Category: Meditation and Psychology

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Making yourself bigger

“Whatever us going on in the small temporal experience you are having right now, you are bigger than it, and it is workable”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article looks at the scale of who you think you are, and suggests some mindful ways to change the balance in a positive way!

If you enjoy the article, we will be meditating on this topic in both the  Tues/Weds class  and the Saturday deep-dive sessions. I invite you to join us either live, online or via the recording.

In the spirit of bigger (in this case) being better, 

Toby

 


Making yourself bigger
 
The feeling of oppressed
 
Whenever we feel, if you observe the experience of being stressed, scared or overwhelmed, it is often something like:

  • My body feels contracted in on itself, reduced. My sense of ‘I’ follows this
  • The challenge feels LARGE, much bigger than mee, like a tall building or monster towering over you
  • A sense of being weak or helpless in the face of this massively larger, more powerful force

 
This feeling then makes not just the presenting challenge more difficult, but everything that happens to you. Life feels like a struggle, a trap, something that you are a victim of.
 
Working with scale
 
About eight years ago I had an experience sitting in meditation where I felt my body was not just a small body sitting in my room, but large, as big, bigger than the apartment block. It was as if I was sitting in the landscape like a large building, looking down upon everything. Along with this literal feeling was an experience of feeling stronger, more powerful in relation to my life. It changed my sense of how I existed in relation to my challenges, in relation to what was possible. As well as power, there was a feeling of calm confidence.
I stayed with this feeling for several weeks, letting it become a part of my foundational way of going and being, I had literally become bigger!
 
Beyond psychology
 
The Yogachara school of Buddhism asserts that all our internal problems come from a mistaken sense of self. We perceive ourself as a small being, inside our skin, with a separate, foreign world outside of us. In reality, it asserts, our True Self, or Self-as-Consciousness is infinite and boundless. As this infinite and boundless self, we are not in the world, the world is in us! We are as huge infinite and boundless as consciousness itself!
By engaging in some simple Yogachara-ic ‘mindful shifts’ we can achieve some quite remarkable changes in our experience, I’m placing a few below.
 
Some mindful positions on Bigness
 
Sitting in meditation, walking, or otherwise in a state where you can settle into a mindful condition, use the following simple sentences as anchors for exploration:

  • I am not in my body, my body is in me (as a boundless, timeless consciousness)
  • I am not in the room, the room is in me
  • I am not walking/sitting in this landscape, the landscape is in me
  • I am not on the Earth, the planet is in me
  • I am not within the orbit of the moon, the Lunar sphere is within me
  • I am not within the Sun & solar system (Galaxy, Universe, whole of Creation), they are within me
  • I am not in life, life is within me, I am Life

Everything is happening within you, within your boundless Body, Mind and Heart. Whatever us going on in the small temporal experience you are having right now, you are bigger than it, and it is workable.
 
Related reading:
Non-Dual meditation & Organismic reality
Making yourself big
Connecting to Your Big Mind (Is the Mind in the Body or the Body in the Mind?)
Born from Life, not into it
Small Focused Mind, Big Open Mind


© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 

All upcoming classes & workshops
 

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Starts Tues 11th, Weds 12th February, 7.30-8.30 pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to non-dual meditation practice

Begins Saturday 15th February – Freedom & Fullness deep-dive non-dual meditation sessions

Tues 18th, Weds 19th March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Concentration Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Breathing Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Primal Spirituality spiritual intelligence Zen Meditation

Dancing between time & eternity

“The Eternal Present a place (or non-place) we can take a holiday, returning to time & our life refreshed,
enthused & ready to go”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article looks at time mastery from a meditative perspective. If you enjoy it it will be a focus point of this week’s meditation classes on Tuesday & Wednesday. 
The Eternal Present will also be a point of deeper focus of the upcoming Tues & Weds Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to non-dual meditation practice classes, as well as the companion deep-dive non-dual meditation sessions beginning on Saturday 15th February, 5.30pm SG time.

In the spirit of Presence, 

Toby


Dancing between time & eternity
 
Looked at from a certain point of view, we are points of energy moving in time and space. That may see a little abstract, but really it is quite simple, mastery of human life involves mastery of our time, our energy and our movement, physical, mental, emotional spiritual. In this article I want to focus on time mastery, outlining four mindful positions that can be used progressively and then in a circular, mutually re-enforcing manner. Here they are.
 
