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Time – a holograph from Eternity

“Time is a holograph from Eternity”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article outlines a way of relating to time in a radically different way how we usually do, offering a way to a space of peace and centred-ness wherever you find yourself. 

If you enjoy the article, then you are welcome to join the Tuesday & Wednesday, as well as the Saturday sessions this week, where we will be working with this meditation directly.

In the spirit of unity in diversity, 

Toby



Time – a holograph from Eternity
 
The Eternal Now
 
Tibetan Dzogchen meditation is one of several of the non-dual meditation schools to emphasize that time is an illusion. An illusion in the sense that, it appears that we move from a ‘real’ past, to a ‘real’ present, to a ‘real’ future in a linear, consecutive fashion. For them it is only the Now moment that exists. You can start to see through the illusion of time by challenging yourself to get out of this current present moment.

  • You think about the past and what happened there, but wait, that thought about the past is happening Now, right here!
  • You project yourself into the future, thinking intensely about an outcome, you see it with crystal clarity. But where is that thought about the future? It is right here, Now
  • When the past or future event you are thinking of happened/happens, were will it happen? Of course, in the Now
  • You can distract yourself from something that you find uncomfortable in the present by taking your attention away from the thing that is there, but where is that distraction? Once again, the distraction is occurring in the Now moment

 
All confusion and suffering from this perspective comes from the seeking mind, trying to find fulfilment outside the now, rather than recognising that you have already arrived. Where? In the Eternal, always already Present, where you have always been and always will be. By collapsing the illusion of linear time in to the Eternal Present, we contact the Unitive or Non-Dual condition of reality that underlies all the surface change.
 
Holographs from Eternity
 
Imagine you have a many faceted diamond at your heart, radiating rainbow lights out around you. If you go inside that diamond, you find a space that is Just This, the place of the Eternal Now. It is formless, size-less, time-less. You feel like when you are in this space that you are in a place that is infinitely small and infinitely big, all embracing, Unitive.
 
Sitting within your physical body, with the diamond at your heart, you see that the diamond is projecting time and space around you, just like a holographic projector. It projects the three-dimensional world all around you, with the appearance of time and space. It also projects your inner space, the space of your mind with thoughts, memories, images and emotions. From the space of the eternal Now, the illusory world of time and space arises around you, like a rainbow appearing in the sky.
 
As you watch and observe the holographic world around you, you can clearly see and feel that it is the dance of the Eternal now; arising from it, not separate from it, the illusion of multiplicity arising from our own singular, formless, timeless consciousness.
 
I’ve gone into the details of time and timelessness quite extensively in other articles, in this one I wanted to try and paint a picture that you can use and explore in meditation, one that if you can get your imagination behind, then you can really start to get a feeling for the Eternal Now as a gateway to the Non-Dual state. The Non-Dual state that it accesses is not one (like most other meditations) where you shift from an every-day state to a deeper meditative state. Rather it is a way of recognizing what is already Here, Now, whatever state of mind that you might find yourself in. Like other Non-Dual meditations this offers a way of integrating daily life and spiritual life into a mutually coherent, complementary whole.
 
Related articles: Dancing between time & eternity
Four Types of Present Moment


© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.co

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Biographical Energy Meditation Greenworld Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Motivation and scope Presence and being present Primal Spirituality

Why meditate on & with animals?

“When meditating with animals, people often remark that their sense of time seems to take on a completely different quality”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article looks at the subject of meditating with animals, which humans have been doing since the practice of meditation began!

If you enjoy the article, then do have a look at the upcoming Masterclass, mini-retreat & class series that I will be doing on this subject, starting in May….

No classes this week, I’m off to lead a retreat in Australia for a week and commune with the land, nature, and of course the animals!

In the spirit of reconnection, 

Toby

 



Why meditate on & with animals?
 

I was asked the other day why I continue to guide workshops and classes on meditating with animals, given that to some of my client group it may seem a bit ‘strange’. Here are a few reasons to consider why meditating with animals is of great value, with a short practice at the end to try it out…

We’ve been doing it a long time

Prior to the transcendent spiritual traditions of Buddhism and Hinduism in the ‘east’ and Christianity/Islam in the ‘west’, human beings practiced an earth based spirituality where communion, learning and interaction with animals in the inner and outer worlds was a main part of our path to awakening and enlightenment. Our ability to do this type of meditation is long forgotten, but it is in our ‘dna’ so to speak, so most people find they can do it and have significant experiences without too much difficulty.

It re-connects us to parts of ourselves we have lost touch with

Meditating with animals connects us with our animal and instinctive nature in a benevolent way. It encourages us to use our imagination and capacity for inner visioning, and it encourages us to learn in a right brain creative, intuitive and visual way, very different from the way most of us use our minds and brains during the day.

Read full original article…

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.co


Saturday 2nd & Sunday 3rd May – The Call of the Wild: Shamanic Meditations for connecting to animal guides in the inner world Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Learn Shamanic meditation practices for connecting to animal guides in the inner world, & the energies of nature.
These sessions focus on how to re-discover and deepen your inner and outer connection to the animal kingdom as well as stimulate your inner growth and personal wellbeing though meditating with animal guides and familiars…read full details



Starts Tues 6th, Wednesday 7th May7.30-8.30pm – Shamanic meditations for connecting to your animal guides & familiars

Overview: This is a series of 9 classes where we tap into the ancient tradition of Nature Mysticism in general & Shamanic meditation in particular in order to:

  • Learn traditional meditation methods adapted for a contemporary time & age
  • Connect with animal guides in the spirit world to receive their gifts and guidance of wisdom, healing & power

Read full details…


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Making yourself bigger

“Whatever us going on in the small temporal experience you are having right now, you are bigger than it, and it is workable”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article looks at the scale of who you think you are, and suggests some mindful ways to change the balance in a positive way!

If you enjoy the article, we will be meditating on this topic in both the  Tues/Weds class  and the Saturday deep-dive sessions. I invite you to join us either live, online or via the recording.

In the spirit of bigger (in this case) being better, 

Toby

 



Making yourself bigger
 
The feeling of oppressed
 
Whenever we feel, if you observe the experience of being stressed, scared or overwhelmed, it is often something like:

  • My body feels contracted in on itself, reduced. My sense of ‘I’ follows this
  • The challenge feels LARGE, much bigger than mee, like a tall building or monster towering over you
  • A sense of being weak or helpless in the face of this massively larger, more powerful force

 
This feeling then makes not just the presenting challenge more difficult, but everything that happens to you. Life feels like a struggle, a trap, something that you are a victim of.
 
Working with scale
 
About eight years ago I had an experience sitting in meditation where I felt my body was not just a small body sitting in my room, but large, as big, bigger than the apartment block. It was as if I was sitting in the landscape like a large building, looking down upon everything. Along with this literal feeling was an experience of feeling stronger, more powerful in relation to my life. It changed my sense of how I existed in relation to my challenges, in relation to what was possible. As well as power, there was a feeling of calm confidence.
I stayed with this feeling for several weeks, letting it become a part of my foundational way of going and being, I had literally become bigger!
 
Beyond psychology
 
The Yogachara school of Buddhism asserts that all our internal problems come from a mistaken sense of self. We perceive ourself as a small being, inside our skin, with a separate, foreign world outside of us. In reality, it asserts, our True Self, or Self-as-Consciousness is infinite and boundless. As this infinite and boundless self, we are not in the world, the world is in us! We are as huge infinite and boundless as consciousness itself!
By engaging in some simple Yogachara-ic ‘mindful shifts’ we can achieve some quite remarkable changes in our experience, I’m placing a few below.
 
Some mindful positions on Bigness
 
Sitting in meditation, walking, or otherwise in a state where you can settle into a mindful condition, use the following simple sentences as anchors for exploration:

  • I am not in my body, my body is in me (as a boundless, timeless consciousness)
  • I am not in the room, the room is in me
  • I am not walking/sitting in this landscape, the landscape is in me
  • I am not on the Earth, the planet is in me
  • I am not within the orbit of the moon, the Lunar sphere is within me
  • I am not within the Sun & solar system (Galaxy, Universe, whole of Creation), they are within me
  • I am not in life, life is within me, I am Life

Everything is happening within you, within your boundless Body, Mind and Heart. Whatever us going on in the small temporal experience you are having right now, you are bigger than it, and it is workable.
 
Related reading:
Non-Dual meditation & Organismic reality
Making yourself big
Connecting to Your Big Mind (Is the Mind in the Body or the Body in the Mind?)
Born from Life, not into it
Small Focused Mind, Big Open Mind


© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.co


All upcoming classes & workshops
 

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Starts Tues 11th, Weds 12th February, 7.30-8.30 pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to non-dual meditation practice

Begins Saturday 15th February – Freedom & Fullness deep-dive non-dual meditation sessions

Tues 18th, Weds 19th March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation


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Mirror mind meditation

Dear Integral Meditators, 

The meditation below is one I have been using a lot recently, its great for developing both witnessing forms of meditation and as a gateway to non-dual experience. If you enjoy it, I invite you along to both of these programs: 

Tues/Weds class series starting this week Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to non-dual meditation practice, and the deep-dive non-dual meditation sessions beginning on Saturdays.

First session is on the mirror mind!

In the spirit of the reflecting, 

Toby

Mirror mind meditation
 
Context for the meditation

Mirror mind meditation is a way of developing competency in two particular domains; witnessing meditation and non-dual meditation. These two types of meditation are characterized by the fact that these two states of consciousness are always present, so the technique is really all about learning to recognize them, and then drop into them resting in this recognition.
In a certain way you could say that witnessing and non-dual meditation are the deepest and most profound meditations you can do. But the nice thing about them, and the mirror mind method is that even if you are a beginner, you can get a good experience by doing them. You can meet them on the level that you are at and have a good result!

The technique

Sitting comfortably, start by centring yourself in the present moment. Begin to notice what is coming and going within your field of awareness:

  • On the sensory level in terms of environmental sounds and feelings within the body
  • On the level of mind in terms of thoughts, images, memories and their attendant emotions and moods
  • The spaces or gaps where you are simply ‘aware of awareness’

As you observe, notice the part of you that is observing or witnessing what is coming and going. Be this witness observer, noticing that when centred in it, you drop into a space of ‘merely observing’, or bare attention.

Now imagine your observer is a mirror sitting within your heart space (middle of chest). I sometimes like to visualise it as one of those silver, reflective disco balls. All it does is reflect back what it sees, exactly like a mirror. It doesn’t:

  • Interpret
  • Comment on
  • Identify or dis-identify with
  • Or name

any of what it sees. It simply accepts it, like a mirror reflecting whatever is in front of it. The totality of all that comes and goes within your awareness is simply accepted, mirrored. Nothing more nothing less.
So, you just drop into this mirror mind state, witnessing and reflecting that which arises. Whether your awareness is sensory, thought-based, feeling-based, empty, you just mirror it in your mirror mind!
 
A final stage moving into the non-dual

If you stay with your mirror mind for a while, you will notice that, although your awareness starts to become unified and singular through the mirroring, there is still a subtle gap or duality between the observer (mirror mind) and the observed (content of consciousness being mirrored). So, a final stage to the meditation is to then let the mirror mind melt into whatever arises, so that there are just ‘things arising as they are. In this state there is no observer or observed, there is only ‘just this’. It may take a while to get to a point where this last stage feels tangible or do-able, but when you are ready for it. It is an important final step in the sense that it takes the meditation from a witnessing state to a fully non-dual one.
 
Related readingWatching and then dropping the watcher

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com



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Snake meditation, & new non-duality mediation course

“Snake Wisdom – An appreciation of the mystery & the unknown, both in life and within ourselves”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Lunar new year this Wednesday! With this in mind I thought I’d pen a few thoughts on snake meditation in this week’s article. 

If you enjoy the article, your welcome to join us on Wednesday for the Lunar New Year Meditation 2025: Developing your wisdom, intuition & renewal in the year of the wood snake.

Quick update regarding new events: 
Saturday February 8th, 15th, 22nd, 10-11.40am – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – a three module course
Starts Tues 11th, Weds 12th February, 7.30-8.30 pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to non-dual meditation practice

In the spirit of snake wisdom, 

Toby



Snake meditation
 
Coming up to the Lunar new year, which is the year of the wood snake, I thought it might be interesting to reflect upon a few of the qualities and capacities of the snake, both in Chinese astrological lore, and as a power animal within indigenous traditions more generally. With some of the qualities I’ve put them in their higher and lower expressions, with the idea that you can reflect upon their presence in your own life, steering your expression of them toward their higher aspect.
 
Renewal and rebirth – The association of the snake with rebirth comes from its ability to shed its skin, emerging from its old form anew. In its higher expression this is the capacity to let go of our old self that we have ‘outgrown’ and allow the new self that we have been incubating to be ‘birthed’ and emerge. In its lower expression this might be a tendency within us to ‘shape shift’ and change in the face of circumstances when really, we should be holding true to the values and way of being we feel to be authentic.
 
Wisdom and cunning – “Be ye wise as snakes and innocent as doves” is a phrase from the Bible, Matthew 10:16. The wisdom of the snake in this context is the ability to navigate complex worldly situations appropriately, without loosing our connection to our spiritual simplicity and innocence. This wisdom in its lower expression means becoming cunning in the sense of manipulative, Machiavellian and exploitative of others.
 
Patience – The ability to bear challenges and difficulties with dignity and level headedness, as well as to see medium to long term goals through to their conclusion. The capacity for waiting for the right time and not rushing.
 
Creativity – As per the section on wisdom and cunning, but more generally an innovative capacity both around problem solving, but also in terms of artistic activities.
 
Empathy & diplomacy – The ability to take the perspective of the other person (2nd person), and see where they are coming from, without loosing your sense of where you are coming from. Diplomacy adds the ability to take a third person, objective perspective to 2nd person empathy.
 
Mystery & the unknown – An appreciation of the mysteries and unknowns, both in life and within ourselves. An opening to inner depths. In its lower expression this might be fear of the unknown, of the deep, and sticking to the known out of that fear.
 
To quote a summary from a page on the snake:
 
“People born under the sign of the wood snake tend to have balanced, calm, and reflective personalities. They have a great capacity for analysing situations and a deep interest in understanding the mysteries of the world and themselves.”
 
All in all, it seems like integrating some of like the snake personality into our lives this year could be a good choice for all of us!
 
As well as reflecting on the qualities of the snake, it can also be a very nice exercise to simply sit with an image of a snake, or a memory of meeting one. Let your intuition and inner guidance lead you in your interaction with the snake energy, and see what emerges for you. What comes may be related to some of the above qualities, or it may be something totally unique and unexpected, which is the nice thing about meditating imaginatively in this way.
 
Related article: The Sea Snakes of the Mind

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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Inner transformation – Slippers & carpets

“Seeing reality isn’t easy, because our mind throws our idea of what we think we are seeing onto what we see”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks a wise way to mindfully work with what you can control in your life. If you like the article, you are invited to come along to this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class, where we will be taking this subject as our object of meditation.
 
Also a heads up for this Saturday’s Deep-dive breathing meditation masterclass where we will focus on developing a multi-faceted breathing meditation practice that helps you grow and learn in the face of life’s challenges, and connect you to deep inner stability.
 
In the spirit of slippers,

Toby

 



Inner transformation – Slippers & carpets
 
TRANSFORMATION – by Anthony De Mello
To a disciple who was forever complaining about others, the Master said, “If it is
peace you want, seek to change yourself, not other people. It is easier to protect your feet
with slippers than to carpet the whole of the earth.”
 
This short story is one that I used to use a lot when I was teaching meditation classes as a monk back in the 1990’s. It’s a really good analogy for helping to re-orientate our attention when we are feeling out of balance, and if you think about meditation as a way of ‘protecting your feet with slippers’, then it’s a nice way to encourage regular practice!
 
Annoyed and overwhelmed – trying to fix the world
 
It’s easy to get in the trap of being in a situation where you have limited control, trying to control everything, and then feeling frustrated, disappointed and overwhelmed. This goes for smaller scale situations at work or at home, or simply when watching or reading about world events on the news. ‘Carpeting the world’ is a huge ask which, if you think about it rationally is a ridiculous thing to be trying to do. But if we are not mindful, we keep on attempting it and reap the same result time and time again.

  • In your relationships, are you trying to ‘fix’ your partner instead of working on ways that you can stay inwardly centred yourself?
  • At work do you often find yourself complaining about how it ‘should’ be, rather than accepting what is and making choices based on that?

Mindful of your locus of control – dancing between acceptance and assertion

“What is it that I am in control of here?” Is always a good question to ask as a way to find out how to work with a situation. One consistent answer that you will notice coming back to you time and time again is “I am (potentially) in charge of my thoughts, attitudes and emotions regarding this situation”.

In other worlds you can control what is going in within you. Working on what you notice happening inside is a way of ‘making slippers’ that will always give a high reward wherever you are. Of course, you can’t control literally every thought and feeling, but you can take responsibility for your inner life, and start to make improvements that begin protecting your feet from stones and other sharp objects.

Maybe there are some things outside of you that you are also in control of, so you can consider asserting yourself and acting around these as well. But asking what you are in control of will also make obvious lots of things that you simply can’t control and have to accept. In this sense acceptance of our limits of control should always be a part of our ‘slipper building’ process. For example, I find it quite a relief thinking about the limits of my control regarding whether people like me or not, or want to work with me. I just do what I can within the limits of conscience, and then relax!

One of the biggest and most useful things to accept is ‘I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CARPET THE WORLD!’

Three mindful slipper positions

In this situation (of your choice):

  • Am I trying to carpet the world rather than make slippers?
  • What do I need to accept in order to make my slippers?
  • What inwardly and outwardly can I do that will also contribute to my slipper building?

Related article: Effortless adaptation – Solving all your problems & none (II)


© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Upcoming Meditation classes & workshops in with Toby:

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm 
– Weekly integral meditation classes

From Tues 7th/Weds 8th January, 7.30-8.30pm – The Wisdom of Awakening Series – Meditation for leaping into reality

Saturday, 25th January9.30-11.30am – Deep-dive breathing meditation masterclass

Saturday, 25th January, 5-6pm – Engaged mindfulness & meditation class – ‘Honesty, release and redirection – three levels of non-judgment’

Wednesday 29th January, 7.30-8.30pm – Lunar New Year Meditation 2025: Developing your wisdom, intuition & renewal in the year of the wood snake


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creative imagery Enlightened Flow Essential Spirituality Inner vision Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience One Minute Mindfulness Presence and being present Zen Meditation

Awakening, not over-thinking

“Growth is achieved by degrees. Enlightenment is instantaneous”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at the practice of waking-up, which is something that we can practice ‘leaping’ into anytime, anywhere. If you like the article, you are invited to come along to this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class, where we will be taking this subject as our object of meditation.

In the spirit of awakening, 

Toby

 



Awakening, not over-thinking
 
Enlightenment – Waking up to the freedom of awareness
There is a precept in soto zen that goes something like “One must not wait for awakening.” What this means is that you can touch the freedom of the present moment simply by letting go of your pre-occupations and awakening to exactly where you are. You might think of this enlightenment or awakening as having three levels. You start at level one, which even a beginner can do in a rudimentary way, and as you build confidence you work onto levels two and three.
 
Level one involves simply being fully present to an experience. It could be physical/sensory, it could be thought, or even the more subtle experience of awareness itself. You might think of it as a non-resistance to what is, an acceptance that facilitates an awakening to life in the moment.
 
Level two involves noticing that there is an observer within you, a witness that is present to whatever is there. This witness is the ‘I Am’ within you. With a bit of practice, you can not only awaken to objects of awareness in the present, but also that which is aware of the objects in the present, which is the witness, or your enlightened nature itself.
 
Level three involves insight into the not oneness and not two-ness of the object of awareness (level one) with that which witnesses the object of awareness (level two)’

  • If the witnessing awareness is like the ocean, the object of awareness is like a wave
  • If the witnessing awareness is like the sun, the object of awareness is like a light-ray from the sun

This non-one, not-two experience moves us toward a non-dual or unitive awakening in the moment.
The above three practices are methods of awakening, or ‘Waking up’, and you really just have to commit to doing it again and again, awakening to this moment of your life as best you can and ‘improving’ through practice.
 
Awakening, not over-thinking – a practical reflection
 
Over the Christmas period I travelled back to see my family, and spent almost the entire time sick with a bad flu. One of the main ways in which I worked with this in terms of enlightenment and awakening was simply practicing the three levels above:

  1. Being present to the experience as it was
  2. Being aware of my witness
  3. Resting the not-one, not-two-ness of positions one and two

This enabled me to:

  • not over-think about the ‘bad luck’ or difficulty of my situation
  • simply accept it as I found it.

As a result, I was able to minimize my pain, make the experience into a form of meditation, and endure it with a degree of patience.
Of course, I did spend some time thinking and reflecting on my experience, but (almost)) always in the context of finding mental perspectives that are useful and helpful, rather than ruminating.
 
I’ll end with a short story from Anthony De Mello entitled “Rebirth” that illustrates nicely some important ideas around awakening related to this article.
 
REBIRTH
“Make a clean break with your past and you will be enlightened,” said the ‘Master.
“I am doing that by degrees.”
“Growth is achieved by degrees. Enlightenment is instantaneous.”
Later he said, “Take the leap! You cannot cross a chasm in little jumps.”


© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Meditation classes & workshops in January 2025 with Toby:

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm 
– Weekly integral meditation classes

From Tues 7th/Weds 8th January, 7.30-8.30pm – The Wisdom of Awakening Series – Meditation for leaping into reality

Saturday 18th January 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday, 25th January9.30-11.30am – Deep-dive breathing meditation masterclass

Saturday, 25th January, 5-6pm – Engaged mindfulness & meditation class – ‘Honesty, release and redirection – three levels of non-judgment’


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Destiny & fate, empowerment or victimhood?

“The micro-actions that we do add up, like drops of water in a pot. Do enough of them and they can create a sea-change in your life, & your destiny”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article explores the distinctions between destiny & fate, & how to use mindfulness to work with them creatively in your life. 

If you enjoy the article, it will be the focus subject of this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday evening class , you’d be welcome to come along, live or online!
This class is also the first in a series on the ‘Wisdom of awakening’, details of which are below.

In the spirit of destiny,

Toby
 


 
Article of the week

Destiny & fate, empowerment or victimhood?
 
DESTINY
To a woman who complained about her destiny the Master said, “It is you who make
your destiny.”
“But surely I am not responsible for being born a woman?”
“Being born a woman isn’t destiny. That is fate. Destiny is how you accept your
womanhood and-what you make of it.”
 From Anthony De Mellos ‘One minute wisdom’
 
Mindful of your destiny
 
Here we might consider destiny as “what you do with what life has given you”. You may recognize the voice within yourself that says ‘I have no choice or freedom here, I am a victim of circumstance, there is nothing I can do about this (except complain, or feel hard done by). In this context our destiny is understood as what we make of what we have got/have been given. In this sense destiny is a creative word; we create our destiny, it is in our hands. Sitting mindfully with a phrase such as “I am the primary creator of my destiny” and opening to the feelings and energy that comes from that can help us to access this inner power.
 
Accepting of your fate
 
In the same way that creating our destiny is a power, so is accepting our fate. Indeed, creating our destiny depends upon our acceptance of the life and circumstances we have been given. Without this acceptance there is no way that we can work with what we have, because we reject it. This non-acceptance actively prevents us from asking the question “What can I do with what I have got?” In a certain sense, acceptance is a type of positive indifference to our fortune, whether it be good or bad. It simply opens to what is, and this accepting of what is opens the doorway to destiny-creation.
 
Mindful of victimhood
 
Acceptance of our fate is not passive victim-consciousness. It is a strength that pre-ceeds the power of destiny-creation. Pick an area of your life where something maybe has not turned out that great (in your limited opinion), and practice observing and breathing with it in the spirit of acceptance. After a while you will start to see quite clearly that it is calm, collected, and empowering. It is not at all like victim-consciousness or feeling persecuted. It is a power, not a weakness.
 
Empowering yourself to create your destiny though mindful questions
 
These can be asked around a specific part of your life, or in a more general sense:
What is the fate that I need to accept?
What is the destiny that I can choose to embrace and create?
Where is the voice of the victim-of-fate within me? How can I prevent it sabotaging me?
What is/are the next step/s today to creating my destiny?
 
Micro & macro destiny
 
You might think of destiny as being mainly about the big things in your life, and the big achievements. That is not untrue, but equally I think it’s about the things that you choose in small situations, in micro-experiences. After all, the micro-actions that we do add up, like drops of water in a pot. Do enough of them and they can create a sea-change in your life and your destiny!
 
Related articleIntention determines trajectory – Aspects of integrated mindful intention

 © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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Playful detached-compassion

“Life experience, combined with playfulness and observational presence can make the power of our compassion grow exponentially”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article explores resolving the apparent contradiction between detachment & compassion i a playful way! If you enjoy the article, we will be looking at the topic in this week’s meditation session. 

Reminder of this Saturday’s  Making Pearls from Sand: Free online session on mindfully working with your shadow-self, 1700-1800 Singapore time.

In the spirit of compassionate play,

Toby

 



This week’s meditation session Tues 12th/Weds 13th November:  ‘Detached compassion – in the world but not of it’.

This class looks at how to use mindfulness & meditation to:

  • Develop sustainable, high-quality compassion
  • Combine it with healthy detachment
  • Use this combination as an energising & healing force within ourself, our life & the world

 
7.30-8.30pm SG time, live in-person and online


 
Article of the week: Playful detached-compassion
 
Detachment and compassion are qualities that often we consider being separate because they appear to exclude each other.  It seems when you are detached you are disconnected from others, and so cannot feel compassion for them. Likewise, if we were being compassionate we cannot be detached because that means disconnecting from our feeling nature, which is where our compassion is located.
 
However, viewed from the perspective of mindful awareness, it is perfectly possible to bring deep compassion together with a sense of detached, witnessing observation. This is because:
 
We can practice observational detachment from any situation, viewing things from the “big picture” perspective, while at the same time cultivating closeness and intimacy with who or what we observe
 
Good quality mindful awareness is like the sun. It combines the impersonal light of awareness with a nurturing, life-giving warmth. From the perspective of an integrated mindful awareness, we can cultivate an experience of life as impersonally-personal, as deeply involved and at the same time not involved, as compassionate at the same time as being even minded.
 
If you practice bringing observational detachment and compassion together simultaneously in life situations, gradually improving your ability, then you will consistently increase your experience of detached-compassion.
 
Divine Playfulness
 
One of the fundamental qualities of Spirit when we contact it playfulness and a corresponding sense of humour. From its perspective the whole process of creating and evolving a universe is done as a type of game, a way of creatively exploring itself and its potential.
Consequently, if you want to increase the level of spirit in your daily life then entering your daily tasks in the spirit playfulness is a great practice to have.
It is easy to get a little too serious about things and allow our life to become unnecessarily stressful and unhappy. Relating to the challenges in your day as playful games and puzzles set you by the universe to help you grow is a technique that both relieves stress and enhances the deeply felt spiritual nature of your human experience.
 
A five-minute meditation to integrate playfulness and detached compassion into daily life
 
Step 1: Mentally select a particular life situation/challenge that you wish to work on in the meditation
 
Step 2: Recollect your understanding of detached compassion. Open your heart to the feelings that you are experiencing and the other people that are involved at the same time as mentally taking a step back and seeing what is happening from a more impersonal, big picture perspective. Experiment, trying to feel both empathic compassion and witnessing observance. At first do them one after the other, and then simultaneously. Breathe with this combined experience for a while.
 
Step 3: Introduce playful humour to your perspective of the challenge. Think of the challenge as a game that you as a spiritual being are playing to stretch and improve your capability as a human being. Stay with this perspective and the experiences it gives rise to for a time.
If you do this brief exercise a few times you will find that compassionate detachment and playfulness will become an accessible experience for you in your daily life. Life experience, combined with playfulness and observational presence can make the power of our compassion grow exponentially.
 
Related articlesCompassion & care through awareness
Compassionate presence, awakened action
© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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Are you Solar or lunar?

“Help people become creative ‘inner artists’ in their thoughts, emotions, and philosophy, thus empowering them to change their life & work”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article is the first of two looking at my primary motivations both for being an executive  coach & a meditation teacher. It works with the question ‘Are you a solar or lunar being?’. I hope you enjoy it, ‘part two’ is next week.

Details of this week’s meditation class is below, as well as the the Shadow work & Language of the shadow workshops I will be doing in the next few weeks.  
  
In the spirit of creativity,

Toby

Read the follow-up article in the series: Jackal or Tiger? – Creative, wise courage



This week’s article: Are you Solar or lunar?
 
What brings me passion in coaching?
 
I originally trained as an artist, & ceramic sculptor at University. The reasons that I chose a Fine Art degree was because it offered me the maximum bandwidth to explore the freedom of creativity. After graduating, I shifted from being an ‘external artist’, someone that makes external art, to being a meditation practitioner & teacher.
To me meditation was not an abandonment of creativity, but a shift; rather than making external art, I focused on my inner life, creating harmony, balance & ‘beauty’ within myself. A major reason for this was that I noticed that my inner life had a huge impact upon what I experienced outwardly:

  • If my inner self was feeling optimistic and powerful I tended to behave and experience as such in my daily life
  • If my inner self confused, fearful or resentful, perception of my outer world and my behavior in it changed accordingly

As a meditator, I still felt myself to be an artist, but more of an inner artist. The fundamental driving force was still the principle of creativity, but more ‘The inner creativity behind the outer creativity!’
 
So, my driving passion in coaching is this; I help people become creative ‘inner artists’ in their thoughts, emotions, and philosophy, thus empowering them to change the experience of their outer lives and work.
 
Are you a solar or lunar person?
 
I often explain the power of wise creativity in the following manner:
The light of the moon is, in fact the reflected light of the sun. It does not have its own light. People are mostly like the moon in the sense that, whatever environment they go into, they are largely formed & influenced by that environment. For example, if a person starts to work in a new office with a positive culture, then they will become like that too. If they start work in an office with a negative culture, they will tend to become like that.
 
My passion as a coach lies in making people ‘solar’ rather than lunar. The sun is its own light source, its own source of power. It is creative & generative. The real nature of a human being is to be like the sun, to be the creative force in their life. I help people to realize their inner power, & harness it though structured practices that build confidence. My mission is to help people to tap into their own already existing creativity, using it to change and transform their work and personal life for the better.
 
Related coaching services:
Executive coaching
Life-Fullness Life coaching
 
Related articles by Toby:
Mindful of your inner artist – Becoming sola not lunar
Becoming Your Own Mindful Psychotherapist and Life Coach


© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Follow Toby onLinkedInYouTubeInstagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology