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Awareness and insight Biographical Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness

On overcoming fear of failure & your teenage-self

“If I am well connected to my inner teenager, then I can draw upon his innate curiosity, ambition and appetite for life in a way that other middle-aged folk who lack a vital connection to their inner teenager cannot!”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article explores the inner teenage-self, and how to work with him/her therapeutically in mindfulness. If you enjoy it then come along to this Tuesday & Wednesday’s Summer solstice meditation, where in a part of it we will be exploring our connection to this part of our self.

This Saturday I will be facilitating my Meditation & Mindfulness for working with your Child-self workshop, which is also a therapeutic mindfulness session.

Working with both our inner child & teenager forms a part of both my Therapeutic mindfulness coaching sessions, and my Mindful Self-knowledge program. If you are interested in either of those, just follow the links to find out more…

In the spirit of the teen-self,

Toby 


On overcoming fear of failure & your teenage-self

The teenage, or young-adult self is a part of our psychological being that has received less attention than the ‘inner child’, but nevertheless represents an equally important part of our ‘inner family’ that we can be rewarded for greatly by paying a little attention to. What I’d like to do in this article is to share a story about my own process around this from earlier in the year that illustrates in practical terms this type of work.
Before I tell the story, it is going to be useful I think to give working definition of our inner teenager, so here is one from Nathaniel Branden:

The teenage-self; is the component of the psyche containing the “personality” of the adolescent one once was, with that teenager’s range of values, emotions, needs, and responses; not a generic teenager or universal archetype, but a specific, historical one, unique to an individual’s history and development.

A general observation about our teenage-self, ideally it is good to have expressed our teenager in our teens, and gotten a lot of her/his behaviour out of our system when we were actual teenagers. However, if we didn’t, and we still sense a part of ourself that is ‘stuck’ at that level, then it is good to be able to draw her/him out consciously, and find ways that they can rebalance themselves in our current, later stage of life.

So here is my story.  In January I spent a little bit of time just being present to my inner teenager, checking in and seeing how he was. One of the things that came out of this was an awareness of how scared of failure he had been at various times. This is natural; teenagers are often self-conscious, and care about what others think. Consequently, if they try something and are rejected, or fail in front of others, then this can feel like a big deal! So, you can imagine I find myself engaging with memories of my teenage years involving that fear of failure, of embarrassing moments when I tried something and failed, or when said something that, shortly after I judged as ‘stupid’. I am sure that you will have similar moments from your teenage years that you can related to this!

After having this experience, I practiced simply being with my teenage-self, and re-assuring him that it’s ok to fail, that it was good that he tried things even when it didn’t work out, and that it’s not the big deal that he experienced it to be at the time. I did a little bit of journalling, a little bit of sentence completion as well as visualization. I felt that he seemed to receive this well, and appeared brighter and lighter when I saw him with me in my inner vision.
The curious thing about this process was that, whilst going through it I felt myself to be conducting myself in daily activities in a lighter, less worried manner. Unconscious tension that I may have still had in my system from my teenage years felt much reduced, daily life became easier and more carefree. It literally became more fun and less stressful to be me!

So, this is a good example of how using therapeutic mindfulness to work through previous stages of one’s life, in this case my teenage years and my present inner-teenager, can have a tangible and positive effect on the present and our experiences of it.

Related readingMeditating with your teenage-self
Meditating with your inner-family
Therapeutic-mindfulness anthology

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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Practical dimensions of chakra meditation

“When you meditate, you start to learn to move or ‘travel’ between different states of consciousness, which opens up creative possibilities”

Dear Toby, 

This week’s article takes at the chakras as a way of navigating between states of consciousness in meditation. If you enjoy it, it will be the subject of this week’s Tuesday, Wednesday class, or the Saturday dee-dive session. You would be welcome to join, either live-in-person, or online!

In the spirit of inner traveling, 

Toby 


Practical dimensions of chakra meditation

The subtle energy body and levels of consciousness

When you meditate, you start to learn to move or ‘travel’ between different states of consciousness, which opens up creative possibilities. The simplest model of consciousness states is a set of three and looks something like this:

Gross level – Physical body and biological life force (The domains of physics, chemistry & biology)
The subtle level – The level of mind, ranging from the everyday mind and attendant emotions to more subtle, refined, higher levels (The domains of psychology, philosophy & metaphysics).
The causal, or very subtle level of consciousness – The level of consciousness itself, formless, timeless (a ‘living, primal emptiness’) and unitive in nature.

Some correspondences – Chakras as a map of states of consciousness

Chakras are subtle energy centres, or ‘wheels’. They are most often described as being located along a central channel, or energy meridian that runs from the base of the spine to the crown of the head, and then down to the third eye, or point between the eyebrows. different schools and systems use different colours, but the ‘rainbow’ version described below is a good version to start with. The three levels of consciousness are split into the seven levels as follows.

Gross levels of consciousness (Physics, chemistry biology)

Base chakra – Located at the base of the spine, red in colour, related to the world of physical form, and our surviving/ thriving in that domain.

Sacral chakra – Located at along the spine at the level of the sacrum, orange in colour, related to the biological world of sexuality, reproduction, relationships, and the attendant feeling/emotional states

The subtle levels of consciousness

Solar plexus chakra – Located at the solar-plexus level of the spine, yellow in colour, related to the psychological world of everyday thinking, healthy or dysfunctional ego formation, our sense of power or agency, and/or lack of it.
Heart chakra – Located at the heart-level of the spine, green in colour, related to our love energy, both in relation to ourself, others and the world around us.
Throat chakra – Located at the throat-level of the spine, blue in colour, related to our communication energy (speech), both in relation to ourself, others and the world around us. You could also add ‘truth’ to this chakra, as in “speaking one’s truth.”
Third eye chakra – Located between the eyebrows (If you imagine the chakra column of meridian rising from the base of the skull, up to the crown of the head and then down between the eyebrows), indigo in colour, related to our wisdom facility, and depth of perception.

The very subtle, or causal level of consciousness

Crown Chakra – Located at the crown of the head, violet/white in colour, related to our capacity to rest in an expanded state of causal or formless consciousness.

A simple meditation

  • Sitting in meditation, sense into your subtle body, same shape, and size as your physical body, interpenetrating it
  • See the chakra column with the attendant chakras extending from the base of your spine to the crown of your head, and then down to the third eye zone between your eyebrows
  • In meditation feel and see light and energy being activated within your base chakra. Feel it rising progressively through each of the chakras, with their attendant colours and capacities.
  • See the light rising into your crown chakra, where your personal consciousness dissolves and merges with the timeless emptiness of consciousness itself
  • See the light from your crown chakra descending to the third-eye chakra between your eyebrows, rest in stillness. After a while imagine seeing the world around you, and yourself being inseparable from the formless timeless emptiness you contacted in your crown charka. The world is a dream-like manifestation of consciousness itself, that you are. They co-exist singularly, like the two sides of one coin…

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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Relating to the child-self within

“It is a wonderful thing to be able to grow old with a vibrant, healthy, and energised child-self accompanying us. The body may grow older, but the spirit stays young!”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

Who is your child-self, and how can you start to relate to her/him min a mindful and fulfilling way? The article below looks at these questions!

In the spirit of play & healing, 

Toby



Meditation & Mindfulness for working with your Child-self 
Workshop: Saturday 21st June, 2-5pm SG time, 

In a sentence: Learn how you can use mindfulness to discover & relate to the child-self that lies within you for the purposes of both therapeutic healing & personal thriving….read full details


Article: Relating to the child-self within you holistically

In my twenties and early thirties, after a decade of Buddhist meditating, I had enjoyed many experiences, and got several significant results. However, I also noticed that there was a part of me that had remained untouched by all the practice. Periodically he seemed to suffer from anxiety, fear, discombobulation, and a sense of ‘lost-ness’.
After leaving my life as a monk, one of the avenues that I explored related to this inner anxiety, was my relationship to the child-self within me. All of us have a child-self within us. It is the part of us that relates to our experience as a child, and that lives as a psychic reality within us now. Building a relationship to that part of myself, and helping him to heal, feel secure and build confidence was a large part of the experiential solution to the mysterious anxiety that I felt but could not resolve through conventional meditation. I have written about this in past articles, what I want to do here is to describe some simple mindfulness exercises that can help to build a relationship to your child-self in a way that is healing, confidence-building and strengthening.

Step 1 – Find a picture of yourself as a child, if you have a few available, look through them and pick one that resonates for you. Set aside a period of time, and simply look at the picture. Allow yourself to free-associate memories and feelings around your child-hood. Be curious about what comes up for you, being mindful that you are not trying to ‘solve’ anything at this stage. Sense into the image and your memories in three ways:

  • From your head awareness – Images, memories, thoughts, narratives, inner voices
  • From your heart and chest awareness – The range of emotions, feelings of closeness and distance, open-ness and closed-ness
  • From your belly and ‘gut’ awareness – Body sensations, instincts, non-verbal impulses, sensations of safety or danger, subtle changes in your body posture and facial expression

Step 2 – Imagine your child-self present in front of you. Smile at her/him gently, invite connection. If s/he wants to talk to you, let them talk. Let them ask questions, respond to those questions, enjoy relating to them.

Step 3 – With their permission and when ready, hold them, give them a hug. Holding them in your arms, allow an exchange of love. Extend that love to them and allow yourself to receive it from them. Let this connection of love start to work on the healing of any traumas that your child-self may have, and allow her/him to start to build trust and confidence in you as a ‘parental’ figure.

A further step is to then engage in activities each day where you are consciously doing them together with your child-self, and where there is room for play, interaction, and expression of a range of emotional states relating to your child-self. And of course, when you are with actual children, see this as a wonderful opportunity to explore your child-self with them in the outer world!

This type of mindfulness is a rich area to explore that has much to offer anyone who is willing to take the time to engage with it. It is a wonderful thing to be able to grow old with a vibrant, healthy, and energised child-self accompanying us. The body may grow older, but the spirit stays young!

If this article resonates with you, then do consider the upcoming workshop on Saturday 21st June, 2-5pm SG time – Meditation & Mindfulness for working with your Child-self.

Related articleMeditating with your child-self

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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The Freedom of your inner garden

“Work in the inner garden of your mind a little bit every day, like you would work on an outer garden to give it a sense of order & beauty”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article takes a look at inner and outer gardening. If you enjoy it, it will be the subject of this week’s Tuesday, Wednesday class. You would be welcome to join, either live-in-person, or online!

Beneath the article you can see the full list of events for June, including the Meditation & Mindfulness for working with your Child-self  workshop, and the summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation.
 
In the spirit of our inner gardens,

 
Toby


The Freedom of your inner garden
 
Cultivating an inner and outer Garden space
 
Yesterday, Sunday, I spent about an hour in the front and back garden, bringing a bit of order to the gentle chaos that it was becoming. I dug out the root of a Banyan tree at the back that had gone rogue, and I trimmed the jasmine bushes at the front, putting some eggshells and fertilizer in their pots. The great thing about doing any kind of gardening work is that, by the end of it your mind often feels wonderfully clear and peaceful. As well as the peaceful feeling, there is the sense of having brought order and harmony to the physical space, a sense of benevolent control. This in turn changes (for me at least) the overall sense of having some control and order in my life. When I walk through my front gate now, I have the feeling of satisfaction of having nurtured the garden, and I see the plants I have worked with.
 
In one sense of course this can also be taken as a metaphor for the ‘inner garden’ of our mind. Mindful attention is very much about noticing and nurturing focus on the things in life you can appreciate and feel good about. Yes, parts of your life may feel in chaos or dis-order, but don’t forget to notice the parts that aren’t (the inner equivalent of jasmine bushes in the above example), and feel good about the work you’ve done today to bring order to the chaos (the Banyan tree root above).
 
Your energy body and your environment
 
Gardening work and indeed any time in contact with nature can open up some interesting meditation capacities. Here are a few simple ways in which I work with the energy of the environment and nature regularly:

  • Feet on the ground, in meditation or walking, feel the light and energy from the Earth rising up into your body, activating its vitality. Feel like you have a body of energy interpenetrating your physical body. With your light body, sense into the mineral, plant, and elemental (earth, water, air, fire) energies around you. Let this contact feed and balance you inwardly.
  • Feel your belly area to be a focus point for your biological energy. Breathe in and out of your belly, feeling the natural bliss of your life-force and vitality building in that space.
  • Feel your heart-centre to be connected to the sun and its energy. See a beautiful sun at your heart. Breathing in and out of it, making the heart-zone of your body bright, loving & strong
  • Feel your head to be connected to the energy of the sky and stars. See a bright star-light in the centre of your brain, connecting you to the natural Freedom and spaciousness of the sky and stars all around us.

The above are all very simple focus points that, when you take the time to dwell upon them can lead you into quite deep meditation states relatively easily and quickly, it is not hard work!
 
Related reading: Finding energy through meditation – Aspects of meditating with your energy body
Meditating with the energy of trees & plants
Trees, birds & Octopuses – Achieving harmony by letting be

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing Tuesday & Wednesday’s weekly, 7.30-8.30pm – Embodied Transformation – An integrative introduction to Tantric meditation

Ongoing on Saturdays weekly, 5.30-6.15pm – Embodied Transformation – Saturday Tantric deep-dive meditation sessions

Saturday 24th May, 10.30am-12noon – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Level 1 – Friday 30th May, 8am-4pm, Level 2 – Friday 13th June, 8am-4pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to Non-Dual Meditation Practice Retreat & Course

Tuesday 17th, Weds 18th June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 21st June, 2-5pm SG time – Meditation & Mindfulness for working with your Child-self  


Follow Toby onLinkedInYouTubeInstagram

Integral Meditation Asia

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Essential Freedom – On the mindful ‘big three’ & Awakening

“Daily intention, attention, and awareness can be experienced as expressions of our essential Freedom, Love & Bliss”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article takes a creative look at how to bridge basic mindfulness & deeper states of Awakening. If you enjoy it, it will be the subject of this week’s Tuesday, Wednesday class. You would be welcome to join, either live-in-person, or online!
 
In the spirit of our essential Freedom,

 
Toby


Essential Freedom – On the mindful ‘big three’ & Awakening
 
This article weaves together the fundamentals of mindfulness practice with some essential ‘Tantric’ elements. By ‘fundamentals of mindfulness’ I mean working with our basic intention, attention, and awareness. By Tantric, I mean seeing and experiencing these three in qualities their essential, purified, or awakened form. What it offers is a space where we can explore the space between simple mindfulness and higher/deeper states of meditation presence in a way that is creative and playful.
 
The mindful big three
 
As I mentioned, your ‘mindful big three’ are intention, attention, and awareness. They are three what you might call ‘all accompanying characteristics of our everyday consciousness, meaning they are there and functioning pretty much all the time whilst we are awake and sleeping.
 
Intention is what moves us to step into action. With mindfulness we are trying to be more conscious and less automatic about our intentions, so that they become more caring, constructive, and high quality.
 
Attention is directed by our intention. If our intention is mindful, our attention will then be focused towards to where our intention channels it. We marshal our attention with our intention. High quality attention then helps us to be more effective in life, and to enjoy it more.
 
Awareness is our potential to be conscious; it is consciousness itself. Our awareness follows our attention. The energy of our consciousness awareness follows where we place our attention.
 
 
Awakened mindfulness – Freedom, love & bliss
 
So, each moment of our consciousness has these three dimensions, intention, attention, and awareness. What I want to do now is describe a visualization that enables us to relate to these three in their pure or essential form:
 
Freedom of intention – Imagine your intention as a star sitting in the center of your head/brain. It sits in the freedom of an open sky, and when you focus on it you can feel that open, spacious freedom.  Its light is the light of your conscious intention that you can use to navigate your life successfully and wisely.
 
The Heart of loving attention – See your attention as a diamond at your heart, the facets of the diamond reflecting and radiating rainbow lights around it. The rainbow diamond represents all the different ways that your attention can be directed to yourself and the world in a loving, skillful, benevolent, and compassionate manner.
 
The bliss of your Ocean of consciousness – See in your lower abdomen there is a drop of water that contains the entire ocean. This is your Blissful Ocean of consciousness, the source from which awareness comes from. If you relax into this Ocean in your belly, you can feel your consciousness becoming open, blissful & calm, like the depths of an Ocean.
 
Putting it together:
 
You can meditate on the star in your head as your essential, awakened Freedom of intention. In daily life you can use the star-image to create and stay with mindful, conscious intentions
 
You can meditate on the diamond at your heart as your essential, awakened Love. During the day you can use the diamond image to be creative with the different ways you can make your attention loving, constructive and benevolent.
 
You can meditate on the drop of water in your belly as an Ocean of Bliss-Consciousness. During the day you can be dropping into this simple, blissful state of awareness to recharge, relax and recover, before moving back into more active states of intention and attention.
 
Related readingThe holy trinity of mindfulness
Indestructible safety (On Therapeutic & Tantric mindfulness)

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing Tuesday & Wednesday’s weekly, 7.30-8.30pm – Embodied Transformation – An integrative introduction to Tantric meditation

Ongoing on Saturdays weekly, 5.30-6.15pm – Embodied Transformation – Saturday Tantric deep-dive meditation sessions

Saturday 24th May, 10.30am-12noon – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Level 1 – Friday 30th May, 8am-4pm, Level 2 – Friday 13th June, 8am-4pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to Non-Dual Meditation Practice Retreat & Course

Tuesday 17th, Weds 18th June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Meditation & Mindfulness for working with your Child-self – Workshop: Saturday 21st June, 2-5pm SG time, & 
session seriesSession 1 – Monday 23rd June, 7.30-9am (7.30-9pm Eastern time US), Session 2 – Tuesday 24th June, 7.30-9am (7.30-9pm Eastern time US)


Follow Toby onLinkedInYouTubeInstagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Indestructible safety (On Therapeutic & Tantric mindfulness)

“Tantric practices such as recognizing your indestructible-safety are all about making educated leaps of perception!”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article takes vulnerability, safety & invulnerability  as the subject. If you enjoy it, it will be the subject of this week’s Tuesday, Wednesday & Saturday class. You would be welcome to join, either live-in-person, or online!

If you enjoy the therapeutic side of the article, then do check out my therapeutic mindfulness coaching, and also the Meditation & Mindfulness for working with your Child-self  on the 21st (workshop), & 23/24 (sessions) June. On early bird up until 7th June 10% off!
 
In the spirit of the indestructibilty,

 
Toby


Indestructible safety (On Therapeutic & Tantric mindfulness)
 
Therapeutic mindfulness
 
The purpose of therapeutic mindfulness is to create a safe space for us to explore the way that our difficult past experiences impinge upon our present experience. It enables us to work trough them in a way that we increasingly experience the present moment free from the baggage of the past. In a previous article I outline six mindful positions that are useful in this regard:

  • Grounding in the senses
  • Recognizing safety
  • Warmth & compassion
  • Appreciation
  • Curiosity & courage
  • A sense of being supported

 
In this article I want to use safety as an example of how to combine therapeutic mindfulness and Tantric mindfulness. Therapeutically, recognizing and resting in safety involves acknowledging your vulnerable or fearful self, and then:

  • Recognizing that in this moment you are physically safe, there are no immanent threats to your wellbeing. Letting your body, mind, and heart rest in this space of safety, using it to feel secure and relaxed as you navigate the day
  • Creating a psychologically safe space – Consciously abstaining from attacking or negative thoughts/emotions toward yourself, so that your inner space with yourself is one that feels increasingly safe, reliable, and consistent.

 
Tantric mindfulness
 
In contrast to therapeutic mindfulness, Tantric mindfulness is about recognizing and experiencing your ‘always already’ awakened, ‘perfected’ nature in the present moment. If it can be combined with therapeutic mindfulness, then they create a wonderful and powerful team. So how can this be applied to safety? The instructions below are short and may seem quite radical, but, well, that’s Tantric practice, it is all about making ‘educated leaps of perception!’
If you relax into the stillness of your consciousness-itself in the present moment, then you will become aware of a dimension of self that is formless and timeless, Eternal, and Free. Recognizing and resting in that formless-timeless self, recognize that it is indestructible;

  • Because it was not born, it does not die
  • Because it is formless and timeless, it cannot be destroyed by anything
  • Even if the outer circumstances in your life are limiting and oppressive, this part of you is completely and radically FREE from this limitation, free from the oppression of fear, free from anxiety around uncertainty

So, you practice recognizing your formless timeless nature, recognize its nature as being indestructible safety, and identify YOU as THAT.
 
Three positions to explore combining therapeutic & Tantric mindfulness
 
So, to put these together, practice cycling through:

  • Breathing and relaxing into physical safety, dialling down your nervous systems’ emergency triggering
  • Creating a psychologically safe space for yourself to rest and regenerate yourself within
  • Based on the above two, practice recognizing your formless-timeless indestructible self, and rest in the experience of indestructible safety, both in meditation, and as much as possible in your daily life

 
This practice invites you to combine the acknowledgement of both your vulnerability, and need for safety at the same time as recognizing your indestructability. Initially this looks like a paradox, but put into practice it quickly becomes working with a complementary polarity.
 
Enjoy your indestructibility!
 
Related readingToby’s therapeutic mindfulness anthology
Therapeutic mindfulness coaching
Combining your witnessing with Tantric meditation

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing Tuesday & Wednesday’s weekly, 7.30-8.30pm – Embodied Transformation – An integrative introduction to Tantric meditation

Ongoing on Saturdays weekly, 5.30-6.15pm – Embodied Transformation – Saturday Tantric deep-dive meditation sessions

Saturday 24th May, 10.30am-12noon – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Level 1 – Friday 30th May, 8am-4pm, Level 2 – Friday 13th June, 8am-4pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to Non-Dual Meditation Practice Retreat & Course

Tuesday 17th, Weds 18th June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Meditation & Mindfulness for working with your Child-self – Workshop: Saturday 21st June, 2-5pm SG time, & 
session seriesSession 1 – Monday 23rd June, 7.30-9am (7.30-9pm Eastern time US), Session 2 – Tuesday 24th June, 7.30-9am (7.30-9pm Eastern time US)


Follow Toby onLinkedInYouTubeInstagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Enlightened love and loving Inner vision Integral Meditation Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditation techniques Motivation and scope

Two heart meditations

“When the heart truly understands, it lets go of everything”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

I hope you are enjoying your Wesak day! For those of you who may not know, Wesak is the celebration of Buddha’s ‘birthday’, and a great time to take a pause.
For those that may be interested I’ll be doing the Wesak compassion & inner visioning meditation on two occasions this week, Wednesday & Thursday 7.30pm SG time. Welcome to join online, live or via the recording!
 
This week’s article focuses on two heart meditations. If you enjoy it, you are invited to the One Heart Open Day: Heart Opening meditation with singing bowls, where I will be co-leading a Heart meditation with Jaslyn Kee, the founder of One Heart!

Underneath the article are links to a number of upcoming events, two of which are on early bird offer currently, in particular, the Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to Non-Dual Meditation Practice Retreat & Course early-bird offer ends 16th May!
 
In the spirit of the heart,

 
Toby


Two heart meditations
 
This article is mostly focused on two quotes, one from Ajahn Chia, and one from Mantak Chia. The first invites us to relate to the heart in a different way through acceptance:
 
“A Child Playing” – Ajahn Chia (From the book A Tree in the Forest, a collection of Ajahn Chia’s similes)
 
“When we have contemplated the nature of the heart many times, then we come to understand that this heart is just as it is, and can’t be otherwise. We will know that the heart’s ways are just as they are. That’s it’s nature. If we see this clearly, then we detach from thoughts and feelings. And we don’t have to add anything more if we constantly tell ourselves that “that’s just the way it is.” When the heart truly understands, it lets go of everything. Thinking and feeling will still be there, but that very thinking and feeling will be deprived of power.
It’s like at first being annoyed by a child who likes to play in ways that annoy us so much that we scold or spank him. But later we understand that it is natural for a child to play and act like that, so we leave him alone. We let go and our troubles are over. Why are they over? Because we now accept the ways of children. Our outlook has changed, and we now accept the true nature of things. We let go and our heart becomes more peaceful. We now have right understanding. “
 
The seven states of compassion within the heart energy – From ‘the Cosmic Orbit’ by Mantak Chia
 
“Tn the Tao, we believe that the (physical) heart fibres are bundled into seven layers which generate seven electromagnetic fields, and seven states of compassion energy. Listed from innermost to outermost (like layers of an onion):

  1. Love
  2. Appreciation
  3. Gratitude
  4. Thankfulness
  5. Kindness
  6. Gentleness
  7. Compassion”

 
To meditate on either of these quotes, you can start by simply breathing in and out of the heart, and getting connected to it. In the first meditation you would then simply work on accepting and working with your heart energy, with the associated mental and emotional content as it is.
With the second meditation you are focusing explicitly on the physical heart, feeling it to be radiating a field with these seven layers of compassion energy, taking time to connect and attune to each level. It’s interesting to reflect on the differences of the energy of these seven levels, they are all clearly related and interconnected, but subtly different from each other.

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing Tuesday & Wednesday’s weekly, 7.30-8.30pm – Embodied Transformation – An integrative introduction to Tantric meditation

Ongoing on Saturdays weekly, 5.30-6.15pm – Embodied Transformation – Saturday Tantric deep-dive meditation sessions

Tuesday 13th & Wednesday 14th May, 7.30-8.30pm – Wesak compassion & inner visioning meditation

Saturday 17th May, 3-4.30pm – One Heart Open Day: Heart Opening meditation with singing bowls

Saturday 24th May, 10.30am-12noon – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Level 1 – Friday 30th May, 8am-4pm, Level 2 – Friday 13th June, 8am-4pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to Non-Dual Meditation Practice Retreat & Course

Tuesday 17th, Weds 18th June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Meditation & Mindfulness for working with your Child-self – Workshop: Saturday 21st June, 2-5pm SG time, & 
session seriesSession 1 – Monday 23rd June, 7.30-9am (7.30-9pm Eastern time US), Session 2 – Tuesday 24th June, 7.30-9am (7.30-9pm Eastern time US)


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Re-awakening the Bliss of your childhood

“Reconnecting to your bliss can have a profound effect on everything else; pain is less wearing, emotional dissonance is easier to harmonize, disappointments & life’s curve-balls are easier to work with”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article takes bliss and childhood as the subject. If you enjoy it, it will be the subject of this weeks Tuesday, Wednesday & Saturday class. You would be welcome to join, either live-in-person, or online!

Quick reminder of the The Call of the Wild: Shamanic Meditations for connecting to animal guides in the inner world Masterclass & Mini-retreat over the weekend!

In the spirit of thoughtful bliss,
 
Toby


Re-awakening the Bliss of your childhood
 
When connecting to the bliss of being alive came naturally
 
When I was a young boy, I used to ‘twiddle’ my hair. This meant taking a lock of my hair between my index & middle fingers and rubbing it gently between the two. This very quicky sent me into a relaxed, semi-trance state that felt very naturally blissful. This bliss was a physical feeling in my body, not an abstract idea. When it happened, the front of my tongue would rise to the top, front of the roof of my mouth, where I would feel it ‘suck’ rhythmically, like a baby sucking on a bottle, or a breast. Twiddling my hair could go on for long periods, like in the back of a car whilst on a weekend journey. My parents literally called me ‘Toby twirl’ because of this habit, which lasted actively until my early teens.
After my early teens, I forgot about twiddling my hair for several years. But when I started practicing Qi gong, and meditating, I noticed that that familiar ‘sucking’ of my tongue on the roof of my mouth returned, along with the feeling of bliss in my body at certain times. This was something of a discovery, because once I had connected to the experience of childhood bliss, I found I could very easily go into a state of meditation by recalling the experience of twiddling my hair, and activating the feeling of blissful aliveness in my body. The bliss was/is really useful, because it makes it easy for the body-mind to relax, and to stop thinking about stuff. If you can access a state of bliss, since it is so much more pleasant to feel blissful than worried, it easy to choose feeling blissful over compulsive stress, at least for some of your day!
 
So, then I have a question for you; do you have any memories of childhood bliss, like the ‘hair-twiddling one’ that I mention above? Perhaps it was in your childhood, but it might have been later, in your teens, or a passage of your adult years. If you can find such a memory and remember it, then that can then act as the basis of your own re-awakening to bliss in the here and now.
 
Re-connecting to that cellular memory now
 
When you recall your experience of childhood (or other) bliss, what will happen is that you will activate your body’s cellular memory of it. This means you activate the feeling of the blissful memory in the body, and so actually start to experience a little bit of the bliss in the present moment. If you dwell upon that feeling now, you can grow it back to the power of it’s original state, thus bringing back the regenerative energy of bliss into your life. Just a few minutes a day of reconnecting to your bliss can have a profound effect on everything else; pain becomes less wearing, emotional dissonance is easier to harmonize, disappointments and life’s curve-balls are easier to accept and work with.
 
The bliss-work is nice to explore as a practice by itself, but there are also two further ways in which you can enhance the building of your bliss are:

  1. Combining it with core cellular breathing
  2. You can combine it with the meditation on Making yourself bigger

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Saturday 10th & Sunday 11th May – The Call of the Wild: Shamanic Meditations for connecting to animal guides in the inner world Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Starts Tuesday 6th, Wednesday 7th May, 7.30-8.30pm – Embodied Transformation – An integrative introduction to Tantric meditation

Starts Saturday, 10th May & then weekly, 5.30-6.15pm – Embodied Transformation – Saturday Tantric deep-dive meditation sessions

Tuesday 13th & Wednesday 14th May, 7.30-8.30pm – Wesak compassion & inner visioning meditation

Saturday 17th May, 3-4.30pm – One Heart Open Day: Heart Opening meditation with singing bowls

Tuesday 17th, Weds 18th June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 24th May, 10.30am-12noon – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Level 1 – Friday 30th May, 8am-4pm, Level 2 – Friday 13th June, 8am-4pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to Non-Dual Meditation Practice Retreat & Course


Follow Toby onLinkedInYouTubeInstagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Creating your inner-world meditation retreat

“Meditation can be thought of as a way of building communion with your inner world, & the resources that are available to you there”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

The article below describes meditation as a way of building communion with your inner world, & the resources that are available to you there. If you enjoy it, it will be the Topic of this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class on Trusting your truth. Your welcome to join, live or online!

The article also describes ways of learning in meditation that relate closely to the Shamanic & Tantric approaches that we will be looking at in my upcoming courses on both subjects.

In the spirit of inner-knowledge,
 
Toby


The Mindful Self-Knowledge Program with Toby – 15% off until 10th May

 The Mindful Self-Knowledge Program is something that I put together to fill the gap between the ‘Waking-up’ practices of meditation with the ‘Growing-up’ practices more traditionally associated with developmental & existential psychology…read full details



Article: Creating your inner-world meditation retreat

Intention: The function of this meditation is to create an inner world retreat, or imagined place within nature where we can simply go and ‘be’ present to and with. It functions as a threshold or ‘in-between place’ between our outer reality and the non-ordinary realities of the inner and spiritual worlds.
 
Step 1: Finding the centre of the six directions
 
Sitting comfortably, be aware of the direction in front of you and the direction behind you. Be aware of the direction to your left and to your right. Be aware of the earth beneath you, and the sky and stars above and around you. Briefly allow your awareness to explore what you know of the landscape in each of the physical directions around you.
Become aware of yourself and your body as being at the centre of the six directions, and feel this space, the centre of the six directions to be your home in the world of time and space.
As you breathe in, breathe your awareness fully into your body and the centre of the six directions. As you breathe out, release tension from your body-mind and allow yourself to become physically and mentally still.
 
Step 2 – Connecting to your inner-world retreat
 
Now focus on a conscious intention to go your own personal inner-world retreat or landscape. After a short time you will see forming around you within your inner vision a landscape within nature. It may be one that you know from your life and past history, or it may be one that is unfamiliar to you, but that forms itself clearly and intuitively. Trust what you see.
Explore the six directions of your retreat, in front, behind, to the left, to the right, below and above. Notice what time if day it seems to be. Build it as clearly as feels appropriate in your awareness, using all five senses; sight, sound, smell, taste, touch. Relax, enjoy and breathe in the healing energy of your space.
 
Step 3 – Relaxing, being, regenerating, inviting, watching the coming and going
 
Your inner-world retreat is principally a place for you to go and relax, be and regenerate your energy whilst communing with the inner-world forces of nature. Also, sometimes and if you like you can invite contact with your inner world guides, guardians and helper spirits. Having made your invitation (and sometimes when you haven’t) you may notice the presence of such guides as they come into your space from somewhere within the surrounding landscape. Sometimes they may come with a particular message, other times it may simply be to exchange companionship and company in silent communion.
 
Step 4 – Returning

Gradually see your inner-world landscape fading from your inner vision. Take a few breaths, as you inhale connect to your physical body, as you breathe out return to an awareness of your body and external surroundings. Bring the meditation to a close.

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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Three types of Big Wonderment

“The core state of philosophy is Wonderment, a state of presence, where we feel gentle awe & curiosity in the face of Life”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This Tuesday 22nd, Wednesday 23rd April, 7.30-8.30pm I’ll be starting a two part meditation series: The Wisdom of Awakening Series – Trusting your truth. If you enjoy the article on Wonderment below, it will be the subject of this weeks class, you’d be welcome to join!

This two part meditation series is also a sort of warm up for the upcoming Tues/Wednesday & Saturday Tantric meditation sessions, so do check them out!

In the spirit of the Big Wonderment, 

Toby
 



Three types of Big Wonderment
 
Wonderment, philosophy and thinking in principles
 
Philosophy might be thought of as the art of thinking in principles. Every person has a philosophy in life. However conscious or unconscious, however functional or dysfunctional, we all have a set of ideas and beliefs that act as our core navigating system, our ‘philosophy’. Part of the art of good philosophy is to examine your core beliefs about life and improve upon them, so that your inner navigating system runs on a higher quality ‘true-er, more beautiful and more-good’ set of core principles.
The challenge with philosophy is that it can quite quickly become abstract and dry, not connected to our actual life experience. One way to avoid this is to cultivate the ‘state’ of philosophy, and then think from this experiential state. The core state of philosophy is Wonderment, a state of presence, where we feel gentle awe and curiosity in the face of Life. Wonderment is a lovely state just to breathe and relax with in meditation. I have also developed it in three ways which I find help me keep my philosophy real and experiential. They are implicitly ‘Tantric’ in their approach, but can be easily cultivated by anyone.
 
Alive to wonderment – Bliss & being born from Life
 
Sink your sense of Wonderment into your lower abdomen and hips. Feel it connecting to the gentle bliss of your biological life force, and its generative energy, so that it becomes blissful wonderment. Experience yourself as being born from Life, and an expression of Life, rather than an isolated, cut off unit of life that must fight for it’s place in the life around it. When you think philosophically, think from this place of Life-full Wonderment.
 
Heart Wonderment – The magnetic Ocean of Love
 
Bring the state of Wonderment into your heart and chest, feel it connecting to the natural warmth and care that exists in that part of your body. Feel that ‘small’ love at your heart to be connected to the Ocean of Universal Love that we all exist within. In a state of Wonderment, experience yourself as that Ocean of Love, appearing as this feeling of warmth within your heart. When you think about your life, think from this place of Heart-Wonderment.
 
Mind Wonderment – The radical freedom of the Witness
 
Focus the state of Wonderment in your head and brain. Feel the Wonderment mixing with the sky life freedom of your consciousness itself. Not the thoughts but that which observes the thoughts, watching with liberated curiosity. When you reflect on your life, think from this place of Mind-Wonderment, or Freedom.
 
PHILOSOPHY
 
Before the visitor embarked upon discipleship he wanted assurance from the Master,
“Can you teach me the goal of human life?”
“I cannot.”
“Or at least its meaning?”
“I cannot.”
“Can you indicate to me the nature of death and of life beyond the grave?”
“I cannot.”
The visitor walked away in scorn. The disciples were dismayed that their Master had
been shown up in a poor light.
Said the Master soothingly, “Of what use is it to comprehend life’s nature and life’s
meaning if you have never tasted it? I’d rather you ate your pudding than speculated on
it.”
 
Maybe its possible to eat your pudding, and philosophize with Wonderment at the same time!
 
Related articlesBorn from Life
This week’s article: All you need is Love – Contemplative Non-Duality
Combining your Witnessing with Tantric meditation

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


All upcoming classes & workshops

Tuesday 22/29th, Wednesday 23/30th April, 7.30-8.30pm – The Wisdom of Awakening Series – Trusting your truth

Saturday 10th & Sunday 11th May – The Call of the Wild: Shamanic Meditations for connecting to animal guides in the inner world Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Starts Tuesday 6th, Wednesday 7th May, 7.30-8.30pm – Embodied Transformation – An integrative introduction to Tantric meditation

Starts Saturday, 10th May & then weekly, 5.30-6.15pm – Embodied Transformation – Saturday Tantric deep-dive meditation sessions

Tuesday 13th & Wednesday 14th May, 7.30-8.30pm – Wesak compassion & inner visioning meditation

Saturday 17th May, 3-4.30pm – One Heart Open Day: Heart Opening meditation with singing bowls

Tuesday 17th, Weds 18th June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation


Follow Toby onLinkedInYouTubeInstagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology