Category: Mindful Resilience

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Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present

Awakening to independence and adulthood

“To be a truly independent adult means that the playful child in you can explore and enjoy her/himself in the safe space created by your independent self. We are aiming to create a complementary polarity between the two!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores adulthood as an object of mindful attention and development. The  Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom classes this week, either on Tuesday or Wednesday are on the subject of the article, so if you enjoy it do feel free to come along, live or online!

In the spirit of mindful independence,

Toby

 

Awakening to independence and adulthood

This is an article on how to mindfully stand in your own independence and sense of being adult. I want to use two quotes, the first a short story from Anthony De Mello from the book ‘One Minute Wisdom’:

“ADULTHOOD”
To a disciple who was always at his prayers the Master said, “When will you stop
leaning on God and stand on your own two feet?”
The disciple was astonished. “But you are the one who taught us to look on God as
Father!”
“When will you learn that a father isn’t someone you can lean on but someone who
rids you of your tendency to lean?”

Here are a couple of mindful points following on from the story:

  1. Am I generally co-creating with other people (or God) instead of just leaning on them?
  2. Trusting in God and trying up your camel – In the story the Master encourages the disciple away from an unhealthy dependence upon God. This doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t pray at all, it’s just the psychological approach needs to be attended to. As the camel saying implies, the ‘independent adult’ part of the deal is to tie up your camel, or take responsibility for your challenges and life-path!

The second quote is from Nathaniel Branden on parenting, from his ‘Six pillars of self-esteem’:

“The proper aim of parental nurturing is to prepare a child for independent survival as an adult. An infant begins in a condition of total dependency. If his or her upbringing is successful, the young man or woman will have evolved out of that dependency into a self-respecting and self-responsible human being who is able to respond to the challenges of life competently and enthusiastically. He or she will be “Self-supporting” – not merely financially, but intellectually and psychologically.”

Some questions for contemplation here:

  • How am I encouraging my own inner child and self toward confident adult independence in my life and relationships?
  • What areas of my life do I currently tend to become overly dependent upon others?
  • When do I tend to feel child-like in the sense of unable to organize myself in the face of my challenges?

Exploring independence and adulthood somatically
The two quotes above encourage us to explore adult independence intellectually. We then need to ground that feeling of independent adulthood into a feeling, something that we can sense in our body, a way of holding ourself in the world.
Sit comfortably, and bring your attention onto your body and breathing. Once you have settled, explore images and ideas around feeling:

  • Confident and independent
  • Competent and, in a balanced way, ‘adult’

Once you have one or two powerful images and ideas in mind, simply try and bring their energy and sensibility into your body. Try and hold yourself in these ways. Notice what happens to subtle aspects of your body posture, facial expression and sense of inhabiting your own space. Breathe, relax an let your body and cellular structure get used to the experience. In your daily life you can practice holding your body in this way, speaking and acting from this space. By doing this you can quite rapidly enhance this fundamental sense of adulthood and independence.
Final point: To be a truly independent adult means that the playful child in you can explore and enjoy her/himself in the safe space created by your independent self. We are aiming to create a complementary polarity between the two!

Related article: Self-responsibility, becoming a self-determining entity

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

In case you missed this article last week: ‘Head in the Sun’ meditation

This is a simple meditation that combines cultivating a thought-free state with environmental awareness. Specifically, we use brain-relaxation in combination with awareness of the suns light to create the desired experience.

Finding the sun – This first stage is nice to do, and enhances the experience, but is not essential. Glance outside and locate the sun, physically in the sky. Get a sense of where it is in your current landscape. If the sun has gone down already, get a sense of where it is beneath the horizon.

Sitting in landscape – Then take a seat (this can also be done standing or lying and, when your used to it, walking) Send your awareness out to the horizon line in the landscape around you. Get a feel for the curve of the earth’s surface extending around you from your feet, the sun in the sky above, and the living planet beneath you. Breath and relax with this for a short while.
Read full article

Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

In a sentence: Learn the art of ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom through integrative meditation
Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series is an ongoing series that looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention. In this four class series we take instant awakening, miraculous-ness, independence and sensitivity as our doorways to awakening….read full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease creative imagery Enlightened Flow Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Zen Meditation

The meditators secret weapon (the wisdom of non-thinking)

“Once you have non-thinking in the mix, you can then return to your senses and thinking refreshed, really enjoying participating in them, rather than feeling stuck on a continuous ‘hamster wheel’ of thinking and sensing. You can start to think better, and have more fun doing so”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks at the wisdom of non-thinking, one of my favorite subjects!
If you enjoy the article, I have a new series of meditation classes starting this Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th  – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom, its the last series of the year, full of ways to activate your own natural widsom.

Then this weekend I’ll be starting the Environmental meditation masterclass & mini-retreat – Working consciously with the forces of nature. If your curious about how to bond deeply with nature through meditation, then this is a great session to come along to!

In the spirit of natural non-thinking,

Toby

The meditators secret weapon (the wisdom of non-thinking)

What is it about being a meditator that makes you more resilient to stress, the unknown, uncertainty, misfortune and the multitude of life’s other challenges? This is a question that can be answered in a number of different ways, but the one I want to explore here can be captured in one expression: Non-thinking.

The normal pattern of a person’s attention
For most people whilst they are awake, their attention toggles between:

  • Their sensory awareness, navigating physical obstacles, looking at stuff, listening and so on and
  • Thinking. Thinking about what they experience with their senses, about their work, their problems, what to plan, their pleasures ect…

Sensing and thinking, with the attendant emotions and feelings, is the basic pattern of a person’s consciousness. This is fine if life is all non-stress and enjoyment. But if it isn’t all that way like mine (and I suspect yours), then this pattern can become stressful and tiring, especially when your mind cannot stop thinking about stuff, over-analyzing and generally going a bit too fast.

The pattern of a meditator’s daily attention
So of course, a meditators attention also includes sensing and thinking. But as well as these two, her or his awareness also regularly includes non-thinking, or periods of time where they ‘drop out’ of their mind, and let their sensory attention rest also. They practice doing no-thing, going no-where, and being no-one. They let their mind and attention rest in the regenerative state of thoughtlessness.

The joy and wisdom of non-thinking
Initially, non-thinking looks valueless in the sense of nothing seems to be getting done! However, in this state of non-doing:

  • The self can recover its energy and sense of harmony
  • Problem’s ‘change’ in the sense that when you put them down for a while and come back to them, they literally seem different(!)
  • The joy of simple presence becomes manifest
  • You discover that you can be in charge of the pace of your life, rather than your compulsive thinking

The joy of thinking and the senses
Once you have non-thinking in the mix, you can then return to your senses and thinking refreshed, really enjoying participating in them, rather than feeling stuck on a continuous ‘hamster wheel’ of thinking and sensing. You can start to think better, and have more fun doing so!

Glimpsing non-thinking
Its easy to get discouraged with non-thinking, simply because if you are trying to do it for the first time it can seem difficult to do. However, if you watch your mind, you will start to notice that every now and again, naturally there will be a gap in your thoughts. If you notice those spaces as you watch and stay with them, then you start to glimpse non-thinking, just for a second or two at a time. If you practice this for a few minutes each day, then you’ll go from one second to three, to five to ten and so on. Five minutes of this, five days a week over a month will be enough to build your basic competency, which is not much, especially considering what you have to gain!

The sun between the clouds
Once you have your basic non-thinking space, you can brighten it in the following way: Imagine that the spaces between your thoughts are like watching the sky between the clouds. Imagine the sun is shining in that sky, so it is a bright, living space, rather than a blank, cold one. This simple imaginary practice can accelerate the speed at which you are able to experience the brighter, living dimensions of your consciousness that lie beyond your thinking mind. These levels are deeply regenerative and help give a glow to your whole interior space.
Enjoy your non-thinking!

Related article: Awakening to your innate wisdom

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

In a sentence: Learn the art of ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom through integrative meditation
Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series is an ongoing series that looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention. In this four class series we take instant awakening, miraculous-ness, independence and sensitivity as our doorways to awakening….read full details

Saturday 20th & 27th November – Environmental meditation masterclass & mini-retreat – Working consciously with the forces of nature

In a sentence: Learn to work consciously with the forces of nature and your environment as well develop powerful meditation states.

There is much concern and talk today about the state of the environment and the relationship of humankind to nature. These sessions cover methods to:

  • Attune to the energies of our immediate and larger environment
  • Build a living relationship to the landscape around us
  • Access meditation states based upon our environment that provide deep powerful peace, as well as increasing our energy in an harmonious manner
  • Increase our sense of being a participant in the miracle of nature
  • Inspire us to live an embodied life in tune with the living Earth and Universe around, above and below us

Read full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

Saturday 20th & 27th November – Environmental meditation masterclass & mini-retreat – Working consciously with the forces of nature

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Enlightened Flow Insight Meditation Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience One Minute Mindfulness Presence and being present

Awakening to your innate wisdom

“As we get older it becomes easier and easier to spend time on auto-pilot, just using our habitual mind to cruise through our day without really being vibrantly alive to our experience. To be a meditator is to commit to that NOT happening”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on how to activate your innate wisdom, or your potential for wisdom in the moment, Enthusiasm for this practice then naturally leads to mature wisdom over time.
If you enjoy the article, I have a new series of meditation classes starting on November Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th  – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom, your most welcome to join in, either live or online!

In the spirit of wisdom,

Toby

Awakening to your innate wisdom

“Is there such a thing as One Minute Wisdom?’
“There certainly is,” said the Master.
“But surely one minute is too brief?”
“It is fifty-nine seconds too long. “
To his puzzled disciples the Master later said. “How much time does it take to catch
sight of the moon?”
“Then why all these years of spiritual endeavor?”
“Opening one’s eyes may take a lifetime. Seeing is done in a flash. “

The quote above is from Anthony De Mello’s ‘One Minute wisdom’. Sometime it can feel as if our wisdom is a long way off, or something that we have to work hard and long to acquire over a lifetime, or even lifetimes. From the point of view of experiential mindfulness and meditation however, we can start to connect o our own innate wisdom, that is the wisdom that is already present in us, right now. So how do we do that?

From unconscious to conscious
Meditation from one point of view is to be experiencing something, and to be aware that you are experiencing it. So, for example:

  • You are experiencing my body right now. If you then become aware of your experience of the body, you them move into a meditative relationship, which is to say a conscious one, with your body
  • Similarly, if I am experiencing anxiety, and I then become aware of that anxiety, I move into a mindful state around the anxiety, I am awake to it
  • Likewise, if I am daydreaming, and I become conscious of the daydreaming state, then I ‘awaken’ to it, I become present to it

Innate wisdom doesn’t mean that you always know exactly what to do in any given situation, it means being awake to the situation, knowing you are there, and feeling alive within that moment. If you are conscious of what’s present for you in the moment, then you are then going to be bring whatever knowledge that you have to the table in order to ‘solve’ whatever presenting problems there may be. If there is no presenting problem, then you can simply enjoy being awake and grasping what the moment has to offer.
In the De Mello quote above the Master comments on how long it takes to awaken our innate wisdom:
“But surely one minute is too brief?”
“It is fifty-nine seconds too long. “
You can literally go from being ‘asleep’ unconscious and/or ignorant in one moment, to being ‘awake’ in the next. Its simply a matter of becoming aware or conscious of what you are experiencing. To awaken in this way means you give birth to your wisdom in that moment. It needs only a second!

The strengthening of the conscious mind
From another point of view, meditation can be defined as “The strengthening of the conscious mind and its function”. Rather than being a formal, sit-down practice, in this sense meditation is more of a deep commitment to live consciously rather than unconsciously, to be awake to life rather than sleep-walking though it. As we get older it becomes easier and easier to spend time on auto-pilot, just using our habitual mind to cruise through our day without really being vibrantly alive to our experience. To be a meditator is to commit to that NOT happening. It means to commit to being conscious, and to use the wisdom of being conscious.

“Then why all these years of spiritual endeavor?”
“Opening one’s eyes may take a lifetime. Seeing is done in a flash. “
In this final section of the story, the Master clarifies; we can awaken our innate wisdom in a flash, but this does not make us a Master. However, if we commit to awakening our innate wisdom in this moment, and the next and the next, then our wisdom gradually matures and develops in capability. Mature wisdom takes a lifetime, but the next step is always right in front of you.

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

In a sentence: Learn the art of ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom through integrative meditation
Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series is an ongoing series that looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention. In this four class series we take instant awakening, miraculous-ness, independence and sensitivity as our doorways to awakening….read full details

Saturday 20th & 27th November – Environmental meditation masterclass & mini-retreat – Working consciously with the forces of nature

In a sentence: Learn to work consciously with the forces of nature and your environment as well develop powerful meditation states.

There is much concern and talk today about the state of the environment and the relationship of humankind to nature. These sessions cover methods to:

  • Attune to the energies of our immediate and larger environment
  • Build a living relationship to the landscape around us
  • Access meditation states based upon our environment that provide deep powerful peace, as well as increasing our energy in an harmonious manner
  • Increase our sense of being a participant in the miracle of nature
  • Inspire us to live an embodied life in tune with the living Earth and Universe around, above and below us

Read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Begins Tues 14/Weds 15th September – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

Saturday 20th & 27th November – Environmental meditation masterclass & mini-retreat – Working consciously with the forces of nature

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Biographical Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Mindfully dis-agreeable

Dear Integral Meditators,

One of the reasons we shy away from dis-agreeable people and energy is that it can feel pretty volatile, even violent at times. This doesn’t mean we can avoid it however, it makes it an even more important aspect of ourselves that we need to master in the right way. The article below explores how to do start doing this.

Heads up for this weeks Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session on Tuesday & Wednesday evenings, and for the start next Monday of  The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood.

In the spirit of agreeably dis-agreeable,

Toby

Mindfully dis-agreeable

Recently I’ve been encountering some dis-agreeable people in my life, and I’ve also noticed my coaching clients are facing a few as well! Being by nature a fairly agreeable person, I find dealing with people who are dis-agreeable quite challenging. This is not necessarily because they are ‘bad’ and I am ‘good’. Rather it is because they feel comfortable and even enjoy conflict, whereas for me I prefer reconciliation, co-operation, consideration and other ‘agreeable’ ways of interacting. Over the years it’s become very clear to me that, if you are a kind gentle person without an appropriately dis-agreeable side, then this places you at a big dis-advantage in life. You need to have access to gentleness and kindness, balanced by the capacity to manage conflict appropriately.

The higher and lower expressions of dis-agreeable
One of the reasons you might be reluctant to embrace your dis-agreeable side is that you confuse it with outright negativity. You may equate dis-agreeable with qualities like:

  • Delusional and paranoid
  • Grumpy or negatively angry
  • Unreasonable
  • Emotionally immature or stunted
  • Sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies
  • Physically or psychologically abusive or violent

However, dis-agreeable can also mean the appropriate, balanced capacity to be appropriately

  • Assertive and powerful
  • Just and fair
  • Protective of self and others
  • Defend boundaries
  • Stand up to bullies
  • Tell the and/or your truth

This second list of dis-agreeable qualities I think you can see are important to develop and own within yourself.

Agreeable is always good?
Contrastingly, we often have the idea that ‘agreeable’ is always a good quality. It means you are a person who is kind, caring, conciliatory, looking for compromise, considerate and so on. However, the lower quality of imbalanced agreeable people includes

  • Being submissive and weak
  • Running away from conflict
  • Avoiding reality, living in a dreamworld
  • Can’t speak up for themselves
  • Avoids an argument of conversation that needs having
  • Is an escapist
  • Represses their anger and becomes vulnerable to depression or low self-esteem

So then, to learn to be ‘good’ at dis-agreeability means:

  • To learn to be happy to be in conflict with someone and hold your space/position
  • Stop hoping the other person will be reasonable, and just take each transaction one at a time without overly stressing about it
  • Learn to tolerate and even enjoy dis-agreements
  • To not be intimidated by the anger or aggression of others
  • To own your own positive anger and aggression in the service of the good and the true

One of the reasons we shy away from dis-agreeable energy is that it can feel pretty volatile and even violent at times. This doesn’t mean we can avoid it however, it makes it an even more important aspect of our energy that we need to master in the right way!
The next time you are in a space where there is conflict, and where there are dis-agreeable people around, pay attention, there is a lot to train in and get mindfully better at!

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Tues 19th & Weds 20th October – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

About the meditation: We all live our life within an environment that consists fundamentally/experientially of the Earth, Moon, Sun and Stars. The monthly lunar cycle describes our relationship to the Moon, and the powerful influence that it has on our life. In the physical world we see this influence most obviously in the tides of the sea. In our inner life we experience it as the coming and going of energy, moods and emotions within our psyche. This meditation, done on or around the full moon capitalises on the heightened lunar energies at this time of the month to…read full details

Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving in your life as a man?

Much is asked of men in their traditional roles as fathers and sons, partners and husbands, students and teachers, employees and employers. The men’s group is a professionally moderated and confidential forum for men. A forum is a safe place for exploring, learning and sharing the successful perspectives, skills, and strategies needed to address and manage the unique issues, problems, and triumphs in our community…read full details

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Samhain (Aka All hallows eve, or Halloween) is the time in the northern hemisphere when we enter the darker months of the year & winter. Traditionally it is said to be the time when the veil between the world of the living and the inner world of our ancestors is said to be thinnest. Consequently, it is an ideal time for us to commune with our ancestors in meditation…read full details

Friday 5th November 7.30-8.30pm – Online New moon beginners mind, health visualization & envisioning session

About the session: This class is done monthly around the turn of the new moon and enable us to open to new beginnings, new possibilities and make a fresh start, specifically with regard to physical health and psychological wellbeing
“A picture speaks a thousand words” as the saying goes! In meditation we use  two main methods:

  • Visualization – The conscious use of images and imagery to invoke a better present moment and future experience of health
  • Envisioning – The seeking of spontaneous inner visions that connect us to sources of health & support in the imaginal world, and inspire us toward greater levels of energy energy and wellbeing

Read full details…

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Life Coaching and Meditation coaching 3-6month packages are on a 15% offer up until Weds 20th October. If getting some coaching is an idea you have been contemplating, then this is a good opportunity to get it and save some money on the price. 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Begins Tues 14/Weds 15th September – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

Saturday October 16th & 23rd, 10am-4pm – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Friday 5th November 7.30-8.30pm – Online New moon beginners mind, health visualization & envisioning session

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease creative imagery Energy Meditation Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Qi gong

Meditating with an energy ball (Drawing energy from the un-manifest)

Dear integral Meditators,

If you can imagine that,  level of consciousness itself there is basically a limitless reserve of energy. One question coming from this might then be “How can I tap into that level in order to experience more energy for myself on the mental and physical level?” The article below explores this question in a practical and experiential manner. If you enjoy it, the technique is one we will be using as part of this weeks Polarity meditation class.
Heads up for this weekends Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing. If you’ve been looking for a really consolidated set of breathing-for-health techniques, this is it!

My Life Coaching and Meditation coaching 3-6month packages are on a 15% offer up until Weds 20th October. If getting some coaching is an idea you have been contemplating, then this is a good opportunity to get it and save some money on the price.

In the spirit of energy,

Toby

Meditating with an energy ball (Drawing energy from the un-manifest)

In many schools of meditation, speaking in simple terms, we work with three levels of mind, consciousness and energy:

  1. The gross physical and sensory
  2. The subtle mental level
  3. The very subtle level of consciousness itself

If you can imagine that, on the third level of consciousness itself there is basically a limitless reserve of energy. One question coming from this might then be “How can I tap into that level in order to experience more energy for myself on the mental and physical level?” The following meditation is one that I have been working with a long time, originally arising from the Qi gong practice that I have had since the 90’s. It’s extremely simple, just requiring a bit of focus and some familiarity. Also helpful is a playful, child-like approach to the visualization. It can be done sitting, standing or lying down.

The meditation
If you are doing this sitting upright, then you can place your hands in your lap, palms facing up, as if they were cupping a ball. You can make the ball football size, or smaller or bigger if you like according to preference. Football size is a good place to start.
Building the ball – Now you need to start to visualize a ball of light sitting in your hands. You can change it up later on, but if you start with just a simple white light, then that works well. Build the image and focus upon it, trying to ‘feel’ it as much as see it.
In the centre of the ball imagine there is a point of light. Imagine it is a point of light through which the energy of universal consciousness can flow out into this world. Imagine light and energy flowing out from this point of light and filling the ball, as if the point of light were a miniature sun.
Feel the ball of light gently pulsing with this energy, and radiate out up through the palms of your hand into your body. You can also feel it radiating out into your body directly through the surface facing your belly and legs. As it does this, you will feel it highlighting areas of your body where there may be energy blockages, heaviness, tension etc… Just let it work with your body’s energy in an organic manner, bringing balance, energy and renewal to your cellular structure.

That’s basically it! It’s a great exercise for

  • Practising mindfully building images and thought-form
  • Developing your awareness of subtle energy and how to work with it
  • Clearing you body of imbalanced energy, particularly anytime you feel that it is out of balance

I use this a lot after facilitating classes or if there has been a heavy day of coaching or socializing, just as a way of processing relatively easily and effortlessly the energy that has been passing though my body-mind in the course of the day’s interaction’s.
You can find a classical Qigong standing version here: Holding your buddha belly

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

 

Last week article: Basic Deep breathing – How to & the benefits

The benefits
Basic deep breathing is a fundamental health and meditation practice, that provides many benefits, here is a little list just to get your appetite for the practice:
According to ancient Taoist view, the vital force provided by air through breathing is even more important to health and longevity than that provided by food and water through digestion. As most spiritual practitioners and meditators are aware, our breathing also links the activity of our consciousness with our body. Deep breathing is a way to…read full article

  • Stimulate and regulate your glands
  • Improve metabolism and sleep
  • Improve the condition of your heart and respiratory system
  • Promote vitality and open energy channels within your etheric body
  • From the mental and emotional levels, mastering one’s breathing promotes deeper relaxation, de-stresses ones over stimulated nervous system and gives much more increased mental clarity.
  • From the spiritual perspective, mastering one’s breathing provides a basis for developing deep concentration and a nurturing connection to one’s soul

The basic technique
Here are some basic pointers for good quality, basic deeper breathing. It may look a little complex when you first read it, but once you have tried it a few times you’ll see its quite easy.

  • Sitting or standing in an upright position, breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth, or in thru the nose out through the nose
  • Aim to breathe 5-10% deeper and longer, or 65-70% of your lung capacity
  • Make the length or inhalation and exhalation either roughly equal, or slightly longer on the exhalation
  • Start your inhalation by sending the air down to the bottom of your lungs, filling them from the bottom up. Notice movement of the belly when you do this.
  • Once you have a sense of the start, then focus on expanding the mid-lung/ribcage in the middle part of the inhalation, and notice the slight rising of the collar bone as you fill the clavicles, or top part of the lungs
  • Make the pace of the inhale and exhale smoothly and even
  • Option to contract the pelvic floor gently to about 30% of muscle strength during the inhalation, and at the top of the inbreath. Relax pelvic floor as you exhale.
  • Option to pause briefly at the top of the inbreath, and/or bottom of outbreath. Do not pause so long as you find yourself out of breath!
  • If you want to emphasize oxygenating the body and building energy, do the breathing a little more strongly. If you want to emphasize the breathing to calm your mind and move toward a meditative state, do it in a quieter, gentler manner.
  • You can start with short periods of time, such as 3 minutes a day, and build up to longer, though longer does not need to be more than 10mins at a time
  • You can breathe in ‘sets’ of say six breaths at a time, with short pauses in-between to relax and get a sense of the enjoyable effects of the practice.

Wishing you well in your breathing!

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Saturday October 16th & 23rd – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

In a sentence: Learn unique Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and improve your meditation.

Overview: According to the ancient Chinese view, the vital force provided by air through breathing is even more important to health and longevity than that provided by food and water through digestion. The way in which we breathe is also a direct reflection of the levels of stress that we are feeling; when we feel calm our breathing becomes deep and regular, when we feel stress our breathing becomes shallower and quicker…read full details

Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving in your life as a man?

Much is asked of men in their traditional roles as fathers and sons, partners and husbands, students and teachers, employees and employers. The men’s group is a professionally moderated and confidential forum for men. A forum is a safe place for exploring, learning and sharing the successful perspectives, skills, and strategies needed to address and manage the unique issues, problems, and triumphs in our community…read full details

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Samhain (Aka All hallows eve, or Halloween) is the time in the northern hemisphere when we enter the darker months of the year & winter. Traditionally it is said to be the time when the veil between the world of the living and the inner world of our ancestors is said to be thinnest. Consequently, it is an ideal time for us to commune with our ancestors in meditation…read full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Life Coaching and Meditation coaching 3-6month packages are on a 15% offer up until Weds 20th October. If getting some coaching is an idea you have been contemplating, then this is a good opportunity to get it and save some money on the price. 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Begins Tues 14/Weds 15th September – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

Tues 19th & Weds 20th October – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday October 23rd, 10am-4pm – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Friday 5th November 7.30-8.30pm – Online New moon beginners mind, health visualization & envisioning session

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight creative imagery Integral Awareness Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present

Mastering the cycle of thoughts & emotions

‘Everyday, for most of the day, your thoughts and emotions are interacting with each other. Your basic sense of wellness or not on the psychological level depends in large part on how you are managing this dependent relationship’

 

Dear Integral Meditators,

The article below looks at mastery of thoughts and emotions, and how we can start to master the dynamic between them using mindfulness.
If you enjoy the article, them this weeks Tuesday and Wednesday polarity meditation classes will be focused on this subject!
Live attendance is limited to 10pax per class, so advanced booking is necessary if you want to coe live, rather than online.

In the spirit of inner balance,

Toby

Mastering the cycle of thoughts & emotions

Thoughts and emotions – Our basic everyday psychological dynamic
Everyday, for most of the day, your thoughts and emotions are interacting with each other. Your basic sense of wellness or not on the psychological level depends in large part on how you are managing this dependent relationship. So, to begin, start to watch and notice the dependent relationship between thoughts and emotions in your daily life. Also notice that in this cycle are actions and reactions. We think, then we feel, then we do, we experience a reaction to what we do, which creates feeling, that creates thoughts, that creates actions and so on….

Noticing the influence of the body and environment
If you start to watch, you will also notice feeling and instincts from the body affecting this cycle; a balanced body makes it easier to think and emote well, an imbalanced one makes it more difficult. You will also notice that the inverse is also true; you can to a large degree create wellness in the body by thinking and feeling in a balanced way.
Your environment and outer interactions stimulate a lot of thinking and feeling. Again, notice the dependent relationship; you can create outer wellness by balancing your thinking and feeling, or your thinking and feeling can create outer chaos for you!

‘Not letting difficult feelings become negative emotions and thoughts’
This is a principle that I’ve been using a lot recently. You can substantially break the cycle of negative thinking and emoting by accepting, owning and looking after difficult feelings, not letting them provoke further reactions. Yesterday afternoon I was feeling fairly low and despondent, by accepting and looking after the feeling, and focusing on some good thoughts and experiences, I was feeling back to balance and wellness by the early evening. It could have spiralled, but it didn’t because I held to the principle.

Being guided by the higher mind and intentions
Another super practical principal I find works well is to allow my thinking to be guided by higher philosophical principles. For example, if I can hold to and align my thinking around the Platonic principles of the good, the beautiful and the true (another triad is justice, compassion and harmony), then I find my thinking tends to help me navigate out of a bunch or situations that would otherwise create a lot of negativity emotions wise.

The wheel of fortune
Imagine your everyday thinking and feeling as like a wheel spinning around you. You are sitting in the ‘hub’ of the wheel, watching it spin. As you watch, you can choose to occasionally intervene in the dynamic; introducing thoughts and emotions, or letting go of them. As you relax into the process notice how you can:

  1. Maintain balance by simply watching and holding that observational position
  2. Affect the balance by intervening strategically

This is a simple image that can take you a long way in meditation, and bring you experiential mastery of the polarity between your thoughts and feelings.

Related articles: Finding the center of the wheel
A wheel spinning  out of balance

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Ongoing weekly sessions – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

In a sentence: Learn how to integrate different aspects of yourself and your world into complementary polarities in order to increase your internal harmony, strength and wellbeing

Overview: Polarity meditation is a tradition of meditation that has its precedent in both eastern and western forms of meditation. In the east it is found in Taoist meditation with yin & yang, and in the west within the Tree of Life & Qabalah. In this series we will be focusing on polarities
Read full details…

Saturday October 16th & 23rd – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

In a sentence: Learn unique Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and improve your meditation.

Overview: According to the ancient Chinese view, the vital force provided by air through breathing is even more important to health and longevity than that provided by food and water through digestion. The way in which we breathe is also a direct reflection of the levels of stress that we are feeling; when we feel calm our breathing becomes deep and regular, when we feel stress our breathing becomes shallower and quicker…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Begins Tues 14/Weds 15th September – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

Saturday 25th September – Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Saturday October 23rd, 10am-4pm – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Biographical Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Meditation and Psychology mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Three examples of mindful stress-transformation

Dear Integral Meditators,

One major premise of my stress transformation techniques is that it is your perception of stress defines your experience of it. Positive/growth enhancing stress and negative/debilitating stress are subjective and potentially changeable for the better. The article below explores three examples from my life recently where I have been practicing changing my perception in order to transform the experience of my stress.

If you’d like to really get to grips with your own stress, and see what you can transform it into, the do consider my  Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Masterclass & Mini-retreat this coming Saturday. You can attend it live or online.

In the spirit of flow,

Toby

Three examples of mindful stress-transformation

One major premise of my stress transformation techniques is that it is your perception of stress defines your experience of it. Positive/growth enhancing stress and negative/debilitating stress are subjective and potentially changeable for the better. Here are three examples from my life recently where I have been practicing changing my perception in order to transform the experience of my stress.

Relaxing and flowing with impermanence – During the Covid pandemic, the Singapore government has been making regular tactical changes to its approach to the disease. It has meant that sometimes I have been able to do live meditation classes, sometimes not. Sometimes this affects my income negatively, sometimes it has improved it. I have found myself with gaps in my schedule as a result of Covid, but then sometimes overly busy and scrambling. I have taken this disruptive environment as a training in relaxing and flowing with impermanence, rather than something that is in the way of my wellbeing. As I have practiced relaxing and flowing with the change, I have found that the calm of the flow has helped me make decisions that have helped me surf the challenges of the reality that I (and all of us) are faced with.

Angry at obstacles – In many mindfulness systems anger is something to be avoided, released or calmed. All of these methods are potentially useful and valuable. But anger is also a powerful emotion that, if harnessed can be used to positive ends. Recently I have been deliberately focusing on the anger within me coming from problems that repeatedly get in the way of me doing my work. When I do get the opportunity to sit down and be productive, I have focused on my anger and irritability to start, and then directed that force to getting things done in the time that I have available. I use it to focus on what I am doing and get s#*t done. Once my allocated work time is up, I then change into a mode of relaxation and acceptance. In this way I use my anger consciously as a focusing and productivity tool.

Thinking slower and better to tackle overwhelm – Having a baby right now, being self-employed, also having a teenager and being quite recently married is a recipe for sometimes feeling overwhelmed. I have all of these things going on in my life, and recently there have been a series of unexpected events that have further come onto my agenda. Because of this the feeling of overwhelm has often been present for me. The instinct with overwhelm is either to panic and get busier, or give up and feel despair. What I have been doing is deliberately slowing down my thinking process (by about 15%), and then trying to think 15% better quality about what’s happening. As a result, I have been consistently surprised about how effective I have been in my choice-making and capacity to focus on tackling one issue at a time. The net result is that my confidence has increased, and my sense of satisfaction at being able to basically keep it together in dis-orienting circumstances.

So, there you go, three examples from my life right now. I hope they inspire you to be thoughtful about your own stress-transformation process, and how you can use your stress to grow mindfully during this phase of your journey.

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Ongoing weekly sessions – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

In a sentence: Learn how to integrate different aspects of yourself and your world into complementary polarities in order to increase your internal harmony, strength and wellbeing

Overview: Polarity meditation is a tradition of meditation that has its precedent in both eastern and western forms of meditation. In the east it is found in Taoist meditation with yin & yang, and in the west within the Tree of Life & Qabalah. In this series we will be focusing on polarities
Read full details…

Saturday 25th September – Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Masterclass & Mini-retreat
One sentence summary: Learn how to understand, re-direct and make use of stress, anxiety and difficult emotions through mindfulness and meditation
Overview: Stress, anxiety, fear, anger, attachment – Ordinarily we see these states of mind and emotion as negative; things that get in the way of our happiness and wellbeing, and prevent us from achieving the goals and quality of life that we would like.
But what if there was a way in which we could learn to work with these negative and difficult energies in such a way that we could transform and redirect them, making them sources of positive and empowering energy?…Read full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Begins Tues 14/Weds 15th September – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

Saturday 25th September – Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Saturday October 23rd, 10am-4pm – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Energy Meditation Inner vision Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Motivation and scope

Connecting to higher, deeper emotions (Enjoying emotional resilience)

“What feeling tones are you going to enjoy today?”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Our day-to-day emotions often grind us down. Unless we are careful, this can be our main experience of emotions, which is an energy sapping experience! But emotions can also inspire us, and create energy in us. What if we were able to spend more time in our day connecting to these types of emotional state? This Saturday I will be doing my Mindfulness for Emotional Intelligence Masterclass, which is designed to help you do exactly that; spend more time in emotional states that are energising and fulfilling. You are most welcome to join me.

My Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life Workshop on Saturday the 28th August is also one that works a lot with feeling tones, colours and images. It’s one worth considering from the perspective of emotional range.

In the spirit of feeling tones,

Toby

Connecting to higher, deeper emotions (Enjoying emotional resilience)

Emotions can inspire you
Our day-to-day emotions often grind us down. The frustration of work, the anxiety around an uncertain future, the fatigue of having to tell the kids to do things five times in a row, the low-grade resentment towards others, loneliness, clinging, nervousness…the list goes on. Unless we are careful, this can be our main experience of emotions, which is an energy sapping experience!
But emotions can also inspire us and create energy in us. What if we were able to spend more time in our day connecting to these types of emotional state?

Emotions as feeling tones
One way of thinking about emotions is that they are the ‘feeling tones’ associated with particular thoughts, people, places, things and environments. To connect to your higher, deeper emotional states notice what thoughts, people, places, things, memories stimulate these higher, harmonious and or deeper feeling tones within you. If you start to look, you’ll see you have access to a range of this type of emotions:

  • Memories of significant meetings and moments with humans, animals and places
  • Particular pieces of music or art
  • Landscapes that you know well
  • Moments in stories or movies

Getting familiar with your current range of higher, deeper emotions
By remembering and focusing on these ‘higher feeling tones’ you can make them more present in your everyday life. Once they become more stable you can use them to inspire and energise you though the day, so that you become an ’emotionally resilient’ and strong person. You can learn to radiate these emotions out from you into the world, so that you start affecting the people and places around you in a good way, rather than being a victim of the emotional ambience that surrounds you.

Two examples
The first example from my own life is I am currently listening to a lot of Sergio Leone’s music as I work. It’s kind of gritty and angelic at the same time, and gives me a sense of inspiration, courageousness and tenacity, amongst other things. It’s not a superficial ‘positive’ type of emotional time, its deep and visceral and heartfelt, which is what makes it so inspiring to me.
Childhood memories of ponds – The second example contrasts with the first. Whereas the first example is more dynamic the second is calm and contemplative. When I was a child I spent a lot of time seeking out and exploring ponds. Much of the time I was simple looking deeply into the water in silence. If I think about those times, the feeling tone associated with it rapidly activates and I find myself in a deeply calm emotional state.
Expanding your range
If you take these two examples, you might even see that there are higher and deeper emotions that you can be activating today that you haven’t experienced in a long time, but that are available to you.
What feeling tones are you going to enjoy today?

Related article: Your emotional feeling tones

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

In case you missed the earlier article: Finding permanence within the impermanent and fulfilment within the dissatisfying

It is well known that the one of the Buddha’s main teachings was that of impermanence, that ourself and all the things within and around us are in a state of continuous change. Buddha taught that our ordinary everyday existence has the nature of transience and, when we cling too tightly to changeable things, dissatisfaction, pain and suffering arise.
What is not quite so well known or understood is that Buddha also taught that by closely observing that which is impermanent and unsatisfactory we can discover in that very same act of observation that which is permanent, reliable, liberating and fulfilling. Liberation and permanence exist in the same space as impermanence and dissatisfaction.
Read article…

Saturday August 21st 9.30-11.30am – Mindfulness for Emotional Intelligence Masterclass

In a sentence: Learn how you can use mindfulness to develop your emotional range and skills

Much of our quality of life depends not so much on what we are experiencing, but the way in which we experience it. Our moods and emotional states to a large degree define the quality of our life experience, at work, in our relationships and in our leisure activities. This masterclass will lead you on an experiential journey to:

  • Understand what feelings, moods and emotions are and how to build an effective relationship to them
  • How to consolidate and expand your existing emotional strengths
  • How to deal with difficult and challenging emotions, and even turn them to your advantage
  • How to increase the diversity/range of emotions that are available to you for enjoyment, pleasure and life-effectiveness! Read full details…

 

Saturday August 28th, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life Workshop

Overview: The Tree of Life is an ancient and comprehensive system of meditation, personal development and inner growth represented by the diagram of a tree. Although it is best known as a ‘western’ tradition of spiritual growth (Judaist, Christian, Islamic), the fundamentals of the Tree of Life practice can be found in different ancient systems of meditation and mindfulness throughout the world. This workshop is a practical introduction to how to meditate with the Tree of Life in order to:

  • Stimulate holistic and integrated inner growth
  • Consciously develop different levels and states of consciousness in meditation, and learn how to transition or journey between them in the inner world
  • Stimulate the development of your creative, imaginal and visualization skills
  • Make systematic, organized contact with guides, teachers, healing forces and archetypal energies within the inner world
  • Practice different types of meditation to build different strengths, and help you deal with different inner challenges…read full details

 

The Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

  • Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
  • Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
  • Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner. Read full details

Watch Toby’s video on the Program

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts 6th&7th July – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Saturday August 21st 9.30-11.30am – Mindfulness for Emotional Intelligence Masterclass

Saturday August 28th, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life Workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Enlightened Flow Essential Spirituality Inner vision Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Zen Meditation

Aimlessness – The broken arrow

“Practiced in balance, the aimless life and the ‘on purpose’ life are complementary and mutually enhancing polarities within our mindfulness practice”

Dear Toby,

Much of meditation is about learning to appreciate spaces and absences as much as objects and things. This weeks article is an invitation to discover the value of an aimless life, with all that it has to offer us…
My Tuesday & Wednesday  classes continue the theme of Meditation from the perspective of Zen, where we will be meditating with some of the content of this article.

In the spirit of aimless presence,

Toby

 

Aimlessness – Less thinking, more awareness

The broken arrow
Imagine you are in a landscape with a Zen master. Imagine s/he takes out an arrow, holds it up and breaks it in two.  The broken arrow symbolizes the practice of aimlessness, because you cannot aim a broken arrow(!) Aimlessness here is the practice and experience of being whole and complete, here and now. It is not feeling the need to chase our bodily, psychological and spiritual desires all over the place.

Here is a working a definition of Aimlessness from Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh:
“Aimlessness is the attitude of someone who does not feel the need to run after anything, realize or obtain anything. It is for example not pursuing enlightenment as an object of knowledge.”

Aimlessness as a spiritual discipline invites us to let go of our instinctive grasping of enlightenment as something that we have to know or attain on an intellectual/physiological level, and helps us to connect with the enlightenment experience as something that is present within us here and now, revealed to us progressively as we let go of the various different levels of conditioning and conception within our consciousness.
On an intellectual and physical level, it helps us to move our body-mind into a state of deep, restful alertness, or regenerative presence. It helps us to recover from cognitive overload, and give our body a change to heal, rebalance itself and let go of stored tension.

Usually aimless-ness has a bit of a negative connotation. It implies we lack direction in our life, that we lack willpower or are indecisive. With mindful aimlessness we are trying to discover it as a meditative practice, and become an ‘aimlessly awakened person’.

Practicing aimlessness
You can practice aimlessness anywhere. You simply choose to set aside a certain amount of time, during which time the ‘aim’ is to let go as fully as possible of all aims, desires and objectives, and rest in the ‘resulting’ state of presence. Practicing aimlessness means relaxing more and more into a state of awareness, and letting go of thinking and imaging. The last few days I have just been setting my timer for 5-10mins at a time, and sitting quietly wherever I am at the time. It is wonderfully relaxing particularly if you have been feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders.
Aimlessness is closely related to four other ‘lessnesses’: Form-lessness, time-lessness, self-lessness and home-lessness.

Combining aimlessness and desire-lessness with our desires, and with living ‘on-purpose’
It is possible to have desires, and to work to execute them without getting attached to them. It is possible to have a dynamic and active life where we are working to fulfill appropriate desires, and at the same time develop and nurture our experience of aimlessness. It is only when we become attached or overly invested in our desires that they then have to power to take us out of our centre and cause us suffering and pain. Practiced in balance, the aimless life and the ‘on purpose’ life are complementary and mutually enhancing polarities within our mindfulness practice.

Related article: Not over-sharpening your blade (the three ‘uns’)

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Saturday August 21st 9.30-11.30am – Mindfulness for Emotional Intelligence Masterclass

In a sentence: Learn how you can use mindfulness to develop your emotional range and skills

Much of our quality of life depends not so much on what we are experiencing, but the way in which we experience it. Our moods and emotional states to a large degree define the quality of our life experience, at work, in our relationships and in our leisure activities. This masterclass will lead you on an experiential journey to:

  • Understand what feelings, moods and emotions are and how to build an effective relationship to them
  • How to consolidate and expand your existing emotional strengths
  • How to deal with difficult and challenging emotions, and even turn them to your advantage
  • How to increase the diversity/range of emotions that are available to you for enjoyment, pleasure and life-effectiveness! Read full details…

 

Saturday August 28th, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life Workshop

Overview: The Tree of Life is an ancient and comprehensive system of meditation, personal development and inner growth represented by the diagram of a tree. Although it is best known as a ‘western’ tradition of spiritual growth (Judaist, Christian, Islamic), the fundamentals of the Tree of Life practice can be found in different ancient systems of meditation and mindfulness throughout the world. This workshop is a practical introduction to how to meditate with the Tree of Life in order to:

  • Stimulate holistic and integrated inner growth
  • Consciously develop different levels and states of consciousness in meditation, and learn how to transition or journey between them in the inner world
  • Stimulate the development of your creative, imaginal and visualization skills
  • Make systematic, organized contact with guides, teachers, healing forces and archetypal energies within the inner world
  • Practice different types of meditation to build different strengths, and help you deal with different inner challenges…read full details

 

The Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

  • Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
  • Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
  • Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner. Read full details

Watch Toby’s video on the Program

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts 6th&7th July – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Saturday 17th, 24th, 31st July, 2-4pm – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three week
course

Saturday August 21st 9.30-11.30am – Mindfulness for Emotional Intelligence Masterclass

Saturday August 28th, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life Workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Biographical creative imagery Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Zen Meditation

What’s keeping me from relaxing in the present moment?

“If meditation is keeping our mind in the present moment, then a useful question to ask ourselves each day is: What is it within my experience of the present moment right now that I am resisting?”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article continues the Zen theme, exploring a counter-intuitive way of moving more deeply into the present, but noticing what is getting in the way.

In the spirit of presence,

Toby

 

 

 

What’s keeping me from relaxing in the present moment?

If meditation is keeping our mind in the present moment (which is one major foundational understanding of it), then a useful question to ask ourselves each day is “What is it within my experience of the present moment right now that I am resisting?” On one level it seems as if the present moment should be the simplest and most natural space to enter into, and yet we resist.

Rather than giving you the answer to this question in an abstract or philosophical manner, I’ll just outline my experience of this over the last weekend, and then offer some conclusions based around this.

Last weekend (it is now Monday) I noticed an uneasy feeling that was preventing me from feeling comfortable with myself and with my circumstances. It seemed as if my mind was on a hair trigger. As soon as I sat down to try and relax, all sorts of reasons to feel dissatisfied or uneasy would start forming in my mind. Recognizing that I had something of a challenge on my hands, I asked myself the question “What is it that is causing me to feel uneasy in the present moment and unable to relax?” I just sat and breathed with this question for a while, looking into my body and mind for an answer. Rationally I discovered no real reason for the unease; life is going quite well, no big crisis, nothing REALLY to feel bad about. However, when I looked in my body, on the energy level I found that there was what I would describe as a nervous “tick” in the centre of my chest. This is to say that there was a very uncomfortable energy in the centre of my chest that was creating a natural feeling of discomfort and dis-ease within my mind and body.

I could not shift this feeling straight away, and so I made a decision “If I cannot shift this uncomfortable feeling, then I am just going to have to ‘be’ with it, and make sure that I don’t allow it to affect my thinking, feeling and behavior in any kind of negative way”.

Having made this decision, my main task over the next 36 or so hours that it took for this heart energy to clear was simply to “be” with this uncomfortable energy, to accept it.

The act of choosing to be with the uncomfortable feeling, and not allow it to cause a problem is an example of when we need to make an extra effort to be present, even if there is a certain amount of willpower and effort involved.

Key points:

  • Asking yourself the question “What is it that is keeping me from entering into the present moment” is a very useful way of bringing yourself back to the present moment, even if you can feel resistance to it.
  • Asking the question regularly enables you to get to know the reasons you personally avoid being in the present moment much more intimately.
  • Sometimes being in the present moment means exerting your willpower and courage, and being compassionately honest with yourself.
  • Learning to be aware and take care of your mind and body when they are unhappy and uncomfortable is just as important, maybe more so than being present when things are going well.

If you ask this question, you will discover your own reasons for resisting the present moment, and uncover strategies for being able to relax and be present to whatever IS in your life, in a compassionate, attentive manner.

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

 

Ongoing – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

In a sentence: De-clutter your mind, develop concentration and create focused calm in your life by learning Zen meditation

Overview: The Zen School of Meditation arose from a combination of the teachings of the Buddha with the teachings of Taoism in China during the 6th century AD, where it became known as Chan meditation (‘Chan’ meaning ‘quietude’, or ‘meditation’). Later it was adopted by the Japanese, and it is they that called it Zen.

Zen is a particularly appropriate form of meditation for today’s hyper busy and challenging world because…Read full course details

Saturday 17th, 24th, 31st July, 2-4pm – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three week course

These sessions are specifically designed to help teens develop their real inner skills that help them be:

  • More effective at achieving their chosen goals
  • Build confidence,
  • Build resilience around stress and
  • Increase their capacity for fun and enjoyment as they learn.

Read full details…

Saturday 24th July, 9.30-11.30am – Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass

In a sentence: Learn how you can use mindfulness to develop your emotional range and skills

Much of our quality of life depends not so much on what we are experiencing, but the way in which we experience it. Our moods and emotional states to a large degree define the quality of our life experience, at work, in our relationships and in our leisure activities. This masterclass will lead you on an experiential journey
Read full details…

 

The new Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

  • Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
  • Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
  • Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner

Read full details

Watch Toby’s video on the Program

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts 6th&7th July – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Saturday 17th, 24th, 31st July, 2-4pm – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three week course

Saturday 24th July, 9.30-11.30am – Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology