Author: Toby

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Concentration creative imagery Energy Meditation Meditation techniques Mindful Breathing Mindful Resilience

Meditating like a sponge (Cultivating singularity)

“Any activity that takes us from a state of diversity, distraction and fragmentation to a state of unity, or singularity is meditation”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What is meditation? How do you become a real meditator in the real sense of the word? How can you start to build ‘super-normal’ capacities on an inner level, at the same time as connecting to genuinely stable peace? The article below has a look at some aspects of this, and offers a simple practice.

And heads up for next weeks Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation on Tuesday and Wednesday evening.

In the spirit of depth-in-health,

Toby

Meditating like a sponge (Cultivating singularity)

Meditation is the movement from diversity to singularity
There are lots of different types of meditation, but one useful definition of it is that it is “Any activity that takes us from a state of diversity, distraction and fragmentation to a state of unity, or singularity”.
Usually during the day, from the time we wake up, our mind moves outwards towards the world, exploring, thinking about, wanting and so on. Our attention gets broken up and fragmented into little pieces; a bit is over here, a bit is over there, another part is stuck somewhere else. For many people this condition becomes chronic; their mind is always active, always distracted, never still, never unified or resting. A meditative activity is one that reverses this flow; the mind and attention move inwards toward our centre, our energy gathers increasingly in one place, we start to experience ourself as whole, single and unified.
For some people, some activities are almost ‘meditation by accident’; the runner who gets hypnotized by the rhythm of her strides, the painter who absorbs into his brush-strokes, the cook absorbed in her ingredients.

The unified or integrated body-mind
Someone who is a meditator is one who consciously and deliberately engages in practices that move them from a state of distraction to a state of unity and singularity. They practice gathering their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energy into a single place and holding it there. This in turn starts to give rise, gradually and incrementally (though sometimes in sudden spurts) to super-normal capacities:

  • Stronger than usual capacity for focus and intentionality
  • Deeper perception and the ability to see and understand subtle objects and dimensions of experiential reality
  • The capacity to use consciousness as a tool for healing
  • The integration of the body, mind heart and spirit into a unified ‘super-organism’ or family unit

Meditating like a sponge
One simple breathing and visualization method that I have evolved and use to move quickly and easily into a relatively unified state is one I call “Meditating like a sponge”. To do this you simply:

  • Sit or stand or lie comfortably. Imagine that your body is like a dry sponge, and all of your mental, emotional and spiritual energy is like water
  • As you breathe in, strongly imagine all of your energy being absorbed into your body, like water being absorbed by a sponge. As you breathe out, feel your body, mind and emotions to be increasingly unified in this moment, absorbed into your body
  • Repeat the breathing pattern for a chosen period of time, occasionally pausing the visualization to simply experience the increased state of unity. Gradually get to know and experience what it is like to experience yourself as a unity or singularity, as opposed to a distracted mess!

This is a simple technique, but it contains within it the basic elements needed to start playing with and experiencing meditation. It’s also a technique that can grow with you. As the subtlety and power of your meditation practice develops, this method can evolve in depth as you do.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com

Saturday December 19th, 2.30-5pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat

These 2.5 hour meditation ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques, Toby will guide you into deep meditation flow states that…read full details

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

About the class: The Winter Solstice is deepest point of Winter in the northern hemisphere, the point of maximum outer darkness & the shortest day.

In Celtic the name of the winter solstice in ‘Alban Arthan’ of ‘The Light of Arthur’. In this case Arthur refers to the Sun God who, at this time of maximum darkness in the year dies and is reborn in the world of nature and within ourselves…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty

Tues & Weds 15th, 16th  December, 7.30-8.30pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

Saturday December 19th, 2.30-5pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Tues 29th & Weds 30th Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Biographical Energy Meditation Enlightened service Integral Awareness Life-fullness mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

Giving back anxiety that is not yours

“Owning and dealing with your anxiety well is an important life skill, However, sometimes the anxiety we experience is not entirely our own, and the solution to it is to recognize this and sometimes simply to give it back.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What’s the boundary between what you feel, and the feelings of those around you, and in your environment? This weeks article looks at this boundary, and how to become clearer and more aware about it.

If you enjoy the article, then you may consider this Saturday’s Mindfulness Masterclass  3-5pm Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty. If your interested in how to really put your anxiety to good positive use, then this is a great session to attend, you can come live or online!

In the spirit of mindful inoculation,

Toby

Giving back anxiety that is not yours

Owning and dealing with your anxiety well is an important life skill. There are often uncertainties and other causes that stimulate anxiety in our life, so knowing how to navigate this is fundamental. However, sometimes the anxiety we experience is not entirely our own, and the solution to it is to recognize this and sometimes simply to ‘give it back’.

A story
When I first started teaching meditation classes, first as a young layperson, then as a monk I would teach classes in the evening and then return back home. Often, I noticed that when I lay down to sleep that night, my body would feel uncomfortable, I would toss and turn, and I’d be having all sorts of difficult and strange trains of thought. I would have difficulty falling asleep, and often I would wake up in the middle of the night and continue to have difficult and anxious trains of thought, along with uncomfortable body sensations. At first I interpreted these as being all my own, and struggled manfully to resolve the trains of thought and emotions that were coming up. After a while however I started to recognize that actually, because I had been holding space for others in the class, I had absorbed emotional energy from the group, and what I was experiencing was actually empathic emotion and anxiety, that was not actually mine. After realizing this, I changed my strategy, recognizing and letting go of the anxiety that was not mine, and focusing on clearing out the dissonant energy from my body. Now when I do a class or coaching, noticing and releasing anxiety and energy that is not mine is mostly instinctive, but it is nevertheless vital for me to make the recognition when it occurs and is happening to me.

A few examples of when you might need to give back the anxiety

  • If your partner, close friend or family member is anxious or moody about something, and you ‘catch’ a bit of it
  • Certain atmospheres, anxieties and emotion in the office, or in your work team
  • Certain places or neighbourhoods that carry a particular dissonant energy
  • When there is large scale anxiety, such as in the recent Covid crisis, the group  anxiety amplifies and feeds off our own, and they strengthen each other
  • When someone has a type of anxiety that strongly resembles your own, and your identification with it means you absorb some empathically

In all of these cases, the anxiety is not ‘yours’ per-se, but it can infect you if you let it. The main thing to do here is to recognize that and either ‘hand it back’ so to speak, or observe it and release it from your own energy system.

You can apply this to other emotions and states
Of course, this doesn’t just apply to anxiety, it applies to many other emotional states, anger, fear, sadness. It also applies to positive emotions and states. We all have experience of being positively affected by an atmosphere, or a person or a place. When this happens, we can enjoy participating in it, rather than handing it back!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com

 

Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty (Live & Online)

Anxiety is a natural response to uncertainty and change, but for many of us the experience of anxiety is disturbing, upsetting, draining and stressful. This session focuses on practical ways to change your relationship to anxiety by:

  • Accepting and working with your causes of anxiety
  • Building greater awareness and appreciation of the things that give you stability and security in life
  • Learning to think effectively and wisely around uncertainties and problems that are causing you anxiety

Read full details

Tues & Weds 15th, 16th  December, 7.30-8.30pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

This session consists of :

  • An opening section attuning to the new moon energy, and return to our ‘beginners mind’ a state of ‘new beginnings’
  • A visualization section where we connect to positive imagery related to our own health, and the health of others in our life
  • An envisioning section where we seek spontaneous images and inspiration related to healing
  • A consolidation section where we focus on building the power and energy of our images, allowing them to energize and affect our health and healing the greatest degree possible

Read full details

Saturday December 19th, 2.30-5pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat

These 2.5 hour meditation ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques, Toby will guide you into deep meditation flow states that…read full details

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

About the class: The Winter Solstice is deepest point of Winter in the northern hemisphere, the point of maximum outer darkness & the shortest day.

In Celtic the name of the winter solstice in ‘Alban Arthan’ of ‘The Light of Arthur’. In this case Arthur refers to the Sun God who, at this time of maximum darkness in the year dies and is reborn in the world of nature and within ourselves…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty

Tues & Weds 15th, 16th  December, 7.30-8.30pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

Saturday December 19th, 2.30-5pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Tues 29th & Weds 30th Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Self-Leadership Primal Spirituality

Working mindfully with your subconscious mind

“As the conscious mind you are trying to connect to your subconscious mind with a sense of care and warmth, inviting co-operation and teamwork”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks at how you can start using mindfulness to work with your subconscious mind, enjoy!
Beneath the article is the full line up for classes and workshops for December, there is a lot of variety to choose from!
This  weeks Tuesday and Wednesday meditation 1st & 2nd December are the Monthly full moon manifestation meditations, you are all welcome, live or online.

In the spirit of the subconscious,

Toby

Working mindfully with your subconscious mind

Mindfulness – Strengthening the executive function of the conscious mind
Mindfulness is essentially attention and awareness training. As such it involves primarily strengthening the executive power of your conscious mind to direct your attention to create desired experiences and make better choices. Implicitly, part of mindfulness involves becoming aware of and working with our subconscious mind and its functions. This is where mindfulness backs onto the arena of disciplines like hypnosis, which specializes in working with the subconscious. My shadow meditation method and coaching is also an example of working directly with elements of the subconscious mind. Since our subconscious plays such a powerful part in creating our life experience, its well worth developing our proficiency in working with it.

Horse and rider – Creating a benevolent, co-operative relationship between your conscious and subconscious minds
Your subconscious mind is a repository of your instincts, biology, habits, and past experiences. As such its energy is a lot ‘stronger’ than the conscious mind. If you try and dominate your subconscious by sheer force of will, you are only going to get so far. One simple image is that of a horse and rider. The conscious mind is the rider, the SCM is like the horse. The horse is much stronger than the rider, but if the rider can tame the horse and establish a co-operative relationship, then the power of the horse becomes at the service of the rider.

An attitude of care and warmth – Establishing trust
So if you are going to work with your SCM, it needs to trust you, and your intention toward it (like a horse with someone who wishes to ride it). As the conscious mind then, you are trying to connect to your SCM with a sense of care and warmth, inviting co-operation and teamwork.

Intention, instruction, direction
With this attitude of benevolence and trust established, you can then practice feeding your SCM intentions, auto-suggestions images and directives according to what you want it to do for and with you. There are a larger number of ways to do this, for example:

  • You can create an inner place or landscape where you can sit and invite your SCM to release repressed or unacknowledged emotions for healing
  • You can suggest to it ways of seeing the world that are in alignment with your life goals
  • You can program it to react to certain scenarios in a particular way when it comes up in real time

One point to realize is that you are making suggestions signalling to your subconscious mind all the time anyway. Most of the time this is habitual and unconscious. If we can start doing it consciously and deliberately, then it can change our experience for the better.

A simple example
Right now from around 11.30pm-5am every night, I am in charge of feeding and caring for our baby. That is a clear instruction to my subconscious mind. As a result I am very sensitive to our babies sound and movement. As soon as anything starts to happen, I wake up, get up and attend to her. After 5am its my wife’s turn, and again that is a clear message to my subconscious mind. As a result the baby is crying and making a ruckus, if it is after 5am, generally I sleep right through it, even if she is right on the bed next to me. My SCM has knows it doesn’t need to alert me when the baby cries, so I sleep!
That’s a small example of the power your SCM has to create and define your experience.

What ways can you start mindfully working with your subconscious mind today?

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com

Tuesday & Wednesday 1st & 2nd Dec @ 7.30-8.30pm – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

We all live our life within an environment that consists fundamentally/experientially of the Earth, Moon, Sun and Stars. The monthly lunar cycle describes our relationship to the Moon, and the powerful influence that it has on our life. In the physical world we see this influence most obviously in the tides of the sea. In our inner life we experience it as the coming and going of energy, moods and emotions within our psyche. This meditation, done on or around the full moon capitalises on the heightened lunar energies at this time of the month. Read full details

Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty

Anxiety is a natural response to uncertainty and change, but for many of us the experience of anxiety is disturbing, upsetting, draining and stressful. This session focuses on practical ways to change your relationship to anxiety by:

  • Accepting and working with your causes of anxiety
  • Building greater awareness and appreciation of the things that give you stability and security in life
  • Learning to think effectively and wisely around uncertainties and problems that are causing you anxiety

Read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

 

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday & Wednesday 1st & 2nd Dec @ 7.30-8.30pm – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty

Tues & Weds 15th, 16th  December, 7.30-8.30pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

Saturday December 19th, 2.30-5pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Tues 29th & Weds 30th Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Categories
Awareness and insight creative imagery Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Inner vision Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Shadow meditation

Your bright shadow – The one who can do what you can’t

“The sum total of all the hidden strengths that you have within yourself but are in denial around is sometimes called the ‘bright shadow’.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores a topic that has been very present and important in my own practice for a good while now, the bright shadow. Some parts require careful reading, but I believe you’ll find it worth it if you do!
Next Saturday the 21st November I’ll be facilitating the Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self. If you enjoy the article, do feel free to participate!

This weeks Tuesday and Wednesday meditation is on the story of your breathing.

In the bright & luminous,

Toby

Your bright shadow – The one who can do what you can’t

Your shadow is
A good working definition of our shadow self is: “All the parts of our personality and self that are unacceptable to our self-image”. Because these parts of ourself are unacceptable to our idea of who we think we are, most people repress and deny them psychologically, hence they get pushed into the ‘shadows’ of our unconscious mind. From their position in the unconscious, our shadow then tries to push its agenda from, without the awareness of the conscious mind.

Its not just your dark shadow that is unacceptable
A lot of the conversation about the shadow is about the so called ‘dark’ side of it. We repress violent parts of ourself, sometimes sexual elements, aspects of power, domination and a range of other destructive emotions. The specifics of course varies from person to person, as we all have a different self image.
But it is not just the so perceived ‘negative’ qualities that we repress. There are many strengths and ‘bright’ qualities that we also repress for the same simple reason: They are not part of who we think we are and what we think we are capable of, so we don’t identify with them, even though they are present within us. The sum total of all these hidden strengths within ourelf is sometimes called the ‘bright shadow’.

The bright shadow as an already present part of you
In the last couple of years the way in which I have been working with my own bright shadow is imagining it as an already complete and capable part of myself that I connect to in visualization, and then begin to imagine myself AS. This is a bit like Tantric meditation, where you accelerate the speed at which you achieve the results by imagining strongly that you have already achieved it!

A few examples
Here are a few aspects of my bright shadow that I have been working with in the last 12 months:

  • The bright part of me that is strong and confident in the face of uncertainty, and the twists and turns of fortune
  • The bright part of me that is happy being somewhat vulnerable and afraid, enjoying it and not having to hide behind so much ‘surface level’ manly strength
  • This week I wasn’t feeling well physically, as had to rest. I connected to that part of my bright shadow whose sense of confidence was not connected to physical well-being, and can navigate these few days relatively easily and happily despite the discomfort.

The basic method
In each of these examples the process is basically the same, I visualize my bright shadow, imagining him as already present whole and complete. I then study and relate to him. When ready I imagine myself AS him, living and experiencing this moment as if I fully possess his qualities and capacities.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  

Saturday 21st November 2.30-5.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

The RESULTS that you can expect to gain from engaging in this workshop are:

  • The ability to self-heal parts of your psyche that are in pain and in need care and attention
  • A greater feeling of overall wholeness and wellbeing
  • More physical, mental and spiritual energy in your daily life
  • Deeper self-understanding, reduced fear and greater emotional freedom
  • Greater harmony and success in your relationships with other people (because you no longer project your shadow onto them)
  • Full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in November:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 21st November 2.30-5.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Biographical creative imagery Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindfulness

Liberation from your roles & labels – Three examples

“The essential art of mindfully liberating ourself from our roles and names is to recognizing a role, name or label that we identify with closely, Learn to “drop” or dis-identify ourself from that role and then to then pick up and play the role with freedom in a newly interpreted and useful way”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Quite a lot of the coaching and corporate work I do these days involves playing mindfully with roles, names and labels. In the article below I outline the process and give three practical examples, so you can start playing the game in your own life!
Saturday 3-5pm I’ll be facilitating the Mindfulness masterclass: Liberation & creativity through the observer self (Finding freedom in your roles) , if you enjoy the article, then do feel free to join us, either in person or online!

Last call for the annual meditation on our own inner light in the run up to Deepavali this Tuesday and Wednesday evening.
And finally, this Sunday there is the New moon health visualization and envisioning session

In the spirit if mindful creativity,

Toby

Liberation from your roles & labels – Three examples

Much of the structure of our ego and self-concept basically revolves around names, roles and labels that we have become familiar with and identify with closely

  • “I am the troubleshooter in my business team”
  • “I am the arty child in the family”
  • “I am a victim because of this or that event”
  • “My value is that I am an academically qualified doctor”

These roles and labels give us some security in the sense of having an identity, but they also limit us and prevent us from growing. The essential art of mindfully liberating ourself from our roles and names is:

  1. Recognizing a role, name or label that we identify with closely
  2. Learning to “drop” or dis-identify ourself from that role, to separate our identity from it
  3. To then pick up and play the role with freedom in a newly interpreted and useful way
  4. To try out other roles and labels that are different from or opposite from the original, and integrate them into our ‘identity repetoire’

Three examples:

The inner critic becomes the intelligent critical thinker
In a corporate training last week I led on “Aspiring to excellence whilst dancing with imperfection”, we spent some of the time recognizing the ‘negative perfectionist‘ that many high performers identify with. We put that role down, and then after a while picked it up again and re-interpreted it as the ‘good quality critical thinker‘ that is constructive and helpful with regard to producing great work. We also began to play with the role of the ‘Non-judgmental self‘ as a complementary contrast.

The invulnerable one one becomes the vulnerable one
For a long time I was quite identified with ‘the invulnerable one‘ or the one who feels no fear. In a workshop on emotions about 2 years ago I focused on putting down that label and allowing myself to feel fear and venerability. By doing so I was able to start playing with and integrating the positive expression of ‘the vulnerable self‘ into my personality and daily actions. The ‘invulnerable one’ remains available to me, but I am no longer compulsively identified with it, I can pick it up or put it down as I wish.

The messy one and the one in control
With the recent addition of my baby daughter Liv to the family, I found myself struggling as the one who wanted things to be ‘ordered and in control‘. As life is naturally quite messy when you have a baby, I practiced putting down the ‘ordered’ label and playing with an ‘I’m happy for things to be messy’ label. As a result, I was able to relax into the chaos more and enjoy the process! That doesn’t mean I no longer play the ‘ordered one’ or the ‘one in control’, it just means I play it when its useful and appropriate, not unconsciously and inappropriately.

Enjoy playing with your roles, names and labels with creativity and freedom!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  

Saturday 14th November, 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Liberation & creativity through the observer self (Finding freedom in your roles)

Learn how you can use mindfulness to find liberation from and creative freedom within the roles, names and labels you identify with in your life
Almost all of our lives are spent playing out different roles, names and labels that we have become identified with over the course of time. These roles and labels define our sense of who we are and, to a large extent what we believe is possible for us…
Full details

 

Tues 10th, Weds 11th November, 7.30-8.30pm – Deepavali Meditation – Connecting to your inner light

In this session we will be taking some time to:

  • Connect to our own ‘inner light’ in meditation, as a way of conquering the ‘darkness’ of our own inner confusion and fear
  • Sharing our inner light with our own personal circle of influence, and with the world
  • Taking our inner world journey to meet our own inner world guides who will offer us the light of their guidance at this time in our personal journey

Full details

Sunday 15th November, 6-7pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

About the session: This class is done monthly around the turn of the new moon and enable us to open to new beginnings, new possibilities and make a fresh start, specifically with regard to physical health and psychological wellbeing
Full details

 

Saturday 21st November 2.30-5.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

The RESULTS that you can expect to gain from engaging in this workshop are:

  • The ability to self-heal parts of your psyche that are in pain and in need care and attention
  • A greater feeling of overall wholeness and wellbeing
  • More physical, mental and spiritual energy in your daily life
  • Deeper self-understanding, reduced fear and greater emotional freedom
  • Greater harmony and success inyour relationships with other people (because you no longer project your shadow onto them)
  • Full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

 

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in November:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tues 10th, Weds 11th November, 7.30-8.30pm – Deepavali Meditation – Connecting to your inner light

Saturday 14th November, 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Liberation & creativity through the observer self (Finding freedom in your roles)

Sunday 15th November, 6-7pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

Saturday 21st November 2.30-5.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation Recordings Meditation techniques mind body connection

Two meditation recordings (& all events for November)

Dear Integral Meditators,

This newsletter has two free meditations for you, the first is a 15min meditation to help deal with overwhelm and cognitive overload  called the unsharpened blade. The second is a meditation on how to unify your body-mind by imagining that you meet your already-integrated self.
I have placed the related articles below, enjoy listening!

Beneath the articles are details of all meditation classes, workshops and sessions for November, starting with this Saturday’s Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session.

In the spirit of restoring & integrating,

Toby

Not over-sharpening your blade (the three ‘uns’)

‘Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.’ – Tao Te Ching chapter 9

The fear of being left out and left behind
It seems like there is a lot of pressure upon us these days not to ‘get left behind’ or ‘loose our edge’. In terms of work, in terms of parenting, in terms of our body, health and fitness, looks, education and being educated, pretty much everything. It’s all too easy to find ourself unconsciously running after goals in our life simply because of this fear, without even asking ourselves if it is really serving us to keep running in this way…read full article

Listen to meditation on the unsharpened blade

The First Task (and Achievement) of Meditation

The first task and result of a decent meditation practice is to create a unified body-mind. This means to become aware that our mind and body are in continuous relationship with each other. When we have a thought in our mind, this translates into a physical energy and posture in our body. For example when our body feels tired or refreshed this easily and often affects the dialog that we are having in our mind… read full article

Listen to meditation on imagining that you meet your already-integrated self

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in November:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 31st October @ 7-8pm – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Tues 10th, Weds 11th November, 7.30-8.30pm – Deepavali Meditation – Connecting to your inner light

Saturday 14th November, 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Liberation & creativity through the observer self (Finding freedom in your roles)

Sunday 15th November, 6-7pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

Saturday 21st November 2.30-5.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Motivation and scope Primal Spirituality Videos

Black & white meditation (+Samhain +Full moon)

“Where initially we thought there was just a dark, dull space, we discover a bright, clarifying, regenerative inner space that we can go to each day to center and rebuild our inner strength”

Dear Integral Meditators,

My daughter tried out meditation a couple of weeks ago, my article below is a response to some of her initial observations and experiences. The implications are both practical and useful for all of us I believe!
Next weeks  Tuesday and Wednesday (live and online) meditation sessions will be the  Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors, and then if you fancy a Saturday meditation there will be the Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

You can also click on the link at the end of the article to watch my 1minute black & white meditation video on the same subject!

Toby

Black & White Meditation – From dark to bright
Recently my daughter Sasha decided to take up meditation, not because of me, but because she felt like it! Her initial observation was this “Dad, at first when I closed my eyes it felt dark and confusing. But I waited and then after a while it all went white, and I started to feel clear and refreshed”. Her observation and experience is simple but fundamental, and it explains a lot about why it is worthwhile taking up meditation; where initially we thought there was just a dark, dull space, we discover a bright, clarifying, regenerative inner space that we can go to each day to center and rebuild our inner strength.The quiet space behind/beneath the noise
What Sasha discovered is that, lying just beneath the surface of our ”noisy” everyday mind is a level of consciousness that is naturally relaxing, quiet and bright. Two more images that express it in a slightly different way are:

  • The water beneath the waves – On the surface of the ocean the waves are noisy and active, if you dive beneath them to a few meters down, the atmosphere becomes still, spacious and clear
  • The space in the room – Normally when we walk into a room, our attention is taken by the objects in the room; the people, the furniture, pictures and so on, the room appears active and crowded. If instead we pay attention to the open spaces in the room, we experience the room very differently, as something full of space and calm.

Black & white meditation & enlightenment
In the Tibetan Buddhist tradition that I was originally trained in the deeper level of enlightenment realization was called ‘the mind of clear light’, because it resembles the clear light of dawn before the sun has risen. Preceding the mind of clear light is ‘the mind of black near attainment’ which is essentially like a pitch black night. So, on these deeper  levels of meditation, our experience also goes from ‘black to white’! So my daughters experience is quite a typical beginners experience that mimics an advanced one.
So, if you sit patiently and watch your mind for a few minutes each day, you can start to have this experience too. In the short term it will be relaxing, regenerative and clarifying. In the long term it is the beginning of your path to the the more profound levels of ‘white space’, ‘living emptiness’ or ‘clear light’ that has been enjoyed by advanced meditators for millenia.

Watch my 1minute black & white video on black & white meditation!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  

Tuesday 27th & Weds 28th October, 7.30-8.30pm – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

This time of year is an ideal time for us to commune with our ancestors in meditation. In this meditation, we shall focus upon:

  • Strengthening the love & appreciation we have for our family & ancestral heritage
  • Acknowledging and releasing the burdens of our ancestors, & of our personal ancestral heritage
  • Connecting to & receiving the gifts from our ancestors & genetic heritage
  • Receiving support & insight for our future hopes and aspirations from our ‘spiritual ancestors’ or soul family.

Read full details

Saturday 31st October @ 7-8pm – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

This meditation, done on or around the full moon capitalises on the heightened lunar energies at this time of the month to:

  • Bring energy and health to our physical body
  • Increase benevolent, life affirming emotions such as appreciation, joy and gratitude
  • Release patterns of energy, thinking and feeling that are no longer serving us
  • Focus on clarifying our intentions and manifesting our current life-goals

Read full details

Starts Saturday November 7th – High-Performance Mindfulness Bootcamp – Combining sustainable high-performance with personal wellbeing

In a sentence: Learn how to create sustainable high performance in your work, and increase your personal wellbeing through mindfulness practice:

  • Thrive rather than survive under pressure
  • Develop and sustain higher energy levels
  • Improve your learning mindset as you face the challenges of work and life

Full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

Online Integral Meditation & Mindfulness classes

Build focus, beat stress, cultivate wellbeing!

Each session involves simple practices that you can apply to make a real difference to your wellbeing and effectiveness in life…full details of classes

 

At a glance: All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 27th & Weds 28th October, 7.30-8.30pm – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Saturday 31st October @ 7-8pm – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Starts Saturday November 7th – High-Performance Mindfulness Bootcamp – Combining sustainable high-performance with personal wellbeing

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

Too much information! – Dealing mindfully with cognitive overload

“Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.” – Lao Tsu

Dear Integral Meditators,

In the article below I outline a few practical ways to deal with cognitive overload, which is an almost ever present challenge in the information age!

 

In the spirit of mindful intelligence,

Toby

 

 

Too much information! – Dealing mindfully with cognitive overload

“Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.” – Lao Tsu

In the Information Age we are all cognitively overloaded
‘Cognitive load’ is the term used to describe basically how much information and decisions our mind and brain can cope with before becoming ineffective. If we are trying to process too much information and thinking, then we become ‘cognitively overloaded’ leading to mental exhaustion, bad decisions and mental fog. Because we live in the Information Age, and are very addicted to our online devices, cognitive overload is a huge issue that most of us suffer from in one way or the other. Learning to deal with it effectively is a primary mindfulness skill.

Mental exhaustion is different from physical exhaustion
Cognitive overload is different from feeling physically exhausted. It’s important to make this distinction, because the way in which you recover from mental fatigue is different from physical fatigue. It’s a matter of resting your mind, rather than your body!

Cognitively overloaded people make bad choices
It’s important not to spend too much time in cognitive overload, because in such a state we tend to make bad choices, simply because we are not processing the information effectively. To make good choices you need to have your full intelligence available to you. When your mind is overloaded, your intelligence always goes down.

You need to take charge of the information streams in your life
Because of our mobile phones and the internet, infinite information is available to us all the time. It’s super easy to get overloaded, in part because of this. So, choosing your information carefully, and spending time deliberately not processing mental information is key.

Recovering from cognitive overload through non-thinking 
A simple mindful recovery practice is to set aside time in the day to do nothing. Give yourself permission to stop processing mental information, mentally planning and fixing things. At first this can feel very unnatural, but once you get used to it, it becomes a space that you can drop into easily without a problem.

Fishing without a hook 
Imagine you are by a beautiful lake or river, perhaps one that you know. You have a fishing rod, and you cast the line into the water. The line has no hook at the end (it might have a bit of food for the fish if you want!). You are fishing not to catch anything, but in order simply to drop into a space of relaxed non-thinking. You can stand or sit by the side of the water, looking at the line, enjoying the beauty of your surroundings and doing nothing, thinking about nothing. Let your body, mind and heart relax into this state of presence and let your brain recover from cognitive overload and regain its strength and vigour.

Related article: Not over-sharpening your blade
Making friends with overwhelm

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  

Saturday 17th October, 6-7pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

This class is done monthly around the turn of the new moon and enable us to open to new beginnings, new possibilities and make a fresh start, specifically with regard to physical health and psychological wellbeing. 
Full details

Saturday 24th October, 2.30-5.30pm – Mediation for surviving and thriving in the information age

Learn a series of meditation practices specifically designed to help you cope and thrive in an age of overwhelm, fast change, infinite choice, information overload and uncertainty.

This is a workshop that teaches you specific meditation practices to manage stress, focus and remain calm amidst your complex daily life.
Read full details

 

Starts Saturday November 7th – High-Performance Mindfulness Bootcamp – Combining sustainable high-performance with personal wellbeing

In a sentence: Learn how to create sustainable high performance in your work, and increase your personal wellbeing through mindfulness practice:

  • Thrive rather than survive under pressure
  • Develop and sustain higher energy levels
  • Improve your learning mindset as you face the challenges of work and life

Full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

Online Integral Meditation & Mindfulness classes

Build focus, beat stress, cultivate wellbeing!

Each session involves simple practices that you can apply to make a real difference to your wellbeing and effectiveness in life…full details of classes

 

At a glance: All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 17th October, 6-7pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

Saturday 24th October, 2.30-5.30pm – Mediation for surviving and thriving in the information age

Tuesday 27th & Weds 28th October, 7.30-8.30pm – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Starts Saturday November 7th – High-Performance Mindfulness Bootcamp – Combining sustainable high-performance with personal wellbeing

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Concentration Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

Making friends with overwhelm

“Work on skilfully accepting in an empowered way the often ever-present feeling of  being overwhelmed by too much to do”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on the ever present sense of their being too much to do in our lives, and what we can do about it in mindfulness terms.

This weeks Tuesday and Wednesday (live and online) meditation sessions will be focused on the practices in this article, all are welcome to join!

In the spirit of confidently overwhelmed,

Toby

 

Making friends with overwhelm

In the Information Age there is always too much to do

Oliver Burkeman in his article “Eight secrets to a (fairly) fulfilled life” says:
‘There will always be too much to do – and this realisation is liberating. Today more than ever, there’s just no reason to assume any fit between the demands on your time – all the things you would like to do, or feel you ought to do – and the amount of time available. Thanks to capitalism, technology and human ambition, these demands keep increasing, while your capacities remain largely fixed. It follows that the attempt to “get on top of everything” is doomed. (Indeed, it’s worse than that – the more tasks you get done, the more you’ll generate.)’
The essential point here is that for those of us living in the Information Age, the sense of there being overwhelmed by things to do is a fundamental characteristic of our experience.

Uncertainty and events like Covid don’t help
When you place on top of this unexpected events like Covid, and all the change and uncertainty around this, the skill of being able to deal with that feeling of being overwhelmed comes at an even higher premium!

Accepting that there is too much to do skilfully enables us to manage it, and then enjoy overwhelm
So then the first mindful position here is to work on skilfully accepting in an empowered way the feeling of being overwhelmed by too much to do. If you can really get comfortable with the feeling, so that it is no longer intimidating, upsetting or disturbing to you, then its going to make your life a lot more pleasant and less stressful. Acceptance involves:

  • Consciously seeking out the feeling of being overwhelmed, locating it in the body
  • Breathing and relaxing into the feeling of it. Get comfortable with the discomfort, or as I mention in another article, sit down to tea with your overwhelm!
  • Noticing that the feeling often gives rise to the impulse to start thinking faster, planning and doing, gently resisting that impulse

Taking responsibility today
If your habit is to feel comfortable with overwhelm, then much of the anxiety and stress around it disappears, or at least reduces enough for you to simply focus on what you can do today, and for that to be good enough. This then tends to give rise to quiet satisfaction  and confidence; knowing that you made good and effective use of your time, even in the face of the chaos of a never-ending to-do list!

Trusting in something bigger helps
Another object of mindfulness that I find combines very well with acceptance and responsibility is a trust in something bigger. This involves, in any way you personally conceive it, getting in touch with a sense there is some kind of higher or deeper intelligence that is guiding you in your life. Amidst all the overwhelm and the multiple factors that are too numerous for your everyday mind to process, there is is a fore that is for you and guiding you in a benevolent manner. Trust and let yourself be held by this guiding force, you don’t need to control everything!

A simple meditation on this process might involve firstly getting in touch with your feeling of overwhelm and working on accepting it. Then focus trusting an intelligence bigger than yourself, relaxing into that sense of being held. Briefly at the end you might think of the time period immediately ahead of you, and take responsibility for it, planning what you are going to do. Then as you go about your actions, be mindful of both your acceptance and trust, using them to navigate your overwhelm effectively.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

Online Integral Meditation & Mindfulness classes

Build focus, beat stress, cultivate wellbeing!

Each session involves simple practices that you can apply to make a real difference to your wellbeing and effectiveness in life…full details of classes

 

At a glance: All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Friday 2nd  September @ 7.30-8.30pm – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Sunday 10th October, 3.30-5pm – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now (Live & Online) – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Tuesday 27th & Weds 28th October, 7.30-8.30pm – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Meditation and Psychology Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

What you think is not what you are

“You can become what you think, but you aren’t what you think”

Dear Integral Meditators,

There is a big difference between thinking something and doing something. Mindfulness in this area helps us to navigate difficult, stressful times more successfully. The article below explores how to start practicing mindfulness around this.

In the spirit of clarity,

Toby

 

 

What you think is not what you are

The mental act of thinking about something is not the same as having done that thing. If we go through a period where we think about a lot of negative things and negative actions, the feeling inside can be as if we have actually done those things. This leads to a vicious cycle whereby:

  1. We have a negative thought, for example about doing or saying something nasty to a family member.
  2. Even though we didn’t actually do it, we feel as if we have done it (because we thought it) and so we feel guilty
  3. Because we feel guilty our self with and self esteem goes down
  4. Because we feel worthless, we become prone to all sorts of other negative thoughts, so we feel more guilty and worthless
  5. And the cycle continues

Sometimes we end up feeling so bad about ourselves because of all the things that we have thought, that we then actually do something nasty, stupid or cruel (etc..) so it becomes an actual self-fulfilling prophecy.

What you think is not what you are, or what you have done!
So the key object of mindfulness is recognize that just because you thought it doesn’t mean you did it. So we break the above cycle at stage 2. We recognize that we don’t need to feel guilty for something that we have not actually done.
This then means that our self-esteem does not take a nose dive, which in turn makes it easier for us to relax a bit and do the actual work we need to do to dismantle the cycle of negative thinking and feeling that is going on on our mind.
You can become what you think, but you aren’t what you think.

© Toby Ouvry 2020, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

Online Integral Meditation & Mindfulness classes

Build focus, beat stress, cultivate wellbeing!

Each session involves simple practices that you can apply to make a real difference to your wellbeing and effectiveness in life…full details of classes

 

At a glance: All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology