Month: December 2022

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A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight Inner vision Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Breathing Presence and being present

Essential happiness – Accepting & receiving

“To breathe and know you are alive is a form of inner richness that is like a stream or river; you can just tune into the flow of it and immerse yourself, breath by breath”

Dear Integral Meditators,

For those of you celebrating it a beautiful Christmas. This weeks article & meditation is a nice way to relax into the year end space and enjoy what is present there for you to enjoy!

In the spirit of  accepting & receiving,

Toby

Essential happiness – Accepting & receiving

I titled an article earlier this year ‘happiness as acceptance’. In it I proposed that a lot of ‘being happy’ is not so much an act of explicit creating new things to be happy about in your life. Rather it is about the acknowledgment and acceptance of the things that are already there in your life that can act as a cause of happiness/wellbeing/contentment/richness. In this sense then happiness is an act of opening to and receiving; letting the good things in our life really ‘land’ in our direct experience. For example, today:

  • To have the leisure to write on the morning of Christmas eve
  • To have slept and dreamed well
  • I am in the presence of family
  • I have had a successful business year (by and large) in 2022
  • I have many stimulating ideas for adventures in 2023

These are all things that are right here that, in order to receive good energy from I just need to recognise and open to, to accept. If I can do this then I immediately connect to a source and a sense of wellbeing in a simple, non-complex and visceral way.

Why do we resist?

Its an interesting question to ask ourselves why exactly do we withhold from accepting the happiness that is ours for the taking? I suspect each one of us might have slightly different reasons for doing so according to our different histories. The main thing however is to start to see what is there. If we can do this then we can begin to open gradually to receive the richness that is, quite simply ours for the taking.

Essential happiness

Meditatively-speaking we can start to go beyond ‘reasons to be happy’ by understanding that there is a direct form of happiness that comes from being connected to life-in-the-moment. If as I breathe in, I can open to and receive the essential aliveness of myself, relaxing into that as I breathe out, I can connect myself to something non-verbal and experiential that you could call ‘experiential’ or existential happiness. To breathe and know you are alive is a form of inner richness that is like a stream or river; you can just tune into the flow of it and immerse yourself, breath by breath.

As a meditation you can do this in two stages if you like:

  1. Look for reasons that, if you recognize, acknowledge and receive them give rise to a feeling of happiness, as in the first paragraph above. Breathe and open to these for a while
  2. Then move on to working with receiving your aliveness as you breathe in, relaxing into it as you breathe out. Practice tuning into and immersing yourself in the essential happiness of bring alive and connected to life

With this meditation there need be very little striving, its 85% opening to and receiving and letting that be enough!

Related reading: Natural happiness

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Integral Meditation Practice (IMP) is a different kind of mind-body training, that aims to provide optimal inner peace, centeredness, energy and insight for the contemporary meditation practitioner. It combines eastern and western forms of practice, as well as ancient and modern ones into a series of integrative practices. The practices enable the meditator to remain resilient, energized and creative in the face of the multi-faceted challenges of modern life. These eight classes give an introduction to IMP, in a simple, accessible manner…see full details

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 ‘Beginners mind’ meditation

This meditation session is focused upon setting up the 2022 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2022

Read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday Dec 21st, 7.30-8.30pm – Free Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 New year ‘Beginners mind’ meditation

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday January 28th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership

Moving toward or away from reality?

“Good quality rational thinking is not rushed thinking, it is not emotional thinking, or impulsive thinking. You could say that rational thinking is mindful thinking, where we take the time to ‘reason’ things out in an appropriate way, and to really watch and observe”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article is an exploration of the theme of mindful thinking which, in the context of this article means thinking that takes us toward reality, rather than away from it! I hope you enjoy it.

In the new year starting Jan 10th 2023 I’ll be running the Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course . If your looking to really get your teeth into your meditation practice next year, this is a great way to start!

Closer to then, this Wednesday 21st is the Free Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only). All are welcome, its a nice way to mindfully wrap up the year and o on an inner winter-time journey!

In the spirit of  the solstice and wishing you a fulfilling and mindful Christmas,

Toby

 

Moving toward or away from reality? – Rational vs rationalization

With regard to the mind, of the main things we are trying to do in integrative mindfulness is to slow it down enough to make it conscious and high-quality in terms of its thinking. Once we have done this, we can then actually speed it up again and it will serve to reduce our stress and increase our effectiveness, rather than getting in the way!

Rationality – Thinking that takes us toward reality

Conscious, high-quality thinking really means rational thinking in the holistic sense of the word. It means thinking that is based around the observable facts that are available to us in any given situation. It means setting aside pre-conceived ideas and biases with regard how we think or want things to be. It is letting the objective evidence inform us as far as possible. Rationality is designed to take us toward reality, to help us understand it as clearly as is possible.

Rational thinking is trustworthy thinking. If we trust our own thinking process, we will gain confidence and trust in our mind and in our intelligence. It means being disciplined and rigorous in our observation of ourself and our world.

Good quality rational thinking is not rushed thinking, it is not emotional thinking, or impulsive thinking. You could say that rational thinking is mindful thinking, where we take the time to ‘reason’ things out in an appropriate way, and to really watch and observe.

Rationalization – Creating the fantasy that you want

Rationalization is the inverse of rationality. If we understand it, it really helps clarify what true rationality is. To ‘rationalize’ means to take an idea that we want to be true, and create reasons why it is true. It takes what we want and then uses the intellect to fabricate ideas to support it.

  • If I am angry, I can ignore the clear body-signals that I am angry, and tell myself that I am not angry because I am not the sort of person who gets angry in these situations
  • If I fail in a business venture I don’t want to be at fault, so I blame it all on fate and circumstance, rather than looking for evidence of mistakes I made and what I can learn from them
  • Out of fear I find reasons not to trust others, and use it to justify my own lack of trustworthiness, rather than assessing each person on their individual merits, and make myself accountable for my own trustworthiness.

Rationality takes me towards reality and makes me effective there. Rationalization often takes me away from reality and makes me less effective; my mind is somewhere other than my reality.

A four-question rationality process

This is a variation on a previous four-stage engaged mindfulness process that I created a while back. It is designed to put in place some of the essential thought strictures you need to be rational in a given situation. You can ask these four questions one after the other and they will lead you rationally from awareness to appropriate action, step by step

  • What are the facts that I need to be aware of here?
  • What are the realities here that I need to accept?
  • What do I need to take responsibility for here?
  • What do I need to do next to move toward the best possible result?

Final point here, to be rational really takes presence. You have to be present to what IS, to be rational! Wishing you well in the noble and often-not-easy pursuit of mindful rationality.

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Wednesday Dec 21st, 7.30-8.30pm – Free Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

In Celtic the name of the winter solstice is ‘Alban Arthan’ or ‘The Light of Arthur’. In this case Arthur refers to the Sun God who, at this time of maximum darkness in the year dies and is reborn in the world of nature and within ourselves. This will be a chance to reflect on the spiritual meaning and power of the winter season. We will look at the different ways our own inner light can ‘die and be re-born once more’….read full details

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Integral Meditation Practice (IMP) is a different kind of mind-body training, that aims to provide optimal inner peace, centeredness, energy and insight for the contemporary meditation practitioner. It combines eastern and western forms of practice, as well as ancient and modern ones into a series of integrative practices. The practices enable the meditator to remain resilient, energized and creative in the face of the multi-faceted challenges of modern life. These eight classes give an introduction to IMP, in a simple, accessible manner…see full details

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 New year releasing and inviting meditation

This meditation session is focused upon setting up the 2022 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2022

Read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday Dec 21st, 7.30-8.30pm – Free Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday January 28th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease creative imagery Enlightened Flow Insight Meditation Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation techniques mind body connection One Minute Mindfulness Presence and being present The Essential Meditation of the Buddha

Trees, birds & Octopuses – Achieving harmony by letting be

“If you imagine your body and breathing in the present moment are like a beautiful, strong tree. You could then think about the thoughts and distractions in your mind as like birds coming and going from your branches”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This article is a short reflection on the pre-conception that you have to let go of thoughts to be in harmony and balance during your meditation. If you enjoy the article then  do consider joining us live or online for the this weeks The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life, on Tuesday or Wednesday. The theme of the session will be on the experiential-self and mindful charisma.

Reminder of this Saturday morning’s  Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat where amongst other things boosting your liver and bone qi, as well as your energy of acceptance and equanimity

In the spirit of  harmony,

Toby

 

 

Trees, birds & Octopuses – Achieving harmony by letting be

You don’t have to clear your mind to be in meditation

This article is a short reflection on the pre-conception that you have to let go of thoughts to be in harmony and balance during your meditation. If you think about meditation as being the space between being lost in thought and being asleep, then you can see that it is possible to be in the presence of thoughts, but not lost in them, and thereby be in a state of meditation.

In order to not get lost in thoughts that come up inside, or distractions that come from outside, we simply need to let them be, to accept them as they are without indulging in them or trying too hard to get rid of them.

Birds in the garden

If you think about your field of awareness as a garden, and let’s say you are sitting on a bench there. There are birds coming and going as you sit and watch, and you just let them do that. This is like the thoughts and feelings that come and go in your mind in meditation; simply sit on the bench and let them come and go like birds.

Be the tree, let the birds come and go

A variation on the above image, if you imagine your body and breathing in the present moment are like a beautiful, strong tree. You could then think about the thoughts and distractions in your mind as like birds coming and going from your branches. Here you focus on being the tree and branches, not the birds. You simply let the birds be, and by doing so you allow your body, mind and heart to harmonize in meditation without any special effort to clear your mind. Your mind may clear as a result of this exercise, but you don’t need it to in order to experience a sense of harmony.

Be the octopus, your legs moving around your centre

If you watch an octopus moving across the ocean floor, you will see it moves gracefully around the body, which is at the centre of the movement. Its eight legs can be doing quite complicated things and going in different directions, but they all move around the central hub of the body. I find this quite a useful ‘active meditation’ image for remaining in harmony whilst busy in daily life. As you physically move, speak, think and interact in the world, you are trying to keep your basic sense of centre in the present moment, like an octopus moving across the ocean floor. You can be busy and doing a lot of things, but it all flows around a centre, and so there is a sense of harmony amidst the busyness and chaos.

So, there you go, in meditation let be and move into harmony by being the tree and not the birds, and in daily life make like an octopus!

Related article: Cloud-watching: Primarily present, secondarily thinking

 

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention…read full details

 

Saturday December 17th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation.

In this mini-retreat and clinic: Toby will lead a series of practices over two hours.

  • The first hour will focus on yang/dynamic movement and breathing forms for creating energy and removing blockages.
  • The second hour focuses more upon gentler, yin forms designed to increase harmony in the body-mind, stimulating physical recovery and inner peace

Read full details…

 


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Saturday December 17th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Wednesday Dec 21st, 7.30-8.30pm – Free Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

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The experiential self: Meditation, vividness & charisma

“Genuine charisma is a natural extension of being grounded in experience. It’s a side effect of you really being here, it doesn’t take a huge effort. A quality closely related to it is what I call your natural dignity. It’s what happens when you relax into your fundamental nature and don’t overthink yourself”

 

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores what I often call the ‘experiential self’ connecting to which is one of the main goals of meditation. If you enjoy the article then  do consider joining us live or online for the this weeks  The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life, on Tuesday or Wednesday. The theme of the session will be on the experiential-self and mindful charisma.

And reminder of this Saturday mornings Zen deep-dive mini-retreat where, amongst other things we shall be meditating on Signlessness – Meeting your reality as it is.

In the spirit of vividness of experience,

 

Toby

 

 

The experiential self: Meditation, vividness & charisma

Meditation

How do you get into a state of meditation? From one point of view, very simple. Basic meditative presence is the space that lies between being lost in thought and asleep, or unconscious. If you can ground your attention in the present moment, for example by focusing on the breathing and body, then there you are. In the present, not lost in thought, not asleep; meditation!

The experiential self & conceptual self

One of the main focuses for me with meditation is to bring us back to the experiential self. When we are lost in thought, our primary experience of self is conceptual, the self is living in the world of concepts. In meditation we come back to our experience of reality in the moment; we experience ourself viscerally and vividly, directly, non-conceptually – We are really alive to our self and life now.

For many of us we are often and mainly lost in our conceptual self, and as a result we experience life indirectly, secondarily through thought. Meditation is designed to fix this imbalance so that we are primarily experiencing and secondarily thinking.

If you think about your experiential self as being like the hero/ine of your life, and the conceptual self as being like the heroes’ side-kick, for example Luke Skywalker and his little robot R2D2. We are trying to make sure that in our own life we don’t confuse our side-kick for our inner hero/ine!

Journeying into doing & being vividly

From our basic experience of the experiential-self we can go in two directions:

  • Deeper into states of being and presence
  • Actively into states of doing

From this we can see that meditation when understood correctly involves being-states and doing-states. We can sit still and be, or we can go into active or working meditation.

Whether you are doing or being, doing so with your experiential self-ensures that you do both vividly, viscerally in a way that is committed to really being alive

Charisma – Owning your space

Here’s the proposition: If you really get good at living in your experiential self, then you will discover your own personal charisma. We all have different personalities, so there are many ways of being charismatic. When you are really connected to the reality of yourself in the moment (not lost in a conceptual image of it) then you arrive in the moment in full colour, with confidence, with presence, with personality. Charisma is a natural extension of being grounded in experience. It’s a side effect of you really being here, it doesn’t take a huge effort. A quality closely related to it is what I call your natural dignity. It’s what happens when you relax into your fundamental nature and don’t overthink yourself

The Work (two types)

So then, from the experiential-self come two types of work:

  • The work of being and embodying in the moment – This is not the work of achieving something in the future, it is qualitative work, the work of making this moment as high-quality as possible
  • The work of doing – From the embodying self in the moment we can then launch ourself into meaningful projects where, with the assistance of the conceptual self, we are setting goals and working toward a future result. The main thing with this is that your ‘doing work’ is that you have identified the ‘deepest inclinations of your heart’ and follow that.

With the experiential self, you’re daily doing and being start to complement and harmonize with each other; busyness and peace, presence and doing, charisma and invisibility all weave themselves together into a vivid and fulfilling tapestry describing the journey of your life.

There is a lot more to this of course, but finishing with a short story from Anthony De Mello:

CHARISM(A)

The disciple was a Jew. “What good work shall I do to be acceptable to God?”

“How should I know?” said the Master. “Your Bible says that Abraham practised

hospitality and God was with him. Elias loved to pray and God was with him. David

ruled a kingdom and God was with him too.”

“Is there some way I can find my own allotted work?”

“Yes. Search for the deepest inclination of your heart and follow it.”

Related article: Your body of presence (Sitting sumo-style)

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention…read full details

Saturday December 10th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Session overview: These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart.. read full details

Saturday December 17th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation.

In this mini-retreat and clinic: Toby will lead a series of practices over two hours.

  • The first hour will focus on yang/dynamic movement and breathing forms for creating energy and removing blockages.
  • The second hour focuses more upon gentler, yin forms designed to increase harmony in the body-mind, stimulating physical recovery and inner peace

 


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Saturday December 10th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Saturday December 17th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Wednesday Dec 21st, 7.30-8.30pm – Free Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology