Category: Insight Meditation

Are you building self-esteem or self-alienation?

Post author By Toby
Post date April 13, 2026

“What are the areas of your life that you tend to get stuck in self-alienation? How can you start using self-acceptance in these situations, strengthening your self-esteem in the process?”

Dear Integral Meditators,

In this week’s article I look at self-alienation as an object of mindful enquiry. In my view self-alienation is a common, pervasive issue for many people. If we can start to see it, we can start to deal with it! It is a topic that comes up with regularity in both my shadow coaching work, and my therpeutic mindfulness coaching.

If the subject interests you, then you might enjoy the Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass on Saturday 25th April, 2.30-4.30pm.

In the spirit of integration,

Toby

Are you building self-esteem or self-alienation?

Self-esteem is

One way of thinking about self esteem is as having two parts:

The part that considers ourself to be worthy of happiness and to have value
The part of us that feels capable and effective in the face of life and life’s challenges

If you have self-esteem as a foundational building block of your psychological experience of life, it will affect almost everything else in a positive way.

Self-alienation is

Self-Alienation happens whenever we turn away from, reject, or repress awareness of an aspect of ourself. We literally cut ourselves off from a part of who we are, and this part becomes a stranger to, or alienated from our conscious self. Nathaniel Branden wrote a book ‘The disowned self’ on the subject of all the different ways in which we alienate ourself from ourself. It mostly does not happen consciously, very few people wake up saying to themselves “Today I am going to practice self-alienation, and dis-own different parts of myself.” Nevertheless, without knowing it many of us do exactly this, without understanding that it is happening, or how we are doing it.

Why & how we create self-alienation when trying to create self-esteem

Let’s say I am deeply disappointed about not getting a job opportunity that I had interviewed for and had a good chance of getting. To protect myself from the difficult feelings and ‘lowness’ of feeling disappointed (and like a ‘loser’) I repress them, banishing them from my consciousness. By doing this I am trying to protect my self-esteem, but what I am really doing is alienating myself from the part of me that feels disappointed. This ‘disappointed self’ is the very part of me needing support and acknowledgement in that moment. Instead, I turn away from him and disown him.
In this example my instinctive efforts to protect my self-esteem actually sabotage it, and make me weaker by cutting myself off from a part of me. Secondarily, and just as importantly, sub-consciously a part of me will know that I have done this, and will know that we have ‘betrayed ourself’ on some fundamental level. This further lowers our REAL self-esteem, but tragically it has been done to protect the very self-esteem that we are damaging.

Self-acceptance as a route to genuine self-esteem

Let us say that, in the face of my disappointment over the job opportunity, instead of repressing and alienating my disappointment I turn towards it, acknowledging and accepting it. I allow myself to feel and experience my emotions, expressing a degree of understanding and care toward the part of me in pain. By bringing into consciousness the wounded part, and choosing to accept and look after it I:

Increase my self-esteem by displaying both courage and competency in the face of a challenge
I keep my personality from being divided against itself, it remains interconnected and in integrity
I actually pass through the disappointment much more quickly, feeling much more resilient and adaptable as a result

Self-acceptance becomes a route to higher self-confidence and self-esteem, preventing the disastrous (and often unconscious) results of self-alienation and dis-association.

What are the areas of your life that you tend to get stuck in self-alienation? How can you start using self-acceptance in these situations, strengthening your self-esteem in the process?

Related reading: Choosing to be on Your Own Side
Motivating Yourself to Meditate Part 2 – Meeting Your Deeper & Higher Needs Through Meditation

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Ongoing on Wednesdays – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Ongoing on Saturdays – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Saturday 25th April, 2.30-4.30pm – Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, self-alienation, self-esteem

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Which type of meditator are you? ( & muddy water article)

Post author By Toby
Post date March 30, 2026

“’Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone’. The tricky thing is that with a busy mind, where there is conflicting or competing energies, this is often the last thing that we feel like doing!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week I’ll be doing a couple of open talks and meditations on the five types of meditators:

Wednesday 1^st April is online only
Saturday 4^th April is Live in person & online

Details and links are below. If you are not able to make the sessions live, but want to have a listen, let me know & I’ll be happy to send the recordings on…

Beneath the session details you can find this weeks artcle on ‘Muddy water – Meditation as waiting, allowing’.

In the spirit of integral meditation,

Toby

Wednesday April 1^st, 7.30-8.30pm & Saturday, 4^th April, 5-6pm – Which meditator are you? – Free meditation seminars: The five types of meditators & how to build your path to inner freedom

Read full details…

This week’s article: Muddy water – Meditation as waiting & allowing

Back when I was teaching meditation classes as a monk, we used to use the analogy of muddy water to explain meditation. It is quite well known, and you may have heard of it yourself. It basically says that a busy mind is like muddy water; if you leave it to stand for long enough, the mud will settle and the water becomes clear. There are a couple of ‘sources’ for this analogy:

1. In chapter 15 of the Tao te ching, Lao Tsu refers to it:
“Clear as a glass of water.
Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?”

2. It can also be found in the Buddhist sutras, specifically the Surangama sutra, where it says:
“It (meditation) is like purifying muddy water by placing it in a quiet vessel which is kept completely still and unmoving. The sand and silt settle, and the pure water appears. This is called the initial subduing of the guest-dust affliction.”

3. More recently Alan watts refers to it in his teachings in ‘the way of Zen’, where he says “Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone”

The main thing I want to emphasize here is that clarity is achieved through leaving alone and waiting. It is very difficult for us to try to clear our mind in meditation, but the effort itself prevents us from letting the ‘mud’ of our mind settle, and achieve clarity. The clarity is ‘achieved’ essentially by:

Waiting
Watching
Letting alone
Being patient
Doing precisely nothing, the less the better!

So then, you could consider it a perfectly valid meditation practice just to sit down and wait. The key here would be to do nothing else; just sit, wait, relax. The tricky thing is that with a busy mind, where there is conflicting or competing energies, this is often the last thing that we feel like doing! We want to:

Get rid of the conflict
‘Achieve’ clarity
Escape from, not have to face, what is within us
Get it done quickly

All of this makes it quite difficult to do nothing other than wait, watch and allow.

Mastering, or at least getting better at this waiting process in meditation then starts to bleed into our daily life. Where we start to see that we can achieve several things much more easily by waiting and non-doing, rather than striving and getting busy. We start to access the art of Wu-wei, or doing-by-non-doing. This is a way of getting things done that is complementary, not contradictory to our striving and achieving approach. Indeed, it can make our striving and achieving more skilful and relaxed when we realize we don’t have to try quite as hard as we thought. Rather it is a matter of trying smarter rather than trying harder…

Related article: Effortless effort – Making everything workable
Relaxing into, not fighting with your fatigue

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing weekly on Wednesday – Beginners mind, resilient body – a 10-week integral meditation course

Wednesday April 1^st, 7.30-8.30pm & Saturday, 4^th April, 5-6pm – Which meditator are you? – Free meditation seminars: The five types of meditators & how to build your path to inner freedom

Starts Wednesday 8^th April, 7.30-8.30pm, & then ongoing – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Saturday 11^th April, 5.30-6.15pm SG time, & then ongoing – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Saturday 11^th April, 5.30-6.15pm SG time, & then ongoing – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Your inner voice & tone of presence

Post author By Toby
Post date January 5, 2026

“We often talk to ourself too much, sometimes unskilfully, but it is also possible to talk to little, when we could really do with a voice of support from within”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article is a complementary to my one from a few weeks ago on Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself. Both articles point to some psycho-dynamic mindfulness practices that can have a dramatic empowering effect on your experience!

Before the article are details of the main courses and workshops for January, your welcome to come on the journey of any or all of them!

In the spirit of mindful inner chatter,

Toby

Starts Tues 13^th, Weds 14^th January, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body – a 10-week integral meditation course

Starts Saturday 17^th January, 5.30-6.15pm, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body deep-dive: An 11 -session practice series

In a sentence: Combine the mental agility, flexibility & wisdom of a beginner’s mind with resilient energy levels with these ‘integral cross-training’ meditation course!

Saturday 24th January, 9.00am-12.30pm – Meditation and Mindfulness for Self-Healing and Creating High Levels of Energy

Learn how you can use meditation and mindfulness order to accelerate the healing of a physical health condition, create higher levels of energy in your body and/or break through difficult energy patterns in your physical body that are affecting your mental and emotional wellbeing…read full details

Article: Your inner voice & tone of presence, overactive or not active enough?

This is a complementary article to my one from a few weeks ago on Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself.
Our inner voice accompanies much of our experience, narrating, judging and commenting on our experience, creating and adding to our perception of what we think we are going through…
As well as our tone of voice, there is also what I would call our ‘tone of presence’. This is the mood, atmosphere, and way of being present to ourself as we go through the day. It is distinct from our inner voice in the sense that it is not a voice, but a presence, an energy.

Our inner voice and tone of presence play off each other. A harsh judgment from our inner voice can lead to a sense of energetic or emotional presence that feels oppressive and stifling. Contrastingly, a gentle mood and energy of presence can lead to the expression of an accepting, loving inner voice.

If you reflect on how these two have been interacting within you today, what do you notice or observe?

Ideally, we want a tone of presence and inner voice that are mutually aware and re-enforce each other in ways that are constructive and balanced, promoting a sense of inner wholeness and integrity. However, it is all too easy for them to becoming mutually antagonistic, dividing us against ourselves, and setting up spirals of imbalance and conflict.
Here are some overactive and under active expressions of our voice and tone of presence, as well as their higher and lower expressions.

Overactive inner voice, oppressive tone of presence

In this scenario, we are taking and narrating to ourselves a lot, in a neurotic manner. It’s like sitting next to someone on an aeroplane who just won’t shut up. The underlying tone of presence is accordingly anxious, and characterised by emotions such as fear, anger, blame, regret and so on. This almost always makes what we are going through more difficult. I’m sure you can think of examples from your own experience of this.
When we notice ourself becoming triggered in this way, the direction we want to emphasise is:

A slower, gentler, more compassionate inner voice
A warmer, more inwardly supportive tone of presence

Under active inner voice, absence rather than presence

An under active inner voice is when we could be, should be talking ourself through something in a pro-active, supportive manner. But instead we just ‘go silent’ or ‘freeze’ like a rabbit in the headlights. Our inner voice is absent where it should be talking pro-activelly!
In terms of our tone of presence, this can manifest as a kind of absence, or non-presence. We are trying to escape the discomfort of where we are by being absent energetically, rather than present! Again, you will find it quite easy to find examples from your own experience of this.
Corrections for under activity include:

Waking up and being pro-active with our inner voice, encouraging ourself skilfully and appropriately
Bringing supportive, attentive presence to the situation, being alert to possibilities

Practice points for growing à balanced inner voice, harmonised
presence include:

Get used to watching and being aware of your inner voice and tone of presence
Reducing/recalibrating their impulsiveness, speed and energy where appropriate
Increasing presence and supportive inner chatter where it is needed

What situation in your life can you start practicing around this today?

Related article: Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Tues 13^th, Weds 14^th January, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body – a 10-week integral meditation course

Starts Saturday 17^th January, 5.30-6.15pm, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body deep-dive: An 11 -session practice series

Saturday 24th January, 9.00am-12.30pm – Meditation and Mindfulness for Self-Healing and Creating High Levels of Energy

Tags inner conversation, inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, presence, self-talk

Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Uncategorized

Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself

Post author By Toby
Post date December 15, 2025

“The most important conversations you are having are the inner ones that you are having with yourself. Has what you have been saying today inwardly helped or hindered you?”

Dear Toby,

This week’s article looks at the inner conversation that we all have with ourselves, and how to start working with it mindfully…

A couple of free seasonal meditations coming up, the Winter solstice & new year online sessions, you are all invited!

In the spirit of self-talk,

Toby

Article: Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself

Most of the time you are talking to yourself

For almost all people, there is an internal conversation we are having with ourself all the time. It is probably the most important conversation you are having because:

As mentioned, it is going on almost all the time, whether someone else is around or not
If it is working for you, it can be an almost constant source of support, encouragement, and resilience
If it is working against you, it is an almost constant source of discouragement, conflict, and weakness
You can’t escape it by running away. Unlike other people, the voice follows you wherever you go!

Noticing the conversation & making adjustments

Step one then could be to recognize the inner conversation and acknowledge its importance. This can then be a motivator to start working with it. To start working with it, we need to start to watch it and notice what’s going on as we talk to ourselves!
As in all mindfulness practice just becoming aware of it, and starting to study it as an object of consciousness can be profoundly transformative. Based on your observation, you can then practice making small, skilful interventions in the conversation that make it more balanced and useful for you. For example, there is a tremendous difference between
“You’ve just wasted half an hour procrastinating, you idiot, why do you always do that”
And:
“Its normal for me to take half an hour or so to settle into my work, lets see if I can make it just twenty minutes today!”
It’s not rocket science, but it can make a big impact, particularly if we do it regularly, and start to get the compound effect going!

Learning to suspend the conversation

Part of the joy of meditation of course, is to learn that you can actually switch the conversation off, what a relief! Ways to begin the conversation suspension include:

Watching the spaces between the words in your inner conversation, dropping into them and gradually extending them
Placing short pauses between your inbreath and out breath, practising suspending the conversation just for those pauses

Exercises such as there help to build familiarity with the state of silence, even when our mind is still quite active

Being pro-active about the conversation

A final method that I can’t recommend highly enough is to activate your ‘inner life-coach’. This means you are taking charge of your inner conversation and saying things to yourself that are encouraging, supportive, balanced, and wise as you go through your day. Being pro-active about this conversation when I play sport is the single best and most consistent tool I have found to bring my best performance out. But, and more importantly, if life is the sport, and today, right now is ‘game day,’ then the time to activate this capacity within yourself is now!
Sometimes it may feel like being pro-active like this takes a lot of work. But then its a lot more work living with a miserable, oppressive inner voice. So you may as well engage in the inner work that is taking you somewhere, rather than just being miserable and running round in circles!

Practicum

Set aside time to watch your inner conversation with a degree of curious objectivity
Practice making small skilful interventions
Practice ceasing the conversation for short periods
Cultivate your ‘inner life-coach’!

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindful self-talk, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

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Connecting to your magical self or inner Magician

Post author By Toby
Post date November 26, 2025

“Magic means being able to change one level of our reality by working on it from the level, or plane above it”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article is the first part of a re-work of an old article of mine on your ‘inner magician’, with part 2 next week.
If you enjoy it, then you might enjoy coming along to the Wednesday and Saturday bright shadow meditations, which are magical in the way described below.

Heads up for the last workshop of the year, Saturday 13th December, 9am-12.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop, also very much an ‘evolutionary magical’ focus here.

In the spirit of your inner magician,

Toby

Connecting to your magical self or inner Magician

I have recently been working on re-titling and writing notes for some artworks that I completed back in 2005. The first of these “The Magician” you can see in the image on this page. The image itself is meant as a way of visually connecting to our “Inner Magician”. The inner magician is that part of our inner self that is both creative and magical, and that if we harness it effectively has the power to change our daily life and experience for the better.

Who or what is our inner magician?

Here is a working definition:

“The higher expression of our inner magician is that part of self that is able to work with the higher, evolutionary or developmental expression of magic.”

Magic in this context means the following:

1) Being able to affect or change one level of our reality by working on it from the level, or plane of reality above it.
2) Engaging our creative imagination vividly and consciously to “sculpt” our experience of any given situation for the better.
3) Not being content to let good ideas remain in our head, but actively finding ways of expressing those ideas concretely in our daily life.

Let’s take a closer look at these three aspects of magic:

1) Being able to affect or change one level of our reality by working on it from the level or plane of reality above it.
In its simplest terms this means that you use your mental or thought-based mind to change your physical and emotional reality for the better, and you use your spiritual or intuitive mind (which operates on a level beyond thought) to change your thinking patterns for the better.

A simple example might be this:

If I experience physical pain because of an injury or illness I use my thinking mind to be constructive, telling myself that the pain won’t last forever, and encouraging myself to practice patience. This is using my thoughts to positively affect my physical reality.
If I find myself having repetitive dissonant thoughts about my pain and illness, then I can temporarily suspend my thinking (this is really where meditation comes into the picture) and move into a state of mind beyond thought. Doing this enables me to release the momentum of all the imbalanced thoughts that I was having, so that my mind becomes a “clean slate” so to speak which I can then replace the cycle of ‘negative’ thoughts with more appropriate and affirmative ones.

So, thinking mind works magic on physical world and emotions, spiritual/non-conceptual mind works to affect and control the thinking mind.

Looking at this example, you might think that this is simply working skillfully and creatively with your mind and consciousness to affect your bodily experience, but in terms of the way we are talking about it, that is exactly what a large part of functional magic is!

I’ll be posting a part 2 of this article next week, or if you like you can read the full original article here.

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Starts Tuesday 11^th & 12^th November, 7.30-8.30pm – Going beyond your limitations, tapping into your hidden strengths – Meditating with your bright shadow, a 6-week course

Starts Saturday 15th November, 5.30-6.15pm SG time – Bright shadow meditation Deep-dive – A 5 session practice series

Saturday 29th November, 7-9pm – Living Life From Your Inner Center – Meditations for Going With the Flow of the Present Moment

Saturday 13th December, 9am-12.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop

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Journeying with your shadow self – Free recording, video & upcoming courses

Post author By Toby
Post date October 21, 2025

“As we gather our shadow back into our I, our I starts to feel strong, resilient and whole in ways that we had forgotten was possible”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s newsletter has the links to:

An introductory talk on shadow meditation & work that I did last year
An article on the shadow entitled “Id to ego, It to I; The essence of shadow integration“
A five minute video on bright, or golden shadow practice

After beneath these are the details of four upcoming shadow workshops & meditation session series’ that I will be doing, starting with my ‘finding freedom from what holds you back‘ shadow workshop this Saturday 25th October.

There are also details of a special offer on my shadow coaching services.

This week’s Tues/Weds or Saturday Zen meditations are on Signless-ness for anyone that would like to join.

In the spirit of shadow play,

Toby

Article: Id to ego, It to I; The essence of shadow integration

As you may be aware, it was Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung who first coined the term ‘shadow’ as an aspect of their theories of the conscious and unconscious minds. They indicated the split that can occur between the two when parts of our personality/psychological self are repressed and banished to the unconscious mind, with the resulting phenomenon of the shadow self being a part of the result…read full article

Listen to Toby’s ‘Meditating with your shadow self introductory talk & meditation‘

Watch Toby’s video on ‘Meditating with the bright shadow‘:

Upcoming workshops & series’ on the shadow & the golden shadow

Saturday 25th October, 9am-12.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self
Starts Tuesday 11^th & 12^th November, 7.30-8.30pm – Going beyond your limitations, tapping into your hidden strengths – Meditating with your bright shadow, a 6-week course

Starts Saturday 5.30-6.15pm SG time – Bright shadow meditation Deep-dive – A 5 session practice series

Saturday 22nd November, 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Special coaching offer: 15% off of all 1:1 shadow coaching sessions with Toby up until End November 2025

In a sentence: Shadow coaching shows you how to spot your shadow self. It offers practical and accessible methods for helping to release the energy within you that has been trapped in your shadow self, so that you can live your life at its fullest, deepest potential.

Tags bright shadow, inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, shadow meditation, shadow work

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Compassion, wisdom & your original face

Post author By Toby
Post date September 29, 2025

“What is your original face before your parents were born?”

Dear Integral Meditators,

The ‘Original face’ mentioned above is a well known Zen koan, or riddle. In the article below I outline some simple awareness exercises to use it to develop your wise compassion, or ‘Karuna’.

If you enjoy it, you’d be welcome to join this week’s Tues/Weds or Saturday Zen meditations, where we will be exploring our original face in the sessions.

In the spirit of originality,

Toby

PS: October & November see the return of my Shadow & Language of the shadow workshops, click the links for full details!

Compassion, wisdom & your original face

This article is really a set of pointing out instructions for developing compassion in the spirit of Zen meditation. There are five ‘positions’, each one can be explored as a practice in its own right, but put together they invite a rich and wholistic growth of our wise compassion over time.

Position 1: Centering in the six directions

Sit comfortably, then become aware of the direction in front of you, behind you, to your left, to your right, above and below. Become aware your vertical center, which you can visualize as a line of light and energy extending from your crown to your perineum. As you breathe in, breathe into your bodily center, as you breathe out let your awareness expand out into the six directions. Us this breathing pattern to become focused, relaxed, and present.

Position 2: Reflecting on your own pain & suffering with self-compassion

In this state of relaxed presence, become self-aware, creating an atmosphere of warmth and care toward yourself. Become aware of any parts of yourself that are in pain or suffering for whatever reason. As you breathe in, feel yourself contacting these parts of self, as you breathe out extend gentle understanding and compassion to them, embracing them with this energy.

Position 3: Meditating on your ‘Original face’

Reflect upon the well-known Zen koan:

“What is your original face before your parents were born?”

Here your ‘original face’ is simply the space of consciousness itself before thoughts are ‘born’, the space and ‘face’ before you think (see the description of the Host in my previous article). Return to position 1, centering in the six directions, but emphasizing moving into stillness and non-thought in the moment. As you breathe in center, as you breathe out let go of your thoughts and relax into the open space of consciousness itself, your ‘original face’.

Position 4: Generating wise compassion for all living beings, recognizing them as ‘Self’

Position 3 invites us to see that, in the space of consciousness itself, ‘self’ and ‘other’ dissolve into a singular identity as consciousness itself. Consciousness itself appears as both ‘self’ and ‘other’. Recognizing this, allow your care and compassion to extend from yourself to all other living beings, knowing that, in the space of your original face, we are all one aspect of the same being. This combination of compassion and the wisdom recognizing your ‘Original face’ is called Karuna in Zen, which means wise compassion.

Position 5: Reflecting on your own opportunities for daily compassionate presence, & small acts of compassion

From the ‘metta’ perspective of position 4, now reflect on your own day and life. Look for ways in which you might be able to direct your compassionate presence towards those around you, and express it to them in small, appropriate ways.

Related article: Host & guest – Zen Witnessing

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing Tuesday & Weds September, 7.30-8.30pm, – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Saturdays 5.30-6.15pm – Zen meditation Deep-dive – A 10 session practice series

17 Oct 2025, 8am-12pm & 21 Nov 2025, 8am-12pm – The wisdom of Zen meditation practice retreat & course, levels 1&2

Saturday 25th October, 9am-12.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

Saturday 22nd November, 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday 29th November, 7-9pm – Living Life From Your Inner Center – Meditations for Going With the Flow of the Present Moment

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, original face, power of mind, Zen meditation

Awareness and insight creative imagery Essential Spirituality Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Meditating on the Self Meditation techniques Mindfulness Presence and being present Primal Spirituality Zen Meditation

Host & guest – Zen Witnessing

Post author By Toby
Post date September 23, 2025

Dear Integral Meditators,

The Host and guest is a traditional Zen analogy for the for the stages of the path from an un-awakened to awakened state. Its a simple blueprint that can inform you at any level of your inner growth, particularly if you are an active meditator.

If you enjoy it, you’d be welcome to join this week’s Tues/Weds or Saturday Zen meditations, where we will be exploring Host & guest in the sessions.

In the spirit of ,

Toby

Host & guest – Zen Witnessing

The Host and guest is a traditional Zen analogy for the for the stages of the path from an un-awakened to awakened state. The image is taken from the Surangama sutra, where ‘Host’ means emptiness, our essence, the nature of mind, while ‘guest’ means phenomena, or the content of consciousness.

The Host, consciousness itself, the Witness

If you look at your awareness from moment to moment, there are things that are changing within it, and there is something that is not changing. The thing that is not changing is the experience of awareness itself – that which is aware of and watches the content of consciousness coming and going. This is why it is often called the ‘the Witness self’. In the analogy it is the ‘Host’ because it is the permanent, or fixed resident in our consciousness. The contents of consciousness are like the guests in an Inn or hotel, coming and going in a transient manner. Contrastingly, consciousness itself, or the Witness Self is like the proprietor of the Inn, the ‘permanent resident’ so to speak.

The guest – the content of our consciousness

The content of our consciousness is essentially:

Our body and sensory experience, the outer word
Our mind, thought perceptions and inner world
The feelings and emotions that attend/arise from our physical and mental worlds

Unlike our observer consciousness, our outer experiences, thoughts and emotions come and go, like the guests of the Inn.

Part of the emphasis on being present in the moment, both in Zen and in meditation more generally, is so that we can start watching our awareness, and distinguish between the Host and guest in our own being and consciousness. By doing this we can start to effect a transformation of our identity that has four stages:

Stage 1: The guest within the guest
This stage of development refers to the un-awakened person, whose identity completely revolves around the guest, and who has no awareness whatever of the Host.

Stage 2: The guest within the Host
This stage refers to the initial stages of our meditation. At this stage our identity often still gets lost in the guest; in our thoughts, feelings, and body. However, we are aware of a ‘higher or deeper level’ of being, the Host, and our life begins to be informed by it.

Stage 3: The Host within the Guest.
At this stage out sense of self has substantially transitioned to the Host, which becomes is the main driving force in our life and actions. The guest still occasionally becomes unhappy and tries to take charge, but by this time the Host is usually in the driving seat.

Stage 4: The Host within the Host.
At this stage we have achieved a stable experience of enlightenment; our identity is firmly centered in the Host, and it is the Host that always guides the activities of the guest. We are no longer caught up in the illusory games of the guest, but are able to use our transient ego as an expression of our formless enlightened nature.

Some of the Pertinent questions to ourselves in our meditation and daily life to start centering ourselves around the Host:

Where is my identity focused right now, within the Host or guest?
Which aspects of the guest (thoughts/mind, senses) does my sense of self most often get mixed up in?
Where is the Host within me right now?

The journey of Zen is one that takes us from our current obsessional identity with the form level of our being to a core identity based around Consciousness itself, the Host. It is an unfolding PROCESS that progressively reveals the Enlightened nature that is already within us, here and now.

Related article: Witnessing the witness

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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Scratching out your name card, & other gateways to Zen

Post author By Toby
Post date September 1, 2025

“What might happen if you temporarily put down your identification with the job title that you carry on your name card, you just scratched it out for a while?”

Dear Integral Meditators,

On the 23^rd of August I led a Zen meditation on the ‘Man or woman of no rank’ at the One Heart open day. This theme is one of what I like to call ‘the gateways of Zen’, you can listen to the meditation we did by clicking on the link.

In the article below I talk a little about the idea of the person of no rank, and share a short story related to it. If you enjoy the meditation & the article, then do consider participating in the Zen sessions that start this week, weekdays, or Saturdays, or both. You can participate in person, online or via the recordings!

In the spirit of label-less-ness,

Toby

PS: Full details of all events in September below article!

Scratching out your name card, & other gateways to Zen meditation

What might happen if you temporarily put down your identification with the job title that you carry on your name card, You just scratched it out for a while?
What would happen if you did something similar with other roles that you identify with;

Your family roles as a parent, child, or sibling?
Your identification with gender roles, nationality of culture?
Your age, your personality ‘type’?
The story that you carry around with you almost all the time?
What if you even forgot your name?

To put down your labels in this way is to become a ‘man or woman of no rank, and is one of the gateways to Zen. The traditional story below illustrates this quite vividly.

Zen Story: The Governor’s Card

In the city of Kyoto, there lived a great Zen master called Keichu. He was the head of Tofoku, a huge cathedral in the city. Keichu held sway over his jurisdiction and was well-respected for his astute perceptiveness.
When Kitagaki took over as the Governor of the city of Kyoto, he heard much about Keichu’s wisdom. Deciding to pay his respects, Kitagaki called upon Keichu one evening. Upon reaching the cathedral, Kitagaki presented his business card to Keichu’s attendant and asked for an audience with the Zen Master. The attendant asked Kitagaki to wait and went inside to give the card to Keichu.
“Master, there is someone here to see you,” the attendant announced.
“Who is it?” Keichu asked.
The attendant gave Keichu the Governor’s calling card which read: Kitagaki, Governor of Kyoto.
“I have nothing to do with this fellow!” bellowed Keichu, throwing the card in disgust. “Tell him to leave right away!” he said, turning to the attendant. The attendant picked up the calling card and dashed to the hall where Kitagaki was waiting. “My apologies, dear Sir,” he said. “The Master does not wish to see you,” he told the Governor, remorsefully returning his card.
Kitagaki was startled. He took his card and was about to leave when he read the words on his card. Realizing his folly at once, the Governor took a pencil and scratched out something from his card. “That was my mistake,” he told the attendant, giving him the calling card again. “Would you please be kind enough to ask your Master one more time?”
The attendant returned to Keichu’s chamber and handed him the Governor’s card again. The card now simply read: Kitagaki. The Governor had scratched out the words, ‘Governor of Kyoto.’
Keichu read the card and his eyes lit up.
“Oh, it is Kitagaki? Yes, I would like to see him now; send him in please!” he told his attendant.
And that’s how the Governor of Kyoto got an audience with the Zen Master Keichu.

Related reading: Becoming a man or woman of no rank
Meditation spaghetti western style

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Tuesday 2nd & 3rd September, 7.30-8.30pm, & then weekly – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Saturday 6th September, 5.30-6.15pm, & then weekly – Zen meditation Deep-dive – A 10 session practice series

Saturday 20th September, 5.30-6.30pm – Autumn equinox balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 20th September, 9am 12.30pm – The Six Healing sounds: Qi gong for Self-Healing & Inner Balance Workshop

17 Oct 2025, 8am-12pm & 21 Nov 2025, 8am-12pm – The wisdom of Zen meditation practice retreat & course, levels 1&2

Saturday 29th November, 7-9pm – Living Life From Your Inner Center – Meditations for Going With the Flow of the Present Moment

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Not thinking about thinking – A Zen approach to non-conceptual awareness

Post author By Toby
Post date August 18, 2025

“Often, we feel like we must escape our thoughts to get into meditation. Not thinking about thinking turns our thoughts into a doorway to meditation, & a space of calm amidst any inner storm”

Dear Integral Meditators,

One of the deep and abiding pleasures of meditation is that of being able to sit in a state of non-conceptual awareness. One of the reasons people don’t achieve this is because in their minds they think it must be really difficult to achieve, it must be a lot of effort. In reality, achieving non-conceptual awareness is more a matter of trying smarter, rather than trying harder! The article below explores how to start relaxing into the pleasure of non-thinking.

If you enjoy the article, there are many sessions on non-cenceptual meditation coming up that you can join live, online of via the recording; The One Heart Zen open day, The upcoming Zen classes & deep dive sessions, and the Finding your inner-center workshop. Further details via the links.

In the spirit of non-conceptuality,

Toby

Not thinking about thinking – A Zen approach to non-conceptual awareness (AKA cultivating Prajnic awareness)

Non-conceptuality – A central practice for awakening

In the Tibetan school of Buddhism I spent my first decade of meditation training in back in the 1990’s, the main meditation was the meditation on emptiness. A central way of understanding emptiness is that it is simply non-conceptual awareness; the ability to see and be with things as they are, rather than as we think they are. Another word for non-conceptual awareness is ‘prajnic-awareness’,

To give a slightly more rounded sense of the word prajna, here is a quote from the Wikipeida page on it: Prajñā is often translated as “wisdom”, but according to Buddhist bioethics scholar Damien Keown, it is closer in meaning to “insight”, “non-discriminating knowledge”, or “intuitive apprehension”

The meditation on non-conceptual wisdom is a central practice all the Mahayana schools of Buddhism, Tibetan, Japanese Zen, Chinese Chan. So, when we cultivate it, we are cultivating a lineage of meditation that has a long and central role in the practice of awakening and enlightenment! Perhaps more importantly, accessing non-conceptual awareness enables us to find a place of reliable peace and wellbeing amid stress, uncertainty, emotional upheaval and all variety of life challenges. If you make it a part of your experience, you can find the ‘calm amidst the storm’ wherever you are and wherever you go.

Cultivating non-conceptual awareness

One simple trick to start cultivating non-conceptual awareness is to deliberately try and be aware of several things at the same time. For example:

The sky above you
The earth beneath you
Your breathing
The overall sensation of your body

Your senses
Your emotional state
Your thoughts
Awareness itself, or the simple experience of being conscious

You can create your own variations.

Spend a bit of time cultivating an awareness of each domain, getting a feeling for each. Then put them all together and try and be aware of all of them simultaneously. To do this, you have to stop thinking and just be aware. You can’t be aware of 3-4 thigs at the same time AND think about them! So, what this does is it ‘traps’ or ‘tricks’ you into just looking, just being aware. This then gives you a gateway to the actual experience of non-conceptual awareness, or prajnic-awareness. If you do this then you are practising ‘seeing without thinking’, ‘awareness without thoughts’.
If you continue to meditate in this way, then you will start to drop deeper and deeper into non-conceptual awareness (aka consciousness-itself, or emptiness), which is the gateway to realizing the awakened or enlightened state in many of the great wisdom schools of the world.

Not thinking about thinking – A Zen approach to non-conceptual meditation

Another fun ‘meditation game’ you can play is with thoughts themselves. Watch your thoughts. Normally you will notice that you will them have thoughts about the thoughts; judgments, assessments, thoughts on other related subjects etc… So here, the practice is to experience any thought that comes up simply as itself, without thinking or reflecting upon it. Here we are practising turning our conceptual awareness into a doorway to non-conceptual awareness. If that sounds quite Zen and paradoxical, it is because it is!
Normally we feel like we have to escape our thoughts to get into meditation. Not thinking about thinking turns our thoughts into a doorway to meditation and prajnic-awareness. You might think of this as a ‘trick for the wise’, try it in your own practice, you may be pleasantly surprised.

Related reading: Prajna – Seeing things from all angles & none
Non-Dual meditation & Organismic reality

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Saturday 23rd August, 3-4.30pm – One Heart Open Day: Sound of Zen meditation with singing bowls

Saturday 30th August, 7-9pm – Living Life From Your Inner Center – Meditations for Going With the Flow of the Present Moment

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, non-conceptual awareness, power of mind, prajna, prajnic meditation, Zen meditation