Category: Stress Transformation

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Enlightened Flow Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Patient, or positively impatient?

“Is now the time to be patient and accepting, or is it time to rattle the cage, shake the tree and be positively impatient?”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article focuses on a theme that I have found very real and useful in a number of my coaching sessions with clients over the past few weeks.

Making the distinction between patience and positive impatience releases the potential for greater balance and harmony in our life, even when under duress! 

The 15minutes a week Stress-Transformation online program starts next Monday!
It is available at a 50% discount if you get it with either the Wednesday class, Saturday Deep-dive or workshop versions of the stress-transfromation programs (which can be done live, online or via recording). 

In the spirit of patient impatience,

Toby


Article: Patient, or positively impatient?
 
Patience, and patient acceptance are major life-skills that, when applied effectively give us more peace of mind, help us reduce unnecessary energy wastage, and increase our effectiveness in the face of challenges.
Patient acceptance can be contrasted with impatience, pushing too hard and at the wrong time, in a way that is often impulsive and not thought out.
 
However, the patience described above also has a ‘lower expression’ characterized by:

  • Accepting things that we should not/ don’t have to accept, for example out of fear and insecurity
  • Going with the flow of a situation that it may be better not to tolerate or stay in
  • Not recognizing that things have changed, and what was appropriate to have been accepting is now something to be appropriately intolerant to

 
Similarly, the imbalanced impatience described above also has a place or context where it becomes ‘positive impatience’. We can use the energy of positive impatience to change things that it is time we changed, break out of patterns that it is time we broke out of.
 
Micro and macro expressions of this balance
 
The patience/positive impatience balance can play itself out on both a larger scale and a more short-term daily/hourly manner.
On a larger time-scale for example, this year I have decided to make certain changes to my work-life where I am really trying to be intolerant to certain older patterns that served me in the past, but if they persist, they are I danger of limiting my progress. Towards these I am applying ‘positive impatience’ or ‘balanced intolerance’. At the same time, I have also noticed that I am feeling tired and impatient with certain of my work practices, but I feel the time to change these or give them up is not yet here. So, in regard to these, I am adopting an attitude of patience and acceptance, relaxing into the flow of them rather than agitating for change.

On a smaller, micro timescale, today I am mixing up family activities, work and household tasks. There are times where I am itching to get on with work, where I will need to accept that urge and then let it go, being accepting that now is not the time. At other times in the day, I may be feeling lethargic or avoidant regarding work but, because it is the right time, I need to be positively impatient and push through the resistance, utilizing my positive impatience. On a daily basis I might oscillate several times between the two, moving from acceptance to impatience as the circumstances demand, or as I see fit.
 
So then, a good question to ask yourself in situations that you face is:
“Is now the time to be patient and accepting, or is it time to rattle the cage, shake the tree and be positively impatient?”
 
 
Related article: Are You Going With the Flow or Just Drifting With the Current?

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

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A Mind of Ease Beginners mind, resilient body Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation Recordings Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Four stress-transformation ‘flips’ – article & guided meditation recording

“A confident relationship to our stress sets us up for a lifetime of curiosity, wonder, excitement & adventure. An adverse relationship to it sets us up for a path of anxiety, oppression, limitation and fear”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s newsletter is on four stress-transformation ‘flips’. If you are wondering what stress-transformation looks like as a meditation you can also listen to  a 15minute guided meditation on these four aspects of stress-transformation. 

The 15minutes a week Stress-Transformation online program features a wide, creative range of meditations like this 15minute recording. As well as it’s buy-alone price, it is available at a 50% discouont if you get it with either the Wednesday class, Saturday Deep-dive or workshop versions of the stress-transfromation programs (which can be done live, online or via recording). 

In the spirit of confidence in transformation,

Toby

Article: Four stress-transformation ‘flips’
 
There are many, many ways of transforming difficult, debilitating stress into positive or growth stress. Over the years I’ve developed lots of fun, creative techniques for doing so that I continue to teach in my meditation classes, and coach around in my coaching sessions. What I am going to do here is to outline four essential ‘stages’ or ‘flips’ that are foundational to all stress transformation practices. They work as individual units of practice, but I find that when they are put together and practiced sequentially in this order, they become exponentially more effective. In this context ‘flipping’ simply means flipping from debilitating stress to growth, or positive stress.
 
Witnessing – from fighting it to being curious about it
 
The first position then is witnessing. It means to step back from your stress and, rather than being caught up in, identified with or fighting it, to observe and be curious about it. Watch it and get to know it with your observational awareness, try to take it incrementally less seriously, give yourself room to play.
 
Flowing – from resisting emotion to feeling and releasing them
 
The second position is to notice your experience of emotions around the stress, if possible, naming them. Having done this, then rather than trying to get rid of them, or indulging them, or repressing them, set up a pattern of breathing whereby as you inhale you are feeling/experiencing some of that emotion, and exhaling you are relaxing into it/releasing it. An emotion is a type of feeling; feelings want to be felt. By consciously allowing yourself to feel and then release stressful emotions, they become much more workable.
 
Framing – from being lost in the inner conversation to creating it
Here we take position one, witnessing, and apply it specifically to noticing our inner conversation around the stress. Simply watching and dis-identifying from the self-talk can be really useful in itself. But here was are also then concerned amount making creative alterations to the narrative that ‘spin’ the conversation in a more useful direction. “I can’t do it and so I’ll never be able to do it” is a completely different conversation from “I can’t do it yet, but by trying and failing I will learn how before too long”.
 
Appreciating – from feeling unlucky and hard done-by to appreciating the opportunity
In all situations with stress, there is an opportunity to grow, something to be learned, something that we can put to use. Appreciating what the stress we are under can do for us gives us a way to value it, to get excited about it rather than feeling anxious or oppressed by it. It also gives us a purpose and direction to move our stress towards, something we can do with it. Rather than being in the way of our path, it can become the path itself!
 
Stress is so much a part of our life that our relationship to it is literally ‘life-defining’! A positive relationship with our stress sets us up for a lifetime of curiosity, wonder, excitement and adventure. An adverse relationship to it sets us up for a path of anxiety, oppression, limitation and fear . These four ‘flips’ give us a chance to make even our most difficult stress workable, and to make us confident in the face of it.
 
Listen to the four stress-transformation flips guided meditation by Toby

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 
 

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

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Stress Transformation Uncategorized

Stress transformation article re-works

Dear Integral Meditators,

I’ve been editing a few articles from my archive, you can find them linked below. They date back to the first time I started doing mindful stress-transformation workshops, & this is a theme that ties them together.

Enjoy browsing, if you like the material, do check out the upcoming Stress-transformation meditation courses coming up this September.

In the spirit of the journey,

Toby

Soft forms of Psychic Self-Defence 

“With soft forms of psychic self-defence, negativity is understood as simply an energy that can be flowed with and re-directed, rather than something to fear”…read full article

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The Inner Sharks of the Mind – Staying on the tail 

There is quite a famous nature documentary sequence where a seal is being attacked by a white shark. Having escaped from the shark’s jaws one time, rather than making a run (or swim) for it, the seal instead stays behind the sharks tail, following it very closely, until it gets close enough to the land to quickly leap on shore. Rather than running away or confronting the shark the seal dealt with the threat by staying close to the shark, watching and following it very closely…read full article

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Four essential stages to transforming negative stress into positive energy

This article starts with the assertion that stress in and of itself is a neutral energy that can be experienced in a positive or negative way, and that, to a large degree our experience of stress is defined by our approach to the stressful situation, rather than the situation itself. So what is positive and negative stress? Here is a working definition…read full article

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The double bind (& opportunity) of emotional repression

One of the reasons why people find it such a challenge to keep up a daily meditation practice is that, after a while it starts to reveal within them painful emotions that lie repressed, and that  they would rather remain repressed and forgotten. The process of meditation itself causes a release of the “knots” in the mind that hold the pain that we have repressed, and this “untying” gives us access to enhanced self-awareness that frankly we might rather we did not have!

However, there is both a carrot and a stick that we can use to encourage us to face our painful emotions and inner stresses with courage…read full article

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The Way to be ok, always – liberation and the Witness-Self

Cultivating the experience of the witness-self means cultivating your experience of self as a detached observer of your mind, body and life experiences, as opposed to having your sense of self totally caught up in them.
 
The witness or observer self has three main qualities:

  1. It witnesses our life with detached awareness
  2. It has no physical or mental form, it is merely formless awareness
  3. It is the ultimate subject of our awareness, the irreducible ‘I’…read full article

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A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation techniques Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation

The Way to be ok, always – liberation and the Witness-Self

“Skilful witnessing creates an increasing sense of ever-present calm even when under multiple forms of stress. We find ourself increasingly “always ok”, nothing we can’t handle”

Dear Integral Meditators,

 
This week’s article looks at the relationship between witnessing practice & your fundamental sense of freedom. It’s a slighly edited verson of something I wrote in 2013, witnessing practice is something that just gets deeper & better over time. It was working well for me in 2013, but the experience I have now 14 years later is undoubtedly richer & better!

This week’s chakras & non-duality meditation sessions: Wednesday @ 7.30pm SG time,  at 5.30pm, Saturday afternoon, & noon at Space2B. The subject will be ‘Third chakra – Confidence, power, union with mind’.

Heads up for the new series’ for September are out, The weekday & Saturday ‘ Meditations for transforming negativity & stress into energy, positivity & empowerment sessions. 

In the spirit of liberation, 

Toby


The Way to be ok, always – liberation and the Witness-Self
 
Cultivating the experience of the witness-self means cultivating your experience of self as a detached observer of your mind, body and life experiences, as opposed to having your sense of self totally caught up in them.
 
The witness or observer self has three main qualities:

  1. It witnesses our life with detached awareness
  2. It has no physical or mental form, it is merely formless awareness
  3. It is the ultimate subject of our awareness, the irreducible ‘I’

 
The path to liberation from pain and suffering has an enormous amount to do with the cultivation of the witness self.
 
To the extent that we are able to detach (not dissociate) ourself from our pain we can control it. If we can detach ourself from our pleasure we can engage it without clinging to it and thus avoid the experience of pain that happens when we are separated from that pleasure.
 
In meditation we cultivate and strengthen the witness self, but it is important to understand that the witness self is present with and available to us right now, whatever stage of development we are at. Hee are two short stories that illustrate this in a slightly funny way:
 
As a fifteen year old at school I had a friend the same age (let’s call him Tony) who went out with a seventeen year old girl. She left Tony for an older boy who was a mutual friend. Tony subsequently told me the story of how he had confronted the older boy, shouting and screaming at him in an emotional outburst. He then told me, looking slightly sheepish about how he had felt that there was a part of him watching the whole episode (including himself screaming and shouting) that was not upset at all, but felt detached and calm. That “watcher” that he had experienced amidst his emotional outburst was his witness self.
Later I had a female friend at collage who similarly discovered that her boyfriend had been having an affair with another woman whilst away at university. Again with a similar sense of sheepish confusion she described to me how she had shouted and screamed at her boyfriend whilst simultaneously feeling that a part of her was observing the situation with total calm and detachment. Like my friend Tony, my female friend had found herself aware of her witness self at the same time as she experienced, and was identified with, her emotional turmoil.
 
So, with meditation we cultivate awareness of this witness self, making it increasingly “front and center” of our daily experience, finding an increasing sense of ever-present calm even when under multiple forms of stress. We find ourself increasingly “always ok”, nothing we can’t handle.
 
Reading this some people may think that cultivating the witness self may make us cold, uncaring, emotionally mono-syllabic and so on. The reality is however that when practised in an integrated, balanced way, centring our awareness in the witness increases our capacity to enjoy deeper and more positively a wider range of emotion, pleasure, happiness and wellbeing. You could say that it liberates us to a whole new level of the human experience. We leap in and out of our roles with playful freedom.
 
A final point; being centred in the witness self also liberates us substantially from the fear of making mistakes, looking foolish, taking an appropriate chance. So, whilst finding an experience of liberation through the detachment of the witness, we concurrently find a new way of engaging in our world and human experience more freely and dynamically.
 
Related reading: Witnessing – Being That Which is Not


© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

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A Mind of Ease Beginners mind, resilient body Energy Meditation Inner vision Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology mind body connection Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Slowing down to speed up – Staying productive & creative when you are low-energy

“Acknowledging & accepting low-energy, gives us a choice to work with it rather than against it. From a position of acceptance, we can then make choices that move us toward energy & creativity”

Dear Integral Meditators, 


This week’s article looks at how to work with low-energy states skillfully, rather than just fighting them and getting even more tired!

A few chances to bolster your energy through mindfulness & meditation this week: 

In the spirit of wise fast & slow, 

Toby


Slowing down to speed up – Staying productive & creative when you are low-energy
 
As we reach the mid-year mark, I’ve been having to manage my energy level fairly mindfully as it comes under stress from various different directions. When there is a lot going on it can be difficult to realize how low on energy you are getting until it is a too late. Below are a few mindful methods I’ve been using to navigate the run into the summer break without breaking apart!
 
Mindful of the possible vicious cycle with low-energy
 
When we are in a low-energy state, we are also in a reduced willpower state. This means that it is very easy to try and start a task, but then simply getting distracted by something. For example, I have an intention to get a few emails done, but I get sidetracked by youtube instead. This now means that I am low-energy and my energy has been further depleted-dissipated by distraction. This then means that I am even more tired, but I have not gotten the task done. This might then mean that I stay up later in the evening to get things done (also in a distracted manner), which then means I get to bed too late, which then means I wake up feeling low-energy, and so-on in a vicious cycle. Sometimes going to bed too late also means I am ‘to tired’ to fall asleep, or I sleep in a non-relaxed or stressed manner.
With a cycle like this, low energy breeds distraction, which breeds self-judgment and stress, which makes us even less able to stay productive, which leads to feelings of overwhelm, which leads to lower energy and so on…
 
Going slower to go faster
 
If I am in a low-energy state, I find the faster I can recognize it the better. From this awareness, normally my next position is acknowledgment and acceptance of the state of tiredness, and a choice to work with it rather than against it. From this position of acceptance, I then make choices like:

  • Reducing my ambition for the rest of the day, achieving less, but in a way where I feel good about what I have done and get to bedtime on time, ready to recharge for tomorrow.
  • If I’m feeling too tired to do anything, I normally take a few minutes to do nothing. Doing nothing helps my energy to gather, and for me to get clear on the next task that I want to do engage in.
  • Look at my inner narrative, and ‘spin’ it in a positive manner. A simple example of this is I focus on what I have achieved (today/this week/this month) already, and how I can feel good about that, rather than all the things that I haven’t done yet/should have done by now. This helps me to feel happy where I am presently, which takes the edge off any feelings of stress or tiredness.

‘More haste less hurry’ as the saying goes, or, if you like, ‘Less haste, more hurry’!
 
Observing outside influences (or perceived ones), and setting your own pace
 
A final point here, when we are tired, it can be quite easy to be pushed out of balance by environmental influences. A stressed-out colleague or boss, the opinion of our partner, the anxiety of our children, an uncomfortable commute home in the evening. These can all push us out of balance, adding dis-orientation, dissipation and confusion to our already low-energy state. The more you can be aware of this, the less likely it is to influence you unconsciously, and the more likely you are to be able to find and keep your center in the eye of the storm.
 
Related reading: Tired of being tired – Relaxing into, not fighting with your fatigue
You already have what you seek – Getting resilience from resilience


© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

12noon on Saturday – Meditation Masterclass Series at Space2B

Sat 20th, 5.30pm & Weds 24th June, 7.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Sunday 28th July, 9am-12noon – Mindful Resilience workshop – Practices for sustaining effectiveness, happiness & clarity under pressure

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

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3 levels of chakra meditation video, & article on varying your intensity level

Dear Integral Meditators, 

A video & article for you today!

The video is a short introducton to the three different levels of the chakras, & how to work with them in meditation. It’s partly for those who may be interested in the Wednesday evening & Saturday afternoon chakra meditation & non-duality summer courses. But it should be interesting & of value to those who are simply curious!

The article on ‘Yin & yang levels of intensity in meditation’ asks the question: “What level of intensity do I want to bring to my practice, & my life today? Which level will work best in the circumstances?”

In the spirit of creation & adaptation, 

Toby

Watch Toby’s video on the three aspects or levels of chakra meditation: 

Yang & yin levels of meditation intensity
 
In the same way that there are different levels of exercise, there are different levels of intensity regarding your meditation. If you have an exercise routine, you will likely have:

  • Some days that are high intensity days, where you are looking to push your body’s capacity by exercising intensely and close to the limit of your capacity
  • Other days you may exercise at a low level of intensity with the aim to help your body recover its energy
  • Other days it may be an intermediate level of intensity, somewhere between a 4-6 out of 10 (with 10 as max effort)

Similarly, when you sit down to do a meditation, it can be useful to distinguish whether you are going to meditate:

  • At a relatively high ‘yang’ intensity level, emphasizing clarity and capacity growth. This may take some energy to do, but if you feel your energy levels are quite good already, then you can invest some of that energy in improving your meditation ‘level’
  • At a lower, easy ‘yin’ regenerative level. Here you are not going to worry too much about ‘performance’, rather you are creating a space for your meditation that is aimed at recovery and rest. This type of meditation you may well come out with more energy, feeling refreshed and renewed, almost like you had a bit of a sleep

 
Of course, you can also choose a level in between, at an intermediate or balanced level of intensity, that ‘4-6’ level that I mentioned above!
The point here is that, if you make a conscious decision about the level of intensity before you start your meditation then that can set you up for a better meditation experience as you actually engage in the meditation.
You can create a formal program if you like where you have set days each week that are designated ‘yin meditation’ others ‘yang’ and one or two intermediate days. What I generally like to do is simply decide on the day, according to how I feel.
 
A daily example
 
On the way to work on the train this morning, I did a 15minute meditation. Before I started, my body felt really quite tired, so I decided to do it at a low intensity, ‘yin’ recovery level of intensity. So, I began with this ‘soft focus’ type approach, not worrying too much about precision, brightness or energy. As the meditation went on however, I did feel my state moving from a low energy toward a higher energy level as I progressed. In the second half of the meditation, I picked up the intensity and finished feeling both refreshed and quite ‘on point’ around my energy level. It turned into a ‘bit of both’ type meditation!
 
A final point, you can use the above principles to vary the level on intensity that you bring to your life appropriately. Some days can be high intensity days, others recovery, ‘yin’ days. Yin days can involve work, yang days can involve recovery or leisure. It’s more about the mindful modulation of your effort, rather than the activities themselves.
 
Related article: Zen ergonomics – Sailing with, rather than rowing against life

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Starts on Wednesday June 10th, 7.30-8.30pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self -an 8-week course

Starts Saturday June 13th, 5.30-6.45pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self – an 8-session deep-dive practice series

Sat 20th, 5.30pm & Weds 24th June, 7.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation
 

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

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Awareness and insight creative imagery Inner vision Insight Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Stress Transformation

No such thing as a bad situation? – Mindful life-sculpting

“How can you create, or ‘sculpt’ your present experience into something valuable, worthwhile, fulfilling? What if it was not primarily about it, but you?”

Dear <<First Name>>, 

This week’s article looks at the theme of mindful-life sculpting, where you use your mind & attention to ‘sculpt’ your expereince. As a sculptor by training, its a perenially interesting theme for me.

A reminder of the Wednesday evening & Saturday afternoon chakra meditation & non-duality summer courses. If you are looking for methods that are both profoundly relaxing & transformative, do have a look!
Programs can be participated in live, online or via the recordngs. Click below for full details.

In the spirit of energised relaxation, 

Toby

No such thing as a bad situation? – Mindful life-sculpting
 
No such thing as a bad sculpture
 
Twice in my degree in the fine arts, specializing in sculpture, I was told by one of the art tutors who taught me “Actually, after you have been making sculptures a while, one of the things that you realize is that there is no such thing as a bad sculpture.” That they meant by this is that, after a while you realize that every object has a certain quality, and that, if you can work your way around to seeing it, you can appreciate, enjoy and even value it.
 
Your own life from this perspective
 
In your own life you may have come across many experiences and situations that look a bit like a ‘bad sculpture’. By this I mean that initially you react with a strong negative judgment about it; “This is bad because”:

  • It’s not what I wanted…
  • It’s not what I’m used to…
  • It’s not what I was expecting…
  • It gets in the way of….

The reasons can go on and on. But then perhaps you have found over time that,

  • It not what you wanted, but there are certain advantages to it, now I have been living with it for a couple of weeks…
  • It’s not what you were used to, but now you are starting to see how what you were used to was holding you back in certain ways…
  • It’s not what I was expecting, but why was I thinking that what I was expecting was going to be the best thing for me anyway?…
  • It got in the way of this goal, but now there is more room for this other possibility to manifest in my life…

No such thing as a bad situation?

So then, the extension of the ‘no bad sculptures’ idea is perhaps, that there are no bad situations? And that actually it’s more a ‘mindset limitation’ that is the issue…

  • Last week I discussed halving the work commitment I have toward an organization. In these uncertain times that might seem like a ‘bad’ thing, but actually I need to create space in my work schedule, as it is getting over crowded
  • I tried to create room for doing some physical sculpture at the end of last year, but I wasn’t able to. Maybe this is inviting me to double down in the idea of my life as my ‘sculpture’, and that I am doing great!
  • My sleep has not been fantastic over the last couple of weeks, but maybe this is helping me to see how much new capacity I have to cope and thrive in life, even when my sleep is not optimal…

What if there were no bad situations in your life?
 
What if it was more a matter of you seeing the value in what you are going through? If you are the most powerful creative force in your life, how can you create, or ‘sculpt’ your present experience into something valuable, worthwhile, fulfilling? What if it was not primarily about it, but you?
 
Related articles: Integral Meditation training page: Using distractions, sculpting thoughts & soft body

Using distractions, sculpting thoughts, softening the body
Being the center of your universe

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Starts on Wednesday June 10th, 7.30-8.30pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self -an 8-week course

Starts Saturday June 13th, 5.30-6.45pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self – an 8-session deep-dive practice series

Sat 20th, 5.30pm & Weds 24th June, 7.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation
 

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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creative imagery Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation techniques Presence and being present Primal Spirituality Stress Transformation Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

The seagull whirlpool & other stress transformations

“You are the seagull above the whirlpool of your life. See yourself centred, relaxed, skilfully adapting to the wind changes, accepting them, working with them moment to moment. You are entirely at home”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article offers an image for experiencing mindful stress transformation that really struck me. 
 
If you enjoy the article, & would like to shift your own ability to transform your stress tangibly, then do check out my Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Workshop on this Saturday 16th & then 23rd of May.
 
Also the Wednesday & Saturday Inner smile meditations are also focused on energy and emotional stress transformation, this week we look at moving from fear to fear & stress to gentleness/calm.
 
In the spirit of seagulls, 

 Toby


The seagull whirlpool & other stress transformations
 
At the end of 2014 I wrote an article called ‘The stability of uncertainty’. In it I write about my experience of working with high degrees of uncertainty, stress and change, and learning to quietly thrive on it rather than be oppressed by it. It was a real ‘best of times, worst of times’ period in my life, when I was learning that uncertainty can be transformed and thrived upon if it can be accepted. After awareness, all stress transformation practice begins with acceptance. It is the sure footing that you build in order to then gain the confidence to work with pressure dynamically. Looking back and reading that article, I’m struck by how much of it I still agree with, and find relevant to my own process right now, at this later stage in my life and growth.
 
On the original article post I noticed that I had used a picture of two seagulls circling above a whirlpool. Looking at it now, I am struck by what a great image this is for becoming a stress transformer. If you imagine you are one of those seagulls. Above the whirlpool there will be strong, fast changing winds, the birds have to adapt moment to moment. Below is a whirlpool that if they get caught up in it would pull them under the ocean. But for a gull, despite all the chaotic energy around them, this feels like home. In fact, this IS their home, their native environment. They are able to stay centred in their bodies, making skilful adjustments to their wings, rejoicing in their capability, enjoying the dance. Compared to the forces around them, they are tiny, like small specks, but they are not thinking about their size or significance, they are busy enjoying being who and what they are, knowing that they can survive, thrive and make their living amidst the turbulence.
Thinking about one of the really big gulls, the albatross, it can go out flying over the open ocean for 6 months at a time, which is really quite something!
 
You are the seagull above the whirlpool of your life
 
Imagine yourself now as the seagull above the whirlpool of your life. All of the chaos, the turbulence, the uncertainty, the contending forces in your life are like the whirlpool below you, and the wind and weather around you. See yourself centred in your body, relaxed, skilfully adapting to the wind changes, accepting them, working with them moment to moment. You don’t know exactly what comes next, but you deeply trust in your capability to meet and adapt to it. Constantly moving and adapting, you feel stable in this environment, like it is a home. In the sky and above the whirlpool you live, confident in your ability to find what you need to survive, and able to enjoy what comes your way in the moment. You have made tension your friend, and so you feel free, relaxed, the sovereign of your world. You are connected to your natural intelligence and dignity.
Bring to mind a challenge you are facing in your life right now. Feel the fear, anxiety, overwhelm, or whatever else you feel around it. Now be the seagull.
 
 
Related reading: Rats, meadows, & the World doing Itself (Stress tolerance & transformation)
The stability of uncertainty

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Ongoing on Wednesdays – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Ongoing on Saturdays – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Saturday 16th & 23rd May, 3.30-5pm on both days – Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Workshop
 

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

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A Mind of Ease Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Breathing Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

How to stop difficult feelings becoming negative emotions

“Can you distinguish your feelings from your emotions? Oftentimes this skill can help you navigate stressful situations more successfully, & with less effort!”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article looks at how to distinguish feeling states from emotional states, & use it to navigate difficult circumstances more easily. If you enjoy it, then I invite you to my Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass this Saturday 25th April, 2.30-4.30pm, live or online! 

This week’s Wednesday & Saturday class continue our inner-smile meditation series, which is also focused on mindfulness around emotions. All welcome.

In the spirit of ease,

 Toby


How to stop difficult feelings becoming negative emotions
 
The difference between feelings and emotions 

One of the most useful distinctions in Buddhist insight meditation that I have found is the distinction between feelings and emotions. Broadly speaking feelings are simply the experience of that which is pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. By contrast emotions arise from a psychological process that involves thinking in a particular way about a feeling. Here are two simple examples:
 

  1. I see a person who has wronged me in the past, instinctively an unpleasant feeling arises. I then start to reflect on the harm that they have caused me and develop anger or anger. This anger is the emotion, arising from the psychological process of paying attention to the harm done in combination with the initial unpleasant feelings.
  2. I am sick, giving rise to unpleasant feelings in my body. I start to think about how this sickness is ruining my only two weeks of holiday in the year and I start to develop the emotions of frustration, despair and sadness.

 
Here we can start to see the basic distinction; pain is simply the feeling arising within the moment. We experience emotion when we combine a feeling with a psychological process of focusing on the feeling in a particular way.
With regard to painful feelings, often we compound the pain they cause us by focusing on them in a way that causes us to experience emotional suffering, as in the examples above. The key therefore in preventing painful feelings becoming full blown emotional suffering is to avoid thinking about them or focusing on them in such a way that negative emotions are stimulated.
 
Some sources of painful feelings

The five sources of painful feelings below are a non-exhaustive list, but it gives an idea of the variety of different sources that can cause painful feelings within us. Any of them if focused on in the wrong way can cause negative emotions to arise:
 

  1. Physical pain arising from sickness or injury
  2. Pain or irritability arising from hormonal or other biological or energetic imbalances within the body
  3. From people who say or do harmful things to us or have done so in the past
  4. From psychological and/or existential anxiety, e.g.: Worried about not being good enough, fear of dying, fear of stepping out of comfort zone etc…
  5. From spiritual crisis; for example, when the old self or ego structures are collapsing in order for a new level of self-sense to arise.

 
 
An insight meditation for acknowledging and releasing negative feelings 
 
Here is a brief insight meditation form that we can use to prevent difficult feelings turning into negative emotions:
 
Stage 1: Breathing in I am aware of my painful feelings,
Breathing out I acknowledge those feelings fully.
Stage 2: Breathing in I experience my tight grasping at those painful feelings,
Breathing out I relax my grasping at those feelings,
Stage 3: Breathing in I detach from those feelings,
Breathing out I extend compassion and understanding to those feelings.
 
In stage one as we breathe in, we become consciously aware of any painful feelings we may be experiencing, as we breathe out, we acknowledge them fully. Often, we try and repress or deny negative feelings, which in turn allow them to build and transform into negative emotions. Fully acknowledging what is there and gives feelings the attention they need in order to be addressed.
 
In stage two we observe how we are clinging to these painful feelings, grasping at them tightly. Then, as we breathe out, we consciously release that tight grasping, energetically relaxing our body and mind.
 
In stage three we detach from those painful feelings, at the same time as extending a feeling of compassion and understanding toward them. We combine the objective experience of detachment with the positive emotional tonalities of compassion and understanding.
 
Suggestions for Daily Practice

The essential point is that feelings can be distinguished from emotions, and we can prevent negative emotions from arising by avoiding focusing on painful feelings in the wrong way.
The brief meditation technique I describe above can be done as a two-minute exercise or as an extended meditation, taking a few minutes to focus on each of the stages. It is a meditation that is worth doing sometimes even if we are not fully aware of any negative feelings inside us, as often it will bring to light feelings within us the need a bit of tender loving care.
Of course if there are also practical things that we can do to alleviate the negative feelings, like taking medicine, or having a conversation to clear the air with our partner about a hurt we have then this should be done to!
 
Related reading: “Insight Meditation – Improving Your Subjective Experience by Developing Your Objective Perspective” 

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Ongoing on Wednesdays – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Ongoing on Saturdays – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Saturday 25th April, 2.30-4.30pm – Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass
 

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Energy Meditation Inner smile & Earth healing Inner vision Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Mindful of – colour therapy & facial expression

“Awareness of colour & facial expression are two ways of using mindful attention to improve your mood and energy with very little effort. You just need to remember them & return to them often”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article focuses on working with colour & facial expression, both powerful, enjoyable methods for enhancing mood & energy.

If you enjoy it, then do have a look at this Saturdays workshop, that looks at this subject in depth: 
Saturday, March 28th 9:00am – 12:30pm – Inner smile & Earth Healing meditation workshop – Build health, confidence & energetic resilience in life, as well as the class & deep-dive series following on from it. 

In the spirit of living-in-colour,

Toby

Mindful of – colour therapy & facial expression
 
The two ‘mindful positions’ that we explore in this article are:

  • The energetics of colour, and tuning into the colour you need right now
  • The expression on your face, and working with what it is communicating

 
What colour does my body need?
 
If you have ever drawn or painted with colours, you might have noticed that concentrating on colour can feel great. After an hour of working with a green, blue and yellow landscape picture, you can really feel how these colours make you feel relaxed, calm and energised, even if you aren’t a great artist.
Similarly, if you go outside and just notice the colours in the landscape around you, you will notice that certain colours feel great to just stare at, absorb the energy of and relax.
On a slightly deeper level, if you ask yourself the question what coulor does my body energy need right now to move toward balance? Quite quickly you will notice your body intelligence will suggest a colour to surround yourself with.

  • If it needs energy it may move toward oranges or reds
  • If it needs lifting, it might move towards yellows
  • If it needs balancing and harmonizing, it might move toward greens
  • For calmness blues, and so on…

You can then just imagine yourself surrounded by that colour and let your body-mind absorb it, with often rapid effect. You might feel also that the colour has a ‘sound’ or vibration, which you can enjoy too.
 
Variation: You can imagine a point of energy in your belly, heart, and head. Ask each of these areas of your body what colour it needs. Breathe each of these colours into the particular area of the body, building that colour vibration there. You will get to know what colours work for you powerfully very quickly if you do this.
 
Your facial expression
 
The expression on your face communicates how you are feeling, but often we are unaware of it. If you are on a commute, and look at people’s faces, you will see this quite clearly!
If you become aware of your face, and notice tension, stress or a bad mood there, here are three stages you can try:

  1. Notice the expression and the mood it embodies. Accept it, even exaggerate the expression a little to really get a feeling for what is there
  2. Next, relax your face, release the expression, move your face toward a calm, neutral position, enjoy it
  3. Third, raise the corners of your mouth a little, so that your face is in the position of a half-smile. Feel the gentle joy and radiance of this expression, let it spread from your face into your body, and any parts of your body-mind that might need a bit of warmth and support.

 
There you go, two ways of playing with your attention to improve your mood and energy with very little effort. It’s just something that you need to come back to often and put to use!
 
Related reading: Mindfulness, beauty & slowing the effects of ageing
Your Emotional Colour Palette
Practical dimensions of chakra meditation
Inner smile meditation
What your body posture communicates to you

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Ongoing weekly on Wednesday – Beginners mind, resilient body – a 10-week integral meditation course

Starts Saturday 17th January, 5.30-6.15pm, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body deep-dive: An 11 -session practice series

Saturday, March 28th 9:00am – 12:30pm – Inner smile & Earth Healing meditation workshop – Build health, confidence & energetic resilience in life

Wednesday April 1st, 7.30-8.30pm & Saturday, 4th April, 5-6pm – Which meditator are you? – Free meditation seminars: The five types of meditators & how to build your path to inner freedom

Starts Wednesday 8th April, 7.30-8.30pm, & then ongoing – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

 Saturday 11th April, 5.30-6.15pm SG time, & then ongoing – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series
 

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology