Category: Biographical

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A Mind of Ease Biographical Energy Meditation Insight Meditation Integral Meditation Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Primal Spirituality spiritual intelligence Zen Meditation

Taking the mountain with you

“The only Zen that you find on top of a mountain is the Zen that you bring with you” – Robert M Pirsig

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article looks at how to embody the energy of a mountain, its a fun idea with serious applications!

Lots of great events & courses coming up soon, scroll down below the article to have a look! 

In the spirit of the mountain, 

Toby
 


Taking the mountain with you
 
‘Taking the mountain with you’ is a Zen expression. It means that if you are a meditator, rather than needing to go to a mountain to ground, de-stress and recover your balance, you become like the energy of the mountain. By meditating consistently, as you walk around in the city or wherever you go, you take the energy of ‘mountainous-ness’ with you.
You can also take the image of the mountain as a metaphor for enlightenment, or awakening. When we are stabilized in the art of awakening, wherever we go we take that awakening with us, because we embody that energy.
 
“The only Zen that you find on top of a mountain is the Zen that you bring with you” – Robert M Pirsig.
 
When I was a monk, there were always members of the Buddhist group that I was in who were obsessed with the idea of going on retreat. They felt that, once they had done a six-month or one year retreat, somehow that would have attained a special state that would once-and-for-all mean that they never had to be bothered by ordinary states of mind and body again. They were looking for a one knock-out punch! Needless to say I also listened to several stories from these people regarding returning to ordinary life after their long retreat and feeling like they were back to square one after a disappointingly short time!
 
Bring the mountain you’ve got
 
One middle-way that I have found useful is to simply commit each day to bringing the ‘mountain that you have got’ with you into your life each day. What this means is that you bring to front and centre that part of you that is calm, balanced and stable like a mountain each day. Simply be that to the greatest degree that you are able.
 
A mountain poem
 
The birds have vanished down the sky.
Now the last cloud drains away.
We sit together, the mountain and me,
until only the mountain remains.
– Li Bai
 
Some meditation positions
 
Sit or stand like a mountain. At first imagine you are standing or sitting on a mountain. There is you and the mountain. Feel into the calmness, solidity, and presence of the mountain, gradually relax into this until as the poem says, “We sit together, the mountain and me, until only the mountain remains.” Go from being with the mountain to being the mountain. Work with this until there is no self-and-mountain, only ‘mountainous-ness’.
 
In daily life, try and return to this feeling of mountainous-ness often:

  • When you walk into a room or a meeting, bring it with you
  • Coming home from work, bring it on the train with you
  • Sit down to the family dinner with it
  • Experience your uncertainty with it
  • Through the highs and lows of your life, bring the mountain with you

 
Wherever you go, bring the mountain!
 
Related reading: The body is in you – How to go into deep meditation quickly
Four Zen Meditations
 

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops
 

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Tues & Weds, 7.30-8.30 pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to non-dual meditation practice

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6-15pm  – Freedom & Fullness deep-dive non-dual meditation sessions

Saturday 10th & Sunday 11th May – The Call of the Wild: Shamanic Meditations for connecting to animal guides in the inner world Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Starts Tuesday 6th, Wednesday 7th May, 7.30-8.30pm – Embodied Transformation – An integrative introduction to Tantric meditation

Starts Saturday, 10th May & then weekly, 5.30-6.15pm – Embodied Transformation – Saturday Tantric deep-dive meditation sessions

Tuesday 13th & Wednesday 14th May, 7.30-8.30pm – Wesak compassion & inner visioning meditation

Saturday 17th May, 3-4.30pm – One Heart Open Day: Heart Opening meditation with singing bowls

Tuesday 17th, Weds 18th June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

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Integral Meditation Asia

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Biographical Energy Meditation Greenworld Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Motivation and scope Presence and being present Primal Spirituality

Why meditate on & with animals?

“When meditating with animals, people often remark that their sense of time seems to take on a completely different quality”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article looks at the subject of meditating with animals, which humans have been doing since the practice of meditation began!

If you enjoy the article, then do have a look at the upcoming Masterclass, mini-retreat & class series that I will be doing on this subject, starting in May….

No classes this week, I’m off to lead a retreat in Australia for a week and commune with the land, nature, and of course the animals!

In the spirit of reconnection, 

Toby

 


Why meditate on & with animals?
 

I was asked the other day why I continue to guide workshops and classes on meditating with animals, given that to some of my client group it may seem a bit ‘strange’. Here are a few reasons to consider why meditating with animals is of great value, with a short practice at the end to try it out…

We’ve been doing it a long time

Prior to the transcendent spiritual traditions of Buddhism and Hinduism in the ‘east’ and Christianity/Islam in the ‘west’, human beings practiced an earth based spirituality where communion, learning and interaction with animals in the inner and outer worlds was a main part of our path to awakening and enlightenment. Our ability to do this type of meditation is long forgotten, but it is in our ‘dna’ so to speak, so most people find they can do it and have significant experiences without too much difficulty.

It re-connects us to parts of ourselves we have lost touch with

Meditating with animals connects us with our animal and instinctive nature in a benevolent way. It encourages us to use our imagination and capacity for inner visioning, and it encourages us to learn in a right brain creative, intuitive and visual way, very different from the way most of us use our minds and brains during the day.

Read full original article…

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 

Saturday 2nd & Sunday 3rd May – The Call of the Wild: Shamanic Meditations for connecting to animal guides in the inner world Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Learn Shamanic meditation practices for connecting to animal guides in the inner world, & the energies of nature.
These sessions focus on how to re-discover and deepen your inner and outer connection to the animal kingdom as well as stimulate your inner growth and personal wellbeing though meditating with animal guides and familiars…read full details


Starts Tues 6th, Wednesday 7th May, 7.30-8.30pm – Shamanic meditations for connecting to your animal guides & familiars

Overview: This is a series of 9 classes where we tap into the ancient tradition of Nature Mysticism in general & Shamanic meditation in particular in order to:

  • Learn traditional meditation methods adapted for a contemporary time & age
  • Connect with animal guides in the spirit world to receive their gifts and guidance of wisdom, healing & power

Read full details…

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Biographical creative imagery Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Primal Spirituality

Making yourself bigger

“Whatever us going on in the small temporal experience you are having right now, you are bigger than it, and it is workable”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article looks at the scale of who you think you are, and suggests some mindful ways to change the balance in a positive way!

If you enjoy the article, we will be meditating on this topic in both the  Tues/Weds class  and the Saturday deep-dive sessions. I invite you to join us either live, online or via the recording.

In the spirit of bigger (in this case) being better, 

Toby

 


Making yourself bigger
 
The feeling of oppressed
 
Whenever we feel, if you observe the experience of being stressed, scared or overwhelmed, it is often something like:

  • My body feels contracted in on itself, reduced. My sense of ‘I’ follows this
  • The challenge feels LARGE, much bigger than mee, like a tall building or monster towering over you
  • A sense of being weak or helpless in the face of this massively larger, more powerful force

 
This feeling then makes not just the presenting challenge more difficult, but everything that happens to you. Life feels like a struggle, a trap, something that you are a victim of.
 
Working with scale
 
About eight years ago I had an experience sitting in meditation where I felt my body was not just a small body sitting in my room, but large, as big, bigger than the apartment block. It was as if I was sitting in the landscape like a large building, looking down upon everything. Along with this literal feeling was an experience of feeling stronger, more powerful in relation to my life. It changed my sense of how I existed in relation to my challenges, in relation to what was possible. As well as power, there was a feeling of calm confidence.
I stayed with this feeling for several weeks, letting it become a part of my foundational way of going and being, I had literally become bigger!
 
Beyond psychology
 
The Yogachara school of Buddhism asserts that all our internal problems come from a mistaken sense of self. We perceive ourself as a small being, inside our skin, with a separate, foreign world outside of us. In reality, it asserts, our True Self, or Self-as-Consciousness is infinite and boundless. As this infinite and boundless self, we are not in the world, the world is in us! We are as huge infinite and boundless as consciousness itself!
By engaging in some simple Yogachara-ic ‘mindful shifts’ we can achieve some quite remarkable changes in our experience, I’m placing a few below.
 
Some mindful positions on Bigness
 
Sitting in meditation, walking, or otherwise in a state where you can settle into a mindful condition, use the following simple sentences as anchors for exploration:

  • I am not in my body, my body is in me (as a boundless, timeless consciousness)
  • I am not in the room, the room is in me
  • I am not walking/sitting in this landscape, the landscape is in me
  • I am not on the Earth, the planet is in me
  • I am not within the orbit of the moon, the Lunar sphere is within me
  • I am not within the Sun & solar system (Galaxy, Universe, whole of Creation), they are within me
  • I am not in life, life is within me, I am Life

Everything is happening within you, within your boundless Body, Mind and Heart. Whatever us going on in the small temporal experience you are having right now, you are bigger than it, and it is workable.
 
Related reading:
Non-Dual meditation & Organismic reality
Making yourself big
Connecting to Your Big Mind (Is the Mind in the Body or the Body in the Mind?)
Born from Life, not into it
Small Focused Mind, Big Open Mind


© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 

All upcoming classes & workshops
 

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Starts Tues 11th, Weds 12th February, 7.30-8.30 pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to non-dual meditation practice

Begins Saturday 15th February – Freedom & Fullness deep-dive non-dual meditation sessions

Tues 18th, Weds 19th March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

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Biographical Energy Meditation Inner vision Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

Jackal or Tiger? – Creative, wise courage

“Do I want to leap like a tiger here, or listen to the voice of my wise inner jackal”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article is a ‘part 2’ from my earlier article on Are you solar or lunar?, but it also stands alone by itself. 

This week’s Tues/Weds meditation session is on “The generosity of the Bodhisattva”, which relates closely to the Tiger/Jackal theme!

Reminder of this Saturday’s Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self in the morning & Engaged mindfulness & meditation online class at 1700SG time. 

In the spirit of leaping,

Toby
 

 
Article of the week: Jackal or Tiger? – Creative, wise courage


 
I want to tell a short story, then tell a story about myself and my coaching clients that illustrates the greater awakening of both my and their creative nature.
 
Leaping like a tiger
There is a Tibetan folk story about Milarepa, who was one of their most famous ‘Yogis’ or spiritual practitioners. He is loved because his story shows how a poor, socially dis-advantaged person with many obstacles can still achieve greatness (in this case a spiritual enlightenment) in that life. The tale goes like this:
 
Milarepa was once asked by someone why he had become a hermit and recluse, rather than following his teacher Marpa’s example of being a lay meditator & practising whilst at the same time having a family, running a farm & translating text from Sanskrit to Tibetan. Milarepa replied, “If a jackal jumps where a tiger leaps, he will only break his neck!”
The inference here is that Milarepa new his limitations, & stayed within them.
 
In my early years of meditation, this was a guiding tale for me, where the mantra was basically “Know & stay within your limitations”. At a certain point in my life, when I was leaving my career as a monk, founding my own business, and generally facing a lot of uncertainty, the motto of the tale changed quite radically it went from “know your limitations” to:
 
“Sometimes you have to realize that you are the tiger, & leap!”
 
Since then, I often recall this story and, in the face of my challenges, make like a tiger!!
 
So then, that is my story. Not infrequently I meet clients who are facing big inner & outer challenges, uncertainties, intimidations etc, and I will tell them this story. Now, you might think, ha! Ok so now he is going to help them realize that they are a tiger & leap into a new, bigger life! Well, it’s a bit more nuanced than that. Often what I try and do is this:
 
“I will help them to make friends with their big, brave tiger AND their wise jackal, and get them to work together as a team”
 
In the original story, Milarepa compares himself to a jackal, which is an honest assessment of his limitations, and works wisely within them. In many (most?) other ways he was an absolute tiger, enduring any hardships, obstacles, & trials to achieve his goals. He was relentless, ambitions & single-hearted. However, when it came to this lifestyle choice, he listened wisely to the voice of his limitations, and acted accordingly.
When I have clients who come to me feeling overwhelmed, burned out or intimidated, I consider it vital for them to be able to accept and work with their overwhelmed/fearful (etc) ‘inner jackal’, working within those limitations wisely. We can then consider their ‘inner tiger,’ working to find her/him and build their strength. We also introduce them to each other, getting them to communicate around issues and help each other. Building the team of the inner jackal and tiger is fun & creative. It also empowers them to be creative in their choices on a case by case basis. In any given situation they can ask themselves the question:
 
“Do I want to leap like a tiger here, or listen to the voice of my wise inner jackal, being humbler & more strategic?”
 
This question, and having access to the energies of both jackal and tiger offers my clients a radical new range of creative options that they can deploy in order to steer themselves stably and consistently in the right direction without either:

  • Not leaping to their full potential or
  • Over-stretching and doing themselves an injury

In this way they become solar and creative in a way that contains both wisdom and courage, and the understanding of how to combine them both into a functional team!
 
A final point about mindfulness & meditation
 
One of my USP’s as an executive coach is being an expert in meditation & mindfulness, with over thirty years practice & teaching. This shows up in my coaching is as tailored mindfulness exercises that I do with a client based around the content of the session. I record this & share it with them to practise between now & the next time we meet. These exercises create a space where ‘the rubber meets the road’ so to speak. What I mean by that is the ideas covered in the session can be re-visited experientially in the exercise, thus substantially deepening the level on which the ideas can be integrated by the client. Of course mindfulness exercises are optional in the sessions, but often they do play a significant part.
 
Related articles by Toby:
Are you solar or lunar?
Leaping like a tiger
Mindful of your inner artist – Becoming sola not lunar
The role of courage in meditation
© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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Biographical creative imagery Energy Meditation Enlightened love and loving Enlightened service Inner vision Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Stress Transformation

How did I get through tough times as a Monk?

“Resilient endurance in the face of the ongoing difficulties is more a matter of imaginative compassion than simply ‘getting tougher’”

Dear Toby, 

This week’s article explores how I used a particular meditation technique to work with difficulties when I was a monk. If you enjoy it, we will be focusing upon it as a part of this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class. 


In the spirit of compassionate imagination,

Toby


How did I get through tough times as a Monk?
 
During my time as a Buddhist monk, there were plenty of times when I felt I had my back against the wall.

  • Lack of financial & material resources was always a threat
  • Being an unknown element in a mainstream society mean that not all attention was good attention by any means
  • The organization that I worked for was often understaffed in terms of manpower, and so there was often a sense of having to do several different (unpaid) jobs at the same time
  • The path of meditation itself threw up many things to be processed as I moved from one level to the next.

There was a particular set of meditation instructions called ‘Lojong’, or ‘instructions for training the mind’ which was particularly useful at such times. I would even go as far as to say it was my main practice, in the sense of the one that I derived the most value from. I’ll describe below a simple process that I would follow in meditation that really captures the essence of it. For the sake of an example, let’s imagine that the suffering I am contemplating is the heat and discomfort of being a monk in Singapore, where it is very hot and humid, and I was often living in placed without air-conditioning.
 
A visual tool
These meditations were often done with a jewel of enlightenment visualized at my heart. The jewel would be made of light and have the essence of my enlightened nature.
 
“May all my future sufferings ripen upon me now”
This first position involved contemplating the suffering or confusion that I was going through, and then, in the spirit of compassion say something like:
 
“May all my future suffering of this kind ripen upon me right now”
 
I would then imagine all the future suffering, to use the example all the discomfort and dizziness of living with too much heat, gathering around me as dark light and smoke. It them ‘ripened upon me now’ by dissolving into the ‘jewel of enlightenment’ at my heart, eventually disappearing. I would then strongly think that all my future suffering regarding heat had already been endured, and that I was free from it, relaxing into the joy of that recognition.
So, of course I was still sitting in the heat of Singapore, and would continue to do so. But the effect of the meditation, at least for a while is that my mental and emotional pain around the heat would reduce dramatically, and I could continue on in a state of relative peace and calm.
 
“May the sufferings of others ripen upon me now”
A further development of this was reflecting upon the fact that my suffering was only one persons’, and that there were many other living beings experiencing the same and worse regarding discomfort and pain around heat/temperature. So then reflecting upon this compassionately I would contemplate “May the sufferings of heat of all living beings ripen upon me now!”
I would then imagine this pain & suffering gathering around me like a cloud of dark, hot(!) smoke, and see it then dissolving into the jewel of enlightenment at my heart, eventually disappearing.  I would then meditate strongly on the thought that all those suffering from heat in different ways had been liberated, and were now free and happy. I took this joyful recognition as an object of meditation for a few minutes.
 
The purpose of doing this meditation was not to be masochistic, rather it was, and is to:

  • Develop resilient endurance in the face of the ongoing difficulties
  • Strengthen compassion and reduce unhealthy self-obsession
  • Find joy in the process of releasing ourself and others from pain and sufferings

Reading the sequence through initially may leave you thinking “Eeeuw, no way!” but doing the practice a few times, we start to see how effective it is at reducing our pain and suffering in the moment, and finding ways to get through challenging times relatively unscathed. It certainly was and is a method I’ve found most useful in my own path.
 
Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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Biographical creative imagery Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology mind body connection Presence and being present

Progressively recovering your joie de vivre (Meditating with your inner child)

“If you are prepared to do the work, it seems there truly are no edges to your level of inner joy”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

The photo of the child with this article is me when I was around 8 or 9. I keep it on the fridge. I noticed last week that the fridge magnet marked ‘l’excitacion’, or excitement in French had been placed on my forehead, which inspired me to write about my own ongoing journey in the domain of Therapeutic mindfulness. 
If you enjoy the article, then do consider participating in the upcoming Therapeutic mindfulness course, which is full of practices to help you re-connect to the joy of living, and move beyond long-held fears.  

And final heads up for this Wednesday’s Autumn Equinox meditation, either live or online!
 
In the spirit of exitacion,

Toby 


Progressively recovering your joie de vivre (Meditating with your inner child)
 
When I left my life as a Buddhist monk, aged 31, I had been practising eastern meditation forms in a very disciplined manner for a decade. I had experienced many wonderful and amazing meditation states, and had a solid working experience of the awakened state/enlightenment experience. Despite this I noticed that there were still parts of my everyday consciousness that seemed to have been untouched by all this work. I found that certain types of anxiety, irritability and fear had not gone away, and sometimes seemed even worse. This was partly why I left my life as a monk, because I felt I needed to broaden my search for answers to these unresolved areas. The answer was not just ‘do more meditation’, I had to do something differently.

One of the things that I focused on that year was exercises specifically based on the psychological level of my being, based around western theories of trauma and around working with emotional states. I began regular work with my ‘inner child’, exercises including visualization, dialoguing, breathing and body-work. I was very surprised how much work there was to be done! I considered myself pretty well-adjusted as a person, which I think I was, but even so, there was so much to re-connect to, so much to work with, so much to discover. During this period, I really felt I recovered much of my joie de vivre, and got a badly needed ‘second-wind’ for my inner growth that powered me into the next decade of my life.
But the amazing thing about this is that even though I felt that I now had a very good relationship to my inner child (and other sub personalities), it is a process that does not seem to end. Fast forward to the beginning of this year. At the beginning of the year, I often check in with my ‘inner family’ in meditation. When meeting my inner child, I had this experience:

“I am walking along the middle of a shallow river that I used to play in as a child. I come to a bridge from which I used to look down at the big fish swimming in and out of the dark water underneath. On the sand to one side of the bridge I see my inner child. I wade over to him, and we squat for a while looking under the bridge. Then he smiles to me and we begin to walk into the water and under the bridge (I never went under the bridge as a child). We stand in silence looking and feeling the fish around our feet, in gentle awe and excitement. After while we walk on and out from the other side of the bridge. We walk on to a meadow next to the river. My child-self utters a cry, and starts to run around the meadow, whooping, and laughing out of pure joy, I watch on, quite amazed, and aware of a new level of joy in myself that I have never experienced before.”

After the meditation, this new level of joy within myself has persisted, and it seems clear to me that some level of inhibition or fear in my child has been resolved. This is a full fifteen years after starting my active relationship with him. So even now my life and experience are expanding and growing from my inner work with my child self and other related therapeutic mindfulness practices aimed at building a strong inner-self psychologically. If you do the work, it seems there truly are no edges to your level of inner joy.
   
 
Related article: Meditating with your child self
Creating a therapeutic mindfulness space
Wake, up, Grow up, Clean up, Flow – The Art of Enlightened Flow
 

Special Coaching Offer for the Month of September – Free 20minute coaching session with Toby

For the remaining two weeks of September Integral Meditation Asia is offering free 20minute coaching sessions with Toby!
If you have been interested in the idea of getting some personal coaching on a particular issue or challenge, and/or want to explore what 1:1 meditation coaching can do for you in terms of both your quality of and direction in life, this is a great opportunity to find out what it is like with Toby. These 20minute sessions can be done on Zoom or via Whatsapp.
You can find read the general write up of Toby’s Life-fullness Coaching here, & his other forms of coaching here.
You can read feedback and reviews from Toby’s coaching sessions here. 

To arrange your 20minute session or for further enquiries: Email info@tobyouvry.com, or W-App65-96750279

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Biographical Insight Meditation Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Relaxing into who you are – Mindfulness around reputation

“Generally, I’ve noticed that caring less and caring appropriately about reputation doesn’t harm it in ways that really matter too much, and that good people are often drawn to me turning up authentically and offering something genuine”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article looks at reputation as an object of mindful attention, if you enjoy it, do feel free to join us for this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class, where we shall be taking it as out subject for meditation.

Heads up for two events next week: Starting Tues/Weds April 11th/12th , 7.30-8.30pm – Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course & Saturday 15th April 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

In the spirit of the life-eternal, 
 
Toby 

Relaxing into who you are – Mindfulness around reputation

‘PROPHECY’ By Anthony De Mello
“I wish to become a teacher of the Truth.”
“Are you prepared to be ridiculed, ignored and starving till you are forty-five?”
“I am. But tell me: what will happen after I am forty-five?”
“You will have grown accustomed to it.”
 
The above story is one of my favourites, I mention it quite often in my trainings and coaching sessions. Over the years it has really helped my to relax into who I am, do the work that I want to do and, based upon that invite others to participate in a way that I can make a living
 
Are you prepared to be ridiculed, ignored and starving till you are forty-five?
With reputation, its worth looking at the attachments and anxieties that we have around it. Naturally we don’t want to be ridiculed or thought of as stupid, we want affirmation from others. Naturally we don’t want to be ignored, we want to feel that we have value and that that value is recognised. The thought of not having enough resources to survive haunts us, and we feel we need to make friends and allies to help us avoid that ( even though for the most part we are well beyond the point of completely running out of food and money). All of this is understandable, but it becomes a problem when we start to change ourself and divert from our own basic authenticity in order to gain or sustain a ‘good reputation’ with others and in our community.
I stated relating this story when I was around 40 years old (I misread the age in the text). When I told it I told it in relation to the work of being an independent mindfulness and meditation teacher, outside of the mainstream plying my trade and encouraging participation. I had struggled somewhat up to that point with the task of being happy to stick to my guns in terms of my work, and not be too bothered who liked it, disliked it or just wasn’t interested. I wanted to be thought well of, be recognised and rewarded when I set out my stall and made an offering. By the time I hit 40 however it had started to be more of an amusing game to me, ‘rejected’ or ‘ignored’ had become something I had accepted as a normal part of things. There was a real liberation that came from this in two ways:

  • Firstly, my peace of mind and equanimity in the face of reputational concerns increased
  • Secondly, I felt free-er to simply turn up and be myself, offer what I had to offer and relax into the effects/consequences of that

Another couple of effects were:

  • I started enjoying my work more, and engaging with more enthusiasm
  • I noticed that, when people did like what I did, or connected with what I offered, it felt stronger; what I gave out tended to come back

 
Letting go of over-concern won’t harm your reputation
I’m not suggesting here that you completely don’t give a sh*t about what others think of you, just that you:

  • Recognize and release over-concern around reputation
  • Don’t compromise yourself for the sake of your reputation
  • Make the cultivation of your reputation an aspect of your curiosity, creativity and ethics, rather than neurosis and insecurity
  • Value your reputation with the people that you value, and that value you, rather than ‘everyone’
  • Become good at affirming your own fundamental value and worth instead of needing that affirmation from what others think of you

Generally, I’ve noticed that caring less and caring appropriately about reputation doesn’t harm it in ways that really matter too much, and that good people are often drawn to me turning up authentically and offering something genuine.
Back in my Tibetan Buddhist days reputation was amongst four domains to cultivate even-mindedness around:

  • Pleasure and pain
  • Loss and gain
  • Praise and blame
  • Good reputation bad reputation

Even-mindedness around of them has substantial rewards, ‘reputational even-mindedness’ is a base for types of happiness and confidence that cannot be had when we are at the mercy of the opinions of others. And you probably won’t starve, either.

Related reading: The experiential self: Meditation, vividness & charisma

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Sat & Sunday 1st, 2nd April – Two day integral meditation retreat

Starts Tues/Weds April 11th/12th , 7.30-8.30pm – Meditations for thriving and energy creation – An eight week course

Saturday 15th April 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday April 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Tues 30th/Weds 31st May – Wesak meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Biographical Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Presence and being present

Climbing, not carrying mountains

“When we focus on climbing, not carrying our mountains, we don’t run out of energy so fast because we are not carrying a heavy burden. we can persist over long periods of time without burning out. This in turn gives rise to tremendous self-confidence arising from our sense of resilience”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Wishing everyone all the very best for 2023! Below is an article that I wrote after a day of climbing in the jungle on new year’s eve. If you enjoy it then do come along (live or online) for the  2023 New year ‘Beginners mind’ meditation on the 3rd or 4th of Jan.

In the spirit of  climbing & not carrying,

Toby

Climbing, not carrying mountains

Today, 31st December I spent the morning with my daughter climbing through the jungle up and down a small mountain in the Cameron highlands, Malaysia. Its always lovely how your mind clears and you really can settle into the rhythm of the moment, almost forgetting the rest of your life when you are in deeper nature. For me it invited the remembrance of really how to put things down and, traveling lightly, to return to a beginner’s mind, moving from step to step between the earth and sky, between the leaves and the breeze.
Once we got down from the peak it got me reflecting. With all the things going on in our life it can feel difficult sometimes to really enjoy our journey joyfully, with a beginner’s mind. This quote from Najwa Zebian is a great object of meditation to hold what you are going thru more lightly:
“These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb”


If our challenges and problems are mountains, then the job is to climb them, not carry them. If we make the mistake, as we often do, of carrying around our problem-mountains on our back, its no wonder we feel tired and overwhelmed. So, the first mindful object here is:
“Notice when you are carrying your mountains, and put them down!”


Once you have got a feel for this putting-down maneuver, really notice the contrast in your body-sense as well as your mindset between being a ‘mountain carrier’ and an agile, light ‘mountain-climber’. You want to stay with this second sensibility for most of the time, and let go of the first as much as possible. The second mindful object then becomes:
“Stick to the discipline of climbing (and descending) lightly”

‘Carrying rumination’
When you are trying to carry your mountains, the heaviness can invite rumination and regret:

  • “Why did I get myself into this?”
  • “I should have done this differently”
  • “Why me?”
  • “It’s unbearable, I can’t take it any more…It’s my fault/someone else’s” (there has to be someone to blame!)

‘Climbing solving’
When you are focused on climbing and not carrying, then as well as the feeling of lightness and durability that is gained, it is easier simply to focus, to quote Nat Branden “Not on who’s to blame, but what is to be done?”. Our challenges are problems that require some form of solution, or sometimes simply acceptance. If we aren’t weighted down by the carrying, then we can simply reflect upon what can be done, and do it! If a challenge turns out to be a tricky one, we can simply try and try again. We don’t run out of energy so fast because we are not carrying a heavy burden, we can persist over long periods of time without burning out. This in turn gives rise to tremendous self-confidence arising from our sense of resilience.

Some areas for mindful exploration:
Sitting quietly, breathe and relax into some of the themes in this piece:

  • These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb
  • Notice when you are carrying your mountains, and put them down
  • Stick to the discipline of climbing (and descending) lightly
  • Not on who’s to blame, but what is to be done?
  • Return to your beginner’s mind

Happy mountain climbing with your beginner’s mind!

Related reading: Combining your Beginners Mind & your Wise Mind

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Integral Meditation Practice (IMP) is a different kind of mind-body training, that aims to provide optimal inner peace, centeredness, energy and insight for the contemporary meditation practitioner. It combines eastern and western forms of practice, as well as ancient and modern ones into a series of integrative practices. The practices enable the meditator to remain resilient, energized and creative in the face of the multi-faceted challenges of modern life. These eight classes give an introduction to IMP, in a simple, accessible manner…see full details

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 ‘Beginners mind’ meditation

This meditation session is focused upon setting up the 2022 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2022

Read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 New year ‘Beginners mind’ meditation

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday January 28th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Biographical Enlightened service Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership

Monk socks/Going undercover

Dear Integral Meditators,

I hope you are enjoying the holiday season! Winter solstice coming up next Tuesday, if you are  interested in marking this with a meditation, then you’d be welcome to come along to my online  Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only) , on Tuesday 21st December,  7.30-8.30pm, SG time…

I’m at my parent’s place at the moment. yesterday my brother went up to the loft and brought down a bag with several pairs of burgundy socks, mine from my days as a monk back in the 90’s (see picture). This got me thinking about those times, and the article below is one thing that came out!

In the spirit of integration,

Toby

Deep undercover (An ex-monk returning to the market-place)

Some of you may remember the 2002 Hong Kong movie ‘Infernal affairs’ with Tony Leung about a policeman who goes deep undercover in a Triad gang, and then becomes the favourite of the ‘Godfather’ of the gang. The movie then follows his identity crisis as he moves deeper into his criminal role.

“Can I stay in your jail?”
When I was a young Buddhist monk staying in Singapore, I stayed for a number of months in the spare room of a student of mine, who lived in a local HDB apartment. He was a plainclothes policeman who had been undercover for a number of years in the local nightclub and drug scene. Like Tony Leung (but in a different way) he had gone deep into his role, and lost himself in the cars, the booze and the lifestyle of his role. Eventually after losing his marriage and having a bit of a breakdown, he had given up his undercover role, returned to mainstream policing, and become very devoted to Buddhism and meditation practice, which he had used a way of returning to relative normalcy and stability.
My undercover policeman had started coming to my class a couple of months earlier, and I had been staying at a number of different places in Singapore, just improvising really. When I learned that he was a policeman, I figured I could ask him if he had any spare jail cells that I could use to stay in. When I asked him, he looked very serious and thoughtful for a while, then said “No, but I have a meditation room in my apartment, and you can stay there!” And this is how I ended up staying with him.

Coming out of or going back undercover? – Returning to the marketplace as an ex-monk
When I returned to lay life as a monk in 2001, it felt a bit like I was simultaneously coming out of and going undercover:

  • In one way I felt I was coming out of an undercover role, or an alternate reality that I had been living as a monk, and the universe that surrounded that
  • On another level I felt I was going undercover in the sense that I was clearly now coming from quite a different perspective and experience from most of those around me in everyday society. So I was kind of having to ‘look normal’ whilst being quite different in reality!

Transforming but staying the same
Since that time, twenty years ago, I have remained in this situation, in many ways operating according to the same principles that I learned, practiced and created as a monk. Essentially what this means is that my main motivation for being in the world is to help with the evolution of the consciousness of groups and individuals my coaching and teaching meditation and mindfulness. On another level I have changed fundamentally. I am a business owner, I have a couple of kids, I’m married, I have a relatively complex secular life.

The integration is the path, not the problem
To hold these two polarities in places sometimes seems like a tricky process, like holding together two realities that seem to contradict each other. Over the years I have realized increasingly that the task of bringing together these two realities in an integrated way is not in the way of my path, it is my path. The path for me is very much the process of spiritualizing the secular, and secularizing the spiritual, so that together a greater wholeness is created in the world.
In what ways are you ‘working undercover’? And what is the transformation that might be affected within yourself and within society if you were successful in your role?

Related article: Am I happier now than when I was a Buddhist Monk? (Repetition and inner growth)

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Tuesday 21st December,  7.30-8.30pm, SG time – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

This will be a chance to reflect on the spiritual meaning of Christmas and power of the winter season. We will look at the different ways our own inner light can ‘die and be re-born once more’.

It is a good time to attune to the creative energies within ourselves. We can think about the new year & spring periods that lie ahead of us, what our goals & expectations are, & sow the seeds on an inner level of that which we wish to manifest over the next few months…read full details

 

Tues & Weds 4th & 5th January – 2022 New year & New Moon releasing and inviting meditation

This meditation session is focused upon setting up the 2022 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2022
  • Focusing both consciously and intuitively upon the inviting of new energies, aspirations and goals that we wish to bring in and manifest over the course of the new year…read full details

Begins Tues 11/Weds 12th January – The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

This series of 10 classes is an introduction to simple, practical Zen and Taoist meditations that can temporarily help us to reduce our stress and thrive joyfully in daily life. They can also, practiced regularly offer us experiential insight into our true nature and help us to answer some of our deepest life-questions and attain a truly stable sense of inner transformation. The sessions can be attended as a complete course in itself, or each class can be taken as a practice in and of itself…read full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 21st December,  7.30-8.30pm, SG time – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

Tues & Weds 4th & 5th January – 2022 New year & New Moon releasing and inviting meditation

Begins Tues 11/Weds 12th January – The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Biographical Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Mindfully dis-agreeable

Dear Integral Meditators,

One of the reasons we shy away from dis-agreeable people and energy is that it can feel pretty volatile, even violent at times. This doesn’t mean we can avoid it however, it makes it an even more important aspect of ourselves that we need to master in the right way. The article below explores how to do start doing this.

Heads up for this weeks Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session on Tuesday & Wednesday evenings, and for the start next Monday of  The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood.

In the spirit of agreeably dis-agreeable,

Toby

Mindfully dis-agreeable

Recently I’ve been encountering some dis-agreeable people in my life, and I’ve also noticed my coaching clients are facing a few as well! Being by nature a fairly agreeable person, I find dealing with people who are dis-agreeable quite challenging. This is not necessarily because they are ‘bad’ and I am ‘good’. Rather it is because they feel comfortable and even enjoy conflict, whereas for me I prefer reconciliation, co-operation, consideration and other ‘agreeable’ ways of interacting. Over the years it’s become very clear to me that, if you are a kind gentle person without an appropriately dis-agreeable side, then this places you at a big dis-advantage in life. You need to have access to gentleness and kindness, balanced by the capacity to manage conflict appropriately.

The higher and lower expressions of dis-agreeable
One of the reasons you might be reluctant to embrace your dis-agreeable side is that you confuse it with outright negativity. You may equate dis-agreeable with qualities like:

  • Delusional and paranoid
  • Grumpy or negatively angry
  • Unreasonable
  • Emotionally immature or stunted
  • Sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies
  • Physically or psychologically abusive or violent

However, dis-agreeable can also mean the appropriate, balanced capacity to be appropriately

  • Assertive and powerful
  • Just and fair
  • Protective of self and others
  • Defend boundaries
  • Stand up to bullies
  • Tell the and/or your truth

This second list of dis-agreeable qualities I think you can see are important to develop and own within yourself.

Agreeable is always good?
Contrastingly, we often have the idea that ‘agreeable’ is always a good quality. It means you are a person who is kind, caring, conciliatory, looking for compromise, considerate and so on. However, the lower quality of imbalanced agreeable people includes

  • Being submissive and weak
  • Running away from conflict
  • Avoiding reality, living in a dreamworld
  • Can’t speak up for themselves
  • Avoids an argument of conversation that needs having
  • Is an escapist
  • Represses their anger and becomes vulnerable to depression or low self-esteem

So then, to learn to be ‘good’ at dis-agreeability means:

  • To learn to be happy to be in conflict with someone and hold your space/position
  • Stop hoping the other person will be reasonable, and just take each transaction one at a time without overly stressing about it
  • Learn to tolerate and even enjoy dis-agreements
  • To not be intimidated by the anger or aggression of others
  • To own your own positive anger and aggression in the service of the good and the true

One of the reasons we shy away from dis-agreeable energy is that it can feel pretty volatile and even violent at times. This doesn’t mean we can avoid it however, it makes it an even more important aspect of our energy that we need to master in the right way!
The next time you are in a space where there is conflict, and where there are dis-agreeable people around, pay attention, there is a lot to train in and get mindfully better at!

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Tues 19th & Weds 20th October – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

About the meditation: We all live our life within an environment that consists fundamentally/experientially of the Earth, Moon, Sun and Stars. The monthly lunar cycle describes our relationship to the Moon, and the powerful influence that it has on our life. In the physical world we see this influence most obviously in the tides of the sea. In our inner life we experience it as the coming and going of energy, moods and emotions within our psyche. This meditation, done on or around the full moon capitalises on the heightened lunar energies at this time of the month to…read full details

Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving in your life as a man?

Much is asked of men in their traditional roles as fathers and sons, partners and husbands, students and teachers, employees and employers. The men’s group is a professionally moderated and confidential forum for men. A forum is a safe place for exploring, learning and sharing the successful perspectives, skills, and strategies needed to address and manage the unique issues, problems, and triumphs in our community…read full details

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Samhain (Aka All hallows eve, or Halloween) is the time in the northern hemisphere when we enter the darker months of the year & winter. Traditionally it is said to be the time when the veil between the world of the living and the inner world of our ancestors is said to be thinnest. Consequently, it is an ideal time for us to commune with our ancestors in meditation…read full details

Friday 5th November 7.30-8.30pm – Online New moon beginners mind, health visualization & envisioning session

About the session: This class is done monthly around the turn of the new moon and enable us to open to new beginnings, new possibilities and make a fresh start, specifically with regard to physical health and psychological wellbeing
“A picture speaks a thousand words” as the saying goes! In meditation we use  two main methods:

  • Visualization – The conscious use of images and imagery to invoke a better present moment and future experience of health
  • Envisioning – The seeking of spontaneous inner visions that connect us to sources of health & support in the imaginal world, and inspire us toward greater levels of energy energy and wellbeing

Read full details…

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Life Coaching and Meditation coaching 3-6month packages are on a 15% offer up until Weds 20th October. If getting some coaching is an idea you have been contemplating, then this is a good opportunity to get it and save some money on the price. 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Begins Tues 14/Weds 15th September – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

Saturday October 16th & 23rd, 10am-4pm – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Friday 5th November 7.30-8.30pm – Online New moon beginners mind, health visualization & envisioning session

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology