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Getting comfortable in your own skin

W
“We all want a place where we can feel ‘at home’. We can change house, town or country in order to feel more at home, but the one thing we cant change is our physical body. If we feel at home in our body, then wherever we are in life, we can ‘sit’ in a place where feel comfortable”
W
Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores the importance of being comfortable in your own skin, and how you can start going about becoming so in your daily life! You can watch my video on the same topic HERE.  This weeks Tuesday and Wednesday evening class will be on the same subject.I have also done a new write up and video for my Business coaching offering. If this is something that you are interested in for yourself or for your organisation, then do check it out!

In the spirit of the journey,Toby

Getting comfortable in your own skin

Finding a home in your body
We all want a place where we can feel ‘at home’. We can change house, town or country in order to find a place where we feel more at home, but the one thing we can’t change is our physical body (at least in this particular life!) If we feel at home in our body, then wherever we are in life, we can ‘sit’ in a place where feel comfortable. Getting ‘comfortable in our own skin’ then is a foundational mindfulness skill that continues to give us value the more we cultivate it, wherever we are!

Looking after your physical well-being
On an obvious level, looking after our health is an important part of feeling comfortable in our skin. The better we can sleep, balance our diet and build ‘good energy’ on our body, the easier it is going to be to sit within the presence of our body enjoyably.

Accepting and liking your physical body
On the psychological level, its important to be aware of your relationship to your body. If you don’t like your body, or even ‘hate’ it for not looking the way you want or would like, then its difficult to sit comfortably with it. So, whatever your body looks like, moving towards a space of acceptance and liking of your body is super-important to relaxing and being present with yourself.

Being comfortable with the range of emotions present in your body
Quite often our mind will ‘jump out’ or run away from our body because there are emotions present in it that we aren’t comfortable with (Eg: resentment, anger, sadness etc….). So, learning to hold space benevolently for a wide range of emotions and remain in you body is an important skill. The more comfortable you can get with uncomfortable emotions, the more stable your ability to be at home in your own skin will be.

Being comfortable with your self!
An extension from your previous point, in order to sit and be present in your own skin, you need to like yourself, or at least be working toward self-acceptance. Otherwise your mind will be continually trying to ‘escape’ your own presence, as it is such an uncomfortable place to be! Since your physical body is the place in the present moment where you always encounter yourself, then it’s difficult to be there if you don’t like who you are.

Finding a place to get comfortable 
Cultivating comfort in your own skin takes a bit of practice, so it can be good to have a specific chair or place in your home where you can just take a few minutes to practice. You can practice anywhere, but having a pleasant place that you enjoy can be a good support as you get going.

A short exercise
For a few minutes, simply invite your mind to come home to rest in your physical body. Notice how fundamentally comfortable or not you feel sitting ‘inside your skin’. Notice any resistance you may have, and encourage your mind to gently enjoy resting within the presence of your body. Breathe, relax and get as ‘at home’ as you can. Reasons to escape into your mental world will come up, but for now really emphasize making your body your home, a source of regeneration, well-being and resilience.

In daily life
Notice times in the day when you become uncomfortable in your body. Cultivate an awareness of your body and an ability to get increasingly comfortable in your own skin, even in times of stress or dis-ease.

Related article: Making your body your castle

Watch Toby’s video on getting comfortable in your own skin:

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020.

Mindful Business CoachingThis is a coaching service for executives, small/medium size business owners and entrepreneurs who are seeking to improve four areas of their worklife:

  • Personal stress levels and wellbeing
  • Leadership and creative vision
  • Time and task management
  • Management of people and developing soft skills
  • Click here to read more

Watch Toby talking about his Business coaching:

 

All upcoming classes and workshops for January 2020

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Sunday 9th February, 7.30-8.30pm – Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday 22nd February, 10.30am-12pm – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Saturday 22nd Feb 2-5.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop

Friday, Sat, Sunday 20,21,22nd March – The Qi Gong Foundation Program & Program for coaches and trainers 

Ongoing – The Men’s group, the path of conscious manhood

Ongoing  – The Integral Mindfulness & Meditation Online Program, January-July 2020

Integral Meditation Asia

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Combining your Beginners Mind & your Wise Mind

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“There is an art to combining your beginners and experienced mind that will enable you to be successful in your chosen endeavors, as well as derive more pleasure and enjoyment from them”

 W

Dear Integral Meditators,

As we sit in between the Western new year and the Chinese Lunar year, it can be an interesting time to cultivate our beginners mind, in balance with our experienced mind. The article below offers a few practical ways to start!
The Wednesday classes this week will be on the subject of the article, and the next Beginners Meditation Workshop is on Saturday the 18th.

In the spirit of the journey,

Toby

Songs of Innocence and Experience – Combining your beginners mind with your wise mind

Your beginners mind (BM) is your ability to come to a task or experience with curiosity, as if for the first time.  It may be an experience that you have had many times before, or you may literally be doing it for the first time. Either way your beginners mind is a learning mindset. It watches closely, absorbing as much information as it can. Think of a child intensely interested and involved in trying to ride a bike for the first time, and you get the idea. Your BM is happy to try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, until it succeeds.
Your beginners mind helps you to keep on learning as you get older, keep your enthusiasm for life, keep you positively humble. Your BM helps you learn new things faster, and prevents you taking familiar good things in your life for granted. Mentally it keeps you young, flexible and joyful.
The beginners mind should not be confused with simply being naïve, childish, or getting bored easily and so giving up on tasks before they are done or mastered!

Your experienced mind (EM) is the sum total of all your life experience up to this point. It knows a lot of things that are very useful in helping you navigate all the situations and choices that you have to go through each day. You might think of it as the wise old man or woman within you that compares what is happening in the moment to the past in order to see if there are any patterns, experiences or learning’s that you already have that can help you with what you are facing right now.
Your EM helps you to leverage on what you know already in order to prevent you making mistakes. It saves you time, helps avoid pain, and enjoy greater success with regard to  what you are experiencing in the moment. It recognizes that in many situations we are not complete beginners, and that that is a very good thing!
Your experienced mind should not be confused with that part of you that becomes cynical, jaded, or that thinks it ‘knows it all’. It is intelligent, helpful and alert.

Integrating your beginners and your experienced mindsets
From an integral mindfulness point of view, we try to combine the best of our beginner’s mind and experienced mind together, so they are helping each other, and us to meet our life challenges more successfully. One simple way to start doing this is to ask two questions regarding any challenge you have, and want to extract practical learning from:

  1. If I view this situation as if for the first time, what do I see and observe?
  2. What is my past experience and learning telling me about this situation?

Sit with each question for a short while, and see what perspectives and insights come from both. You can then combine them into a wise approach to your experience that combines your ability to learn in the moment (beginners mind) with your ability to use past experience effectively (experienced mind).

A simple example
Forty minutes ago I sat down to write this article. I felt a bit nervous and unsure about the content, but my experienced mind (EM) told me that if I just started mapping it out and writing, I would find the idea translated into an article.  I then set aside my EM and brought my BM to the task, seeing the content ‘as if for the first time, paying attention to the present, being curious and enthusiastic. Now here I am, at the end of my article, my work complete. It’s a simple example. How could you combine your beginners and experienced mind today in order to be successful in your chosen endeavor?

Click here to listen to a 20 minute beginners mind meditation that I recently recorded.

Related article: Appreciating the past to liberate the present

Integral Meditation Asia

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Connecting to your circle of strength

“Open to the feeling of being supported as you go about your day; recognizing that you are not alone in the world, and that you have genuine support available to you at all times”

W

Dear Integral Meditators,

Mindfulness in and with your relationships can be genuinely transformative.  This weeks article looks at one way to start tapping into its power!

Reminder that the Men’s group re-starts next Monday, and of this Saturday’s Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session from 6.30-7.30pm!

In the spirit of supporting each other,

Toby

 

 

Article: Connecting to your circle of strength

On a very primal, mammalian level, we draw strength from the feeling of belonging to a group, a family or a tribe. Being mindful of who your ‘core circle of support or strength’ is in your life is a simple but profound practice that, once we start it becomes a reliable source of strength and stability as we navigate life’s ups and downs.

Giving and receiving: Two basic aspects of relational health
Before we get to our core circle, I want to mention two aspects of relational health that are kind of like you left and right hand; they are fundamental. The first is knowing how to receive; to receive support and love from others (and yourself), to let it in. the second is knowing how to give; to give love and support to others (and yourself). By knowing how to both give and receive we set up a mutually re-enforcing loop of good energy between ourself and others that is deeply conducive to psychological health and wellbeing. Too much or not enough of either can move us into a state of imbalance. You’ll probably find you are better at one or the other, but you need both!

Identifying your core circle
So then, if you consider your life now, who are the 3-5 core people around you that you trust? These are people who you can rely upon to support you/extend love to, and vice-versa. Take a while to identify who they are, and then visualize them around you or beside you. As you do so see them smiling at you. Feel the support and trust that lies between you and them.

Building strength
As you breathe in, see if you can open your heart and body to receiving the love and support from your core circle. Do this for a while, then, as you breathe out, practice giving your love and support to them. You can then practice giving and receiving as you inhale and exhale, setting up an energetic loop of trust and support between you and your group.

Creating a variety of circles
If you like you can create different groups that you work with at different times. One could be based specifically around family, one around friends, one around professional colleagues and so on. You can even create imagined ones where you invite your heroes from literature or from history to surround you, and build a relationship with them!

There is no need to try and do it alone!
During the day, try and keep in mind your ‘Core circle of support’. Try and get used to the feeling of being supported as you go about your day; recognizing that you are not alone in the world, and that you have genuine support available to you at all times. Not feeling alone, even if we are physically alone can really help us to navigate our challenges more easily and with less stress. For the vast majority of people, their core circle already exists, its just a matter of leveraging upon it mindfully!

All upcoming classes and workshops for January 2020

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Tues 7th & Weds 8th January – 2020 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Saturday 11th January, 6.30-7.30pm – Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Starts Monday January 13th, 6.30-8pm – The Men’s group, the path of conscious manhood

Saturday 18th January, 10.30am-12pm – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Tues 21st & Weds 22nd January, 7.30-8.30pm – Lunar New Year Meditation 2020: Developing your inner-resourcefulness & practical wisdom in the year of the Rat

Friday, Sat, Sunday 7,8,9th February & Friday, Sat, Sunday 21,22,23rd February – The Qi Gong Foundation Program & Program for coaches and trainers 

Begins Monday 13th January – The Men’s group – The Path of Conscious Manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving as a man? What are mindful the skills needed to build, emotional, and personal freedom as a man that enhances relationships, work and well-being? Find deep support from a community of men committed to bringing out the very best of what they are capable!
Click here to find out more…

 

Integral Meditation Asia

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Meditation images for new year renewal

W
Dear Integral Meditators,
W
Its the beginning of the new year, a good time to focus on possibilities, potential and our beginners mind! . The article below explores three simple images that we can use to do this using the power of images and the imagination.

Toby

Images of renewal – The body-mind of a newborn

“Can you coax your mind from its wandering
and keep to the original oneness?
Can you let your body become
supple as a newborn child’s?” *

Much of the basic meditation experience involves creating a unified body-mind, where our mind, body and feelings are in the same place, at the same time. Below are three images that we can use in order to access this state of unified body-mind within ourself. Quite often if we use an image as our point of entry into meditation, it can help us achieve that state of meditative consciousness more quickly by engaging our imagination. When we engage our imagination with a meditation object, then its wanderings cease to become a distraction for us, because the force of our imagination is engaged in the experience of the meditative image itself. In particular, the three images below are designed to facilitate an experience of renewal and regeneration that we can access during the day, either in a short 1-3 minute exercise, or enter more deeply into during a longer meditation.

The newborn child – Imagine you are a newborn child, resting at ease, perhaps wrapped in a blanket. Your body is completely relaxed. your mind is pure awareness, no thought or concept at all. Because your body is so completely relaxed, and your mind contains no thought, they are experienced as one; the sensory relaxation of the body and the non-moving nature of the mind come together in a state of unity or singularity. Spend a few moments entering into this experience with your imagination sampling what it is like, and noting the way in which your own, adult body-mind start to merge together into a unity quite naturally, and without effort.

The tree in the forest – Imagine a tree in a forest, it can be one you know and are familiar with if you like. Observe the tree in your mind’s eye, sensing its singularity, its deep rootedness and stability, its opening to the sky through its branches. Now imagine yourself as the tree; physically strong, no thought at all within its consciousness, completely at-ease with itself and its environment; all the processes in the tree are done with no thought; the water rises, the sunlight is absorbed, the branches bend in the trees, the birds come and go. The trees body and its consciousness are always one, always here.

The earth – Sense the earth beneath your feet, allow yourself to ‘sink’ down into it, so that perhaps you are about waist or chest deep. sense the vast body of both the earth’s physical mass beneath and around you, as well as the consciousness of the earth; her huge all-embracing presence. The consciousness of the earth and the body of the earth are unified, a single entity. All the thoughts and activities of the humans and other creatures are contained within the body-mind of the earth, but this activity is completely dwarfed and drowned out of your awareness by the overwhelming stability, singularity and presence of the earths unified body-mind; her deep presence. Now experience yourself as the earths unified body-mind; completely singular, strong and stable.

As a final stage to any of these meditations, return to an awareness of your own body-mind, and bring the feeling of unity into it, so that you are able to experience your own body-mind in a state of stability, unity and resilience.

Related article: Renewal

*Quote from Chapter 10 of the Tao te ching by Lao Tsu, Stephen Mitchell translation

Weekends of 7,8,9th February 21,22,23rd February – The Qi Gong Foundation Program & Program for coaches and trainers 

15% early-bird offer until January 10th!

  • How can I create more energy within myself?
  • How can I use the energy that I have more effectively?
  • How can I direct the energy within me in a way the produces sustainable, dynamic physical, mental and emotional well-being?
  • How can I use Qi gong practices to help others, clients, family members, colleagues etc… enhance their energy levels and well-being?

Click here for more details

A Video Introduction to the Qi Gong Foundations Program by Toby

All upcoming classes and workshops for January 2020

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Tues 7th & Weds 8th January – 2020 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Saturday 11th January, 6.30-7.30pm – Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Starts Monday January 13th, 6.30-8pm – The Men’s group, the path of conscious manhood

Saturday 18th January, 10.30am-12pm – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Tues 21st & Weds 22nd January, 7.30-8.30pm – Lunar New Year Meditation 2020: Developing your inner-resourcefulness & practical wisdom in the year of the Rat

Friday, Sat, Sunday 7,8,9th February & Friday, Sat, Sunday 21,22,23rd February – The Qi Gong Foundation Program & Program for coaches and trainers 

Integral Meditation AsiaOnline Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Finding refuge from Time Oppression – Dropping out of time and into stillness

W
“One point about dropping out of time and into stillness is that we can then return to our experience of time more enjoyably and effectively.”
W

Dear Integral Meditators,

Were in the gap now between Christmas and the new year, the article below offers a few hints on how to use the in between space to find a deeper experience of stillness.

I’m just getting together the new years courses, the first meditation session will be the 2020 New year releasing and inviting meditation on the 7th & 8th Jan, with the latest edition of  The Men’s group  – the path of conscious manhood kicking off on the 13th January.

In the spirit of stillness moving through time,

Toby

Finding refuge from Time Oppression – Dropping out of time and into stillness (to get better at time)

Almost everyone, myself included seems to be suffering from the feeling (not necessarily the reality) of ‘not enough time’. The practice below offers one way in which we can liberate ourselves from the oppression of time, and even learn to thrive in our (apparently) time poor environment.

Trying to cultivate stillness in meditation by becoming physically still and just focusing on the breathing can sometimes feel labour intensive. One way of cultivating stillness in a more ergonomic manner is to realize that the movement in our mind depends upon two foundational elements in order to sustain itself; time and space. In this article I shall be focusing on how to still the mind by stilling time.

Without time the mind cannot function
The first point to realize here is that time (The idea of past, present and future) is a concept and creation of the mind itself. If you drop the concept of time then time itself, for you in that moment stops, and you enter into a place called ‘The eternal present’.

If you drop time, stillness can be stabilized
If you imagine strongly that past and future no longer exist, that they have disappeared, then your wandering distracted mind temporarily has no-where to go except the present moment. This is because to move into the past and future depends upon the idea of there being time.

Dropping out of time, moving entering into the stillness of the eternal present
In addition to imagining time has disappeared, you can also imagine yourself in a landscape or a place that for you helps you to relax into the present more deeply, and step out of time. You have a whole vocabulary of images and felt experiences in your memory that, if you recall them will help you to relax and ‘step out of time and into the present’. You can try this technique for 3-5minutes initially, and build up to 10mins or more if you like. If you persist, then you will find that you develop the capacity to drop ‘out of time’ and into a state of stillness relatively easily, at will, and in a way that does not take much effort.

Returning to time more mindfully
The point about dropping out of time and into stillness in this way is, firstly it is very relaxing and invites recovery, self-awareness and wisdom. Secondly, by dropping out of time for a while, we can then return to our experience of past, present and future more enjoyably and effectively. Because we are not obsessively stuck thinking of the the past or future, we can consciously consider past events and future scenarios more calmly, rationally and effectively.
By stepping out of time regularly and entering stillness, we can return to time and use it better!

Related article: The inevitability of the present moment

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Tues 7th & Weds 8th January – 2020 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Starts Monday January 13th, 6.30-8pm – The Men’s group, the path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation AsiaOnline Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Concentration creative imagery Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

Strong back, soft front

W
“By practicing a physically ‘strong back, soft front’ posture, we can get a feeling of what it is like to be inwardly strong and at the same time gentle on a psychological level.”
W 

Dear Toby,

This weeks article looks considers how physical posture can invite psychological change, and how you can cultivate real inner strength.

In the spirit of  strength and gentleness,

Toby

Strong back, soft front

Traditional meditation posture involves sitting up straight, with an unsupported back. The head and neck are above the chest and shoulders, chest above the belly, belly sitting above the hips, like a stack of bricks. One reason for this is that meditation is about alertness as much as relaxation. If you lean against something, it may be relaxing, but the danger of your alertness dipping increases. So we can sit upright to cultivate this balance of relaxation and alertness upon which all effective meditation and mindfulness relies.

Soft front, strong back
As you are sitting up straight with a strong back, you can also deliberately soften the front of your body, the chest, belly and face. So you have a soft front, backed up by a strong backbone. This can be a physical posture that reminds us of how to be in life; we can present a gentle, restrained face to the world, because we know we are strong inside. Because we are inwardly strong, we are confident enough to be gentle outside (unless it is appropriate not to be so for a specific reason).

Armoring the front to hide a weak back
Often in life our position is the opposite of strong back, soft front. We feel afraid and insecure on the inside (weak back), and so to compensate we present a strong, armored, even aggressive front to the world to compensate. This affects our sense of who we are, and how other people experience us. By practicing the ‘strong back, soft front’ posture, we can get a bodily feeling of what it is like to be inwardly strong and at the same time gentle on a psychological level.

Practicum
Spend a little time each day sitting with a strong back and soft front. Let your body learn to recognize what this feels like. As you go about your daily activities, experiment with what it is like to feel strong inside and so gentle on the outside. Try talking and acting from this place in your relationships and in the way that you interact with the world. Notice how this changes how you participate in your life, and the opportunities for creative change it opens for you.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Tuesday and Wednesday 17,18 December – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Understanding the ergonomics of acceptance

W
“How much more ’emotionally ergonomic’ could you be if you didn’t give your negative emotions the resistance that they need to become stronger?”
Y

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks a bit closer at what mindful acceptance looks like, how it helps, and how you can start practicing.

In the spirit of acceptance,

Toby

Understanding the ergonomics of mindful acceptance

When you are building muscle in the gym, you do so by giving the muscle resistance to work against, so it becomes stronger.
The same holds true on a psychological level; when you resist an emotion or situation that is present for you, you are providing ‘resistance’ for it to grow stronger.
So, when you have a difficult emotion or circumstance, counter-intuitively often the best thing to do once you become aware of it is to practice acceptance, aka non-resistance to it. When you practice acceptance skill fully, you deny the emotion the ´resistance’ that it needs to build strength. Consequently, the amount of energy you need to deal with it effectively is much reduced. The energy that you save then becomes available to focus on doing things that are actually going to help.

Example: Working with combined physical & logistical challenges
Recently I had go to hospital to repeat a small hernia operation. The next day was quite challenging, as I still had to do some work, and it was really quite painful to move around. As I was trying to catch up on my work and communications, my computer decided to stop working. This meant that, in addition to the physical discomfort, my work was doubly disrupted.
The next day I had to travel to the repair centre. Upon arrival I was told that they couldn’t fix it for a price less than the computer itself, and that it would take 4-8 weeks! So I then had to walk and travel some more to get a new computer. Basically the whole afternoon when I could have been resting up was taken hobbling around town obtaining a functional piece of hardware to work from!
It was a long day, and I could go on about other things that went wrong as well. At each stage I could feel my mind and emotions rising up to resist the reality of what is going on:

  • “I can’t believe it chose this time of all times to break, cant my computer see I just had an operation!”
  • “What, how can the repair cost as much as the original??”
  • “Why can’t I just catch a break!”

So, at each stage I had to consciously notice the emotional resistance, and gently encourage myself into a space of acceptance of the circumstances. From there I could look at what was in front of me, and act in the way that is most effective and took the least energy.
By practicing acceptance and non-resistance, by the end of the day I was resting up on my couch, with my new computer, and all that needed to be done had been done. Acceptance made it much less stressful and much more ergonomic than it would have been if I had been fighting my misfortune all the way through the afternoon.

In your own life:
What are the circumstances and experiences that you tend to resist? What emotions do you tend to repress or deny? What would happen if you were to practice conscious non-resistance and acceptance with them? How much more ’emotionally ergonomic’ could you be if you didn’t give your negative emotions the resistance that they need to become stronger?

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Tues  10th & Weds 11th December – Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday 14th & 15th December, 2-5.30pm – The Mindful Heart Meditation Workshop

Tuesday and Wednesday 17,18 December – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

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Awareness and insight Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Awareness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness One Minute Mindfulness

Allowing & Participating – Rethinking ‘being in control’

W
“By mindfully combining allowing and participating we can control things better, without feeling the need to be so ‘in control”
M 

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article offers a couple of practical thoughts on how to re-frame our idea of being in control in a way that means less stress and more effectiveness. This weeks Wednesday meditation class will be focusing on how to work with these ideas!

In the spirit of participation,

Toby

Allowing & Participating – Rethinking ‘being in control’

I’ve recently been experiencing a time in my life where there are so many factors undergoing change that inevitably anxiety keeps coming up. When change occurs, especially deep and radical change, the part of us that wants to feel ´in control’ inevitably feels stressed because the situation feels ´out of control’.
I did a session with a client about the same topic. She was fighting with a similar feeling of trying to be ‘in control’ whilst feeling so many factors ‘out of control’. One of the ways in which we reframed our situation was to use the polarity of ‘accepting and participating’ rather than ‘in control or out of control’.
In control and out of control is a win-lose game; to control is to win, to be out of control is to loose. With allowing and participating:

  • We allow things to be uncertain, unfixed, to an extent beyond our control. By accepting we relax more comfortably into the situation we find ourself without unnecessary struggle
  • By participating, we look for ways to dance with and influence the situation in creative and constructive ways. Without trying to fix everything at once, we enjoy engaging and participating with our life each day through action that is as intelligent and playful as we are able.

When we practice allowing and participating, we can create a win-win experience: We can relax with things we can’t totally control, while staying active and engaged.
By mindfully combining allowing and participating we can control things better, without feeling the need to be so ‘in control’.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Tues  10th & Weds 11th December – Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday 14th & 15th December, 2-5.30pm – The Mindful Heart Meditation Workshop

Tuesday and Wednesday 17,18 December – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Life-fullness Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Breathing Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Sinking your centre of gravity

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“If you observe your body during the day, you may notice is that, if there are a number of things that trigger your stress levels in succession, then your centre of gravity rises higher. If you consciously lower your centre of gravity, this can help build greater resilience to that stress.”
U
Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores somatic awareness and how it can help you deal better with stress.  Enjoy!

In the spirit of  balance,

Toby

 

 

 

 

Bringing your centre of gravity down

If you observe your body during the day, you may notice is that, if there are a number of things that trigger your stress levels in succession, then your centre of gravity rises higher.
For example, if during breakfast you are reminded of a project at work that is stuck, that thought causes your centre to rise a bit from your lower belly up into your stomach.
Then your partner reminds you that you haven’t started to organise for the party on the weekend, so your centre rises up into your chest. This is accompanied by shallower breathing, from the mid and upper lungs, you are no longer using the lower lung.
Then you go to work and 3-4 people are trying to get your attention. You can’t settle into a task, and even more stress is triggered. By now your stress levels are forcing your energy into your upper chest and shoulders. Your shoulders rise towards your ears, you are breathing from the top of your lungs, and your getting brain cramp behind your eyes as you try and ‘think’ your way out of all the uncomfortable feelings you are having!

Sinking your centre of gravity
One simple way to reduce your stress level then is to simply notice when your centre of gravity rises in your body, and spend a few moments bringing it down. here is one simple method that you can use:

  • Notice the height of your centre of gravity in your torso. For example, it may be in your upper chest or clavicles. Place your hand/palm on that level, and breathe, being aware of it.
  • Then place your hand mid-way between your current centre of gravity, and your lower belly area. As you breathe the next few breaths, ‘sink’ your centre of gravity down to this level, taking slightly deeper breaths than usual.
  •  Now place your hand over your lower belly area, just beneath the belly button. Over the next few breaths sink your centre of gravity down from your mid-level down into the belly. This makes your centre of gravity low, with your upper body relaxed. Feel your torso becoming ‘broad’ at the base (hips and belly) and ’narrow’ at the top (head and shoulders), like a mountain or pyramid.

Keeping your centre of gravity low in your body like this helps to release stress as it arises, and decompress stress that has been building up over time. Try doing the exercise three times a day, for just a minute each time, and observe the effect that it has on you.

 

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday November 16th, 11.30am-1pm – Get your meditation pratice started now – The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday November 23rd, 10am-1pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Tues  10th & Weds 11th December –  Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Inner vision Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership One Minute Mindfulness Stress Transformation

Finding ledges on the steep climb

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“During the day I practice ‘returning to a ledge’ several times, creating a safe, appreciative space where I can look after myself and also feel that the steep climb of my life is do-able, and that it is all worth it!”
S
Dear Toby,This weeks article describes an image that I have been using for a while to enjoy and appreciate my life, even when it feels like ‘the pressure is on’! I sometimes offer it as a pratice to my coaching clients when they are going through times of stress. I hope you enjoy it.This weekend has the beginners meditation workshop on Saturday morning for those interested.

In the spirit of ledges,

Toby

 

 

Finding ledges on the steep climb

I sometimes think about my life as a climb up a cliff face. Particularly when times are stressful, seemingly relentless and demanding I imagine myself climbing a steep cliff, with the destination a long way above and out of site. For most of the climb it is simply about looking around and reaching up for the next hand of foot hold, one after the next. Without a break, this would seem intimidating, so I imagine that on this climb there are small ledges that are just big enough for me to climb on and sit down. Here I can relax, regenerate and take temporary refuge. In my minds eye during the day I imagine I have reached one of these ledges. I sit and:

  • Look down of the most recent part of my climb and appreciate myself for having made the progress.
  • I imagine there is a light breeze and perhaps some sunlight. I look at the view of the landscape I have around me
  • Perhaps there are one or two rock flowers on the ledge, that help me to connect to the beauty in my life, and to know that my life is good, even amidst the pressure.
  • I breathe and take in the fresh air, I allow myself to pause and feel safe for this moment in my journey
  • I gather my strength and heart, and when I am ready I turn around and set of up the next section of my climb, renewed and more clear headed

During the day I practice ‘returning to a ledge’ several times, creating a safe, appreciative space where I can look after myself and also feel that the steep climb of my life is do-able, and that it is all worth it!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday November 16th, 11.30am-1pm – Get your meditation pratice started now – The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday November 23rd, 10am-1pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

Starts Sunday November 3rd – A six week mindfulness course for adults with ADHD

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology