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Goodwill as your object of mindfulness

Dear Integral Meditators,

How much more warmth, benevolence & emotional richness can you bring into your life through simple acts of attention? The answer is a lot, as I explore in the article on goodwill below…

In the spirit of warm attention,

Toby


Goodwill as your object of mindfulness

With all the anxiety and uncertainty that we face today, in conjunction with our minds tendency to exaggerate the problems that we face at the expense of the good things, it can seem that the world and people around us are a little short of goodwill. One of the things that I have been working with over the last week or so is really trying to notice and appreciate the goodwill that comes my way during the day from different people and sources. As I have continued in this practice, it has really struck me how much goodwill there is around me, and how nice it feels to really note it and enjoy it when it happens.

For example, if I look back over the last day or so:

  • I am aware of the goodwill expressed toward me from the students in the two mindfulness classes I have taken
  • I am aware of the goodwill extended to me by the barman who served me a drink this evening, and by the friend I met
  • I am aware of the goodwill extended to me by my neighbours and colleagues, helping me out with some minor menial tasks
  • I notice the almost continual and explicit goodwill coming from my family members
  • I appreciate the time and effort some acquaintances have taken to extend a welcome to my daughter and I and include us in their social circle
  • I appreciated the goodwill a shop assistant extended to me selling me a hard drive for my computer at the sale price, even though technically the sale date had gone past already
  • I noticed the incidental smile and goodwill of the bus driver as he re-opened the door when he saw me running for the bus.
  • I note the professional help and endorsement that I have received from colleagues, helping introduce me to new clients

The abundance of goodwill
When I focus in this way it seems like there is really a huge abundance of goodwill being directed at me by a large number of people. Much of this is easy to miss because it is so regular and everyday; it is just normal. But then if its normal then it means I have a huge amount of goodwill to tap into each day right?

Spreading the goodwill
Having been mindful of the goodwill I am receiving each day, I start to feel like I have something of a surplus of goodwill. So then perhaps I can start spreading it around to other people I meet, give it to them with a smile or a small act, or a bigger act. I can choose to be a source of goodwill almost as an act of gratitude for all the goodwill that I objectively and genuinely receive each day from others.

Does this practice of mindfully noticing, receiving and then giving goodwill sound like fun? Give it a go and find out!

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings from November, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Saturday 4th March, 10am-5pm – Meditation from the Perspective of Shamanism Level 2 – Deeper into the Shamanic journey

Saturday 11th March 2-5.30pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels & for Self-Healing – A 3.5 hour workshop

Tues&Wed, 21st&22nd of March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring equinox balancing & renewing meditation


Integral Meditation Asia

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Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation

The what, why & how of mindful attention

Dear Integral Meditators,

What happens when you start to pay attention to the way in which you are paying attention? The articles below explores this topic!

In the spirit of mindful attention,

Toby


The what, why & how of mindful attention 

Mindfulness can be thought of as essentially a form or attention training. By improving the way in which you pay attention to the different elements of your life you can improve the quality of your experience and the intelligence with which you interact with what you meet.
One simple but profound way of being mindful is to ‘pay attention to the way in which you are paying attention’. This can be broken down into three stages; the what, the why and the how.

The what – this first stage involves asking yourself the question ‘What am I paying attention to in this moment?’ It involves taking a step back and watching your mind, observing the movement of your attention, without interfering or trying to alter what you experience. You will observe that your attention focuses on things in a certain way, and often with a certain inner commentary with regard to what you are focused on.

The why – the second stage involves reflecting upon the question ‘Why am I focusing upon this object in this particular way?’ For example:

  • My own body with distaste
  • This future event with anxiety
  • This other person with longing

Try and understand the motivations and habits behind the way in which you are focusing on things at any given time. At this stage you are emphasizing observation, curiosity and the quest to understand, rather than to change anything.

The how – the final stage of being mindful of attention is to as yourself ‘How can I improve my experience in this moment by adjusting the way in which I am paying attention? To continue with the three examples above:

  • Is it possible to pay attention to my body with less judgment and more gentleness?
  • Could the future event be exciting or pleasant to think about if I adjust the way in which I pay attention to it?
  • Is longing an optimal way of focusing on this person, or could I replace it with curiosity, openness and/or liking?

It may be that you are happy with the way in which you are focused upon your object, but quite often if we have done stages one and two, we will naturally become aware of (often quite small) adjustments that we can make in our attention that will improve and optimize our experience.
Quite often stages two and three of the mindfulness of attention practice will start to happen quite organically as a consequence of the first practice of ‘what am I paying attention to in this moment?’.
You can do this as an actual sitting meditation practice, or you can just come back to these questions regularly in your daily life in order to improve both your awareness of attention, and the way in which you apply it.

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings from November, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Tuesday 7th February & Wednesday 8th February – Lunar new year meditation 2017: Tapping into the confidence, motivation & honesty of the Rooster

Friday 24th February, 7.30pm – TGIF meditation & meal: Nourish your body mind & soul at Oneheart!

Saturday 25th February, 10am-5pm – An Introduction to Meditation from the Perspective of Shamanism

Saturday 4th March, 10am-5pm – Meditation from the Perspective of Shamanism Level 2 – Deeper into the Shamanic journey


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * BooksLive Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Enlightened love and loving Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present spiritual intelligence

Breaking the cycle of negative stress with compassion

Dear Integral Meditators,

What is the relationship between your stress and your compassion? If you brought a bit more mindful compassion to bear upon your stress, what might change? The article below explores these questions. Enjoy!

In the spirit of compassion,

Toby

PS: If you are in Singapore we shall be doing a class on compassion tomorrow, Wednesday evening.


Breaking the cycle of negative stress with compassion

Compassion happens when caring attention comes together with the awareness of suffering or pain; for example, when we see someone we care about and they are in pain, the empathy that we have for their pain, and the wish we may have to ease or remove their pain is compassion.

The cycle of negative stress
Quite often when we are under stress we withdraw our awareness, care and compassion in an attempt to escape from the discomfort that arises from the stress. This often happens in our relationship to ourself, for example:
When our body is fatigued, instead of extending compassion to our body, we distract our attention from the fatigue of our body in order to try and escape our pain. Unfortunately, by withdrawing our awareness and disconnecting from our body we deny it the opportunity to recover and heal, and we also further deplete our physical energy through the act of distraction (surfing our phone or such like). This in turn makes our body more tired, which in turn gives rise to more fatigue, which in turn accentuates our stress.
When we experience emotional discomfort, instead of extending care and compassion to the feeling, we instead withdraw attention from it or deny, hoping that it will go away. By doing so often we find ourselves wasting energy trying to distract ourselves from the emotion we are feeling, and over time it simply gets worse.

Keeping the door open to compassion, breaking the cycle of negative stress.
In the two examples above we can change our experience of the stress cycle we experience by extending compassion to what we expereince. For example:

  • When we feel physical fatigue we can extend awareness to the tiredness in our body, giving it compassion and care. We can learn that by doing so we can release some of the fatigue and invite fresh energy into that area of the body, breaking the cycle of negative stress.
  • When we experience uncomfortable emotions, instead of running away from them we can extend awareness, care and compassion to them. By doing so we can start to look after them properly, experiencing them mindfully, and allowing them to be released. In this way we can disrupt our cycle of habitual negative emotional stress, and emerge into a new space of greater emotional intelligence and resilience.

Practice: Keeping the door of compassion open
Whenever you notice a tendency or impulse to withdraw attention from yourself or others due to stress or pain, see of you can keep the door to compassion open in your mind and body, even if it is only just a little. Observe how this starts to change your relationship to stress and disrupt the negative cycles of physical and psychological tension that you habitually become trapped in.

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings from November, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Tuesday 7th February & Wednesday 8th February – Lunar new year meditation 2017: Tapping into the confidence, motivation & honesty of the Rooster

Friday 24th February, 7.30pm – TGIF meditation & meal: Nourish your body mind & soul at Oneheart!

Saturday 25th February, 10am-5pm – An Introduction to Meditation from the Perspective of Shamanism

Saturday 4th March, 10am-5pm – Meditation from the Perspective of Shamanism Level 2 – Deeper into the Shamanic journey


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * BooksLive Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Concentration Integral Meditation Meditation techniques Mindful Breathing Mindfulness Presence and being present

The spectrum of mindful attention

Dear Integral Meditators,

Not all mindful states require the same level or type of focus. If you understand how you can vary the intensity of your mindful state, you can be more effective in applying it to your daily life. The article below explores how…

In the spirit of mindful focus,

Toby


The spectrum of mindful attention 

The state of ‘being mindful’ exists upon a spectrum, from highly intense and focused to very relaxed almost to the point of sleep.
If we understand this, we can cultivate a level of mindfulness that is appropriate to the task at hand, and that serves our needs most effectively. For example:
High focus & intensity – Emailing at speed, playing a competitive sport, or making a business deal (particularly with unknown or unproven partners).
Low intensity – Relaxing and thinking as little as possible when commuting home, when trying to fall asleep, or when we have woken up at night and wish to fall asleep again
Medium intensity (balanced between focus and relaxation) – going for an evening walk or hiking, having dinner with a date, relaxing and watching a movie or documentary.

A useful question you can ask yourself before doing something is: ‘What is the level of mindful focus that is most appropriate for the task or activity I have ahead of me?’ Your answer then enables you to calibrate your level of focus appropriately.

Other useful questions to explore might be:
What are the times when I have experienced intense focus in the past? What did it feel like? 
What are the times when I have felt completely relaxed in the past? Can I bring a part of that relaxation in to my body in this moment?

Experimenting with the spectrum of mindful focus in your own meditation practice. 
The below exercise is based around a twelve minute timeline, but you can adjust it to a length that suits you.

  • Set up a simple mindful flow pattern; 3-5 breaths focusing on the breathing, then relax your body for a few moments, then repeat the pattern alternating between focusing on the breathing and relaxing the body in an ongoing cycle.
  • For the first three minutes of the meditation, really emphasize building clear sharp focus on the breathing and the body, as clear and sharp as possible. Then, for the next three minutes, keeping to the same pattern of 3-5 breaths/relaxing the body, make the process as relaxed as possible, moving toward (but not entering into) a sleep state.
  • For the second half of the meditation, spend the first three minutes moving back towards intense, clear focus, and then for the final three minutes emphasizing relaxation.

The idea here is to develop the skill of moving consciously back and forth along the spectrum of attention, from single pointed focus to less focused relaxation and back again. This in turn will enable you to bring an appropriate, balanced attention your different daily activities according to what is needed.

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings from November, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Tuesday 7th February & Wednesday 8th February – Lunar new year meditation 2017: Tapping into the confidence, motivation & honesty of the Rooster

Saturday 4th February, 2-5.30pm – The six Qi gong healing sounds: Qi gong for self-healing & inner balance workshop

Friday 24th February, 7.30pm – TGIF meditation & meal: Nourish your body mind & soul at Oneheart!

Saturday 25th February, 10am-5pm – An Introduction to Meditation from the Perspective of Shamanism

Saturday 4th March, 10am-5pm – Meditation from the Perspective of Shamanism Level 2 – Deeper into the Shamanic journey


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * BooksLive Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology