Category: Meditating on the Self

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Awakening, not over-thinking

“Growth is achieved by degrees. Enlightenment is instantaneous”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at the practice of waking-up, which is something that we can practice ‘leaping’ into anytime, anywhere. If you like the article, you are invited to come along to this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class, where we will be taking this subject as our object of meditation.

In the spirit of awakening, 

Toby

 


Awakening, not over-thinking
 
Enlightenment – Waking up to the freedom of awareness
There is a precept in soto zen that goes something like “One must not wait for awakening.” What this means is that you can touch the freedom of the present moment simply by letting go of your pre-occupations and awakening to exactly where you are. You might think of this enlightenment or awakening as having three levels. You start at level one, which even a beginner can do in a rudimentary way, and as you build confidence you work onto levels two and three.
 
Level one involves simply being fully present to an experience. It could be physical/sensory, it could be thought, or even the more subtle experience of awareness itself. You might think of it as a non-resistance to what is, an acceptance that facilitates an awakening to life in the moment.
 
Level two involves noticing that there is an observer within you, a witness that is present to whatever is there. This witness is the ‘I Am’ within you. With a bit of practice, you can not only awaken to objects of awareness in the present, but also that which is aware of the objects in the present, which is the witness, or your enlightened nature itself.
 
Level three involves insight into the not oneness and not two-ness of the object of awareness (level one) with that which witnesses the object of awareness (level two)’

  • If the witnessing awareness is like the ocean, the object of awareness is like a wave
  • If the witnessing awareness is like the sun, the object of awareness is like a light-ray from the sun

This non-one, not-two experience moves us toward a non-dual or unitive awakening in the moment.
The above three practices are methods of awakening, or ‘Waking up’, and you really just have to commit to doing it again and again, awakening to this moment of your life as best you can and ‘improving’ through practice.
 
Awakening, not over-thinking – a practical reflection
 
Over the Christmas period I travelled back to see my family, and spent almost the entire time sick with a bad flu. One of the main ways in which I worked with this in terms of enlightenment and awakening was simply practicing the three levels above:

  1. Being present to the experience as it was
  2. Being aware of my witness
  3. Resting the not-one, not-two-ness of positions one and two

This enabled me to:

  • not over-think about the ‘bad luck’ or difficulty of my situation
  • simply accept it as I found it.

As a result, I was able to minimize my pain, make the experience into a form of meditation, and endure it with a degree of patience.
Of course, I did spend some time thinking and reflecting on my experience, but (almost)) always in the context of finding mental perspectives that are useful and helpful, rather than ruminating.
 
I’ll end with a short story from Anthony De Mello entitled “Rebirth” that illustrates nicely some important ideas around awakening related to this article.
 
REBIRTH
“Make a clean break with your past and you will be enlightened,” said the ‘Master.
“I am doing that by degrees.”
“Growth is achieved by degrees. Enlightenment is instantaneous.”
Later he said, “Take the leap! You cannot cross a chasm in little jumps.”


© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Meditation classes & workshops in January 2025 with Toby:

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

From Tues 7th/Weds 8th January, 7.30-8.30pm – The Wisdom of Awakening Series – Meditation for leaping into reality

Saturday 18th January 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday, 25th January, 9.30-11.30am – Deep-dive breathing meditation masterclass

Saturday, 25th January, 5-6pm – Engaged mindfulness & meditation class – ‘Honesty, release and redirection – three levels of non-judgment’

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

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Biographical Energy Meditation Inner vision Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

Jackal or Tiger? – Creative, wise courage

“Do I want to leap like a tiger here, or listen to the voice of my wise inner jackal”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article is a ‘part 2’ from my earlier article on Are you solar or lunar?, but it also stands alone by itself. 

This week’s Tues/Weds meditation session is on “The generosity of the Bodhisattva”, which relates closely to the Tiger/Jackal theme!

Reminder of this Saturday’s Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self in the morning & Engaged mindfulness & meditation online class at 1700SG time. 

In the spirit of leaping,

Toby
 

 
Article of the week: Jackal or Tiger? – Creative, wise courage


 
I want to tell a short story, then tell a story about myself and my coaching clients that illustrates the greater awakening of both my and their creative nature.
 
Leaping like a tiger
There is a Tibetan folk story about Milarepa, who was one of their most famous ‘Yogis’ or spiritual practitioners. He is loved because his story shows how a poor, socially dis-advantaged person with many obstacles can still achieve greatness (in this case a spiritual enlightenment) in that life. The tale goes like this:
 
Milarepa was once asked by someone why he had become a hermit and recluse, rather than following his teacher Marpa’s example of being a lay meditator & practising whilst at the same time having a family, running a farm & translating text from Sanskrit to Tibetan. Milarepa replied, “If a jackal jumps where a tiger leaps, he will only break his neck!”
The inference here is that Milarepa new his limitations, & stayed within them.
 
In my early years of meditation, this was a guiding tale for me, where the mantra was basically “Know & stay within your limitations”. At a certain point in my life, when I was leaving my career as a monk, founding my own business, and generally facing a lot of uncertainty, the motto of the tale changed quite radically it went from “know your limitations” to:
 
“Sometimes you have to realize that you are the tiger, & leap!”
 
Since then, I often recall this story and, in the face of my challenges, make like a tiger!!
 
So then, that is my story. Not infrequently I meet clients who are facing big inner & outer challenges, uncertainties, intimidations etc, and I will tell them this story. Now, you might think, ha! Ok so now he is going to help them realize that they are a tiger & leap into a new, bigger life! Well, it’s a bit more nuanced than that. Often what I try and do is this:
 
“I will help them to make friends with their big, brave tiger AND their wise jackal, and get them to work together as a team”
 
In the original story, Milarepa compares himself to a jackal, which is an honest assessment of his limitations, and works wisely within them. In many (most?) other ways he was an absolute tiger, enduring any hardships, obstacles, & trials to achieve his goals. He was relentless, ambitions & single-hearted. However, when it came to this lifestyle choice, he listened wisely to the voice of his limitations, and acted accordingly.
When I have clients who come to me feeling overwhelmed, burned out or intimidated, I consider it vital for them to be able to accept and work with their overwhelmed/fearful (etc) ‘inner jackal’, working within those limitations wisely. We can then consider their ‘inner tiger,’ working to find her/him and build their strength. We also introduce them to each other, getting them to communicate around issues and help each other. Building the team of the inner jackal and tiger is fun & creative. It also empowers them to be creative in their choices on a case by case basis. In any given situation they can ask themselves the question:
 
“Do I want to leap like a tiger here, or listen to the voice of my wise inner jackal, being humbler & more strategic?”
 
This question, and having access to the energies of both jackal and tiger offers my clients a radical new range of creative options that they can deploy in order to steer themselves stably and consistently in the right direction without either:

  • Not leaping to their full potential or
  • Over-stretching and doing themselves an injury

In this way they become solar and creative in a way that contains both wisdom and courage, and the understanding of how to combine them both into a functional team!
 
A final point about mindfulness & meditation
 
One of my USP’s as an executive coach is being an expert in meditation & mindfulness, with over thirty years practice & teaching. This shows up in my coaching is as tailored mindfulness exercises that I do with a client based around the content of the session. I record this & share it with them to practise between now & the next time we meet. These exercises create a space where ‘the rubber meets the road’ so to speak. What I mean by that is the ideas covered in the session can be re-visited experientially in the exercise, thus substantially deepening the level on which the ideas can be integrated by the client. Of course mindfulness exercises are optional in the sessions, but often they do play a significant part.
 
Related articles by Toby:
Are you solar or lunar?
Leaping like a tiger
Mindful of your inner artist – Becoming sola not lunar
The role of courage in meditation
© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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Inner vision Integral Awareness Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Shadow meditation

The essence of shadow integration

Dear Toby,

The article below looks at the essence of shadow integration practice. I’m writing it as I prepare for three shadow events, firstly on Saturday 16th, 1700-1800 Singapore time: Making Pearls from Sand: Free online session on mindfully working with your shadow-self.

Following on from this are the Shadow work & Language of the shadow workshops  in the following weeks. 

You are invited to participate in your own journey of the shadow! 

Toby

Id to ego, It to I; The essence of shadow integration
 
As you may be aware, it was Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung who first coined the term ‘shadow’ as an aspect of their theories of the conscious and unconscious minds. They indicated the split that can occur between the two when parts of our personality/psychological self are repressed and banished to the unconscious mind, with the resulting phenomenon of the shadow self being a part of the result.
When Freud was asked about the essence of his method, he is famous for saying “Where the Id was the Ego shall be”. Essentially his meaning appears in translation as being our unconscious passions and desires (the Id) shall be consciously integrated into our ego-self, thus affecting a healing of the personality, and a move toward wholeness.
 
The original statement from Freud in German is “Wo Es war soll Ich werden”. In order to make it sound a bit more ‘academic’ James Strachey, Freud’s English translator translated ‘Es’ into ‘Id’, and ‘Ich’ into ‘ego’. However, as I understand, the two terms have a more common, colloquial meaning:

  • ‘Es’ is the German personal pronoun es is the English equivalent of ‘it’
  • ‘Ich’ is the German pronoun meaning ‘I’
     

So then, if you re-translate Freud’s statement you get:

“Where the it was the I shall be”

This then throws a clarifying light upon the process of shadow integration that goes something like this; Our shadow is all the primal and instinctual passions (‘bad’ and ‘good’) within us that we have pushed out of our conscious mind into our unconscious. Here they have become something that is not ‘me’ but an ‘it’, something not me, alien and threatening to myself. Shadow integration involves noticing the clues regarding what lies in my repressed unconscious, for example:

  • Repeating dreams about being chased by a monster
  • Being unusually emotionally triggered by particular types of people (Eg: aggressive, powerful or egotistic people)
  • Suffering baffling anxiety in the face of certain life circumstances

Having picked up on these clues we then work on owning and re-integrating the repressed material, making it into part of ‘me’. By doing so what was previously an ‘it’ in my unconscious becomes part of my ‘I’. This is what Freud meant when he said “Where the it was the I shall be”, and that is really the essence of shadow work.
 
De-fragmenting the self
If you can imagine how fragmented our self-sense is when lots of parts of it have become ‘its’ within our shadow unconscious, then you can also start to see how empowering and positive shadow work is. As we collect the fragmented ‘its’ and gather them back into our I, our I starts to feel strong, resilient and whole in ways that we had forgotten was possible. Our vigour and appetite for life returns, in tandem with our peace of mind and a sense of profound, relative calm.
 
Read more of Toby’s articles in the Shadow section of his blog: https://tobyouvry.com/category/shadow-meditation/


© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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Awareness and insight Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindfulness Presence and being present

Balanced self-awareness, mindful self-consciousness

“Balanced self-awareness is the foundation of most other healthy psychological capacities, so it is well worth being consistent and persistent around”

Dear <<First Name>>,

This week’s article looks at self-awareness as an object of mindfulness; why it is important to have the right type of self-awareness, and how to begin cultivating it consistently.

In the spirit of self-awareness,  

Toby
 

Balanced self-awareness, mindful self-consciousness
 
Often mindfulness is associated with increased self-awareness. Implicit in this might be the assumption that all self-awareness is good self-awareness. This is something worth noting, as it is not necessarily the case.
 
Imbalanced or neurotic self-awareness
 
Here are a few examples of ways in which self-awareness can be unhelpful and/or work against us:

  • We could be overly self- aware, in a way that is debilitating or anxiety stimulating. For example, in social situations we could be excessively concerned about what other people may be thinking of us or how we look
  • We could be self-aware with non-acceptance and neurotic intention. By this I mean we can be self-aware, but unhappy with who we are, wishing we were someone else, possessing a different physical appearance or character. This self-awareness produces conflict and discomfort
  • We can be self-aware in a very judgmental or aggressive way, obsessing about mistakes made, or ways in which we are ‘not good enough’ or a ‘fake’
  • We could be self-aware, but projecting the past and future onto the present moment, so that who and what we see is not a realistic image of the person that is actually there

In all the above cases, an element of self-awareness is present, but it is not helping us, and not enjoyable. If our habitual self-awareness is like this, then then quite naturally we are then going to try and avoid self-awareness when we can, because it is such a difficult experience. We could spend our time flip-flopping between neurotic self-awareness and desperate attempts to distract ourselves and become less self-aware!

Balanced mindful self-awareness

Here are some characteristics of what balanced self-awareness looks like:

  • To be self-aware as an observer. By this I mean that part of good self-awareness is that we are merely aware, with a healthy degree of curious objectivity.
  • To be self-aware with acceptance and kind intention. By this I mean there is a deliberate effort to be at peace with the person we are in the moment, supportive of them and not at war with them. To be supportive of ourselves means to extend a basic kind and caring intention to ourselves, making this an integral part of our basic self-consciousness
  • With compassionate judgment. Here I mean that the inner commentary that goes with our self-awareness can express discernments and judgments, but their nature is supportive and caring, consistent with the kindness and caring intention.  
  • Finally, our self-awareness should be on purpose, deliberate and in the present moment. On purpose means we are conscious of the quality of our self-awareness, making it in-line with the characteristics mentioned above. In the present means being with the self or person that we are in the here and now, rather than lost in past selves or ideas of our future selves unconsciously.

 
There are four characteristics of balanced self-awareness that I mention above. In your own practice you can take one or two of these at a time, becoming familiar with the feel of them, and making them gradually habitual and intuitive. If we can make our self-awareness balanced, then we will start to enjoy it and trust it. When this happens, it becomes natural to want to be more self-aware, because good things come of it. Balanced self-awareness is really the foundation of almost all other healthy psychological capacities, so it is well worth being consistent and persistent around!
 
Related article: What is self-awareness?
© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

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A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Meditation Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Primal Spirituality Zen Meditation

The world as an organism

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at how we can relate to the world an our environment mindfully in a way where we feel like we belong and where we can actively participate. I hope you enjoy it!

In the spirit of organismic connection, 

Toby

 

The world as an organism
 
In the Taoist and Buddhist traditions, particularly in China and Japan, the concept of the world and how it works is very ‘organismic’. By this I mean that the way the world exists is like a living organism, as opposed to say a top-down hierarchy. Rather than everything following the rule of the leader, or God, or the Queen, things kind of ‘do themselves’. For example, you don’t have to make a conscious choice to metabolize your food or regenerate your cells after every meal. Rather your body does it by itself. This is because it, and you are an organism. Taoism sees the world like that.
Many environmental movements and philosophies today have also adopted this view, relating to the Planet as ‘Gaia’, where everything is connected to everything else like cells in the body of an organism.
 
Yourself as a cell in the organism
 
So then, if the world is an organism, what is your relationship to it? The answer is something like you are born from the organism and are a natural part of it, like a cell in your body. Like the cell, you participate in the life of the organism, and your behaviour contributes to and effects the organism as a whole.
 
 
Participating in & with the organism
 
The reality is that we are already interacting with the world, like a cell on a body. However, much of this participation is currently unconscious, so we are not deriving the nourishment and fulfilment we could be by doing it consciously. Mindful participation in the world-as-organism aims to help us access that nourishment. So, what is it that we can participating in specifically?
 
Four spheres and six directions

The four spheres are Earth, Moon, Sun and stars, the basic ‘spheres’ of our world and environment. We also exist within the six directions – above, below, in front, behind, left and right. I have looked at these in some depth in a previous article.
 
Four elements & four kingdoms

Another central aspect of your environment is the four elements, earth, water, air and fire. These exist both within your body and around you in the environment.
‘Inter-being’ with the four elements are the four kingdoms; human, animal, plant, and mineral.
We share the body of our planet with the four kingdoms, and each of these contain beings (other cells in the body) that consist of the four elements in different combinations.
 
Walking or sitting participation

Go for a walk, or sit outside. Notice the different aspects of the four kingdoms and elements in the landscape. Notice how you share and exchange energy with them. For example:

  • How the air in your lungs interacts and exchanges with the sky and the atmosphere
  • How the leaves of the plants around you contain water, like your body does
  • How the warmth in your body resonates with the sun
  • How the rocks are strong and solid, like your bones
  • How some animals and plants are more airy (Like birds, obviously), some fiery, watery or earthy. Commune with them as fellow elemental beings existing like you, cells within the body of the Earth

 
You are a cell in the body of life, communing & interacting with the other cells, all expressions of the one body.
 
Related articles:
Aspects of environmental meditation
Born from Life, not into it
Integrating reality & symbolic reality


© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

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A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight Inner vision Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present Primal Spirituality

Mindfulness – Liberation through pre-psychology

“Mindful awareness builds a robust pre-psychological base, meaning the feeling or sensibility you have about yourself before you think or conceive who you are. If we get this base right, many good things follow”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article is on the effectiveness of minddful awareness as a pre-psychological base for navigating and thriving in our lives. If you enjoy it, feel free to join us for the Tuesday or Wednesday meditation class, where it will be a focus point of the meditation. 

In the spirit of awareness,

Toby


Mindfulness – Liberation through pre-psychology
 
In my previous article on the ‘holy trinity of mindfulness’ I outline the role of awareness, intention and attention in mindfulness practice. I describe them as pre-skills that, if you cultivate them will help you develop any other skill relatively quickly and easily.
In this article I want to focus on awareness and what I call its pre-psychological benefits. Again, in the previous article I define mindful awareness as:
“The choice to be consciously aware as we go through life, rather than unconscious, and to direct our conscious awareness skilfully.”
When you make the choice simply to be aware of consciousness in the present moment, there are several fundamental benefits. I want to outline some of these below, in the hope that you will feel inspired to start practicing. Specifically, I want to point out how mindful awareness builds a robust pre-psychological base for ourselves. By pre-psychological I mean the feeling or sensibility you have about yourself before you start to think or conceive who you are. If we get this base right, many good things follow!
 
Full, not empty – When we sit in awareness of the present moment, we start to feel a sense of fullness in that moment. We can then turn up to life with this feeling of fullness, which helps counterbalance the feeling of emptiness that many people feel when they think about themselves and their life.

Empty, not full – Sitting with awareness in the present moment enables us to empty of all the complex thinking and inner noise that our mind is overburdened or overfilled with. We access a sense of ‘empty’ pleasurable inner spaciousness.

Enough, not not -enough – The ‘I am not enough’ script is one of the most common ones that individuals suffer from psychologically. Training to be aware in the present gives us access to a feeling of enough-ness, a sensibility of sufficiency not insufficiency. We can learn to identify with this primary feeling, and meet life from this feeling of ‘enough’, which then becomes a sense of ‘I am enough’.

Strong, not weak – becoming more consciously aware and present leads to a sense of being more gathered and undistracted. Awareness itself is always in the present moment, so focusing upon it leads to less of our energy being dissipated by distraction and thoughts about the past or future. The result of this is a feeling or sensation of being strong in the moment, not weak, and of being centered, not off balance.

Free, not limited – In our mental and physical environment we experience all sorts of limitations,  some external, some internal. In the experience of awareness itself, there is absolute freedom. The choice to be aware is the one thing that no one can take away from us.
 
So, then the practice here is simply to practice being aware of awareness, in the present moment, noticing that when we do so a very basic primal set of pre-cognitive, non-verbal experiences become available to us. We have a sense of being:

  • Full, not empty
  • Empty, not full
  • Enough, not not -enough (sufficiency, not insufficiency)
  • Strong, not weak
  • Free, not limited

If we cultivate these, then we now have a range of pre-psychological, pre-thought building blocks that we can use as a secure base for our sense of self as we think and navigate the world from day to day. This sense of strength, fullness and freedom can accompany us more and more, as our capacity to be aware of awareness grows though our meditation and mindfulness practice.
 
Related reading: Awareness, attention, intention – The holy trinity of integral mindfulness
The freedom of awareness

​© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

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A Mind of Ease Inner vision Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

Your headless supermind

“Going headless is designed to radically cut out the internal chatter of your ego, enabling you to sit in relative silence, encountering whatever comes into you awareness without the usual inner commentary”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article focuses on an integral form that I have been using a lot myself recently. If you enjoy the article, then you are invited to this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday class where we will be exploring it in practice. 
 
In the spirit of integration,

Toby
 


Article: Your headless supermind
 
This article offers two meditation techniques, putting them together simply into one where they become mutually enhancing. It is also currently one of my own main practices, so I also thought to share it as an insight into what my own practice looks like right now. Although it is very profound, you can practice it on the level you are at and still get some big benefit pretty quickly! Here is a brief outline of the two practices:
 
Headless-ness – is a practice of imagining that you have no head. As you sit or stand, simply imagine that where your head used to be is a luminous empty space. Your head (and the strong sense of you as an ego that goes with it) is simply not there. One of the things that this is designed to do is to radically cut out the internal chatter of your ego, and enable you to sit in relative silence, encountering whatever comes into that space simply ‘as it is’, without the usual inner commentary.
The technique was originally made well known by Douglas Harding in his book On Having no Head.
 
Supermind – in this context, supermind means simply the ability to witness our life in a multi-perspectival way, and therefore to see much more than we ordinarily would by just looking at things from one or two perspectives. In my previous article on supermind I outline five main perspectives. In this article we will simplify to four, what something looks like from:

  1. Your first person ‘I/me’ space
  2. Your second person ‘we/us’ space
  3. Your third person ‘it’ space
  4. Your ‘integral perspectives’ space

 
Getting started:
 
Firstly, go headless – settle into a comfortable sitting position, relax for a few breaths, and then imagine your head dissolves away. You can see the lower half of your body, and your arms and hands, but they extend from an empty space where your head and shoulders used to be. If initially you find this a bit abstract, simply focus on relaxing your physical brain as much as you can, so that your rate of thinking drops.
 
Then practice supermind – you can either do this with whatever is coming up for you in the moment, or around a particular aspect or challenge in your life. For example, if I take a family dilemma:

  1. My first person ‘I/me’ space – how I am thinking, feeling, and experiencing the situation?
  2. Your second person ‘we/us’ space – how/what the other family members may be experiencing
  3. Your third person ‘it’ space – Viewing the situation as an outsider, an observer or a ‘fly on the wall’ or scientific-objective perspective
  4. Your ‘integral perspectives’ space – put the three above perspectives into a whole, or a totality, where the information from each are interacting and complementing each other

You can also add another perspective or two to the mix if you like. I always like to ask “what is good about this situation?” As a way of bringing a positive spin to my experience. With these 4/5 perspectives, you feel as if you are experiencing the situation and/or yourself in a way that is multi-perspectival, integrated, more complete. This is what we mean by supermind.

Back to headlessness – From your supermind position, then go back to experiencing the situation, but now as a headless person. This means just placing the different elements of the situation into a space where there is no ‘experiencer’, you just let things appear as they are, as if they were doing themselves.
 
This dual approach is designed to:

  • Let you drop out of personal perceptions and experience things as they are through headlessness
  • When considering things as a self-in-the-world, creating a rich , multi-perspectival approach, rather than just being stuck in a monosyllabic I-space all the time

A finishing question for you: What is the difference between the ‘things as they are’ perspective of headlessness, and the above mentioned ‘fly on the wall’ perspective of a third person ‘it’ space?

 
Related article: Mindfully enhancing your psychological development
 
Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming meditation sessions & workshops with Toby 


Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing – Exploring your hidden maps of consciousness –mindfulness meditation for growing up

Tues 18th/Weds 19th June – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass – Saturday 22nd June, 2-4pm

Wednesday 26th June, 7.30-8.15pm – Free event: Wisdom of Awakening meditation webinar

Starts Tues /Weds 25th & 26th June, 7.30-8.30pm – The Wisdom of Awakening Series:  Meditations for cultivating your inner guidance & guru

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Individualism, Self-esteem, Universal love – Aspects of rational mindfulness

“Practice looking at your experiences as an observer, like you were a fly on the wall. It gives you space between you and your life, & access to the creative ideas & solutions that suggest themselves when you observe consistently in this way”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

I think of the “rational mindfulness” described below as the lynch-pin between lower & higher stages of consciousness. If you are good at it, it holds together all of the other parts of your consciousness in a benevolent, stable manner. I hope you enjoy it! If you do it will be the subject of this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday class practice.

Heads up for the Wesak Class  next week, 21st & 22nd May, & the Awakening to benevolence & compassion mini-retreat on Saturday the 25th.

Also, I’ve just posted the Stress transformation & Emotional intelligence  workshops for June.

In the spirit of the fly on the wall,

Toby

Individualism, Self-esteem, Universal love – Aspects of rational mindfulness
 
As we grow into our teenage years, if we grow psychologically in a balanced way, we should find the emergence of a third person, or rational-objective perspective starts to emerge. Whereas previously it was all ‘me’, ’mine’, ‘yours’ and ‘ours’, we can now practice standing outside a personal, subjective view. We can consider events and experiences objectively, making assessments based upon that. Several transformations and capabilities come from this. If we can apply them to our sense of self and who we are in the world, then we become a ‘rational’ person in the holistic sense of the world, which is a beautiful thing. What I have done below is list a few of the capabilities of the rational self, with some suggestions regarding how they can be practiced.
 
Being a fly on the wall – Practice looking at yourself and your experiences as an observer, like you were a fly on the wall. This takes you out of your subjective view and into a third person, objective view. Holding this non-judgmental ‘observer position is really the essential mindfulness practice. Doing it gives you space between you and your life, and access to the creative ideas and solutions that suggest themselves when you observe consistently in this way.
 
Goal setting – Thinking about your goals, picturing them in your mind and then working consistently to realize them is a core rational-objective mindful capability. It enables you to move beyond ‘how you feel’ at any given time, and keep on moving forward, gently, and consistently. This can be practised on a daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and yearly basis.
 
Compartmentalizing – This practice enables you to separate out the different activities in your life and their attending emotions from each other, so that you can work on each one descreetly at different times. This means that you avoid one activity or emotion from let’s say your personal life interfering with your work life, and vice-versa. This is difficult to do without being able to step back and consider your life objectively.
 
World-centric love and compassion – When you step back and consider yourself and others objectively, you can see that there are many commonalities that we share with all humans and living creatures, and that all of us have basic value and worth. Based upon this objective position, we can develop an even-minded consideration and benevolence for all the people we meet, regardless of whether we know them personally or not. Practiced in this way, rational mindfulness can lead to an explosion of our sense of love and compassion for the world.
 
Individualism and self-esteem – When we stand back from ourselves, we can assess ourself as having a value as an individual, and start to articulate our own goals regarding happiness and fulfilment. We can then take pride in developing our capacity to move toward those goals effectively, and build a good life. This in turn gives us a further sense of self-esteem. Not only this, but we can then take joy in encouraging others to see their own inherent value, and encouraging them to grow and express themselves as individuals.
 
So, whenever you engage in any of these activities, you are helping to develop your holistic rational, third person capacity. Practice them all together and you can grow it in an integrated and balanced manner!

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present

New Therapeutic Mindfulness coaching service & reading anthology

Dear Integral Meditators,

From September thru December 2023 I facilitated a course called “Re-discovering your inner vitality & joie-de-vivre – An introduction to integrative therapeutic mindfulness & meditation”.

I am now offering it as a 1:1 coaching service, which can also be facilitated in a group coaching context. You can read about the coaching & training by following the link above. Essentially the question it seeks to answer is “How can we re-work our relationship to the past in a way that helps us to see the present & future with clarity, enthusiasm & vision?”

I have also created this ‘Therapeutic mindfulness reading page’ which is an anthology of all the articles that I wrote during that time. You can find these summarized below, with links to each article.

The recordings of the original course are also available as an online course, if you are interested in that then just drop an email to info@tobyouvry.com

In the spirit of re-awakening inner joy,

Toby

Therapeutic Mindfulness Article Anthology

Creating an inner therapeutic mindfulness space – six positions

“The purpose of therapeutic mindfulness is to go back to previous stages in our development in order to reconnect to feelings, emotions, body sensations & memories that we have repressed, denied, or lost touch with. The healthy re-integration of these experiences sets the scene for a renewed sense of wellbeing within our present life, & for safely engaging in higher, deeper levels of personal growth.”

Mindfulness of mood & atmosphere of your life-story

“You might think about your inner mood as being like the weather. If you are playing a game of tennis in a sunny, lightly breezy day, its completely different from playing it on a rainy, very windy day. We can usually shift ourself at least partially toward a better mood if we try, and this then affects everything for the better”

The projector behind you – How the past interweaves your present & future

“Past-focused mindfulness involves delving consciously into past memory & narratives, releasing pent-up energy, and then gently reworking these stories to create a more optimistic and energized outlook“

Progressively recovering your joie de vivre (Meditating with your inner child)

“If you are prepared to do the work, it seems there truly are no edges to your level of inner joy”

Meditating with your teenage-self

“The ‘teenage self’ is one of several aspects of our inner-self or psyche that, if we take the time to connect to, we can find ourselves being enriched. For example, if I am well connected to my inner teenager, then I can draw upon his innate curiosity, ambition and appetite for life in a way that other middle-aged folk who lack a vital connection to their inner teenager cannot!”

Suppression & repression – the difference, & it’s importance

“Suppression can be used positively and strategically to enhance our effectiveness and wellbeing in life, whereas repression almost always results in long term inner turbulence and interference in our ability to see and work with our present life as it is”

Re-working your ego by expanding your self-concept (AKA: Van Halen therapy)

“In a situation where your self-concept doesn’t believe you can meet & solve a challenge, you can do one of two things. You can give up, or you can change your idea of yourself, making it one that can work with what is presenting”

Transcending & including – Integrating the big & the small selves

“As you grow & mature, if you repress your previous selves, they can become ‘allergies’. If part of you remains trapped within them, they become ‘addictions.  Transcending & including means to grow beyond who you were, whilst still giving your previous self a seat at the table”

 All content © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindfulness Presence and being present

From fusion to Supermind – The journey of developmental mindfulness

“Supermind is a stage and structure of consciousness that has to be earned, step by step. This is different from simply a ‘Big-mind’, or non-dual awakened state that we can have in meditation, but that can occur at any stage in our inner growth”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at growing your perspective taking capacity through mindfulness. Essentially it explores 5 perspectives:

  1. Your first person ‘I/me’ space
  2. Your second person ‘we/us’ space
  3. Your third person ‘it’ space
  4. Your fourth person ‘self-as-the world’ space
  5. Your fifth person ‘integral perspectives’ space

Growing all these together within you gives what Ken Wilber describes as ‘Supermind’. If you enjoy the article, then do consider joining us for the Exploring your hidden maps of consciousness –mindfulness meditation for growing up course that starts this week!

In the spirit of the journey,

Toby

From fusion to Supermind – The journey of developmental mindfulness

The journey from fusion to ‘Supermind’ is essentially a journey of perspective taking. It is the journey of going from being a baby to a fully developed and integrated human being. A main goal of mindfulness in this developmental sense is to stimulate our growth along that journey, making more and more perspectives functionally available to us as time goes by.

The stages & perspectives of consciousness that we journey along are essentially 1st to 5th person perspectives, and from egocentric, to ethnocentric to worldcentric, to universal/Kosmocentric. Here is a very summary in seven stages:

Egocentric, 1st person, ‘I/me’:

Note with egocentric these are essentially childhood stages, but adults can and do regularly regress to these stages in their daily life.

Level 1 – Archaic/fusion – Our first year of life is spent like this, largely fused perceptually with our physical and emotional environment, reactive to very basic needs, hunger, thirst, warmth, cold etc…

Level 2 – Tribal fantastical – Fantasy wish fulfilment emerges 18months to 3 years old: Superstitions or magical thinking within self, being incredibly special & unique, the world revolves around me (hence the ‘terrible twos!’ etc…).

Level 3 – Mythic fantasy – 4-7 years old – Often termed ‘self-protective, ‘security’, ‘power’ or opportunistic’ level. Self-centred desires for power & control.

Ethnocentric, 2nd person ‘we/us’

Level 4 – Mythic membership – 7-12 years, but still a dominant perspective in many adults lives today. “Belonging-ness” (to groups, family, race, religion etc…) stage. The shift from me focused to we/us focused, or group focused. Strict conformity to the rules. Them vs us. 

Worldcentric, 3rd person, ‘it’

Level 5 – Rational/scientific – The emergence of an objective, 3rd person ‘rational’ perspective, capacity to care for all of humankind, even if not part of our ‘group’. The emergence of true individuality, self-esteem, and goal/achievement focus.

Universal, 4th person

Level 6 – Pluralistic – The ability to take a 1st and 2nd person ‘I/we/’ perspective on our 3rd person rational/worldcentric perspective, resulting in a capacity for deep compassion and empathy for all living beings and the world.

Integral, 5th person

Level 7 – Integral – The ability to:

  1. Take an objective perspective on our 4th person pluralistic perspective, resulting in ‘Universal objective subjectivity’ (!)
  2. Take all the previous developmental stages along with their perspectives (1-6), and ‘transcend and include’ them – Each has their place honoured in the overall picture, but none are identified with exclusively. They function together in an integrated and ‘whole’ way, like a healthy organism.

This integral level of perspective taking is what is referred to as ‘Supermind’. Supermind is a stage and structure of consciousness, which is different from simply a ‘Big-mind’, or non-dual awakened state that we can have in meditation, but that can occur at any of the developmental stages mentioned above.

So then, the interesting thing about this list is, at the moment, all of us have main ‘centre of gravity’ at one of these stages. By practising mindfulness around each of them we can:

  • Unearth the hidden maps of consciousness within us
  • Note which stage we are at, and how that changes or varies in different situations in our life
  • Observe or ‘videotape’ the level you are at in mindfulness meditation in order to transcend & include it, and encourage movement to the next level*

You can then observe your current the lower and higher levels of development within you, ‘cleaning up’ the lower levels that you sometimes notice yourself regressing to, and opening to the higher stages by becoming familiar with what they are and how they function.

Related articles: Your primal self as your object of mindfulness

Transcending & including – Integrating the big & the small selves

*Three named terms in this paragraph from Ken Wilber’s ‘Integral Meditation’ book.

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday/Wednesday evening 9/10th April – Exploring your hidden maps of consciousness –mindfulness meditation for growing up

Saturday & Sunday April 20th & 21st – Integral Meditation 1.5 Day Retreat

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology