Category: Meditating on the Self

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Biographical Insight Meditation Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Relaxing into who you are – Mindfulness around reputation

“Generally, I’ve noticed that caring less and caring appropriately about reputation doesn’t harm it in ways that really matter too much, and that good people are often drawn to me turning up authentically and offering something genuine”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article looks at reputation as an object of mindful attention, if you enjoy it, do feel free to join us for this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class, where we shall be taking it as out subject for meditation.

Heads up for two events next week: Starting Tues/Weds April 11th/12th , 7.30-8.30pm – Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course & Saturday 15th April 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

In the spirit of the life-eternal, 
 
Toby 

Relaxing into who you are – Mindfulness around reputation

‘PROPHECY’ By Anthony De Mello
“I wish to become a teacher of the Truth.”
“Are you prepared to be ridiculed, ignored and starving till you are forty-five?”
“I am. But tell me: what will happen after I am forty-five?”
“You will have grown accustomed to it.”
 
The above story is one of my favourites, I mention it quite often in my trainings and coaching sessions. Over the years it has really helped my to relax into who I am, do the work that I want to do and, based upon that invite others to participate in a way that I can make a living
 
Are you prepared to be ridiculed, ignored and starving till you are forty-five?
With reputation, its worth looking at the attachments and anxieties that we have around it. Naturally we don’t want to be ridiculed or thought of as stupid, we want affirmation from others. Naturally we don’t want to be ignored, we want to feel that we have value and that that value is recognised. The thought of not having enough resources to survive haunts us, and we feel we need to make friends and allies to help us avoid that ( even though for the most part we are well beyond the point of completely running out of food and money). All of this is understandable, but it becomes a problem when we start to change ourself and divert from our own basic authenticity in order to gain or sustain a ‘good reputation’ with others and in our community.
I stated relating this story when I was around 40 years old (I misread the age in the text). When I told it I told it in relation to the work of being an independent mindfulness and meditation teacher, outside of the mainstream plying my trade and encouraging participation. I had struggled somewhat up to that point with the task of being happy to stick to my guns in terms of my work, and not be too bothered who liked it, disliked it or just wasn’t interested. I wanted to be thought well of, be recognised and rewarded when I set out my stall and made an offering. By the time I hit 40 however it had started to be more of an amusing game to me, ‘rejected’ or ‘ignored’ had become something I had accepted as a normal part of things. There was a real liberation that came from this in two ways:

  • Firstly, my peace of mind and equanimity in the face of reputational concerns increased
  • Secondly, I felt free-er to simply turn up and be myself, offer what I had to offer and relax into the effects/consequences of that

Another couple of effects were:

  • I started enjoying my work more, and engaging with more enthusiasm
  • I noticed that, when people did like what I did, or connected with what I offered, it felt stronger; what I gave out tended to come back

 
Letting go of over-concern won’t harm your reputation
I’m not suggesting here that you completely don’t give a sh*t about what others think of you, just that you:

  • Recognize and release over-concern around reputation
  • Don’t compromise yourself for the sake of your reputation
  • Make the cultivation of your reputation an aspect of your curiosity, creativity and ethics, rather than neurosis and insecurity
  • Value your reputation with the people that you value, and that value you, rather than ‘everyone’
  • Become good at affirming your own fundamental value and worth instead of needing that affirmation from what others think of you

Generally, I’ve noticed that caring less and caring appropriately about reputation doesn’t harm it in ways that really matter too much, and that good people are often drawn to me turning up authentically and offering something genuine.
Back in my Tibetan Buddhist days reputation was amongst four domains to cultivate even-mindedness around:

  • Pleasure and pain
  • Loss and gain
  • Praise and blame
  • Good reputation bad reputation

Even-mindedness around of them has substantial rewards, ‘reputational even-mindedness’ is a base for types of happiness and confidence that cannot be had when we are at the mercy of the opinions of others. And you probably won’t starve, either.

Related reading: The experiential self: Meditation, vividness & charisma

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Sat & Sunday 1st, 2nd April – Two day integral meditation retreat

Starts Tues/Weds April 11th/12th , 7.30-8.30pm – Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course

Saturday 15th April 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday April 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Tues 30th/Weds 31st May – Wesak meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation techniques mind body connection Presence and being present Zen Meditation

Eternal life (& where to find it)

“By dropping time and your sensory experience regularly, you gently start to acquaint yourself with life beyond form and time, the life eternal that you and all of us are participating in simultaneously with our everyday ever-changing life”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article looks at a perennial meditation theme, and one closely tied up with the meaning of liberation and also very effective overall relaxation and stress transformation. 
If you enjoy the article then do feel free to join us for this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class, where we shall be taking it as out subject for meditation.
The two week integral meditation retreat this weekend is currently full, if you would like to be on the wait-list just let me know. 

In the spirit of the life-eternal, 
 
Toby 

Eternal life (& where to find it)
 
From a meditation point of view finding and ‘achieving’ eternal life is very simple. By ‘eternal life’ here we mean that which is not subject to the normal processes of living and dying, and that abides in an unchanging manner. It is a place where all problems are solved, all conflicts harmonized. It is a place of ‘permanent’ lasting peace. In the great wisdom traditions, the realization (not ‘achievement’) of eternal life is synonymous with the attainment of liberation or nirvana.
 
So where do we find it? Curiously we find it sitting under our noses, but where? If you look at each moment or occasion of your consciousness you will find three aspects:

  • A sensory dimension, what you see, feel smell touch etc…
  • A mental dimension, what you think, feel (emotionally) and imagine about it as it is happening
  • A consciousness dimension – That which is observing and experiencing the mind and senses

If you observe the first two dimensions, sense and mind you’ll see that they are changing continuously. They move thru continuous cycles of ‘life & death’, of coming and going.  If you turn your attention to the third dimension, consciousness itself, you will probably notice it’s a little more difficult to observe. This is because there is nothing to it in terms of form and movement; its just a formless, timeless ‘containing space’. It holds space for the impermanent comings and goings of our mind and senses.
Because consciousness itself is formless, it is timeless. Because it is timeless, it is eternal. So, whenever you ‘drop into’ the experience of consciousness itself, you find eternal life there and also that part of you that is eternal. By eternal we mean not beginning, not ending, not subject to change. Consciousness is just a living empty space, nothing there, but pregnant with all possibilities.
In his short story entitled ‘Illusion’ Anthony De Mello gives a few pointers about where to find eternal life:
 
ILLUSION
“How shall I attain Eternal Life?”
“Eternal Life is now. Come into the present.”
“But I am in the present now, am I not?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because you haven’t dropped your past.”
“Why should I drop my past? Not all of it is bad.”
“The past is to be dropped not because it is bad but because it is dead.”
 
So, to find eternal life (which is found in the state of consciousness itself) we need to drop time, past and also future. This helps still our mind enough to start to see consciousness in the present.
Another thing we need to do it withdraw our attention from our senses. As Lao Tzu says in verse 12 of the Tao Te Ching:
 
“Colours blind the eye.
Sounds deafen the ear.
Flavours numb the taste.
Thoughts weaken the mind.
Desires wither the heart.
 
The master observes the world
But trusts his inner vision.
He allows things to come and go.
His heart is open as the sky”
(Chapter 12 Steven Mitchell translation)
 
So, to find eternal life experientially in meditation you need to drop the past and future, withdraw your attention from the senses and allow your perception of consciousness itself to start to gradually come into focus. In doing so you gently start to acquaint yourself with life beyond form and time, the life eternal that you and all of us are participating in simultaneously with our everyday ever-changing life. In this sense ‘heaven’ is not something that we may or may not experience after our death. As Thich Nhat Hanh says “The pure land is now or never”. You ether see it or you don’t. If you are waiting and hoping to encounter it sometime in the future, you’ve missed it already, its right here where it always has been.

Related reading: That which solves all your problems and none

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Sat & Sunday 1st, 2nd April – Two day integral meditation retreat

Starts Tues/Weds April 11th/12th , 7.30-8.30pm – Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course

Saturday 15th April 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday April 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Tues 30th/Weds 31st May – Wesak meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Concentration Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

On meditation & ‘tantric self-esteem’

“Essentially then, to sit in your own company with ‘tantric self-esteem’ means to relate with feeling of warm friendliness (self-respect) toward yourself, and a confidence in your fundamental efficacy or adequacy to life”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

Why is it so difficult to sit in the present? In my previous article on ‘Making it easier to focus deeply‘ I look at one aspect of this. In the article below I continue that exploration. 
If you enjoy the article, do pop down either live or online to the Tuesday or Wednesday evening meditation class, where we shall be exploring this theme experientially. 

In the spirit of presence,
 
Toby 

On meditation & ‘tantric self-esteem’
 
The problem: To be present means to become more self-aware
One of the challenges that we face with meditation is that it makes us more present, which in turn brings us into a more conscious relationship to ourself and what is going on within ourselves. Of course, that is also the benefit and opportunity of meditation. But, if you don’t have a great relationship to yourself, and if there are things about yourself in the moment (body awareness, thoughts, emotions) that make you uncomfortable, then trying to be more present often becomes the last thing that you want to be! Much more attractive to be lost in thought, distracted, not present.
So, in a sense the art of meditation begins with getting comfortable with yourself in the moment.
 
The characteristic of good quality self-esteem
Who feels comfortable with and by themselves in the moment? One answer to this is someone with healthy self-esteem. What does that mean? Here is a working definition of self-esteem from Nat Branden:
“Despite the abundance of books, studies, workshops and committees devoted to the subject of self-esteem, there is little agreement about what it means. Self-esteem has two essential components:

  • Self-efficacy: Confidence in the ability to cope with life’s challenges. Self-efficacy leads to a sense of control over one’s life.
  • Self-respect: Experience oneself as deserving of happiness, achievement and love. Self-respect makes possible a sense of community with others.

Self-esteem is a self-reinforcing characteristic. When we have confidence in our ability to think and act effectively, we can persevere when faced with difficult challenges. We succeed more often than we fail. We form more nourishing relationships. We expect more of life and of ourselves.
If we lack confidence, we give up easily, fail more often and aspire to less. We get less of what we want.”
Essentially here then, to sit in your own company with self-esteem means to sit with a feeling of warm friendliness (self-respect) toward yourself, and a confidence in your fundamental efficacy or adequacy to life.
 
Tantric self-esteem: Sitting ‘as if’
Tantric practice in meditation is essentially to act ‘as if’. You use your imagination to bring the desired result into the present. In this case we are concerned with self-esteem, so in meditation we sit down and become present to ourself ‘as if we already had healthy functional self-esteem’:

  • As we sit and become present to our body-mind in the moment we extend warm, friendly, respectful feelings to ourself, as if we deserved a healthy degree of basic joy and wellbeing
  • We sit with ourselves as if we were siting with someone we trusted and whose fundamental capability we feel confident in

If we sit in this way, then the present moment, and our awareness of ourselves becomes a comfortable, attractive place to be. It is a place where we feel safe and welcome, as if in the company of a really good friend.
Done in this way, meditation becomes much less effortful because our resistance to the present is much reduced, it’s a place we like to be rather than have a vested interest in avoiding!
 
Practice
You can try it for a few minutes a day, just sitting and breathing with yourself and your tantric self-esteem. If you can familiarize yourself with this feeling and experience, then you will start to notice it becoming a normal part of the way you relate to yourself. This is not just in meditation, but in your daily activities, your way of going, being and interacting with the world.

 © Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 11th February, 9am-12.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

In a sentence: Learn how to work creatively with uncertainty, imperfection and life’s inherent messiness to realize your leadership and self-leadership potential.  Manage stress and anxiety better using mindfulness in combination with the practical philosophy of Wabi-Sabi.

Wabi-Sabi is one of the definitive aesthetic movements to emerge from Japan. With origins starting in the early 15th Century and influenced from Zen Buddhism, Wabi-Sabi became an aesthetic found in the arts and crafts such as ceramic, flower arranging and interior design. It also became a practical philosophy and approach to life. Principle aspects of Wabi-Sabi include:

  • An appreciation of the beauty of the impermanent, the imperfect and incomplete
  • A recognition of the value of humility
  • A willingness to engage with the unconventional

Mindfulness is the art of attention training and presence….read full workshop details


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday 11th February, 9am-12.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Saturday February 26th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat
 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Biographical Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Presence and being present

Climbing, not carrying mountains

“When we focus on climbing, not carrying our mountains, we don’t run out of energy so fast because we are not carrying a heavy burden. we can persist over long periods of time without burning out. This in turn gives rise to tremendous self-confidence arising from our sense of resilience”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Wishing everyone all the very best for 2023! Below is an article that I wrote after a day of climbing in the jungle on new year’s eve. If you enjoy it then do come along (live or online) for the  2023 New year ‘Beginners mind’ meditation on the 3rd or 4th of Jan.

Also, if your looking for a way to go renew, deepen or make more complete your meditation practice, then the Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course beginning on 10th/11th Jan is a great option to consider!

In the spirit of  climbing & not carrying,

Toby

Climbing, not carrying mountains

Today, 31st December I spent the morning with my daughter climbing through the jungle up and down a small mountain in the Cameron highlands, Malaysia. Its always lovely how your mind clears and you really can settle into the rhythm of the moment, almost forgetting the rest of your life when you are in deeper nature. For me it invited the remembrance of really how to put things down and, traveling lightly, to return to a beginner’s mind, moving from step to step between the earth and sky, between the leaves and the breeze.
Once we got down from the peak it got me reflecting. With all the things going on in our life it can feel difficult sometimes to really enjoy our journey joyfully, with a beginner’s mind. This quote from Najwa Zebian is a great object of meditation to hold what you are going thru more lightly:
“These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb”
If our challenges and problems are mountains, then the job is to climb them, not carry them. If we make the mistake, as we often do, of carrying around our problem-mountains on our back, its no wonder we feel tired and overwhelmed. So, the first mindful object here is:
“Notice when you are carrying your mountains, and put them down!”
Once you have got a feel for this putting-down manouvre, really notice the contrast in your body-sense as well as your mindset between being a ‘mountain carrier’ and an agile, light ‘mountain-climber’. You want to stay with this second sensibility for most of the time, and let go of the first as much as possible. The second mindful object then becomes:
“Stick to the discipline of climbing (and descending) lightly”

‘Carrying rumination’
When you are trying to carry your mountains, the heaviness can invite rumination and regret:

  • “Why did I get myself into this?”
  • “I should have done this differently”
  • “Why me?”
  • “It’s unbearable, I can’t take it any more…It’s my fault/someone else’s” (there has to be someone to blame!)

‘Climbing solving’
When you are focused on climbing and not carrying, then as well as the feeling of lightness and durability that is gained, it is easier simply to focus, to quote Nat Branden “Not on who’s to blame, but what is to be done?”. Our challenges are problems that require some form of solution, or sometimes simply acceptance. If we aren’t weighted down by the carrying, then we can simply reflect upon what can be done, and do it! If a challenge turns out to be a tricky one, we can simply try and try again. We don’t run out of energy so fast because we are not carrying a heavy burden, we can persist over long periods of time without burning out. This in turn gives rise to tremendous self-confidence arising from our sense of resilience.

Some areas for mindful exploration:
Sitting quietly, breathe and relax into some of the themes in this piece:

  • These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb
  • Notice when you are carrying your mountains, and put them down
  • Stick to the discipline of climbing (and descending) lightly
  • Not on who’s to blame, but what is to be done?
  • Return to your beginner’s mind

Happy mountain climbing with your beginner’s mind!

Related reading: Combining your Beginners Mind & your Wise Mind

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Integral Meditation Practice (IMP) is a different kind of mind-body training, that aims to provide optimal inner peace, centeredness, energy and insight for the contemporary meditation practitioner. It combines eastern and western forms of practice, as well as ancient and modern ones into a series of integrative practices. The practices enable the meditator to remain resilient, energized and creative in the face of the multi-faceted challenges of modern life. These eight classes give an introduction to IMP, in a simple, accessible manner…see full details

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 ‘Beginners mind’ meditation

This meditation session is focused upon setting up the 2022 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2022

Read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 New year ‘Beginners mind’ meditation

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday January 28th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership

Moving toward or away from reality?

“Good quality rational thinking is not rushed thinking, it is not emotional thinking, or impulsive thinking. You could say that rational thinking is mindful thinking, where we take the time to ‘reason’ things out in an appropriate way, and to really watch and observe”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article is an exploration of the theme of mindful thinking which, in the context of this article means thinking that takes us toward reality, rather than away from it! I hope you enjoy it.

In the new year starting Jan 10th 2023 I’ll be running the Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course . If your looking to really get your teeth into your meditation practice next year, this is a great way to start!

Closer to then, this Wednesday 21st is the Free Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only). All are welcome, its a nice way to mindfully wrap up the year and o on an inner winter-time journey!

In the spirit of  the solstice and wishing you a fulfilling and mindful Christmas,

Toby

 

Moving toward or away from reality? – Rational vs rationalization

With regard to the mind, of the main things we are trying to do in integrative mindfulness is to slow it down enough to make it conscious and high-quality in terms of its thinking. Once we have done this, we can then actually speed it up again and it will serve to reduce our stress and increase our effectiveness, rather than getting in the way!

Rationality – Thinking that takes us toward reality

Conscious, high-quality thinking really means rational thinking in the holistic sense of the word. It means thinking that is based around the observable facts that are available to us in any given situation. It means setting aside pre-conceived ideas and biases with regard how we think or want things to be. It is letting the objective evidence inform us as far as possible. Rationality is designed to take us toward reality, to help us understand it as clearly as is possible.

Rational thinking is trustworthy thinking. If we trust our own thinking process, we will gain confidence and trust in our mind and in our intelligence. It means being disciplined and rigorous in our observation of ourself and our world.

Good quality rational thinking is not rushed thinking, it is not emotional thinking, or impulsive thinking. You could say that rational thinking is mindful thinking, where we take the time to ‘reason’ things out in an appropriate way, and to really watch and observe.

Rationalization – Creating the fantasy that you want

Rationalization is the inverse of rationality. If we understand it, it really helps clarify what true rationality is. To ‘rationalize’ means to take an idea that we want to be true, and create reasons why it is true. It takes what we want and then uses the intellect to fabricate ideas to support it.

  • If I am angry, I can ignore the clear body-signals that I am angry, and tell myself that I am not angry because I am not the sort of person who gets angry in these situations
  • If I fail in a business venture I don’t want to be at fault, so I blame it all on fate and circumstance, rather than looking for evidence of mistakes I made and what I can learn from them
  • Out of fear I find reasons not to trust others, and use it to justify my own lack of trustworthiness, rather than assessing each person on their individual merits, and make myself accountable for my own trustworthiness.

Rationality takes me towards reality and makes me effective there. Rationalization often takes me away from reality and makes me less effective; my mind is somewhere other than my reality.

A four-question rationality process

This is a variation on a previous four-stage engaged mindfulness process that I created a while back. It is designed to put in place some of the essential thought strictures you need to be rational in a given situation. You can ask these four questions one after the other and they will lead you rationally from awareness to appropriate action, step by step

  • What are the facts that I need to be aware of here?
  • What are the realities here that I need to accept?
  • What do I need to take responsibility for here?
  • What do I need to do next to move toward the best possible result?

Final point here, to be rational really takes presence. You have to be present to what IS, to be rational! Wishing you well in the noble and often-not-easy pursuit of mindful rationality.

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Wednesday Dec 21st, 7.30-8.30pm – Free Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

In Celtic the name of the winter solstice is ‘Alban Arthan’ or ‘The Light of Arthur’. In this case Arthur refers to the Sun God who, at this time of maximum darkness in the year dies and is reborn in the world of nature and within ourselves. This will be a chance to reflect on the spiritual meaning and power of the winter season. We will look at the different ways our own inner light can ‘die and be re-born once more’….read full details

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Integral Meditation Practice (IMP) is a different kind of mind-body training, that aims to provide optimal inner peace, centeredness, energy and insight for the contemporary meditation practitioner. It combines eastern and western forms of practice, as well as ancient and modern ones into a series of integrative practices. The practices enable the meditator to remain resilient, energized and creative in the face of the multi-faceted challenges of modern life. These eight classes give an introduction to IMP, in a simple, accessible manner…see full details

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 New year releasing and inviting meditation

This meditation session is focused upon setting up the 2022 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2022

Read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday Dec 21st, 7.30-8.30pm – Free Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday January 28th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Energy Meditation Enlightened love and loving Inner vision Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope

Cultivating your positive imperfectionist

“Even when inactive our positive imperfectionist is a benevolent and supportive feeling/atmosphere in our psyche, encouraging us to get stuck in to the activities that we feel motivated around and not to live in fear of trying”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores some ways to begin freeing yourself from the ‘negative perfectionist, with the help of a new friend, the ‘Positive Imperfectionist’. Quite a lot of my coaching work with people relates to this area. With your PI in place it becomes surprisingly possible to do difficult and very worthwhile things. I hope you enjoy it! If you do, then then this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday class will be focused on this subject. You are welcome to join us, live or online!

Next week sees the beginning of the final class series of the year: Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life , do check it out!

In the spirit of positive-imperfectionism,

Toby

Cultivating your positive imperfectionist

The prevalence of negative perfectionism
If you have been around any kind of inner-development circles; meditation groups, psychotherapy, coaching etc, one of the phenomena that you may have come across will be the ‘negative perfectionist’. This is a part of many people’s psyche that is obsessed with doing things ‘correctly’ or flawlessly. This part of us is also very inclined to judge us quickly and harshly for any perceived failures flaws of mistakes that we make in our life. There are different forms of uncomfortable and sometimes excruciating psychological pain that it subjects us to as it points out the stupidity of our actions, the inappropriate things that we said, the things we could and should have done better. Even when inactive, it lives within our awareness as an ever-present threat, causing us to live in fear and discouraging us from doing things that be ‘risky’, might go wrong or otherwise expose our imperfection and how generally inadequate we are (!)

Some of the narratives of the negative perfectionist:

  • If you can’t do it right first time you may as well give up
  • You are your actions, if you mess one or more up, you are an idiot
  • People around you are judging you just as harshly as I (the negative perfectionist) am judging you, look how stupid you are making us look!
  • You are guilty until proven innocent, I’m expecting you to mess this up somehow
  • Why do you always find something for me to dislike about you
  • Don’t expose yourself to risk, better to hide than to fail
  • No matter what you achieve, it will never be enough for me
  • You are neither likable nor competent
  • You are isolated and alone

Do any of these sound familiar?

Your positive imperfectionist
For most people then it is well worth cultivating your positive imperfectionist. This is the inner voice within you that is ok with messy and imperfect. It encourages incremental improvement. It urges us to keep going even if we are not very good at something to begin with. It is forgiving and light, and quick to point out progress or improvement we make. It sees the value in failure, and sees mistakes as learning opportunities. Even when inactive it is a benevolent and supportive feeling/atmosphere in our psyche, encouraging us to get stuck in to the activities that we feel motivated around

Working on the narratives of the positive imperfectionist

  • If at first you don’t succeed, try again, having learned from the last attempt
  • You are not your actions, your fundamental value is secure
  • You have friends and encouragers around you, listen to them, feel supported
  • You are innocent until proven guilty! You are accountable for your actions, but don’t think failing sometimes makes you weak!
  • I believe in you
  • Keep trying, no risk no reward
  • You are already enough, try and see how much more you become
  • You are likeable
  • You are not alone

Any one of this last set of sentences can be an object of meditation. Internalizing them one by one will help you recognize and consolidate the voice of your positive imperfectionist. What are you waiting for?

Related articles: Mindful Optimism

​© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Dates and titles:
Tues 23/Weds24th November, Class 1 – Everyday depth: being in the world but not of the world
Tues 6/Weds 7th November, Class 2 – Going within: The cave of the heart
Tues 13/Weds 14th June, Class 3 – The experiential self: Meditation, vividness, charisma, ego
Read full details…

Saturday November 26th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat
In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practice

Saturday November 12th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Saturday November 26th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

The quickest way to de-stress

“The quickest way to de-stress…is to stop thinking about yourself“

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article is an ‘instant insight’ type piece, if you get it, a lot of good things follow! It also aims to give some context for the practice of dropping the self, it is designed to strengthen, not weaken our overall, healthy sense of ‘I’.
If you enjoy it, then do consider coming along to this Saturday’s Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat. Also the new Meditation class series starting 14/15th June The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilance is very much an exploration of this type of wisdom.

Finally, I’ll be doing the Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers three day course on 27-29th June. If you have any teenagers who you think would enjoy developing these skills, then this is the course for them!

In the spirit of dropping,

Toby

 

The quickest way to de-stress

…is to stop thinking about yourself.

The self as the center of your neurosis
If you reflect upon any of your experiences of stress, related to anxiety around the future, regrets, lack of something, getting fired…All of them have at the center of the experience you. The sense of a self sits at the middle of it all, facilitating and holding together the whole thing.

Practicing dropping the self
If you want a temporary liberation from this stress and inner tension, practice the discipline of putting down the self for a while. As a mindfulness exercise the trick here is to de-centralize your awareness; of course you’ll still be experiencing a body, thoughts, feelings and so on. But what you are trying to do is to not grasp at them as a part of your ‘I’. For example:

  • I can be aware of the sensation of my body without identifying it as mine
  • I can imagine that any thoughts that may be present ‘have no thinker’

Somatically, it’s good to relax the chest and central zone of the torso, where much of that holding onto self happens physically and energetically. If you can create a body that has dropped the feeling of the self, then dropping it mentally is much easier! As a mindfulness practice you can sit down and try and do this in an undistracted manner. Start with 3-5mins, and build up from there.

The liberated self
When you drop your conventional self-sense in this way, you notice that there is a new ‘self’ that starts to emerge, one that is not stressed by the comings and goings of your life events, but that remains bright and clear in the face of both enjoyment and difficulty.

Dropping the self is not distraction or evasion
Dropping the self in this manner is completely different from and not to be mistaken for avoiding yourself through distraction and ‘keeping busy’ in order to ‘not think about stuff’. This type of ‘keeping busy’ is more a way of pushing your stress ‘under the carpet’ so to speak. Of course, when you repress or suppress it is still there and comes out in other ways…

Thinking about yourself less
In your daily life, once you have a sense of the exercise on dropping your self you can practice thinking about yourself somewhat less, and with more objectivity. This is a way of managing your self better, without letting it become overwhelmingly intense and all pervasive. When you are very stressed it is actually very difficult not to be ‘selfish’ because there is this overwhelming sense of ‘I’ all the time. When you think about yourself less, you can be less selfish, whilst at the same time asserting your needs, wishes and preferences in life in an appropriate manner.

The complementary polarity: Self-responsibility
When we drop the self and think about it less, the complementary attitude to this is to live also with a strong sense of self, and of self-responsibility. This sense of self is a non-neurotic, confident, warm and expansive self-sense that feels able to deal with life without getting overwhelmed, and enjoys problem solving and being challenged to grow. The self-responsible ‘I’ can grow much more easily in an environment where the obsessive-compulsive self has been let go of.

Related article: Dropping the self

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Starts Tuesday /Wednesday 14/15th June – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilanceIn a sentence: Learn the art of ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom through integrative meditation
Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series is an ongoing series that looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention…. Read full details

Saturday 11th June, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart…read full details

Monday-Weds 27-29th June – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three day course

As a teenager, what were the life-skills you wish you had been taught, in addition to all your school subjects? These sessions are specifically designed to help teens develop their real inner skills that help them be:

  • More effective at achieving their chosen goals
  • Build confidence,
  • Build resilience around stress and
  • Increase their capacity for fun and enjoyment as they learn.

Read full details…

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Saturday 11th June, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Starts Tuesday /Wednesday 14/15th June – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilance

Saturday June 25th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Monday-Weds 27-29th June – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three day course

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership

Peace or victory?

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on mindfulness around conversations and arguments. we all know the expression “Do you want to be right or to be happy”, I explore a few of the nuances of this.

This weeks Tuesday & Wednesday meditations are an exploration of this theme in combination with that of ‘engaged equanimity’, you are welcome to join us, either live or online.

And final call for this Saturday morning’s Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat, if you haven’t tries it already, you might enjoy it!

In the spirit of the victory of peace,

Toby

 

Peace or victory?

The need to be right
It’s a familiar saying “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Certainly, in inter-relational mindfulness this is an important question. If we can’t be happy until the other person (or everyone!) acknowledges that we are right, then our happiness is going to be disrupted for large sections of our life. The skill here then would seem to be letting go of the need to be right, and choosing to value our peace of mind over ‘rightness’.

The need to be seen to be right
Its an interesting distinction between being right, and being seen to be right. Without the other saying explicitly we are right, often it seems not to be enough just to trust our own judgment assert our position and then leave it at that. Often the need for the approval or affirmation of others means that we can’t rest in peace unless we get it. So, when looking for the peace of being happy rather than right, accepting that we may not get the approval of the person/s we are arguing with would seem to be an important area to be mindful of.

The need for self-trust and sound judgment
If we are going to be focusing on “being happy rather than right” it’s also important to build trust and confidence in yourself, your perception and ability to process the facts of the matter as far as they are available. We need to articulate and hold to our values as well as we can. Being happy doesn’t need to come at the cost of not being able to stick up for our position, and act accordingly. We need to be as objectively ‘right’ as we can in our own judgments, without being addicted to the need for other people to always affirm that position to us.

To be happy to be not understood and seen
If we are not affirmed as right, or even dismissed as wrong in a conversation and we want to be able to retain a degree of inner peace, then we need to be ok sometimes with not being seen or understood by the other or others. This is not easy! But there is a lot to be gained from paying attention when you are in positions like this, and using them as a test off your independent-mindedness, and ability to be even-minded in the face of the disapproval, scorn, disagreement or indifference of others.

The victory of peace
The victory we are aiming at here is the peace that comes from not needing to be right, or have the approval of others. I would add to this that in combination with this we need to be able to trust and feel confident in our own judgment, otherwise we risk capitulating to others in an inappropriate way, and “letting go” of difficult conversations/arguments that need to be pursued over time simply because they make us uncomfortable.

Summary points for mindful reflection:

  • Do I want to be right or at peace?
  • Can I accept I may not get the approval of affirmation of others sometimes?
  • Do I trust my own judgement and clarity of thinking in this situation?
  • Can I be ok with not being understood or ‘seen’ sometimes?
  • How committed am I to the victory of peace rather than rightness?

Related article: Engaged equanimity

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday May 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Tues 17th/Weds 18th May: Wesak meditation

Saturday May 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Saturday 11th June, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self mind body connection Mindful Breathing Mindful Resilience Presence and being present

Fundamental sensuality, fundamental wealth & sustainable compassion

Dear Integral Meditators,

Where is your fundamental wealth and abundance to be found? This weeks article explores this question, and how to develop your connection to your inner resources.
If you enjoy the article, then we will be exploring it in some depth in this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday class, and final reminder for this Saturday’s  Zen deep dive-mini retreat!

In the spirit of the fundamentals,
Toby
Fundamental sensuality, fundamental wealth & sustainable compassion
Your fundamental sensuality
Sit or stand for a while, focusing on breathing into your body, and gently feeling its fundamental vitality or life-force. If you do this, you will notice that your body and body awareness starts to become sensual. This sensuality is a feeling in the body that is warm and alive. You can enhance this feeling using the breathing in this way: Inhale into the core of your body sensing its living nature. Breathe out relaxing your whole body into this feeling. You can build a flow state that is focused, relaxed and positively sensual like this. You could call this practice connecting to your fundamental sensuality, or vitality.
The thing about your fundamental sensuality is that it feels good, feels positive. It makes your body feel more comfortable, alive and happy. As a result, it is easier for you to direct your thoughts in a positive manner, and generate a variety of enjoyable emotions. Fundamental sensuality also encourages basic reality orientation, in the sense that it places us in contact with the immediate moment, taking us into our body, rather than getting lost in our mind.

Your fundamental warmth & wealth
Once you have some experience of your fundamental vitality or sensuality, you can practice directing its warmth toward yourself. You will discover that this feels friendly and pleasant, and encourages the sense of being both well disposed and supportive toward yourself. Chogyam Trungpa called this our ‘fundamental warmth’. When we focus on ourselves with warmth, it naturally gives rise to self-compassion and sensitivity in a way that encourages healing and integration, rather than wallowing in pain.

Sustainable compassion
With some experience of focusing your fundamental warmth toward yourself, the feeling then starts to come that you are fundamentally wealthy in the inner sense of the word, that you have an abundance of resources. If you then take this warm awareness and vitality and turn it around, then it becomes warmth and natural compassion for others. You feel as if you can generate warmth and compassion for others easily and without much effort, not because you are obliged to, but because you can and it feels quite natural to do so. Moreover, you can focus this warmth and compassion upon others with confidence that it won’t run out, and that if you need a source to recharge yourself from, then you can simply turn your fundamental warmth back toward yourself and receive it for a while. So, this position then gives us real confidence in our capacity to be compassionate and benevolent toward others, without fear of burning out or getting our batteries ‘run down’ by them, even if they are so called ‘energy vampires’ who specialize in using people’s sympathy to take energy from them!
So, the basic practice here has three stages:

  1. Developing your fundamental sensuality
  2. Directing it toward yourself to build your fundamental warmth and self-compassion
  3. Turning your fundamental warmth outward to the world and generating consistent compassion and generosity toward others in a way that is sustainable, and doesn’t lead to exhaustion.

You can build this up gradually, there is no hurry. But the idea is that, over time your energy becomes more and more resilient both intra-personally in your relationship to yourself, and inter-personally in your relationship toward others and the outer world.

Related article: Compassionate presence, awakened action
What is the point in being more present?

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

In a sentence: Establish the inner strength, skill and courage needed to make you resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and thrive in both times of adversity and times of peace.

Overview: The Warriors Creed is a poem by an unknown Samurai in the 14th century. It outlines a code of conduct and a state of presence based around a series of inner qualities that can be cultivated through mindful contemplation, then applied to our daily life…read full details

Saturday 14th April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreatThese 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart…read full details

Saturday May 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreatIn a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Tues 17th/Weds 18th May: Wesak meditation

Saturday May 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Saturday 14th April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Honesty, enemies, friends, mindfulness – Three ‘warrior meditations’

“The invitation is to look at ourself and our life and embrace it fully, to accept it in an un-reserved and pro-active manner. When we ‘love our fate’ in this way we look honestly at the difficulties of our life, and open to them”

 

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on three short ‘warrior meditations’. They will be the subject of this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday class, you are welcome to join us, either live or online!

In the spirit of opening,

Toby

Honesty, enemies, friends, mindfulness – Three ‘warrior meditations’

Here are three mini “warrior-meditations” that I have put together. Each of them can be done as a meditation in itself, or combined into a three-stage practice. Each of them contains a core idea, which functions as the real ‘engine room’ or ‘energy creation room’ of the practice. Their inspiration was this passage from the ‘Warriors Creed’:
“I have no authority; I make honesty my authority
I have no enemies; I make carelessness and indifference my
enemies
I have no friends; I make the earth and sky my friends”

Working with honesty – Amor Fati
‘Amor Fati’ is a (Roman) Stoic saying that essentially means to ‘love one’s fate’ or to ‘embrace one’s fate’. The invitation here is to look at ourself and our life and embrace it fully, to accept it in an un-reserved but also pro-active manner. When we ‘love our fate’ in this way we are looking honestly at the challenges, mis-fortunes, limitations and difficulties of our life (as well as the good things), and opening to them. “This is my path and I embrace it fully and honestly, without looking away, or trying to run away, or moan. It is my path to own and build my inner strength, resilience and wisdom from.” Approaching our life in this way, we can be honest and at the same time joyful and accepting of all that we experience.

The Enemies of carelessness and indifference
To quote Franz Kafka: “You can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world, that is something that you are free to do, and it accords with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid.”
In the face of our own suffering and pain, and the over-whelming suffering of the world, it is easy and understandable when we try and numb ourselves, turn away, pretend we don’t care, and become indifferent. We pay a high price for this, for by cutting ourself off from caring we cut ourself off from joy and love and a multitude of other experiences that really put us in touch with why life is worth living. So here the meditation is to keep on remaining sensitive to the world, to care about ourself and others, and to commit to not numbing ourself. We can face our life and the world one day, one activity and one moment at a time, without getting overwhelmed, and make like Arthur Ashe; “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”

Friendship with the earth and sky
Humans are lonely creatures. We often seek company in order to relieve our loneliness but, as the saying goes, and I’ve heard many people say it about their experience “I’ve never felt so alone as when I’m in company”. One way to work on feeling less lonely that I’ve found tremendously useful is to simply be aware of the landscape that I live and move in, and feel myself to be in a supportive, friendly communion within. A simple meditation for this is to place your awareness on the horizon around you, sensing the sky and stars above and around you, and the living earth beneath you. As you breathe in, feel the energy of the earth and sky moving into you, and into your physical centre. As you breathe out, feel your energy expanding out from you centre out into the landscape. Feel yourself to be at home in the centre of the landscape you inhabit, feel it to be your friend. As you walk around in daily life, rather than just focusing on the pavement two metres in front of you, keep your head up a little, and be present to what’s around you, and of the horizon. Make friends with the earth sky and the things that you find therein…

Related article: Working Samadhi – The way of the mindful warrior

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

In a sentence: Establish the inner strength, skill and courage needed to make you resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and thrive in both times of adversity and times of peace.

Overview: The Warriors Creed is a poem by an unknown Samurai in the 14th century. It outlines a code of conduct and a state of presence based around a series of inner qualities that can be cultivated through mindful contemplation, then applied to our daily life…read full details

Saturday 23rd April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 9th April, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Saturday 23rd April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Tues 17th/Weds 18th May: Wesak meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

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