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Integral Meditation training page: Using distractions, sculpting thoughts & soft body

Dear Integral Meditators,

Welcome to the Using distractions, sculpting thoughts & softening the body training page. In it you will learn how to do this integral meditation combination effectively, & you can then use the meditation recordings & readings below to practice. Scroll down below to

  • Watch the video
  • Listen to the studio quality guided meditations. There is a 20minute & an 8 minute version
  • Read the related article

Each of these practices are fundamental to good meditation technique. Once familiar with them, they will continue to help you in your other meditation practices almost continuously!

In the spirit of meditative presence,

Toby

Intro to the practices:

Guided meditations:

Listen to the Twenty minute using distractions, sculpting thoughts & soft body meditation

Listen to the eight minute using distractions, sculpting thoughts & soft body meditation

Related articleUsing distractions, sculpting thoughts, softening the body

The Integral Meditation Training pages are a free resource, but if you feel you have benefitted, & would like to donate to the Integral Meditation training pages & project, you can do so via PayPal or if in Singapore you can do so directly by PayNow on +6596750279. Thanks!

​All content © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this page content, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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Mindful flow around the things that are most important to you

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article looks at mindfulness when brought to bear upon the most important activities in your life. If you enjoy it, we will be exploring it in this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday Meditation sessions

Heads up for the upcoming Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation on 19th & 20th March!

In the spirit of mindfulness,
 
Toby 


Mindful flow around the things that are most important
 
How mindfulness makes things better
Fundamentally, mindfulness is about being present to your life in a relaxed, focused manner. By being present in such a way, you create a ‘flow state’ where you can:

  • Enjoy the present activity and derive fulfilment from it
  • To more effective and wiser regarding your experience of any challenges being presented

By being relaxed, focused and present (as opposed to tense, anxious and reactionary), things essentially tend to get better and easier in a natural, unforced manner.
 
What to focus on in mindfulness?
The premise here is that, if you practice mindfulness around the most important things in your life, then they will get better. What are the most important things? Well, it depends upon the person, but since most of our time is spent in relationships and in work, then these two are very important to build your mindful flow capacity around. Here are a few pointers for how to do this:
 
Mindfulness around relationships
Sitting quietly, build a little bit of basic mindful flow around the breathing, by focusing your attention on the inbreath, then relaxing your body-mind on the outbreath. Now, bring your attention to an important relationship, perhaps your romantic partner, a family member or colleague. Picturing them in your mind’s eye, practice being mindful to what comes up as you are present to them:

  • Notice the internal conversation that starts up within you
  • The judgments
  • The emotions and mood that settle in
  • Times when you have states of blank, unknowing, ambiguity or confusion
  • Particular memories of subjects that come up
  • What does the content look like from your ‘I’ space? 
  • What does the relationship look like from their ‘I’ space?
  • What does the relationship look like from both of your ‘we’ space?

As you do this, you are not trying to fix or solve any of it, rather simply be present to all the material in a focused, relaxed manner. That is the only ‘goal’.
By being present in this way, as an observer, naturally your awareness of the relationship will increase. When you next meet the person, as you interact, practice bringing some of that mindful presence into your contact with them, be relaxed and lightly present as far as possible.
 
Mindfulness around work
Establish your basic mindful flow, then bring your attention to an important area of your work, or just your sense of work more generally. Picture the circumstances in your mind’s eye, practice being mindful to what comes up as you are present to it:

  • Notice the internal conversation that starts up within you
  • The judgments or anxieties
  • The emotions and mood around the project
  • Memories that surface persistently
  • Times when you have states of blank, unknowing, ambiguity or confusion
  • What does your work look like from your ‘I’ space?
  • What does your work look like from other people’s perspectives?
  • If someone were looking on as an observer, or ‘fly on the wall,’ what would they see?

 
As with relationships, you are not trying to fix or solve any of it, rather simply be present to all the material in a focused, relaxed manner. That is the only ‘goal’.
By being present in this way, as an observer, naturally your awareness of the relationship will increase. When you are next at work, practice brining some of that mindful presence into your tasks and interactions. Practice light, mindful attention to what you are doing.
 
If you practice these two exercises consistently, even for only a few minutes a day, you will notice your experience of relationships and of your work change in the manner that I outlined in the first two paragraphs. Sound too good to be true? Why not try it for a week and find out?!

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com
 


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – Effortless effort – The art of doing by non-doing, a ten-week meditation course

Tues & Weds 19,20th March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Saturday March 23rd, 9-11.30am – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat


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Meditation wings – Five foundational meditation polarities

“Meditation polarities are like the wings of a bird. Just like a bird needs two wings, not one to fly, to make significant progress in meditation we need these functional pairs”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

Meditation polarities are a key to good meditation technique, get them right and a lot of good things follow. If you enjoy the article, then you might consider my January course on Effortless effort, which integrates these principles.

This week’s Tues & Wednesday class are on the subject of ‘Mindfully healing sadness, guilt & anger’, all welcome, live or online. 

In the spirit of wings, 
 
Toby


Meditation wings – Five foundational meditation polarities
 
Here are five pairs of qualities that you build over time in meditation. Put some working experience of all of them together and you are on your way to meditation mastery. Each pair is like the wings of a bird. Just like a bird needs two wings, not one to fly, to make significant progress in meditation we need these functional pairs.
 
1. Not lost in thought, not asleep
 
This first one gives you your basic state of meditative presence, which then acts as the basis of all other levels and types of meditation. As a beginner you try and anchor your attention to an object in the present moment, and sustain awareness of it, without getting lost in thought, and without falling asleep. It is this the state of ‘presence’ which you then place all your other meditations.
 
2. Balancing relaxation & focus
 
On the level of the physical body and the everyday mind, we build the power of our mindful concentration by combining a degree of focus with a degree of relaxation. If relaxation to the point of sleep is a zero, and total effortful focus is a ten, we are trying to sustain somewhere in between a 4-6 range. This creates a ‘mindful flow state’ that we can use daily and build upon in meditation to go deeper in our formal practice.
 
3. Warmth & space
 
Once we can stabilize a degree of mindful flow, we then start to notice that our consciousness itself has two basic qualities; a natural warmth, and a sense of space. This ‘warmth’ is the basis of our natural love and compassion, which we can focus upon ourself or others, it is a bit like the sun. The ‘space’ element is like the sky, open, spacious, naturally calm. Meditating on your inner warmth and space feels both healing and gently energizing.
 
4. Compassion & wisdom
 
The natural warmth of our consciousness them becomes the basis of our love and compassion. We can meditate to expand our compassion from self-compassion, to compassion for others we know, to compassion for all humans, to all creatures universally. Correspondingly the natural space of our consciousness acts as the basis for increasing levels of objective wisdom and insight. This has both an everyday dimension, and an ‘ultimate’ dimension, meaning it provides insights into the absolute nature of reality itself.
 
5. Bliss & emptiness
 
On the deeper levels of meditation, wisdom and compassion are experienced as a primal bliss and unitive, formless emptiness. Over time these merge together to form a singularity or non-dual state. In tantric practice for example this state is cultivated explicitly to accelerate the profundity and power of our meditation to erode our egoic conditioning and accelerate our identification with our own naturally awakened nature.  
 
So, the list above is kind of hierarchical, from basic beginners to more advanced, and the advanced levels depend upon the basic levels for their mature growth. The basic levels are integrated into the upper levels, but they also become a part of our everyday enjoyment. For example, the mindful flow of level two is a basic tool for me to use while writing this article, and the warmth and space of level three are everyday ways that I keep myself company in a balanced manner.
 


In case you missed last week’s article: Evolutionary or devolutionary mindfulness?


Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2023. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com 


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Shamanic meditation – Psychopomping & other non-ordinary adventures

“Shamanic meditation, often described as ‘Shamanic journeying’ occurs mainly in the dream state, which is to say the psychic and subtle levels of mind. You might think of shamanic meditation as a type of ‘conscious dreaming’ done whilst meditating”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article focuses upon Shamanic meditation. The first section is a ‘learning piece’, with the second part being a personal reflection of my experience in the field. If you are interested in this form of meditation then do consider coming along on the weekend of the 25th/26th for the Shamanic meditation workshop retreat

Finally, a reminder of the seasonal class this coming Tuesday & Wednesday, Deepavali -connecting to your inner light.

In the spirit of journeying,
 
Toby


Shamanic meditation – Psychopomping & other non-ordinary adventures
 
Three levels of reality, three levels of meditation
 
The great wisdom traditions often divide reality into three basic domains, or levels of consciousness:
The waking state, characterised by the senses and our gross (as in dense) physical environment.
The dream state, characterised by images thoughts and subtle worlds on the level of mind. The lower level of the dream state might be described as the ‘psychic’ realm, the higher and more refined level as the ‘subtle’ realm. The dream world and the world of mind of course also occur in the waking state, but the waking state is characterised by the occurrence of sensory awareness, and the dreamworld is characterised by the temporary cessation of sensory awareness, in the dream-world we inhabit exclusively the worlds of mind.
The dreamless, deep sleep state, characterised by the cessation of both mental and physical forms, and the appearance of a very subtle, almost infinite formless state of consciousness.
Each of these three levels of reality is has its own world and worlds.
 
Shamanic meditation: Working in the ‘dream-world’
Shamanic meditation, often described as ‘Shamanic journeying’ occurs mainly in the dream state, which is to say the psychic and subtle levels of mind. You might think of shamanic meditation as a type of ‘conscious dreaming’ done whilst meditating.
Initially we can practice shamanic meditation to acclimatise to the domain of reality reality that it focuses on. However, part of the point of practising is that we then start to be able to access these states of ‘non-ordinary/dreaming’ reality consciously and at will, even when not in formal meditation. This basically means that we integrate shamanic practice informally into our daily waking life.
 
Foundational elements of shamanic journeying, its purpose and function
Traditionally, Shamanic meditation has five main elements
1. The Underworld Journey – Connecting with Ancestral and Underworld guides
2. The Overworld Journey – Connecting with Spiritual and Overworld guides
3. Soul Retrieval – Recovery from soul loss
4. Meeting and connecting with one’s guardian spirit, or performing guardian spirit retrieval.
5. Non-benevolent spirit extraction or removal
6. To act as a Psychopomp, or guide for the dead and/or lost souls.
 
To practice Shamanic meditation would then mean that each of the above capabilities gradually becomes a part of what you ‘do’ in everyday reality, informally, in the same way that you would go to work, do the shopping, put the kids to bed and so forth…
 
Everyday Psycho-pomping – The Spanish soldier
This story is a simple example of what I mean. As mentioned above, one of the activities of a Shaman traditionally is acting as a Psychopomp, or guide for the dead and/or lost souls. I had some awareness of this before I started doing shamanic meditation, as I had already been a meditator for a while. But once I started Shamanic meditation as a discipline I noticed that increasingly often I would be contacted by deceased or lost souls who needed a bit of a hand transitioning to the next world, they were ‘stuck’ so to speak. Generally, before bed they will let me know that they are around and seeking assistance, and then when I go to bed, I will then expect them to come to me sometime in the night, and we can do what needs to be done. This happens quite regularly, and it is just a part of my daily life activity.
One time when on holiday a village in the mountains of Asturias, Spain, my family and I walked down from our Air B&B to a quiet restaurant with some older villagers inside. We sat outside on a bench that clearly was not used very much, and where there was an old cat to keep us company. After a pleasant meal we walked back to our accommodation, and went to bed fairly soon after.
I couldn’t sleep in the bed I was in with my partner, so I went into a spare bedroom at the top of the stairs. Lying down there I then went into a light reverie, where I saw what looked like an old soldier walking up the street to our house. Understanding what was about to follow, I prepared myself to meet him, and he duly came in the house and walked up the stairs. It was a little comedic, because I didn’t speak Spanish, and he didn’t speak English! But suffice to say he had been killed in the Spanish civil war, and had been in the village since (his favorite bench being the one we had sat on for dinner), and having seen me he saw (and felt ready) for the opportunity to move on. I then helped guide him ‘into the light’ so to speak, and then went to sleep.
That is an example of one of many, it was interesting because it was one that my partner and daughter also ‘felt’ something around, and so for me it was a little bit of a shared experience that we could talk about, rather than one I just do and keep to myself.
 
Related articleMindfulness, Meditation & Non-Ordinary Reality
 
Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2023. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com 


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Meditating on the Bright Child within you

“The bright child is that part of us that is ever young, ever new, ever creative, ever both innocent and wise, whose light helps us begin again each time we burn out.”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article explores the space between the psychological and the spiritual dimensions or our psyche, particularly with reference to our child-self. If you enjoy it, this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class will integrate this subject into the session, and the Masterclass on 9th December is focused on Working with your bright shadow
The Integral Meditation Two Day Retreat at the end of this month is implicitly a deep dive into the state of the ‘Spiritual Child’ mentioned in the article.
 
In the spirit of the Bright Child,
 
Toby


Meditating on the Bright Child within you
 
Normally when we think of inner child work, we think of the psychological level of things; ‘healing’ our wounded inner child, recovering the playfulness we had as a child but forgot, and so on. Psychological practices like this refer to the child-in-time that we were, meaning:
‘The historical child, that is the child within us whose character has been shaped and informed by our own literal historical upbringing; experience with parents, peers, and other significant others, what happened to us in school, how we were treated and learned to gain approval and so on. The child within us now that is a product of our personal historical experience, and our response to that.’ (see my previous article on ‘Meditating with the child self’)
The below here offers a complementary practise, where the focus is on connecting to our Spiritual, and Archetypal/Soul level or ‘Bright child’.
 
Your ‘Spiritual Child’
You might call your Spiritual Child the ‘Eternal’ or ‘Ever-New’ Self. It is our essential nature, outside of the world of form and time. You can find it in meditation in the following way:
Observing your field of consciousness, notice three domains:

  • Firstly, your body and senses in time and space, gradually getting older.
  • Secondly, your mind and thoughts, also thinking and feeling according to your unfolding story in time and space, as you (as a body-mind) get older.
  • Thirdly, there is consciousness itself, and the ‘simple feeling of being’ that it gives rise to. This experience is formless, timeless and ever-new, arising pristine and bright in each moment.

This third domain of consciousness itself, and the simple feeling of being, is what we are referring to as our ever-young, ‘Spiritual Child’. To meditate on the simple feeling of being is to connect, and to be fed and renewed by our inner Spiritual Child. This is a meditation we can do and continue to deepen over a lifetime.
 
Your Archetypal, or ‘Bright Child’
Having connected to your Spiritual Child as above, you can then set an intention to meet your ‘Soul-level’ child, or bright child. You can do this through visualization. If you imagine yourself in a landscape, and then imagine your ‘Bright child’ comes to meet you. S/he would look very much like yourself as a young child, but when you see her, you see that she is bright, beautiful, happy, untouched by your past traumas as an historical child. As I mention in my child-self article, the bright child is “That part of us that is ever young, ever new, ever creative, ever both innocent and wise, whose light helps us begin again each time we burn out.”
When you spend time with her you can:

  • Observe the states of mind, perspectives & somatic sensations that arise when you are in contact with her
  • Talk to her and troubleshoot challenges you have in your life, as well as derive inspiration
  • Practice being her, now, and embodying her energy

 
These practices are great to do as meditations by themselves, but they are also valuable to do in combination with the often-difficult work of healing our historical inner-child of their past wounds and burdens from this life. Contacting the wounded child in the context of knowing the child within you that is already in perfect health makes it much easier to face the pain, and less arduous.
 
Related articles:  Meditating with the child self
Your shadow child
Progressively recovering your joie de vivre (Meditating with your inner child)

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2023. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  


In case you missed it: The body is in you – How to go into deep meditation quickly
 
The deepest level of meditation is what is known as Non-Dual meditation. It is the state of meditation where, essentially the subject-object divide within consciousness collapses into ‘One Taste’ or the simple, essential unity of being.
One way to achieve this is what you might call ‘progressive witnessing’, where you realize that you are not any of the objects in your consciousness, rather you are the witness of them. You do this until you realize the Essential I, the I-I, the pure consciousness that is the witness. It would go something like this…read full article


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The fish swimming in the pond: Meditation & creative contemplation

“Once we can focus our mind in meditation, we can then skilfully think and move our attention creatively in that space without disturbing our concentration. This in turn leads to unusual and supra-normal levels of insight and creativity”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article looks at how to work creatively in meditation. As an artist myself (originally), its a subject central to my experience of meditation, and one that makes it almost infinitely enjoyable and regenerative!
If you enjoy it then do consider joining us for this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday evening meditations, where we shall be integrating a creative dimension to our meditation practice. 

My monthly Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat on 25th February is now full, waiting list only. I have added an extra session on Sunday the 26th for those who may want to participate

In the spirit of our inner artist, 

Toby 


The fish swimming in the pond: Meditation & creative contemplation

Meditation & contemplation
Back when I began meditating in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, I was taught that meditation has two parts; contemplation and meditation. Initially you have to contemplate in order to ‘seek and find’ your object of meditation. Once you have found it you can them simply let your attention focus upon it and go deeper into it. For example:

  • Before doing breathing meditation you have to seek and find the sensation of your breathing
  • Before meditating on compassion, you have to assemble in your minds eye the objects of compassion (EG: other particular people) and find the feeling of compassion within yourself
  • Before you can hold a visualization in meditation, you first have to build the different components of the visualization in a contemplation

Active & creative meditation – Moving your mind in a meditative state
Over time I have also increasingly used meditation as a point of departure for creative contemplation. Thinking in a meditative state I have found creates a very different experience of how things are.
To give an example, if I am anxious and stressed, often the way in which I think about my life will often be anxious and stressed. If I move into a state of meditation on say my beginners mind or compassion, and re-consider my life from there, the compassionate state of mind will create a very different view and experience from my stressed and anxious state.
From this we can start to understand how our meditative states are creative; they paint a picture of our life that is different from our everyday mind.
As well as painting a different picture in the way described above, our meditative states can often ‘plug us in’ to ideas and inspirations from a deeper level of our own consciousness, and a deeper level of the collective group consciousness. We find ourself tapping into levels of inner reality where there is an abundance of, often spontaneous creative ideas.  

The fish in the pond: Skilful creative contemplation
Initially when we meditate it can feel difficult enough to just calm our mind to focus upon and hold an object of meditation. To move back into creative contemplation often results in us just becoming distracted again. But if we keep practising then we learn to contemplate creatively in meditation whilst at the same time not disturbing our inner stillness and focus.
Again speaking of my Tibetan Buddhist days, this was illustrated by the image of a small fish swimming beneath the surface of a pond without disturbing the surface. Similarly, once we can focus our mind in meditation, we can then skilfully think and move our attention creatively in that space without disturbing our concentration. This in turn leads to unusual and supra-normal levels of insight and creativity.
Now, this may sound like a long way from where you are currently, but one way to get better at this fast is simply to practice it regularly. A simple structure might look like this. In a fifteen-minute meditation:

  • Spend five minutes calming your mind and finding your meditation object, for example the breathing or compassion
  • The next five minutes focus on deepening your attention on your chosen object
  • For the final five minutes bring to mind a domain of your life that you want to think creatively about. Staying relaxed and present within your meditative state, contemplate your chosen domain and see what ideas, perspectives and insights come to light

You might say this is a way of using meditation to capitalize on our natural creativity, and allowing it to flourish in the deeper, more free space of our focused awareness.

Related articlesStill water that moves – Meditation for greater creativity
Mindfulness for enhancing productivity & creativity in your work
On boredom, creativity & ‘mindful fishing’

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com



All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday & Sunday February 26/27th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Tues 21st & Weds 22nd March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Sat & Sunday 1st, 2nd April – Two day integral meditation retreat
 


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Making it easier to focus deeply

“Our unresolved feelings and emotions in our body are like a spiky outer layer that repels our awareness, and prevents our mind form using the most obvious ‘landing place’ for attention to stabilize in the present. In this way we become alienated from our body and ‘locked out’ of stability in the present”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Why is it really so difficult for us to stabilize our focus? There are a number of reasons, but the article below outlines one and a method that we can use to make focusing much easier, quite quickly, with all the benefits that follow from it!

If you enjoy the article, then this weeks meditation classes on Tuesday & Wednesday will be focusing on it. You are welcome to join us, either live or online.

In the spirit of  warmth, 

Toby 


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Special offer until 21st January: 15% off all 3 or 6 month programs!

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details


Article: Making it easier to focus deeply

Sensory meditation, the gateway to stability
In general, the stable-est and easiest way to build basic mindful focus is to use your body and senses. Whenever your attention rests on your senses, by default your mind becomes less busy. This is because your body, breathing and senses are non-conceptual objects. They are always in the present moment and so, to the degree that we can get our attention on them we can become more naturally focused in the present.

The challenge with the body and senses as an object of meditation
So, in theory, simply focusing on your body and breathing should make it easy to become more present-focused quite rapidly. However, one reason that we find it quite (even very) difficult to focus on our body and breathing is because our body is where we store all our feelings and emotions on an energy level. If we have a lot of stress, conflicting emotion and tension in our body, then to become more present to our body means to become aware of all of these things. So, often unconsciously people avoid awareness of their body in order to avoid awareness of uncomfortable feelings. Our unresolved feelings and emotions in our body are like a spiky outer layer that repels our awareness, and prevents our mind form using the most obvious ‘landing place’ for attention to stabilize in the present. In this way we become alienated from our body and ‘locked out’ of stability in the present.

Committing to acceptance, warmth, friendliness
When we come to mindful awareness of the body then, we need to be ready to work with the feelings that we find in the body. The simplest way to do this is simply to commit to extending warmth and support to whatever feelings that we find in the body, even if they are uncomfortable. This way, rather than running away into our thoughts, we can relax into the body, even if some of the things that we find there are not always pleasant.

At home in the body, easy to focus
By extending warmth to the body and feelings in the body we can make it like a home; a place that we came back to and find rest and relief from the challenges of our daily life. Not only this, but we find that our mind becomes clearer and easier to focus, because it has a point of stability in the present. Overall, we start to feel stronger and clearer in the face of life and the things that it throws at us.  

Practical: Witnessing the body, like the sun
In meditation turn your attention specifically to the body in, let your attention rest upon and within your body like the sun shining its light. In this context the sun has two qualities:

  • It shines its light impartially and unconditionally
  • The light is warm

You can imagine this as if you were sitting outside with the sun shining down from outside you in the sky. Or, if you like you can imagine it sitting in your chest, shining light from within.
As you encounter your body with your sun like awareness, feel it melting away stress and uncomfortable feelings with its warmth. As you are doing this, some of the feelings will take a while, so don’t be in a hurry. Try and make your body a place that, even there are difficult feelings within it, you can come home to and be present in, finding stability, focus and warmth there.

Related readingWitnessing like the sun
Your body of presence – Sitting sumo style

 © Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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The experiential self: Meditation, vividness & charisma

“Genuine charisma is a natural extension of being grounded in experience. It’s a side effect of you really being here, it doesn’t take a huge effort. A quality closely related to it is what I call your natural dignity. It’s what happens when you relax into your fundamental nature and don’t overthink yourself”

 

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores what I often call the ‘experiential self’ connecting to which is one of the main goals of meditation. If you enjoy the article then  do consider joining us live or online for the this weeks  The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life, on Tuesday or Wednesday. The theme of the session will be on the experiential-self and mindful charisma.

And reminder of this Saturday mornings Zen deep-dive mini-retreat where, amongst other things we shall be meditating on Signlessness – Meeting your reality as it is.

In the spirit of vividness of experience,

 

Toby

 


 

The experiential self: Meditation, vividness & charisma

Meditation

How do you get into a state of meditation? From one point of view, very simple. Basic meditative presence is the space that lies between being lost in thought and asleep, or unconscious. If you can ground your attention in the present moment, for example by focusing on the breathing and body, then there you are. In the present, not lost in thought, not asleep; meditation!

The experiential self & conceptual self

One of the main focuses for me with meditation is to bring us back to the experiential self. When we are lost in thought, our primary experience of self is conceptual, the self is living in the world of concepts. In meditation we come back to our experience of reality in the moment; we experience ourself viscerally and vividly, directly, non-conceptually – We are really alive to our self and life now.

For many of us we are often and mainly lost in our conceptual self, and as a result we experience life indirectly, secondarily through thought. Meditation is designed to fix this imbalance so that we are primarily experiencing and secondarily thinking.

If you think about your experiential self as being like the hero/ine of your life, and the conceptual self as being like the heroes’ side-kick, for example Luke Skywalker and his little robot R2D2. We are trying to make sure that in our own life we don’t confuse our side-kick for our inner hero/ine!

Journeying into doing & being vividly

From our basic experience of the experiential-self we can go in two directions:

  • Deeper into states of being and presence
  • Actively into states of doing

From this we can see that meditation when understood correctly involves being-states and doing-states. We can sit still and be, or we can go into active or working meditation.

Whether you are doing or being, doing so with your experiential self-ensures that you do both vividly, viscerally in a way that is committed to really being alive

Charisma – Owning your space

Here’s the proposition: If you really get good at living in your experiential self, then you will discover your own personal charisma. We all have different personalities, so there are many ways of being charismatic. When you are really connected to the reality of yourself in the moment (not lost in a conceptual image of it) then you arrive in the moment in full colour, with confidence, with presence, with personality. Charisma is a natural extension of being grounded in experience. It’s a side effect of you really being here, it doesn’t take a huge effort. A quality closely related to it is what I call your natural dignity. It’s what happens when you relax into your fundamental nature and don’t overthink yourself

The Work (two types)

So then, from the experiential-self come two types of work:

  • The work of being and embodying in the moment – This is not the work of achieving something in the future, it is qualitative work, the work of making this moment as high-quality as possible
  • The work of doing – From the embodying self in the moment we can then launch ourself into meaningful projects where, with the assistance of the conceptual self, we are setting goals and working toward a future result. The main thing with this is that your ‘doing work’ is that you have identified the ‘deepest inclinations of your heart’ and follow that.

With the experiential self, you’re daily doing and being start to complement and harmonize with each other; busyness and peace, presence and doing, charisma and invisibility all weave themselves together into a vivid and fulfilling tapestry describing the journey of your life.

There is a lot more to this of course, but finishing with a short story from Anthony De Mello:

CHARISM(A)

The disciple was a Jew. “What good work shall I do to be acceptable to God?”

“How should I know?” said the Master. “Your Bible says that Abraham practised

hospitality and God was with him. Elias loved to pray and God was with him. David

ruled a kingdom and God was with him too.”

“Is there some way I can find my own allotted work?”

“Yes. Search for the deepest inclination of your heart and follow it.”

Related article: Your body of presence (Sitting sumo-style)

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 


Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention…read full details


Saturday December 10th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Session overview: These 2.5hour Zen ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one-hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques and gentle stretching/mobility exercises Toby will guide you into deep meditative flow states that create the experience of a calm, unified, harmonized, resilient body, mind & heart.. read full details


Saturday December 17th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation.

In this mini-retreat and clinic: Toby will lead a series of practices over two hours.

  • The first hour will focus on yang/dynamic movement and breathing forms for creating energy and removing blockages.
  • The second hour focuses more upon gentler, yin forms designed to increase harmony in the body-mind, stimulating physical recovery and inner peace

 



Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tues /Weds 23/24th November – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for bringing integration, depth & vividness to your life

Saturday December 10th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Saturday December 17th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Wednesday Dec 21st, 7.30-8.30pm – Free Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)


 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Health meditation: Mindfully building strong bones

The bones also sit in the structural center of many parts of our body. By focusing on the bones, you are really allowing your awareness to penetrate into the core of your physical being, and by doing so the energy of your life-force will follow

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article is a method to strengthen your bones, and why bone health is important. If you enjoy it this Saturday 24th we have the Monthly Qi gong & Taoist Breathwork clinic & retreat, where we will be working with the bones, the heart and the kidney Qi in particular.

The subject of  this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class, is the Autumn Equinox balancing & renewing meditation a special meditation for this time of year.

In the spirit of being strong boned,

Toby


Health meditation: Mindfully building strong bones

In Qi gong philosophy it is asserted that the real or deep strength of our body comes not from the size of our muscles, but from the health and strength of our bones, particularly in the energy, or qi that we build and store in our bone marrow. The meditation that I describe below is one that can be done for short periods, or longer, and that is designed to direct regenerative energy to our bones and bone marrow. It might be said to belong to the set of Qi gong meditations that are called ‘smiling to the internal organs’, except this meditation is focused on the bones rather than an organ group.
The bones also sit in the structural center of many parts of our body, so by focusing on the bones, you are really allowing your awareness to penetrate into the core of your physical being, and by doing so the energy of your life-force will follow.

Position 1 – Relaxation and posture: Sit or stand in an upright position, crown high, chest open, shoulders relaxed down and back off the neck. Take a few slightly deeper breaths, breathing in noticing any tension in the upper part of the body, breathing out inviting that tension to flow down into your lower belly area. Over a few breaths feel your center of gravity settling at the belly level of the torso, and your upper body becoming pleasantly relaxed.

Position 2 – Smiling & breathing from the belly: With a gentle, warm half smile on your face, breathe in and out of the belly. Imagine a warm smiling energy building gently in the belly, and then positively radiating out from the belly into the rest of the body.

Position 3 – Being present to the bones: With this warm qi or energy now in your body, focus on the bones. Scan thru your body building awareness of the basic bone structures, feeling their solidity and stability. Start to extend your warm smiling energy to them as you breathe.

Position 4 – Energizing the bones, building marrow strength: Either focusing on your bone structure as a whole, or on a particular set of bones (Eg: Thighs and knees), imagine them to be strong and healthy, with the marrow in the center of them glowing with health and vitality. If you like, as you breathe in, see qi and energy in the form of light flowing into the bone marrow, as you breathe out feel them warm, strong and glowing.
If you like you can add in a mental affirmation such as ‘My bones are strong, healthy and full of life-force’. For some people this type of affirmation really enhances the practice, for others not, so just try it and see what works for you.

Example: Injury recovery
The above meditation is one that I integrate regularly into my own Qi gong meditation practice and do in my Qi gong classes, but it is also one I have been using specifically for a knee sprain and ankle twist that I sustained in a squash game. Essentially I have been applying the above technique to my knees and ankles for the last month or so for about 5mins each day, and then organically thru-out the day. In this case it is specifically the knee joints and ligaments/meniscus that I include as well as the bone structure:

  • I relax the knees and ankles
  • I visualize the knee and ankle joints filling with warm Qi/healing energy, glowing with light and health
  • I affirm in two ways: ‘My knees and ankles are strong and healthy’ and ‘My knees and ankles heal quickly and easily’.
  • I enjoy!

So, this type of mindfulness work doesn’t replace rest, mobility rehab and strengthening work, but in my experience, it plays a significant pat in the healing process. It also makes me feel me feel that I have a living and enjoyable relationship with my biological being and a direct role in the creation of my own health and wellbeing!

PS: Its can also be powerful to combine bone meditation with simple Qi gong standing postures

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Tues & Weds 20th/21st  September – Autumn equinox balancing & renewing meditation

The Autumn Equinox in the northern hemisphere marks the mid-point between the warmer, lighter seasons of the year and the cooler, darker ones. The forces of day and night, light and dark are of equal strength. As such it is a great time to emphasize balance and harmony, both in our life and meditation practice…read full details


Saturday September 24th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details

 


Sat & Sun 22nd/23rd October – Shamanic meditation workshop retreatLearn how to practice the fundamentals of the most ancient meditation tradition on the planet in a clear, practical and concise manner, and understand its relevance and value to you and the challenges that you face in your life.

The workshop will give an overview and introduce some simple but profound shamanic practices on day one, with a deeper dive into Shamanic meditation practices on day two…read full details



Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tues 16th /Weds 17th August – An Adventure in Consciousness – The What, Why & How of integral & engaged meditation practice

Tues & Weds 20th/21st  September – Autumn equinox balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday September 24th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Saturday October  8th, 9.30-12noon –  Zen deep-dive mini-retreat

Sat & Sun 22nd/23rd October – Shamanic meditation workshop retreat


 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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A Mind of Ease Concentration Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Uncategorized

The way to silence

The way to silence ….is to meditate. And what is the way to meditate? To be silent!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Silence is a skill that you could build basic competence at if you devoted 5mins a day for the next month to it. Are you up for the challenge? Read the article below to get started!

In the spirit of silence,

Toby

 

 


The way to silence

….is to meditate. And what is the way to meditate? To be silent!
This is a fun little paradox, and it is worth exploring a little more.

Silence is at a premium
These days our heads are very full of noise, and there is the incessant information coming at us from our environment, the internet and our phones. Because of this, and also because of our identification and addiction to thoughts and information, many people find it impossible to silence their mind to the extent that they don’t even want to try as the results are so discouraging. Because of this accessing silence well is a premium skill that has particular value for us.

How to meditate
To meditate in the simplest terms is to be present to your immediate experience, and be aware of that experience. This means to gather your attention away from ideas and concepts of past and future, and let your attention rest in the present. Then what you need to do is avoid falling asleep, or dozing off! So, meditation is the space between thinking/concepts and sleep/inertia; holding that space, and being alert and aware in that space. If you start practicing this you will discover that this space is also a silent one, or that there is silence present in that space.

Brain relaxation
It’s helpful for thought reduction to relax your brain. Our brain is our organ of thought, so if you relax, the number of thoughts that you have is correspondingly reduced. If you focus attention on your physical brain, breathe in be aware of any tension in it, breathe out release that tension, after a short while you will notice the difference.

Regenerative silence
So, if you sit in meditation like this, you’ll start to notice little patches of silence. Maybe they are only a few seconds long before you get distracted, but as long as you keep practicing, the patches of silence will grow. You will also notice that you don’t ‘create’ silence, its already there underneath the noise. When you relax and become present, the silence reveals itself right there, without you ‘doing’ anything. Whenever you enter into silence (or even just a little bit more silent than before), you will notice that it is relaxing, regenerative and helps you find a sense of basic sanity.

Creative silence
Silence is a space of no-thing, the point is there is nothing there. Moving deeper into silence, we discover that it also creates spaces that help us to imagine our life and our way of going and being in a new way. It is generative, from silence and being, our process of becoming starts to evolve.

Singular silence
Silence also creates singularity, focus. All our energy gathers into the silence, we become integrated, powerful. The side effect of this during the day is that it becomes easier to focus on tasks, there is less inner interference and we become more effective in life.

Silence amidst the noise
After a while you will notice that the silence is always there. You can ‘hear’ it even when your surrounded by noise and are thinking actively. It becomes something that you can dip into at will, which is a pleasure that also gives rise to confidence and, (in my experience) a sense of humour and playfulness.
I’ll leave you with a short story from Anthony De Mello’s ‘One minute wisdom’, Enjoy the silence!

‘RELIGION’
The Governor on his travels stepped in to pay homage to the Master.
“Affairs of State leave me no time for lengthy dissertations,” he said. “Could you put
the essence of religion into a paragraph or two for a busy man like me?”
“I shall put it into a single word for the benefit of Your Highness.”
“Incredible! What is that unusual word?”
“Silence.”
“And what is the way to Silence?”
“Meditation.”
“And what, may I ask, is meditation?”
“Silence.”

Related articleMeditating on the sound of silence

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Ongoing– The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilanceIn a sentence: Learn the art of ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom through integrative meditation
Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series is an ongoing series that looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention…. Read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday /Wednesday 14/15th June – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for irreverent clarity & authentic vigilance

Saturday August 27th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat


 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology