mindful attention

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Starts Tuesday /Wednesday 14/15th June – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilanceIn a sentence: Learn the art of ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom through integrative meditation
Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series is an ongoing series that looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention…. Read full details
Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Saturday 11th June, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Starts Tuesday /Wednesday 14/15th June – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilance

Tues & Weds 21/22nd June – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday June 25th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership

Peace or victory?

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on mindfulness around conversations and arguments. we all know the expression “Do you want to be right or to be happy”, I explore a few of the nuances of this.

This weeks Tuesday & Wednesday meditations are an exploration of this theme in combination with that of ‘engaged equanimity’, you are welcome to join us, either live or online.

And final call for this Saturday morning’s Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat, if you haven’t tries it already, you might enjoy it!

In the spirit of the victory of peace,

Toby

 

Peace or victory?

The need to be right
It’s a familiar saying “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Certainly, in inter-relational mindfulness this is an important question. If we can’t be happy until the other person (or everyone!) acknowledges that we are right, then our happiness is going to be disrupted for large sections of our life. The skill here then would seem to be letting go of the need to be right, and choosing to value our peace of mind over ‘rightness’.

The need to be seen to be right
Its an interesting distinction between being right, and being seen to be right. Without the other saying explicitly we are right, often it seems not to be enough just to trust our own judgment assert our position and then leave it at that. Often the need for the approval or affirmation of others means that we can’t rest in peace unless we get it. So, when looking for the peace of being happy rather than right, accepting that we may not get the approval of the person/s we are arguing with would seem to be an important area to be mindful of.

The need for self-trust and sound judgment
If we are going to be focusing on “being happy rather than right” it’s also important to build trust and confidence in yourself, your perception and ability to process the facts of the matter as far as they are available. We need to articulate and hold to our values as well as we can. Being happy doesn’t need to come at the cost of not being able to stick up for our position, and act accordingly. We need to be as objectively ‘right’ as we can in our own judgments, without being addicted to the need for other people to always affirm that position to us.

To be happy to be not understood and seen
If we are not affirmed as right, or even dismissed as wrong in a conversation and we want to be able to retain a degree of inner peace, then we need to be ok sometimes with not being seen or understood by the other or others. This is not easy! But there is a lot to be gained from paying attention when you are in positions like this, and using them as a test off your independent-mindedness, and ability to be even-minded in the face of the disapproval, scorn, disagreement or indifference of others.

The victory of peace
The victory we are aiming at here is the peace that comes from not needing to be right, or have the approval of others. I would add to this that in combination with this we need to be able to trust and feel confident in our own judgment, otherwise we risk capitulating to others in an inappropriate way, and “letting go” of difficult conversations/arguments that need to be pursued over time simply because they make us uncomfortable.

Summary points for mindful reflection:

  • Do I want to be right or at peace?
  • Can I accept I may not get the approval of affirmation of others sometimes?
  • Do I trust my own judgement and clarity of thinking in this situation?
  • Can I be ok with not being understood or ‘seen’ sometimes?
  • How committed am I to the victory of peace rather than rightness?

Related article: Engaged equanimity

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday May 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Tues 17th/Weds 18th May: Wesak meditation

Saturday May 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Saturday 11th June, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self mind body connection Mindful Breathing Mindful Resilience Presence and being present

Fundamental sensuality, fundamental wealth & sustainable compassion

Dear Integral Meditators,

Where is your fundamental wealth and abundance to be found? This weeks article explores this question, and how to develop your connection to your inner resources.
If you enjoy the article, then we will be exploring it in some depth in this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday class, and final reminder for this Saturday’s  Zen deep dive-mini retreat!

In the spirit of the fundamentals,Toby

Fundamental sensuality, fundamental wealth & sustainable compassionYour fundamental sensuality
Sit or stand for a while, focusing on breathing into your body, and gently feeling its fundamental vitality or life-force. If you do this, you will notice that your body and body awareness starts to become sensual. This sensuality is a feeling in the body that is warm and alive. You can enhance this feeling using the breathing in this way: Inhale into the core of your body sensing its living nature. Breathe out relaxing your whole body into this feeling. You can build a flow state that is focused, relaxed and positively sensual like this. You could call this practice connecting to your fundamental sensuality, or vitality.
The thing about your fundamental sensuality is that it feels good, feels positive. It makes your body feel more comfortable, alive and happy. As a result, it is easier for you to direct your thoughts in a positive manner, and generate a variety of enjoyable emotions. Fundamental sensuality also encourages basic reality orientation, in the sense that it places us in contact with the immediate moment, taking us into our body, rather than getting lost in our mind.

Your fundamental warmth & wealth
Once you have some experience of your fundamental vitality or sensuality, you can practice directing its warmth toward yourself. You will discover that this feels friendly and pleasant, and encourages the sense of being both well disposed and supportive toward yourself. Chogyam Trungpa called this our ‘fundamental warmth’. When we focus on ourselves with warmth, it naturally gives rise to self-compassion and sensitivity in a way that encourages healing and integration, rather than wallowing in pain.

Sustainable compassion
With some experience of focusing your fundamental warmth toward yourself, the feeling then starts to come that you are fundamentally wealthy in the inner sense of the word, that you have an abundance of resources. If you then take this warm awareness and vitality and turn it around, then it becomes warmth and natural compassion for others. You feel as if you can generate warmth and compassion for others easily and without much effort, not because you are obliged to, but because you can and it feels quite natural to do so. Moreover, you can focus this warmth and compassion upon others with confidence that it won’t run out, and that if you need a source to recharge yourself from, then you can simply turn your fundamental warmth back toward yourself and receive it for a while. So, this position then gives us real confidence in our capacity to be compassionate and benevolent toward others, without fear of burning out or getting our batteries ‘run down’ by them, even if they are so called ‘energy vampires’ who specialize in using people’s sympathy to take energy from them!
So, the basic practice here has three stages:

  1. Developing your fundamental sensuality
  2. Directing it toward yourself to build your fundamental warmth and self-compassion
  3. Turning your fundamental warmth outward to the world and generating consistent compassion and generosity toward others in a way that is sustainable, and doesn’t lead to exhaustion.

You can build this up gradually, there is no hurry. But the idea is that, over time your energy becomes more and more resilient both intra-personally in your relationship to yourself, and inter-personally in your relationship toward others and the outer world.

Related article: Compassionate presence, awakened action
What is the point in being more present?

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

In a sentence: Establish the inner strength, skill and courage needed to make you resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and thrive in both times of adversity and times of peace.

Overview: The Warriors Creed is a poem by an unknown Samurai in the 14th century. It outlines a code of conduct and a state of presence based around a series of inner qualities that can be cultivated through mindful contemplation, then applied to our daily life…read full details

Saturday 14th April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreatThese 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart…read full details

Saturday May 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreatIn a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Tues 17th/Weds 18th May: Wesak meditation

Saturday May 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Saturday 14th April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Concentration creative imagery Inner vision Life-fullness meditation and creativity Mindfulness Presence and being present Primal Spirituality Zen Meditation

What is the point of being more present?

“Imagine you are a tree with deep roots. When wind, rain and storms come, your branches get blown around, but you don’t worry, because the strength of your roots is more than capable of dealing with the stress. You can even enjoy the play of the weather and the extremity of it. Being more present is like that, you can choose to be a bit more like that”

 

Dear Integral Meditators,

 

Why strive to be more present? I hope the article below encourages you to keep persisting!
This week there is a break in the  Tuesday & Wednesday class.  but if you scroll down below you can see all events for May, including the Zen deep dive-mini retreat, and the Qi-gong and Taoist breathwork clinic.

In the spirit of presence,

Toby

What is the point of being more present?

Why is mindfulness a discipline focused on being more present? If I become more present to each moment and my life, what is likely to happen? Here’s a list of six capacities that start to come online when you choose to become more present:

Stability & sanity – Presence implies that you are aware of what is going on in your immediate sensory environment, at least to a degree. This gives a point of grounding and stability for our awareness; not lost in our mind, but present to our senses. From this comes what I would call ‘basic sanity’ or basic reality orientation; our observations and life-strategies start to come more from what is seen and experienced, rather than what our mind is fantasizing about.

Self-awareness and self-regulation – Following on from point one, being present invites a greater awareness of ourself. If we are self-aware in a reasonably balanced manner, then the chances of us doing things to help restore and remain in balance increases. We start to use our natural intelligence effectively.

Creativity – Once we have some stability in the present, this then invites a creative response to the present. We start to recognize each moment as an opportunity for self-expression, innovation and evolution. Life becomes playful, fun and enquiring, rather than automatic, monotone and predictable.

Wonderment – When we start to combine presence with creativity, the world starts to glow, starts to feel more technicolor. The term ‘spiritual’ ceases to become about beliefs and philosophy, and more about the direct perception of our world, which becomes mysterious  (in a good way) and invites adventure,  curiosity and luminosity.

Appreciation & generosity – Presence invites appreciation of what is, and a sense of being rich, very inwardly wealthy. We experience what we have in a new way, where we really know it. More than this we start to sense within us an infinite resource of life-fullness. This in turn invites a sense of generosity, a sense of benevolence “I have so much, I’d love to pass some onto you” type thing!

Thinking well about the future and past
Solidly grounded in the present, we can re-configure the way we reflect on the past and plan for the future, we can choose how we frame them, we can enjoy the opportunities of the future, rather than being weighed down by anxiety around uncertainty. We become better at learning from the past and creating (see point three) our future.

So, I hope this has convinced you to persist with any practices you may have for being more present in your life, most of my articles are implicitly about presence and the capabilities that come from it. To end with, here is a simple picture:
Imagine you are a tree with deep roots. When wind, rain and storms come, your branches get blown around, but you don’t worry, because the strength of your roots is more than capable of dealing with the stress. You can even enjoy the play of the weather and the extremity of it.
Being more present is like that, you can choose to be a bit more like that today if you want, and why wouldn’t you?

Related article: Compassionate presence, awakened action
& Inner strength – gathering your energy into one place

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

In a sentence: Establish the inner strength, skill and courage needed to make you resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and thrive in both times of adversity and times of peace.

Overview: The Warriors Creed is a poem by an unknown Samurai in the 14th century. It outlines a code of conduct and a state of presence based around a series of inner qualities that can be cultivated through mindful contemplation, then applied to our daily life…read full details

 

Saturday 14th April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart…read full details

Saturday May 28th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)
Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Tues 17th/Weds 18th May: Wesak meditation

Saturday May 28th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Saturday 14th April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology