Tag: stress transformation

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Awareness and insight Inner vision Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

The illusion of evasion, distraction, suppression

“Evasion, distraction and suppression can make us feel like we are escaping our inner-problems in the very short term, but we pay a heavy long-term price. By facing, accepting and embracing our inner discomfort our efforts are rewarded with deep confidence as we gradually become more and more courageous”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Running away from the things within us that we are afraid of can be very tempting. In the article below I look at the consequences of this strategy, and how we can set up new strategies that give us a better chance of genuinely enjoying out life, even when we are going through a tough patch.

If you enjoy the article, we will be meditating with the subject this week in the first class of the new  Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilance your welcome to join us, either live or online!

In the spirit of mindful embracing,

Toby

The illusion of evasion, distraction, suppression

Difficult things are difficult to face
It’s not easy to face the things that make us uncomfortable in life.

  • Uncertainty of the future
  • Low self-esteem and lack of confidence in the face of a challenge
  • Regrets about the past
  • Fear of judgment
  • Feelings and emotions arising in us that we have been told are ‘bad’, forbidden or undesirable

The list could go on and on here, there are so many tricky and nervous-making things that can come up inside us in the face of our life-challenges.

The three types of short-term escape
In response to our discomfort, it can be easy to do three things:

  • Evade – Pretend we aren’t having the feeling, never acknowledge it or talk about it, push it out of our mind or think faster about something else whenever it comes up
  • Distract – Keep outwardly busy so we don’t have time to reflect on what’s going on inside. Go to social events we aren’t really interested in. Watch too much TV. Stay over-busy at work.
  • Suppress – Block the feelings and thoughts, put up inner walls, deny its existence, armor and tense our body against the presence of the emotional threat.

All of these three can feel like we are escaping in the very short term, but the longer-term price we pay is:

  • We remain stuck with the same unresolved difficult feelings and thoughts
  • We lose courage and self-esteem as we repeatedly (often unconsciously) give into fear and run away.
  • The unresolved feelings build and amplify, becoming larger and more difficult over time through the denial and suppression.
  • We can create actual repressions, where parts of our personality split off into the unconscious, becoming a part of our shadow, and haunting us continually from that place.

Replacing the three escape methods
A more courageous and effective methodology might be termed as ‘Facing, accepting and embracing’. If we take the example of working with anxiety around the future, this would mean:

  • Facing – When it arises, acknowledge it, turn toward not away from it. Bring it into your field of consciousness, not pushing it out and away
  • Accept – Accept that it is there, that it IS, even if it makes you uncomfortable, even if you don’t like it. Acceptance brings you into contact with the reality of your anxiety, and so in the best position to work with it effectively.
  • Embrace it – From acceptance, if we can then actually open to and embrace our inner challenge, it can begin to give back to us. For example we can then begin to work on transforming our anxiety about the future into excitement about the possibilities.

Transformation and enjoyment
Facing, accepting and embracing our inner challenges is a psychologically mature approach that rewards our efforts with confidence as we gradually become more and more courageous. It also helps us to remain practical and grounded in terms of finding real solutions to the actual things that are bothering us. Like all other well-done mindful methods, facing, accepting and embracing helps us to become more confident in the face of our reality, and in our capacity to deal with it effectively.

Related article: Unstructured mindfulness – Turning and facing yourself

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday /Wednesday 14/15th June – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilance

Tues & Weds 21/22nd June – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday June 25th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Monday-Weds 27-29th June – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three day course

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

The quickest way to de-stress

“The quickest way to de-stress…is to stop thinking about yourself“

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article is an ‘instant insight’ type piece, if you get it, a lot of good things follow! It also aims to give some context for the practice of dropping the self, it is designed to strengthen, not weaken our overall, healthy sense of ‘I’.
If you enjoy it, then do consider coming along to this Saturday’s Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat. Also the new Meditation class series starting 14/15th June The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilance is very much an exploration of this type of wisdom.

Finally, I’ll be doing the Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers three day course on 27-29th June. If you have any teenagers who you think would enjoy developing these skills, then this is the course for them!

In the spirit of dropping,

Toby

 

The quickest way to de-stress

…is to stop thinking about yourself.

The self as the center of your neurosis
If you reflect upon any of your experiences of stress, related to anxiety around the future, regrets, lack of something, getting fired…All of them have at the center of the experience you. The sense of a self sits at the middle of it all, facilitating and holding together the whole thing.

Practicing dropping the self
If you want a temporary liberation from this stress and inner tension, practice the discipline of putting down the self for a while. As a mindfulness exercise the trick here is to de-centralize your awareness; of course you’ll still be experiencing a body, thoughts, feelings and so on. But what you are trying to do is to not grasp at them as a part of your ‘I’. For example:

  • I can be aware of the sensation of my body without identifying it as mine
  • I can imagine that any thoughts that may be present ‘have no thinker’

Somatically, it’s good to relax the chest and central zone of the torso, where much of that holding onto self happens physically and energetically. If you can create a body that has dropped the feeling of the self, then dropping it mentally is much easier! As a mindfulness practice you can sit down and try and do this in an undistracted manner. Start with 3-5mins, and build up from there.

The liberated self
When you drop your conventional self-sense in this way, you notice that there is a new ‘self’ that starts to emerge, one that is not stressed by the comings and goings of your life events, but that remains bright and clear in the face of both enjoyment and difficulty.

Dropping the self is not distraction or evasion
Dropping the self in this manner is completely different from and not to be mistaken for avoiding yourself through distraction and ‘keeping busy’ in order to ‘not think about stuff’. This type of ‘keeping busy’ is more a way of pushing your stress ‘under the carpet’ so to speak. Of course, when you repress or suppress it is still there and comes out in other ways…

Thinking about yourself less
In your daily life, once you have a sense of the exercise on dropping your self you can practice thinking about yourself somewhat less, and with more objectivity. This is a way of managing your self better, without letting it become overwhelmingly intense and all pervasive. When you are very stressed it is actually very difficult not to be ‘selfish’ because there is this overwhelming sense of ‘I’ all the time. When you think about yourself less, you can be less selfish, whilst at the same time asserting your needs, wishes and preferences in life in an appropriate manner.

The complementary polarity: Self-responsibility
When we drop the self and think about it less, the complementary attitude to this is to live also with a strong sense of self, and of self-responsibility. This sense of self is a non-neurotic, confident, warm and expansive self-sense that feels able to deal with life without getting overwhelmed, and enjoys problem solving and being challenged to grow. The self-responsible ‘I’ can grow much more easily in an environment where the obsessive-compulsive self has been let go of.

Related article: Dropping the self

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Starts Tuesday /Wednesday 14/15th June – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilanceIn a sentence: Learn the art of ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom through integrative meditation
Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series is an ongoing series that looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention…. Read full details

Saturday 11th June, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart…read full details

Monday-Weds 27-29th June – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three day course

As a teenager, what were the life-skills you wish you had been taught, in addition to all your school subjects? These sessions are specifically designed to help teens develop their real inner skills that help them be:

  • More effective at achieving their chosen goals
  • Build confidence,
  • Build resilience around stress and
  • Increase their capacity for fun and enjoyment as they learn.

Read full details…

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Saturday 11th June, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Starts Tuesday /Wednesday 14/15th June – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilance

Saturday June 25th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Monday-Weds 27-29th June – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three day course

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership

Peace or victory?

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on mindfulness around conversations and arguments. we all know the expression “Do you want to be right or to be happy”, I explore a few of the nuances of this.

This weeks Tuesday & Wednesday meditations are an exploration of this theme in combination with that of ‘engaged equanimity’, you are welcome to join us, either live or online.

And final call for this Saturday morning’s Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat, if you haven’t tries it already, you might enjoy it!

In the spirit of the victory of peace,

Toby

 

Peace or victory?

The need to be right
It’s a familiar saying “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Certainly, in inter-relational mindfulness this is an important question. If we can’t be happy until the other person (or everyone!) acknowledges that we are right, then our happiness is going to be disrupted for large sections of our life. The skill here then would seem to be letting go of the need to be right, and choosing to value our peace of mind over ‘rightness’.

The need to be seen to be right
Its an interesting distinction between being right, and being seen to be right. Without the other saying explicitly we are right, often it seems not to be enough just to trust our own judgment assert our position and then leave it at that. Often the need for the approval or affirmation of others means that we can’t rest in peace unless we get it. So, when looking for the peace of being happy rather than right, accepting that we may not get the approval of the person/s we are arguing with would seem to be an important area to be mindful of.

The need for self-trust and sound judgment
If we are going to be focusing on “being happy rather than right” it’s also important to build trust and confidence in yourself, your perception and ability to process the facts of the matter as far as they are available. We need to articulate and hold to our values as well as we can. Being happy doesn’t need to come at the cost of not being able to stick up for our position, and act accordingly. We need to be as objectively ‘right’ as we can in our own judgments, without being addicted to the need for other people to always affirm that position to us.

To be happy to be not understood and seen
If we are not affirmed as right, or even dismissed as wrong in a conversation and we want to be able to retain a degree of inner peace, then we need to be ok sometimes with not being seen or understood by the other or others. This is not easy! But there is a lot to be gained from paying attention when you are in positions like this, and using them as a test off your independent-mindedness, and ability to be even-minded in the face of the disapproval, scorn, disagreement or indifference of others.

The victory of peace
The victory we are aiming at here is the peace that comes from not needing to be right, or have the approval of others. I would add to this that in combination with this we need to be able to trust and feel confident in our own judgment, otherwise we risk capitulating to others in an inappropriate way, and “letting go” of difficult conversations/arguments that need to be pursued over time simply because they make us uncomfortable.

Summary points for mindful reflection:

  • Do I want to be right or at peace?
  • Can I accept I may not get the approval of affirmation of others sometimes?
  • Do I trust my own judgement and clarity of thinking in this situation?
  • Can I be ok with not being understood or ‘seen’ sometimes?
  • How committed am I to the victory of peace rather than rightness?

Related article: Engaged equanimity

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday May 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Tues 17th/Weds 18th May: Wesak meditation

Saturday May 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Saturday 11th June, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self mind body connection Mindful Breathing Mindful Resilience Presence and being present

Fundamental sensuality, fundamental wealth & sustainable compassion

Dear Integral Meditators,

Where is your fundamental wealth and abundance to be found? This weeks article explores this question, and how to develop your connection to your inner resources.
If you enjoy the article, then we will be exploring it in some depth in this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday class, and final reminder for this Saturday’s  Zen deep dive-mini retreat!

In the spirit of the fundamentals,
Toby
Fundamental sensuality, fundamental wealth & sustainable compassion
Your fundamental sensuality
Sit or stand for a while, focusing on breathing into your body, and gently feeling its fundamental vitality or life-force. If you do this, you will notice that your body and body awareness starts to become sensual. This sensuality is a feeling in the body that is warm and alive. You can enhance this feeling using the breathing in this way: Inhale into the core of your body sensing its living nature. Breathe out relaxing your whole body into this feeling. You can build a flow state that is focused, relaxed and positively sensual like this. You could call this practice connecting to your fundamental sensuality, or vitality.
The thing about your fundamental sensuality is that it feels good, feels positive. It makes your body feel more comfortable, alive and happy. As a result, it is easier for you to direct your thoughts in a positive manner, and generate a variety of enjoyable emotions. Fundamental sensuality also encourages basic reality orientation, in the sense that it places us in contact with the immediate moment, taking us into our body, rather than getting lost in our mind.

Your fundamental warmth & wealth
Once you have some experience of your fundamental vitality or sensuality, you can practice directing its warmth toward yourself. You will discover that this feels friendly and pleasant, and encourages the sense of being both well disposed and supportive toward yourself. Chogyam Trungpa called this our ‘fundamental warmth’. When we focus on ourselves with warmth, it naturally gives rise to self-compassion and sensitivity in a way that encourages healing and integration, rather than wallowing in pain.

Sustainable compassion
With some experience of focusing your fundamental warmth toward yourself, the feeling then starts to come that you are fundamentally wealthy in the inner sense of the word, that you have an abundance of resources. If you then take this warm awareness and vitality and turn it around, then it becomes warmth and natural compassion for others. You feel as if you can generate warmth and compassion for others easily and without much effort, not because you are obliged to, but because you can and it feels quite natural to do so. Moreover, you can focus this warmth and compassion upon others with confidence that it won’t run out, and that if you need a source to recharge yourself from, then you can simply turn your fundamental warmth back toward yourself and receive it for a while. So, this position then gives us real confidence in our capacity to be compassionate and benevolent toward others, without fear of burning out or getting our batteries ‘run down’ by them, even if they are so called ‘energy vampires’ who specialize in using people’s sympathy to take energy from them!
So, the basic practice here has three stages:

  1. Developing your fundamental sensuality
  2. Directing it toward yourself to build your fundamental warmth and self-compassion
  3. Turning your fundamental warmth outward to the world and generating consistent compassion and generosity toward others in a way that is sustainable, and doesn’t lead to exhaustion.

You can build this up gradually, there is no hurry. But the idea is that, over time your energy becomes more and more resilient both intra-personally in your relationship to yourself, and inter-personally in your relationship toward others and the outer world.

Related article: Compassionate presence, awakened action
What is the point in being more present?

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

In a sentence: Establish the inner strength, skill and courage needed to make you resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and thrive in both times of adversity and times of peace.

Overview: The Warriors Creed is a poem by an unknown Samurai in the 14th century. It outlines a code of conduct and a state of presence based around a series of inner qualities that can be cultivated through mindful contemplation, then applied to our daily life…read full details

Saturday 14th April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreatThese 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart…read full details

Saturday May 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreatIn a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Tues 17th/Weds 18th May: Wesak meditation

Saturday May 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Saturday 14th April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight creative imagery Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology mind body connection Mindfulness One Minute Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation Zen Meditation

Letting things come to you

“It’s worth noticing then that sometimes we can get a good way to getting what we want by noticing what’s around us, and then letting things come to us, rather than running after them”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article is a contemplation on how to work mindfully with the limitation on your life in order to get a bit more of what you want. Enjoy!

If you enjoy the article, why not come along to this Saturday morning’s  Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat, which will be looking at three in depth methods for consciously going with the flow of things!

This weeks Tuesday & Wednesday class focuses on meditation for integrating “Readiness and appropriate action” and  “Emptiness and fullness” into our daily life. The Way of the mindful Warrior continues! You are welcome to join us at both events, either live or online!

In the spirit of letting things come,

Toby

Letting things come to you

I was at the beach this weekend. There was a decent reef out in the shallows beyond the sand. I was interested in taking a mask and swimming out to see the life on the reef, but that morning I was with my toddler, and so had to stay with her in the water. Walking with her slowly along the line between the sand and the rocks, some of the fish being curious started to swim around us. I stood still for a while, and before long there was a whole little Community of fishes swimming around for us to look at, including a few varieties of parrot fish 🐠.
I was wanting to swim out to the reef, but was
limited by my circumstances. However, by accepting where I was and then waiting in an observant way, I found that I got, in part what I was interested in; finding a pleasant combination of fish-watching and time with my child.
I guess my observation here would be that sometimes in life we are anxious to go and get the things that we want, and the mindset that we have around it is a striving and seeking one. If we can’t get what we want, or we are prevented from seeking it by limitation, then we can get frustrated. It’s worth noticing then that sometimes we can get a good way to getting what we want by noticing what’s around us, and then letting things come to us, rather than running after them!
What are the situations in your life where you could be letting things come to you a little bit more?

Related article: Non-striving

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 23rd April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart…read full details

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creedIn a sentence: Establish the inner strength, skill and courage needed to make you resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and thrive in both times of adversity and times of peace.Overview: The Warriors Creed is a poem by an unknown Samurai in the 14th century. It outlines a code of conduct and a state of presence based around a series of inner qualities that can be cultivated through mindful contemplation, then applied to our daily life…read full details

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class scheduleOngoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 9th April, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreatOngoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Saturday 23rd April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreatTues 17th/Weds 18th May: Wesak meditation

Integral Meditation AsiaOnline Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Honesty, enemies, friends, mindfulness – Three ‘warrior meditations’

“The invitation is to look at ourself and our life and embrace it fully, to accept it in an un-reserved and pro-active manner. When we ‘love our fate’ in this way we look honestly at the difficulties of our life, and open to them”

 

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on three short ‘warrior meditations’. They will be the subject of this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday class, you are welcome to join us, either live or online!

In the spirit of opening,

Toby

Honesty, enemies, friends, mindfulness – Three ‘warrior meditations’

Here are three mini “warrior-meditations” that I have put together. Each of them can be done as a meditation in itself, or combined into a three-stage practice. Each of them contains a core idea, which functions as the real ‘engine room’ or ‘energy creation room’ of the practice. Their inspiration was this passage from the ‘Warriors Creed’:
“I have no authority; I make honesty my authority
I have no enemies; I make carelessness and indifference my
enemies
I have no friends; I make the earth and sky my friends”

Working with honesty – Amor Fati
‘Amor Fati’ is a (Roman) Stoic saying that essentially means to ‘love one’s fate’ or to ‘embrace one’s fate’. The invitation here is to look at ourself and our life and embrace it fully, to accept it in an un-reserved but also pro-active manner. When we ‘love our fate’ in this way we are looking honestly at the challenges, mis-fortunes, limitations and difficulties of our life (as well as the good things), and opening to them. “This is my path and I embrace it fully and honestly, without looking away, or trying to run away, or moan. It is my path to own and build my inner strength, resilience and wisdom from.” Approaching our life in this way, we can be honest and at the same time joyful and accepting of all that we experience.

The Enemies of carelessness and indifference
To quote Franz Kafka: “You can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world, that is something that you are free to do, and it accords with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid.”
In the face of our own suffering and pain, and the over-whelming suffering of the world, it is easy and understandable when we try and numb ourselves, turn away, pretend we don’t care, and become indifferent. We pay a high price for this, for by cutting ourself off from caring we cut ourself off from joy and love and a multitude of other experiences that really put us in touch with why life is worth living. So here the meditation is to keep on remaining sensitive to the world, to care about ourself and others, and to commit to not numbing ourself. We can face our life and the world one day, one activity and one moment at a time, without getting overwhelmed, and make like Arthur Ashe; “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”

Friendship with the earth and sky
Humans are lonely creatures. We often seek company in order to relieve our loneliness but, as the saying goes, and I’ve heard many people say it about their experience “I’ve never felt so alone as when I’m in company”. One way to work on feeling less lonely that I’ve found tremendously useful is to simply be aware of the landscape that I live and move in, and feel myself to be in a supportive, friendly communion within. A simple meditation for this is to place your awareness on the horizon around you, sensing the sky and stars above and around you, and the living earth beneath you. As you breathe in, feel the energy of the earth and sky moving into you, and into your physical centre. As you breathe out, feel your energy expanding out from you centre out into the landscape. Feel yourself to be at home in the centre of the landscape you inhabit, feel it to be your friend. As you walk around in daily life, rather than just focusing on the pavement two metres in front of you, keep your head up a little, and be present to what’s around you, and of the horizon. Make friends with the earth sky and the things that you find therein…

Related article: Working Samadhi – The way of the mindful warrior

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

In a sentence: Establish the inner strength, skill and courage needed to make you resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and thrive in both times of adversity and times of peace.

Overview: The Warriors Creed is a poem by an unknown Samurai in the 14th century. It outlines a code of conduct and a state of presence based around a series of inner qualities that can be cultivated through mindful contemplation, then applied to our daily life…read full details

Saturday 23rd April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 9th April, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Ongoing – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Saturday 23rd April, 9.30am-12noon – Zen meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Tues 17th/Weds 18th May: Wesak meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Enlightened Flow Enlightened love and loving Inner vision Insight Meditation mind body connection Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present spiritual intelligence Zen Meditation

Karuna – Compassion arising from wisdom

“Karuna is not just intelligent intellectual or philosophical insight, it is wise compassion arising from visceral embodied, non-conceptual/non-verbal presence and seeing”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores ‘karuna’ or compassion arising from wisdom.  It is a subject we will explore in this  Tuesday and Wednesday evenings meditation session, you’d be welcome, live-in-person, or online..

In the spirit of karuna,

Toby

Karuna – Compassion arising from wisdom

Ordinary compassion
Ordinary compassion is something that we all possess. It happens when we observe the suffering of others with any degree of empathy. It leads us to sympathize, to wish them to be free of their pain, and if possible, do something to help. This kind of compassion is to a greater or lesser degree present in humans, and also to a more limited degree animals.
This kind of compassion is the source of many good things, and also a source of pain; with so much suffering in the world, and so few resources, when is the pain ever going to end?! When my brother and sister-in-law were doing NGO work in Afghanistan and Kazakhstan, they used to have to have a compulsory once every seven-week holiday, so that they didn’t get psychologically overwhelmed by the scale of the suffering they saw worked with.
This compassion can also cause us to withdraw from the world, to feel despair, to cut off from others in order to stop feeling the pain of seeing pain!

Karuna
Karuna is defined as ‘compassion arising from wisdom’. It’s a particular type of spontaneous compassion that arises from the discipline of being present mindfully, which then leads to a particular way of seeing and insight into ourself and the world, as-they-are.
With karuna, our compassion arises spontaneously, intuitively, and without sentimentality. If there is something that can be done in the moment, then we do it. If nothing can be done, the same karuna arises, but it does not give rise to inner conflict or despair. We simply do what we can, with what we have in the moment, and then let go.
Karuna arises from something called ‘working samadhi’, which is essentially the ability to keep focused and present in your daily life in the same way that you are able to in a formal sitting meditation. From this we can also see that a pre-requisite for karuna is the ability to focus the mind in formal meditation; if you can’t do it in sitting meditation, you won’t be able to do it in daily life. The wisdom that gives rise to karuna is not just intelligent intellectual or philosophical insight, it is wise compassion arising from visceral embodied, non-conceptual/non-verbal presence and seeing.
I’ve talked about compassionate presence this in my precious article (see link at the bottom. All I’m going to do to finish this entry off is to leave a quote by John Daido Loori on karuna, which is as beautiful and pithy an explanation of it as I have found. Keep meditating!

“Working samadhi…begins to manifest in activity now. We’re able to stay with what we are doing and not disconnect from the moment by chasing thoughts, pre-occupied with something other than the activity at hand, wishing we weren’t there. This single-mindedness on any and all facets of life is working samadhi….It’s our aliveness and presence, moment to moment. Each instant is lucid and complete.
Within that working samadhi, karuna – real compassion – begins to appear. Compassion is wisdom in action. It is not merely doing good. At the beginning of our practice, many of us experience an overwhelming, bleeding-heart impetus to save the world, mixed with equally overwhelming despair that there are just too many problems and too few resources. As practice matures, our awkward attempts or pessimistic withdrawals are replaced by genuine compassion arising from practice and realization. We see what we can do and we do it. We do it without even reflecting, or knowing why we’re doing it. Compassion happens. It happens the way we grow our hair. It is that simple and that mysterious.”
Quote, John Daido Loori – Chapter 5, ‘Path of Enlightenment – Stages in a Spiritual Journey

Related article: Compassionate presence, awakened action

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Tues & Weds March 22nd & 23rd – Spring Equinox balancing & renewing meditation

The Spring Equinox in the northern hemisphere marks the mid-point between the cooler, darker seasons of the year and the lighter, warmer ones. The forces of day and night, light and dark are of equal strength. As such it represents time to emphasize balance and harmony, both in our life and meditation practice.

It is also good time to attune the life-force in the earth and creative energies within ourselves. We will be taking the time to get in touch with the new ideas, energies and creativity within ourselves as they emerge like new plants and flowers in spring.


Saturday March 19th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details

Starts Tuesday 5th/Wednesday 6th April 2022 – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

In a sentence: Establish the inner strength, skill and courage needed to make you resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and thrive in both times of adversity and times of peace.

Overview: The Warriors Creed is a poem by an unknown Samurai in the 14th century. It outlines a code of conduct and a state of presence based around a series of inner qualities that can be cultivated through mindful contemplation, then applied to our daily life…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing January-March – Zen: The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

Saturday March 19th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Tues & Weds March 22nd & 23rd – Spring Equinox balancing & renewing meditation

Starts Tuesday 5th/Wednesday 6th April 2022 – The Way of the Mindful Warrior – Meditating with the Warriors creed

Tues 17th/Weds 18th May: Wesak meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease creative imagery Inner vision Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present Zen Meditation

Inner interior design – Structural calm & the state of stillness

“Create ‘inner furniture’ that is conducive to calm. This then helps you create more easily and deeply your inner ‘room’ of stillness”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores how you can combine structures and states of consciousness together in your everyday practice.  It is a subject we will explore in this  Tuesday and Wednesday evenings meditation session, you’d be welcome, live-in-person, or online.

Also please note change in time for the Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat, it is now Saturday March 19th, not 26th as was previously.

In the spirit of inner furniture,

Toby

Inner interior design – Structural calm & the state of stillness

Two types of consciousness work
It’s a useful distinction to understand that there are two basic and complementary ways that we can work with our consciousness; states & structures.
States are primarily what we work with in meditation. We cultivate a state of calm, a state of focus, a state of acceptance, a state of love and so forth. A state is like a mood, and atmosphere, an energetic experience. The idea is to give ourself a range of states through meditation that we can drop into and hold competently in a way that we can use them regularly and at will in our daily life, so that they can enhance our enjoyment, competence and balance.
Structures of consciousness are the moving, habitual components and patterns of our consciousness. A state is a ‘being’ phenomenon, a structure is a ‘doing’ phenomenon. Structures are:

  • The way we tend to think
  • How we deal with emotions
  • Our philosophy and belief structures (conscious and unconscious)
  • The way we manage the parts of our personality (inner child etc…)
  • The way we approach social interactions and conversation
  • The way we fight or flow with our body energy

Room and furniture
You can think about states as the rooms in your ‘inner house’. They are the basic spaces that you spend a lot of your time in. The structures then are like the objects and furniture that you place in the rooms. They are the actual things that you use to sit, work, relax, cut, sleep and so on. This image and analogy is useful for getting a sense of how the two interact, and how both are necessary for wellbeing and functional effectiveness. Working with them is like becoming a good ‘internal interior designer’!
Below I outline a simple one-two practice for creating structural calm and then a state of stillness. It’s an example of how you can put together a state and structure one-two punch that mutually enhance each other.

Working with structures for calm & peace
Sitting comfortably, direct your attention for a period to thoughts, images and memories that help you connect to calm. Here just be creative, for example:

  • “You’ve got time with this work project, its ok to relax for now”
  • The memory of a favourite landscape/s that, when you are there help you connect to calm
  • Anchoring your attention habitually to the breathing
  • You can include physical objects on your environment that when you look at or listen to help you feel calmer
  • The memory of a time when you felt safe, secure, relaxed

Once you start to get going, you’ll discover many ways of using your mind, memory and sensory attention in a structured way to move you toward calm

Working with states for stillness
You will have probably found that by cultivating structures that connect you to calm, that you will be feeling calmer already. From here we can then move into cultivating a state of stillness. We can do this very simply by breaking it down into three components:

  • Focusing on being physically still, and inviting the movement in our mind to start to slow
  • Dropping time, letting go of past and future, becoming fully present
  • Releasing our awareness of the space and directions around us. Coming back to our body, and allowing our awareness of our environment to fade

When we let go of time, movement and space, we move into a state of stillness. Just stay with the breathing and relax into the state of stillness.

Putting them together in daily life
Having a set of mental structures and focus points in your life gives you a way of creating ‘inner furniture’ that is conducive to calm. This then helps you create more easily and deeply your ‘room’ of stillness. The state feeds off of the structure, and the structure can feed off of the state.

Related articles: Dropping out of time and into stillness

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Tues & Weds March 22nd & 23rd – Spring Equinox balancing & renewing meditation

The Spring Equinox in the northern hemisphere marks the mid-point between the cooler, darker seasons of the year and the lighter, warmer ones. The forces of day and night, light and dark are of equal strength. As such it represents time to emphasize balance and harmony, both in our life and meditation practice.

It is also good time to attune the life-force in the earth and creative energies within ourselves. We will be taking the time to get in touch with the new ideas, energies and creativity within ourselves as they emerge like new plants and flowers in spring.


Saturday March 19th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing January-March – Zen: The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

Tues & Weds March 22nd & 23rd – Spring Equinox balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday March 19th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease creative imagery Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Presence and being present

Your thoughts as light-rays, your mind as the sun

“Let the light rays of your thoughts re-absorb back into your sun-like mind, and rest in that sense of wholeness and integration”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores a method I was taught many years ago by my Tibetan teacher as a way of resting on you primal mind or primal awareness.  If you enjoy the article, then we will be exploring its theme in this weeks Tuesday and Wednesday meditation class, you are welcome to join us!

Also, heads up for the new Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat this Sat 29th Jan. Movement, mobility, breathing and meditation are all intimately related!

In the spirit of lightrays,

Toby

Your thoughts as light rays, your mind as the sun

This meditation is a variation of one that I was taught at a Buddhist festival many years ago. Its aim is to help us to move from a busy thinking state to a state of warm, clear awareness in a relatively easy-going and relaxed manner. One issue that it addresses well is that it helps us to work with our thoughts, rather than against them as we move toward a meditative state.

Imagining the sun
First of all, you might like to imagine yourself sitting in a landscape with the sun above you, radiating it’s light all around you. You can use this time to set a bit of a mood and ambience by picturing the nature and landscape around you as pleasant, relaxing and sensual.

Imagining your mind as the sun
When your ready, you can then gently start to imagine your mind as the sun. You can imagine it located in your heart centre, or in the centre of your head as you prefer. See it radiating light all around you. Breathe in and out with this image and sensibility. At a certain point, start to see your mind as the sun, and the thoughts and images in your mind as like light-rays radiating from the sun.
Here by ‘mind’ we are really referring to our essential mind, or consciousness itself which is the source and basis of our thoughts and thinking.

Absorbing the light-rays of your thoughts
Once you have gotten used to the sense of your thoughts as being like light-rays radiating from your sun-like mind, you can then imagine that, when a thought comes up, that it is just a light-ray. Then let the light ray absorb back into your sun-like mind, and rest in that sense of wholeness and integration.

Relaxing into your ‘true nature’
If you practice the stage above for a while, then you’ll start to feel a sense of wholeness and integration in both your body and your mind. By becoming like an (increasingly) thought free sun, you will find yourself actually connecting with and experiencing your mind-as-consciousness-itself. In the great wisdom traditions, this experience is known as recognizing your true nature, or the fundamental essence of what/who you are beneath and beyond your physical being and psychological persona.

Practical tip: Connect to the warmth
As well as the light element of this form, if you can feel the warmth of the sun, and translate it to a feeling of emotional warmth and joy, then this makes the experience more complete. It also invites our emotional nature to participate as well as our  intellect.

Related articles: Head in the sun meditation
Witnessing like the sun

Related article: Becoming a man or woman of no rank

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

In case you missed it, from last week: Your spiritual ancestors

Two types of ancestors
We live within the energetic field of our ancestors and family, past and present. Becoming aware of this and working with it is an important dimension of our spiritual practice that can really enhance the richness of our life. It can also provide important keys to resolving blockages and conflicts, both within ourself and in our relationships…read full article

Saturday Jan 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details

 

Tues & Weds Feb 1st & 2nd – Lunar New Year Meditation 2022: Developing your inner power in the year of the Tiger

About the class: This is a meditation to welcome in the lunar new year energies, and attune to the astrological animal of the year, the Water Tiger! In particular, we will be mindfully aligning with and developing our inner and outer power as well as other primal characteristics of the Tiger.
Toby will be leading the meditation as a simple and profound way, with plenty of room for our own personal contemplation, inner healing and positivity building! Full details here

 

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing January-March – Zen: The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

Saturday Jan 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Tues & Weds Feb 1st & 2nd – Lunar New Year Meditation 2022: Developing your inner power in the year of the Tiger

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Biographical Enlightened service Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership

Monk socks/Going undercover

Dear Integral Meditators,

I hope you are enjoying the holiday season! Winter solstice coming up next Tuesday, if you are  interested in marking this with a meditation, then you’d be welcome to come along to my online  Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only) , on Tuesday 21st December,  7.30-8.30pm, SG time…

I’m at my parent’s place at the moment. yesterday my brother went up to the loft and brought down a bag with several pairs of burgundy socks, mine from my days as a monk back in the 90’s (see picture). This got me thinking about those times, and the article below is one thing that came out!

In the spirit of integration,

Toby

Deep undercover (An ex-monk returning to the market-place)

Some of you may remember the 2002 Hong Kong movie ‘Infernal affairs’ with Tony Leung about a policeman who goes deep undercover in a Triad gang, and then becomes the favourite of the ‘Godfather’ of the gang. The movie then follows his identity crisis as he moves deeper into his criminal role.

“Can I stay in your jail?”
When I was a young Buddhist monk staying in Singapore, I stayed for a number of months in the spare room of a student of mine, who lived in a local HDB apartment. He was a plainclothes policeman who had been undercover for a number of years in the local nightclub and drug scene. Like Tony Leung (but in a different way) he had gone deep into his role, and lost himself in the cars, the booze and the lifestyle of his role. Eventually after losing his marriage and having a bit of a breakdown, he had given up his undercover role, returned to mainstream policing, and become very devoted to Buddhism and meditation practice, which he had used a way of returning to relative normalcy and stability.
My undercover policeman had started coming to my class a couple of months earlier, and I had been staying at a number of different places in Singapore, just improvising really. When I learned that he was a policeman, I figured I could ask him if he had any spare jail cells that I could use to stay in. When I asked him, he looked very serious and thoughtful for a while, then said “No, but I have a meditation room in my apartment, and you can stay there!” And this is how I ended up staying with him.

Coming out of or going back undercover? – Returning to the marketplace as an ex-monk
When I returned to lay life as a monk in 2001, it felt a bit like I was simultaneously coming out of and going undercover:

  • In one way I felt I was coming out of an undercover role, or an alternate reality that I had been living as a monk, and the universe that surrounded that
  • On another level I felt I was going undercover in the sense that I was clearly now coming from quite a different perspective and experience from most of those around me in everyday society. So I was kind of having to ‘look normal’ whilst being quite different in reality!

Transforming but staying the same
Since that time, twenty years ago, I have remained in this situation, in many ways operating according to the same principles that I learned, practiced and created as a monk. Essentially what this means is that my main motivation for being in the world is to help with the evolution of the consciousness of groups and individuals my coaching and teaching meditation and mindfulness. On another level I have changed fundamentally. I am a business owner, I have a couple of kids, I’m married, I have a relatively complex secular life.

The integration is the path, not the problem
To hold these two polarities in places sometimes seems like a tricky process, like holding together two realities that seem to contradict each other. Over the years I have realized increasingly that the task of bringing together these two realities in an integrated way is not in the way of my path, it is my path. The path for me is very much the process of spiritualizing the secular, and secularizing the spiritual, so that together a greater wholeness is created in the world.
In what ways are you ‘working undercover’? And what is the transformation that might be affected within yourself and within society if you were successful in your role?

Related article: Am I happier now than when I was a Buddhist Monk? (Repetition and inner growth)

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Tuesday 21st December,  7.30-8.30pm, SG time – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

This will be a chance to reflect on the spiritual meaning of Christmas and power of the winter season. We will look at the different ways our own inner light can ‘die and be re-born once more’.

It is a good time to attune to the creative energies within ourselves. We can think about the new year & spring periods that lie ahead of us, what our goals & expectations are, & sow the seeds on an inner level of that which we wish to manifest over the next few months…read full details

 

Tues & Weds 4th & 5th January – 2022 New year & New Moon releasing and inviting meditation

This meditation session is focused upon setting up the 2022 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2022
  • Focusing both consciously and intuitively upon the inviting of new energies, aspirations and goals that we wish to bring in and manifest over the course of the new year…read full details

Begins Tues 11/Weds 12th January – The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

This series of 10 classes is an introduction to simple, practical Zen and Taoist meditations that can temporarily help us to reduce our stress and thrive joyfully in daily life. They can also, practiced regularly offer us experiential insight into our true nature and help us to answer some of our deepest life-questions and attain a truly stable sense of inner transformation. The sessions can be attended as a complete course in itself, or each class can be taken as a practice in and of itself…read full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
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All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 21st December,  7.30-8.30pm, SG time – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

Tues & Weds 4th & 5th January – 2022 New year & New Moon releasing and inviting meditation

Begins Tues 11/Weds 12th January – The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology