“Owning and dealing with your anxiety well is an important life skill, However, sometimes the anxiety we experience is not entirely our own, and the solution to it is to recognize this and sometimes simply to give it back.”
Dear Integral Meditators,
What’s the boundary between what you feel, and the feelings of those around you, and in your environment? This weeks article looks at this boundary, and how to become clearer and more aware about it.
If you enjoy the article, then you may consider this Saturday’s Mindfulness Masterclass 3-5pm Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty. If your interested in how to really put your anxiety to good positive use, then this is a great session to attend, you can come live or online!
In the spirit of mindful inoculation,
Toby
Giving back anxiety that is not yours
Owning and dealing with your anxiety well is an important life skill. There are often uncertainties and other causes that stimulate anxiety in our life, so knowing how to navigate this is fundamental. However, sometimes the anxiety we experience is not entirely our own, and the solution to it is to recognize this and sometimes simply to ‘give it back’.
A story
When I first started teaching meditation classes, first as a young layperson, then as a monk I would teach classes in the evening and then return back home. Often, I noticed that when I lay down to sleep that night, my body would feel uncomfortable, I would toss and turn, and I’d be having all sorts of difficult and strange trains of thought. I would have difficulty falling asleep, and often I would wake up in the middle of the night and continue to have difficult and anxious trains of thought, along with uncomfortable body sensations. At first I interpreted these as being all my own, and struggled manfully to resolve the trains of thought and emotions that were coming up. After a while however I started to recognize that actually, because I had been holding space for others in the class, I had absorbed emotional energy from the group, and what I was experiencing was actually empathic emotion and anxiety, that was not actually mine. After realizing this, I changed my strategy, recognizing and letting go of the anxiety that was not mine, and focusing on clearing out the dissonant energy from my body. Now when I do a class or coaching, noticing and releasing anxiety and energy that is not mine is mostly instinctive, but it is nevertheless vital for me to make the recognition when it occurs and is happening to me.
A few examples of when you might need to give back the anxiety
- If your partner, close friend or family member is anxious or moody about something, and you ‘catch’ a bit of it
- Certain atmospheres, anxieties and emotion in the office, or in your work team
- Certain places or neighbourhoods that carry a particular dissonant energy
- When there is large scale anxiety, such as in the recent Covid crisis, the group anxiety amplifies and feeds off our own, and they strengthen each other
- When someone has a type of anxiety that strongly resembles your own, and your identification with it means you absorb some empathically
In all of these cases, the anxiety is not ‘yours’ per-se, but it can infect you if you let it. The main thing to do here is to recognize that and either ‘hand it back’ so to speak, or observe it and release it from your own energy system.
You can apply this to other emotions and states
Of course, this doesn’t just apply to anxiety, it applies to many other emotional states, anger, fear, sadness. It also applies to positive emotions and states. We all have experience of being positively affected by an atmosphere, or a person or a place. When this happens, we can enjoy participating in it, rather than handing it back!
Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty (Live & Online)
Anxiety is a natural response to uncertainty and change, but for many of us the experience of anxiety is disturbing, upsetting, draining and stressful. This session focuses on practical ways to change your relationship to anxiety by:
- Accepting and working with your causes of anxiety
- Building greater awareness and appreciation of the things that give you stability and security in life
- Learning to think effectively and wisely around uncertainties and problems that are causing you anxiety
Tues & Weds 15th, 16th December, 7.30-8.30pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions
This session consists of :
- An opening section attuning to the new moon energy, and return to our ‘beginners mind’ a state of ‘new beginnings’
- A visualization section where we connect to positive imagery related to our own health, and the health of others in our life
- An envisioning section where we seek spontaneous images and inspiration related to healing
- A consolidation section where we focus on building the power and energy of our images, allowing them to energize and affect our health and healing the greatest degree possible
Saturday December 19th, 2.30-5pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat
These 2.5 hour meditation ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques, Toby will guide you into deep meditation flow states that…read full details
Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation
About the class: The Winter Solstice is deepest point of Winter in the northern hemisphere, the point of maximum outer darkness & the shortest day.
In Celtic the name of the winter solstice in ‘Alban Arthan’ of ‘The Light of Arthur’. In this case Arthur refers to the Sun God who, at this time of maximum darkness in the year dies and is reborn in the world of nature and within ourselves…read full details
Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
Are you looking a coach who can help you to:
- Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
- Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
- Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
- Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:
Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule
Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)
Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)
Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty
Tues & Weds 15th, 16th December, 7.30-8.30pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions
Saturday December 19th, 2.30-5pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat
Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation
Tues 29th & Weds 30th Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation
Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood
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