Tag: meditation in singapore

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3 levels of chakra meditation video, & article on varying your intensity level

Post author By Toby
Post date June 4, 2026

Dear Integral Meditators,

A video & article for you today!

The video is a short introducton to the three different levels of the chakras, & how to work with them in meditation. It’s partly for those who may be interested in the Wednesday evening & Saturday afternoon chakra meditation & non-duality summer courses. But it should be interesting & of value to those who are simply curious!

The article on ‘Yin & yang levels of intensity in meditation’ asks the question: “What level of intensity do I want to bring to my practice, & my life today? Which level will work best in the circumstances?”

In the spirit of creation & adaptation,

Toby

Watch Toby’s video on the three aspects or levels of chakra meditation:

Yang & yin levels of meditation intensity

In the same way that there are different levels of exercise, there are different levels of intensity regarding your meditation. If you have an exercise routine, you will likely have:

Some days that are high intensity days, where you are looking to push your body’s capacity by exercising intensely and close to the limit of your capacity
Other days you may exercise at a low level of intensity with the aim to help your body recover its energy
Other days it may be an intermediate level of intensity, somewhere between a 4-6 out of 10 (with 10 as max effort)

Similarly, when you sit down to do a meditation, it can be useful to distinguish whether you are going to meditate:

At a relatively high ‘yang’ intensity level, emphasizing clarity and capacity growth. This may take some energy to do, but if you feel your energy levels are quite good already, then you can invest some of that energy in improving your meditation ‘level’
At a lower, easy ‘yin’ regenerative level. Here you are not going to worry too much about ‘performance’, rather you are creating a space for your meditation that is aimed at recovery and rest. This type of meditation you may well come out with more energy, feeling refreshed and renewed, almost like you had a bit of a sleep

Of course, you can also choose a level in between, at an intermediate or balanced level of intensity, that ‘4-6’ level that I mentioned above!
The point here is that, if you make a conscious decision about the level of intensity before you start your meditation then that can set you up for a better meditation experience as you actually engage in the meditation.
You can create a formal program if you like where you have set days each week that are designated ‘yin meditation’ others ‘yang’ and one or two intermediate days. What I generally like to do is simply decide on the day, according to how I feel.

A daily example

On the way to work on the train this morning, I did a 15minute meditation. Before I started, my body felt really quite tired, so I decided to do it at a low intensity, ‘yin’ recovery level of intensity. So, I began with this ‘soft focus’ type approach, not worrying too much about precision, brightness or energy. As the meditation went on however, I did feel my state moving from a low energy toward a higher energy level as I progressed. In the second half of the meditation, I picked up the intensity and finished feeling both refreshed and quite ‘on point’ around my energy level. It turned into a ‘bit of both’ type meditation!

A final point, you can use the above principles to vary the level on intensity that you bring to your life appropriately. Some days can be high intensity days, others recovery, ‘yin’ days. Yin days can involve work, yang days can involve recovery or leisure. It’s more about the mindful modulation of your effort, rather than the activities themselves.

Related article: Zen ergonomics – Sailing with, rather than rowing against life

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Starts on Wednesday June 10^th, 7.30-8.30pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self -an 8-week course

Starts Saturday June 13^th, 5.30-6.45pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self – an 8-session deep-dive practice series

Sat 20th, 5.30pm & Weds 24th June, 7.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags chakra meditation, inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, intensity level, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

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No such thing as a bad situation? – Mindful life-sculpting

Post author By Toby
Post date June 1, 2026

“How can you create, or ‘sculpt’ your present experience into something valuable, worthwhile, fulfilling? What if it was not primarily about it, but you?”

Dear <<First Name>>,

This week’s article looks at the theme of mindful-life sculpting, where you use your mind & attention to ‘sculpt’ your expereince. As a sculptor by training, its a perenially interesting theme for me.

A reminder of the Wednesday evening & Saturday afternoon chakra meditation & non-duality summer courses. If you are looking for methods that are both profoundly relaxing & transformative, do have a look!
Programs can be participated in live, online or via the recordngs. Click below for full details.

In the spirit of energised relaxation,

Toby

No such thing as a bad situation? – Mindful life-sculpting

No such thing as a bad sculpture

Twice in my degree in the fine arts, specializing in sculpture, I was told by one of the art tutors who taught me “Actually, after you have been making sculptures a while, one of the things that you realize is that there is no such thing as a bad sculpture.” That they meant by this is that, after a while you realize that every object has a certain quality, and that, if you can work your way around to seeing it, you can appreciate, enjoy and even value it.

Your own life from this perspective

In your own life you may have come across many experiences and situations that look a bit like a ‘bad sculpture’. By this I mean that initially you react with a strong negative judgment about it; “This is bad because”:

It’s not what I wanted…
It’s not what I’m used to…
It’s not what I was expecting…
It gets in the way of….

The reasons can go on and on. But then perhaps you have found over time that,

It not what you wanted, but there are certain advantages to it, now I have been living with it for a couple of weeks…
It’s not what you were used to, but now you are starting to see how what you were used to was holding you back in certain ways…
It’s not what I was expecting, but why was I thinking that what I was expecting was going to be the best thing for me anyway?…
It got in the way of this goal, but now there is more room for this other possibility to manifest in my life…

No such thing as a bad situation?

So then, the extension of the ‘no bad sculptures’ idea is perhaps, that there are no bad situations? And that actually it’s more a ‘mindset limitation’ that is the issue…

Last week I discussed halving the work commitment I have toward an organization. In these uncertain times that might seem like a ‘bad’ thing, but actually I need to create space in my work schedule, as it is getting over crowded
I tried to create room for doing some physical sculpture at the end of last year, but I wasn’t able to. Maybe this is inviting me to double down in the idea of my life as my ‘sculpture’, and that I am doing great!
My sleep has not been fantastic over the last couple of weeks, but maybe this is helping me to see how much new capacity I have to cope and thrive in life, even when my sleep is not optimal…

What if there were no bad situations in your life?

What if it was more a matter of you seeing the value in what you are going through? If you are the most powerful creative force in your life, how can you create, or ‘sculpt’ your present experience into something valuable, worthwhile, fulfilling? What if it was not primarily about it, but you?

Related articles: Using distractions, sculpting thoughts, softening the body
Being the center of your universe

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Starts on Wednesday June 10^th, 7.30-8.30pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self -an 8-week course

Starts Saturday June 13^th, 5.30-6.45pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self – an 8-session deep-dive practice series

Sat 20th, 5.30pm & Weds 24th June, 7.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Tags creative mindfulness, inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindful sculpting, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

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Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality summer courses

Post author By Toby
Post date May 27, 2026

Dear Integral Meditators,

I’ve just completed the write ups for the summer meditation courses. Both the weekday classes & the Saturday deep-dive sessions will be focused on the chakras as gateways to non-duality.

Actually, all seven chakras have three levels; bio-energetic, mental & consciousness.

In the sessions we will look at all three in an intergral manner, with the emphasis being on the final wisdom-state of the conscious level. The seven gatweays we will cover are:

First chakra – stability, abundance, unity with the world
Second chakra – energy, creativity, union with life
Third chakra – Confidence, power, union with mind
Fourth chakra – Heart, merging, relating – union as love
Fifth chakra – sound, speech, mantra – unity through silence
Sixth Chakra – Observation, integration – union as the witness
Seventh chakra – Consciousness, integration – formless union

I’m pretty excited to facilitate these sessions, I’ve been practising different forms of chakram meditation for the last 30 years, & this will be a conndensation of that expereince into a single 8 session format. If your looking for an ‘inner summer to remember’, this might be your ticket!

Programs can be participated in live, online or via the recordngs. Click below for full details.

In the spirit of energised relaxation,

Toby

Starts on Wednesday June 10^th, 7.30-8.30pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self -an 8-week course

Overview: The chakras are a traditional, dynamic meditation form that invite us to discover:

A way of bringing greater energy into our body in a way that promotes health & wellbeing
A way of developing ourselves on seven different levels of our being in a balanced & integrated manner
A way of accessing deeper meditation states more easily & effectively
A way of enjoying working with colour in meditation

Read full details…

Starts Saturday June 13^th, 5.30-6.45pm – Chakra meditation as a gateway to non-duality, energy & the integrated self – an 8-session deep-dive practice series

What is unique to these sessions is that Toby will be showing how to meditate on each of the chakras as gateways to the non-dual state, which is considered the highest or ‘ultimate’ level of wisdom-meditation practice.

Non-duality is a state beyond verbal description, but it can be understood more deeply & profoundly by approaching it from the seven different levels of the chakras. In doing so the richness of your non-dual meditation, & your ability to apply it effectively in daily life will be greatly enhanced….read full details

Tags chakra meditation, inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

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Mindfulness for Traders: Flow State, Emotional Control & Life Mastery

Post author By Toby
Post date May 18, 2026

Dear Integral Meditators,

Last week I was interviewed by Simon Ree from the Tao Of Trading to give a talk to his community on ‘Mindfulness for Traders: Flow State, Emotional Control & Life Mastery.’

It was a pleasure to be on the show, I’ve done a lot of coaching with traders over the years, & this video captures some major aspects of the sort of mindful processes I go through with them in the sessions.

Watch Mindfulness for Traders: Flow State, Emotional Control & Life Mastery

Even if you are not particularly interested in trading, there are a lot of mindful life-themes that you might enjoy. The section beneath the video gives you the option to just click on the segments you are interested in!

Here is a summary of the key subjects of the talk, with added links to related articles of mine.

Key principles covered include:

The McLaren Problem: why reaching your financial goals doesn’t automatically mean peace of mind, and the psychological work most successful traders never anticipated.
Related article: Wanting what you like, or liking what happens?

The 4 Trees Exercise: a 3-minute practice to anchor yourself in the present moment before you trade. The simplest pre-trade ritual I’ve seen.
Related article: Sitting between the four trees – your basic mandala of presence

The Repression Fallacy: why willpower alone cannot eliminate fear and greed. Suppressed emotions don’t disappear. They re-emerge during your worst trades. His words, not mine.
Related article: Mindfulness, emotions & your MRVA’s (Mass rapid value assessments)

Wu Wei (Non-Doing): when you’re in a hole, stop digging. When you stop forcing, you start noticing what actually opens up.
Related article: Effortless effort – Making everything workable

Optimistic Stoicism: face the worst-case scenario. Inhabit it. Discover you can endure it. Then open the door to genuine optimism.
Related article: Optimistic stoicism

“Could be good, could be bad”: the equanimity of the Chinese horse farmer. Probabilities, not certainties. Managing risk without catastrophising about outcomes.

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Ongoing on Wednesdays – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Ongoing on Saturdays – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindful trading, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

creative imagery Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation techniques Presence and being present Primal Spirituality Stress Transformation Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

The seagull whirlpool & other stress transformations

Post author By Toby
Post date May 11, 2026

“You are the seagull above the whirlpool of your life. See yourself centred, relaxed, skilfully adapting to the wind changes, accepting them, working with them moment to moment. You are entirely at home”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article offers an image for experiencing mindful stress transformation that really struck me.

If you enjoy the article, & would like to shift your own ability to transform your stress tangibly, then do check out my Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Workshop on this Saturday 16^th & then 23^rd of May.

Also the Wednesday & Saturday Inner smile meditations are also focused on energy and emotional stress transformation, this week we look at moving from fear to fear & stress to gentleness/calm.

In the spirit of seagulls,

Toby

The seagull whirlpool & other stress transformations

At the end of 2014 I wrote an article called ‘The stability of uncertainty’. In it I write about my experience of working with high degrees of uncertainty, stress and change, and learning to quietly thrive on it rather than be oppressed by it. It was a real ‘best of times, worst of times’ period in my life, when I was learning that uncertainty can be transformed and thrived upon if it can be accepted. After awareness, all stress transformation practice begins with acceptance. It is the sure footing that you build in order to then gain the confidence to work with pressure dynamically. Looking back and reading that article, I’m struck by how much of it I still agree with, and find relevant to my own process right now, at this later stage in my life and growth.

On the original article post I noticed that I had used a picture of two seagulls circling above a whirlpool. Looking at it now, I am struck by what a great image this is for becoming a stress transformer. If you imagine you are one of those seagulls. Above the whirlpool there will be strong, fast changing winds, the birds have to adapt moment to moment. Below is a whirlpool that if they get caught up in it would pull them under the ocean. But for a gull, despite all the chaotic energy around them, this feels like home. In fact, this IS their home, their native environment. They are able to stay centred in their bodies, making skilful adjustments to their wings, rejoicing in their capability, enjoying the dance. Compared to the forces around them, they are tiny, like small specks, but they are not thinking about their size or significance, they are busy enjoying being who and what they are, knowing that they can survive, thrive and make their living amidst the turbulence.
Thinking about one of the really big gulls, the albatross, it can go out flying over the open ocean for 6 months at a time, which is really quite something!

You are the seagull above the whirlpool of your life

Imagine yourself now as the seagull above the whirlpool of your life. All of the chaos, the turbulence, the uncertainty, the contending forces in your life are like the whirlpool below you, and the wind and weather around you. See yourself centred in your body, relaxed, skilfully adapting to the wind changes, accepting them, working with them moment to moment. You don’t know exactly what comes next, but you deeply trust in your capability to meet and adapt to it. Constantly moving and adapting, you feel stable in this environment, like it is a home. In the sky and above the whirlpool you live, confident in your ability to find what you need to survive, and able to enjoy what comes your way in the moment. You have made tension your friend, and so you feel free, relaxed, the sovereign of your world. You are connected to your natural intelligence and dignity.
Bring to mind a challenge you are facing in your life right now. Feel the fear, anxiety, overwhelm, or whatever else you feel around it. Now be the seagull.

Related reading: Rats, meadows, & the World doing Itself (Stress tolerance & transformation)
The stability of uncertainty

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing on Wednesdays – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Ongoing on Saturdays – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Saturday 16th & 23rd May, 3.30-5pm on both days – Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Workshop

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, stress transformation

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Rats, meadows, & the World doing Itself (Stress tolerance & transformation)

Post author By Toby
Post date May 4, 2026

“I am the Wolrd doing Itself”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article offers three of my favourite perceptual shifts to help you manage & expand into the stress of your life challenges.

If you enjoy the article, & would like to shift your own ability to transform your stress tangibly, then do check out my Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Workshop on Saturday 16^th & 23^rd of May.

Also the Wednesday & Saturday Inner smile meditations are also focused on energy and emotional stress transformation, you might enjoy these as well!

In the spirit of transformation,

Toby

Rats, meadows, & the World doing Itself (Stress tolerance & transformation)

Undergoing an expansion of capacity more gently

These last few weeks I have been going through a bit of a life change. I’ve felt an urge to take on a few new projects, and the combination of them, in tandem with my existing commitments has left me feeling somewhat dis-oriented and overwhelmed. The interesting thing about the overwhelm in this case is that I don’t feel ‘overwhelmed by the overwhelm’. What I mean by this is that, previously in a similar situation I would be incapacitated by the overwhelm, and then have to cut back on what I am doing in order to get back into balance. In this situation however, I feel more like what I am doing is something that I can do, and I just need to figure out how to relax into it, and my capacity will expand to the size of the challenge.

How to meditate when your mind is too busy, and you feel overwhelmed

I did a coaching session with a client last week, where he had been facing a similar challenge to me; too many things going on on all fronts. As he sat down to meditate, his mind just would not settle; things he had to do kept jumping into his mind. He was sometimes left feeling that he may as well have not meditated!

The positions we explored to help make his meditation time more productive were:

Noticing – That when we feel over-busy, our field of awareness can feel small, like we are stuck in our head. In our head are a bunch of ‘rats in a bag’ all bumping into each other and creating claustrophobia and friction.
Expanding – I suggested that, rather than trying to control his thoughts in this ‘small-mind’ environment, he could try making his awareness big. I mentioned the Zen expression ‘If you want to control your cow or your sheep, put it in a big meadow. To quote from a previous article on the subject: “When sitting with the thoughts in your mind, rather than trying to control them, stop them or ‘fix’ them, you simply make your mind and awareness bigger, like a large open meadow …. In such an environment an animal will tend to simply wonder off, find its place in the field and be content. So, when you make your awareness big, you can sit there watching the thoughts without being so bothered by them, and they in turn tend to gradually return to equilibrium, without you having to work that hard to control or fix them.”
I am the Word doing Itself – In addition to making our mind ‘big’ in this way, I suggested a non-dual perceptual shift. Rather than seeing himself as in the world, struggling to make his way amongst all of the busyness and activity, he should see himself as the ‘World doing Itself’. This perceptual shift means expanding your sense of your body-mind to be the Whole World, way beyond just your small body and individual life. Everything around you is you, you are the World, and the World is doing itself.

This third position keeps your awareness big, and all your little struggles feel correspondingly much more manageable. Because everything feels less stressful and more manageable, dealing with challenges in your life, on multiple-levels becomes much more manageable. We discover that we can take on more, whilst using less energy, and as a result we find our overall capacity increases.

My client liked these three positions, and we did a meditation on them before concluding. Of course, these three positions are equally useful for me in my life, as I expand into the next chapter and explore the limits of my own capacity!

Related reading: A bag of rats & a big meadow (tactics or strategy?)
The world as an organism
Four Mindful Images for Stress Transformation

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing on Wednesdays – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, stress transformation

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How to stop difficult feelings becoming negative emotions

Post author By Toby
Post date April 28, 2026

“Can you distinguish your feelings from your emotions? Oftentimes this skill can help you navigate stressful situations more successfully, & with less effort!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at how to distinguish feeling states from emotional states, & use it to navigate difficult circumstances more easily. If you enjoy it, then I invite you to my Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass this Saturday 25th April, 2.30-4.30pm, live or online!

This week’s Wednesday & Saturday class continue our inner-smile meditation series, which is also focused on mindfulness around emotions. All welcome.

In the spirit of ease,

Toby

How to stop difficult feelings becoming negative emotions

The difference between feelings and emotions

One of the most useful distinctions in Buddhist insight meditation that I have found is the distinction between feelings and emotions. Broadly speaking feelings are simply the experience of that which is pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. By contrast emotions arise from a psychological process that involves thinking in a particular way about a feeling. Here are two simple examples:

I see a person who has wronged me in the past, instinctively an unpleasant feeling arises. I then start to reflect on the harm that they have caused me and develop anger or anger. This anger is the emotion, arising from the psychological process of paying attention to the harm done in combination with the initial unpleasant feelings.
I am sick, giving rise to unpleasant feelings in my body. I start to think about how this sickness is ruining my only two weeks of holiday in the year and I start to develop the emotions of frustration, despair and sadness.

Here we can start to see the basic distinction; pain is simply the feeling arising within the moment. We experience emotion when we combine a feeling with a psychological process of focusing on the feeling in a particular way.
With regard to painful feelings, often we compound the pain they cause us by focusing on them in a way that causes us to experience emotional suffering, as in the examples above. The key therefore in preventing painful feelings becoming full blown emotional suffering is to avoid thinking about them or focusing on them in such a way that negative emotions are stimulated.

Some sources of painful feelings

The five sources of painful feelings below are a non-exhaustive list, but it gives an idea of the variety of different sources that can cause painful feelings within us. Any of them if focused on in the wrong way can cause negative emotions to arise:

Physical pain arising from sickness or injury
Pain or irritability arising from hormonal or other biological or energetic imbalances within the body
From people who say or do harmful things to us or have done so in the past
From psychological and/or existential anxiety, e.g.: Worried about not being good enough, fear of dying, fear of stepping out of comfort zone etc…
From spiritual crisis; for example, when the old self or ego structures are collapsing in order for a new level of self-sense to arise.

An insight meditation for acknowledging and releasing negative feelings

Here is a brief insight meditation form that we can use to prevent difficult feelings turning into negative emotions:

Stage 1: Breathing in I am aware of my painful feelings,
Breathing out I acknowledge those feelings fully.
Stage 2: Breathing in I experience my tight grasping at those painful feelings,
Breathing out I relax my grasping at those feelings,
Stage 3: Breathing in I detach from those feelings,
Breathing out I extend compassion and understanding to those feelings.

In stage one as we breathe in, we become consciously aware of any painful feelings we may be experiencing, as we breathe out, we acknowledge them fully. Often, we try and repress or deny negative feelings, which in turn allow them to build and transform into negative emotions. Fully acknowledging what is there and gives feelings the attention they need in order to be addressed.

In stage two we observe how we are clinging to these painful feelings, grasping at them tightly. Then, as we breathe out, we consciously release that tight grasping, energetically relaxing our body and mind.

In stage three we detach from those painful feelings, at the same time as extending a feeling of compassion and understanding toward them. We combine the objective experience of detachment with the positive emotional tonalities of compassion and understanding.

Suggestions for Daily Practice

The essential point is that feelings can be distinguished from emotions, and we can prevent negative emotions from arising by avoiding focusing on painful feelings in the wrong way.
The brief meditation technique I describe above can be done as a two-minute exercise or as an extended meditation, taking a few minutes to focus on each of the stages. It is a meditation that is worth doing sometimes even if we are not fully aware of any negative feelings inside us, as often it will bring to light feelings within us the need a bit of tender loving care.
Of course if there are also practical things that we can do to alleviate the negative feelings, like taking medicine, or having a conversation to clear the air with our partner about a hurt we have then this should be done to!

Related reading: “Insight Meditation – Improving Your Subjective Experience by Developing Your Objective Perspective”

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing on Wednesdays – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Ongoing on Saturdays – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Saturday 25th April, 2.30-4.30pm – Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

A Mind of Ease Inner vision Insight Meditation Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership

Mindful of – the quest for safety & excitement

Post author By Toby
Post date April 20, 2026

“How can you start co-creating a greater sense of both safety & excitement in your life today?”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at how to transform conflicting desires into complementary desires. Its a topic that comes up quite often in my Life-fullness life coaching, and in my executive coaching, and getting a hang for it can open up lots of positive possibilties.

This week’s Wednesday & Saturday class continue our inner-smile meditation, with the focus being on ‘Meditating on the lungs & on transforming sadness/depression, cultivating courage.’ All welcome!

In the spirit of integration,

Toby

The quest for both safety and excitement

Our contradictory desires

One of the challenges that we face to our sense of even-mindedness in life is that we have desires. Not just desires, but conflicting desires that actively seem to be pulling against each other!

We want safety and excitement in life
We want money but also plenty of free time
We want our body to look good, but don’t want to suffer from exertion

The list could go on, but I want to just double click on the safety and excitement and look at that as a primary example. One of our most feared emotions is, well, fear itself! Many of us feel uncomfortable about fear, and act to avoid it, and its subsidiaries, insecurity and anxiety. We desire safety, physically, psychologically, spiritually, and take out the element of risk, uncertainty, and danger (real or perceived). In an attempt to experience safety:

We choose to trade the hours of our day for work that pays a salary
We settle into a predictable romantic relationship
We stay with known patterns and activities in our life

The issue with this then becomes that our life feels boring, predictable, unexciting. This then blocks another common desire, the desire for excitement in life, for variety, change, growth, adventure! To get excitement in our life we have to create a degree of risk, an encountering of the unknown, a place where the result is not guaranteed.

If we aren’t careful, we find ourself locked between the horns of these two desires. Our desire for safety stifles the excitement we crave. The excitement we crave threatens our sense of safety and stability. Either way we are unhappy, or feel unhappy because it looks like a loose-loose paradigm, we feel condemned by the contradiction.

From contradictory to complementary – Both and, not either or

In my Life-fullness life coaching, and in my executive coaching, quite a lot of what I do is help people spot contradictions or conflicts in their life, and work on balancing them out, turning them into mutually enhancing polarities that can propel them toward a better experience. In the case of safety and excitement, I can create a greater sense of safety by:

Recognizing that I am physically safe almost all the time, and that the illusion of danger on the biological level is often merely an imbalance in my nervous system
I can create psychological safety by choosing to be mindful of my inner narrative, supporting myself, not attacking myself
I can articulate my vision of a greater intelligence in the universe that is benevolent toward me, thus learning to recognize and rest in a sense of spiritual safety

By cultivating in this way, I can feel more secure in life, satisfying my desire for safety. Having done this, I can then use that sense of safety to take more positive risk, and court excitement in my life! With my broader sense of safety, I can:

Be a bit more socially daring/entertaining, without being afraid of judgments
I can assert my wishes and desires for a fulfilling work life, not just staying silent and keeping on keeping on for fear of change
I can take up activities I am not yet good at but want to be, and not be so afraid of looking foolish as I do so

With my healthy sense of safety, I can cultivate MORE excitement in my life, and my desire for both becomes a mutually supporting, virtuous cycle.
How can you start co-creating a greater sense of safety and excitement in your life today?

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing on Wednesdays – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Ongoing on Saturdays – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Saturday 25th April, 2.30-4.30pm – Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

Awareness and insight Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

Are you building self-esteem or self-alienation?

Post author By Toby
Post date April 13, 2026

“What are the areas of your life that you tend to get stuck in self-alienation? How can you start using self-acceptance in these situations, strengthening your self-esteem in the process?”

Dear Integral Meditators,

In this week’s article I look at self-alienation as an object of mindful enquiry. In my view self-alienation is a common, pervasive issue for many people. If we can start to see it, we can start to deal with it! It is a topic that comes up with regularity in both my shadow coaching work, and my therpeutic mindfulness coaching.

If the subject interests you, then you might enjoy the Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass on Saturday 25th April, 2.30-4.30pm.

In the spirit of integration,

Toby

Are you building self-esteem or self-alienation?

Self-esteem is

One way of thinking about self esteem is as having two parts:

The part that considers ourself to be worthy of happiness and to have value
The part of us that feels capable and effective in the face of life and life’s challenges

If you have self-esteem as a foundational building block of your psychological experience of life, it will affect almost everything else in a positive way.

Self-alienation is

Self-Alienation happens whenever we turn away from, reject, or repress awareness of an aspect of ourself. We literally cut ourselves off from a part of who we are, and this part becomes a stranger to, or alienated from our conscious self. Nathaniel Branden wrote a book ‘The disowned self’ on the subject of all the different ways in which we alienate ourself from ourself. It mostly does not happen consciously, very few people wake up saying to themselves “Today I am going to practice self-alienation, and dis-own different parts of myself.” Nevertheless, without knowing it many of us do exactly this, without understanding that it is happening, or how we are doing it.

Why & how we create self-alienation when trying to create self-esteem

Let’s say I am deeply disappointed about not getting a job opportunity that I had interviewed for and had a good chance of getting. To protect myself from the difficult feelings and ‘lowness’ of feeling disappointed (and like a ‘loser’) I repress them, banishing them from my consciousness. By doing this I am trying to protect my self-esteem, but what I am really doing is alienating myself from the part of me that feels disappointed. This ‘disappointed self’ is the very part of me needing support and acknowledgement in that moment. Instead, I turn away from him and disown him.
In this example my instinctive efforts to protect my self-esteem actually sabotage it, and make me weaker by cutting myself off from a part of me. Secondarily, and just as importantly, sub-consciously a part of me will know that I have done this, and will know that we have ‘betrayed ourself’ on some fundamental level. This further lowers our REAL self-esteem, but tragically it has been done to protect the very self-esteem that we are damaging.

Self-acceptance as a route to genuine self-esteem

Let us say that, in the face of my disappointment over the job opportunity, instead of repressing and alienating my disappointment I turn towards it, acknowledging and accepting it. I allow myself to feel and experience my emotions, expressing a degree of understanding and care toward the part of me in pain. By bringing into consciousness the wounded part, and choosing to accept and look after it I:

Increase my self-esteem by displaying both courage and competency in the face of a challenge
I keep my personality from being divided against itself, it remains interconnected and in integrity
I actually pass through the disappointment much more quickly, feeling much more resilient and adaptable as a result

Self-acceptance becomes a route to higher self-confidence and self-esteem, preventing the disastrous (and often unconscious) results of self-alienation and dis-association.

What are the areas of your life that you tend to get stuck in self-alienation? How can you start using self-acceptance in these situations, strengthening your self-esteem in the process?

Related reading: Choosing to be on Your Own Side
Motivating Yourself to Meditate Part 2 – Meeting Your Deeper & Higher Needs Through Meditation

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing on Wednesdays – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Ongoing on Saturdays – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Saturday 25th April, 2.30-4.30pm – Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, self-alienation, self-esteem

A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Inner smile & Earth healing Inner vision Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

Mindfulness, emotions & your MRVA’s (Mass rapid value assessments)

Post author By Toby
Post date April 6, 2026

“If we can allow ourselves to skilfully acknowledge & experience difficult emotions, there is a corresponding release of a range of positive, enjoyable emotions.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article focuses on emotions & how you work with them as a major lynch-pin of your energetic resilience. Its something that we will be exploring in depth in the new Wednesday and Saturday meditation series on building confidence & resilience with the inner-smile practice.

In the spirit of integration,

Toby

Mindfulness, emotions & your MRVA’s (Mass rapid value assessments)

In my upcoming meditation series on building confidence and energetic resilience in life, we will be focusing on developing a range of mindful skills, including:

Healing and regenerating the energy of your physical body and internal organs
Revitalise and transform your emotional vitality
Build a warm, empowered & confident relationship to your life

To really get these skills to work effectively, we need to understand the energy of emotions, their power, and how to get them to flow healthily within us. Emotions are psych-somatic, partaking of both our bodily and mental energy. A good relationship to emotions opens our life-force and joie de vivre tremendously. A blocked or combattative relationship to our emotions tends to constrict our life-force, limiting our energy in life no matter how hard we try. Here is a working definition of emotion from Nathaniel Branden, for the purposes of this article

“An emotion is a value-response. It is an automatic psychological result (involving mental and somatic features) of a super-rapid subconscious appraisal. Emotions are psychosomatic embodiments of value judgments…Since emotions are the product of complex integrations of ideas beliefs and experiences, they cannot be commanded out of existence, neither by and act of will or by repression. It is a disastrous error to imagine that an emotion – merely because it is judged undesirable – can be repressed or dismissed with impunity.” *

Emotions happen very quickly then, as our body-mind engages in many ‘Mass rapid value assessments’ (MRVA’s). Once an emotion has been stimulated, it IS, whether we like it or not. So how should we approach it. To quote Branden again:

“If we acknowledge and permit ourselves to experience our painful or undesired feelings, without self-pity, and without self-condemnation, we facilitate the process of healing integration.” *

If we can allow ourselves to skilfully acknowledge and experience difficult emotions, a corollary benefit will be the release of a whole range of positive, enjoyable emotions.

How to acknowledge and experience emotions

A simple way to begin is to sit down, sense into yourself and simply describe the emotions you are feeling. You can either do this organically with whatever is there in the moment, or with regard to a particular emotion you are struggling with. As you do this you will notice there are both bodily and mental aspects to it. My go-to practice for years now has been something called sentence completion. You create a sentence stem, and then complete it, either writing or verbally around ten times, in whatever way occurs to you, as quickly and non-judgmentally as you can.

Here is an example around depression:
If I allow myself to experience and acknowledge the feeling I am calling depression within me –

I feel like there is a huge weight on my shoulders
My eyes stare from hollow sockets
My mouth hangs open like a zombie
I want to sleep for a thousand years
I feel overwhelmed by all the things I have to do
I resent others for leaving me with all the responsibility
I feel confused about what to do next
The world feels like an insurmountable mountain
I can feel myself more present in my body now, landing and feeling stronger
I feel a release and renewed enthusiasm and I move through it

Here you can see that, by the end of the sentence completion I’m already kind of pulling out of the difficult emotion, and moving toward something better. Better still, I have processed the emotion and an now move on from it into the next part of the day in freedom.
All this can sound a bit too good to be true until you actually try it, but once you get the hang of it all sorts of possibilities start to open up!

* Quote: Nat Branden, from ‘the Disowned Self’, chapter on the undiscovered self (Page 27 & 33)

Related reading: Mindfulness around emotions
Accepting & recycling your difficult emotions
Connecting to higher, deeper emotions (Enjoying emotional resilience)

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Starts Wednesday 8^th April, 7.30-8.30pm, & then ongoing – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Saturday 11^th April, 5.30-6.15pm SG time, & then ongoing – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Tags emotional mindfulness, inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind