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Your emotional feeling tones

“By starting to notice and to play around with your emotional tones, you discover that you can ‘change the song of your life’ like a composer re-working her compositions.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article points out some playful ways to work with your emotional experience and range using mindfulness, I hope you enjoy it!
Last call for the 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditationThe Wednesday live class is already full, there are a few live slots for the Tuesday session, and of course online attendance is possible.

I am currently plotting the events for January 2021, watch this space!

In the spirit of composing your feelings,

Toby


Your emotional feeling tones

One way of thinking about emotions is that they are ‘The feeling tone associated with any experience’. By experience here I mean a broad range of things:

  • Different thoughts you have
  • Of a conversation or social interaction
  • Of a place; its atmosphere and ‘tone’
  • Of an image or memory that comes into your mind
  • In response to something that happens to you
  • Of a time of day

Each experience has a different feeling tone, like the note on a musical scale. Moreover, our own feeling tones are interacting with the emotional tones of other people and of our environment. Sometimes this creates a beautiful symphony, and sometimes this creates an almighty racket!
We are not in charge of the feeling tones of others, but we can start to become more aware of our own habitual feeling tones and patterns. If we do this we can then start to see how we can change our feeling tones and moods for the better, and put them into more beautiful ‘musical combinations’ with each other. Ways of starting to do this include:

  • Noticing the feeling tone that arise with particular thoughts, images and memories you have. Rather than looking at the content of the thought, look at the emotional tone of it.
  • With particular patterns of thought and image, you will notice that the feeling tones they produce for you are brighter and more harmonious. You can focus on deliberately holding these thoughts and images as a way of raising the vibration of your feeling tones.
  • You will notice that there are some images related to landscape and place that, when you think of them naturally raise your emotional tone. Likewise passages of music, images of characters in stories that you know (and so on) can all lift your overall feeling tone.
  • If you notice that you get stuck in a negative or ‘low level’ feeling tone, you can practice just experiencing it as a feeling tone, rather than taking the content too personally!
  • If you notice that a friend or colleague you spend time with really lifts your feeling tones, then deliberately open to them and allow their tones to affect you when you are with them. Similarly, if there is someone whose emotional tones bring yours down, then when you are with them, then practice ‘closing’ your energy to them in their company, so you are not so affected.

In a coaching session the other day I explained to a client that sometimes it is like your range of feeling tones is a bit like being one type of composer. Maybe if you notice are a more ‘serious’ composer like a Wagner or a Beethoven, you might like to introduce another composer into the mix. For example, you could practice creating more playful feeling tones like a Mozart or a Vivaldi. Or if your feeling tones are all ‘heavy metal’ you might like to practice creating feeling tones like a Prince, Taylor Swift or other more whimsical pop star. Of course this works the other way around; if you are all Taylor Swift and Mozart, maybe practice bringing a bit more gravitas into your feeling tones.
When you start to work mindfully with your feeling tones, it can be very creative and playful. By starting to notice and to play around with your emotional tones, you discover that you can ‘change the song of your life’ like a composer re-working her compositions.
Enjoy playing with your feeling tones!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com


 

Tues 29th & Weds 30th Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation
About the class: This meditation session is focused upon  setting up the 2021 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential, and
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2019
  • Focusing both consciously and intuitively upon the inviting of new energies, aspirations and goals that we wish to bring in and manifest over the course of the new year

Full details


Re-starts Monday January 11th! – 7-8.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving in your life as a man?

Much is asked of men in their traditional roles as fathers and sons, partners and husbands, students and teachers, employees and employers. The men’s group is a professionally moderated and confidential forum for men. A forum is a safe place for exploring, learning and sharing the successful perspectives, skills, and strategies needed to address and manage the unique issues, problems, and triumphs in our community.
Read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details

 

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tues 29th & Weds 30th Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Re-starts Monday January 11th! – 7-8.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

January 16th & 23rd – Shamanic meditation and mini-retreat (Details to follow!)


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation

The Art of Non-emergency

“Spending a few minutes each day recognizing and relaxing into safety can really help you take the idea of non-emergency into an actual experience that you can use to change the quality of your life.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

I hope you have been enjoying the Winter Solstice period!

This weeks article is a fundamental integral meditation practice from my point of view, it sets up a whole bunch of good effects in your body mind and heart, and opens up a world of stability and ease.

Seasonal blessings and best wishes to all of you!

Toby


The Art of Non-emergency

The feeling of emergency
There are many things in our life that can stimulate the feeling within us that we are in a dangerous and ‘emergency’ state:

  • Uncertainty around Covid and the economy
  • Being overwhelmed by the amount of information and choices that we have to make
  • Having difficulties and unresolved conflicts in our relationships
  • Past unresolved emotions and expereinces within ourself
  • Some chemical things like just having too much caffeine in your system

The list goes on, but the essential feeling is similar; our nervous system becomes primed for ‘fight or flight’ mode much of the time, and we spend a lot of our life living as if we were in real danger of immanent disaster!

Reality checking your emergency
Let’s check this against reality:

  • How much of your day yesterday was a real actual emergency?
  • In the next day, what is the likelihood of you being in real, life-threatening danger?
  • If you gave yourself permission to really relax and take it easy for the next half-hour, would this be inviting immanent disaster?

The answers to these questions when you ask them is pretty obvious. We have spent maybe 0.05% of our life in real danger. The rest of the time is a relative non-emergency. There is very rarely a time, if ever when it is appropriate to say, ‘I have no room for any relaxation in this moment, I cannot relax!’

The discipline of non-emergency
So, our paranoid mind is saying our life is a dangerous trap, and emergency. We check this against reality and find that life is almost all a non-emergency. As a mindfulness practice we can then practice the discipline of recognizing the state of non-emergency and enjoy relaxing into it for substantial periods of our day. We can relax into non-emergency at the same time as being productive and trouble shooting problems. Non-emergency can be an active or passive state. Either way it is restorative, enjoyable and keeps us in touch with our basic sanity!

Non-emergency gives you space to deal with difficult things
Being firmly grounded in state of non-emergency gives us resilience and intelligence when navigating difficult and tense problems. Because we aren’t panicking, we don’t burn out and we don’t waste energy. We can hold uncertainty, intense emotion, volatility and so forth without being knocked off balance.

Calm under pressure – Non-emergency helps you recognize a real emergency
If your good at non-emergency, this will also help you recognize a real emergency and deal with it well. Last week my wife and I went to a first-aid for infants workshop. The essential message of the facilitator was that, in an emergency the impulse is to panic, but the best thing to do is remain calm and act systematically and rationally. Being solidly familiar with the non-emergency state will give you the presence of mind to stay calm under pressure and deal with real emergencies calmly and effectively.

Formal practice
Spending a few minutes each day recognizing and relaxing into safety can really help you take the idea of non-emergency into an actual experience that you can use to change the quality of your life. Just breathe in and recognize the non-emergency, breathe out relax into it. There you go, you’ve already begun the journey!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com


Re-starts Monday January 11th! – 7-8.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving in your life as a man?

Much is asked of men in their traditional roles as fathers and sons, partners and husbands, students and teachers, employees and employers. The men’s group is a professionally moderated and confidential forum for men. A forum is a safe place for exploring, learning and sharing the successful perspectives, skills, and strategies needed to address and manage the unique issues, problems, and triumphs in our community.
Read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tues 29th & Weds 30th Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Re-starts Monday January 11th! – 7-8.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Concentration creative imagery Energy Meditation Meditation techniques Mindful Breathing Mindful Resilience

Meditating like a sponge (Cultivating singularity)

“Any activity that takes us from a state of diversity, distraction and fragmentation to a state of unity, or singularity is meditation”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What is meditation? How do you become a real meditator in the real sense of the word? How can you start to build ‘super-normal’ capacities on an inner level, at the same time as connecting to genuinely stable peace? The article below has a look at some aspects of this, and offers a simple practice.

And heads up for next weeks Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation on Tuesday and Wednesday evening.

In the spirit of depth-in-health,

Toby


Meditating like a sponge (Cultivating singularity)

Meditation is the movement from diversity to singularity
There are lots of different types of meditation, but one useful definition of it is that it is “Any activity that takes us from a state of diversity, distraction and fragmentation to a state of unity, or singularity”.
Usually during the day, from the time we wake up, our mind moves outwards towards the world, exploring, thinking about, wanting and so on. Our attention gets broken up and fragmented into little pieces; a bit is over here, a bit is over there, another part is stuck somewhere else. For many people this condition becomes chronic; their mind is always active, always distracted, never still, never unified or resting. A meditative activity is one that reverses this flow; the mind and attention move inwards toward our centre, our energy gathers increasingly in one place, we start to experience ourself as whole, single and unified.
For some people, some activities are almost ‘meditation by accident’; the runner who gets hypnotized by the rhythm of her strides, the painter who absorbs into his brush-strokes, the cook absorbed in her ingredients.

The unified or integrated body-mind
Someone who is a meditator is one who consciously and deliberately engages in practices that move them from a state of distraction to a state of unity and singularity. They practice gathering their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energy into a single place and holding it there. This in turn starts to give rise, gradually and incrementally (though sometimes in sudden spurts) to super-normal capacities:

  • Stronger than usual capacity for focus and intentionality
  • Deeper perception and the ability to see and understand subtle objects and dimensions of experiential reality
  • The capacity to use consciousness as a tool for healing
  • The integration of the body, mind heart and spirit into a unified ‘super-organism’ or family unit

Meditating like a sponge
One simple breathing and visualization method that I have evolved and use to move quickly and easily into a relatively unified state is one I call “Meditating like a sponge”. To do this you simply:

  • Sit or stand or lie comfortably. Imagine that your body is like a dry sponge, and all of your mental, emotional and spiritual energy is like water
  • As you breathe in, strongly imagine all of your energy being absorbed into your body, like water being absorbed by a sponge. As you breathe out, feel your body, mind and emotions to be increasingly unified in this moment, absorbed into your body
  • Repeat the breathing pattern for a chosen period of time, occasionally pausing the visualization to simply experience the increased state of unity. Gradually get to know and experience what it is like to experience yourself as a unity or singularity, as opposed to a distracted mess!

This is a simple technique, but it contains within it the basic elements needed to start playing with and experiencing meditation. It’s also a technique that can grow with you. As the subtlety and power of your meditation practice develops, this method can evolve in depth as you do.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com

Saturday December 19th, 2.30-5pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat

These 2.5 hour meditation ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques, Toby will guide you into deep meditation flow states that…read full details


Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

About the class: The Winter Solstice is deepest point of Winter in the northern hemisphere, the point of maximum outer darkness & the shortest day.

In Celtic the name of the winter solstice in ‘Alban Arthan’ of ‘The Light of Arthur’. In this case Arthur refers to the Sun God who, at this time of maximum darkness in the year dies and is reborn in the world of nature and within ourselves…read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details


All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty

Tues & Weds 15th, 16th  December, 7.30-8.30pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

Saturday December 19th, 2.30-5pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Tues 29th & Weds 30th Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Biographical Energy Meditation Enlightened service Integral Awareness Life-fullness mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

Giving back anxiety that is not yours

“Owning and dealing with your anxiety well is an important life skill, However, sometimes the anxiety we experience is not entirely our own, and the solution to it is to recognize this and sometimes simply to give it back.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What’s the boundary between what you feel, and the feelings of those around you, and in your environment? This weeks article looks at this boundary, and how to become clearer and more aware about it.

If you enjoy the article, then you may consider this Saturday’s Mindfulness Masterclass  3-5pm Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty. If your interested in how to really put your anxiety to good positive use, then this is a great session to attend, you can come live or online!

In the spirit of mindful inoculation,

Toby


Giving back anxiety that is not yours

Owning and dealing with your anxiety well is an important life skill. There are often uncertainties and other causes that stimulate anxiety in our life, so knowing how to navigate this is fundamental. However, sometimes the anxiety we experience is not entirely our own, and the solution to it is to recognize this and sometimes simply to ‘give it back’.

A story
When I first started teaching meditation classes, first as a young layperson, then as a monk I would teach classes in the evening and then return back home. Often, I noticed that when I lay down to sleep that night, my body would feel uncomfortable, I would toss and turn, and I’d be having all sorts of difficult and strange trains of thought. I would have difficulty falling asleep, and often I would wake up in the middle of the night and continue to have difficult and anxious trains of thought, along with uncomfortable body sensations. At first I interpreted these as being all my own, and struggled manfully to resolve the trains of thought and emotions that were coming up. After a while however I started to recognize that actually, because I had been holding space for others in the class, I had absorbed emotional energy from the group, and what I was experiencing was actually empathic emotion and anxiety, that was not actually mine. After realizing this, I changed my strategy, recognizing and letting go of the anxiety that was not mine, and focusing on clearing out the dissonant energy from my body. Now when I do a class or coaching, noticing and releasing anxiety and energy that is not mine is mostly instinctive, but it is nevertheless vital for me to make the recognition when it occurs and is happening to me.

A few examples of when you might need to give back the anxiety

  • If your partner, close friend or family member is anxious or moody about something, and you ‘catch’ a bit of it
  • Certain atmospheres, anxieties and emotion in the office, or in your work team
  • Certain places or neighbourhoods that carry a particular dissonant energy
  • When there is large scale anxiety, such as in the recent Covid crisis, the group  anxiety amplifies and feeds off our own, and they strengthen each other
  • When someone has a type of anxiety that strongly resembles your own, and your identification with it means you absorb some empathically

In all of these cases, the anxiety is not ‘yours’ per-se, but it can infect you if you let it. The main thing to do here is to recognize that and either ‘hand it back’ so to speak, or observe it and release it from your own energy system.

You can apply this to other emotions and states
Of course, this doesn’t just apply to anxiety, it applies to many other emotional states, anger, fear, sadness. It also applies to positive emotions and states. We all have experience of being positively affected by an atmosphere, or a person or a place. When this happens, we can enjoy participating in it, rather than handing it back!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com

 


Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty (Live & Online)

Anxiety is a natural response to uncertainty and change, but for many of us the experience of anxiety is disturbing, upsetting, draining and stressful. This session focuses on practical ways to change your relationship to anxiety by:

  • Accepting and working with your causes of anxiety
  • Building greater awareness and appreciation of the things that give you stability and security in life
  • Learning to think effectively and wisely around uncertainties and problems that are causing you anxiety

Read full details


Tues & Weds 15th, 16th  December, 7.30-8.30pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

This session consists of :

  • An opening section attuning to the new moon energy, and return to our ‘beginners mind’ a state of ‘new beginnings’
  • visualization section where we connect to positive imagery related to our own health, and the health of others in our life
  • An envisioning section where we seek spontaneous images and inspiration related to healing
  • consolidation section where we focus on building the power and energy of our images, allowing them to energize and affect our health and healing the greatest degree possible

Read full details


Saturday December 19th, 2.30-5pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat

These 2.5 hour meditation ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques, Toby will guide you into deep meditation flow states that…read full details


Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

About the class: The Winter Solstice is deepest point of Winter in the northern hemisphere, the point of maximum outer darkness & the shortest day.

In Celtic the name of the winter solstice in ‘Alban Arthan’ of ‘The Light of Arthur’. In this case Arthur refers to the Sun God who, at this time of maximum darkness in the year dies and is reborn in the world of nature and within ourselves…read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details


All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty

Tues & Weds 15th, 16th  December, 7.30-8.30pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

Saturday December 19th, 2.30-5pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Tues 29th & Weds 30th Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood


Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology