Strong back, soft front

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“By practicing a physically ‘strong back, soft front’ posture, we can get a feeling of what it is like to be inwardly strong and at the same time gentle on a psychological level.”

Dear Toby,

This weeks article looks considers how physical posture can invite psychological change, and how you can cultivate real inner strength.
Final meditation for the year is the Winter solstice meditation this Tuesday and Wednesday evening. All are invited!

In the spirit of  strength and gentleness,

Toby


Strong back, soft front

Traditional meditation posture involves sitting up straight, with an unsupported back. The head and neck are above the chest and shoulders, chest above the belly, belly sitting above the hips, like a stack of bricks. One reason for this is that meditation is about alertness as much as relaxation. If you lean against something, it may be relaxing, but the danger of your alertness dipping increases. So we can sit upright to cultivate this balance of relaxation and alertness upon which all effective meditation and mindfulness relies.

Soft front, strong back
As you are sitting up straight with a strong back, you can also deliberately soften the front of your body, the chest, belly and face. So you have a soft front, backed up by a strong backbone. This can be a physical posture that reminds us of how to be in life; we can present a gentle, restrained face to the world, because we know we are strong inside. Because we are inwardly strong, we are confident enough to be gentle outside (unless it is appropriate not to be so for a specific reason).

Armoring the front to hide a weak back
Often in life our position is the opposite of strong back, soft front. We feel afraid and insecure on the inside (weak back), and so to compensate we present a strong, armored, even aggressive front to the world to compensate. This affects our sense of who we are, and how other people experience us. By practicing the ‘strong back, soft front’ posture, we can get a bodily feeling of what it is like to be inwardly strong and at the same time gentle on a psychological level.

Practicum
Spend a little time each day sitting with a strong back and soft front. Let your body learn to recognize what this feels like. As you go about your daily activities, experiment with what it is like to feel strong inside and so gentle on the outside. Try talking and acting from this place in your relationships and in the way that you interact with the world. Notice how this changes how you participate in your life, and the opportunities for creative change it opens for you.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.


Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Tuesday and Wednesday 17,18 December – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Understanding the ergonomics of acceptance

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“How much more ’emotionally ergonomic’ could you be if you didn’t give your negative emotions the resistance that they need to become stronger?”
Y

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks a bit closer at what mindful acceptance looks like, how it helps, and how you can start practicing.

Reminder of the Full moon energy and manifestation meditation on the evenings of Tues 10th & Weds 11th December. On Saturday 14th there is ‘The Mindful Heart Meditation Workshop’.

In the spirit of acceptance,

Toby


Understanding the ergonomics of mindful acceptance

When you are building muscle in the gym, you do so by giving the muscle resistance to work against, so it becomes stronger.
The same holds true on a psychological level; when you resist an emotion or situation that is present for you, you are providing ‘resistance’ for it to grow stronger.
So, when you have a difficult emotion or circumstance, counter-intuitively often the best thing to do once you become aware of it is to practice acceptance, aka non-resistance to it. When you practice acceptance skill fully, you deny the emotion the ´resistance’ that it needs to build strength. Consequently, the amount of energy you need to deal with it effectively is much reduced. The energy that you save then becomes available to focus on doing things that are actually going to help.

Example: Working with combined physical & logistical challenges
Recently I had go to hospital to repeat a small hernia operation. The next day was quite challenging, as I still had to do some work, and it was really quite painful to move around. As I was trying to catch up on my work and communications, my computer decided to stop working. This meant that, in addition to the physical discomfort, my work was doubly disrupted.
The next day I had to travel to the repair centre. Upon arrival I was told that they couldn’t fix it for a price less than the computer itself, and that it would take 4-8 weeks! So I then had to walk and travel some more to get a new computer. Basically the whole afternoon when I could have been resting up was taken hobbling around town obtaining a functional piece of hardware to work from!
It was a long day, and I could go on about other things that went wrong as well. At each stage I could feel my mind and emotions rising up to resist the reality of what is going on:

  • “I can’t believe it chose this time of all times to break, cant my computer see I just had an operation!”
  • “What, how can the repair cost as much as the original??”
  • “Why can’t I just catch a break!”

So, at each stage I had to consciously notice the emotional resistance, and gently encourage myself into a space of acceptance of the circumstances. From there I could look at what was in front of me, and act in the way that is most effective and took the least energy.
By practicing acceptance and non-resistance, by the end of the day I was resting up on my couch, with my new computer, and all that needed to be done had been done. Acceptance made it much less stressful and much more ergonomic than it would have been if I had been fighting my misfortune all the way through the afternoon.

In your own life:
What are the circumstances and experiences that you tend to resist? What emotions do you tend to repress or deny? What would happen if you were to practice conscious non-resistance and acceptance with them? How much more ’emotionally ergonomic’ could you be if you didn’t give your negative emotions the resistance that they need to become stronger?

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.


Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Tues  10th & Weds 11th December – Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday 14th & 15th December, 2-5.30pm – The Mindful Heart Meditation Workshop

Tuesday and Wednesday 17,18 December – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Allowing & Participating – Rethinking ‘being in control’

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“By mindfully combining allowing and participating we can control things better, without feeling the need to be so ‘in control”
Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article offers a couple of practical thoughts on how to re-frame our idea of being in control in a way that means less stress and more effectiveness. This weeks Wednesday meditation class will be focusing on how to work with these ideas!

The classes and workshop schedule for December is out. There will be a Full moon energy and manifestation meditation on the evening of 10th December. On Saturday 14th there is ‘The Mindful Heart Meditation Workshop’, and on the 17th Dec the Winter solstice balancing and renewing meditation.

In the spirit of participation,

Toby


Allowing & Participating – Rethinking ‘being in control’

I’ve recently been experiencing a time in my life where there are so many factors undergoing change that inevitably anxiety coe come up. When change occurs, especially deep and radical change, the part of us that wants to feel ´in control’ inevitably feels stressed because the situation feels ´out of control’.
I did a session with a client about the same topic. She was fighting with a similar feeling of trying to be ‘in control’ whilst feeling so many factors ‘out of control’. One of the ways in which we reframed our situation was to use the polarity of ‘accepting and participating’ rather than ‘in control or out of control’.
In control and out of control is a win-lose game; to control is to win, to be out of control is to loose. With allowing and participating:

  • We allow things to be uncertain, unfixed, to an extent beyond our control. By accepting we relax more comfortably into the situation we find ourself without unnecessary struggle
  • By participating, we look for ways to dance with and influence the situation in creative and constructive ways. Without trying to fix everything at once, we enjoy engaging and participating with our life each day through action that is as intelligent and playful as we are able.

When we practice allowing and participating, we can create a win-win experience: We can relax with things we can’t totally control, while staying active and engaged.
By mindfully combining allowing and participating we can control things better, without feeling the need to be so ‘in control’.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.


Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Tues  10th & Weds 11th December – Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday 14th & 15th December, 2-5.30pm – The Mindful Heart Meditation Workshop

Tuesday and Wednesday 17,18 December – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

 


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Sinking your centre of gravity

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“If you observe your body during the day, you may notice is that, if there are a number of things that trigger your stress levels in succession, then your centre of gravity rises higher. If you consciously lower your centre of gravity, this can help build greater resilience to that stress.”
U
Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores somatic awareness and how it can help you deal better with stress.  Enjoy!

In the spirit of  balance,

Toby

 

 

 

 


Bringing your centre of gravity down

If you observe your body during the day, you may notice is that, if there are a number of things that trigger your stress levels in succession, then your centre of gravity rises higher.
For example, if during breakfast you are reminded of a project at work that is stuck, that thought causes your centre to rise a bit from your lower belly up into your stomach.
Then your partner reminds you that you haven’t started to organise for the party on the weekend, so your centre rises up into your chest. This is accompanied by shallower breathing, from the mid and upper lungs, you are no longer using the lower lung.
Then you go to work and 3-4 people are trying to get your attention. You can’t settle into a task, and even more stress is triggered. By now your stress levels are forcing your energy into your upper chest and shoulders. Your shoulders rise towards your ears, you are breathing from the top of your lungs, and your getting brain cramp behind your eyes as you try and ‘think’ your way out of all the uncomfortable feelings you are having!

Sinking your centre of gravity
One simple way to reduce your stress level then is to simply notice when your centre of gravity rises in your body, and spend a few moments bringing it down. here is one simple method that you can use:

  • Notice the height of your centre of gravity in your torso. For example, it may be in your upper chest or clavicles. Place your hand/palm on that level, and breathe, being aware of it.
  • Then place your hand mid-way between your current centre of gravity, and your lower belly area. As you breathe the next few breaths, ‘sink’ your centre of gravity down to this level, taking slightly deeper breaths than usual.
  •  Now place your hand over your lower belly area, just beneath the belly button. Over the next few breaths sink your centre of gravity down from your mid-level down into the belly. This makes your centre of gravity low, with your upper body relaxed. Feel your torso becoming ‘broad’ at the base (hips and belly) and ’narrow’ at the top (head and shoulders), like a mountain or pyramid.

Keeping your centre of gravity low in your body like this helps to release stress as it arises, and decompress stress that has been building up over time. Try doing the exercise three times a day, for just a minute each time, and observe the effect that it has on you.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.


Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday November 16th, 11.30am-1pm – Get your meditation pratice started now – The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday November 23rd, 10am-1pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Tues  10th & Weds 11th December –  Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

 


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Finding ledges on the steep climb

W
“During the day I practice ‘returning to a ledge’ several times, creating a safe, appreciative space where I can look after myself and also feel that the steep climb of my life is do-able, and that it is all worth it!”
S
Dear Toby,This weeks article describes an image that I have been using for a while to enjoy and appreciate my life, even when it feels like ‘the pressure is on’! I sometimes offer it as a pratice to my coaching clients when they are going through times of stress. I hope you enjoy it.This weekend has the beginners meditation workshop on Saturday morning for those interested.

In the spirit of ledges,

Toby

 

 


Finding ledges on the steep climb

I sometimes think about my life as a climb up a cliff face. Particularly when times are stressful, seemingly relentless and demanding I imagine myself climbing a steep cliff, with the destination a long way above and out of site. For most of the climb it is simply about looking around and reaching up for the next hand of foot hold, one after the next. Without a break, this would seem intimidating, so I imagine that on this climb there are small ledges that are just big enough for me to climb on and sit down. Here I can relax, regenerate and take temporary refuge. In my minds eye during the day I imagine I have reached one of these ledges. I sit and:

  • Look down of the most recent part of my climb and appreciate myself for having made the progress.
  • I imagine there is a light breeze and perhaps some sunlight. I look at the view of the landscape I have around me
  • Perhaps there are one or two rock flowers on the ledge, that help me to connect to the beauty in my life, and to know that my life is good, even amidst the pressure.
  • I breathe and take in the fresh air, I allow myself to pause and feel safe for this moment in my journey
  • I gather my strength and heart, and when I am ready I turn around and set of up the next section of my climb, renewed and more clear headed

During the day I practice ‘returning to a ledge’ several times, creating a safe, appreciative space where I can look after myself and also feel that the steep climb of my life is do-able, and that it is all worth it!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.


Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday November 16th, 11.30am-1pm – Get your meditation pratice started now – The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday November 23rd, 10am-1pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

Starts Sunday November 3rd – A six week mindfulness course for adults with ADHD

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

 


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Key Practices for building mindful resilience

W
“Mindful resilience is the capacity to remain actively aware, creatively productive, constantly learning, happy and effective in life and at work, even when faced with pressure, stress, and tension from both within our mind and from our external environment.”
W

Dear Integral MeditatorsThis weeks article is one that I’ve published in conjunction with The Core Colective, it looks at areas of mindfulness that relate specifically to developing resilience.

Wishing you strength of body, mind and heart,

Toby

 

 

 

 

 


Faced with pressure, stress and tension? Try these ky practices to develop mindful resilience

Mindful resilience is the capacity to remain actively aware, creatively productive, constantly learning, happy and effective in life and at work, even when faced with pressure, stress, and tension from both within our mind and from our external environment.

If you’ve gone on meditation and mindfulness retreats yourself, you’ll know the wonderful feeling of being inspired to take the mindfulness back to the real world. Fast forward to the moment you touch down at home, back to your usual routine, and you find the state of mind you attained on your retreat, hijacked from you.

Sustaining mindfulness isn’t challenging for you alone. This chalenge inspired Toby to come up with a well-rounded and resilient mindfulness training to enable people to develop mindful resilience as a way of life through mindfulness and meditation practices.

Below is a list of what Toby believes, from practical experiences, are key practices to developing mindful resilience: Read full article

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.


Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday November 16th, 11.30am-1pm – Get your meditation pratice started now – The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday November 23rd, 10am-1pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

Starts Sunday November 3rd – A six week mindfulness course for adults with ADHD

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Wednesday 6th November – Toby is a speaker at Naked Nights Presents: Religion In Our Modern World – The balance of tradition and modernity


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Mindfully working with your physical heart

W
“The principle healing agent with mindfulness is always conscious awareness itself. But there are other emotional and mental healing agents that naturally start to flow in as a result of the primary act of conscious attention.”
a

Dear Integral Meditators,This weeks article focuses on the physical heart as your object of mindful attention. Enjoy!

In the spirit of heart,

Toby


Meditating with your physical heart

Mindfulness and meditation have a capacity to help the health of your physical heart, and other parts of your body. These are complementary to other strategies that we have around diet, exercise, medication and so forth. The principle healing agent with mindfulness is always conscious awareness itself. But there are other emotional and mental healing agents that naturally start to flow in as a result of the primary act of conscious attention. With this in mind here are some simple ways to get started. They can be practiced together as a sequence, or individually, as you prefer:

  1. Becoming aware of the physical heat and heartbeat: Here you simply focus your attention in the area of the chest where your physical heart is located, and sense onto it, seeing what you notice. After a while you will have a sense of your heart as an object on your chest, and you will feel the heart-beat. You can also place your hand over the chest over your heart, and use that to sense the heart-beat. Just commune with your heart gently through mindful attention.
  2. Breathing with the flow of blood: With this practice, focus on your heart and heartbeat. Sense the network of arteries and veins thru-out your body. Sense the flow of blood thru your entire body. As you breathe out, be aware of the blood flowing out into your body through your arteries. As you breathe in be aware of the blood flowing back to your heart through the veins. Relax into this process for as long as you wish.
  3. Working with the emotional qualities of the physical heart: As you focus on your physical heart, be aware of any emotions present within the heart. As you breathe in soften and open your heart, allowing yourself to feel them, as you breathe out relax into the emotions present, letting them be released or enjoyed, as feels appropriate to you.
  4. Working with ‘heart qualities’: as a variation on exercise 3, you can select particular ‘heart qualities’ that you want to bring into your heart, for example care, courage, love or compassion. As you breathe in feel the energy of the emotional quality gathering and building in your physical heart, as you breathe out feel it spreading out from your heart into the rest of your body. Build a strong sense of the presence of that emotion in your heart, and feel it gently pumping and flowing our into the rest of your body. Feel a strong connection between your physical body and the energy of this emotion.

When you do these, perhaps it will be the first time that you have ever spent so much time paying attention directly to your physical heart. It can be a very powerful experience, and the beginning of a long, healthy and fulfilling collaboration between you and your physical heart!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.


Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Starts Sunday November 3rd – A six week mindfulness course for adults with ADHD

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Taking the big picture view

W
“One big source of stress and dis-ease in our life is that we often get caught in the small picture, the details of what we are doing or participating in. We lose our sense of the big picture, and the objectivity and balance that it gives us”
 W

Dear Integral Meditators,

One ‘mindful position’ that delivers a lot of value to almost all my coaching clients is practising the discipline of holding what I call the ‘big picture view’. This weeks article has a look at what this means, and how to start!

 In the spirit of the big picture,

Toby

 

 


Upcoming classes and courses:

This weeks Wednesday evening classes will be focused on how to rest at ease in meditation and in life by overcoming our Top-dog/Underdog complex. Its a lot of fun to do, and it opens up a whole new world of loving self and loving others!

Also, I just wanted to give the heads up for two new courses starting at the beginning of November, both unique!:
Starts Sunday November 3rd – A six week mindfulness course for adults with ADHD
Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood


Taking the big picture view

One ‘mindful position’ that delivers a lot of value to almost all my coaching clients is practising the discipline of holding what I call the ‘big picture view’. One big source of stress and dis-ease in our life is that we often get caught in the small picture, the details of what we are doing or participating in. As a result, we lose our sense of the big picture, and the relative objectivity and balance that comes from this position. The following exercise is a visual and imaginative form that we can use to reconnect to the big picture, and release our often-compulsive obsession with the details.

Step 1: Imagine your current fixation with the ‘small picture’ is like being caught up in the swirl of a busy city, with people milling all around you, all sorts of noise and activity pulling you her and there. Its difficult to stay in balance! Now imagine a place that you know, for example at the top of a hill or mountain, where when you are standing there you have a large, ‘big picture view’ of the landscape around you. You can see the valleys and plains below, perhaps in the distance a town or city. There is a big sky above and around you. The clouds pass, the sun shines, you feel the bigger rhythms of nature. You can feel yourself reconnecting with your objectivity, your big picture, and as a result you feel your body, mind and heart relaxing. As you sit, simply breathe and relax as you look over your landscape. Explore what it feels like to be centred in the ‘big picture view’, not just mentally, but emotionally, and as a feeling in your body. Stay here as long as you like, let yourself ‘soak’ in the experience.

Step 2: Shortly before you finish the meditation, bring to mind some of the things that you have gotten caught up in in your life, where you have lost the big picture view. Practise seeing them with this new ‘big picture view’ as if viewing them like a landscape from a high position.

Step 3: When back in your daily life, occasionally come back to your experience of the ‘big picture view’. Notice whether you are still in touch with it or not. If necessary, spend a few moments re-connecting to your objectivity, and relaxing as you regain your perspective.

Related articlesThe conscious self in the landscape of the mind
Letting your inner landscape come alive
Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.


Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday October 19th, 4-5.30pm – Get your meditation pratice started now – The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Weds 30th Oct & Friday 1st Nov, 7.30-8.30pm – Samhain Meditation – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Starts Sunday November 3rd – A six week mindfulness course for adults with ADHD

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Choosing to be on Your Own Side

W
‘Are you for yourself or against yourself?’ 
 N

Dear Integrral Meditators,

Of the articles I have written, this is one of  my favourites. I’ll be basing the Wednesday evening class upon it this week, if can’t make it physically then you can get the recording  for the same price as the live class. Then this Saturday 4-5.30pm there is the monthly meditation workshop for beginners.

In the spirit of being on our own sides,

Toby


Choosing to be on Your Own Side

When you take a creative chance in your business and it does not come out ideally, do you berate yourself for being stupid, or do you congratulate yourself for your creative courage and learn from what you did and what happened?

When you are experiencing a difficult emotional state, do you take the time to express support and warmth to yourself or do you just try and bury the emotion and distract yourself from what you are feeling because of the discomfort?

When you are tired do you let the physical fatigue turn into a series of negative thoughts about yourself, your life and those around you, or do you consciously extend support to your tired body and make the effort to create a positive inner dialogue to help cope with the fatigue until you can get some rest?

When you ask someone you fancy out for a date and they say no, do you make a point of feeling good that you had the emotional courage to ask, or do you cringe with self-embarrassment and wallow in self loathing?

Are you for yourself or against yourself? 
This is one of the most productive mindfulness questions to ask yourself, every day. Each day in many ways, in thought and deed, in subtle and not so subtle actions, we are either expressing warmth, support and friendship to ourself, or we are expressing the opposite; coldness, judgment, self-loathing, self-sabotaging, self-isolating and so on.

To be for yourself is not negatively selfish, it is simply to recognize the your most important intimate relationship is ultimately with yourself; you are the one you have to spend 24 hours a day with, if you get your relationship to yourself right you are setting the stage for success in your life on multiple levels.

No one else can make your relationship to yourself right for you, you have to tread the journey to being truly for yourself alone. You can receive help and advice of course (this article pointing the way for example), but the moment to moment effort to be on your own side can only be exerted by you for you.

Today are you going to be the one supporting and encouraging yourself to the next level of creative expression in your life, or are you going to be the main thing that is holding you back, keeping you scared?

Be on your own side, be for yourself, not against youself. You do have a choice, it is up to you.

Related Article: Life-fullness

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.


Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday October 19th, 4-5.30pm – Get your meditation pratice started now – The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Weds 30th Oct & Friday 1st Nov, 7.30-8.30pm – Samhain Meditation – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Starts Sunday November 3rd – A six week mindfulness course for adults with ADHD

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Meditation: Expanding your state-vocabulary

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“The discipline and art of the meditator is to keep yourself in a balanced, positive state of mind as much as possible as you go through the day, despite what obstacles may come up.” 
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Dear Integal Meditators,
What is meditation? How can we understand the principles of it, in order to practice it better? My article below offers one response to this.
Two weeks to the start date of my Mindfulness Program for coaches, trainers and therapists, click on the link below for full details!

In the spirit of  meditation,

Toby

 

 


The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors and Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and deep wellness – Starting October 5th & 8th!Overview: This is a six-session dynamic mindfulness program designed for:

  • Those looking for an engaged, practical mindfulness course designed to build resilience, effectiveness and wellness in the face of work and life challenges
  • Trainers, coaches and therapists looking to integrate mindfulness into their own professional practice with clients
  • People who have been through basic conventional mindfulness training programs and are looking for the next level of practice and performance

Meditation: Expanding your state vocabulary

There are many different types of meditation. Looking at all of them can be a bit confusing; What is the right one for me? Which one is the ‘best’? What am I trying to ‘do’?
Here is one basic definition of meditation that I find most useful for getting a ‘big picture’ sense of what meditation is, and how to start using it: “Meditation is state training”
You are in a state of body/mind/heart all the time, and this changes thru-out the day. The three basic states are and waking dreaming and dreamless sleep. Even with the waking state there are many different states of mind:

  • Calm or agitated
  • Anxious or confident
  • Loving or angry
  • Tired or energized
  • Happy or sad

The list goes on, as there are hundreds of waking states!
So, the discipline and art of the meditator is to keep  yourself in a balanced, positive state of mind as much as possible as you go through the day, despite what obstacles may come up.
There are four questions that the meditation is interested in:

  1. What do I notice are my current habitual range of mind-states?
  2. How can I strengthen my existing ‘positive’ states?
  3. How can I work constructively with the states of mind that are currently obstructing my well-being and effectiveness?
  4. How can I expand the range of positive states that are available to me ?

All meditation practices are state trainings. All of them seek to answer these four questions in different ways. If you ask yourself these four questions around a specific area of your life, then you will start to become aware of your own present range of states. You can then identify specific meditations to strengthen and broaden your own range of positive mind-states!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.


Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Monday Setember 2nd, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Starting October 5th – The Integral Meditation Program for Coaches, Counsellors and Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and deep wellness


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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