Position 1 – Positivity in time. This first position entails becoming present enough to be aware of the stream of thoughts and experiences flowing through your body-mind and, even though you might still be a bit distracted, steering your attention towards the positive. For example, as I am sitting here now watching my attention, I can notice that;

  • my sore back is feeling much better today than yesterday
  • I’m looking forward to doing some gentle exercise tonight
  • I’m enjoying the process of writing
  • I’m slept well last night

So, the idea here is that, as I stay generally present and self-aware, I keep my attention primarily centred around objects that give rise to resilient, positive thoughts and feelings.
 
Position 2 – The present moment in time. In this second position I’m interested in trying to identify THIS present moment in time, as it moves through time, and staying with it. Using my breathing as an orientation point:

  • As I breathe in, I am focused and aware of this present moment in time
  • As I breathe out, I relax into the PMIT, noticing what is there

Practising in this way we build proficiency at being more present and in the now-moment in time, not lost in thought, not falling asleep. This builds temporary peace of mind, trains in undistracted concentration and builds relaxed focus that is useful both in meditation and daily life.
 
Position 3 – The eternal present. As I relax into the present moment in time, I start to notice that there is a watcher, or a witness within myself that is simply awareness, a formless consciousness. This witness-self always remains the same; an always open expanse of pure, free awareness. If I turn my attention away from the objects of consciousness, the things that come and go in time, and instead gently rest in the freedom of consciousness itself I start to drop into the Eternal Present. This is the present moment beyond time. It is not moving from moment to moment, it is the always already here and now. It is the space that contains all time(!) By practising position three, we drop out if time into the formless timeless Present. This is great for a radical deepening and expanding of our consciousness in meditation, but it is also fantastic for giving our everyday mind a complete break from all its worries and concerns in time. It’s a place we can rest and take a holiday, returning to time and our life refreshed, enthused, creative and ready to go!
 
Position 4 – Integration of the three positions. The three positions above summarized are:

  • Different degrees of distracted in time, but being present enough to keep your attention sufficiently focused on the positive to build resilience and perspective
  • Increasing proficiency at being in the present-moment-in-time, both in and out of meditation
  • Dropping into the Eternal Present to enjoy the radical freedom and bliss of it, then returning to time and life refreshed and enthused

Position 4 then is practising them together, in meditation and informally in daily life, so that most of our time we are in one or other of these conditions, dancing in and out of time lightly, creatively and playfully.
 
Related reading: Eternal life (& where to find it)
The Eternal Present and the Four Types of Time
 

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 
 

All upcoming classes & workshops
 

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Final session this week! 7.30-8.30pm – The Wisdom of Awakening Series – Meditation for leaping into reality

Saturday February 8th, 15th, 22nd, 10-11.40am – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – a three module course

Starts Tues 11th, Weds 12th February, 7.30-8.30 pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to non-dual meditation practice

Begins Saturday 15th February – Freedom & Fullness deep-dive non-dual meditation sessions

Tues 18th, Weds 19th March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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A Mind of Ease creative imagery Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness spiritual intelligence

Inner transformation – Slippers & carpets

“Seeing reality isn’t easy, because our mind throws our idea of what we think we are seeing onto what we see”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks a wise way to mindfully work with what you can control in your life. If you like the article, you are invited to come along to this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class, where we will be taking this subject as our object of meditation.
 
Also a heads up for this Saturday’s Deep-dive breathing meditation masterclass where we will focus on developing a multi-faceted breathing meditation practice that helps you grow and learn in the face of life’s challenges, and connect you to deep inner stability.
 
In the spirit of slippers,

Toby

 


Inner transformation – Slippers & carpets
 
TRANSFORMATION – by Anthony De Mello
To a disciple who was forever complaining about others, the Master said, “If it is
peace you want, seek to change yourself, not other people. It is easier to protect your feet
with slippers than to carpet the whole of the earth.”
 
This short story is one that I used to use a lot when I was teaching meditation classes as a monk back in the 1990’s. It’s a really good analogy for helping to re-orientate our attention when we are feeling out of balance, and if you think about meditation as a way of ‘protecting your feet with slippers’, then it’s a nice way to encourage regular practice!
 
Annoyed and overwhelmed – trying to fix the world
 
It’s easy to get in the trap of being in a situation where you have limited control, trying to control everything, and then feeling frustrated, disappointed and overwhelmed. This goes for smaller scale situations at work or at home, or simply when watching or reading about world events on the news. ‘Carpeting the world’ is a huge ask which, if you think about it rationally is a ridiculous thing to be trying to do. But if we are not mindful, we keep on attempting it and reap the same result time and time again.

  • In your relationships, are you trying to ‘fix’ your partner instead of working on ways that you can stay inwardly centred yourself?
  • At work do you often find yourself complaining about how it ‘should’ be, rather than accepting what is and making choices based on that?

Mindful of your locus of control – dancing between acceptance and assertion

“What is it that I am in control of here?” Is always a good question to ask as a way to find out how to work with a situation. One consistent answer that you will notice coming back to you time and time again is “I am (potentially) in charge of my thoughts, attitudes and emotions regarding this situation”.

In other worlds you can control what is going in within you. Working on what you notice happening inside is a way of ‘making slippers’ that will always give a high reward wherever you are. Of course, you can’t control literally every thought and feeling, but you can take responsibility for your inner life, and start to make improvements that begin protecting your feet from stones and other sharp objects.

Maybe there are some things outside of you that you are also in control of, so you can consider asserting yourself and acting around these as well. But asking what you are in control of will also make obvious lots of things that you simply can’t control and have to accept. In this sense acceptance of our limits of control should always be a part of our ‘slipper building’ process. For example, I find it quite a relief thinking about the limits of my control regarding whether people like me or not, or want to work with me. I just do what I can within the limits of conscience, and then relax!

One of the biggest and most useful things to accept is ‘I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CARPET THE WORLD!’

Three mindful slipper positions

In this situation (of your choice):

  • Am I trying to carpet the world rather than make slippers?
  • What do I need to accept in order to make my slippers?
  • What inwardly and outwardly can I do that will also contribute to my slipper building?

Related article: Effortless adaptation – Solving all your problems & none (II)


© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Meditation classes & workshops in with Toby:

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

From Tues 7th/Weds 8th January, 7.30-8.30pm – The Wisdom of Awakening Series – Meditation for leaping into reality

Saturday, 25th January, 9.30-11.30am – Deep-dive breathing meditation masterclass

Saturday, 25th January, 5-6pm – Engaged mindfulness & meditation class – ‘Honesty, release and redirection – three levels of non-judgment’

Wednesday 29th January, 7.30-8.30pm – Lunar New Year Meditation 2025: Developing your wisdom, intuition & renewal in the year of the wood snake

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Inner vision Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection mindful dreaming Presence and being present Zen Meditation

Paper trees, paper flowers

“Seeing reality isn’t easy, because our mind throws our idea of what we think we are seeing onto what we see”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at the dance between conceptual reality and reality itself. If you like the article, you are invited to come along to this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class, where we will be taking this subject as our object of meditation.

Other upcoming events include the Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop this Saturday the 18th. Scroll beow the article for the full list!

In the spirit of beyond paper, 

Toby

 


Paper trees, paper flowers
 
DREAMS – by Anthony De Mello
“When will I be enlightened?” “When you see.” the Master said. “See what?”
“Trees and flowers and moon and stars.” “But I see these everyday.”
“No. What you see is paper trees, paper flowers, paper moons and paper stars. For you
live, not in reality, but in your words and thoughts.”
And, for good measure, he added gently, “You live a paper life alas, and will die a paper death.”
 
Living in your mind

A large part of the quest of meditation is to live in reality, rather than in an illusion. When we are lost in thought then the reality that we are inhabiting is essentially a fantasy reality, or a secondary, mental reality made up of words and thoughts. In the short story above, the master calls this a ‘paper’ reality, or a reality made up of paper and words, like a book.
Of course it is good to develop your mind, your thinking and conceptual capability, but when this mode of experiencing takes over, dominating our daily perception and experience, you can say that we lose contact with actual reality, and become lost in paper reality.
 
Dualistic appearance – Even when you see things, you don’t see things

So, we can come back to the present moment, and try and experience our immediate reality, and go beyond the paper. If we do this and watch closely however, we will start to notice that it’s not quite so simple, because when we see something or somebody, our mind immediately throws our idea of what we think we are seeing onto what we see.
In Buddhist philosophy, this is called dualistic appearance, or – ‘The appearance of an object to our mind together with our generic, or conceptual image of that object’. If you watch closely, you will start to see your mind doing this. It is difficult to spot at first, because it happens in a fraction of a second, and once done the object, and the idea we have ‘thrown’ onto it merge and appear as one. Dualistic appearance is like having a projector behind you, projecting mental images onto the reality that you see in front of you, like in the cinema.
 
Conceptual education – A part of the challenge

From a young age, the dominant mode of education for most of us is conceptual and intellectual. This makes living in a paper world doubly difficult, as we have spent A LOT of our time literally living in a paper world as we studied. By the time we finish our education, conceptual perception tends to dominate our other forms of perception, and we literally spend most of our time lost in a world of words and concepts, or ‘paper’.
 
Three stages to going from paper life to real life:

  • Notice how much of the time that you get caught up in a paper or mental world, lost in thoughts. Make a conscious effort to come back to the moment and be where you are, with what you have immediately around and within you
  • Notice that, even when you do this, your mind is projecting it’s idea of what it thinks is there, onto the thing itself. Try and mindfully see that happening in real time
  • Practice putting down the projection, and just seeing the thing you are focused on itself, as it is, without the ‘paper’ projection


© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Meditation classes & workshops in January 2025 with Toby:

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

From Tues 7th/Weds 8th January, 7.30-8.30pm – The Wisdom of Awakening Series – Meditation for leaping into reality

Saturday 18th January 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday, 25th January, 9.30-11.30am – Deep-dive breathing meditation masterclass

Saturday, 25th January, 5-6pm – Engaged mindfulness & meditation class – ‘Honesty, release and redirection – three levels of non-judgment’

Wednesday 29th January, 7.30-8.30pm – Lunar New Year Meditation 2025: Developing your wisdom, intuition & renewal in the year of the wood snake

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Enlightened Flow Essential Spirituality Inner vision Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience One Minute Mindfulness Presence and being present Zen Meditation

Awakening, not over-thinking

“Growth is achieved by degrees. Enlightenment is instantaneous”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at the practice of waking-up, which is something that we can practice ‘leaping’ into anytime, anywhere. If you like the article, you are invited to come along to this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class, where we will be taking this subject as our object of meditation.

In the spirit of awakening, 

Toby

 


Awakening, not over-thinking
 
Enlightenment – Waking up to the freedom of awareness
There is a precept in soto zen that goes something like “One must not wait for awakening.” What this means is that you can touch the freedom of the present moment simply by letting go of your pre-occupations and awakening to exactly where you are. You might think of this enlightenment or awakening as having three levels. You start at level one, which even a beginner can do in a rudimentary way, and as you build confidence you work onto levels two and three.
 
Level one involves simply being fully present to an experience. It could be physical/sensory, it could be thought, or even the more subtle experience of awareness itself. You might think of it as a non-resistance to what is, an acceptance that facilitates an awakening to life in the moment.
 
Level two involves noticing that there is an observer within you, a witness that is present to whatever is there. This witness is the ‘I Am’ within you. With a bit of practice, you can not only awaken to objects of awareness in the present, but also that which is aware of the objects in the present, which is the witness, or your enlightened nature itself.
 
Level three involves insight into the not oneness and not two-ness of the object of awareness (level one) with that which witnesses the object of awareness (level two)’

  • If the witnessing awareness is like the ocean, the object of awareness is like a wave
  • If the witnessing awareness is like the sun, the object of awareness is like a light-ray from the sun

This non-one, not-two experience moves us toward a non-dual or unitive awakening in the moment.
The above three practices are methods of awakening, or ‘Waking up’, and you really just have to commit to doing it again and again, awakening to this moment of your life as best you can and ‘improving’ through practice.
 
Awakening, not over-thinking – a practical reflection
 
Over the Christmas period I travelled back to see my family, and spent almost the entire time sick with a bad flu. One of the main ways in which I worked with this in terms of enlightenment and awakening was simply practicing the three levels above:

  1. Being present to the experience as it was
  2. Being aware of my witness
  3. Resting the not-one, not-two-ness of positions one and two

This enabled me to:

  • not over-think about the ‘bad luck’ or difficulty of my situation
  • simply accept it as I found it.

As a result, I was able to minimize my pain, make the experience into a form of meditation, and endure it with a degree of patience.
Of course, I did spend some time thinking and reflecting on my experience, but (almost)) always in the context of finding mental perspectives that are useful and helpful, rather than ruminating.
 
I’ll end with a short story from Anthony De Mello entitled “Rebirth” that illustrates nicely some important ideas around awakening related to this article.
 
REBIRTH
“Make a clean break with your past and you will be enlightened,” said the ‘Master.
“I am doing that by degrees.”
“Growth is achieved by degrees. Enlightenment is instantaneous.”
Later he said, “Take the leap! You cannot cross a chasm in little jumps.”


© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Meditation classes & workshops in January 2025 with Toby:

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

From Tues 7th/Weds 8th January, 7.30-8.30pm – The Wisdom of Awakening Series – Meditation for leaping into reality

Saturday 18th January 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday, 25th January, 9.30-11.30am – Deep-dive breathing meditation masterclass

Saturday, 25th January, 5-6pm – Engaged mindfulness & meditation class – ‘Honesty, release and redirection – three levels of non-judgment’

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership

Destiny & fate, empowerment or victimhood?

“The micro-actions that we do add up, like drops of water in a pot. Do enough of them and they can create a sea-change in your life, & your destiny”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article explores the distinctions between destiny & fate, & how to use mindfulness to work with them creatively in your life. 

If you enjoy the article, it will be the focus subject of this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday evening class , you’d be welcome to come along, live or online!
This class is also the first in a series on the ‘Wisdom of awakening’, details of which are below.

In the spirit of destiny,

Toby
 

 
Article of the week

Destiny & fate, empowerment or victimhood?
 
DESTINY
To a woman who complained about her destiny the Master said, “It is you who make
your destiny.”
“But surely I am not responsible for being born a woman?”
“Being born a woman isn’t destiny. That is fate. Destiny is how you accept your
womanhood and-what you make of it.”
– From Anthony De Mellos ‘One minute wisdom’
 
Mindful of your destiny
 
Here we might consider destiny as “what you do with what life has given you”. You may recognize the voice within yourself that says ‘I have no choice or freedom here, I am a victim of circumstance, there is nothing I can do about this (except complain, or feel hard done by). In this context our destiny is understood as what we make of what we have got/have been given. In this sense destiny is a creative word; we create our destiny, it is in our hands. Sitting mindfully with a phrase such as “I am the primary creator of my destiny” and opening to the feelings and energy that comes from that can help us to access this inner power.
 
Accepting of your fate
 
In the same way that creating our destiny is a power, so is accepting our fate. Indeed, creating our destiny depends upon our acceptance of the life and circumstances we have been given. Without this acceptance there is no way that we can work with what we have, because we reject it. This non-acceptance actively prevents us from asking the question “What can I do with what I have got?” In a certain sense, acceptance is a type of positive indifference to our fortune, whether it be good or bad. It simply opens to what is, and this accepting of what is opens the doorway to destiny-creation.
 
Mindful of victimhood
 
Acceptance of our fate is not passive victim-consciousness. It is a strength that pre-ceeds the power of destiny-creation. Pick an area of your life where something maybe has not turned out that great (in your limited opinion), and practice observing and breathing with it in the spirit of acceptance. After a while you will start to see quite clearly that it is calm, collected, and empowering. It is not at all like victim-consciousness or feeling persecuted. It is a power, not a weakness.
 
Empowering yourself to create your destiny though mindful questions
 
These can be asked around a specific part of your life, or in a more general sense:
What is the fate that I need to accept?
What is the destiny that I can choose to embrace and create?
Where is the voice of the victim-of-fate within me? How can I prevent it sabotaging me?
What is/are the next step/s today to creating my destiny?
 
Micro & macro destiny
 
You might think of destiny as being mainly about the big things in your life, and the big achievements. That is not untrue, but equally I think it’s about the things that you choose in small situations, in micro-experiences. After all, the micro-actions that we do add up, like drops of water in a pot. Do enough of them and they can create a sea-change in your life and your destiny!
 
Related article: Intention determines trajectory – Aspects of integrated mindful intention

 © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Concentration Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Tree of Life Zen Meditation

Your basic mandala of presence – The four trees

“Whenever you feel scattered, sit in your mandala of presence, & feel the return of your basic sanity”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article explores the idea and practice of a ‘Meditation mandala’ that can be used in various ways to improve the elements of your practice, enjoy!

This week’s Tues/Weds meditation session is on “Envisioning & presence, climbing the mindful mountain”,
And this Saturday at 30th  1700 SG time is the Engaged mindfulness & meditation online class on the subject of the three C’s of engaged mindfulness. 

In the spirit of presence,

Toby
 


Tues & Weds 26th & 27th Nov, 7.30-8.30pm, Integral Meditation class (Live & online): Climbing the mindful mountain; intention & your life-design

“Envisioning involves visualizing with hope, optimism and appropriate ambition a goal that you want to achieve in the future, being specific about what it looks like”

This is a meditation class about:

  1. How to connect what you do each day to the life you want to manifest
  2. To link your medium and long term goals to your everyday actions.
  3. To enjoy this process and build Confidence in yourself as you do it

 
Article of the week: Your basic mandala of presence – The four trees
 
We can consider our basic meditation state as being the following:
Not lost in thought, not falling asleep, in the present moment, and aware of an anchor, or focus point in the present, such as the body and breathing
 
Once we have a sense of our basic meditation state, we can expand the definition a little, just to refine and deepen our sense of presence:
Basic meditative presence is not being lost in thought, not falling asleep, in the present moment, and aware of an anchor, or focus point in the present, such as the body and breathing. Furthermore it is not being absorbed in the future, and not living in the past.
 
These definitions give us a blue-print for building meditative presence, that we can then use as a basic ‘space’ within which we can place any other meditation practice that we may wish to develop,

  • If you want to place basic vipassana or witnessing meditation in there, you can
  • If you want to focus on mantra yoga in there, you can
  • If you want to do sports visualization you can
  • If you want to practice therapeutic mindfulness you can

You get the idea; you can use it for other meditation practices. Equally you can use it as a meditation practice in itself. I like to do this by creating what I call a ‘Mandala of presence’:
 
Imagine yourself sitting in a peaceful place between four trees, one is in front of you, one behind, one to the left, one to the right. See them as being maybe 2-4 meters distance away. Now simply use your body & breathing as an anchor for your awareness in the present moment, and stay there. The trees are your boundary-points:

  • Going beyond the left-hand tree means getting lost in thought
  • Going beyond the right-hand tree means falling asleep
  • Going beyond the tree behind you means living in the past
  • Going beyond the tree in front of you means being lost in the future

 
Notice you can be present to thoughts without being lost in them. You can also feel a little sleepy without falling asleep. You can be aware of a thought about past or future without living in the past or being lost in the future. So, it is quite a broad, forgiving space that you can hang out in and build stable, good quality, increasingly deep meditative presence.
 
A simple way to enhance the practice is to breathe as follows:

  • Breathing in, breathe your energy into your body, into the present and feel the fullness of that presence
  • As you breathe out, relax into the freedom of your awareness in the present

Build your sense of both freedom and fullness of presence as you meditate, dropping gradually deeper and deeper into meditation.
 
This is a practice I use not just in formal meditation, but also informally. Whenever I feel a little scattered, I bring my attention back to the here and now, sit between the four trees for a while, and return to my basic sanity.
 
Related reading:
The foundational pillars or ‘goal-posts’ of meditative presence
Finding Your Spiritual, Physical Home
Making your physical awareness balanced & whole
Sky & sun, freedom & fullness© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

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Jackal or Tiger? – Creative, wise courage

“Do I want to leap like a tiger here, or listen to the voice of my wise inner jackal”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article is a ‘part 2’ from my earlier article on Are you solar or lunar?, but it also stands alone by itself. 

This week’s Tues/Weds meditation session is on “The generosity of the Bodhisattva”, which relates closely to the Tiger/Jackal theme!

Reminder of this Saturday’s Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self in the morning & Engaged mindfulness & meditation online class at 1700SG time. 

In the spirit of leaping,

Toby
 

 
Article of the week: Jackal or Tiger? – Creative, wise courage


 
I want to tell a short story, then tell a story about myself and my coaching clients that illustrates the greater awakening of both my and their creative nature.
 
Leaping like a tiger
There is a Tibetan folk story about Milarepa, who was one of their most famous ‘Yogis’ or spiritual practitioners. He is loved because his story shows how a poor, socially dis-advantaged person with many obstacles can still achieve greatness (in this case a spiritual enlightenment) in that life. The tale goes like this:
 
Milarepa was once asked by someone why he had become a hermit and recluse, rather than following his teacher Marpa’s example of being a lay meditator & practising whilst at the same time having a family, running a farm & translating text from Sanskrit to Tibetan. Milarepa replied, “If a jackal jumps where a tiger leaps, he will only break his neck!”
The inference here is that Milarepa new his limitations, & stayed within them.
 
In my early years of meditation, this was a guiding tale for me, where the mantra was basically “Know & stay within your limitations”. At a certain point in my life, when I was leaving my career as a monk, founding my own business, and generally facing a lot of uncertainty, the motto of the tale changed quite radically it went from “know your limitations” to:
 
“Sometimes you have to realize that you are the tiger, & leap!”
 
Since then, I often recall this story and, in the face of my challenges, make like a tiger!!
 
So then, that is my story. Not infrequently I meet clients who are facing big inner & outer challenges, uncertainties, intimidations etc, and I will tell them this story. Now, you might think, ha! Ok so now he is going to help them realize that they are a tiger & leap into a new, bigger life! Well, it’s a bit more nuanced than that. Often what I try and do is this:
 
“I will help them to make friends with their big, brave tiger AND their wise jackal, and get them to work together as a team”
 
In the original story, Milarepa compares himself to a jackal, which is an honest assessment of his limitations, and works wisely within them. In many (most?) other ways he was an absolute tiger, enduring any hardships, obstacles, & trials to achieve his goals. He was relentless, ambitions & single-hearted. However, when it came to this lifestyle choice, he listened wisely to the voice of his limitations, and acted accordingly.
When I have clients who come to me feeling overwhelmed, burned out or intimidated, I consider it vital for them to be able to accept and work with their overwhelmed/fearful (etc) ‘inner jackal’, working within those limitations wisely. We can then consider their ‘inner tiger,’ working to find her/him and build their strength. We also introduce them to each other, getting them to communicate around issues and help each other. Building the team of the inner jackal and tiger is fun & creative. It also empowers them to be creative in their choices on a case by case basis. In any given situation they can ask themselves the question:
 
“Do I want to leap like a tiger here, or listen to the voice of my wise inner jackal, being humbler & more strategic?”
 
This question, and having access to the energies of both jackal and tiger offers my clients a radical new range of creative options that they can deploy in order to steer themselves stably and consistently in the right direction without either:

  • Not leaping to their full potential or
  • Over-stretching and doing themselves an injury

In this way they become solar and creative in a way that contains both wisdom and courage, and the understanding of how to combine them both into a functional team!
 
A final point about mindfulness & meditation
 
One of my USP’s as an executive coach is being an expert in meditation & mindfulness, with over thirty years practice & teaching. This shows up in my coaching is as tailored mindfulness exercises that I do with a client based around the content of the session. I record this & share it with them to practise between now & the next time we meet. These exercises create a space where ‘the rubber meets the road’ so to speak. What I mean by that is the ideas covered in the session can be re-visited experientially in the exercise, thus substantially deepening the level on which the ideas can be integrated by the client. Of course mindfulness exercises are optional in the sessions, but often they do play a significant part.
 
Related articles by Toby:
Are you solar or lunar?
Leaping like a tiger
Mindful of your inner artist – Becoming sola not lunar
The role of courage in meditation
© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope spiritual intelligence

Playful detached-compassion

“Life experience, combined with playfulness and observational presence can make the power of our compassion grow exponentially”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article explores resolving the apparent contradiction between detachment & compassion i a playful way! If you enjoy the article, we will be looking at the topic in this week’s meditation session. 

Reminder of this Saturday’s  Making Pearls from Sand: Free online session on mindfully working with your shadow-self, 1700-1800 Singapore time.

In the spirit of compassionate play,

Toby

 


This week’s meditation session Tues 12th/Weds 13th November:  ‘Detached compassion – in the world but not of it’.

This class looks at how to use mindfulness & meditation to:

  • Develop sustainable, high-quality compassion
  • Combine it with healthy detachment
  • Use this combination as an energising & healing force within ourself, our life & the world

 
7.30-8.30pm SG time, live in-person and online

 
Article of the week: Playful detached-compassion
 
Detachment and compassion are qualities that often we consider being separate because they appear to exclude each other.  It seems when you are detached you are disconnected from others, and so cannot feel compassion for them. Likewise, if we were being compassionate we cannot be detached because that means disconnecting from our feeling nature, which is where our compassion is located.
 
However, viewed from the perspective of mindful awareness, it is perfectly possible to bring deep compassion together with a sense of detached, witnessing observation. This is because:
 
We can practice observational detachment from any situation, viewing things from the “big picture” perspective, while at the same time cultivating closeness and intimacy with who or what we observe
 
Good quality mindful awareness is like the sun. It combines the impersonal light of awareness with a nurturing, life-giving warmth. From the perspective of an integrated mindful awareness, we can cultivate an experience of life as impersonally-personal, as deeply involved and at the same time not involved, as compassionate at the same time as being even minded.
 
If you practice bringing observational detachment and compassion together simultaneously in life situations, gradually improving your ability, then you will consistently increase your experience of detached-compassion.
 
Divine Playfulness
 
One of the fundamental qualities of Spirit when we contact it playfulness and a corresponding sense of humour. From its perspective the whole process of creating and evolving a universe is done as a type of game, a way of creatively exploring itself and its potential.
Consequently, if you want to increase the level of spirit in your daily life then entering your daily tasks in the spirit playfulness is a great practice to have.
It is easy to get a little too serious about things and allow our life to become unnecessarily stressful and unhappy. Relating to the challenges in your day as playful games and puzzles set you by the universe to help you grow is a technique that both relieves stress and enhances the deeply felt spiritual nature of your human experience.
 
A five-minute meditation to integrate playfulness and detached compassion into daily life
 
Step 1: Mentally select a particular life situation/challenge that you wish to work on in the meditation
 
Step 2: Recollect your understanding of detached compassion. Open your heart to the feelings that you are experiencing and the other people that are involved at the same time as mentally taking a step back and seeing what is happening from a more impersonal, big picture perspective. Experiment, trying to feel both empathic compassion and witnessing observance. At first do them one after the other, and then simultaneously. Breathe with this combined experience for a while.
 
Step 3: Introduce playful humour to your perspective of the challenge. Think of the challenge as a game that you as a spiritual being are playing to stretch and improve your capability as a human being. Stay with this perspective and the experiences it gives rise to for a time.
If you do this brief exercise a few times you will find that compassionate detachment and playfulness will become an accessible experience for you in your daily life. Life experience, combined with playfulness and observational presence can make the power of our compassion grow exponentially.
 
Related articles: Compassion & care through awareness
Compassionate presence, awakened action
© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

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Inner vision Integral Awareness Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Shadow meditation

The essence of shadow integration

Dear Toby,

The article below looks at the essence of shadow integration practice. I’m writing it as I prepare for three shadow events, firstly on Saturday 16th, 1700-1800 Singapore time: Making Pearls from Sand: Free online session on mindfully working with your shadow-self.

Following on from this are the Shadow work & Language of the shadow workshops  in the following weeks. 

You are invited to participate in your own journey of the shadow! 

Toby

Id to ego, It to I; The essence of shadow integration
 
As you may be aware, it was Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung who first coined the term ‘shadow’ as an aspect of their theories of the conscious and unconscious minds. They indicated the split that can occur between the two when parts of our personality/psychological self are repressed and banished to the unconscious mind, with the resulting phenomenon of the shadow self being a part of the result.
When Freud was asked about the essence of his method, he is famous for saying “Where the Id was the Ego shall be”. Essentially his meaning appears in translation as being our unconscious passions and desires (the Id) shall be consciously integrated into our ego-self, thus affecting a healing of the personality, and a move toward wholeness.
 
The original statement from Freud in German is “Wo Es war soll Ich werden”. In order to make it sound a bit more ‘academic’ James Strachey, Freud’s English translator translated ‘Es’ into ‘Id’, and ‘Ich’ into ‘ego’. However, as I understand, the two terms have a more common, colloquial meaning:

  • ‘Es’ is the German personal pronoun es is the English equivalent of ‘it’
  • ‘Ich’ is the German pronoun meaning ‘I’
     

So then, if you re-translate Freud’s statement you get:

“Where the it was the I shall be”

This then throws a clarifying light upon the process of shadow integration that goes something like this; Our shadow is all the primal and instinctual passions (‘bad’ and ‘good’) within us that we have pushed out of our conscious mind into our unconscious. Here they have become something that is not ‘me’ but an ‘it’, something not me, alien and threatening to myself. Shadow integration involves noticing the clues regarding what lies in my repressed unconscious, for example:

  • Repeating dreams about being chased by a monster
  • Being unusually emotionally triggered by particular types of people (Eg: aggressive, powerful or egotistic people)
  • Suffering baffling anxiety in the face of certain life circumstances

Having picked up on these clues we then work on owning and re-integrating the repressed material, making it into part of ‘me’. By doing so what was previously an ‘it’ in my unconscious becomes part of my ‘I’. This is what Freud meant when he said “Where the it was the I shall be”, and that is really the essence of shadow work.
 
De-fragmenting the self
If you can imagine how fragmented our self-sense is when lots of parts of it have become ‘its’ within our shadow unconscious, then you can also start to see how empowering and positive shadow work is. As we collect the fragmented ‘its’ and gather them back into our I, our I starts to feel strong, resilient and whole in ways that we had forgotten was possible. Our vigour and appetite for life returns, in tandem with our peace of mind and a sense of profound, relative calm.
 
Read more of Toby’s articles in the Shadow section of his blog: https://tobyouvry.com/category/shadow-meditation/


© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com