Category: Meditation and Psychology

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Inner vision Insight Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Stress Transformation Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

Discovering the pleasure of alone

“Enjoying your alone time then offers a whole new experience of being in the company of others. You can enjoy humans and other living beings for what they have to offer, and for the joy of connection, rather than the fear of loneliness”

Dear Integral Meditators, 
This week’s article explores our relationship to being alone, and how to move from being lonely to enjoying being alone. 
This Tuesday & Wednesday is the annual Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation , with the Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat on the Saturday. You are welcome to join either or both, live or online.

Finally, heads up for the next major weekly meditation series starting mid-April: Starts Tues/Weds April 11th/12th , 7.30-8.30pm – Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course

In the spirit of alone not lonely, 

Toby 

Discovering the pleasure of alone

In this article I want to focus on a few points that lie between going from feeling lonely to the pleasure of being alone. It’s a huge advantage to feel comfortable being alone, and is entirely complementary to a real and deep enjoyment of being in the company of others.

Mammalian and existential loneliness
As humans we are naturally a fairly lonely lot. On the mammalian level we crave the security of the pack, and tend toward a primal nervousness and vulnerability when alone because of this. We also have a natural and understandable desire to be seen and appreciated by others as an affirmation of our fundamental value. On a deeper existential level there is also the challenge of knowing that we are all alone in our experience, no one can truly know us and what we are going through. This is something that we tend to resist, trying very hard instead to been seen, heard and recognised by others.  All of this becomes particularly acute if our self-image, and therefore or basic sense of our value and capability is shaky.

Avoiding alone because of loneliness
For all the reasons above we can find ourselves avoiding being alone in order to avoid having to confront our loneliness. This then means that we miss out on all the opportunities to experience what you might think of as the joy of being alone. After all, people can be quite bothersome, and this can be compounded by our own neediness of them. These two together often results in us seeking people out, and then at the same time disliking being in their company, which is a bit of a lose-lose situation!

Reframing alone

  • Being alone is a way to re-connect to yourself, and make your own inner connection to yourself warm, healthy and stable
  • It’s time to catch up with yourself, heal your wounds and return to wholeness
  • Being alone is freedom to enjoy your own company and not be obligate to others for that time
  • It’s time to enjoy your creativity and imagine new possibilities
  • It’s time to recover your energy
  • It’s time to connect to silence, or at least less inner noise
  • It’s time for you to arrange your thoughts and thinking in a way that sets you up for success in life
  • And of course, it’s time to meditate and pursue your other interests

What other reasons can you think of to help you start looking forward to the next time you are alone?

Meditation and the freedom of alone
Meditation of course is, at least in part the art of enjoying being alone. Before you start to really enjoy being alone, meditation is a great place to start learning how to enjoy being alone, to notice and make peace with your loneliness, and the other reasons that compel you to seek out company as a way of avoiding yourself. If you sat for five-ten minutes each day for the next week, oriented your mindful attention around the ‘reframe list’ above you might find yourself enjoying it faster than you think.

Happy alone, happy in company
Enjoying your alone time then offers a whole new experience of being in the company of others. Rather than being there because you need to be, you can be there because you want to be in their company. You can enjoy humans and other living beings for what they have to offer, and for the joy of connection, rather than the avoidance of loneliness.

Related article: Independent interdependence

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Read full details


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tues 21st & Weds 22nd March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Saturday March 25th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Sat & Sunday 1st, 2nd April – Two day integral meditation retreat

Starts Tues/Weds April 11th/12th , 7.30-8.30pm – Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course

Saturday 15th April 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Tues 30th/Weds 31st May – Wesak meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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A Mind of Ease Enlightened love and loving Inner vision Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Motivation and scope Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

Wisdom around forgiveness 

“How many of the things that we have done or others have done to us were as a result of not knowing any better, or out of ignorance? If it was out of unknowing, then perhaps these are the things that we can start our forgiveness practice with”

Dear Integral Meditators,

 
This week’s article looks at forgiveness as an object of mindful attention and practice. As a state I find forgiveness a very ‘mind-cooling’ experinece, it’s nice just to sit in and feel your inner temperature drifting gently down!
If you enjoy the article, then do come along to this weeks Tuesday or Wednesday class where we will be taking forgiveness as our object of meditation. 

This week is also the start of a new mini-meditation series: The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for forgiveness, Eternal life & True inner fortitude. It promises to be a fun and informal way to deepen your meditation practice in unexpected and whimsical ways!

And finally, brief reminder of the Shadow meditation workshop on the 18th March, for the slightly braver and more adventurous….

In the spirit of acceptance & forgiveness, 

Toby 

Wisdom around forgiveness

Before you start reading the article, it might be worth just having a think about your current experience of forgiveness:

  • How would you define it?
  • What sort of feelings and emotions come up for you around forgiveness?
  • Are there people in your life, including yourself that you’d like to forgive?

If we think of forgiveness in broad terms as a ‘willingness or intention to let go of grudges for (perceived?) harm done, and for the anger and resentment accompanying it’. Then this, along with your own reflections gives us a basis for proceeding. Here are three mindful positions that you can take around forgiveness:

Awareness that you aren’t forgiving, haven’t forgiven, haven’t accepted
If you know you have resentment towards someone or yourself, before you start telling yourself that you need to do anything like forgiving, you need to know it is there and acknowledge that fact. If you know you are not ready to forgive, then accepting that is a good holding space. If for me the anger is still rising within me, my experience is that if I can simply acknowledge and flow with it for a while, I’ll start to move into the next stage naturally without forcing.

Accepting without forgiving
Working through your anger and resentment doesn’t necessarily mean you then forgive unconditionally. Sometimes it might feel more appropriate to focus on accepting what happened without necessarily forgiving unconditionally. It may be that you don’t feel it’s appropriate, or not your place to forgive, in which case an appropriate state of resolution and peace can be achieved through acceptance. You can read more about this position in my article ‘Acceptance or forgiveness – The difference’.

Choosing to forgive, choosing to understand
There are certain situations where you may feel that it is appropriate and beneficial to really emphasize forgiving and releasing properly. Sometimes this may be done conditionally, other times unconditionally. To do this involves:

  • Acknowledging the action
  • Accepting our feelings of anger and resentment around what has happened
  • Choosing to understand and forgive the person for their actions
  • Consciously letting go of our grudge, and wiping the slate clean in the relationship

These four stages may be something that we need to do more than once in order to really forgive, and it may be that we need to re-forgive a number of times over a period of time before we really sense that we have let go.
You might also consider that forgiveness has two major dimensions:

  • Applying it to ourselves
  • Applying it to others

Quite often the things we find really difficult to forgive in others are as a result of things that we have judged and not forgiven ourselves for. So if we are looking for a place to start, authentic forgiveness of self is a wise one!

So that’s most of what I wanted to say on the subject for now. Below is a short paragraph from ‘One Minute Wisdom’ by Anthony De Mello. How many of the things that we have done or others have done to us were as a result of not knowing any better, or out of ignorance? If it was out of unknowing, then perhaps these are the things that we can start our forgiveness practice with.

‘UNDERSTANDING’
“How shall I get the grace of never judging my neighbour?”
“Through prayer.”
“Then why have I not found it yet?”
“Because you haven’t prayed in the right place.”
“Where is that?”
“In the heart of God.”
“And how do I get there?”
“Understand that anyone who sins does not know what he is doing and deserves to be
forgiven.”

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Read full details


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday /Wednesday 23/24th March – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for forgiveness, Eternal life & True inner fortitude

Saturday 18th March – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

Tues 21st & Weds 22nd March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Saturday March 25th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Sat & Sunday 1st, 2nd April – Two day integral meditation retreat

Starts Tues/Weds April 11th/12th , 7.30-8.30pm – Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course

Tues 30th/Weds 31st May – Wesak meditation
 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Mindful Breathing Mindful Resilience Motivation and scope Presence and being present Shadow meditation

Breathing with your inner wounds

“When we breathe with our inner wounds, the primary activity is being present to our wounds in a compassionate manner. We start to notice that the state of being warmly present to the wound starts to ‘change’ it without us trying to change it per-se”

Dear Integral Meditators, 
Breathing with your wounds is a fundamental therapeutic technique that I have been using quite a lot recently. In the article below I explain the principles and how to try it for yourself. 
Some of the deeper principles behind the below meditation can be learned and practiced in the  Shadow meditation workshop on the 18th March. If you enjoy the article, you’d be welcome to attend. 

In the spirit of healing, 

Toby 

Breathing with your inner wounds

Breathing with your wounds is a fundamental therapeutic technique that I have been using quite a lot recently. The basic principle is very simple:
As you breathe, be aware of any inner wounds, conflict or unresolved energy within yourself.

  • As you breathe in, extend the fundamental warmth of your compassion toward, around and into that area of yourself
  • As you breathe out, sustain relaxed focus on this, exposing the wound or conflict to the warm, compassionate energy

You can do this as a formal, sit down meditation, or just take it as a mood and atmosphere that you return to regularly though-out the day. For example, today is Sunday, and the pace/cadence of the day is that things are relaxed enough for me to be doing this type of breathing as I cook or walk, or am in between activities or direct interactions with others.
You can make the way in which you extend your compassion very subjective as you breathe, or you can make it slightly more objective and detached. Either works well in different ways. See my article on Building functional and wise compassion.

Compassionate presence heals
With our inner wounds it often feels as if we need to ‘do’ something in order to fix our wound. When we breathe with our wounds, the primary activity is being present to our wounds in a compassionate manner. We start to notice that the state of being warmly present to the wound starts to ‘change’ it without us trying to change it per-se. I mentioned in the paragraph above that I enjoy practising this on a Sunday. On Sunday we have the opportunity to be present to all of the half-processed emotions that are within us from the events of the week. Where we notice there is a wound or conflict, we can acknowledge and breathe with it, which will help to process it, enabling us to reset effectively for the beginning of the next week.

Breathing with wounds in relationships
If your inner wounds and conflicts are with people, you can practice compassionate breathing whilst bearing in mind the other person or people involved. Again, you are not trying to ‘fix’ the relationship, just extending healing presence to it, and observing the change in your perception that starts to take place. I find this is often somewhat magical, as the tone of the relationship the next time I meet the person or people often changes for the better.

Final point, sometimes it may not be possible to extend warmth and compassion to yourself or the wound. If that’s the case, simply acknowledging it and breathing with it, letting it come and go as you breathe in and out can still be very helpful. Often doing this for a while will then enable you to access the compassionate awareness.

Related reading: Lazy compassion
Building Your Compassion and Reducing Your Own Suffering, Everyday

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 18th March – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

Tues 21st & Weds 22nd March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Saturday March 25th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Sat & Sunday 1st, 2nd April – Two day integral meditation retreat
 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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A Mind of Ease Concentration Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

On meditation & ‘tantric self-esteem’

“Essentially then, to sit in your own company with ‘tantric self-esteem’ means to relate with feeling of warm friendliness (self-respect) toward yourself, and a confidence in your fundamental efficacy or adequacy to life”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

Why is it so difficult to sit in the present? In my previous article on ‘Making it easier to focus deeply‘ I look at one aspect of this. In the article below I continue that exploration. 
If you enjoy the article, do pop down either live or online to the Tuesday or Wednesday evening meditation class, where we shall be exploring this theme experientially. 

In the spirit of presence,
 
Toby 

On meditation & ‘tantric self-esteem’
 
The problem: To be present means to become more self-aware
One of the challenges that we face with meditation is that it makes us more present, which in turn brings us into a more conscious relationship to ourself and what is going on within ourselves. Of course, that is also the benefit and opportunity of meditation. But, if you don’t have a great relationship to yourself, and if there are things about yourself in the moment (body awareness, thoughts, emotions) that make you uncomfortable, then trying to be more present often becomes the last thing that you want to be! Much more attractive to be lost in thought, distracted, not present.
So, in a sense the art of meditation begins with getting comfortable with yourself in the moment.
 
The characteristic of good quality self-esteem
Who feels comfortable with and by themselves in the moment? One answer to this is someone with healthy self-esteem. What does that mean? Here is a working definition of self-esteem from Nat Branden:
“Despite the abundance of books, studies, workshops and committees devoted to the subject of self-esteem, there is little agreement about what it means. Self-esteem has two essential components:

  • Self-efficacy: Confidence in the ability to cope with life’s challenges. Self-efficacy leads to a sense of control over one’s life.
  • Self-respect: Experience oneself as deserving of happiness, achievement and love. Self-respect makes possible a sense of community with others.

Self-esteem is a self-reinforcing characteristic. When we have confidence in our ability to think and act effectively, we can persevere when faced with difficult challenges. We succeed more often than we fail. We form more nourishing relationships. We expect more of life and of ourselves.
If we lack confidence, we give up easily, fail more often and aspire to less. We get less of what we want.”
Essentially here then, to sit in your own company with self-esteem means to sit with a feeling of warm friendliness (self-respect) toward yourself, and a confidence in your fundamental efficacy or adequacy to life.
 
Tantric self-esteem: Sitting ‘as if’
Tantric practice in meditation is essentially to act ‘as if’. You use your imagination to bring the desired result into the present. In this case we are concerned with self-esteem, so in meditation we sit down and become present to ourself ‘as if we already had healthy functional self-esteem’:

  • As we sit and become present to our body-mind in the moment we extend warm, friendly, respectful feelings to ourself, as if we deserved a healthy degree of basic joy and wellbeing
  • We sit with ourselves as if we were siting with someone we trusted and whose fundamental capability we feel confident in

If we sit in this way, then the present moment, and our awareness of ourselves becomes a comfortable, attractive place to be. It is a place where we feel safe and welcome, as if in the company of a really good friend.
Done in this way, meditation becomes much less effortful because our resistance to the present is much reduced, it’s a place we like to be rather than have a vested interest in avoiding!
 
Practice
You can try it for a few minutes a day, just sitting and breathing with yourself and your tantric self-esteem. If you can familiarize yourself with this feeling and experience, then you will start to notice it becoming a normal part of the way you relate to yourself. This is not just in meditation, but in your daily activities, your way of going, being and interacting with the world.

 © Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 11th February, 9am-12.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

In a sentence: Learn how to work creatively with uncertainty, imperfection and life’s inherent messiness to realize your leadership and self-leadership potential.  Manage stress and anxiety better using mindfulness in combination with the practical philosophy of Wabi-Sabi.

Wabi-Sabi is one of the definitive aesthetic movements to emerge from Japan. With origins starting in the early 15th Century and influenced from Zen Buddhism, Wabi-Sabi became an aesthetic found in the arts and crafts such as ceramic, flower arranging and interior design. It also became a practical philosophy and approach to life. Principle aspects of Wabi-Sabi include:

  • An appreciation of the beauty of the impermanent, the imperfect and incomplete
  • A recognition of the value of humility
  • A willingness to engage with the unconventional

Mindfulness is the art of attention training and presence….read full workshop details


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday 11th February, 9am-12.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Saturday February 26th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat
 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Breathing Presence and being present Uncategorized

Making it easier to focus deeply

“Our unresolved feelings and emotions in our body are like a spiky outer layer that repels our awareness, and prevents our mind form using the most obvious ‘landing place’ for attention to stabilize in the present. In this way we become alienated from our body and ‘locked out’ of stability in the present”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Why is it really so difficult for us to stabilize our focus? There are a number of reasons, but the article below outlines one and a method that we can use to make focusing much easier, quite quickly, with all the benefits that follow from it!

If you enjoy the article, then this weeks meditation classes on Tuesday & Wednesday will be focusing on it. You are welcome to join us, either live or online.

In the spirit of  warmth, 

Toby 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Special offer until 21st January: 15% off all 3 or 6 month programs!

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

Article: Making it easier to focus deeply

Sensory meditation, the gateway to stability
In general, the stable-est and easiest way to build basic mindful focus is to use your body and senses. Whenever your attention rests on your senses, by default your mind becomes less busy. This is because your body, breathing and senses are non-conceptual objects. They are always in the present moment and so, to the degree that we can get our attention on them we can become more naturally focused in the present.

The challenge with the body and senses as an object of meditation
So, in theory, simply focusing on your body and breathing should make it easy to become more present-focused quite rapidly. However, one reason that we find it quite (even very) difficult to focus on our body and breathing is because our body is where we store all our feelings and emotions on an energy level. If we have a lot of stress, conflicting emotion and tension in our body, then to become more present to our body means to become aware of all of these things. So, often unconsciously people avoid awareness of their body in order to avoid awareness of uncomfortable feelings. Our unresolved feelings and emotions in our body are like a spiky outer layer that repels our awareness, and prevents our mind form using the most obvious ‘landing place’ for attention to stabilize in the present. In this way we become alienated from our body and ‘locked out’ of stability in the present.

Committing to acceptance, warmth, friendliness
When we come to mindful awareness of the body then, we need to be ready to work with the feelings that we find in the body. The simplest way to do this is simply to commit to extending warmth and support to whatever feelings that we find in the body, even if they are uncomfortable. This way, rather than running away into our thoughts, we can relax into the body, even if some of the things that we find there are not always pleasant.

At home in the body, easy to focus
By extending warmth to the body and feelings in the body we can make it like a home; a place that we came back to and find rest and relief from the challenges of our daily life. Not only this, but we find that our mind becomes clearer and easier to focus, because it has a point of stability in the present. Overall, we start to feel stronger and clearer in the face of life and the things that it throws at us.  

Practical: Witnessing the body, like the sun
In meditation turn your attention specifically to the body in, let your attention rest upon and within your body like the sun shining its light. In this context the sun has two qualities:

  • It shines its light impartially and unconditionally
  • The light is warm

You can imagine this as if you were sitting outside with the sun shining down from outside you in the sky. Or, if you like you can imagine it sitting in your chest, shining light from within.
As you encounter your body with your sun like awareness, feel it melting away stress and uncomfortable feelings with its warmth. As you are doing this, some of the feelings will take a while, so don’t be in a hurry. Try and make your body a place that, even there are difficult feelings within it, you can come home to and be present in, finding stability, focus and warmth there.

Related reading: Witnessing like the sun
Your body of presence – Sitting sumo style

 © Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Biographical Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Presence and being present

Climbing, not carrying mountains

“When we focus on climbing, not carrying our mountains, we don’t run out of energy so fast because we are not carrying a heavy burden. we can persist over long periods of time without burning out. This in turn gives rise to tremendous self-confidence arising from our sense of resilience”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Wishing everyone all the very best for 2023! Below is an article that I wrote after a day of climbing in the jungle on new year’s eve. If you enjoy it then do come along (live or online) for the  2023 New year ‘Beginners mind’ meditation on the 3rd or 4th of Jan.

Also, if your looking for a way to go renew, deepen or make more complete your meditation practice, then the Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course beginning on 10th/11th Jan is a great option to consider!

In the spirit of  climbing & not carrying,

Toby

Climbing, not carrying mountains

Today, 31st December I spent the morning with my daughter climbing through the jungle up and down a small mountain in the Cameron highlands, Malaysia. Its always lovely how your mind clears and you really can settle into the rhythm of the moment, almost forgetting the rest of your life when you are in deeper nature. For me it invited the remembrance of really how to put things down and, traveling lightly, to return to a beginner’s mind, moving from step to step between the earth and sky, between the leaves and the breeze.
Once we got down from the peak it got me reflecting. With all the things going on in our life it can feel difficult sometimes to really enjoy our journey joyfully, with a beginner’s mind. This quote from Najwa Zebian is a great object of meditation to hold what you are going thru more lightly:
“These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb”
If our challenges and problems are mountains, then the job is to climb them, not carry them. If we make the mistake, as we often do, of carrying around our problem-mountains on our back, its no wonder we feel tired and overwhelmed. So, the first mindful object here is:
“Notice when you are carrying your mountains, and put them down!”
Once you have got a feel for this putting-down manouvre, really notice the contrast in your body-sense as well as your mindset between being a ‘mountain carrier’ and an agile, light ‘mountain-climber’. You want to stay with this second sensibility for most of the time, and let go of the first as much as possible. The second mindful object then becomes:
“Stick to the discipline of climbing (and descending) lightly”

‘Carrying rumination’
When you are trying to carry your mountains, the heaviness can invite rumination and regret:

  • “Why did I get myself into this?”
  • “I should have done this differently”
  • “Why me?”
  • “It’s unbearable, I can’t take it any more…It’s my fault/someone else’s” (there has to be someone to blame!)

‘Climbing solving’
When you are focused on climbing and not carrying, then as well as the feeling of lightness and durability that is gained, it is easier simply to focus, to quote Nat Branden “Not on who’s to blame, but what is to be done?”. Our challenges are problems that require some form of solution, or sometimes simply acceptance. If we aren’t weighted down by the carrying, then we can simply reflect upon what can be done, and do it! If a challenge turns out to be a tricky one, we can simply try and try again. We don’t run out of energy so fast because we are not carrying a heavy burden, we can persist over long periods of time without burning out. This in turn gives rise to tremendous self-confidence arising from our sense of resilience.

Some areas for mindful exploration:
Sitting quietly, breathe and relax into some of the themes in this piece:

  • These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb
  • Notice when you are carrying your mountains, and put them down
  • Stick to the discipline of climbing (and descending) lightly
  • Not on who’s to blame, but what is to be done?
  • Return to your beginner’s mind

Happy mountain climbing with your beginner’s mind!

Related reading: Combining your Beginners Mind & your Wise Mind

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Integral Meditation Practice (IMP) is a different kind of mind-body training, that aims to provide optimal inner peace, centeredness, energy and insight for the contemporary meditation practitioner. It combines eastern and western forms of practice, as well as ancient and modern ones into a series of integrative practices. The practices enable the meditator to remain resilient, energized and creative in the face of the multi-faceted challenges of modern life. These eight classes give an introduction to IMP, in a simple, accessible manner…see full details

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 ‘Beginners mind’ meditation

This meditation session is focused upon setting up the 2022 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2022

Read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 New year ‘Beginners mind’ meditation

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday January 28th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight Inner vision Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Breathing Presence and being present

Essential happiness – Accepting & receiving

“To breathe and know you are alive is a form of inner richness that is like a stream or river; you can just tune into the flow of it and immerse yourself, breath by breath”

Dear Integral Meditators,

For those of you celebrating it a beautiful Christmas. This weeks article & meditation is a nice way to relax into the year end space and enjoy what is present there for you to enjoy!

In the spirit of  accepting & receiving,

Toby

Essential happiness – Accepting & receiving

I titled an article earlier this year ‘happiness as acceptance’. In it I proposed that a lot of ‘being happy’ is not so much an act of explicit creating new things to be happy about in your life. Rather it is about the acknowledgment and acceptance of the things that are already there in your life that can act as a cause of happiness/wellbeing/contentment/richness. In this sense then happiness is an act of opening to and receiving; letting the good things in our life really ‘land’ in our direct experience. For example, today:

  • To have the leisure to write on the morning of Christmas eve
  • To have slept and dreamed well
  • I am in the presence of family
  • I have had a successful business year (by and large) in 2022
  • I have many stimulating ideas for adventures in 2023

These are all things that are right here that, in order to receive good energy from I just need to recognise and open to, to accept. If I can do this then I immediately connect to a source and a sense of wellbeing in a simple, non-complex and visceral way.

Why do we resist?

Its an interesting question to ask ourselves why exactly do we withhold from accepting the happiness that is ours for the taking? I suspect each one of us might have slightly different reasons for doing so according to our different histories. The main thing however is to start to see what is there. If we can do this then we can begin to open gradually to receive the richness that is, quite simply ours for the taking.

Essential happiness

Meditatively-speaking we can start to go beyond ‘reasons to be happy’ by understanding that there is a direct form of happiness that comes from being connected to life-in-the-moment. If as I breathe in, I can open to and receive the essential aliveness of myself, relaxing into that as I breathe out, I can connect myself to something non-verbal and experiential that you could call ‘experiential’ or existential happiness. To breathe and know you are alive is a form of inner richness that is like a stream or river; you can just tune into the flow of it and immerse yourself, breath by breath.

As a meditation you can do this in two stages if you like:

  1. Look for reasons that, if you recognize, acknowledge and receive them give rise to a feeling of happiness, as in the first paragraph above. Breathe and open to these for a while
  2. Then move on to working with receiving your aliveness as you breathe in, relaxing into it as you breathe out. Practice tuning into and immersing yourself in the essential happiness of bring alive and connected to life

With this meditation there need be very little striving, its 85% opening to and receiving and letting that be enough!

Related reading: Natural happiness

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Integral Meditation Practice (IMP) is a different kind of mind-body training, that aims to provide optimal inner peace, centeredness, energy and insight for the contemporary meditation practitioner. It combines eastern and western forms of practice, as well as ancient and modern ones into a series of integrative practices. The practices enable the meditator to remain resilient, energized and creative in the face of the multi-faceted challenges of modern life. These eight classes give an introduction to IMP, in a simple, accessible manner…see full details

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 ‘Beginners mind’ meditation

This meditation session is focused upon setting up the 2022 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2022

Read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday Dec 21st, 7.30-8.30pm – Free Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 New year ‘Beginners mind’ meditation

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday January 28th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership

Moving toward or away from reality?

“Good quality rational thinking is not rushed thinking, it is not emotional thinking, or impulsive thinking. You could say that rational thinking is mindful thinking, where we take the time to ‘reason’ things out in an appropriate way, and to really watch and observe”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article is an exploration of the theme of mindful thinking which, in the context of this article means thinking that takes us toward reality, rather than away from it! I hope you enjoy it.

In the new year starting Jan 10th 2023 I’ll be running the Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course . If your looking to really get your teeth into your meditation practice next year, this is a great way to start!

Closer to then, this Wednesday 21st is the Free Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only). All are welcome, its a nice way to mindfully wrap up the year and o on an inner winter-time journey!

In the spirit of  the solstice and wishing you a fulfilling and mindful Christmas,

Toby

 

Moving toward or away from reality? – Rational vs rationalization

With regard to the mind, of the main things we are trying to do in integrative mindfulness is to slow it down enough to make it conscious and high-quality in terms of its thinking. Once we have done this, we can then actually speed it up again and it will serve to reduce our stress and increase our effectiveness, rather than getting in the way!

Rationality – Thinking that takes us toward reality

Conscious, high-quality thinking really means rational thinking in the holistic sense of the word. It means thinking that is based around the observable facts that are available to us in any given situation. It means setting aside pre-conceived ideas and biases with regard how we think or want things to be. It is letting the objective evidence inform us as far as possible. Rationality is designed to take us toward reality, to help us understand it as clearly as is possible.

Rational thinking is trustworthy thinking. If we trust our own thinking process, we will gain confidence and trust in our mind and in our intelligence. It means being disciplined and rigorous in our observation of ourself and our world.

Good quality rational thinking is not rushed thinking, it is not emotional thinking, or impulsive thinking. You could say that rational thinking is mindful thinking, where we take the time to ‘reason’ things out in an appropriate way, and to really watch and observe.

Rationalization – Creating the fantasy that you want

Rationalization is the inverse of rationality. If we understand it, it really helps clarify what true rationality is. To ‘rationalize’ means to take an idea that we want to be true, and create reasons why it is true. It takes what we want and then uses the intellect to fabricate ideas to support it.

  • If I am angry, I can ignore the clear body-signals that I am angry, and tell myself that I am not angry because I am not the sort of person who gets angry in these situations
  • If I fail in a business venture I don’t want to be at fault, so I blame it all on fate and circumstance, rather than looking for evidence of mistakes I made and what I can learn from them
  • Out of fear I find reasons not to trust others, and use it to justify my own lack of trustworthiness, rather than assessing each person on their individual merits, and make myself accountable for my own trustworthiness.

Rationality takes me towards reality and makes me effective there. Rationalization often takes me away from reality and makes me less effective; my mind is somewhere other than my reality.

A four-question rationality process

This is a variation on a previous four-stage engaged mindfulness process that I created a while back. It is designed to put in place some of the essential thought strictures you need to be rational in a given situation. You can ask these four questions one after the other and they will lead you rationally from awareness to appropriate action, step by step

  • What are the facts that I need to be aware of here?
  • What are the realities here that I need to accept?
  • What do I need to take responsibility for here?
  • What do I need to do next to move toward the best possible result?

Final point here, to be rational really takes presence. You have to be present to what IS, to be rational! Wishing you well in the noble and often-not-easy pursuit of mindful rationality.

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Wednesday Dec 21st, 7.30-8.30pm – Free Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

In Celtic the name of the winter solstice is ‘Alban Arthan’ or ‘The Light of Arthur’. In this case Arthur refers to the Sun God who, at this time of maximum darkness in the year dies and is reborn in the world of nature and within ourselves. This will be a chance to reflect on the spiritual meaning and power of the winter season. We will look at the different ways our own inner light can ‘die and be re-born once more’….read full details

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Integral Meditation Practice (IMP) is a different kind of mind-body training, that aims to provide optimal inner peace, centeredness, energy and insight for the contemporary meditation practitioner. It combines eastern and western forms of practice, as well as ancient and modern ones into a series of integrative practices. The practices enable the meditator to remain resilient, energized and creative in the face of the multi-faceted challenges of modern life. These eight classes give an introduction to IMP, in a simple, accessible manner…see full details

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 New year releasing and inviting meditation

This meditation session is focused upon setting up the 2022 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2022

Read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday Dec 21st, 7.30-8.30pm – Free Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday January 28th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Energy Meditation Enlightened love and loving Inner vision Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope

Cultivating your positive imperfectionist

“Even when inactive our positive imperfectionist is a benevolent and supportive feeling/atmosphere in our psyche, encouraging us to get stuck in to the activities that we feel motivated around and not to live in fear of trying”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores some ways to begin freeing yourself from the ‘negative perfectionist, with the help of a new friend, the ‘Positive Imperfectionist’. Quite a lot of my coaching work with people relates to this area. With your PI in place it becomes surprisingly possible to do difficult and very worthwhile things. I hope you enjoy it! If you do, then then this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday class will be focused on this subject. You are welcome to join us, live or online!

Next week sees the beginning of the final class series of the year: Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life , do check it out!

In the spirit of positive-imperfectionism,

Toby

Cultivating your positive imperfectionist

The prevalence of negative perfectionism
If you have been around any kind of inner-development circles; meditation groups, psychotherapy, coaching etc, one of the phenomena that you may have come across will be the ‘negative perfectionist’. This is a part of many people’s psyche that is obsessed with doing things ‘correctly’ or flawlessly. This part of us is also very inclined to judge us quickly and harshly for any perceived failures flaws of mistakes that we make in our life. There are different forms of uncomfortable and sometimes excruciating psychological pain that it subjects us to as it points out the stupidity of our actions, the inappropriate things that we said, the things we could and should have done better. Even when inactive, it lives within our awareness as an ever-present threat, causing us to live in fear and discouraging us from doing things that be ‘risky’, might go wrong or otherwise expose our imperfection and how generally inadequate we are (!)

Some of the narratives of the negative perfectionist:

  • If you can’t do it right first time you may as well give up
  • You are your actions, if you mess one or more up, you are an idiot
  • People around you are judging you just as harshly as I (the negative perfectionist) am judging you, look how stupid you are making us look!
  • You are guilty until proven innocent, I’m expecting you to mess this up somehow
  • Why do you always find something for me to dislike about you
  • Don’t expose yourself to risk, better to hide than to fail
  • No matter what you achieve, it will never be enough for me
  • You are neither likable nor competent
  • You are isolated and alone

Do any of these sound familiar?

Your positive imperfectionist
For most people then it is well worth cultivating your positive imperfectionist. This is the inner voice within you that is ok with messy and imperfect. It encourages incremental improvement. It urges us to keep going even if we are not very good at something to begin with. It is forgiving and light, and quick to point out progress or improvement we make. It sees the value in failure, and sees mistakes as learning opportunities. Even when inactive it is a benevolent and supportive feeling/atmosphere in our psyche, encouraging us to get stuck in to the activities that we feel motivated around

Working on the narratives of the positive imperfectionist

  • If at first you don’t succeed, try again, having learned from the last attempt
  • You are not your actions, your fundamental value is secure
  • You have friends and encouragers around you, listen to them, feel supported
  • You are innocent until proven guilty! You are accountable for your actions, but don’t think failing sometimes makes you weak!
  • I believe in you
  • Keep trying, no risk no reward
  • You are already enough, try and see how much more you become
  • You are likeable
  • You are not alone

Any one of this last set of sentences can be an object of meditation. Internalizing them one by one will help you recognize and consolidate the voice of your positive imperfectionist. What are you waiting for?

Related articles: Mindful Optimism

​© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Dates and titles:
Tues 23/Weds24th November, Class 1 – Everyday depth: being in the world but not of the world
Tues 6/Weds 7th November, Class 2 – Going within: The cave of the heart
Tues 13/Weds 14th June, Class 3 – The experiential self: Meditation, vividness, charisma, ego
Read full details…

Saturday November 26th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat
In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practice

Saturday November 12th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Saturday November 26th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease creative imagery Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present Zen Meditation

Cloud-watching: Primarily present, secondarily thinking

“One of the main functions of mindfulness and meditation is to make your way of engaging with life primarily experiential, and secondarily conceptual”

Dear Toby,

Why should we be interested in meditating? This weeks article gives some thought to this with the aim of helping us re-connect to our ‘experiencer’. If you enjoy it then this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday class will be focused on this subject. You are welcome to join us, live or online!

Also, final shout out for this Saturdays Zen deep-dive mini-retreat!

In the spirit of experiential cloud-watching,

Toby

Cloud-watching: Primarily present, secondarily thinking

One of the main functions of mindfulness and meditation is to make your way of engaging with life primarily experiential, and secondarily conceptual. What do I mean by this?
Starting out in childhood we were all primarily present moment oriented. We could spend hours being present as we played or interacted with others. Mostly we were present to what was there, and occasionally we began to think and conceive ideas.
As we were educated, the system that we were educated in was and is primarily verbal-linguistic in nature; It’s about developing the power of our thoughts and concepts. By the time we come out of our education, secondary or tertiary, we tend to see our world primarily through a conceptual lens. Its what we think about life, what we believe about it that starts to dominate and often determine our experience. We become primarily thinking and conceptual, and secondarily experiential beings. The problem with this is that we then lose touch with our direct experience, we spend most of our time literally ‘lost in thought’ and less and less time actually living and experiencing life. As a result, our life lacks vitality and vivid-ness, because we experience it conceptually, second hand, rather than experientially, first hand.

Two types of purpose in life
One way of finding purpose in life is to reflect upon your values and then set up goals that will help you to achieve things in the future that are congruent with those values and that will therefore make you happy.
A second approach to purpose is to understand that, regardless of your goals, the main meaning in life from an experiential point of view is to feel and experience being alive. If you lack this, then you lack the main experience that gives fulfilment, even if we have meaningful goals and projects.
These two purposes are really complementary, it is ‘both and’ rather than ‘either or’. However, without the second, the first will be empty. To practice mindfulness of the moment serves to ensure that we remain in touch with the experience of being alive, being fed by life-in-the-moment as we journey toward our goals.
The proposition would be this: Even if some of your life goals are not fulfilled, if you live fully and experientially in the moment then you will feel that your life has been a full, vivid and fulfilling place, that you have not wasted your time thinking of being somewhere else whilst it passed you by!

Cloud-watching: Experiencing your thoughts rather than being lost in them
One way to start coming back to the moment is to learn to watch your thoughts whilst grounded in the present, rather than being lost in them. To do this:

  • Sit and ground yourself in your body as you breathe. Feel as if it is like a mountain, solid, stable and immovable in the present moment. Anchor your attention to it, and your experience of the here and now
  •  Now start to watch your thoughts from the stability of the present moment. If your mind is like the sky, the thoughts are like clouds coming and going. If there are many cloud-thoughts, stay stable and just watch. If there are fewer with some spaces in between, then enjoy the combination of thoughts and spaces between the thoughts (like the sky between the clouds)
  • Notice the clouds to make you more present, not take you away from it!

When you watch your thoughts and the spaces between your thoughts, they simply remind you of what is in the present. You turn them from something that takes you away from your immediate experience to something that helps you connect to it. You become primarily an experiencer of the present, and secondarily a thinker!

Related articles: Envisioning & presence – Climbing the mindful mountain
Body-mountain, thought-cloud, mind-sky

​© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Saturday November 12th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Session overview: These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart.. read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practice

Saturday November 12th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Saturday November 26th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology