Category: Inner vision

Categories
creative imagery Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Zen Meditation

Interiority – the cave of the heart

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article is kind of a sister article to last weeks on the cave and the market place. It focuses on the inner confidence that comes from learning how go within yourself competently.
If you enjoy the article then  do consider joining us live or online for the first of  The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life , on Tuesday or Wednesday.

In the spirit of interiority,

Toby

Interiority – the cave of the heart

INTERIORITY
The disciple asked for a word of wisdom.
Said the Master, “Go sit within your cell and your cell will teach you wisdom.”
‘But I have no cell. I am no monk.”
‘Of course you have a cell. Look within.”

The confidence of going within
One of the things that this (very) short story by Anthony De Mello speaks to is the confidence that comes from going within. As an ex-monk, and as someone who has sat and gone within a lot, I know that, even if my life-challenges seem insurmountable, if I can just sit quietly and really go within the cave of my heart, after a few minutes I will start feeling better as I rest in the stillness. After a little while longer I’ll start to hear and have ideas arising from within that give me new positive perspectives around the problems I’m having. This for me is what the Master means when he says: “Go sit within your cell and your cell will teach you wisdom.”

Committing to go within, listening compassionately and courageously
The challenge for many people is that they do not yet have the confidence that by really committing to going deep into the cave (or monastic cell) of their heart, they will discover many of the answers to their problems. In fact, the first thing that we have to face going within is a more direct awareness of our mental and emotional discomfort. This is the very discomfort that most people are running away from in life and or seeking to drown out!

The cave or cell your heart
So, when we commit to going within, a useful first set of positions to work with are:

  • To really commit to going within with courage and decisiveness
  • Rather than fearing the voices and emotions that we may find there, we can listen to them with a degree of compassion and understanding
  • We can go in there in the spirit of curiosity and with an open mind. What we find might be different from what we think

Stilling the voices in the cave
Once we have committed to going within, to discover the wisdom of our inner voice we need to cultivate and become comfortable with the ‘non-voice’ of silence. To do this it can be useful to work on three simple angles (see my previous article on the cave and the market place):
Stilling time – Letting go of past and future
Stilling space – Withdrawing your awareness from your immediate physical environment
Stilling movement – Stilling your body except for your breathing

Letting the silence of your cave show you wisdom
If you can get comfortable with the silence, then you are standing at the threshold of ‘the voice in the cave/cell of your heart that will teach you wisdom’. Sometimes it speaks as a voice, sometimes as the silence itself, sometimes as ideas and intuitions.
It can be useful for some people to actually imagine a cave or cell that they have been to, to give a bit of atmosphere to their inner cave (after a while you won’t need it, but it’s a great entry point). When I was a teenager, my family lived in Portugal at the foot of a big hill that ended at a beautiful beach on the Atlantic coast. On the top of the hill there was an ancient sacred site called the Santuário da Peninha where there were cells that, centuries ago the monks meditated and worshipped. In the cliffs by the beach at the bottom of the hill there was a lovely cave you could access from the sea. Sometimes I see myself sitting in one of those places at the beginning of the meditation. Perhaps you have an equivalent place that you know and can use at the beginning of your meditations?

Related reading: Inner sensitivity – Listening to yourself
Inner listening – Three levels of meditating on silence

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention…read full details

Saturday December 10th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Session overview: These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart.. read full details

 


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Saturday December 10th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Saturday December 17th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease creative imagery Inner vision Integral Meditation Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present Primal Spirituality Zen Meditation

The cave & the market place (Being in but not of the world)

“The cave & marketplace are two images to play with to get the feeling of how to really be in the inner world and really in the outer world, and to be able to do both properly. This way we can be in the world but not of the world, participating but not entangled”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores the movement into the ‘cave of our heart’ and then out again into the world. There are some distinctions in how to do this that are really important both for our peace of mind and for our high functioning in the world.
If you enjoy the article then  do consider joining us live or online for the first of  The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life , on Tuesday or Wednesday.
A final reminder for next Saturday’s Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat.

In the spirit of the cave & the marketplace,

Toby

The cave & the market place (Being in but not of the world)

During the day many people are caught in the middle ground between being either:

  • Fully deep within themselves and at peace
  • Fully in the world and committing to being present there

By the ‘middle ground between’ I basically mean being stuck in our heads, too anxious to be committing full bloodedly to the world of experience, but at the same time not fully detaching and relaxing into the silence within…we are neither in the world or out of the world, but rather stuck in the echo chamber of our own mind, talking to ourselves!

One of the things we are trying to do in integral meditation practice is to master the movement fully into the cave of our heart, and also the movement to fully out and into the world. We are trying to commit fully to a wholehearted interior experience of silence, and a full exterior experience of the world. We are not lost in between, in the fuzzy clouds of our mental miasma and abstract nervous thoughts.
This quote from Anthony De Mello captures it quite well:

DEPTH
Said the Master to the businessman; “As the fish perishes on dry land, so you perish
when you get entangled in the world. The fish must return to the water — you must
return to solitude.”
The businessman was aghast. “Must I give up my business and go into a monastery?”
“No. no. Hold on to your business and go into your heart.”

Two images for meditation:

1. The cave of your heart
Centre yourself within your physical heart-space. Imagine in there is a mountain, perhaps one you know. In the side of the mountain there is a cave, just right for sitting and meditating. See yourself sitting in this cave, going deep into your heart and sitting in silence. You can cultivate stillness and silence by:
Stilling time – Letting go of past and future
Stilling space – Withdrawing your awareness from your immediate physical environment
Stilling movement – Stilling your body except for your breathing
Commit to going deep inside and contacting the peace that lies there.

2. The marketplace of your life
Imagine in a valley beneath your cave is a town and a marketplace. See yourself emerging from your cave and waling down the mountain. Enjoy entering fully into the sights, sounds smells and activity of the marketplace; commit to being fully present in the world. When you are in the market place, really be there, be with the people, be with the ups and downs, be curious, courageous and caring. Imagine the market place transforms into your daily life circumstances now. Be fully there with whatever you are having to deal with. Don’t hide away in the abstraction of your mind, let it be vivid and real, don’t miss your life as it happens!
You can use these two images in meditation to play with the feeling of how to really be in the inner world and really in the outer world, and to be able to do both properly. This way we can be in the world but not of the world, participating but not entangled.

Just to finish, here is a quote from Dion Fortune that speaks to this in a different but complementary way. It will be of use once you get to the intermediate and advanced levels:
“No one is capable of the deepest meditation who cannot meditate in a railway station whilst waiting for his train. This involves two things, the power to go so deeply into meditation so as to be completely withdrawn from the physical environment, and the power to keep count of time and return at will.” *

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention…read full details

Saturday November 26th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat
In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details

 

 


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday November 12th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Saturday November 26th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Energy Meditation Enlightened love and loving Inner vision Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope

Cultivating your positive imperfectionist

“Even when inactive our positive imperfectionist is a benevolent and supportive feeling/atmosphere in our psyche, encouraging us to get stuck in to the activities that we feel motivated around and not to live in fear of trying”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores some ways to begin freeing yourself from the ‘negative perfectionist, with the help of a new friend, the ‘Positive Imperfectionist’. Quite a lot of my coaching work with people relates to this area. With your PI in place it becomes surprisingly possible to do difficult and very worthwhile things. I hope you enjoy it! If you do, then then this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday class will be focused on this subject. You are welcome to join us, live or online!

Next week sees the beginning of the final class series of the year: Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life , do check it out!

In the spirit of positive-imperfectionism,

Toby

Cultivating your positive imperfectionist

The prevalence of negative perfectionism
If you have been around any kind of inner-development circles; meditation groups, psychotherapy, coaching etc, one of the phenomena that you may have come across will be the ‘negative perfectionist’. This is a part of many people’s psyche that is obsessed with doing things ‘correctly’ or flawlessly. This part of us is also very inclined to judge us quickly and harshly for any perceived failures flaws of mistakes that we make in our life. There are different forms of uncomfortable and sometimes excruciating psychological pain that it subjects us to as it points out the stupidity of our actions, the inappropriate things that we said, the things we could and should have done better. Even when inactive, it lives within our awareness as an ever-present threat, causing us to live in fear and discouraging us from doing things that be ‘risky’, might go wrong or otherwise expose our imperfection and how generally inadequate we are (!)

Some of the narratives of the negative perfectionist:

  • If you can’t do it right first time you may as well give up
  • You are your actions, if you mess one or more up, you are an idiot
  • People around you are judging you just as harshly as I (the negative perfectionist) am judging you, look how stupid you are making us look!
  • You are guilty until proven innocent, I’m expecting you to mess this up somehow
  • Why do you always find something for me to dislike about you
  • Don’t expose yourself to risk, better to hide than to fail
  • No matter what you achieve, it will never be enough for me
  • You are neither likable nor competent
  • You are isolated and alone

Do any of these sound familiar?

Your positive imperfectionist
For most people then it is well worth cultivating your positive imperfectionist. This is the inner voice within you that is ok with messy and imperfect. It encourages incremental improvement. It urges us to keep going even if we are not very good at something to begin with. It is forgiving and light, and quick to point out progress or improvement we make. It sees the value in failure, and sees mistakes as learning opportunities. Even when inactive it is a benevolent and supportive feeling/atmosphere in our psyche, encouraging us to get stuck in to the activities that we feel motivated around

Working on the narratives of the positive imperfectionist

  • If at first you don’t succeed, try again, having learned from the last attempt
  • You are not your actions, your fundamental value is secure
  • You have friends and encouragers around you, listen to them, feel supported
  • You are innocent until proven guilty! You are accountable for your actions, but don’t think failing sometimes makes you weak!
  • I believe in you
  • Keep trying, no risk no reward
  • You are already enough, try and see how much more you become
  • You are likeable
  • You are not alone

Any one of this last set of sentences can be an object of meditation. Internalizing them one by one will help you recognize and consolidate the voice of your positive imperfectionist. What are you waiting for?

Related articles: Mindful Optimism

​© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Dates and titles:
Tues 23/Weds24th November, Class 1 – Everyday depth: being in the world but not of the world
Tues 6/Weds 7th November, Class 2 – Going within: The cave of the heart
Tues 13/Weds 14th June, Class 3 – The experiential self: Meditation, vividness, charisma, ego
Read full details…

Saturday November 26th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat
In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practice

Saturday November 12th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Saturday November 26th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Presence and being present

Inner listening – Three levels of meditating on silence

“The nice thing about the above meditation is also that it can be done without having to exert much effort; it’s all listening, accepting, opening to. It can be done when you are tired and want to relax, as well as when you want to sit down and really do some focused inner work”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores how you can access and enjoy silence progressively and without too much effort. It’s partly the subject of  this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class,  it’ll be a fun one, and your welcome to join is either live or online.

Beneath the article you an find full details of all classes and workshops for October, do have a browse, it’s a full line up!

In the spirit of  silence amongst the noise,

Toby

Inner listening – Three levels of meditating on silence

Cultivating silent presence is not by any means the only way to meditate, but nevertheless it is a super important dimension of meditation. It is also one that, once you can do it, helps all your other forms of meditation as well as being an end in itself. Here are three ways to meditate on silence, the first is a doorway to the second, and the second is a doorway to the third. For the first two there are two ways to do it; listening inwardly and listening outwardly. They can be combined or focused on separately in any given session, as you wish.

Listening and observing the non-silence
The first practice is to listen to the non-silence or the noise.
On the inner level – As you turn your attention inward, this means to notice your inner conversation, and all the other ‘noise’ that is going on inside your mind, just holding the position of the observer in that space. You don’t try and stop the thoughts, rather you simply listen and notice.
On the outer level – You simply listen to the sounds going on around you, noticing them, and letting them come and go. Like the inner level the key is simply listening and noticing, and letting that be your point of stability as the sounds come and go.

Listening and observing the silence
If you listen to your inner noise in the way described above, then after a while you will notice that it starts to die down a little. Listening inwardly, you will start to notice pockets of silence between the noise. When these start to happen, pay attention to them and start to drop into them, extending the duration of them a little. Over time you will start to have more silence than inner noise. Eventually you’ll start to experience extended periods where it is almost all silence, and you drop into deeper and deeper states of meditation.
On the outer level, you can choose to focus on the silences in between the noises. After a while you will start to notice that silence is all pervasive; even when there is noise, you realize that the noise is contained by silence; that silence is present even when there are sounds around.

Listening to the sound of silence     
Once you have some experience of stages one and two, you will have probably started to notice that, when you listen to silence, both inwardly and outwardly, there is a sound. It’s kind of like a high-pitched ringing in your inner ear. If you relax with it, you may find that it makes it easier to let go of discursive thoughts and move into a thoughtless condition. Listening to the sound of silence almost puts you in a trance-like state that is very conducive to meditation and moving into deeper, non-conceptual states of awareness. On this third level the inner and outer dimension of the listening pretty much merge into the same thing, as the sound seems both ‘inside’ and ‘outside’ at the same time.

The nice thing about the above meditation is also that it can be done without having to exert much effort; it’s all listening, accepting, opening to. It can be done when you are tired and want to relax, as well as when you want to sit down and really do some focused inner work!

Related articles:

Inner sensitivity – Listening to yourself

The way to silence

Meditating on the Sound of Silence

Four ways of working with your inner voice

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Sat & Sun 22nd/23rd October – Shamanic meditation workshop retreatLearn how to practice the fundamentals of the most ancient meditation tradition on the planet in a clear, practical and concise manner, and understand its relevance and value to you and the challenges that you face in your life.

The workshop will give an overview and introduce some simple but profound shamanic practices on day one, with a deeper dive into Shamanic meditation practices on day two…read full details

 

Saturday October  8th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Session overview: These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart.. read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tues 16th /Weds 17th August – An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practice

Saturday October  8th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Sat & Sun 22nd/23rd October – Shamanic meditation workshop retreat

Tues & Weds 25th/26th October, 7.30pm – Deepavali Meditation – Connecting to your inner light

Saturday October 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Tues 1st & Weds 2nd November, 7.30pm – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Concentration Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Inner vision Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Mindfulness, productivity, self-regulation & the 85% rule

“Mindfulness in its pure form is essentially enhanced reality orientation. It involves involves specific forms of attentional & awareness practices that are designed to release our natural intelligence & our potential for experiential learning in the moment“

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article essentially points out how mindfulness and productivity go together to help you enjoy your life and realize your goals, or to go from coping to thriving, I hope you enjoy it!

In the spirit of  enhanced reality orientation,

Toby

 

 

 

 

Mindfulness, productivity, self-regulation & the 85% rule

Basic reality orientation – Coping well enough to perform
In order to hold down a job, or maintain a harmonious social and family existence we all need a degree of mindfulness. We all need to be taking social cues, focusing on our work, and making appropriate adjustments well enough to do these things acceptably. Failure to meet our reality with this basic level of mindfulness would lead to:

  • Inability to hold down a job
  • Lack of stable relationships
  • Continuous instability within the family unit
  • Being considered unstable and even ‘insane’ by the conventional measures by which it is assessed in society

Enhanced reality orientation – Moving from coping to thriving
Mindfulness in its pure form is essentially enhanced reality orientation. It involves  specific forms of attentional & awareness practices that are designed to release our natural intelligence & our potential for experiential learning in the moment.

  • By paying attention in a high-quality manner to our work we can be more successful at it without necessarily working harder (aka working smarter)
  • In our leadership and relationship life we can create high functioning interactions that lead to great teams and stable friendships
  • We can learn to pick up on inner cues and signals from our body-mind, and learn to regulate our energy in a way where we feel well and thriving not just in the short term, but in the medium and long term.

With the students that attend my mindfulness sessions at INSEAD, one of the things that I am trying to teach them is how to arrive at 50years old (my age) from where they are (30+) in a way where they feel they have energy, enthusiasm and are ready to leap into the next life-project. This is as opposed to what they see in may of their seniors who are exhausted, stressed out and cynical. To do this they (and you!) need to self-regulate effectively. Below is a simple exercise around the 85% rule that is one example of this.

The 85% rule
This rule basically states that, if you are 85% exhausted, and then you stop and rest, your body-mind will recover reasonably fast and you can then continue where you left off. If you go substantially beyond the 85%, you move your energy levels move more and more ‘into the red’. Moving beyond 85% means that you really are exhausted, and it takes a much longer time to recover effectively from that type or level of exhaustion. So, in this practice the object of mindful self-regulation is to not go beyond 85% exhausted in any given activity in your work or life. By doing this you can actually become more productive in the medium to long term and in a way that is sustainable and enjoyable. The key here is:

  1. To know what the signs that you are approaching the 85% marker are
  2. To recognize and accept those signs
  3. To stop what you are doing and focus on the (enjoyable) discipline of recovery
  4. Recognizing the signs of recovery, and getting back to it with enthusiasm!

If you can do this then this simple way of orienting yourself mindfully around the reality of your energy levels gives you one of the keys to mindful thriving and productivity.
What are your own personal inner signs for points 1-4 above? How can you start orienting yourself around these signs mindfully today and begin plotting your own path of mindful thriving?

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Sat & Sun 22nd/23rd October – Shamanic meditation workshop retreatLearn how to practice the fundamentals of the most ancient meditation tradition on the planet in a clear, practical and concise manner, and understand its relevance and value to you and the challenges that you face in your life.

The workshop will give an overview and introduce some simple but profound shamanic practices on day one, with a deeper dive into Shamanic meditation practices on day two…read full details

 


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tues 16th /Weds 17th August – An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practice

Saturday October  8th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Sat & Sun 22nd/23rd October – Shamanic meditation workshop retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Concentration Inner vision Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope

Mindfulness for enhancing productivity & creativity in your work

“Don’t wait for inspiration. It comes while working.” – Henri Matisse

 

Dear Integral Meditators,

“Productivity” is a word that always needs to be held in context to do well in my opinion. In this weeks article I explore seven mindful positions to improve your work and creative output (for me work and creativity are very closely linked).
The subject of  this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class, will focus on a practical exploration of meditation and inner healing.  Feel free to join us either online or live!

Quick reminder of this coming Saturdays Full Moon Zen deep-dive mini-retreat, and heads up for Octobers  Shamanic meditation workshop retreat on the 22nd/23rd!

In the spirit of  inspiration while working,

Toby

Mindfulness for enhancing productivity & creativity in your work

As my own work continues to get busier with the business expanding, the combination of this and a relatively full family life and personal growth program means that being effective with my work time continues to be super important. Consequently, I’m aways looking to get batter at the basics in terms of how to be productive with the time that I have. Below are eight ‘mindful positions’ that I find continue to deliver value with regard to my work.
Applying this to yourself, you could think about them in terms of your paid work, but also and equally any type of work or creative activity that you want to do in your life, and make consistent progress with!

Practice 1 – Sitting with warmth, confidence and calm: whenever you begin a work session, just spend a few moments checking your body energy and posture. The more you can ‘sit well in the face of the next task’ the better you will tend to feel about doing it.

Practice 2 – Sitting with appreciation for what’s good at work right now: Good energy creates good energy. The more you can contextualize your present activity in terms of the other things that are currently good in your work, or other positive things that you have done, the easier it is to spring into action with enthusiasm!

Practice 3 – Going a little deeper into your intention for working: The clearer you can be about why you are doing what you are doing, and commit to the choice to work because of that, the stronger your motivation will be. The motivation could be financial, providing for family, or deeper in the sense of this being a part of your contribution to the evolution of the planet (in whatever way it may be). You need to know what your motivations are, and get them behind what you are doing.

Practice 4 – Acknowledging and accepting what you find difficult at work right now/ what are the obstacles to your productivity: Knowing and accepting what you find difficult in your work gives you the best chance of doing the work despite the challenges. Learn to carry your anxieties & apprehensions well.

Practice 5 – Identifying the most important tasks in the day/period ahead, developing focused intention: This is really a ‘bread and butter’ practice, set up clearly what you want to do, and stay with it! As your going thru your list of ‘to do’s’, your object of mindfulness in the moment is simply the task that you are on. Letting your attention rest on that means you can build some peace of mind as you are doing the tasks itself, rather than waiting until you have completed your tasks to do some mindful calming down…

Practice 6 – Imagining what it’s like when you have completed the work well – the ideal scene: If you imagine yourself at the end of your day having worked well and got what you wanted to do done, then you will notice how good it feels, and how charged with enthusiasm that image makes you feel. A short period of time focusing such a future scene can be a real catalyst for your present creative activity

Practice 7 – Sleep!: This one, like practice five is really something to keep tabs on all the time. Its 100% easier to work when you feel well rested. We can’t always feel well rested, and there are all sorts of obstacles that can get in the way, but to take responsibility for being as well rested as you can consistently will hugely improve your creative output.

So there are seven practices there, if you were to take one a day to focus on explicitly, you could go thru all of them in a week, and do four cycles over a month. Doing that would stimulate a lot of incremental improvements in your productivity, which is really what mindfulness is about; incremental improvement over time that is unstoppably consistent!

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday September 10th, 9.30-12noon – Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Session overview: These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart…read full details

Sat & Sun 22nd/23rd October – Shamanic meditation workshop retreatLearn how to practice the fundamentals of the most ancient meditation tradition on the planet in a clear, practical and concise manner, and understand its relevance and value to you and the challenges that you face in your life.

The workshop will give an overview and introduce some simple but profound shamanic practices on day one, with a deeper dive into Shamanic meditation practices on day two…read full details

 


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

 

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tues 16th /Weds 17th August – An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practice

Saturday September 24th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Saturday September 10th, 9.30-12noon – Full Moon Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Sat & Sun 22nd/23rd October – Shamanic meditation workshop retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Inner vision Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Presence and being present

Happiness as acceptance?

“When you can accept life and aliveness, and bring it to your daily activities, and that this can have a transformative effect, even (and particularly) when you are facing something difficult”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores how happiness can be something that is accepted rather than strived for. Sometimes we are trying to so hard to be happy, we ignore the nourishment that is already there under our nose!

Final call for the new class series, An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practice that starts on 16/17th August, and can be participated in live, online or using the recordings.

In the spirit of  acceptance,

Toby

Happiness as acceptance?

“Nothing is enough for the man for whom enough is too little” – Epicurius

In a previous article from last week, I wrote about meditation as a way of pre-disposing yourself to enjoyment and wellbeing. What I meant is that, if your habitual inner state is conducive to enjoyment, then you will tend to find it in your external circumstances, even if they are very difficult. Some of the inner states of mind that pre-dispose us to happiness are pro-active, seeking out ways to derive fulfilment from life. Others are seemingly more passive; they are ways of opening to enjoyment that require less effortfulness and more allowing. One of these is acceptance, and that this is what I would like to reflect upon a little below.

How much is enough?
A lot of the time we seem to be waiting for something to happen in our life that will catalyse enjoyment or wellbeing for us, something new, something that changes what is there. But what if we turned that around and said “What do I already have that I can recognize and open to that would create a sense of enjoyment for me?” What if I were to work on accepting what is already there? When you start to look there are loads of things in life that are sitting right there that we could be deriving inner nourishment from. For example, off the top of my head today:

  • I’m enjoying the use of affirmation and visualization in my physical body healing process at the moment
  • My daughters are healthy
  • It’s the start of a number of new working projects that I am motivated by
  • I’ve had a good summer holiday
  • The new rental contract for our house contained less of a price raise in rent than I had feared
  • The weekend was busy with friends and conversations

All of these things are available to me to be recognized, opened to and accepted. If I can do that, then the acceptance becomes a doorway to feelings of wellbeing that start to flow into my awareness and my body; I start to experience life as a good place to be.

What’s stopping you opening to what you’ve got?
Three obvious things stand out:

  • Your pain, misfortune and difficulties. We tend to focus on these, and are often quite attached to the tensions, pain and stress. We can be ‘happy in our misery’, we can feel a sense of justified resentment and anxiety. It takes real courage and conscious effort to break out of this
  • As with the Epicurius quote above, there can always be more, and if we don’t draw the line and say ‘I have enough, and I have enough to feel well’, then the sense of ‘not enough’ is a closed door of dissatisfaction and discontent
  • Embracing happiness and embracing life takes confidence, courage and care. If we really open to and accept what life is offering us, then it can be taken away. To open to enjoyment and pleasure means to feel vulnerable. If I keep pushing away my sources of life-fulness, then at least I am ‘safe’ in my numbness, caution and negativity

A practice
Sitting quietly, start to notice the sources of life-fulness, fulfilment and wellbeing in your life right now. As they come up, practice acknowledging them, opening to them, accepting them. As you breathe, let them feed and nourish your inner being. Let yourself feel that you are rich, that you have enough already to feel inwardly wealthy.
Once you have done this with specific things, you can practice opening to and accepting life itself, the life within you and around you, allowing yourself to be nourished by the flow of it in and through your body. In this second practice you start to realize that you can accept life and aliveness, and bring it to your daily activities, and that this can have a transformative effect, even (and particularly) when you are facing something difficult.

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com
Starts Tues 16th /Weds 17th August – An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practiceOverview: Life is an adventure in the experience of being conscious. To meditate and to be a meditator is to engage in this experience full-bloodedly, with the intention to get the very most out of the opportunity that we have been given, both in terms of enjoyment, and in terms of our potential to achieve worthwhile goals that are congruent with our inner values. This is a dynamic meditation course that covers…read full details

Saturday August 27th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details

 


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tues 16th /Weds 17th August – An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practice

Saturday August 27th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership

Pre-disposing yourself for enjoyment (& being battle ready)

“To take hold of our enjoyment we need to be conscious enough to direct attention toward our opportunities for enjoyment, and be ready to work our way patiently through the obstacles to that”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Is your happiness and wellbeing an accident, or is it on purpose? The article below looks at how you can pre-dispose yourself to good experiences using meditation, and why you might consider it a worthwhile investment.

If you enjoy the article, the subject is covered in my latest class series, An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practice that starts on 16/17th August, and can be participated in live, online or using the recordings.

Also, this Saturday I will be facilitating the monthly Zen deep-dive mini-retreat where we will be focusing on deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart.

In the spirit of  being battle-ready!

Toby

Pre-disposing yourself for enjoyment (& being battle ready)

Consolidating your inner strengths
One way of thinking about meditation is as an activity where we train our mind systematically to focus on positive-objects. By a ‘positive object’ I mean an object that when we focus upon it causes our awareness to become calm, strong, balanced, warm or otherwise positive and healthy in some way.
A meditator is a person who is committed to systematically developing their inner strengths and wellbeing by growing these strengths daily, perhaps a little bit like an inner gym-rat!

Train when things are going well! The need to be ‘Battle-ready’
One of the key insights a meditator has is that its best to train your mind to be inwardly strong before you start to suffer to much or encounter an emergency. This way when you do hit an emergency or encounter pain, you are ready for it.
When I was in the UK recently, I met an old friend and colleague from my Buddhist monk days. Although both our lives were going well in many ways, we could both enumerate a number of critical challenges that we and our family members were going though. The challenges were laced with various forms of pain and suffering. These sufferings were really in the nature of life itself and were unavoidable; old age, sickness, loneliness, economic challenges. The existence of the challenges was not within our ability to control. All we could could/can control is our mindset and way of being present to them. This in turn relies upon our inner strength, our capacity for things like acceptance, confidence, letting go, perseverance, love and so forth.
So, to be ‘Battle-ready’ for the sufferings that present themselves in our life, we can use meditation as a way of building and consolidating our inner strengths. Challenges in our life can always be opportunities, but if we are not inwardly robust and confident enough when we face them, the pain often shuts that opportunity down. So, we need to arrive prepared.

Pre-disposing ourself for enjoyment
Using meditation as a way of building our inner strengths also pre-disposes us to recognize and take our opportunities for enjoyment. Amidst the difficulty and tribulation of life there are many opportunities each day for fun, pleasure, happiness and fulfilment. If we are pre-occupied with our pain or feeling overwhelmed by life however, we will often not even recognize these opportunities.
So, for example, opportunities for enjoyment for me today include:

  1. Taking pleasure in the presence of my daughters
  2. Enjoying the familiarity of my home after a holiday away
  3. Appreciating that I have enough work set up this month not to have to worry
  4. Taking pleasure in giving (my older daughter’s birthday present)
  5. Appreciating the memories of the trip that I have just returned from
  6. Simple enjoyments in the form of food, coffee and so on
  7. Working on setting up the new projects for the second half of the year
  8. Being grateful for the presence of some childcare in the form of our helper to take the load off my shoulders
  9. The opportunity to exercise and meditate

These are all in my grasp, but I’m also feeling jet-lagged, sleep deprived and, as a result somewhat dis-oriented. To take hold of my enjoyment I need to be conscious enough to direct my attention toward my opportunities for enjoyment, and be ready to work my way patiently through the obstacles to that. My ability to do that relies to a large degree on the capacities that I have previously built up to focus on the positives, and not get thrown off balance by the obstacles. This, in essence is what this dimension of meditation practice is about.

In case you missed my previous article: Adventuring with attention (What is a Meditator?)

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Starts Tues 16th /Weds 17th August – An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practiceOverview: Life is an adventure in the experience of being conscious. To meditate and to be a meditator is to engage in this experience full-bloodedly, with the intention to get the very most out of the opportunity that we have been given, both in terms of enjoyment, and in terms of our potential to achieve worthwhile goals that are congruent with our inner values. This is a dynamic meditation course that covers…read full details

Saturday August 13th, 9.30-12noon – Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Session overview: These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart…read full details

 


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday August 13th, 9.30-12noon – Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Starts Tues 16th /Weds 17th August – An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practice

Saturday August 27th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Energy Meditation Inner vision Life-fullness Meditation techniques Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Meditation & inner healing

“Sometimes simply to sit with the intention to look within and heal can be a powerful practice in itself. The journey to wholeness begins with mindful orientation around this”

 

Dear Integral Meditators,

To be a meditator can be considered in a number of different ways, in my second article on the subject below we look at a meditator as someone committed to self-healing on a deeper level.

If you enjoy the article, the subject is covered in my latest class series, An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practice that starts on 16/17th August, and can be participated in live, online or using the recordings.

In the spirit of  healing,

Toby

Meditation & inner healing (What is a meditator? Article 2)

In my previous article I outlined two definitions of what it means to be a meditator:

  1. To be an Adventurer in consciousness
  2. A practitioner of the primary life-skills of awareness & attention

In this article I’m going to outline a another; a meditator as someone deeply committed to self-healing. I’ll outline a bit of what I mean by this, and then I’ll suggest come ways to start practicing.

Definition 3: Someone committed to self-healing – A meditator is someone who is committed to looking inward in order to see, take care of and heal the parts of themselves that are injured, wounded or broken and returning them to health. I’m talking primarily about the psychological parts of self here rather than physical self, although meditation can and does have a substantial effect on physical healing.
I’m suggest three practices for self-healing below. The practices can be done as sitting exercises, or taken as principles to be mindfully integrated into your overall approach to your life.

Practices for self-healing

1. Letting old wounds heal – If you keep picking at a scab on your knee, it will keep re-opening the wound, and prevent it from healing. It can be a great approach to inner healing just to acknowledge a particular wound (Eg: A bad relationship from the past that scarred us emotionally), and then leave it alone, let time pass and gently heal the damage that has been done, a little bit like vegetation and grass reclaims land that has been dug up or overused. ‘I choose to relax and let old wounds heal naturally, and in their own time’.

2. Revisiting difficult emotions therapeutically – This second practice involves deliberately invoking the memories and experiences of wounds and burdens, specifically in order to acknowledge, accept and then release them. Unlike the previous method here we are engaging the wound in order to use the knowing and experiencing of the wound as a healing agent. A key to understanding this technique is to know that awareness heals. By mindfully revisiting past blocks and breakages, we can begin a process of tangible movement towards wholeness.

3. Expanding beyond and transcending your wounds – In this section I’m just going to place a Jung quote that explains the principle very well. Essentially to expand and grow broader is, in many ways to heal:
“The greatest and most important problems of life are all in a certain sense insoluble…They can never be solved, but only outgrown. This outgrowing as I formerly called it, on further experience was seen to consist in a new level of consciousness. Some higher or wider interest arose in the person’s horizon, and through this widening of view, the insoluble problem lost its urgency. It was not solved logically on its own terms, but faded out when confronted with a new and stronger life-tendency.”

A final comment here, sometimes simply to sit with the intention to look within and heal can be a powerful practice in itself. The journey to wholeness begins with mindful orientation around this intention.

In case you missed my previous article: Adventuring with attention (What is a Meditator?)

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Starts Tues 16th /Weds 17th August – An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practiceOverview: Life is an adventure in the experience of being conscious. To meditate and to be a meditator is to engage in this experience full-bloodedly, with the intention to get the very most out of the opportunity that we have been given, both in terms of enjoyment, and in terms of our potential to achieve worthwhile goals that are congruent with our inner values. This is a dynamic meditation course that covers…read full details

Saturday August 13th, 9.30-12noon – Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Session overview: These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart…read full details

 


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday August 13th, 9.30-12noon – Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Starts Tues 16th /Weds 17th August – An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practice

Saturday August 27th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Inner vision Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

The illusion of evasion, distraction, suppression

“Evasion, distraction and suppression can make us feel like we are escaping our inner-problems in the very short term, but we pay a heavy long-term price. By facing, accepting and embracing our inner discomfort our efforts are rewarded with deep confidence as we gradually become more and more courageous”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Running away from the things within us that we are afraid of can be very tempting. In the article below I look at the consequences of this strategy, and how we can set up new strategies that give us a better chance of genuinely enjoying out life, even when we are going through a tough patch.

If you enjoy the article, we will be meditating with the subject this week in the first class of the new  Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilance your welcome to join us, either live or online!

In the spirit of mindful embracing,

Toby

The illusion of evasion, distraction, suppression

Difficult things are difficult to face
It’s not easy to face the things that make us uncomfortable in life.

  • Uncertainty of the future
  • Low self-esteem and lack of confidence in the face of a challenge
  • Regrets about the past
  • Fear of judgment
  • Feelings and emotions arising in us that we have been told are ‘bad’, forbidden or undesirable

The list could go on and on here, there are so many tricky and nervous-making things that can come up inside us in the face of our life-challenges.

The three types of short-term escape
In response to our discomfort, it can be easy to do three things:

  • Evade – Pretend we aren’t having the feeling, never acknowledge it or talk about it, push it out of our mind or think faster about something else whenever it comes up
  • Distract – Keep outwardly busy so we don’t have time to reflect on what’s going on inside. Go to social events we aren’t really interested in. Watch too much TV. Stay over-busy at work.
  • Suppress – Block the feelings and thoughts, put up inner walls, deny its existence, armor and tense our body against the presence of the emotional threat.

All of these three can feel like we are escaping in the very short term, but the longer-term price we pay is:

  • We remain stuck with the same unresolved difficult feelings and thoughts
  • We lose courage and self-esteem as we repeatedly (often unconsciously) give into fear and run away.
  • The unresolved feelings build and amplify, becoming larger and more difficult over time through the denial and suppression.
  • We can create actual repressions, where parts of our personality split off into the unconscious, becoming a part of our shadow, and haunting us continually from that place.

Replacing the three escape methods
A more courageous and effective methodology might be termed as ‘Facing, accepting and embracing’. If we take the example of working with anxiety around the future, this would mean:

  • Facing – When it arises, acknowledge it, turn toward not away from it. Bring it into your field of consciousness, not pushing it out and away
  • Accept – Accept that it is there, that it IS, even if it makes you uncomfortable, even if you don’t like it. Acceptance brings you into contact with the reality of your anxiety, and so in the best position to work with it effectively.
  • Embrace it – From acceptance, if we can then actually open to and embrace our inner challenge, it can begin to give back to us. For example we can then begin to work on transforming our anxiety about the future into excitement about the possibilities.

Transformation and enjoyment
Facing, accepting and embracing our inner challenges is a psychologically mature approach that rewards our efforts with confidence as we gradually become more and more courageous. It also helps us to remain practical and grounded in terms of finding real solutions to the actual things that are bothering us. Like all other well-done mindful methods, facing, accepting and embracing helps us to become more confident in the face of our reality, and in our capacity to deal with it effectively.

Related article: Unstructured mindfulness – Turning and facing yourself

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday /Wednesday 14/15th June – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilance

Tues & Weds 21/22nd June – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday June 25th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Monday-Weds 27-29th June – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three day course

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology