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Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

The quickest way to de-stress

The quickest way to de-stress…is to stop thinking about yourself

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article is an ‘instant insight’ type piece, if you get it, a lot of good things follow! It also aims to give some context for the practice of dropping the self, it is designed to strengthen, not weaken our overall, healthy sense of ‘I’.
If you enjoy it, then do consider coming along to this Saturday’s Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat. Also the new Meditation class series starting 14/15th June The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilance is very much an exploration of this type of wisdom.

Finally, I’ll be doing the Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers three day course on 27-29th June. If you have any teenagers who you think would enjoy developing these skills, then this is the course for them!

In the spirit of dropping,

Toby

 


The quickest way to de-stress

…is to stop thinking about yourself.

The self as the center of your neurosis
If you reflect upon any of your experiences of stress, related to anxiety around the future, regrets, lack of something, getting fired…All of them have at the center of the experience you. The sense of a self sits at the middle of it all, facilitating and holding together the whole thing.

Practicing dropping the self
If you want a temporary liberation from this stress and inner tension, practice the discipline of putting down the self for a while. As a mindfulness exercise the trick here is to de-centralize your awareness; of course you’ll still be experiencing a body, thoughts, feelings and so on. But what you are trying to do is to not grasp at them as a part of your ‘I’. For example:

  • I can be aware of the sensation of my body without identifying it as mine
  • I can imagine that any thoughts that may be present ‘have no thinker’

Somatically, it’s good to relax the chest and central zone of the torso, where much of that holding onto self happens physically and energetically. If you can create a body that has dropped the feeling of the self, then dropping it mentally is much easier! As a mindfulness practice you can sit down and try and do this in an undistracted manner. Start with 3-5mins, and build up from there.

The liberated self
When you drop your conventional self-sense in this way, you notice that there is a new ‘self’ that starts to emerge, one that is not stressed by the comings and goings of your life events, but that remains bright and clear in the face of both enjoyment and difficulty.

Dropping the self is not distraction or evasion
Dropping the self in this manner is completely different from and not to be mistaken for avoiding yourself through distraction and ‘keeping busy’ in order to ‘not think about stuff’. This type of ‘keeping busy’ is more a way of pushing your stress ‘under the carpet’ so to speak. Of course, when you repress or suppress it is still there and comes out in other ways…

Thinking about yourself less
In your daily life, once you have a sense of the exercise on dropping your self you can practice thinking about yourself somewhat less, and with more objectivity. This is a way of managing your self better, without letting it become overwhelmingly intense and all pervasive. When you are very stressed it is actually very difficult not to be ‘selfish’ because there is this overwhelming sense of ‘I’ all the time. When you think about yourself less, you can be less selfish, whilst at the same time asserting your needs, wishes and preferences in life in an appropriate manner.

The complementary polarity: Self-responsibility
When we drop the self and think about it less, the complementary attitude to this is to live also with a strong sense of self, and of self-responsibility. This sense of self is a non-neurotic, confident, warm and expansive self-sense that feels able to deal with life without getting overwhelmed, and enjoys problem solving and being challenged to grow. The self-responsible ‘I’ can grow much more easily in an environment where the obsessive-compulsive self has been let go of.

Related articleDropping the self

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Starts Tuesday /Wednesday 14/15th June – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilanceIn a sentence: Learn the art of ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom through integrative meditation
Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series is an ongoing series that looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention…. Read full details


Saturday 11th June, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart…read full details


Monday-Weds 27-29th June – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three day course

As a teenager, what were the life-skills you wish you had been taught, in addition to all your school subjects? These sessions are specifically designed to help teens develop their real inner skills that help them be:

  • More effective at achieving their chosen goals
  • Build confidence,
  • Build resilience around stress and
  • Increase their capacity for fun and enjoyment as they learn.

Read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Saturday 11th June, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Starts Tuesday /Wednesday 14/15th June – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilance

Saturday June 25th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Monday-Weds 27-29th June – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three day course


 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership

Peace or victory?

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on mindfulness around conversations and arguments. we all know the expression “Do you want to be right or to be happy”, I explore a few of the nuances of this.

This weeks Tuesday & Wednesday meditations are an exploration of this theme in combination with that of ‘engaged equanimity’, you are welcome to join us, either live or online.

And final call for this Saturday morning’s Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat, if you haven’t tries it already, you might enjoy it!

In the spirit of the victory of peace,

Toby

 


Peace or victory?

The need to be right
It’s a familiar saying “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Certainly, in inter-relational mindfulness this is an important question. If we can’t be happy until the other person (or everyone!) acknowledges that we are right, then our happiness is going to be disrupted for large sections of our life. The skill here then would seem to be letting go of the need to be right, and choosing to value our peace of mind over ‘rightness’.

The need to be seen to be right
Its an interesting distinction between being right, and being seen to be right. Without the other saying explicitly we are right, often it seems not to be enough just to trust our own judgment assert our position and then leave it at that. Often the need for the approval or affirmation of others means that we can’t rest in peace unless we get it. So, when looking for the peace of being happy rather than right, accepting that we may not get the approval of the person/s we are arguing with would seem to be an important area to be mindful of.

The need for self-trust and sound judgment
If we are going to be focusing on “being happy rather than right” it’s also important to build trust and confidence in yourself, your perception and ability to process the facts of the matter as far as they are available. We need to articulate and hold to our values as well as we can. Being happy doesn’t need to come at the cost of not being able to stick up for our position, and act accordingly. We need to be as objectively ‘right’ as we can in our own judgments, without being addicted to the need for other people to always affirm that position to us.

To be happy to be not understood and seen
If we are not affirmed as right, or even dismissed as wrong in a conversation and we want to be able to retain a degree of inner peace, then we need to be ok sometimes with not being seen or understood by the other or others. This is not easy! But there is a lot to be gained from paying attention when you are in positions like this, and using them as a test off your independent-mindedness, and ability to be even-minded in the face of the disapproval, scorn, disagreement or indifference of others.

The victory of peace
The victory we are aiming at here is the peace that comes from not needing to be right, or have the approval of others. I would add to this that in combination with this we need to be able to trust and feel confident in our own judgment, otherwise we risk capitulating to others in an inappropriate way, and “letting go” of difficult conversations/arguments that need to be pursued over time simply because they make us uncomfortable.

Summary points for mindful reflection:

  • Do I want to be right or at peace?
  • Can I accept I may not get the approval of affirmation of others sometimes?
  • Do I trust my own judgement and clarity of thinking in this situation?
  • Can I be ok with not being understood or ‘seen’ sometimes?
  • How committed am I to the victory of peace rather than rightness?

Related articleEngaged equanimity

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Saturday May 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Tues 17th/Weds 18th May: Wesak meditation

Saturday May 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Saturday 11th June, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat


 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Energy Meditation Enlightened love and loving Inner vision Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Presence and being present

Inner strength – Gathering your energy into one place

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article that aims to use playful techniques to build different but complementary dimensions of our inner strength. Enjoy!
The themes in the article are some that we will be exploring in this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday class.  You are welcome to join us at both events, either live or online.

In the spirit of inner strength,

Toby


Inner strength – Gathering your energy into one place

The unified body-mind – Understanding inner strength
This is an article that aims to use playful techniques to build different but complementary dimensions of our inner strength. The working definition of inner strength we will work with here is a mind and body that are unified. This is to say the energies of our mind are mainly focused in our body, and our biological or body intelligence are working in harmony with our rational or reasoning mind. Other aspects of this unity include:

  • Our intuition and our intellect
  • Our mind and emotions
  • Our conscious and unconscious selves

Positively anally retentive – Using your perineum to gather your attention
Meditation and mindfulness are central methods for bringing your mind into the present moment and into your body. One technique that I find very helpful to centre my attention in my body a little faster and stronger is to employ the perineum as I breathe. Essentially it looks like this:
As you breathe in and out gently (to about 20-30% of your strength) contract your perineum, so as you breathe in, there is a gentle sense of solidity in the inside of the bottom of your hips.
To tense the perineum, first locate your anal sphincter, then go up into your body about 3cms, you will find another ring of muscle. If you tense that, you will feel the web of muscles in your perineum activating.
This method is a simple way to ‘retain’ your energy in your body as you breathe, and has a solidifying and gathering effect. Its kind of like being anally retentive, but in a good way!

The eye of the storm – Courageously breathing into your centre
The second technique which you can do (either with the first or on its own) is to locate the approximate physical centre of your torso, somewhere between the heart and stomach level, and:

  • As you breathe in gather your energy into your physical centre
  • As you breathe out, relax from that centre point

It’s not easy, especially when your anxious to firmly decide not to be distracted and to rest in the moment. If you like with this second exercise, imagine you are in the eye of the storm of your life. As you breathe in, courageously gather your energy into your centre. As you breathe out, hold your energy in the centre of the storm like a mindful warrior!

The sacred reef – Compassion and accessing your intuition
If you practice mindfulness techniques like those above, you will find that your linear thinking mind starts to settle down. As you move toward stillness, you will find your non-linear, intuitive mind coming online. This is a bit like when you dive beneath the surface of the ocean (your everyday mind), before you hit the deep ocean (stillness), you encounter coral reefs that are vibrant and full of colour and life (the intuitive and imaginal level). It’s worth hanging out on this level and getting to know it, as there are lots of great ideas down here that may come to you. Also, when you are in this state it is relatively easy to feel wonder, connection and compassion for life and the world. This experience helps us to return to our everyday world feeling that life is sacred, and that the people around us (and we ourselves) are worthy of attention, compassion and cherishing. This compassion and reverence for life hugely adds to our inner strength as we go through the world and encounter our tribulations.
Enjoy exploring these different dimensions of your inner strength!

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


 

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

In a sentence: Establish the inner strength, skill and courage needed to make you resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and thrive in both times of adversity and times of peace.

Overview: The Warriors Creed is a poem by an unknown Samurai in the 14th century. It outlines a code of conduct and a state of presence based around a series of inner qualities that can be cultivated through mindful contemplation, then applied to our daily life…read full details

 

 

 


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)
Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Saturday 23rd April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Tues 17th/Weds 18th May: Wesak meditation

Saturday May 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 


 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Honesty, enemies, friends, mindfulness – Three ‘warrior meditations’

The invitation is to look at ourself and our life and embrace it fully, to accept it in an un-reserved and pro-active manner. When we ‘love our fate’ in this way we look honestly at the difficulties of our life, and open to them

 

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on three short ‘warrior meditations’. They will be the subject of this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday class, you are welcome to join us, either live or online!

In the spirit of opening,

Toby


Honesty, enemies, friends, mindfulness – Three ‘warrior meditations’

Here are three mini “warrior-meditations” that I have put together. Each of them can be done as a meditation in itself, or combined into a three-stage practice. Each of them contains a core idea, which functions as the real ‘engine room’ or ‘energy creation room’ of the practice. Their inspiration was this passage from the ‘Warriors Creed’:
“I have no authority; I make honesty my authority
I have no enemies; I make carelessness and indifference my
enemies
I have no friends; I make the earth and sky my friends”

Working with honesty – Amor Fati
‘Amor Fati’ is a (Roman) Stoic saying that essentially means to ‘love one’s fate’ or to ‘embrace one’s fate’. The invitation here is to look at ourself and our life and embrace it fully, to accept it in an un-reserved but also pro-active manner. When we ‘love our fate’ in this way we are looking honestly at the challenges, mis-fortunes, limitations and difficulties of our life (as well as the good things), and opening to them. “This is my path and I embrace it fully and honestly, without looking away, or trying to run away, or moan. It is my path to own and build my inner strength, resilience and wisdom from.” Approaching our life in this way, we can be honest and at the same time joyful and accepting of all that we experience.

The Enemies of carelessness and indifference
To quote Franz Kafka: “You can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world, that is something that you are free to do, and it accords with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid.”
In the face of our own suffering and pain, and the over-whelming suffering of the world, it is easy and understandable when we try and numb ourselves, turn away, pretend we don’t care, and become indifferent. We pay a high price for this, for by cutting ourself off from caring we cut ourself off from joy and love and a multitude of other experiences that really put us in touch with why life is worth living. So here the meditation is to keep on remaining sensitive to the world, to care about ourself and others, and to commit to not numbing ourself. We can face our life and the world one day, one activity and one moment at a time, without getting overwhelmed, and make like Arthur Ashe; “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”

Friendship with the earth and sky
Humans are lonely creatures. We often seek company in order to relieve our loneliness but, as the saying goes, and I’ve heard many people say it about their experience “I’ve never felt so alone as when I’m in company”. One way to work on feeling less lonely that I’ve found tremendously useful is to simply be aware of the landscape that I live and move in, and feel myself to be in a supportive, friendly communion within. A simple meditation for this is to place your awareness on the horizon around you, sensing the sky and stars above and around you, and the living earth beneath you. As you breathe in, feel the energy of the earth and sky moving into you, and into your physical centre. As you breathe out, feel your energy expanding out from you centre out into the landscape. Feel yourself to be at home in the centre of the landscape you inhabit, feel it to be your friend. As you walk around in daily life, rather than just focusing on the pavement two metres in front of you, keep your head up a little, and be present to what’s around you, and of the horizon. Make friends with the earth sky and the things that you find therein…

Related articleWorking Samadhi – The way of the mindful warrior

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

In a sentence: Establish the inner strength, skill and courage needed to make you resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and thrive in both times of adversity and times of peace.

Overview: The Warriors Creed is a poem by an unknown Samurai in the 14th century. It outlines a code of conduct and a state of presence based around a series of inner qualities that can be cultivated through mindful contemplation, then applied to our daily life…read full details


Saturday 23rd April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart…read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 9th April, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Saturday 23rd April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Tues 17th/Weds 18th May: Wesak meditation


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight creative imagery Enlightened Flow Enlightened service Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Working Samadhi – The way of the mindful warrior

“With working samadhi, all our actions an expression in one form or another of the confidence, generosity & compassion that arises from meditative presence in action”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores a practice called ‘Working Samadhi’ which for me is one of the most compelling ideas in meditation! If you enjoy it then do check out  the new meditation program beginning in April:  The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed. Details below, or just click on the link for the full write up.

In the spirit of the mindful warrior,

Toby


Working Samadhi – The way of the mindful warrior

Why meditate?
Meditation in its most simple definition means to hold a focused, relaxed space of awareness. This state of awareness sits in the middle of two extremes:

  • On the one side, there is being distracted and lost in thought, or conceptuality
  • In the other side there is sleep or inertia

So, with meditation we are in a state of relaxed presence, in the moment. We are alert, undistracted and relaxed, avoiding the extremes of thinking or sleep.
Initially we meditate using simple objects like the body and breathing, but we can really build a meditative state around a wide variety of objects. Meditation enables us to achieve what I like to call singularity; the ability to gather all of our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energy into a single energy or presence in the moment. It gives us the strength of calmness, but also acts as the basis for a whole range of empowering states, from joy to compassion, self-trust, confidence and so on…

Working samadhi – Combining singularity and movement
The ability to hold a meditative state whilst sitting or standing takes some work. As our practice develops, if its trajectory is healthy, we find ourselves able to hold the state of singularity more and more in our daily activities. This eventually leads to a state called ‘working samadhi’.  Genuine working samadhi means, to quote John Daido Lori:
Working samadhi (means) we’re able to stay with what we are doing and not disconnect from the moment by chasing thoughts, pre-occupied with something other than the activity at hand, wishing we weren’t there. This single-mindedness on any and all facets of life is working samadhi…. It’s our aliveness and presence, moment to moment. Each instant is lucid and complete.
Within that working samadhi, karuna – real compassion – begins to appear. Compassion is wisdom in action. It is not merely doing good.”

Experiential learning in the moment
With working samadhi, our life becomes our meditation, and all our activities become an expression of the meditative state. This then enables us to find meaning and learning in all our activities, whether they are superficially ‘spiritual’ or ‘mundane’. Everything becomes an expression in one form or another of the confidence, generosity & compassion that arises from our ‘meditative presence in action’.

The mindful warrior
Unless you are careful, there is no guarantee that your sitting meditation starts to translate into working samadhi. For some, meditation can become an escape from daily life, or even an addiction that winds up in them not really being able to function normally without regular periods retreating into solitary meditation. To step into working samadhi takes a lot of confidence and courage, and an ability to skillfully embrace our messy chaotic reality whole-heartedly.

Yourself as a mindful warrior
With your capacity to sustain singularity, not just in formal meditation but in complex daily life, our path opens up into that of the ‘mindful warrior’. Someone who trusts themselves enough to start openly expressing their joy, compassion, inner wealth and generosity in the world, without fear of getting burned, burned out or intimidated. To finish this article, I’d like to leave you with a quote from Chogyam Trungpa (From ‘Cutting through spiritual materialism’) on the compassion that arises essentially from working samadhi. If you imagine yourself like this in your daily life, it gives a taste of what it’s like:
We could say that compassion is the ultimate attitude of wealth: An anti-poverty attitude, a war on want. It contains all sorts of heroic, juicy, positive, visionary, expansive qualities. It implies a larger scale thinking, a freer and more expansive way of relating to yourself and the wold….it is the attitude that one has been born fundamentally rich, rather than one must become rich. Without this kind of confidence meditation cannot be transferred into action at all.”

Related articleKaruna – Compassion arising from wisdom

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com



Saturday April 9th, 9.30-11.30am
 – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details


Starts Tuesday 5th/Wednesday 6th April 2022 – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

In a sentence: Establish the inner strength, skill and courage needed to make you resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and thrive in both times of adversity and times of peace.

Overview: The Warriors Creed is a poem by an unknown Samurai in the 14th century. It outlines a code of conduct and a state of presence based around a series of inner qualities that can be cultivated through mindful contemplation, then applied to our daily life…read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing January-March – Zen: The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

Saturday April 9th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Starts Tuesday 5th/Wednesday 6th April 2022 – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Saturday 23rd April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Tues 17th/Weds 18th May: Wesak meditation


Integral Meditation Asia

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creative imagery Essential Spirituality Inner vision Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Presence and being present

Sitting in equality

“When we sit in meditation, we can put all of our roles and the baggage that comes with them down and relax. Phew, what a relief!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores the relief and the sense of inner power that comes from sitting in a state of equality. If you enjoy the article, then we will be exploring its theme in this weeks Tuesday and Wednesday meditation class, feel free to join us!

Also, heads up for the new Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat on Sat 29th Jan. Movement, mobility, breathing and meditation are all intimately related!

In the spirit of equality,

Toby


Sitting in equality

Functional hierarchy, existential equality
All of us exist in hierarchies, without which the groups we are a part of could not function, for example:

  • We have grandparents, parents and children in families, existing in a hierarchy recognised by all.
  • We generally work for some form of ‘boss’, and have others under us who execute work for us. Your boss maybe also has a boss, or clients she works for, and perhaps those under you have people who work for them
  • There is also a less formal though no less powerful hierarchy the happens in social and cultural gatherings

Noticing the labels and the power dynamics
All of these hierarchies require labels and roles. You will notice that you have become quite attached and identified with some of the roles that you play. Perhaps its because you have been playing them for a long time. Perhaps it is because they reward your sense of worth in some way. Sometimes we are attached to the roles simply because we fear that, without the role we are a nobody, and not worth anything! Can you identify 2-3 roles that you are identified with in this way?
You’ll notice also that the roles give rise to power exchanges and a sense of being important/not important, better than/worse than, leader/follower.

Putting down the labels, sitting in equality
Part of the pleasure of being in a meditation circle or group is that, when we sit down and enter meditation, we have the opportunity to drop all of the usual labels and roles that we ‘put on’ in life, and simply sit with equals. One member might be a CEO, another might be a house husband, another a recovering addict. Some might be old and mature, others young and less so. When we sit in meditation, we can put all of these roles down and relax. Phew, what a relief!
We discover that there is a person inside us who is free of our everyday labels, of our position in the ‘hierarchy’ of things, and all of the power play that goes with that. We discover a stable sense of value and worth as a person that is no less (or more) than any of the people around us. This is something that we can learn to experience and ground ourself not just intellectually, but viscerally in our body. We can notice the feeling in the body that comes from sitting in a state of equality & the power that comes from it.

Taking it into daily life
In your daily life, notice that when you meet other people, according to the labels you give them, and give yourself in relation to them, that you have a differing sense of your own value and worth. With our sense of equality in meditation, we can notice this and, at the same time experience all those we meet as equals, free from the labels we might instinctively project upon them and they upon us.

Squash winner, squash loser
Two weeks ago, I played squash on Sunday and won every single game I played. This week I lost every single game! So, in terms of labels, I was a big winner one time, and a big loser the other. Amidst both those experiences there was a sense of myself simply as a person, not better or worse than those I was playing against, regardless of the result. This gave me the ability to walk away with a sense that I had enjoyed both experiences, and the company I was in. It’s a simple example, but it gives a bit of insight into the potential of the state of equality to provide a stable psychological base for us in daily life, from which the possibility of happiness and fulfilment each day looms larger.

Related articleBecoming a man or woman of no rank

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


In case you missed it, from last week: Your spiritual ancestors

Two types of ancestors
We live within the energetic field of our ancestors and family, past and present. Becoming aware of this and working with it is an important dimension of our spiritual practice that can really enhance the richness of our life. It can also provide important keys to resolving blockages and conflicts, both within ourself and in our relationships…read full article


Saturday Jan 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details


Tues & Weds Feb 1st & 2nd – Lunar New Year Meditation 2022: Developing your inner power in the year of the Tiger

About the class: This is a meditation to welcome in the lunar new year energies, and attune to the astrological animal of the year, the Water Tiger! In particular, we will be mindfully aligning with and developing our inner and outer power as well as other primal characteristics of the Tiger.
Toby will be leading the meditation as a simple and profound way, with plenty of room for our own personal contemplation, inner healing and positivity building! Full details here


 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing January-March – Zen: The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

Saturday Jan 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Tues & Weds Feb 1st & 2nd – Lunar New Year Meditation 2022: Developing your inner power in the year of the Tiger


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Energy Meditation Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Meditation Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present Shadow meditation

Conscious or default positivity?

“Conscious positivity allows for a tremendous range of feelings and emotions to be present that may not be ‘positive’, but that if we repress or deny would take us away from our authentic response to what is going on, and to move away from the truth

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks at the phenomenon of ‘positive thinking, and makes a few distinctions that will be helpful in your own practice of it.

I’m in the process of putting together the program for later in the month, and the new year, a few details below the article.

In the spirit of conscious positivity,

Toby

 


Conscious or default positivity?

“There is a meaningful difference between default positivity and conscious positivity. Default positivity is when we turn to positivity as a mechanism, a bypass, a defense against owning or feeling the shadow. Often birthed in challenging life experiences, this pseudo bliss trip can keep us alive during tumultuous times, but it can also become an embedded way of being that detaches us from our truth. Conscious positivity is birthed in authenticity and awareness.” – Jeff Brown

What really constitutes positive thinking? On the surface of it looks fairly simple, “Just look on the bright side of life”, “See the good in the situation”, “Make lemonade out of lemons”, “No point in dwelling on it (the negative or difficult)”.
However, if we start to look at it a bit more closely, it becomes much more nuanced. Below are a few distinctions that may be useful.

Default or reflex positivity
Default positivity is the position of automatically / quickly adopting a ‘positive’ perspective or reaction on order to smother or repress difficult feelings (emotions, thoughts, reactions) that we feel uncomfortable about or threatened by. It is a way of bypassing the thing that we are really experiencing.

An example
Recently I won a court case. It had been one that had been going on for a while. It was certainly a relief to have won, but the after the victory experience was a bitter-sweet, mixed emotion affair with a degree of ambiguity. If I had been uncomfortable about those feelings of ambiguity, I could have felt the need to go out for a celebration, affirm the victory with friends and people congratulating me. I could have spent a lot of time inwardly talking to myself about the victory and how it was born of strength and courageousness and all that. I could have created a ‘high’. I didn’t do that, but I’d felt the need to cover up my feelings, I could have reverted to this type of reflex positivity.

Conscious positivity or mental framing
Conscious positivity allows for a tremendous range of feelings and emotions to be present that may not be ‘positive’, but that if we repress or deny would take us away from our authentic response to what is going on, and to move away from the truth. By ‘truth’ I mean our own inner truth, but also a connection with the objective, outer truth of what’s going on. Conscious positivity comes from a place that is inwardly confident enough and wise enough to allow for difficult and contradictory feelings to be present, whilst at the same time framing what’s going on in a constructive way.

An example
To return to the example of the court case above, it would be true to say that:

  • I felt rather sad that the situation had come to this point
  • I felt somewhat sorry for the other party
  • I felt quite angry about the silliness of it all
  • I reflected on it as partly a comment on the contradictory state of mind and emotions that many people seem to be stuck in these days

Whilst allowing for all these things, I also practiced conscious positivity, noting that:

  • I had achieved my stated objectives, and that there would be genuinely good results coming
  • I felt I had developed aspects of my character that will stand me in good stead in the future
  • I noted the increase of knowledge I had around the legal profession and process
  • I gave permission to myself to feel genuinely good, even in the face of my own ambiguity

Positivity without suppression or denial
The example above, is an example of conscious positivity, and avoiding the temptation and pitfall of default positivity. What are the areas of your life that you could start making the distinction between these two, and what possibilities might it open up for you?

Related articleMindfully balancing positive thinking with healthy realism

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   


Tuesday 21st December,  7.30-8.30pm, SG time – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

This will be a chance to reflect on the spiritual meaning of Christmas and power of the winter season. We will look at the different ways our own inner light can ‘die and be re-born once more’.

It is a good time to attune to the creative energies within ourselves. We can think about the new year & spring periods that lie ahead of us, what our goals & expectations are, & sow the seeds on an inner level of that which we wish to manifest over the next few months…read full details

 


Tues & Weds 4th & 5th January – 2022 New year & New Moon releasing and inviting meditation

This meditation session is focused upon setting up the 2022 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2022
  • Focusing both consciously and intuitively upon the inviting of new energies, aspirations and goals that we wish to bring in and manifest over the course of the new year…read full details

Begins Tues 11/Weds 12th January – The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

This series of 10 classes is an introduction to simple, practical Zen and Taoist meditations that can temporarily help us to reduce our stress and thrive joyfully in daily life. They can also, practiced regularly offer us experiential insight into our true nature and help us to answer some of our deepest life-questions and attain a truly stable sense of inner transformation. The sessions can be attended as a complete course in itself, or each class can be taken as a practice in and of itself…read full details


 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 21st December,  7.30-8.30pm, SG time – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

Tues & Weds 4th & 5th January – 2022 New year & New Moon releasing and inviting meditation

Begins Tues 11/Weds 12th January – The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures


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The miracle of attention

“Imagine yourself on the side a mountain looking at the sky. For a time simply try and keep 90% of your attention on the sun, the clear sky and the bright clouds. You are not denying the dark clouds, you are just acknowledging the large expanse of “beautiful sky”, and giving yourself time to take it in and enjoy it”

Dear Integral Meditators,

The article below looks at how you can transform your life (miraculously) by transforming your attention. If you enjoy it, do come along to one of the The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom classes this week, either on Tuesday or Wednesday, where we shall be focused on this subject!

In the spirit miraculous attention,

Toby

 


The miracle of attention

The basic proposition of mindfulness is that the world that appears to you can be changed by the way in which you pay attention to it. The art of mindfulness is paying attention to your reality in this moment in the right way, so it gives you the result you want in terms of feeling effective and empowered, as well as ‘happy’ in the way you choose to define that term.
You can think of mindfulness as being ‘miraculous’ in the sense that you can change your experience through your attention in this way. You can literally re-work your reality, transform it and create something else through your focus, kind of like Jesus turning water into wine. It’s not as outwardly explicit as transforming water into wine, but its more miraculous than that in the sense that it offers a genuine, do-able method to grasp control of your perception and experience. The exercise below is one example of how you can start ‘working miracles’ in your life.

Looking out from a mountain side
Imagine you’re sitting on the side of a mountain, looking over a landscape. There is a broad horizon and a big sky in front of you, perhaps with the sun halfway towards setting. There are some clouds in the sky, and some clear patches where the blue and gold of the sky and sun dominate. About 10% of the sky is dark with rainclouds, but the rest is basically a varied and beautiful sky-scape that you can sit and enjoy watching from your mountain-side. As well as the blue and gold, there are lots of other colours, the white of the clouds, and the pinks, oranges and reds when the sun filters through them. On top of this there is also the beauty of the ground level, where there might be fields, lakes and trees.

The sky of your life
Let’s say what Winston Churchill said about worry is true: “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened”.
So, most of our worries don’t happen, but maybe 10-15% do. So then, let’s say we have sixteen waking hours a day. We can allot 10% of that time to either:

  • Thinking and strategizing about our worries intelligently or
  • Just outright worrying!

If 10% of our day is 90mins, then the rest of our day, fourteen and a half hours, we can focus on:

  • The good things in our life
  • Things that help us feel safe and confident
  • Attention to things that help us to relax, regenerate and calm down when we want
  • Attention to things that that help us to feel excited, empowered and energised
  • Things that cause us to grow and learn

If your inner and outer life are like the ‘sky’ in the image above, then during your average day, 90% of your attention should be on the good things, and 10% on your worries. The hypothesis is then that, if you do this, then you are going to have a very different experience of your life. You will have affected a ‘miracle’ in your life, simply by paying attention in a different way.

Trying it out
For 10-15mins, sit quietly, and if you like visualize yourself on the side a mountain looking at the sky as described above. For that time simply try and keep 90% of your attention on the good stuff. You are not denying the dark clouds, you are just acknowledging the large expanse of “beautiful sky”, and giving yourself time to take it in and enjoy it.
If you train in this way regularly, you train your attention to gradually shift from where it is now towards 90% of it being on the things that energise and feed your wellbeing. In this way, gradually, you effect a miracle in your life.

Related articleMeditation as a positive mindfulness game

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   


In case you missed this article last week: ‘Head in the Sun’ meditation

This is a simple meditation that combines cultivating a thought-free state with environmental awareness. Specifically, we use brain-relaxation in combination with awareness of the suns light to create the desired experience.

Finding the sun – This first stage is nice to do, and enhances the experience, but is not essential. Glance outside and locate the sun, physically in the sky. Get a sense of where it is in your current landscape. If the sun has gone down already, get a sense of where it is beneath the horizon.

Sitting in landscape – Then take a seat (this can also be done standing or lying and, when your used to it, walking) Send your awareness out to the horizon line in the landscape around you. Get a feel for the curve of the earth’s surface extending around you from your feet, the sun in the sky above, and the living planet beneath you. Breath and relax with this for a short while.
Read full article


Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

In a sentence: Learn the art of ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom through integrative meditation
Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series is an ongoing series that looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention. In this four class series we take instant awakening, miraculous-ness, independence and sensitivity as our doorways to awakening….read full details


Saturday 20th & 27th November – Environmental meditation masterclass & mini-retreat – Working consciously with the forces of nature

In a sentence: Learn to work consciously with the forces of nature and your environment as well develop powerful meditation states.

There is much concern and talk today about the state of the environment and the relationship of humankind to nature. These sessions cover methods to:

  • Attune to the energies of our immediate and larger environment
  • Build a living relationship to the landscape around us
  • Access meditation states based upon our environment that provide deep powerful peace, as well as increasing our energy in an harmonious manner
  • Increase our sense of being a participant in the miracle of nature
  • Inspire us to live an embodied life in tune with the living Earth and Universe around, above and below us

Read full details


 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

Saturday 20th & 27th November – Environmental meditation masterclass & mini-retreat – Working consciously with the forces of nature


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Biographical Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Mindfully dis-agreeable

Dear Integral Meditators,

One of the reasons we shy away from dis-agreeable people and energy is that it can feel pretty volatile, even violent at times. This doesn’t mean we can avoid it however, it makes it an even more important aspect of ourselves that we need to master in the right way. The article below explores how to do start doing this.

Heads up for this weeks Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session on Tuesday & Wednesday evenings, and for the start next Monday of  The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood.

In the spirit of agreeably dis-agreeable,

Toby


Mindfully dis-agreeable

Recently I’ve been encountering some dis-agreeable people in my life, and I’ve also noticed my coaching clients are facing a few as well! Being by nature a fairly agreeable person, I find dealing with people who are dis-agreeable quite challenging. This is not necessarily because they are ‘bad’ and I am ‘good’. Rather it is because they feel comfortable and even enjoy conflict, whereas for me I prefer reconciliation, co-operation, consideration and other ‘agreeable’ ways of interacting. Over the years it’s become very clear to me that, if you are a kind gentle person without an appropriately dis-agreeable side, then this places you at a big dis-advantage in life. You need to have access to gentleness and kindness, balanced by the capacity to manage conflict appropriately.

The higher and lower expressions of dis-agreeable
One of the reasons you might be reluctant to embrace your dis-agreeable side is that you confuse it with outright negativity. You may equate dis-agreeable with qualities like:

  • Delusional and paranoid
  • Grumpy or negatively angry
  • Unreasonable
  • Emotionally immature or stunted
  • Sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies
  • Physically or psychologically abusive or violent

However, dis-agreeable can also mean the appropriate, balanced capacity to be appropriately

  • Assertive and powerful
  • Just and fair
  • Protective of self and others
  • Defend boundaries
  • Stand up to bullies
  • Tell the and/or your truth

This second list of dis-agreeable qualities I think you can see are important to develop and own within yourself.

Agreeable is always good?
Contrastingly, we often have the idea that ‘agreeable’ is always a good quality. It means you are a person who is kind, caring, conciliatory, looking for compromise, considerate and so on. However, the lower quality of imbalanced agreeable people includes

  • Being submissive and weak
  • Running away from conflict
  • Avoiding reality, living in a dreamworld
  • Can’t speak up for themselves
  • Avoids an argument of conversation that needs having
  • Is an escapist
  • Represses their anger and becomes vulnerable to depression or low self-esteem

So then, to learn to be ‘good’ at dis-agreeability means:

  • To learn to be happy to be in conflict with someone and hold your space/position
  • Stop hoping the other person will be reasonable, and just take each transaction one at a time without overly stressing about it
  • Learn to tolerate and even enjoy dis-agreements
  • To not be intimidated by the anger or aggression of others
  • To own your own positive anger and aggression in the service of the good and the true

One of the reasons we shy away from dis-agreeable energy is that it can feel pretty volatile and even violent at times. This doesn’t mean we can avoid it however, it makes it an even more important aspect of our energy that we need to master in the right way!
The next time you are in a space where there is conflict, and where there are dis-agreeable people around, pay attention, there is a lot to train in and get mindfully better at!

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   


Tues 19th & Weds 20th October – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

About the meditation: We all live our life within an environment that consists fundamentally/experientially of the Earth, Moon, Sun and Stars. The monthly lunar cycle describes our relationship to the Moon, and the powerful influence that it has on our life. In the physical world we see this influence most obviously in the tides of the sea. In our inner life we experience it as the coming and going of energy, moods and emotions within our psyche. This meditation, done on or around the full moon capitalises on the heightened lunar energies at this time of the month to…read full details


Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving in your life as a man?

Much is asked of men in their traditional roles as fathers and sons, partners and husbands, students and teachers, employees and employers. The men’s group is a professionally moderated and confidential forum for men. A forum is a safe place for exploring, learning and sharing the successful perspectives, skills, and strategies needed to address and manage the unique issues, problems, and triumphs in our community…read full details


Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Samhain (Aka All hallows eve, or Halloween) is the time in the northern hemisphere when we enter the darker months of the year & winter. Traditionally it is said to be the time when the veil between the world of the living and the inner world of our ancestors is said to be thinnest. Consequently, it is an ideal time for us to commune with our ancestors in meditation…read full details


Friday 5th November 7.30-8.30pm – Online New moon beginners mind, health visualization & envisioning session

About the session: This class is done monthly around the turn of the new moon and enable us to open to new beginnings, new possibilities and make a fresh start, specifically with regard to physical health and psychological wellbeing
A picture speaks a thousand words” as the saying goes! In meditation we use  two main methods:

  • Visualization – The conscious use of images and imagery to invoke a better present moment and future experience of health
  • Envisioning – The seeking of spontaneous inner visions that connect us to sources of health & support in the imaginal world, and inspire us toward greater levels of energy energy and wellbeing

Read full details


 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Life Coaching and Meditation coaching 3-6month packages are on a 15% offer up until Weds 20th October. If getting some coaching is an idea you have been contemplating, then this is a good opportunity to get it and save some money on the price. 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Begins Tues 14/Weds 15th September – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

Saturday October 16th & 23rd, 10am-4pm – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Friday 5th November 7.30-8.30pm – Online New moon beginners mind, health visualization & envisioning session


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Motivation and scope Presence and being present Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

Transforming worry to wise concern

“Cultivate feelings of confidence and self-trust around your problems, and think about them from this position, rather than intimidation and rumination”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What would it take to transform your worrying to wise concern? This weeks article explores a few practical pointers!

Full details of all sessions in June are below, as well as the next The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists in July, which is on special early bird offer until 7th June!.

In the spirit of wise concern,

Toby


Transforming worry to wise concern

What would it take to transform your worrying to wise concern? Here are a few thoughts and mindful pointers

Worry – thinking about your problems without confidence
When we feel intimidated and oppressed by our problems and concerns we tend to fall into the anxious, repetitive patterns of thinking, feeling and acting that we know as worrying. It’s not particularly pleasant, and often it doesn’t help us a huge amount. Sometimes we worry because we lack confidence in ourself, but also the more we worry, often the less confident we feel about ourselves. It can be a vicious circle.

Faith in yourself, faith in life’s process
So a part of transforming your worry into wise concern is to develop confidence, faith and trust in your ability to meet your problems well, and that a solution is very possible. This is partly an attitude that you can practice that then in turn becomes a habit. We can approach this from a mental/psychological perspective, and a somatic one:

Mental/Psychological: Rumination as opposed to directed, creative thinking
When we are worried, not confident and feeling intimidated by our problems, often we ruminate. To ruminate means to think in a low quality, repetitive way about what we are going through. It leaches our energy and often takes us no closer to a solution. Wise concern seeks to think creatively and intelligently about the presenting issue, and knows when to stop thinking for now and accept that nothing more can be done for the time being.

Somatic: Your stomach; seat of power or seat of worry?
In Taoist philosophy and meditation the seat of our worrying in the body is the stomach. Our solar plexus chakra, which is in very close proximity to our stomach is our centre of power and confidence. So it can be quite interesting to explore this area of our torso, which is right in its central zone, in order to process our feelings of worry in the body, and also to see if we can mindfully impose a feeling of strength and calm in this central space.

Wise concern  – Dwelling upon your problems without feeling intimidated by them
In conclusion:

  • Notice and extend care and concern to the parts of us that worry and are worried
  • Cultivate feelings of confidence and self-trust around your problems, and think about them from this position, rather than intimidation and rumination
  • Think deliberately with wise concern about your challenges, rather than ruminating
  • Explore and cultivate a feeling of comfort, confidence and power in the stomach and solar plexus zones of the body, and notice how this changes the way in which you process your challenges and problems!

Related articlePlan more, worry less!

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 


Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

This masterclass teaches six complementary breathing techniques that will help you:

  • Connect to your body’s natural intelligence and capacity to move towards balance and harmony
  • Release stress and tension on progressively deeper levels
  • Combine relaxation with sustainably higher energy levels
  • Make your life and activities into a ‘flow’ state
  • Develop systematically deeper states of physical, psychological and spiritual concentration
  • Reduce over active thinking and cultivate stillness
  • Cultivate breathing patterns that are conducive to physical health and well-being

Read full details


Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation
The Summer Solstice (Called by the Celts ‘Alban Hefin’, or ‘the Light of Summer’) is the high point of summer in the northern hemisphere, the point of the Suns maximum power in the year, & the longest day. It is a good time to attune the life-force in the earth & creative energies within ourselves. We will be taking the time to get in touch with our own inner power, solar confidence & expressive self.

At the summer solstice, we can think about the autumn & winter periods that lie ahead of us, what our goals & expectations are, & sow the seeds on an inner level of the things that we wish to manifest over the next few months.
Full details



Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm
 – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

In a sentence: Learn how to work creatively with uncertainty, imperfection and life’s inherent messiness to realize your leadership and self-leadership potential.  Manage stress and anxiety better using mindfulness in combination with the practical philosophy of Wabi-Sabi.
Principle aspects of Wabi-Sabi include:

  • An appreciation of the beauty of the impermanent, the imperfect and incomplete
  • A recognition of the value of humility
  • A willingness to engage with the unconventional

Read full details


Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

Early bird offer: Up until the 7th June SGD$680 (Course price $850)

Overview: This is a weekend, three-session dynamic mindfulness program designed for:

  • Those looking for an engaged, practical mindfulness course designed to build resilience, effectiveness and wellness in the face of work and life challenges
  • Trainers, coaches and therapists looking to integrate mindfulness into their own professional practice with clients
  • People who have been through basic conventional mindfulness training programs and are looking for the next level of practice and performance

The essential content of the course is ten separate but interlinked mindfulness meditation practices…

Read full details

 


 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Wednesday – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness