“How can I align my expectations and my reality in this situation?”
Dear Toby,
There are plenty of ways of building your inner peace and resilience, the article below explores one that I’ve found to be very important over the years! You can also watch my short video on the subect here.
Heads up for the Mindful relationships masterclass on the 18th of July, can be participated in from anywhere in the world.
In the spirit of alignment,
Toby
Matching your expectation with reality (the sleeping or waking baby)
On a practical level I find my peace of mind depends a lot on aligning my expectations with my reality. If I can do this, then my sense of inner calm and peace remains resilient. If on the other hand my expectations and my reality clash, then that is a recipe for inner conflict.
Here is a simple example: At the moment I have a one-month old baby, so I have to get up a couple of times a night to feed her. Last night, both my feeds were very smooth; she woke up, I fed her, she hiccuped a little, but then drifted off to sleep quickly, and so then could I.
Tonight, I have exactly the same routine, there is a danger however. That danger is that, now that last night went so well, I may have an expectation that tonight will go just as smoothly. If tonight I expect my baby to behave just as well as she did last night, and then she doesn’t fall asleep, is cranky or otherwise fussy, then my expectation will be frustrated, and my inner stability upset.
In reality I have to go into tonight thinking that it may be an easy night, or it may be a tough one. I need to treat it as if I were doing it for the first time, and not let my expectations get ahead of me. That way, I can face whatever happens in reality as stably and calmly as possible. Because my expectation and my reality are aligned, then I can face what comes with a mindfully unified front!
Of course, you can apply this principle to all other life situations. The essential mindful question here is:
If you can answer this question successfully, then your chances of both success, effectiveness and enjoyment are optimized, even in stressful situations.
Watch Toby’s one minute video on matching your expectations with reality:
Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020
Saturday 18th July, 4-6pm – Mindful relationships masterclassLearn how you can use mindfulness improve your relationships and relationship skills
Relationships form a major part of our happiness and enjoyment in life, but that can also be difficult, complicated, challenging and confusing. This two-hour masterclass focuses on practical skills to help you get the most out or your relationships, both professional and personal. By changing the way you pay attention, you can change your relationships! You will learn:
Tues 21st July 7.30-8.30pm, Weds 22nd July 7.30-8.3pm – Monthly new moon, new beginnings visualization and envisioning sessions
These are meditation classes done monthly around the turn of the new moon that enable us to open to new beginnings, new possibilities and make a fresh start with regard to:
- Our health
- Our inner growth
- And our life’s purpose and future goals
Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with TobyAre you looking a coach who can help you to:
- Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
- Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
- Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
- Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Saturday 25th July, 2.30-5.30pm – Environmental meditation masterclass – Working consciously with the forces of natureIn a sentence: Learn to work consciously with the forces of nature and your environment as well develop powerful meditation states.
There is much concern and talk today about the state of the environment and the relationship of humankind to nature. This is a workshop that will introduce you to simple, ancient meditation techniques to….
Sunday July 19th & 26th, 5-5.50pm – Online Qi gong workout class
This is a Qi gong session that begins with movement, breathing and energy work to thoroughly energize and refresh your body, nervous system and energy meridians and regenerate your physical, energetic, mental and spiritual being…read full details
Tues 21st July 7.30-8.30pm, Weds 22nd July 7.30-8.3pm – Monthly new moon, new beginnings visualization and envisioning sessions
These are meditation classes done monthly around the turn of the new moon that enable us to open to new beginnings, new possibilities and make a fresh start with regard to:
- Our health
- Our inner growth
- And our life’s purpose and future goals
Online Integral Meditation & Mindfulness classesBuild focus, beat stress, cultivate wellbeing!
Each session involves simple practices that you can apply to make a real difference to your wellbeing and effectiveness in life…full details of classes
Coming in July: High performance bootcamp – Using mindfulness to operate at your peak without burning out
Are you a high-potential individual who often feels overworked, stressed, sleep-deprived, or mentally and physically exhausted? Yet, you are expected to be on your A-game everyday, make clear decisions, problem solve, and be fully focused and present for your employer and teams? Do you wonder if performance in your career and your well-being are a zero-sum game, and see your well-being fall to the sidelines under the ever increasing work commitments.
At a glance: All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:
Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)
Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)
Tuesday’s at 12.30-1.20 – Ongoing Tuesday Lunchtime meditation class @Space2B
Ongoing Sundays 6-6.50pm – Qi gong energy body activation meditation (Livestream)
Saturday 18th July, 4-6pm – Mindful relationships masterclass
Sunday July 19th, 26th – Qi gong workout class
Tues 21st July 7.30-8.30pm, Weds 22nd July 7.30-8.3pm – Monthly new moon, new beginnings visualization and envisioning sessions
Saturday 25th July 10.30am-12noon – ONLINE Get your meditation practice started now – The shortest & most time effective meditation course ever
Saturday 25th July, 2.30-5.30pm – Environmental meditation masterclass – Working consciously with the forces of nature
Coming in July – High performance bootcamp: Using mindfulness to operate at your peak without burning out
Integral Meditation Asia
Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology
Dear Integral Meditators,
Sunday 5th July, 6-7pm – 
Dear Integral Meditators,
Originally ‘Wabi-sabi’ is a type of Japanese aesthetic found in the arts and crafts, specifically in ceramic and home decoration. It works with an appreciation of the way in which impermanence, imperfection and decay affect everyday objects, and our life.
Sundays 6-6.50pm – 
Dear Integral Meditators,
Dear Integral Meditators,
Dear Integral Meditators,
Dear Integral Meditators,
Songs of Innocence and Experience – Combining your beginners mind with your wise mind