Month: February 2020

Working with the ‘Big Dog’ of your shadow self (Building inner strength)

Post author By Toby
Post date February 17, 2020

“By making friends with the ‘big dog’ of your shadow, a lot of the difficult and challenging parts of yourself that previously you ran away from will cease to feel threatening to you.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses upon how you can build a positive relationship to your shadow self, and experience a greater degree of inner resilience and confidence as a result…beneath it is my video on the topic where you can explore further. Shadow coaching is something I do a lot of, and it never ceases to amaze me the change it makes in people.Then on Saturday morning there is my monthly beginners meditation workshop, followed by an afternoon of Psychic and Psychological self-defence, the details of which I have placed below.

In the spirit of the journey,

Toby

Working with the ‘Big Dog’ of your shadow self (Building inner strength)

The shadow – your ‘wild self’
The shadow is a part of all of our psyches/psychological selves. It is often associated with the wild, instinctive and primal part of who we are. Its energy is often interpreted as aggressive, negative and frightening. This being the case, for many of us the shadow is a repressed part of ourself that we often run away from and bury within our sub-conscious mind. Hence it is our ‘shadow’ self, living in our sub-conscious, unacknowledged by our conscious self.

Your shadow is like a big dog
One way of imagining your shadow is like a big dog, full of power, instincts, libido/sexuality, and aggression (in the neutral sense of the word, meaning could be good or bad aggression).

What happens when you abuse your big dog?
If we are afraid of the dog of our shadow, then we often respond to it with fear, punishing it when it does something wrong. We behave like a tyrannical owner that our big dog learns to distrust and fear. As a result it becomes devious, working to fulfil its needs and wishes behind our back, when we ‘are not looking’. In this way we find ourself experiencing our shadow as an adversary, almost like a demon within us that seems to be trying to sabotage us all the time.

What happens when you train it well
If you build a conscious, positive relationship to your shadow, then this is like becoming a good dog trainer. You take the raw instincts and unruly behaviour of the dog and benevolently direct it. You are fair, and so the dog learns to trust you and love you. As a result, the dog becomes your powerful ally. It still has all the raw power, but it is working for you and with you, rather than against you. All the power of our shadow self becomes available to us to direct, enjoy and use to help us find fulfilment in our life.

Building strength of body heart and mind through working with your shadow
By making friends with the ‘big dog’ of your shadow, a lot of the difficult and challenging parts of yourself that previously you ran away from will cease to feel threatening to you. You will feel more confident and stronger within yourself. Also, your ability to stay steady in the face of the shadow self of others, or within groups of people is also transformed. Relationship situations that you previously experienced as threatening no longer intimidate you.

Check out the video on the big dog of the shadow:

Click this link for information on Toby’s Shadow coaching
Check out Toby’s other shadow articles on his website

Article & Content ©Toby Ouvry 2020, please do not reproduce without permission. info@tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes and workshops for January 2020

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday 22nd February, 10.30am-12pm – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Saturday 22nd Feb 2-5.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop

Tuesday 10th March, 7.30-8.30pm – Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Friday, Sat, Sunday 24,25,26th April – The Qi Gong Foundation Program & Program for coaches and trainers

Ongoing – The Men’s group, the path of conscious manhood

Ongoing – The Integral Mindfulness & Meditation Online Program, January-July 2020

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation in singapore, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, shadow coaching, shadow meditation, shadow self

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Getting comfortable in your own skin

Post author By Toby
Post date February 9, 2020

“We all want a place where we can feel ‘at home’. We can change house, town or country in order to feel more at home, but the one thing we cant change is our physical body. If we feel at home in our body, then wherever we are in life, we can ‘sit’ in a place where feel comfortable”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores the importance of being comfortable in your own skin, and how you can start going about becoming so in your daily life! You can watch my video on the same topic HERE. This weeks Tuesday and Wednesday evening class will be on the same subject.I have also done a new write up and video for my Business coaching offering. If this is something that you are interested in for yourself or for your organisation, then do check it out!

In the spirit of the journey,Toby

Getting comfortable in your own skin

Finding a home in your body
We all want a place where we can feel ‘at home’. We can change house, town or country in order to find a place where we feel more at home, but the one thing we can’t change is our physical body (at least in this particular life!) If we feel at home in our body, then wherever we are in life, we can ‘sit’ in a place where feel comfortable. Getting ‘comfortable in our own skin’ then is a foundational mindfulness skill that continues to give us value the more we cultivate it, wherever we are!

Looking after your physical well-being
On an obvious level, looking after our health is an important part of feeling comfortable in our skin. The better we can sleep, balance our diet and build ‘good energy’ on our body, the easier it is going to be to sit within the presence of our body enjoyably.

Accepting and liking your physical body
On the psychological level, its important to be aware of your relationship to your body. If you don’t like your body, or even ‘hate’ it for not looking the way you want or would like, then its difficult to sit comfortably with it. So, whatever your body looks like, moving towards a space of acceptance and liking of your body is super-important to relaxing and being present with yourself.

Being comfortable with the range of emotions present in your body
Quite often our mind will ‘jump out’ or run away from our body because there are emotions present in it that we aren’t comfortable with (Eg: resentment, anger, sadness etc….). So, learning to hold space benevolently for a wide range of emotions and remain in you body is an important skill. The more comfortable you can get with uncomfortable emotions, the more stable your ability to be at home in your own skin will be.

Being comfortable with your self!
An extension from your previous point, in order to sit and be present in your own skin, you need to like yourself, or at least be working toward self-acceptance. Otherwise your mind will be continually trying to ‘escape’ your own presence, as it is such an uncomfortable place to be! Since your physical body is the place in the present moment where you always encounter yourself, then it’s difficult to be there if you don’t like who you are.

Finding a place to get comfortable
Cultivating comfort in your own skin takes a bit of practice, so it can be good to have a specific chair or place in your home where you can just take a few minutes to practice. You can practice anywhere, but having a pleasant place that you enjoy can be a good support as you get going.

A short exercise
For a few minutes, simply invite your mind to come home to rest in your physical body. Notice how fundamentally comfortable or not you feel sitting ‘inside your skin’. Notice any resistance you may have, and encourage your mind to gently enjoy resting within the presence of your body. Breathe, relax and get as ‘at home’ as you can. Reasons to escape into your mental world will come up, but for now really emphasize making your body your home, a source of regeneration, well-being and resilience.

In daily life
Notice times in the day when you become uncomfortable in your body. Cultivate an awareness of your body and an ability to get increasingly comfortable in your own skin, even in times of stress or dis-ease.

Related article: Making your body your castle

Watch Toby’s video on getting comfortable in your own skin:

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020.

Mindful Business CoachingThis is a coaching service for executives, small/medium size business owners and entrepreneurs who are seeking to improve four areas of their worklife:

Personal stress levels and wellbeing
Leadership and creative vision
Time and task management
Management of people and developing soft skills
Click here to read more

Watch Toby talking about his Business coaching:

All upcoming classes and workshops for January 2020

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Sunday 9th February, 7.30-8.30pm – Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday 22nd February, 10.30am-12pm – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Saturday 22nd Feb 2-5.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop

Friday, Sat, Sunday 20,21,22nd March – The Qi Gong Foundation Program & Program for coaches and trainers

Ongoing – The Men’s group, the path of conscious manhood

Ongoing – The Integral Mindfulness & Meditation Online Program, January-July 2020

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation in singapore, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation

A Mind of Ease Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Mindfully getting outside of your comfort zone

Post author By Toby
Post date February 3, 2020

“Often, discovering the best that is possible for us in life involves deliberately, soulfully and mindfully getting out of our comfort zone! What can you start with today?”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores the relationship between comfort and discomfort, and how to create a complementary relationship between the two. You can also watch my video on the subject: Getting mindfully comfortable in order to get out of your comfort zone.In the spirit of getting comfortable with the uncomfortable,

Toby

Mindfully getting outside of your comfort zone

The ‘improvements’ of contemporary life
If you look at the way in which our life has gotten better as a result of technology, a lot of it has to do with comfort. You can get your favourite restaurant food ordered to your door, you can find information about whatever you want on Google, you can communicate with everyone thru your phone without having to leave your chair. The thing to notice about this is that comfort is not the same thing as greater fulfillment, happiness or well-being. Indeed, many forms of fulfillment and reward in life require and initial risk, or getting out of our comfort zone in order to receive the genuine reward of improved quality of life.
If we don’t watch out, we can get trapped in a subtle addiction to pursuing comfort in the false expectation that it can give us fulfillment on a deeper level, which of course it can’t.

So then, one really useful mindful question to ask ourselves is: “What can I do today to get out of my comfort zone and move towards deeper fulfillment?”
The purpose of this question is to ensure that we don’t get trapped in our comfort zone in a way that denies us the possibility a truly fulfilling, exciting and dynamic life.

Getting physically out of your comfort zone
An obvious and basic place to start is the physical level. Getting out of your comfort zone physically enables us to get fit, build physical skills and abilities, and avoid the consequences of an overly sedentary life.

Getting out of your emotional, mental and relational comfort zone
For many people getting out of their psychological and social comfort zone represents a bigger risk than just getting out of their physical one. Expanding your emotional range, spending time with people that are outside of your normal social circle all requires effort and discomfort. However, the consequent reward, fulfilment, and expansion of possibilities for us often rewards the effort many times over.

Combining genuine comfort and ease with engaging discomfort
Of course this isn’t saying that we shouldn’t Have good quality periods of ease and restorative comfort in our life. Indeed, I’m writing this on my way back from a deeply enjoyable and ease inducing holiday! The practice here is to dance each day between healthy comfort and healthy discomfort, the goal in mind being to act In a way that brings us as much genuine fulfillment as possible.
Often, discovering the best that is possible for us in life involves deliberately, soulfully and mindfully getting out of our comfort zone! What can you start with today?

Watch Toby’s video on getting mindfully out of your comfort zone here:

The Life-fullness Life Coaching Program with Toby

Life-fullness coaching is a unique integration of mindfulness and life-coaching that is designed to help you lead a progressively more awakened life. The essence of the Life-fullness approach is to integrate the different parts of who we are into complementary strengths so that we can really experience ourselves living our life to its fullest…

Watch Toby talking about the Life-fullness Program: