Category: Meditation techniques

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A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Hopeless relief & the brightness of optimism

“With hopelessness in place, we can then cultivate it’s ‘bright twin’, balanced optimism. It is remarkable how coming back to and centering yourself in a state of optimism can change your sense of how your life is going, and your sense of what is possible”

Dear Integral Meditators

This weeks article pairs hopelessness and optimism into a dynamic partnership that we can cultivate together to increase our energy levels, and also to make our energy more balanced and consistent. If you enjoy it, then do consider coming along live or online to this Tuesday & Wednesdays Integral Meditation class, where we will be taking it as our object of meditation. 

In the spirit of hopeless optimism, 
 
Toby 

Hopeless relief & the brightness of optimism
 
Appreciating hopelessness
Hopelessness for most of us has a strong negative connotation, and exists in our mind along with things like despair, depression, giving up and so on. As an object of meditation, we can clarify what we are working with here by defining hopelessness as simply ‘the absence of hoping for anything’. Understood this way, the practice of hopelessness then becomes the discipline of not hoping for anything, and therefore allowing our mind and energy to rest, relax and become fully present, absolutely at ease in the not-wishing/hoping to be somewhere else.
If you reflect upon it, much of the ups and downs in our life, the anxiety, the dis-ease comes from the hopes that we have in the face of the ongoing uncertainties. Often-times we get most hurt or have the most trouble recovering when one of our dearest-held hopes is not fulfilled. So, with hopelessness we are learning not to be beholden to our hopes, and also the fears that come from our hopes. We relax into the present and a type of genuine liberation that comes from strategically putting down our hopes for a while and becoming a hopeless person! Once you get a taste for how balancing hopelessness can be, you will start to feel real enthusiasm for it as an object of mindful attention.
 
Balanced optimism
With hopelessness in place, we can then cultivate it’s ‘bright twin’, balanced optimism. Here are a few of the basic characteristics of optimism, taken from my past article on ‘mindful optimism’:

  • Joyful-ness, enthusiasm
  • A sense of being supported by tangible and intangible forces in the world
  • The feeling of a bright and possibly exciting future ahead
  • The reasonable expectation good things are going to happen to you, both now and in the future
  • An expansive, bright, and comfortable feeling in the body, as if you belong in the world, and you can operate there with ease

It is remarkable how coming back to and centring yourself in a state of optimism can change your sense of how your life is going, and your sense of what is possible.
 
Putting them together
In a meditation you can practice putting these two together as a complementary pair. For example, if you had a twenty-minute meditation you could spend:

  • Five minutes putting down all hopes and relaxing into hopelessness
  • Five minutes opening to optimism, both the feeling in general, and also specific areas and instances in your life where you want to cultivate it as a supporting state
  • Five minutes return to hopelessness
  • Ending with five minutes back to optimism

As you go about your daily life, you can use them both to help each other; balanced presence through hopelessness, bright optimism to balance it out.
 
Related reading: Hopefully hopeless
Mindful optimism
Optimistic stoicism

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 13th May 9am-12.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop

Overview: This workshop aims to answer the following questions: 

  • How can I keep myself strong, directed & happy when other people around me are negative, unhappy or even consciously or unconsciously verbally/psychologically attacking me?
  • When I am under stress and can feel my own negativity, anxiety, depression, anger & so on surfacing, how can I defend myself effectively?
  • How can I cultivate awareness of the way environments and places affect my energy & protect myself from unwanted influences?
  • Is it possible to develop my own ‘psychic faculties’ & ‘inner senses’ in a way that is experiential, useful & genuine without having to buy into any form of ‘new age metaphysics’?

Read full details…


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Weds, 7.30-8.30pm – Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course

Saturday 13th May 9am-12.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop

Tues 30th/Weds 31st May – Wesak meditation

Saturday May 27th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Presence and being present

Opening & closing yourself to energy

“‘In what way have I been exchanging energy with people places and things today, and have I found it energizing or draining?’ is a useful question to ask at the end of the day and reflect upon”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article continues the theme from the last few weeks regarding awareness of your energy body. Below we look at ways of opening and closing your energy to other people and what is around you.
If you enjoy it do consider coming along to the Tues or Weds class this week, as it will be part of the subject of the session.
On the subject of energy generally,  heads up for this Saturday’s Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat.
Specifically around managing difficult or chaotic energy, heads up for next months Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop.

In the spirit of opening & closing, 
 
Toby 

Opening & closing yourself to energy
 
Awareness around energy exchange
We are exchanging energy with other people, our environment, other living creatures all the time, and on many different levels. Simply becoming aware of this noticing this exchange is a way of being mindful that reveals many insights when we do it. ‘In what way have I been exchanging energy with people places and things today, and have I found it energizing or draining?’ is a useful question to ask at the end of the day and reflect upon.
 
Open and closed as a temperament
People are by temperament a little more ‘open’ or ‘closed’. If you are open and someone gives you a complement, likely you will enjoy and feel energised by it. However, if someone criticizes you or bad mouths you, you will likely be quite affected too. Conversely, someone who is more closed will not get much out of a complement, as they aren’t so receptive to it. However, the closed person is less affected by criticism and attacks than the open person.
 
Opening and closing your energy field
Ideally it is good to be able to ‘open’ or ‘close’ your energy field at will. This way when you have good energy coming your way you can enjoy it, whilst also being able to close to and ‘block’ difficult or chaotic energy when it comes your way. This way we can say ‘yes’ to energy exchange when we want, and ‘no’ when we don’t, creating a clear boundary between our energy and the energy around us.
 
Solidifying & brightening your energy field
If you imagine your energy body as being the same shape and size as your physical body, inhabiting the same space, and radiating an aura like an egg or sphere, perhaps a meter/half-a metre around you. See two energy centres in this body:

  • One in your lower belly, around your sacral plexus. Feel this centre to contain mainly the energies of the earth and water elements. Feel this centre to also be connected to the energies of the earth and moon.
  • In the centre of your chest, visualize the second centre. Feel it to contain mainly the elements of fire and air, and to be connected to the energies of the sun and stars.

Breathe for a while with both energy centres. As you breathe with the lower energy centre, feel your energy body becoming strong, stable and ‘dense’. As you breathe with the upper energy centre, feel it to becoming bright and energetic. The effect of working with them both is that you have an energy body and field that is both stable and strong, as well as bright and energetic.
 
Protecting the boundary, a visualization
Now imagine your energy field has a boundary, like a bubble of light around it. You can visualize it as having two features to help you open and close your energy:

  1. At the front of the bubble is a point that can open and close, like the iris of an eye. When you are with someone/a group of people that you feel comfortable exchanging energy with, you can visualize it opening to let in their energy as you interact with them. If you are with a group/individual where you are not comfortable, you can close it, gently but firmly blocking the energy exchange.
  2. Subtle energy might be thought of as consisting of five subtle aspects of the five elements, earth, water, fire, air and consciousness. If you are in a place or neighbourhood where you don’t feel comfortable you can visualize five-pointed stars spinning around the surface of the bubble of light around you, blocking any negative or imbalanced energy from entering your field. The stars have five points symbolizing the five elements, and you can direct them to any part of the surface of your bubble that you want. You can also visualize them ‘cutting’ any cords of energy from people or the environment that have attached themselves to your filed.

Ok, so there are a few pointers and practice points to bear in mind around opening and closing your energy. You may or may not be familiar with the concepts and ideas used, but do try them out. Sometimes we learn to understand how something works by doing it!
 
Related article: Finding energy through meditation – Aspects of meditating with your energy body 

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

 Tues/Weds, 7.30-8.30pm – Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course

Saturday April 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Saturday 13th May 9am-12.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop

Tues 30th/Weds 31st May – Wesak meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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A Mind of Ease creative imagery Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Inner vision Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation techniques mind body connection mindful dreaming Presence and being present Primal Spirituality Qi gong Tree of Yoga

Meditating with the energy of trees & plants

“Trees & plants have a living presence that is almost entirely unpolluted by any kind of thinking or conceptuality. As a result, contact with them helps us get out of our head and into our being”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

Trees and plants are aspects of our environment that can really help us with our meditation practice, and our discovery of good quality presence. This weeks article looks at different ways of relating to trees and plants in a meditative way. 
If you enjoy it do consider coming along to the Tues or Weds class this week, as it will be part of the subject of the sessions.

In the spirit of plant allies, 
 
Toby 

Meditating with the energy of trees & plants

The peaceful allies in your neighbourhood and on your balcony
In your neighbourhood there will be people. They will be thinking quite a lot, you can talk to them, some of them might make you happy, some might be irritating. Not many of them help you to be still and connect to peace. In your neighbourhood and garden, you will also find trees and plants. If you make the time to connect with them, sitting nearby them, sensing their energy, getting a sense of their presence, you may be surprised to find how quickly they help you to find a sense of inner stillness. All of them have a living presence that is almost entirely unpolluted by any kind of thinking or conceptuality. As a result, contact with them helps us get out of our head and into our being. As Eckhart Tolle says:
 
‘Look at a tree, a flower, a plant.
Let your awareness rest upon it.
How still they are, how deeply rooted in being.
Allow nature to teach you stillness.
When you look at a tree and perceive its stillness, you become still yourself.
You connect with it at a very deep level.
You feel a oneness with whatever you perceive through stillness.
Feeling the oneness of yourself with all things is true love.’
 
Creating a tree grove
As well as connecting to trees in the immediate vicinity, you can also connect to trees and plants inwardly. When I was doing my Druid training, one of the central practices that we had was to create an inner tree grove where we would imagine sitting in meditation before doing our studies or engaging in other meditation exercises. This grove can be one that you know in the outer world and you imagine yourself traveling there in meditation. Alternatively, it could be one that you create with your imagination, or that you take from a dream experience. Either way, sitting within a grove or group of trees in meditation can be a very powerful way of moving into a deeply still and yet energising state. You can either do it as a meditation in itself, or you can use it as a preparation for a subsequent meditation.
 
Meditating with the energy bodies of trees and plants
You can meditate with the energy bodies of trees in a way that is also very strengthening. It can be done either sitting outside with trees of plants, of in an imagined group of trees as in the grove practice above. Here are a few pointers for how it can be done:

  • Begin by simply acknowledging the presence of the tree/s or plants, either in the physical or inner world
  • Sense your own energy body, same shape and size as your physical body, inhabiting the same space, but made of light and energy. Sense the light body of the tree/s you are with. Feel their roots reaching down into the earth, drawing light and energy from the body of the earth up into the trunk of the tree. Feel the light and energy from the earth rising into your body also.
  • See and feel the branches of the trees reaching up into the air, drawing down the energy of the sky and stars into the trunk. As they do so, feel the energy of the sky and stars flowing down into the crown of your head, lighting up and energizing your light body.
  • Let the flow of energy in the trees and the flow of energy in your body enhance each other as you breathe and relax. You can move the energy wherever you like in your body, according to the part you feel might feel healing or balancing.

If you like you can combine this meditation with elements of the Linking your energy body to environmental energies from my previous article. There is plenty of room for play, improvisation and enjoyment.
 
Related article: Standing like a tree

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tues/Weds April 11th/12th , 7.30-8.30pm – Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course

Saturday 15th April 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday April 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Saturday 13th May 9am-12.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop

Tues 30th/Weds 31st May – Wesak meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Primal Spirituality

Finding energy through meditation – Aspects of meditating with your energy body

“It’s really worth spending time being present to and mindful of your physical body. If our sense of our physical body is as ‘low resolution’ and disconnected as many peoples are, then awareness of the energy body is going to feel quite abstract“

Dear Integral Meditators, 

My series on Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course starts this week. It looks at key states of mind and body that we can cultivate in meditation to create more energy consistently. The article below is a way of beginning work on your ‘basic energy body’. If you enjoy it do consider coming along to the Tues or Weds class this week, as it will be the subject of the sessions.

And final reminder of the Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop this weekend!

In the spirit of energy, 
 
Toby 

Finding energy through meditation – Aspects of meditating with your energy body (part 1)
 
Working on and with an awareness of your energy body can be one of the most transformative and catalytic aspects of a meditation practice. In the sections below I outline some basic pointers for meditation on your energy body. Each is a domain by itself, but put together integrally these body offer a rich way of working with your energy body.
 
Cultivating awareness of your physical body
Before trying to become aware of your energy body, which is a relatively subtle object, it’s really worth spending time being present to and mindful of your physical body. If our sense of our physical body is as ‘low resolution’ and disconnected as many peoples are, then awareness of the energy body is going to feel quite abstract.
 
Basic awareness of your energy body
To quote directly from my previous article on ‘Regenerating within your energy body’: “For the purposes of this meditation, consider your energy body as being essentially the biological life-force that flows through and radiates from your physical body, but then includes the emotional, mental and consciousness dimensions within you. It can be imagined simply as a body of light, same shape and size as your physical body, and occupying the same space. You can also imagine it as having an energy field around your body, like an egg or sphere of light. Beginning the meditation includes simply relaxing and gently sensing into your energy body, getting a feeling for it as you breathe”.
Once familiar with with your basic energy body, you can then work on awareness that other people and the objects in your environment have energy bodies, and practice working with an awareness of these. You can also do this as a walking meditation form, not just as a sitting one.
 
Linking your energy body to environmental energies
Essentially, we live our life within four ‘spheres’ of energy, the spheres of the earth, moon, sun and stars. Linking our energy body to these four can be done as follows:

  • Be aware of the energy of an ocean of light and energy in the centre of the Earth beneath you, where the solar core is located. Visualize a stream of that light and energy flowing up towards you, and connecting with you through the soles of your feet, or point of contact with the earth
  • Feel this earth light flowing into your legs and feet, energising and relaxing them as it does so. Think to yourself ‘My feet and legs are in the earth’. Have a sense of your body being connected too and in relationship to the living earth beneath you. Feel also the earth element within your body coming into balance.
  • Feel the light from the earth rising into your hips and belly. See a ball of moon-light building in your sacral-plexus; centre of the belly just above your hips. Think to yourself ‘My hips and belly are in the moon’ Have a sense of your hips and sacral plexus being connected too and in relationship with the living moon orbiting around the earth. Feel also the water element within your body coming into balance.
  • Feel the light from the earth rising into your heart & chest. See a ball of solar-light building in your heart centre. Think to yourself ‘My heart and chest are in the sun’ Have a sense of your heart and chest being connected too and in relationship to the living sun around which we are orbiting. Feel also the fire element within your body coming into balance.
  • Feel the light from the earth rising into your head. See a ball of star-light building in your head centre, middle of the brain. Think to yourself ‘My head is in the stars’ Have a sense of your head and neck being connected too and in relationship to the living stars and universe of which our own earth, moon and solar system partakes. Feel also the air element within your body coming into balance.

 
When you have finished, simply see the energy of the star, sun and moon centres in your body reducing as you gently re-orientate around your physical body and bring the meditation to a close, the duration of the meditation can be as short as 2-5 minutes to connect you to and activate your energy body. It can also be done as a longer form where you are combining energy body awareness with stillness.
Once you have done this a few times in a static position, you can try doing it outside, and even as a walking meditation. This can be powerful as you are interacting more explicitly with your direct environment when you walk in it.  
 
Related article: Aspects of environmental meditation

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tues/Weds April 11th/12th , 7.30-8.30pm – Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course

Saturday 15th April 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday April 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Tues 30th/Weds 31st May – Wesak meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation techniques mind body connection Presence and being present Zen Meditation

Eternal life (& where to find it)

“By dropping time and your sensory experience regularly, you gently start to acquaint yourself with life beyond form and time, the life eternal that you and all of us are participating in simultaneously with our everyday ever-changing life”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article looks at a perennial meditation theme, and one closely tied up with the meaning of liberation and also very effective overall relaxation and stress transformation. 
If you enjoy the article then do feel free to join us for this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class, where we shall be taking it as out subject for meditation.
The two week integral meditation retreat this weekend is currently full, if you would like to be on the wait-list just let me know. 

In the spirit of the life-eternal, 
 
Toby 

Eternal life (& where to find it)
 
From a meditation point of view finding and ‘achieving’ eternal life is very simple. By ‘eternal life’ here we mean that which is not subject to the normal processes of living and dying, and that abides in an unchanging manner. It is a place where all problems are solved, all conflicts harmonized. It is a place of ‘permanent’ lasting peace. In the great wisdom traditions, the realization (not ‘achievement’) of eternal life is synonymous with the attainment of liberation or nirvana.
 
So where do we find it? Curiously we find it sitting under our noses, but where? If you look at each moment or occasion of your consciousness you will find three aspects:

  • A sensory dimension, what you see, feel smell touch etc…
  • A mental dimension, what you think, feel (emotionally) and imagine about it as it is happening
  • A consciousness dimension – That which is observing and experiencing the mind and senses

If you observe the first two dimensions, sense and mind you’ll see that they are changing continuously. They move thru continuous cycles of ‘life & death’, of coming and going.  If you turn your attention to the third dimension, consciousness itself, you will probably notice it’s a little more difficult to observe. This is because there is nothing to it in terms of form and movement; its just a formless, timeless ‘containing space’. It holds space for the impermanent comings and goings of our mind and senses.
Because consciousness itself is formless, it is timeless. Because it is timeless, it is eternal. So, whenever you ‘drop into’ the experience of consciousness itself, you find eternal life there and also that part of you that is eternal. By eternal we mean not beginning, not ending, not subject to change. Consciousness is just a living empty space, nothing there, but pregnant with all possibilities.
In his short story entitled ‘Illusion’ Anthony De Mello gives a few pointers about where to find eternal life:
 
ILLUSION
“How shall I attain Eternal Life?”
“Eternal Life is now. Come into the present.”
“But I am in the present now, am I not?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because you haven’t dropped your past.”
“Why should I drop my past? Not all of it is bad.”
“The past is to be dropped not because it is bad but because it is dead.”
 
So, to find eternal life (which is found in the state of consciousness itself) we need to drop time, past and also future. This helps still our mind enough to start to see consciousness in the present.
Another thing we need to do it withdraw our attention from our senses. As Lao Tzu says in verse 12 of the Tao Te Ching:
 
“Colours blind the eye.
Sounds deafen the ear.
Flavours numb the taste.
Thoughts weaken the mind.
Desires wither the heart.
 
The master observes the world
But trusts his inner vision.
He allows things to come and go.
His heart is open as the sky”
(Chapter 12 Steven Mitchell translation)
 
So, to find eternal life experientially in meditation you need to drop the past and future, withdraw your attention from the senses and allow your perception of consciousness itself to start to gradually come into focus. In doing so you gently start to acquaint yourself with life beyond form and time, the life eternal that you and all of us are participating in simultaneously with our everyday ever-changing life. In this sense ‘heaven’ is not something that we may or may not experience after our death. As Thich Nhat Hanh says “The pure land is now or never”. You ether see it or you don’t. If you are waiting and hoping to encounter it sometime in the future, you’ve missed it already, its right here where it always has been.

Related reading: That which solves all your problems and none

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Sat & Sunday 1st, 2nd April – Two day integral meditation retreat

Starts Tues/Weds April 11th/12th , 7.30-8.30pm – Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course

Saturday 15th April 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday April 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Tues 30th/Weds 31st May – Wesak meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Inner vision Insight Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Stress Transformation Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

Discovering the pleasure of alone

“Enjoying your alone time then offers a whole new experience of being in the company of others. You can enjoy humans and other living beings for what they have to offer, and for the joy of connection, rather than the fear of loneliness”

Dear Integral Meditators, 
This week’s article explores our relationship to being alone, and how to move from being lonely to enjoying being alone. 
This Tuesday & Wednesday is the annual Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation , with the Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat on the Saturday. You are welcome to join either or both, live or online.

Finally, heads up for the next major weekly meditation series starting mid-April: Starts Tues/Weds April 11th/12th , 7.30-8.30pm – Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course

In the spirit of alone not lonely, 

Toby 

Discovering the pleasure of alone

In this article I want to focus on a few points that lie between going from feeling lonely to the pleasure of being alone. It’s a huge advantage to feel comfortable being alone, and is entirely complementary to a real and deep enjoyment of being in the company of others.

Mammalian and existential loneliness
As humans we are naturally a fairly lonely lot. On the mammalian level we crave the security of the pack, and tend toward a primal nervousness and vulnerability when alone because of this. We also have a natural and understandable desire to be seen and appreciated by others as an affirmation of our fundamental value. On a deeper existential level there is also the challenge of knowing that we are all alone in our experience, no one can truly know us and what we are going through. This is something that we tend to resist, trying very hard instead to been seen, heard and recognised by others.  All of this becomes particularly acute if our self-image, and therefore or basic sense of our value and capability is shaky.

Avoiding alone because of loneliness
For all the reasons above we can find ourselves avoiding being alone in order to avoid having to confront our loneliness. This then means that we miss out on all the opportunities to experience what you might think of as the joy of being alone. After all, people can be quite bothersome, and this can be compounded by our own neediness of them. These two together often results in us seeking people out, and then at the same time disliking being in their company, which is a bit of a lose-lose situation!

Reframing alone

  • Being alone is a way to re-connect to yourself, and make your own inner connection to yourself warm, healthy and stable
  • It’s time to catch up with yourself, heal your wounds and return to wholeness
  • Being alone is freedom to enjoy your own company and not be obligate to others for that time
  • It’s time to enjoy your creativity and imagine new possibilities
  • It’s time to recover your energy
  • It’s time to connect to silence, or at least less inner noise
  • It’s time for you to arrange your thoughts and thinking in a way that sets you up for success in life
  • And of course, it’s time to meditate and pursue your other interests

What other reasons can you think of to help you start looking forward to the next time you are alone?

Meditation and the freedom of alone
Meditation of course is, at least in part the art of enjoying being alone. Before you start to really enjoy being alone, meditation is a great place to start learning how to enjoy being alone, to notice and make peace with your loneliness, and the other reasons that compel you to seek out company as a way of avoiding yourself. If you sat for five-ten minutes each day for the next week, oriented your mindful attention around the ‘reframe list’ above you might find yourself enjoying it faster than you think.

Happy alone, happy in company
Enjoying your alone time then offers a whole new experience of being in the company of others. Rather than being there because you need to be, you can be there because you want to be in their company. You can enjoy humans and other living beings for what they have to offer, and for the joy of connection, rather than the avoidance of loneliness.

Related article: Independent interdependence

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Read full details


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tues 21st & Weds 22nd March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Saturday March 25th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Sat & Sunday 1st, 2nd April – Two day integral meditation retreat

Starts Tues/Weds April 11th/12th , 7.30-8.30pm – Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course

Saturday 15th April 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Tues 30th/Weds 31st May – Wesak meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Building functional & wise compassion, systematically

“Good quality compassion contains within it the ability to experience both its subjective and objective aspects in a balanced way, and to be wisely present to the pain of the world and of ourselves”

Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article outlines a practice that we can do to activate and explore our wise compassion. At the bottom of the article you can also find the links to a number of related articles on compassion. 
The new workshops and class details are out. Amongst other things we have the Shadow meditation workshop on the 18th March, which is a powerful way of integrating and making use of the parts of yourself that currently seem to be getting in the way of your progress… 

In the spirit of compassion, 

Toby 

Building functional & wise compassion, systematically

Compassion is a powerful driving force within us that, if we cultivate in a balanced way, can be a transformative and energizing force in our lives. It is built of a number of parts:

  • Our sense of natural warmth extending outwards toward others and toward ourself
  • The recognition of the suffering of others, of ourself and in the world
  • The desire where possible to make a difference and relieve that suffering

We can experience compassion in an intensely subjective way, where the existence suffering is felt very personally. We can also experience it more objectively, being present to the suffering of ourself and others with a sense of distance and perspective. When compassion is not balanced it can lead us to either:

  • Experience the pain of self and others too subjectively in a way that unsettles and confuses us
  • Or to detach from the pain, and feeling disconnected to the pain of the world, others and ourself

Good quality compassion contains within it the ability to experience both its subjective and objective aspects in a balanced way, and to be wisely present to the pain of the world in a way that when something can be done, we do it. If not, we can still extend our presence and compassion gently and warmly.
The exercise below, done in six stages, is designed to build a functional, robust and wise compassion if we practice it consistently. We begin by practicing simple single-pointedness and field awareness before moving onto compassion itself. If you spent three minutes on each position, this would be a 21minute meditation. You can lengthen or shorten it by adjusting the amount of time on each section.

Position 1– Building single-pointedness around the breathing & body
Here we are just practising focusing on one thing, the breathing within the body, to the exclusion of all other things within the field of our awareness.
Position 2 – Practising field awareness
Panning back from your breathing and observing the totality of your field of awareness with curiosity, warmth & care
Position 3– Subjective self-compassion
Observing and moving into your own pain (could be an aspect of your physical pain, emotional or psychological), close up and personally, breathing with it, letting it come and go
Position 4– Objective self-compassion
Observing and detaching from your pain, viewing it from a distance and with warm impersonality
Position 5 – Subjective compassion for others
Observing and moving into the pain of others, close up and personally, breathing with it, letting it come and go
Position 6– Objective compassion for others
Observing and detaching from the pain of others, viewing it from a distance and with warm impersonality
Position 7 – Integration and active contemplation time around the previous six stages

If you practice this meditation a few times it will enable you to get a feel for both what balanced subjective compassion feels like, and balanced objective compassion feels like. It will then enable you to start moving organically between these two positions according to your needs and circumstances, keeping your compassion both functional and wise as you deploy it within your life.


Related reading: Single-pointedness & going with the flow
Karuna – Compassion arising from wisdom
Compassionate presence, awakened action

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday 18th March – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

Tues 21st & Weds 22nd March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Saturday March 25th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Sat & Sunday 1st, 2nd April – Two day integral meditation retreat
 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Inner vision Life-fullness Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Primal Spirituality Qi gong

Energizing stillness – Regenerating within your energy body

“You could consider your energy body as being essentially the biological life-force that flows through and radiates from your physical body, but then includes the emotional, mental and consciousness dimensions within you”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article looks at how to use meditation as a way of regenerating your energy pro-actively, with minimal effort! It part of an ongoing train of exploration in my own practice around how to build energy in meditation ergonomically and effectively. 

My monthly Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat on 25th February is now full, waiting list only. I have added an extra session on Sunday the 26th for those who may want to participate.

In the spirit of regeneration, 
 
Toby 

Energizing stillness – Regenerating within your energy body
 
The below meditation is a way to regenerate your energy more powerfully when you are feeling tired or low energy. It is designed to be low-intensity and relaxing, as well as ‘plugging you in’ to sources of energy that can start to percolate through your body and energy system as you relax. It’s based around principles of Qi gong (eastern) and Tree of Life (western) meditation practices that I have done for many years, but you don’t need to know anything about these practices the meditation. Once you are familiar with it, you can set it up at the beginning of your meditation session, and then go onto do your main meditation, whatever that is. If you do this then the energy flow will continue in the background as you do your meditation. The exercise can be done standing, sitting or lying down.
 
What is your energy body?
For the purposes of this meditation, consider your energy body as being essentially the biological life-force that flows through and radiates from your physical body, but then includes the emotional, mental and consciousness dimensions within you. It can be imagined simply as a body of light, same shape and size as your physical body, and occupying the same space. You can also imagine it as having an energy field around your body, like an egg or sphere of light. Beginning the meditation includes simply relaxing and gently sensing into your energy body, getting a feeling for it as you breathe.
 
Connecting your energy body to the Earth’s field
After centring in your basic light body, in your minds eye look down through the surface of the earth beneath you all the way down to the solar core of the planet.
Visualize beneath your body a ball of light about a meter in diameter. At the bottom of the ball see a line of light like a rope dropping down all the way into the centre of the planet.
From that line, energy from the Planetary being flows up and into the ball, filling it with Earth-light. Now imagine your body sinks down 3-5cms into the ball beneath you, so that the energy from the Earth starts to flow into your energy body from below. Just feel and allow that to happen without any special effort, this is a gentle, yin energy body exercise.
 
Connecting it to sky and stars
Imagine there is a ball of light about the size of a golf-ball, half way in, half way out of the crown of your head. Imagine it to be a little bit like an antenna. Be aware of the huge dome of sky and stars above and around you. Feel a gentle flow of subtle energy from the sky and stars descending and connecting to the crown of your head, from there gently flowing down into your energy body.
 
Practicing non-striving
Once you have set up the circuit then simply practice relaxing your body-mind as deeply as you can into a state of non-striving, do as little as possible and allow the energy from above and below to start to circulate gently through your energy body, organically and without forcing anything. Stay with this for as long as you have decided to meditate.
 
Everyday awareness
Once you are familiar with this meditation you can do it walking around or in the bus. You can even do it lying in bed at night whilst you wait to go to sleep. Without forcing anything, this practice connects you to the meta-energies of the Planetary being beneath and the sky and stars above, letting the flow of their energies enter, balance and exchange in a regenerative way with our own energy body.

 © Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday & Sunday February 25/26th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Tues 21st & Weds 22nd March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Sat & Sunday 1st, 2nd April – Two day integral meditation retreat
 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership

Messy wisdom & Wabi-sabi meditation

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article looks at how to work with the messiness of life through mindfulness. If you enjoy it, then do consider joining us this Saturday for the 
Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Other news , I’ll be doing a Two day integral meditation retreat on the weekend of 1st/2nd April, click the link for full details!

In the spirit of messy wisdom, 

Toby 

Messy wisdom – Accepting & working with everyday reality

Were almost five weeks into the new year now, I have a sense of a tidal shift in my work. Things being let go of, new ideas and projects to create and bring into manifestation. It feels like there are a lot of moving parts that aren’t fixed in their alignment, and it’s all a bit cloudy and messy.
For a lot of people, cloudiness and messiness are things that are to be avoided or are irritating and unsettling, stressful even. And yet many passages in our life are characterized by this ambiguity and open-endedness. Our path wanders and meanders through different stages and chapters, if we are attached to things being neat, tidy and ‘controlled’ all the time, we are going to suffer.
In the Wabi-sabi aesthetic we learn to value and be mindful of three messy things: The imperfect, the unfinished and the impermanent. By doing so we accomplish two main things:

  • We gain access to light, peaceful states of body-mind that enable us to navigate the messy patches of our life with a degree of enjoyment
  • We learn to take intelligent initiative within that messy space, developing the capacity to lead ourself and others creatively to our goals and towards order 

Below are three practice pointers for developing your messy, or wabi-sabi wisdom:

The imperfect & unbalanced – Acceptance & caring appreciation of process
By accepting the imperfect, eccentric and unbalanced aspects of ourself, our experience and our world we can begin to care for them and appreciate what they have to offer. Too often and on multiple levels we get caught up in the trap of negative imperfection-ism, that causes us to reject our experience of the moment and what we find there. By accepting what we find in the moment, imperfect as it is, we can begin to care for it, nurturing what is there toward whatever potential is possible.

The unfinished & unresolved – Acceptance or the open-endedness, taking courage and initiative
Our attachment to having things ‘right’ and ordered makes us uncomfortable with all the things that are still forming and finding their place in our lives. When we accept ongoing lack of resolution, we get comfortable with being ‘in process’. We simply and courageously set our own pace and look for the next thing that we can do to move toward eventual resolution, without feeling rushed or panicked.

The impermanent & uncertain – Accepting change & the unknown with curiosity & imagination
Rather than resisting and fearing change, we can accept and flow with it. We can be curious about both the change and our fear of it, allowing our imagination to respond to the possibilities that it offers.

You may notice that each of these practices are really different aspects of empowered acceptance. So, ‘messy wisdom follows on very much from well-balanced mindful acceptance.

Specific things to practice with
It’s good if you can take specific situations and experiences to practice around. For example, today I’ll be dipping in and out of a number of messy, unfinished areas:

  • Around a new retreat project
  • Around some long-term financial investments
  • Around my daughters University application

All of the things in your life today that are messy and unresolved are the practice, they aren’t in the way of it!

Related articles:
Cultivating your positive imperfectionist
Applying the Three C’s of Engaged Mindfulness
A wheel spinning out of balance
Allowing your mind to be messy

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday 11th February, 9am-12.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Saturday February 26th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Tues 21st & Weds 22nd March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Sat & Sunday 1st, 2nd April – Two day integral meditation retreat
 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Concentration Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

On meditation & ‘tantric self-esteem’

“Essentially then, to sit in your own company with ‘tantric self-esteem’ means to relate with feeling of warm friendliness (self-respect) toward yourself, and a confidence in your fundamental efficacy or adequacy to life”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

Why is it so difficult to sit in the present? In my previous article on ‘Making it easier to focus deeply‘ I look at one aspect of this. In the article below I continue that exploration. 
If you enjoy the article, do pop down either live or online to the Tuesday or Wednesday evening meditation class, where we shall be exploring this theme experientially. 

In the spirit of presence,
 
Toby 

On meditation & ‘tantric self-esteem’
 
The problem: To be present means to become more self-aware
One of the challenges that we face with meditation is that it makes us more present, which in turn brings us into a more conscious relationship to ourself and what is going on within ourselves. Of course, that is also the benefit and opportunity of meditation. But, if you don’t have a great relationship to yourself, and if there are things about yourself in the moment (body awareness, thoughts, emotions) that make you uncomfortable, then trying to be more present often becomes the last thing that you want to be! Much more attractive to be lost in thought, distracted, not present.
So, in a sense the art of meditation begins with getting comfortable with yourself in the moment.
 
The characteristic of good quality self-esteem
Who feels comfortable with and by themselves in the moment? One answer to this is someone with healthy self-esteem. What does that mean? Here is a working definition of self-esteem from Nat Branden:
“Despite the abundance of books, studies, workshops and committees devoted to the subject of self-esteem, there is little agreement about what it means. Self-esteem has two essential components:

  • Self-efficacy: Confidence in the ability to cope with life’s challenges. Self-efficacy leads to a sense of control over one’s life.
  • Self-respect: Experience oneself as deserving of happiness, achievement and love. Self-respect makes possible a sense of community with others.

Self-esteem is a self-reinforcing characteristic. When we have confidence in our ability to think and act effectively, we can persevere when faced with difficult challenges. We succeed more often than we fail. We form more nourishing relationships. We expect more of life and of ourselves.
If we lack confidence, we give up easily, fail more often and aspire to less. We get less of what we want.”
Essentially here then, to sit in your own company with self-esteem means to sit with a feeling of warm friendliness (self-respect) toward yourself, and a confidence in your fundamental efficacy or adequacy to life.
 
Tantric self-esteem: Sitting ‘as if’
Tantric practice in meditation is essentially to act ‘as if’. You use your imagination to bring the desired result into the present. In this case we are concerned with self-esteem, so in meditation we sit down and become present to ourself ‘as if we already had healthy functional self-esteem’:

  • As we sit and become present to our body-mind in the moment we extend warm, friendly, respectful feelings to ourself, as if we deserved a healthy degree of basic joy and wellbeing
  • We sit with ourselves as if we were siting with someone we trusted and whose fundamental capability we feel confident in

If we sit in this way, then the present moment, and our awareness of ourselves becomes a comfortable, attractive place to be. It is a place where we feel safe and welcome, as if in the company of a really good friend.
Done in this way, meditation becomes much less effortful because our resistance to the present is much reduced, it’s a place we like to be rather than have a vested interest in avoiding!
 
Practice
You can try it for a few minutes a day, just sitting and breathing with yourself and your tantric self-esteem. If you can familiarize yourself with this feeling and experience, then you will start to notice it becoming a normal part of the way you relate to yourself. This is not just in meditation, but in your daily activities, your way of going, being and interacting with the world.

 © Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 11th February, 9am-12.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

In a sentence: Learn how to work creatively with uncertainty, imperfection and life’s inherent messiness to realize your leadership and self-leadership potential.  Manage stress and anxiety better using mindfulness in combination with the practical philosophy of Wabi-Sabi.

Wabi-Sabi is one of the definitive aesthetic movements to emerge from Japan. With origins starting in the early 15th Century and influenced from Zen Buddhism, Wabi-Sabi became an aesthetic found in the arts and crafts such as ceramic, flower arranging and interior design. It also became a practical philosophy and approach to life. Principle aspects of Wabi-Sabi include:

  • An appreciation of the beauty of the impermanent, the imperfect and incomplete
  • A recognition of the value of humility
  • A willingness to engage with the unconventional

Mindfulness is the art of attention training and presence….read full workshop details


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday 11th February, 9am-12.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Saturday February 26th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat
 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology