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Optimistic Stoicism

“There is a wonder in the continuous change that surrounds us. It invites us to notice that the ‘perfect happiness’ that we are seeing for may be hidden in plain sight, right amongst the present messy unfolding of our life today.”

 

Dear Integral Meditators,

This year has been full of twists and turns. This weeks article explores one approach to navigating the winding path of our lives well!

In the spirit of optimistic stoicism,

Toby

 

Optimistic Stoicism

‘Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.’ ~ Tony Schwartz

For most people lack of certainty leads to a feeling of anxiety due to uncertainty, and a state of mind that is tiring, uncomfortable and that wears us down. The sense of uncertainty makes our world smaller, less seems possible, and what is possible seems unlikely to be that good!

Stoicism as a philosophy encourages us to look at the worst-case scenario in any given situation, and accept that it may happen. It also encourages us to not hope (too much) for our problems and misfortunes to change, but to endure them with fortitude. There is a certain strength and stability that comes from being stoic, and a certain peace of mind that comes from not hoping for anything better. For example, in the long stretch of time where we’ve all been going through Covid lockdowns, it’s useful to accept that this may be a long term issue that doesn’t go away fast. This enables us to settle into the space that is created, and work with it, rather than against it.

Optimism as a philosophy contrasts to Stoicism. It invites us to think that good things can happen anytime, it can work out better than we thought it would, and that the problems we have can be stepping stones to a life currently better than we can imagine. Reflection on my life shows that it is indeed true, amazing things that I could not have envisaged have happened to me, sometimes despite my mindset!

The ‘embracing of paradox’ that Tony Schwarz refers to above is represented quite well by the contrasting philosophies of optimism and Stoicism. Both hold true in their own way, and both are worth cultivating! In conversations with coaching clients recently, I have found the session exploring how we can cultivate ‘optimistic stoicism’ to create a mindset that is ready for and can account for ‘bad sh$#t happening’ but is also bright, playful and looking for the best; we are fully open to the possibilities for the future, whilst being ready for anything! Two images that I love come to mind:

  • Firstly, the Islamic saying about trusting in Allah/God but not forgetting to tie up your camel
  • Secondly the Biblical expression from Jesus about learning to be both innocent as doves and wise as serpents

So, in mindfulness terms, we are trying to notice our relationship to uncertainty, and open to it, with the paradoxical attitude of ‘Optimistic stoicism’!

A final tip of the hat to ‘Wabi-Sabi’ mindfulness which is a philosophy I’ve appreciated for a number of years now, and that to me speaks very much to the ‘optimistic stoic’. Wabi-sabi invites us to open to the broken, the imperfect, the incomplete and the unfinished in our life with appreciation. There is a quiet beauty in decay and ageing. There is a wonder in the continuous change that surrounds us. It invites us to notice that the ‘perfect happiness’ that we are seeing for may be hidden in plain sight, right amongst the present messy unfolding of our life today.

If you enjoy this article, then do check out my workshop this Saturday on Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership

Related article: Opening to an abundance of possibility

Watch Toby’s 45 second mindfulness video on Optimistic Stoicism:

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation
The Summer Solstice (Called by the Celts ‘Alban Hefin’, or ‘the Light of Summer’) is the high point of summer in the northern hemisphere, the point of the Suns maximum power in the year, & the longest day. It is a good time to attune the life-force in the earth & creative energies within ourselves. We will be taking the time to get in touch with our own inner power, solar confidence & expressive self.

At the summer solstice, we can think about the autumn & winter periods that lie ahead of us, what our goals & expectations are, & sow the seeds on an inner level of the things that we wish to manifest over the next few months.
Full details…


Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

In a sentence: Learn how to work creatively with uncertainty, imperfection and life’s inherent messiness to realize your leadership and self-leadership potential.  Manage stress and anxiety better using mindfulness in combination with the practical philosophy of Wabi-Sabi.
Principle aspects of Wabi-Sabi include:

  • An appreciation of the beauty of the impermanent, the imperfect and incomplete
  • A recognition of the value of humility
  • A willingness to engage with the unconventional

Read full details…

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness
Overview: This is a weekend, three-session dynamic mindfulness program designed for:

  • Those looking for an engaged, practical mindfulness course designed to build resilience, effectiveness and wellness in the face of work and life challenges
  • Trainers, coaches and therapists looking to integrate mindfulness into their own professional practice with clients
  • People who have been through basic conventional mindfulness training programs and are looking for the next level of practice and performance

The essential content of the course is ten separate but interlinked mindfulness meditation practices…
Read full details

The new Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

  • Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
  • Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
  • Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner

Read full details

Watch Toby’s video on the Program:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Wednesday – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership

Meditating with your parental self

“If we are already, or have aspirations to be an outer parent, needless to say the better our relationship to inner parenting we have, the more equipped we are to be a competent outer parent”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on how to start working with the psychological sub-personality known as the ‘inner parent’. Its something that we focus on quite extensively in my Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program.

In the spirit of inner parenting,

Toby

Meditating with your parental self

Who is your parental self?
The mature adult or parental-self (for this article let’s consider them the same, although they can be distinguished) is that part of your psyche that embodies the mature ego. It is able to bear responsibilities in life, knows how to plan for the future, and to nurture and protect the lower levels of self (child and youth), ideally with a balance of firmness and love

Why is it important to get to know this part of yourself?
From the above definition we can see that our parental self is vital for living a fulfilling, healthy life. We need it to navigate problems, set goals (and stick to them), interact with others successfully, and look after other aspects of our inner psyche, principally our inner child.
If we are already or have aspirations to be an outer parent, needless to say the better our relationship to inner parenting we have, the more equipped we are to be a competent outer parent!

Two aspects or dimensions of our parental self
Like our outer parents, our inner parent has two dimensions, or aspects; the mother and father. Here is a bit more detail on them (Definitions taken from Nathaniel Branden, the Six Pillars of Self Esteem, page 265ff):
The mother-self is the component of the psyche containing an internalization of the personality, perspective, and values of an individual’s mother (or older female “mother figures” who had an influence and impact during childhood. We are dealing with the individual and historical, not the generic or universal “Mother”. (This is very different from Transactional Analysis’s generic “parent ego-state. Mother and Father are both parents, but they are very different and should not be treated as a psychological unit; they often send very different messages and have very different attitudes and values.)
The father-self is the component of the psyche containing an internalization of the personality, perspective, and values of an individual’s father (or older male “father figures” who had an influence and impact during childhood.)
Our parental selves are a psychic reality, that we are interacting with all the time, it’s just a matter of whether we are doing it consciously or unconsciously. The exercises below offer a few pointers for getting started.

Free association on your parental selves.
Bring to mind the words ‘my mother self’ or ‘my father self’ (choose one or other at a time initially). Holding it within your awareness allow your mind to start to free –associate feelings, images, memories, thoughts, desires and actions/activities with your mother or father-self. At this stage the main thing is to focus on being curious as to what sort of memories, feelings and so on arise when you contemplate the idea of your mother or father self. Whether these feelings and memories are pleasant or unpleasant is secondary, the main thing is simply to see what comes up without editing any of the content.
After a while ask yourself the question “What does my mother or father-self look like?” Allow your mind to build an image of your mother and father-self; s/he may simply be an image of yourself as a mature adult of a certain age, but equally s/he may be different from your literal, historical mature adult-self in some way; for example, s/he may resemble one of your parents or other adult role models that you have had.

Asking opinions and perspectives
Once you have a visual on both your inner parents, you can start getting to know them; their opinions, perspectives and how they function. You can start to discern which parts of them are working well and are healthy, and which parts are dysfunctional and in need of healing. Together with them you can create an inner parental self that is consistent, can be relied upon and is both firm and loving to your child self.

Related article: Meditating with your inner child

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

This masterclass teaches six complementary breathing techniques that will help you:

  • Connect to your body’s natural intelligence and capacity to move towards balance and harmony
  • Release stress and tension on progressively deeper levels
  • Combine relaxation with sustainably higher energy levels
  • Make your life and activities into a ‘flow’ state
  • Develop systematically deeper states of physical, psychological and spiritual concentration
  • Reduce over active thinking and cultivate stillness
  • Cultivate breathing patterns that are conducive to physical health and well-being

Read full details…

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation
The Summer Solstice (Called by the Celts ‘Alban Hefin’, or ‘the Light of Summer’) is the high point of summer in the northern hemisphere, the point of the Suns maximum power in the year, & the longest day. It is a good time to attune the life-force in the earth & creative energies within ourselves. We will be taking the time to get in touch with our own inner power, solar confidence & expressive self.

At the summer solstice, we can think about the autumn & winter periods that lie ahead of us, what our goals & expectations are, & sow the seeds on an inner level of the things that we wish to manifest over the next few months.
Full details…


Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

In a sentence: Learn how to work creatively with uncertainty, imperfection and life’s inherent messiness to realize your leadership and self-leadership potential.  Manage stress and anxiety better using mindfulness in combination with the practical philosophy of Wabi-Sabi.
Principle aspects of Wabi-Sabi include:

  • An appreciation of the beauty of the impermanent, the imperfect and incomplete
  • A recognition of the value of humility
  • A willingness to engage with the unconventional

Read full details…

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

10% early bird offer: Up until the 22nd June SGD$765 (Course price $850)

Overview: This is a weekend, three-session dynamic mindfulness program designed for:

  • Those looking for an engaged, practical mindfulness course designed to build resilience, effectiveness and wellness in the face of work and life challenges
  • Trainers, coaches and therapists looking to integrate mindfulness into their own professional practice with clients
  • People who have been through basic conventional mindfulness training programs and are looking for the next level of practice and performance

The essential content of the course is ten separate but interlinked mindfulness meditation practices…
Read full details

The new Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

  • Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
  • Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
  • Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner

Read full details

Watch Toby’s video on the Program:

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Wednesday – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight Inner vision Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Presence and being present spiritual intelligence The Essential Meditation of the Buddha Zen Meditation

Liberation from the seeking mind

“Stop seeking and practice arriving“

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks at meditation as a type of non-seeking through which you can find inner liberation. Its a practice that I enjoy tremendously myself!

The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists in July is now no longer on a 20% early bird offer, but you can still pick it up at a 15% early bird price.
And heads up for the  Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass on the 19th!

In the spirit of liberation, ,

Toby

Liberation from your seeking mind

Observing your seeking
If you watch the patterns of movement in your mind, you will start to notice that it is almost always seeking for something:

  • Seeking relief from boredom or loneliness
  • Seeking validation
  • Seeking pleasure
  • Seeking solutions
  • Seeking relief from insecurity
  • Seeking worth or to be complete
  • Seeking to know or find

All of these types of seeking are natural for us, and to a degree healthy, but they are also one of the primary causes of our anxiety, stress and exhaustion. If our seeking is compulsive, neurotic, or if we are never able to put it down, peace of mind and calm become very difficult.

Liberation from what?
In the great wisdom traditions, and certainly the Buddhist tradition that I was initially trained in, it is the discontented, neurotic seeking mind that we are trying to find liberation from. If we can become free from the seeking mind, and the desires associated with, then we become inwardly free. This liberation does not mean that we never have any desires ever again, but it indicates a change in the power balance. Rather than being run by our seeking and desiring, we are able to choose to engage or dis-engage our seeking mind at will. We learn how to abide in a state of non-seeking, or ‘arriving’ . In this state we experience ourself and our world as complete and fulfilled. When we rest in this state calmly and freely, we experience inner liberation.

Stopping seeking and practicing arriving
So the basic meditation practice here is to ‘stop seeking and practice arriving’. Sitting quietly, you watch your seeking mind for a short while, and then you put it down, and let it rest. You practice going no-where and seeking no-thing. You start to notice and sink deeper into the inner freedom and completeness of your non-seeking mind.

A place to sit
Inwardly as you start meditating if you like you can imagine yourself sitting in a place within nature, or in a holiday resort that you have been to and enjoy. The point about this is to get your body, mind and heart more ‘in the mood’ to stop seeking and really relax.

Returning to seeking with appetite and pleasure
If you can drop your seeking mind, then the pleasure, relaxation and ease that come from non-seeking then means that you can return to your everyday seeking and fulfilling activities with pleasure, appetite and joy. If seeking is an addiction, it becomes exhausting and dis-empowering, but if we do it volitionally and consciously it becomes a balanced complement to non-seeking.

Related Article: Just tea/solve no problem

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

This masterclass teaches six complementary breathing techniques that will help you:

  • Connect to your body’s natural intelligence and capacity to move towards balance and harmony
  • Release stress and tension on progressively deeper levels
  • Combine relaxation with sustainably higher energy levels
  • Make your life and activities into a ‘flow’ state
  • Develop systematically deeper states of physical, psychological and spiritual concentration
  • Reduce over active thinking and cultivate stillness
  • Cultivate breathing patterns that are conducive to physical health and well-being

Read full details…

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation
The Summer Solstice (Called by the Celts ‘Alban Hefin’, or ‘the Light of Summer’) is the high point of summer in the northern hemisphere, the point of the Suns maximum power in the year, & the longest day. It is a good time to attune the life-force in the earth & creative energies within ourselves. We will be taking the time to get in touch with our own inner power, solar confidence & expressive self.

At the summer solstice, we can think about the autumn & winter periods that lie ahead of us, what our goals & expectations are, & sow the seeds on an inner level of the things that we wish to manifest over the next few months.
Full details…


Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

In a sentence: Learn how to work creatively with uncertainty, imperfection and life’s inherent messiness to realize your leadership and self-leadership potential.  Manage stress and anxiety better using mindfulness in combination with the practical philosophy of Wabi-Sabi.
Principle aspects of Wabi-Sabi include:

  • An appreciation of the beauty of the impermanent, the imperfect and incomplete
  • A recognition of the value of humility
  • A willingness to engage with the unconventional

Read full details…

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

Early bird offer: Up until the 7th June SGD$680 (Course price $850)

Overview: This is a weekend, three-session dynamic mindfulness program designed for:

  • Those looking for an engaged, practical mindfulness course designed to build resilience, effectiveness and wellness in the face of work and life challenges
  • Trainers, coaches and therapists looking to integrate mindfulness into their own professional practice with clients
  • People who have been through basic conventional mindfulness training programs and are looking for the next level of practice and performance

The essential content of the course is ten separate but interlinked mindfulness meditation practices…
Read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Wednesday – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Motivation and scope Presence and being present Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

Transforming worry to wise concern

“Cultivate feelings of confidence and self-trust around your problems, and think about them from this position, rather than intimidation and rumination”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What would it take to transform your worrying to wise concern? This weeks article explores a few practical pointers!

Full details of all sessions in June are below, as well as the next The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists in July, which is on special early bird offer until 7th June!.

In the spirit of wise concern,

Toby

Transforming worry to wise concern

What would it take to transform your worrying to wise concern? Here are a few thoughts and mindful pointers

Worry – thinking about your problems without confidence
When we feel intimidated and oppressed by our problems and concerns we tend to fall into the anxious, repetitive patterns of thinking, feeling and acting that we know as worrying. It’s not particularly pleasant, and often it doesn’t help us a huge amount. Sometimes we worry because we lack confidence in ourself, but also the more we worry, often the less confident we feel about ourselves. It can be a vicious circle.

Faith in yourself, faith in life’s process
So a part of transforming your worry into wise concern is to develop confidence, faith and trust in your ability to meet your problems well, and that a solution is very possible. This is partly an attitude that you can practice that then in turn becomes a habit. We can approach this from a mental/psychological perspective, and a somatic one:

Mental/Psychological: Rumination as opposed to directed, creative thinking
When we are worried, not confident and feeling intimidated by our problems, often we ruminate. To ruminate means to think in a low quality, repetitive way about what we are going through. It leaches our energy and often takes us no closer to a solution. Wise concern seeks to think creatively and intelligently about the presenting issue, and knows when to stop thinking for now and accept that nothing more can be done for the time being.

Somatic: Your stomach; seat of power or seat of worry?
In Taoist philosophy and meditation the seat of our worrying in the body is the stomach. Our solar plexus chakra, which is in very close proximity to our stomach is our centre of power and confidence. So it can be quite interesting to explore this area of our torso, which is right in its central zone, in order to process our feelings of worry in the body, and also to see if we can mindfully impose a feeling of strength and calm in this central space.

Wise concern  – Dwelling upon your problems without feeling intimidated by them
In conclusion:

  • Notice and extend care and concern to the parts of us that worry and are worried
  • Cultivate feelings of confidence and self-trust around your problems, and think about them from this position, rather than intimidation and rumination
  • Think deliberately with wise concern about your challenges, rather than ruminating
  • Explore and cultivate a feeling of comfort, confidence and power in the stomach and solar plexus zones of the body, and notice how this changes the way in which you process your challenges and problems!

Related article: Plan more, worry less!

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

This masterclass teaches six complementary breathing techniques that will help you:

  • Connect to your body’s natural intelligence and capacity to move towards balance and harmony
  • Release stress and tension on progressively deeper levels
  • Combine relaxation with sustainably higher energy levels
  • Make your life and activities into a ‘flow’ state
  • Develop systematically deeper states of physical, psychological and spiritual concentration
  • Reduce over active thinking and cultivate stillness
  • Cultivate breathing patterns that are conducive to physical health and well-being

Read full details…

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation
The Summer Solstice (Called by the Celts ‘Alban Hefin’, or ‘the Light of Summer’) is the high point of summer in the northern hemisphere, the point of the Suns maximum power in the year, & the longest day. It is a good time to attune the life-force in the earth & creative energies within ourselves. We will be taking the time to get in touch with our own inner power, solar confidence & expressive self.

At the summer solstice, we can think about the autumn & winter periods that lie ahead of us, what our goals & expectations are, & sow the seeds on an inner level of the things that we wish to manifest over the next few months.
Full details…


Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

In a sentence: Learn how to work creatively with uncertainty, imperfection and life’s inherent messiness to realize your leadership and self-leadership potential.  Manage stress and anxiety better using mindfulness in combination with the practical philosophy of Wabi-Sabi.
Principle aspects of Wabi-Sabi include:

  • An appreciation of the beauty of the impermanent, the imperfect and incomplete
  • A recognition of the value of humility
  • A willingness to engage with the unconventional

Read full details…

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

Early bird offer: Up until the 7th June SGD$680 (Course price $850)

Overview: This is a weekend, three-session dynamic mindfulness program designed for:

  • Those looking for an engaged, practical mindfulness course designed to build resilience, effectiveness and wellness in the face of work and life challenges
  • Trainers, coaches and therapists looking to integrate mindfulness into their own professional practice with clients
  • People who have been through basic conventional mindfulness training programs and are looking for the next level of practice and performance

The essential content of the course is ten separate but interlinked mindfulness meditation practices…

Read full details

 

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Wednesday – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

 

Categories
A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Inner vision mind body connection Mindful Resilience Motivation and scope Qi gong

Smiling to your inner organs meditation recording

Dear Toby,

This week’s offering is a guided meditation recording of a technique called Smiling to your inner organs. It is a traditional Taoist/ Qi gong meditation technique where you learn to:

  • Use your meditative focus to send healthy, regenerative energy to your internal organs, in order to restore their balance and health
  • By restoring your internal organs to balance, you change your emotions and emotional energy
  • By changing your emotional energy, you change your mind, experience and the way you think!

Listen to the ‘Smiling to your inner organs meditation’

You can read my previous article on the inner smile meditation, and you can see a traditional chart of internal organ/emotion correspondences in the chart below from Mantak Chia’s website.

In the spirit of inner balance,

Toby

Article & recording © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com
Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Biographical creative imagery Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Creating your own “Circle of the wise”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on a creative meditation that I’ve done in various forms for many years.
Next weeks Tuesday & Wednesday sessions are Wesak Full Moon Meditations, which contain a variant of this meditation in it.

In the spirit of the wise,

Toby

 

 

 

Creating your own “Circle of the wise”

What would it be like to sit in the company of the wise, the deeply creative, and deeply awake? What if you imagined vividly that you were in just such company, and imagined yourself talking with them, listening and enjoying silence with them? The meditation that I describe below is one that I have done many times in my life in a variety of forms, according to purpose, in order to gain insight, solace and support for different stages and different projects that I have taken up.

Stage 1: Select your domain
Firstly, you need to think about the purpose of the group that you are working with. Is it to help you go deeper in your meditation? Help you get better at a particular discipline? Help you with a particularly stressful part of your life? Help you with your creative writing? Select your purpose. For the purposes of this example let’s say it’s to help me with my creative writing.

Stage 2: Set your intention, let them come
Sit down in meditation, and set your intention to meet your ‘circle of the wise’ around the particular domain you are focused on. In this example I am intending to connect with writers whom I admire, from any era, who may be able to help me. With this intention I then sit and relax. I might begin to see myself in a particular place, with perhaps a circle of seats. I take one of these seats, and then wait to be joined. Some of the people/beings who come might be those I intend to be a part of the circle; others may come unexpectedly. There may even be some that I don’t even know exactly who they are, they may not be famous or previously known to me.

Stage 3: Communion and communication
Once they have assembled, you can them bring to the table any questions that you might have, or subjects for discussion and feedback. You can initiate as much conversation as you like, or you can simply enter into a more intuitive, non-verbal communion with your circle, receiving support from them in this way, and simply absorbing the atmosphere of their presence. When you wish to conclude, you simply thank them for their presence, see them fading from your inner vision and return to your everyday consciousness.

You can stay with a particular group for the duration of a particular project (members may come and go somewhat during this time!) or you can simply have a more general ‘circle of the wise’ that you connect to regularly in meditation that is of a more semi-permanent nature. This exercise might seem a bit abstract just reading about it, but it really takes on a totally different dimension and living vibrancy when you actually do it!

Tuesday 25th & Weds 26th May – Wesak Full Moon Meditation

Toby will be leading a meditation to help you to:

  • Find a place of coolness, peace and stability amidst the turbulence of your own life
  • Connect to the inner creative and evolutionary energies that you sense emerging within yourself at this time, giving them name and direction in your life
  • A chance to connect with the spirit of the Buddha and your own inner world guidance
  • Practice inner world journeying for the purposes of healing, knowledge and renewal. This journey is undertaken both for yourself and or your circle of influence.

Read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Wednesday – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Tuesday 25th & Weds 26th May – Wesak Full Moon Meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Taking the weight off your chest (Transforming sadness)

“Running from difficult emotions is a way of coping with them, turning and facing them is a way of learning to thrive off them”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks Tuesday & Wednesday evening classes will be on transforming sadness and connecting to courage, which is the subject of the article below.

The article also touches on some of the principles of Taoist qi gong meditation, which I’ll be exploring on some depth on the 15th of May in my Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Finally, if your interested in meditation and sound technology, my favorite brain entrainment meditation track of all time is Digital Acupuncture is on 20% special offer for the next couple of days. Check it out if your interested, you can read a bit more about the principles on me ‘meditation technology page‘.

In the spirit of the courage to transforming sadness,Toby

 

Taking the weight off your chest (Transforming sadness)

Effecting transformation
In order to transform our difficult emotions, we need to be able to turn and face them. Our instinctive response to them is often the opposite; to run and hide from them, repress the, deny them or avoid them. Running and hiding from emotions we can’t face is a coping mechanism, turning and facing them is a way of learning to thrive off them. In this article I’m going to talk about this in terms of sadness and grief as an example.

The physical location of sadness and grief
We often talk about sadness as ‘heaviness of heart’, and it’s certainly true we feel often feel it as a heaviness in the chest. In the Taoist tradition the emotions of sadness and grief are said to sit in the lungs, which is also true from all of our experience in the sense that, when we feel sad, we ‘sigh’, which is a particular way of breathing that holds the sadness. The chest area in general then holds a lot of our sadness physically.

Acknowledging and feeling the weight
In order to start working with your own sadness, just bring to mind the words ‘my sadness’ and or ‘my grief’. Just let yourself free associate around these words. Allow your mind to bring up memories and subjects of sadness for you, and notice your bodily response to the sadness. In particular focus on the weight of the feeling in your lungs and chest area. As you breathe in allow yourself to feel the sadness, as you breathe out relax into the sensation of it, gently allowing it to be there.

Releasing the sadness
As you breathe in extend care and understanding to your lungs, and to the sadness there. As you breathe out smile to the sadness, inviting it to gradually brighten and be released (you can combine this section with the inner smile meditation in my previous article). Without being in a hurry, allow the energy of the emotions embedded in your lungs and chest area to start to change and transform.

Opening to joy and courage
Once you have effected a sense of release in your lungs and chest, you can begin to invite the positive emotions associated with these areas; joy and courage, to fill up the space. The energy that was previously locked in the patterns of sadness and grief can be re-calibrated into these positive emotions and qualities. Smile, relax and feel joy and courage filling your lungs as you inhale. Feel your whole chest area becoming strong and resilient, both physically and emotionally healthy.

So, there is the basic pattern. Of course, I’m describing a process that will take more than just one session to effect deep change. You also need courage to persist and consistently turn and face the layers of sadness that come up when you start to release years’ worth of it! With skillful and wise consistency, you can deeply change the energetic dynamic of your chest and lung area, and the inner emotional landscape that goes with it.

Related article/recording: Smiling to the inner organs meditation 

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

20% Special offer Until May 12th – DIGITAL ACUPUNCTURE
Qi-Encoded Nature Sounds for Healing, Renewal, and Releasing Stress

Digital Acupuncture (formerly called Audio Acupuncture), a part of iAwake’s Energy Alchemy Series, contains soundtracks embedded with a unique energetic signature of the human acupuncture meridian map which optimizes the healthy flow of qi through all the acupuncture meridians.
See full details

Saturday 15th May – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing Masterclass & Mini-retreatQi-gong is the science of working with the body’s energy field. Literally translated into English it means ‘energy work’, or ‘energy skill’.  In this workshop Toby will be teaching the art of moving subtle energy and life force into and around our body using a series of simple and easy to apply techniques that will enable you to:

  • Re-establish your body’s natural bio-rhythms
  • Strengthen your immune system
  • Balance the energy in your body and mind, leading to inner peace and wellbeing

Read full details here

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Wednesday – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Saturday 15th May – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Tuesday 25th & Weds 26th May – Wesak Full Moon Meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Concentration creative imagery Energy Meditation Inner vision Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Presence and being present

Smiling meditation & your psychosomatic health

“The essential skill we are developing with the smiling meditation is to generate positive mental and emotional energy, then direct it into the physical body for the purposes of emotional and physical healing”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores one of a main technique for physical and emotional healing; the smiling meditation. The article also touches on some of the principles of Qi gong.

In the spirit of  emotional and physical health,
Toby

 

Smiling meditation & your psychosomatic health

We all have a sense that on some level our mental and emotional health affect our physical health. The aim of the ‘smiling’ meditation I describe below is to focus positive emotional and psychological energy into the body, and particular areas of the body, and using it to affect your bodily health. It has its precedent in the Buddhist and Qi gong mediation traditions. But its principles are easily understood, and it can be practiced successfully by someone from any background or beliefs. It has four essential stages

  1. Selecting the area/s of the body that you want to work with
  2. Visualizing a ‘memory ball’, and creating the smiling energy
  3. Directing the smiling energy into the body
  4. Creating an energy exchange between the body and the self

If you practice this meditation with some regularity, then you will develop confidence in its effectiveness quite quickly. Here is a brief breakdown of the stages:

Selecting the area/s of the body that you want to work with 
You can choose to work with the body as a whole, or with a particular part of the body. For example, if you notice that you have been feeling ‘heavy of heart’ emotionally, or if you have an actual physical hearth condition, then you might choose to work on the heart. I’ll work below with the heart as an example.

Visualizing a ‘memory ball’, and creating the smiling energy
After settling into meditation, imagine a ball of light in front of your face, at about the height of your eyebrows. Within that ball, visualize good memories, joyful experiences, or places and landscapes that put you in touch with a strong (or as strong as you are capable) sense of happiness and wellbeing. Fill the ball with these energies until you can feel that it is full of smiling, joyful energy, enough to make you want to gently smile on a physical level.

Directing the smiling energy into the body
Now imagine a stream of light coming from the memory ball into your body through the mid-point between your eyebrows, and gathering in the mid-brain. Then feel it flowing (in this case) down into your physical heart, filling it with the smiling energy. As you breathe, just keep the smiling energy gently flowing into the heart. Notice what it is like to consistently extend the smiling energy and awareness to your heart. You may notice certain imbalanced energies and emotions gradually being released from the heart, until after a while you can feel the heart ‘smiling back to you’ as you send the smiling energy to it.

Creating an energy exchange between the body and the self
Once you can feel the exchange between yourself and your heart, just stay with that, gently amplifying the sensation of it in the physical space of your heart. When you are ready you can bring the meditation to a close.

So, that’s the basic technique. The essential skill we are developing with the smiling meditation is to generate positive mental and emotional energy and then direct it into the physical body for the purposes of emotional and physical healing. By practicing this technique, we can learn to reprogram the cellular structure and memory or our body to hold energy that is conducive to health and well-being, rather than dis-ease or discomfort.

Related article/recording: Smiling to the inner organs meditation 

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

In case you missed last weeks article: Meditating on your child-self

The child self is one of a number of inner aspects of ourself that, if we meditate upon, we find ourselves connecting to in an experiential and enriching way. Other examples of this type of inner self, or sub-personality include the female self (if you are a male), the male self (if you are a woman), and the wise self, to name but a few.
Our inner child is important because in health it connects us to our creativity, our emotional health and spontaneity, our playfulness and vitality (remember how much energy you had as a child?!) Below I point out a few definitions and ways of beginning to relate to your inner child….
Read full article

Starts Tues/Wednesday 4th/5th May – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week courseOverview:  This is a meditation series designed to give you the practical skills to:

  1. Heal and regenerate the energy of your physical body and internal organs
  2. Revitalise and transform your emotional vitality
  3. Work with the landscape of  your local  environment to effect a healing of the land

Read full details…

Saturday 8th May, 2-5pm – Mindful Parenting – Practical Techniques for Bringing Awareness, Appreciation and Enjoyment to the Experience of ParentingIn a sentence: Learn how you can enjoy your experience of parenting more, manage emotions more effectively, and become a better parent by using mindful awareness

  • Are you a stressed out parent (or stressed about becoming one) and looking for ways to manage that stress more effectively?
  • Would you like to improve your capacity to parent in a way that creates an improved experience of the parent-child relationship both for you and your kids?
  • Would you like to be able to demonstrate calm and being present to your children in a way that will help them to become more calm and present themselves?

Read full details…

Saturday 15th May – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing Masterclass & Mini-retreatQi-gong is the science of working with the body’s energy field. Literally translated into English it means ‘energy work’, or ‘energy skill’.  In this workshop Toby will be teaching the art of moving subtle energy and life force into and around our body using a series of simple and easy to apply techniques that will enable you to:

  • Re-establish your body’s natural bio-rhythms
  • Strengthen your immune system
  • Balance the energy in your body and mind, leading to inner peace and wellbeing

Read full details here

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tues/Wednesday 4th/5th May – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Saturday 8th May, 2-5pm – Mindful Parenting – Practical Techniques for Bringing Awareness, Appreciation and Enjoyment to the Experience of Parenting

Saturday 15th May – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Tuesday 25th & Weds 26th May – Wesak Full Moon Meditation

Integral Meditation Asia1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology
Categories
creative imagery Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mindful dreaming Presence and being present

Meditating with your child-self

“Our inner child is important because it connects us to our creativity, our emotional health and spontaneity, our playfulness and vitality. Do you remember how much energy you had as a child!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

If you enjoy this weeks article and are a parent, then do check out my  Mindful Parenting – Practical Techniques for Bringing Awareness, Appreciation and Enjoyment to the Experience of Parenting coming up on Saturday 8th May.
An entirely new series of meditation sessions next week, Tues/Wednesday 4th/5th May –Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course
Details of all that’s on in May below the article!

In the spirit of our playful child,

Toby

 

Meditating on your child-self

The child self is one of a number of inner aspects of ourself that, if we meditate upon, we find ourselves connecting to in an experiential and enriching way. Other examples of this type of inner self, or sub-personality include the female self (if you are a male), the male self (if you are a woman), and the wise self, to name but a few.
Our inner child is important because in health it connects us to our creativity, our emotional health and spontaneity, our playfulness and vitality (remember how much energy you had as a child?!) Below I point out a few definitions and ways of beginning to relate to your inner child.

Definitions of your child self:
The child self is that part of us that is child-like in nature. You could say it has three aspects:

  • That part of us that is simply child like in nature; playful, naive, creative, innocent, gullible, needs looking after and so on
  • The historical child, that is the child within us whose character has been shaped and informed by our own literal historical upbringing; experience with parents, peers and other significant others, what happened to us in school, how we were treated and learned to gain approval and so on. The child within us now that is a product of our personal historical experience, and our response to that
  • The spiritual child within us – that part of us that is ever young, ever new, ever creative, ever both innocent and wise, whose light helps us begin again each time we burn out.

A psychological definition:
“The child-self is the component of the psyche containing the “personality” of the child one once was, with that child’s range of values, emotions, needs and responses; not a generic child or universal archetype, but a specific, historical child, unique to an individual’s history and development.” – Nathaniel Branden, definition taken from the Six Pillars of Self Esteem, page 265ff.
Notable Quote: “I have never worked with a depressed personality whose child self did not feel hated (not merely ignored or rejected) by an older part.” – Nat Branden

Meditation pointers for the child-self:

Free association: Bring to mind the words ‘my child-self’. Holding it within your awareness allow your mind to start to free –associate feelings, images, memories, thoughts and desires around your child-self. At this stage the main thing is to focus on being curious as to what sort of memories, feelings and so on arise when you contemplate the idea of your child self; whether these feelings and memories are pleasant or unpleasant is secondary, the main thing is simply to see what comes up without editing any of the content.
Connecting to your child-self: Imagine yourself in a place that you knew and loved as a child. As you sit or stand in that place, imagine your child self comes to meet you there. Spend time with your child, talking, connecting and building trust. Starting questions for the interaction might include:

  • What do you need from me to help feel happy and secure?
  • Is there anything that you want to say to me or offer me at this time?
  • What do you think about this (choose your domain) aspect of our life?
  • How can we find more time for play in our life together?

Like outer children, your inner child needs parenting with an appropriate about of firmness and love. By connecting to your inner-child you can also become a better parental self, both toward your inner-child, and toward outer children!

Related article: Your shadow child

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Starts Tues/Wednesday 4th/5th May – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week courseOverview:  This is a meditation series designed to give you the practical skills to:

  1. Heal and regenerate the energy of your physical body and internal organs
  2. Revitalise and transform your emotional vitality
  3. Work with the landscape of  your local  environment to effect a healing of the land

Read full details…

Saturday 8th May, 2-5pm – Mindful Parenting – Practical Techniques for Bringing Awareness, Appreciation and Enjoyment to the Experience of ParentingIn a sentence: Learn how you can enjoy your experience of parenting more, manage emotions more effectively, and become a better parent by using mindful awareness

  • Are you a stressed out parent (or stressed about becoming one) and looking for ways to manage that stress more effectively?
  • Would you like to improve your capacity to parent in a way that creates an improved experience of the parent-child relationship both for you and your kids?
  • Would you like to be able to demonstrate calm and being present to your children in a way that will help them to become more calm and present themselves?

Read full details…

Saturday 15th May – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing Masterclass & Mini-retreatQi-gong is the science of working with the body’s energy field. Literally translated into English it means ‘energy work’, or ‘energy skill’.  In this workshop Toby will be teaching the art of moving subtle energy and life force into and around our body using a series of simple and easy to apply techniques that will enable you to:

  • Re-establish your body’s natural bio-rhythms
  • Strengthen your immune system
  • Balance the energy in your body and mind, leading to inner peace and wellbeing

Read full details here

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tues/Wednesday 4th/5th May – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Saturday 8th May, 2-5pm – Mindful Parenting – Practical Techniques for Bringing Awareness, Appreciation and Enjoyment to the Experience of Parenting

Saturday 15th May – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Tuesday 25th & Weds 26th May – Wesak Full Moon Meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease creative imagery Inner vision Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

A wheel spinning  out of balance

“In order to find consistent balance we have to work consciously to adjust to changeability and imperfection. We have to be ready and expect life’s wobbles and curve balls!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What does it mean to have a conscious and balanced approach to life’s imperfections and messiness, and how can we implement this approach effectively? this is the subject that I explore in the article below.

In the spirit of balance,

Toby

A wheel spinning  out of balance

Life is pain?
The first noble truth of the Buddha when he started teaching was what he called the “Truth of dukha”. Dukha is a Sanskrit word that is most often translated as ‘suffering’.  So then it looks like his observation is that life is fundamentally the experience of suffering, or pain

Dukha – A wheel spinning our of balance
If we look a little deeper, the Sanskrit word ‘dukha’ actually doesn’t have a direct english translation, but a closer translation would be something akin to “a wheel spinning out of balance”. So Buddha basically said “Life is like a wheel spinning out of balance”. What this means (in my opinion) is that he is observing that life is almost continuously uncomfortable, out of balance, inconvenient, uncertain. In order to find balance we have to work quite hard to be making adjustments to these imperfections. We have to be ready and expect life’s wobbles and curve balls!

Riding a wobbly bicycle
One image I use to meditate on Dukha is I imagine I am riding a bicycle with a buckled back wheel. As I ride, I bounce and lurch up and down, and from side to side as the wheel rotates. I have to be ready for the un-predictable movements, making adjustments to stay upright. I have to be mindful and alert to ride this bike of life, otherwise I’m going to fall off!

Accepting dukha, moving forward creatively
In terms of mindfulness, much of working with Dukha is acceptance; simply accepting the messy and intractable nature of life as it is. If we aren’t able to do this, then we do spend a lot of time suffering as a result of our inability to accommodate for life’s natural wobbly-ness! (See recent article on ‘Resilience thru acceptance – matching your expectation with your reality‘)
The second mindful skill we are trying to develop on the basis of acceptance is acting creatively to

  • Adapt to the wobbling movement
  • Act decisively to move in the direction we want to go, sculpting and molding the presenting circumstances into something worthwhile

Jumping from wheel to wheel
More recently I’ve been working with an image for this second, ‘creative action’ part of Dukha. I imagine a series of spinning wheels in the sky. I am having to jump from one to the other, ascending to higher and higher levels, like a dance. I am having to use my wit and dexterity to keep moving forwards and upwards, and avoid falling off!

If you like in your own meditation and contemplation, you can use these two images , of wobbly bicycling and jumping across the sky-wheels as a way of working with the dukha in our own life. Here’s to dancing with our messy, wobbly realities!

Related article: Baseballs or confetti?

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 8th May, 2-5pm – Mindful Parenting – Practical Techniques for Bringing Awareness, Appreciation and Enjoyment to the Experience of ParentingIn a sentence: Learn how you can enjoy your experience of parenting more, manage emotions more effectively, and become a better parent by using mindful awareness

  • Are you a stressed out parent (or stressed about becoming one) and looking for ways to manage that stress more effectively?
  • Would you like to improve your capacity to parent in a way that creates an improved experience of the parent-child relationship both for you and your kids?
  • Would you like to be able to demonstrate calm and being present to your children in a way that will help them to become more calm and present themselves?

Read full details…

Saturday 15th May – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing Masterclass & Mini-retreatQi-gong is the science of working with the body’s energy field. Literally translated into English it means ‘energy work’, or ‘energy skill’.  In this workshop Toby will be teaching the art of moving subtle energy and life force into and around our body using a series of simple and easy to apply techniques that will enable you to:

  • Re-establish your body’s natural bio-rhythms
  • Strengthen your immune system
  • Balance the energy in your body and mind, leading to inner peace and wellbeing

Read full details here

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 8th May, 2-5pm – Mindful Parenting – Practical Techniques for Bringing Awareness, Appreciation and Enjoyment to the Experience of Parenting

Saturday 15th May – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology