Category: Insight Meditation

You already have what you seek – Meditating from wholeness

Post author By Toby
Post date June 15, 2026

“You are whole, a lot of the things you seek, you have already. Proceed from there”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at approaching meditation, & life from a perspective of wholeness, & noticing how much easier it can make things!

Head’s up for the Mindful Resilience workshop – Practices for sustaining effectiveness, happiness & clarity under pressure that I’ll be doing on the 28th June, I also talk about an approach to improving resilience in the article…

In the spirit of the effortless,

Toby

You already have what you seek – Meditating from wholeness

Meditating to express your awakened nature

One of my favourite expressions from Zen meditation is ‘You don’t meditate to attain awakening, you meditate to express it.’ What this means is that, you already have an awakened, whole and complete essential nature, so you don’t need to achieve it, you need to recognize it! Initially it can be difficult for us to relate to ourselves as whole right from the start of our practice, but this is what Zen and other forms of meditation invite us to do. It means inverting the usual ‘doing something to achieve something’ mentality, and relate to your wholeness, in the sense of having awakened nature right now.
There are also ways in which we can meditate in a wise way, where instead of trying to achieve something, we simply recognize that it is already there. Here are three examples that I have bee working with over this weekend with coachees and students.

The presence of stillness and silence

‘I wish my mind could be more still, but it’s so hard!’ Really? Reflect upon the environment you are in right now; the sounds and activity are all contained by the stillness and space that enables your environment. There is loads of physical space and stillness. Inwardly, yes you may have many thoughts, but they are arising in the open space of your awareness, which Is pervaded by stillness and silence. With a bit of skilful attention, we start to see that we are swimming in stillness and silence, like a fish in water!

The feeling of being alive, now

Why are you trying to achieve things? So that at upon achieving that thing, you can then really have the feeling of being fully alive. But wait, you are also alive right now, perhaps if you can open more fully to the simple feeling of being alive in the moment, you can experience the fulfilment and joy of it today, now, without waiting until you achieve your goals.

How much happiness can you accept?

We all have our problems, and those problems can make us unhappy at times, no doubt. But there are also many things in your life great and small that can be causes of happiness. If you can relate to those things now, and accept the happiness that is on offer. This way you can have genuine happiness now, right away. This happiness will then help you deal with your challenges and problems more effectively.

Getting resilience from your resilience

Relating to yourself and life from a position of wholeness
Realizing that you already have what you are looking for in many ways

These are the two essential principles here. I use them in many ways, both in my own life, and in my teachings. For example, in the mindful resilience workshop that I teach, the first practice is to:

“Understanding the different levels of mindful resilience and tapping into the inner resilience that you already have (but may not be leveraging effectively upon)”

So right off the bat, I encourage participants to relate to their resilience as something that they already have, rather than something they lack and need to ‘achieve’. All of this is to say that it is an approach that is ergonomic and flowing, sailing with life rather than struggling against it.

You are whole, a lot of the things you seek, you have already. Proceed from there.

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, resilience, wholeness

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Why non-dual meditation should be your go-to practice

Post author By Toby
Post date June 8, 2026

“Non-duality is a view of our experience that invites effortlessness and flow. Integrating it into your practice invites this experience of effortlessness into your life, now.”

Dear Integral Meditators,
This week’s article looks at non-dual meditation, why it is great to make as a central part of your meditation, and how to get started with a simple non-dual breathing practice.

If you are looking for a rich way to integrate non-dual meditation into your life, this week sees the start of the Wednesday evening & Saturday afternoon chakra’s & non-duality meditation programs, they will also be the subject of the Saturday noon meditation masterclass series at Space2B that I run.

In the spirit of the effortless,

Toby

Why non-dual meditation should be your go-to practice

What is non-dual meditation?

Non-dual meditation is a type of meditation that emerged in the 6^th-8^th centuries, explicitly within the eastern Buddhist, Taoist and Hindu (eg Vedanta) traditions, but also implicitly within the western esoteric traditions of the time. Essentially it focuses on the collapse of the subject-object divide within our consciousness into a ‘Just This’ experience. Before that time, the vast majority of meditation was dualistic in nature; there was a subject of consciousness, the ‘I’, meditating on an object of consciousness, this object could be:

Something obvious, like the breathing, “I am focusing mindfully on my breathing”
Something more subtle, like my mind, “I am aware of my thoughts”
Something really subtle, for example “I am aware of my formless timeless consciousness”

Whatever you meditated on, there was a subject and an object of consciousness.

Why it’s a great practice to make your go-to practice

Non-dual meditation is a great practice to make front and centre of your daily meditation because:

It offers access to an effortless level of stress transformation – Non-duality is a view of our experience that invites effortlessness and flow. Integrating into your practice invites this experience of effortlessness into your life, now.
It is the final destination of all meditations. In all of the different great meditation traditions of the world, non-dual reality is the ‘highest’ attainment, the final destination. Since it is that, you may as well bring it in today!
You can practice it on the level you are at – Non-dual meditation is deep but simple. You can practice it on the level you are at today, and have some degree of success. You don’t need to wait until you get ‘better’.
You can integrate your other meditations into your non-dual practice. You can MAKE your current meditation into a non-dual meditation, simply by changing your perspective on it. Non-duality is a VIEW of reality, if you integrate it into your current meditation, it becomes a non-dual practice. For example, in the Chakra meditation series I am about to teach this week, it integrates Chakra meditation with non-duality, which is a great, and very do-able combination!
You being the result into the path – Non-dual meditation focuses on the recognition that awakening is not something you achieve, it is something that you ARE. This is a wonderful understanding to integrate into your daily life; you are already whole and complete as you are, right now!
It is fantastic for living in the world – Non-dual meditation enables us to transform everyday activities into our spiritual practice in ways that would be difficult otherwise. It’s a type of technology that really helps you be ‘in the world but not of the world’.

A simple example

Non-dual breathing meditation – Settle into a rhythm focusing on your breathing, just like a normal mindful breathing meditation. Notice that in the meditation there is a sense of an ‘I’ or self that is focusing on the breathing. Once you have a certain degree of focus and relaxation, gently ‘drop’ the I, so that it is just the breathing doing itself. There is no subject or object of consciousness, just the breathing. Put another way, the ‘self’ is experienced as nothing more than the breathing. To quote Shunryu Suzuki:

“The inner world is limitless, and the outer world is also limitless. We say “inner world” and outer world,” but in reality, there is just one whole world, our throat is like a swinging door. The air comes in and goes out like someone passing through a swinging door. If you think “I breathe,” the I is extra.”

So, one really simple example there, we’ll be looking at seven simple examples in the chakra meditation & non-duality course, which, I promise will be a whole lot of fun!

Related reading: The swinging door – when the breathing does itself
Non-Dual meditation & Organismic reality
Practical dimensions of chakra meditation

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Watch Toby’s video on chakra meditation & non-duality:

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

12noon on Saturday – Meditation Masterclass Series at Space2B

Starts on Wednesday June 10^th, 7.30-8.30pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self -an 8-week course

Starts Saturday June 13^th, 5.30-6.45pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self – an 8-session deep-dive practice series

Sat 20th, 5.30pm & Weds 24th June, 7.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, non-dual meditation, power of mind

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No such thing as a bad situation? – Mindful life-sculpting

Post author By Toby
Post date June 1, 2026

“How can you create, or ‘sculpt’ your present experience into something valuable, worthwhile, fulfilling? What if it was not primarily about it, but you?”

Dear <<First Name>>,

This week’s article looks at the theme of mindful-life sculpting, where you use your mind & attention to ‘sculpt’ your expereince. As a sculptor by training, its a perenially interesting theme for me.

A reminder of the Wednesday evening & Saturday afternoon chakra meditation & non-duality summer courses. If you are looking for methods that are both profoundly relaxing & transformative, do have a look!
Programs can be participated in live, online or via the recordngs. Click below for full details.

In the spirit of energised relaxation,

Toby

No such thing as a bad situation? – Mindful life-sculpting

No such thing as a bad sculpture

Twice in my degree in the fine arts, specializing in sculpture, I was told by one of the art tutors who taught me “Actually, after you have been making sculptures a while, one of the things that you realize is that there is no such thing as a bad sculpture.” That they meant by this is that, after a while you realize that every object has a certain quality, and that, if you can work your way around to seeing it, you can appreciate, enjoy and even value it.

Your own life from this perspective

In your own life you may have come across many experiences and situations that look a bit like a ‘bad sculpture’. By this I mean that initially you react with a strong negative judgment about it; “This is bad because”:

It’s not what I wanted…
It’s not what I’m used to…
It’s not what I was expecting…
It gets in the way of….

The reasons can go on and on. But then perhaps you have found over time that,

It not what you wanted, but there are certain advantages to it, now I have been living with it for a couple of weeks…
It’s not what you were used to, but now you are starting to see how what you were used to was holding you back in certain ways…
It’s not what I was expecting, but why was I thinking that what I was expecting was going to be the best thing for me anyway?…
It got in the way of this goal, but now there is more room for this other possibility to manifest in my life…

No such thing as a bad situation?

So then, the extension of the ‘no bad sculptures’ idea is perhaps, that there are no bad situations? And that actually it’s more a ‘mindset limitation’ that is the issue…

Last week I discussed halving the work commitment I have toward an organization. In these uncertain times that might seem like a ‘bad’ thing, but actually I need to create space in my work schedule, as it is getting over crowded
I tried to create room for doing some physical sculpture at the end of last year, but I wasn’t able to. Maybe this is inviting me to double down in the idea of my life as my ‘sculpture’, and that I am doing great!
My sleep has not been fantastic over the last couple of weeks, but maybe this is helping me to see how much new capacity I have to cope and thrive in life, even when my sleep is not optimal…

What if there were no bad situations in your life?

What if it was more a matter of you seeing the value in what you are going through? If you are the most powerful creative force in your life, how can you create, or ‘sculpt’ your present experience into something valuable, worthwhile, fulfilling? What if it was not primarily about it, but you?

Related articles: Using distractions, sculpting thoughts, softening the body
Being the center of your universe

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Starts on Wednesday June 10^th, 7.30-8.30pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self -an 8-week course

Starts Saturday June 13^th, 5.30-6.45pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self – an 8-session deep-dive practice series

Sat 20th, 5.30pm & Weds 24th June, 7.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Tags creative mindfulness, inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindful sculpting, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

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Mindful of – the quest for safety & excitement

Post author By Toby
Post date April 20, 2026

“How can you start co-creating a greater sense of both safety & excitement in your life today?”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at how to transform conflicting desires into complementary desires. Its a topic that comes up quite often in my Life-fullness life coaching, and in my executive coaching, and getting a hang for it can open up lots of positive possibilties.

This week’s Wednesday & Saturday class continue our inner-smile meditation, with the focus being on ‘Meditating on the lungs & on transforming sadness/depression, cultivating courage.’ All welcome!

In the spirit of integration,

Toby

The quest for both safety and excitement

Our contradictory desires

One of the challenges that we face to our sense of even-mindedness in life is that we have desires. Not just desires, but conflicting desires that actively seem to be pulling against each other!

We want safety and excitement in life
We want money but also plenty of free time
We want our body to look good, but don’t want to suffer from exertion

The list could go on, but I want to just double click on the safety and excitement and look at that as a primary example. One of our most feared emotions is, well, fear itself! Many of us feel uncomfortable about fear, and act to avoid it, and its subsidiaries, insecurity and anxiety. We desire safety, physically, psychologically, spiritually, and take out the element of risk, uncertainty, and danger (real or perceived). In an attempt to experience safety:

We choose to trade the hours of our day for work that pays a salary
We settle into a predictable romantic relationship
We stay with known patterns and activities in our life

The issue with this then becomes that our life feels boring, predictable, unexciting. This then blocks another common desire, the desire for excitement in life, for variety, change, growth, adventure! To get excitement in our life we have to create a degree of risk, an encountering of the unknown, a place where the result is not guaranteed.

If we aren’t careful, we find ourself locked between the horns of these two desires. Our desire for safety stifles the excitement we crave. The excitement we crave threatens our sense of safety and stability. Either way we are unhappy, or feel unhappy because it looks like a loose-loose paradigm, we feel condemned by the contradiction.

From contradictory to complementary – Both and, not either or

In my Life-fullness life coaching, and in my executive coaching, quite a lot of what I do is help people spot contradictions or conflicts in their life, and work on balancing them out, turning them into mutually enhancing polarities that can propel them toward a better experience. In the case of safety and excitement, I can create a greater sense of safety by:

Recognizing that I am physically safe almost all the time, and that the illusion of danger on the biological level is often merely an imbalance in my nervous system
I can create psychological safety by choosing to be mindful of my inner narrative, supporting myself, not attacking myself
I can articulate my vision of a greater intelligence in the universe that is benevolent toward me, thus learning to recognize and rest in a sense of spiritual safety

By cultivating in this way, I can feel more secure in life, satisfying my desire for safety. Having done this, I can then use that sense of safety to take more positive risk, and court excitement in my life! With my broader sense of safety, I can:

Be a bit more socially daring/entertaining, without being afraid of judgments
I can assert my wishes and desires for a fulfilling work life, not just staying silent and keeping on keeping on for fear of change
I can take up activities I am not yet good at but want to be, and not be so afraid of looking foolish as I do so

With my healthy sense of safety, I can cultivate MORE excitement in my life, and my desire for both becomes a mutually supporting, virtuous cycle.
How can you start co-creating a greater sense of safety and excitement in your life today?

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Ongoing on Wednesdays – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Ongoing on Saturdays – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Saturday 25th April, 2.30-4.30pm – Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

Awareness and insight Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

Are you building self-esteem or self-alienation?

Post author By Toby
Post date April 13, 2026

“What are the areas of your life that you tend to get stuck in self-alienation? How can you start using self-acceptance in these situations, strengthening your self-esteem in the process?”

Dear Integral Meditators,

In this week’s article I look at self-alienation as an object of mindful enquiry. In my view self-alienation is a common, pervasive issue for many people. If we can start to see it, we can start to deal with it! It is a topic that comes up with regularity in both my shadow coaching work, and my therpeutic mindfulness coaching.

If the subject interests you, then you might enjoy the Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass on Saturday 25th April, 2.30-4.30pm.

In the spirit of integration,

Toby

Are you building self-esteem or self-alienation?

Self-esteem is

One way of thinking about self esteem is as having two parts:

The part that considers ourself to be worthy of happiness and to have value
The part of us that feels capable and effective in the face of life and life’s challenges

If you have self-esteem as a foundational building block of your psychological experience of life, it will affect almost everything else in a positive way.

Self-alienation is

Self-Alienation happens whenever we turn away from, reject, or repress awareness of an aspect of ourself. We literally cut ourselves off from a part of who we are, and this part becomes a stranger to, or alienated from our conscious self. Nathaniel Branden wrote a book ‘The disowned self’ on the subject of all the different ways in which we alienate ourself from ourself. It mostly does not happen consciously, very few people wake up saying to themselves “Today I am going to practice self-alienation, and dis-own different parts of myself.” Nevertheless, without knowing it many of us do exactly this, without understanding that it is happening, or how we are doing it.

Why & how we create self-alienation when trying to create self-esteem

Let’s say I am deeply disappointed about not getting a job opportunity that I had interviewed for and had a good chance of getting. To protect myself from the difficult feelings and ‘lowness’ of feeling disappointed (and like a ‘loser’) I repress them, banishing them from my consciousness. By doing this I am trying to protect my self-esteem, but what I am really doing is alienating myself from the part of me that feels disappointed. This ‘disappointed self’ is the very part of me needing support and acknowledgement in that moment. Instead, I turn away from him and disown him.
In this example my instinctive efforts to protect my self-esteem actually sabotage it, and make me weaker by cutting myself off from a part of me. Secondarily, and just as importantly, sub-consciously a part of me will know that I have done this, and will know that we have ‘betrayed ourself’ on some fundamental level. This further lowers our REAL self-esteem, but tragically it has been done to protect the very self-esteem that we are damaging.

Self-acceptance as a route to genuine self-esteem

Let us say that, in the face of my disappointment over the job opportunity, instead of repressing and alienating my disappointment I turn towards it, acknowledging and accepting it. I allow myself to feel and experience my emotions, expressing a degree of understanding and care toward the part of me in pain. By bringing into consciousness the wounded part, and choosing to accept and look after it I:

Increase my self-esteem by displaying both courage and competency in the face of a challenge
I keep my personality from being divided against itself, it remains interconnected and in integrity
I actually pass through the disappointment much more quickly, feeling much more resilient and adaptable as a result

Self-acceptance becomes a route to higher self-confidence and self-esteem, preventing the disastrous (and often unconscious) results of self-alienation and dis-association.

What are the areas of your life that you tend to get stuck in self-alienation? How can you start using self-acceptance in these situations, strengthening your self-esteem in the process?

Related reading: Choosing to be on Your Own Side
Motivating Yourself to Meditate Part 2 – Meeting Your Deeper & Higher Needs Through Meditation

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing on Wednesdays – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Ongoing on Saturdays – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Saturday 25th April, 2.30-4.30pm – Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, self-alienation, self-esteem

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Which type of meditator are you? ( & muddy water article)

Post author By Toby
Post date March 30, 2026

“’Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone’. The tricky thing is that with a busy mind, where there is conflicting or competing energies, this is often the last thing that we feel like doing!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week I’ll be doing a couple of open talks and meditations on the five types of meditators:

Wednesday 1^st April is online only
Saturday 4^th April is Live in person & online

Details and links are below. If you are not able to make the sessions live, but want to have a listen, let me know & I’ll be happy to send the recordings on…

Beneath the session details you can find this weeks artcle on ‘Muddy water – Meditation as waiting, allowing’.

In the spirit of integral meditation,

Toby

Wednesday April 1^st, 7.30-8.30pm & Saturday, 4^th April, 5-6pm – Which meditator are you? – Free meditation seminars: The five types of meditators & how to build your path to inner freedom

Read full details…

This week’s article: Muddy water – Meditation as waiting & allowing

Back when I was teaching meditation classes as a monk, we used to use the analogy of muddy water to explain meditation. It is quite well known, and you may have heard of it yourself. It basically says that a busy mind is like muddy water; if you leave it to stand for long enough, the mud will settle and the water becomes clear. There are a couple of ‘sources’ for this analogy:

1. In chapter 15 of the Tao te ching, Lao Tsu refers to it:
“Clear as a glass of water.
Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?”

2. It can also be found in the Buddhist sutras, specifically the Surangama sutra, where it says:
“It (meditation) is like purifying muddy water by placing it in a quiet vessel which is kept completely still and unmoving. The sand and silt settle, and the pure water appears. This is called the initial subduing of the guest-dust affliction.”

3. More recently Alan watts refers to it in his teachings in ‘the way of Zen’, where he says “Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone”

The main thing I want to emphasize here is that clarity is achieved through leaving alone and waiting. It is very difficult for us to try to clear our mind in meditation, but the effort itself prevents us from letting the ‘mud’ of our mind settle, and achieve clarity. The clarity is ‘achieved’ essentially by:

Waiting
Watching
Letting alone
Being patient
Doing precisely nothing, the less the better!

So then, you could consider it a perfectly valid meditation practice just to sit down and wait. The key here would be to do nothing else; just sit, wait, relax. The tricky thing is that with a busy mind, where there is conflicting or competing energies, this is often the last thing that we feel like doing! We want to:

Get rid of the conflict
‘Achieve’ clarity
Escape from, not have to face, what is within us
Get it done quickly

All of this makes it quite difficult to do nothing other than wait, watch and allow.

Mastering, or at least getting better at this waiting process in meditation then starts to bleed into our daily life. Where we start to see that we can achieve several things much more easily by waiting and non-doing, rather than striving and getting busy. We start to access the art of Wu-wei, or doing-by-non-doing. This is a way of getting things done that is complementary, not contradictory to our striving and achieving approach. Indeed, it can make our striving and achieving more skilful and relaxed when we realize we don’t have to try quite as hard as we thought. Rather it is a matter of trying smarter rather than trying harder…

Related article: Effortless effort – Making everything workable
Relaxing into, not fighting with your fatigue

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing weekly on Wednesday – Beginners mind, resilient body – a 10-week integral meditation course

Wednesday April 1^st, 7.30-8.30pm & Saturday, 4^th April, 5-6pm – Which meditator are you? – Free meditation seminars: The five types of meditators & how to build your path to inner freedom

Starts Wednesday 8^th April, 7.30-8.30pm, & then ongoing – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Saturday 11^th April, 5.30-6.15pm SG time, & then ongoing – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Saturday 11^th April, 5.30-6.15pm SG time, & then ongoing – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Your inner voice & tone of presence

Post author By Toby
Post date January 5, 2026

“We often talk to ourself too much, sometimes unskilfully, but it is also possible to talk to little, when we could really do with a voice of support from within”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article is a complementary to my one from a few weeks ago on Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself. Both articles point to some psycho-dynamic mindfulness practices that can have a dramatic empowering effect on your experience!

Before the article are details of the main courses and workshops for January, your welcome to come on the journey of any or all of them!

In the spirit of mindful inner chatter,

Toby

Starts Tues 13^th, Weds 14^th January, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body – a 10-week integral meditation course

Starts Saturday 17^th January, 5.30-6.15pm, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body deep-dive: An 11 -session practice series

In a sentence: Combine the mental agility, flexibility & wisdom of a beginner’s mind with resilient energy levels with these ‘integral cross-training’ meditation course!

Saturday 24th January, 9.00am-12.30pm – Meditation and Mindfulness for Self-Healing and Creating High Levels of Energy

Learn how you can use meditation and mindfulness order to accelerate the healing of a physical health condition, create higher levels of energy in your body and/or break through difficult energy patterns in your physical body that are affecting your mental and emotional wellbeing…read full details

Article: Your inner voice & tone of presence, overactive or not active enough?

This is a complementary article to my one from a few weeks ago on Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself.
Our inner voice accompanies much of our experience, narrating, judging and commenting on our experience, creating and adding to our perception of what we think we are going through…
As well as our tone of voice, there is also what I would call our ‘tone of presence’. This is the mood, atmosphere, and way of being present to ourself as we go through the day. It is distinct from our inner voice in the sense that it is not a voice, but a presence, an energy.

Our inner voice and tone of presence play off each other. A harsh judgment from our inner voice can lead to a sense of energetic or emotional presence that feels oppressive and stifling. Contrastingly, a gentle mood and energy of presence can lead to the expression of an accepting, loving inner voice.

If you reflect on how these two have been interacting within you today, what do you notice or observe?

Ideally, we want a tone of presence and inner voice that are mutually aware and re-enforce each other in ways that are constructive and balanced, promoting a sense of inner wholeness and integrity. However, it is all too easy for them to becoming mutually antagonistic, dividing us against ourselves, and setting up spirals of imbalance and conflict.
Here are some overactive and under active expressions of our voice and tone of presence, as well as their higher and lower expressions.

Overactive inner voice, oppressive tone of presence

In this scenario, we are taking and narrating to ourselves a lot, in a neurotic manner. It’s like sitting next to someone on an aeroplane who just won’t shut up. The underlying tone of presence is accordingly anxious, and characterised by emotions such as fear, anger, blame, regret and so on. This almost always makes what we are going through more difficult. I’m sure you can think of examples from your own experience of this.
When we notice ourself becoming triggered in this way, the direction we want to emphasise is:

A slower, gentler, more compassionate inner voice
A warmer, more inwardly supportive tone of presence

Under active inner voice, absence rather than presence

An under active inner voice is when we could be, should be talking ourself through something in a pro-active, supportive manner. But instead we just ‘go silent’ or ‘freeze’ like a rabbit in the headlights. Our inner voice is absent where it should be talking pro-activelly!
In terms of our tone of presence, this can manifest as a kind of absence, or non-presence. We are trying to escape the discomfort of where we are by being absent energetically, rather than present! Again, you will find it quite easy to find examples from your own experience of this.
Corrections for under activity include:

Waking up and being pro-active with our inner voice, encouraging ourself skilfully and appropriately
Bringing supportive, attentive presence to the situation, being alert to possibilities

Practice points for growing à balanced inner voice, harmonised
presence include:

Get used to watching and being aware of your inner voice and tone of presence
Reducing/recalibrating their impulsiveness, speed and energy where appropriate
Increasing presence and supportive inner chatter where it is needed

What situation in your life can you start practicing around this today?

Related article: Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself

Post author By Toby
Post date December 15, 2025

“The most important conversations you are having are the inner ones that you are having with yourself. Has what you have been saying today inwardly helped or hindered you?”

Dear Toby,

This week’s article looks at the inner conversation that we all have with ourselves, and how to start working with it mindfully…

A couple of free seasonal meditations coming up, the Winter solstice & new year online sessions, you are all invited!

In the spirit of self-talk,

Toby

Article: Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself

Most of the time you are talking to yourself

For almost all people, there is an internal conversation we are having with ourself all the time. It is probably the most important conversation you are having because:

As mentioned, it is going on almost all the time, whether someone else is around or not
If it is working for you, it can be an almost constant source of support, encouragement, and resilience
If it is working against you, it is an almost constant source of discouragement, conflict, and weakness
You can’t escape it by running away. Unlike other people, the voice follows you wherever you go!

Noticing the conversation & making adjustments

Step one then could be to recognize the inner conversation and acknowledge its importance. This can then be a motivator to start working with it. To start working with it, we need to start to watch it and notice what’s going on as we talk to ourselves!
As in all mindfulness practice just becoming aware of it, and starting to study it as an object of consciousness can be profoundly transformative. Based on your observation, you can then practice making small, skilful interventions in the conversation that make it more balanced and useful for you. For example, there is a tremendous difference between
“You’ve just wasted half an hour procrastinating, you idiot, why do you always do that”
And:
“Its normal for me to take half an hour or so to settle into my work, lets see if I can make it just twenty minutes today!”
It’s not rocket science, but it can make a big impact, particularly if we do it regularly, and start to get the compound effect going!

Learning to suspend the conversation

Part of the joy of meditation of course, is to learn that you can actually switch the conversation off, what a relief! Ways to begin the conversation suspension include:

Watching the spaces between the words in your inner conversation, dropping into them and gradually extending them
Placing short pauses between your inbreath and out breath, practising suspending the conversation just for those pauses

Exercises such as there help to build familiarity with the state of silence, even when our mind is still quite active

Being pro-active about the conversation

A final method that I can’t recommend highly enough is to activate your ‘inner life-coach’. This means you are taking charge of your inner conversation and saying things to yourself that are encouraging, supportive, balanced, and wise as you go through your day. Being pro-active about this conversation when I play sport is the single best and most consistent tool I have found to bring my best performance out. But, and more importantly, if life is the sport, and today, right now is ‘game day,’ then the time to activate this capacity within yourself is now!
Sometimes it may feel like being pro-active like this takes a lot of work. But then its a lot more work living with a miserable, oppressive inner voice. So you may as well engage in the inner work that is taking you somewhere, rather than just being miserable and running round in circles!

Practicum

Set aside time to watch your inner conversation with a degree of curious objectivity
Practice making small skilful interventions
Practice ceasing the conversation for short periods
Cultivate your ‘inner life-coach’!

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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Connecting to your magical self or inner Magician

Post author By Toby
Post date November 26, 2025

“Magic means being able to change one level of our reality by working on it from the level, or plane above it”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article is the first part of a re-work of an old article of mine on your ‘inner magician’, with part 2 next week.
If you enjoy it, then you might enjoy coming along to the Wednesday and Saturday bright shadow meditations, which are magical in the way described below.

Heads up for the last workshop of the year, Saturday 13th December, 9am-12.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop, also very much an ‘evolutionary magical’ focus here.

In the spirit of your inner magician,

Toby

Connecting to your magical self or inner Magician

I have recently been working on re-titling and writing notes for some artworks that I completed back in 2005. The first of these “The Magician” you can see in the image on this page. The image itself is meant as a way of visually connecting to our “Inner Magician”. The inner magician is that part of our inner self that is both creative and magical, and that if we harness it effectively has the power to change our daily life and experience for the better.

Who or what is our inner magician?

Here is a working definition:

“The higher expression of our inner magician is that part of self that is able to work with the higher, evolutionary or developmental expression of magic.”

Magic in this context means the following:

1) Being able to affect or change one level of our reality by working on it from the level, or plane of reality above it.
2) Engaging our creative imagination vividly and consciously to “sculpt” our experience of any given situation for the better.
3) Not being content to let good ideas remain in our head, but actively finding ways of expressing those ideas concretely in our daily life.

Let’s take a closer look at these three aspects of magic:

1) Being able to affect or change one level of our reality by working on it from the level or plane of reality above it.
In its simplest terms this means that you use your mental or thought-based mind to change your physical and emotional reality for the better, and you use your spiritual or intuitive mind (which operates on a level beyond thought) to change your thinking patterns for the better.

A simple example might be this:

If I experience physical pain because of an injury or illness I use my thinking mind to be constructive, telling myself that the pain won’t last forever, and encouraging myself to practice patience. This is using my thoughts to positively affect my physical reality.
If I find myself having repetitive dissonant thoughts about my pain and illness, then I can temporarily suspend my thinking (this is really where meditation comes into the picture) and move into a state of mind beyond thought. Doing this enables me to release the momentum of all the imbalanced thoughts that I was having, so that my mind becomes a “clean slate” so to speak which I can then replace the cycle of ‘negative’ thoughts with more appropriate and affirmative ones.

So, thinking mind works magic on physical world and emotions, spiritual/non-conceptual mind works to affect and control the thinking mind.

Looking at this example, you might think that this is simply working skillfully and creatively with your mind and consciousness to affect your bodily experience, but in terms of the way we are talking about it, that is exactly what a large part of functional magic is!

I’ll be posting a part 2 of this article next week, or if you like you can read the full original article here.

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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Starts Saturday 15th November, 5.30-6.15pm SG time – Bright shadow meditation Deep-dive – A 5 session practice series

Saturday 29th November, 7-9pm – Living Life From Your Inner Center – Meditations for Going With the Flow of the Present Moment

Saturday 13th December, 9am-12.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop

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Journeying with your shadow self – Free recording, video & upcoming courses

Post author By Toby
Post date October 21, 2025

“As we gather our shadow back into our I, our I starts to feel strong, resilient and whole in ways that we had forgotten was possible”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s newsletter has the links to:

An introductory talk on shadow meditation & work that I did last year
An article on the shadow entitled “Id to ego, It to I; The essence of shadow integration“
A five minute video on bright, or golden shadow practice

After beneath these are the details of four upcoming shadow workshops & meditation session series’ that I will be doing, starting with my ‘finding freedom from what holds you back‘ shadow workshop this Saturday 25th October.

There are also details of a special offer on my shadow coaching services.

This week’s Tues/Weds or Saturday Zen meditations are on Signless-ness for anyone that would like to join.

In the spirit of shadow play,

Toby

Article: Id to ego, It to I; The essence of shadow integration

As you may be aware, it was Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung who first coined the term ‘shadow’ as an aspect of their theories of the conscious and unconscious minds. They indicated the split that can occur between the two when parts of our personality/psychological self are repressed and banished to the unconscious mind, with the resulting phenomenon of the shadow self being a part of the result…read full article

Listen to Toby’s ‘Meditating with your shadow self introductory talk & meditation‘

Watch Toby’s video on ‘Meditating with the bright shadow‘:

Upcoming workshops & series’ on the shadow & the golden shadow

Saturday 25th October, 9am-12.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self
Starts Tuesday 11^th & 12^th November, 7.30-8.30pm – Going beyond your limitations, tapping into your hidden strengths – Meditating with your bright shadow, a 6-week course

Starts Saturday 5.30-6.15pm SG time – Bright shadow meditation Deep-dive – A 5 session practice series

Saturday 22nd November, 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Special coaching offer: 15% off of all 1:1 shadow coaching sessions with Toby up until End November 2025

In a sentence: Shadow coaching shows you how to spot your shadow self. It offers practical and accessible methods for helping to release the energy within you that has been trapped in your shadow self, so that you can live your life at its fullest, deepest potential.

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