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Enlightened love and loving Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Primal Spirituality

From coping to thriving: The path of conscious manhood

W

Dear Toby,

What is it going to take for men to thrive in their maleness in toady’s world? The article below some practical reflections on this!

In the spirit of  benevolent manhood,

Toby

 

From coping to thriving: The path of conscious manhood

What (or where) is the path of men in today’s world?
We are all aware of the women’s movement, it’s called feminism. If you are a woman and want to explore ways of feeling more liberated and powerful, then its quite easy to find places, forums, reading around your female identity that can help you. If I then ask you ‘What is the men’s movement called?’ It is likely that you’d have to pause for a moment. Then you’d realize that there really isn’t a well-known ‘men’s movement’ whose purpose within culture is to support men. the reality is that the ‘men’s movement’ is about 30-40 years behind the women’s. This is important, because if you are a man it means that it is far more difficult to find places where you can explore your masculinity and struggles as a man. Whether they are aware of it or not, many men find themselves isolated in their struggles, and deeply confused about how to even talk about it, let alone handle it with confidence.

What is male liberation?
One helpful definition of feminism (following Ken Wilber) is ‘the liberation of women from unconscious roles’. Women can choose to be housewives, mothers, carer’s, but now they can choose to have careers, go boxing, be loud and assertive. They are (ideally) no longer bound unconsciously by traditional roles, and make their choices consciously.
The thing about this is that men have many unconscious roles too; the provider, the warrior, the strong stoic one, the silent type, the bad boy, the good boy, the ‘alpha’ male, the ‘beta’ male. The list goes on. The fact is that if you’re a guy it’s likely that:

  • You are trapped in a number of unconscious roles that you aren’t aware of
  • Its difficult to discover what they are because no one is talking about it much
  • You are suffering and struggling in a way that you needn’t because you are trapped in these roles unconsciously
  • Emotions such as guilt or shame are present for you, and your range of emotions that can give you real joy, pleasure and thriving are limited

So then, male liberation is quite simply ‘the liberation of men from their own traditional unconscious roles’. Like with women, this doesn’t mean that you can’t engage in traditional roles such as a provider or warrior, it just means you are doing it consciously, and integrating other non-traditional roles into your male path in a way that enables you to thrive and feel empowered alongside your female friends, lovers and colleagues as they tread their own path of liberation.

Some essential questions
These are either to ask yourself as a man (or to ask your male friends if you are a woman!):

  • What roles as a man am I currently trapped in? And what is the price I am paying?
  • What would my idea of my own path of ‘conscious manhood’ be? How can I start exploring and articulating it?
  • To whom do I (or could I) go to for support in my path of male liberation and thriving?
  • What can I do today to get on that path?

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Monday Setember 2nd, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Starting October 5th – The Integral Meditation Program for Coaches, Counsellors and Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and deep wellness

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present

On appreciation, gratitude and impermanence

W
“When you truly know what you have is transient, then you can short-circuit the natural tendency that we all have to take things for granted. This in turn gives us a powerful incentive to appreciate what we have, and make the most of it today.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article is a personal reflection on impermanence, which is frankly one of the most powerful objects of mindfulness ‘in there’!

The 20% early bird offer on the Integral Mindfulness Program has now finished, but you can still get 15% off by signing up this week.
Tuesday and Wednesday meditation class this week are the first a series of six classes on the theme of Zen.
Then on Saturday we re-start the Qi gong workout and meditation session at 9am, and then the monthly Meditation workshop for beginners is at 11am.

In the spirit of  impermanence and appreciation,

Toby

On appreciation, gratitude and impermanence

Impermanence
When I first started meditating consistently in 1994, the first object of focus was on death and impermanence. I was teaching art and design at a school at the time. Every morning I would get up and meditate for twenty minutes on:

  • The certainty of my death and the uncertainty of its time
  • That at death I would travel from my body without any of the physical wealth, property and resources from this life, as well as without my loved ones that I would be leaving behind
  • From this I then focused on the resolution to make best use of the time I had today. To live fully and meaningfully according to my values and highest goals, so that when I die I do so without regrets.

I also imagined the death process, and observed how, if my breathing stopped at any moment, then my life would have about two minutes left to run. I (and you) hold onto life by a thin thread! This gave rise to a very ‘clean’ focused mind where I was able to drop many smaller concerns, and spend most of my day attending to what is important.

Bringing it home 
The purpose of meditating in this way is to bring our mind into a fuller recognition of our reality; we are living in a state of continuous impermanence, and we have limited time to achieve our potential in the world; to love, to contribute, to participate, to engage powerfully and benevolently.
Recently two people important to me died unexpectedly. A very good friend of my family, Hugh Buck died while leading a wildlife trip in Morocco. With his passing a whole section of my childhood memories in Asia moves into the context of someone who will never return (as the person he was in this life). Two weeks ago a good friend of mine and mentor in the recent phase of my own coaching development, Mark Hemstedt died suddenly and unexpectedly while leading a training program in KL.
While we would not wish these things to happen, the reality is they do sometimes, and sooner or later it will happen to us. Knowing that viscerally helps us make use of the time we have authentically.

Impermanence and gratitude
Mainstream mindfulness has almost become ubiquitous with gratitude practice. One way to really change the context and power of your gratitude is to combine it with a conscious awareness of impermanence. When you know what you have is transient, then you can short-circuit the natural tendency that we all have to take things for granted. This in turn gives us a powerful incentive to appreciate what we have, and make the most of it today.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday 10th August, 2-5.30pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 24th August, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Ten essential mindfulness practices

Dear Integral Meditators,

Mindfulness is, in essence the art of attention training. Looked at this way there are many, many ways of paying attention, and so there are a huge variety of mindfulness practices. The list below lists ten ‘mindful domains’, each of which play an important part in a truly integral mindfulness practice.

If you enjoy the article, then do have a look at the new Integral Mindfulness Program, which explores many of these practices in depth!

In the spirit of mindful wellbeing,

Toby

The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors and Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and deep wellnessOverview: This is a six-session dynamic mindfulness program designed for:

  • Those looking for an engaged, practical mindfulness course designed to build resilience, effectiveness and wellness in the face of work and life challenges
  • Trainers, coaches and therapists looking to integrate mindfulness into their own professional practice with clients
  • People who have been through basic conventional mindfulness training programs and are looking for the next level of practice and performance

Early bird offer: Get 20% off if you sign up before end Monday August 19th. Click here for full details

Ten essential mindfulness meditation practices

Mindfulness is, in essence the art of attention training. Looked at this way there are many, many ways of paying attention, and so there are a huge variety of mindfulness practices. The list below lists ten ‘mindful domains’, each of which play an important part in a truly integral mindfulness practice

  1. Grounding your attention in your body, sense and breathing awareness – The quickest route to basic psychological sanity and stability is through the senses. We should be aiming to develop ‘mountain like stability’ on our body and senses, which enables us to feel centred and stable even in the biggest life storms.
  2. Practicing the non-emergency nature of the present moment – Most situations in our life are not an emergency, yet we spend much of our life in minor (or major) crisis-mode. Recognising present safety and relaxing properly enables us to enjoy our life, and when it does arise to engage risk and danger wisely and intelligently.

With practice 1& 2 solid, we can then commit to increasing your range of functional states and perspectives through:

  1. Cultivating effective focus and concentration – Specifically with integral mindfulness we look to develop high quality ‘mindful flow states’, both in and out of meditation. These flow states are a combination of relaxation and focus, and act as the basis for sustainable, effective concentration
  2. Witnessing, observing, listening, being present – We should be continually stepping back and improving our capacity to observe what is going on within our field of awareness as an observer; being present, witnessing and nothing more.
  3. Committing to be aware – Number five is simply an ongoing commitment to turn and face ourselves, and notice what is going on within. It means consistently turning the light of our awareness inside with curiosity, courage, care
  4. Developing your emotional intelligence – Specifically: Being comfortable feeling emotions ( (both positive and negative), cultivating engaged detachment (the capacity to feel emotions fully and engage with them deeply without being consumed or victimised by them). Cultivating acceptance, appreciation, joy and benevolence/caring as our baseline emotional states. Getting to know the emotions we currently label as ‘negative’ well enough to find and leverage upon their value.
  5. Cognitive intelligence – The skills of thinking less in terms of quantity, thinking better in terms of quality. Also combining ‘positive thinking’ and attention to the good with critical thinking and effective risk assessment.
  6. Intentionality and responsibility – Living our life deliberately and ‘on purpose’. Expanding the depth and range of our intention and motivations for our actions. Setting intention before our actions, so that our actions are aligned with our highest intentions.
  7. Developing your capacity for creative awareness that accesses the non-linear, unconscious, intuitive and imaginative aspects of our potential.
  8. Having an enlightenment practice – A commitment to ongoing insight into the formless, timeless causal dimension of existence. Learning to rest our attention in it and gradually focus our fundamental sense of identity there.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday 10th August, 2-5.30pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 24th August, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness One Minute Mindfulness

Mindful of: Your tone of voice 

M
Dear Integral Meditators,

So much of our life is spent communicating, it’s definitely worthwhile investing out time, attention and intelligence to ´craft’ your messages and their tones wisely and benevolently. This weeks article explores some practical ways of doing this!

Final reminder of this Saturdays  Practical introduction to Qi gong workshop, 9.30am-1pm, Tuesday meditation classes re-start next week 😉

In the spirit of tone,

Toby

Mindful of: Your tone of voice 

I have recently come to the end of a three week holiday where we have been travelling in France, Spain and England. As you probably know, holidays can be fun and relaxing, but they can also be quite stressful, as the different personalities of all those traveling run up against each other!
One of the ways that I have focused on mindfulness practice as I have been traveling is to be aware of the tone of my voice as I communicate. I have found this to be a super useful way of managing my own moods, and saying what I want to say in a way that is helpful to my fellow travellers.
Speaking is not just what you say, it’s the way that you say it. Even with very basic words such as ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ here are a huge variety of tones with which you say it that completely change the message and mood.
So, as a mindfulness practice tone of voice can be thought of as consisting of two questions:

  1. ‘What do I want to say?’
  2. ´What is the best way to say what I want to say?’

The first question is about the basic message. The second is about the delivery; what is the tone of voice and way of wording your message that will maximise the chance of it being effective, and giving the best result for everyone concerned? If you spend a few moments before you speak on these two questions, then it’s surprising the changes that you can make for the better.
So much of our life is spent communicating, it’s definitely worthwhile investing out time, attention and intelligence to ´craft’ your messages and their tones wisely and benevolently.

Here are two other areas to pay attention to around tone:
Your tone tells you your mood– Quite often we are not fully aware of our mood or emotional state until we say something, and our tone tells us a lot about what we are feeling. So simply listening to your tone of voice can be a very interesting and useful thing to pay attention to.
Increase your range of positive tones -Get to know what a range of positive tones sound like and practice them. For example, an assertive tone (as opposed to aggressive), loving/caring, light (as opposed to heavy), serious, inquisitive, sincere, calm, or joyful. Try and develop the range of tones that you have available to use consciously.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday 10th August, 2-5.30pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 24th August, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Integral Awareness Meditation techniques Mindfulness Presence and being present

Mindful with your handphone – Four ways

B
Dear Integral Meditators,

If you can be mindful with your handphone, then for most people that means a lot of time each day being mindful! The article below explores how…

In the spirit of being mindful with your mobile,

Toby

PS: Last Wednesday evening class this evening until August, on the subject of How to drop your problems.

Mindful with your handphone – Four ways

I was talking with a colleague this morning about how difficult it is to manage stress with a handphone. Messages coming in, social media, games, it can be so difficult not to get stressed when your always reaching for your phone at the first sign of anxiety or boredom. With this in mind here are four simple ways to use your handphone to become more mindful:

  1. Notice it as a physical object – Rather than opening the screen, use your phone to come to your senses by noticing its colour, its weight and feel in your hand, it’s texture and the little scratches. Decompress your mental stress by coming to your senses.
  2. Message 15% slower – Normally we text fast, making mistakes as we go along, and holding a lot of unnecessary tension in our face and body. Relax your body and face, and type a little slower. If you do this then texting will become more relaxing. You’ll probably get just as many done as there will be fewer typos, and the content you write will be better!
  3. Use it to measure your anxiety – if you notice yourself reaching for your phone impulsively and often, it’s likely due to underlying anxiety or stress. Notice when this is happening and, instead of going on screen, spend a few breaths just looking after your anxiety and extending care and awareness to yourself.
  4. Ask yourself “What good can I do with my phone?” – Use your phone on purpose; text to bring happiness to others, to develop a skill (egg: learn a language), educate yourself, to journal on the way back from work. There are many meaningful and fulfilling ways you can use your phone to create a better life for yourself and others, it begins by asking yourself this question. Go for it!

Enjoy being mindful with your phone!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Concentration Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Mindful Breathing Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Primal Spirituality spiritual intelligence

Still water that moves – Meditation for greater creativity

W
After we learn to still our mind, we then move onto another stage in meditation where we experience a heightened state of creativity. It becomes like “Still water that moves, and moving water that is still”.
Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores how to access deeper creativity through meditation, and explains a simple technique that you can start practicing with. The Tuesday and Wednesday evening classes will be on this subject, so if you want to practice, do come down! Schedule of sessions is beneath the article.In the spirit of deeper creativity,

Toby

Still water that moves – Meditation for greater creativity

One of my favourite expressions from Ajahn Chah is where he refers to the achievement of a state in meditation where our mind becomes like “Still water that moves, and moving water that is still”. Part of what this means is that, after we learn to still our mind, we then move onto another stage in meditation where we experience a heightened state of creativity. In this state our mind is still, and yet on a subtle level we experience flashes of creative inspiration from our intuitive consciousness. Our mind moves in a creative way, whilst at the same time being still and quiet. This is a paradoxical state of mind, as normally we think of our mind as either still or moving. This deeper state involves both.
Below is a simple meditation that you can use as a way of moving into stillness, and then going beyond it to a state of heightened creativity.

  1. Centring and focusing – Imagine a flame of light about 6-8cms high right in the centre of your chest, at the level of your heart. As you breathe in, breathe your attention into that flame in the centre of your body, as you breathe out, relax your body-mind from that centre. Build relaxed concentration in this way.
  2. Decompressing tension – As you continue to breathe, you will notice different emotions, tensions and thoughts from the day coming up. Simply acknowledge these and keep focused by using the flame at your heart. It may take a while for your body-mind to settle, be patient.
  3. Moving into stillness – Gradually move into stillness, get accustomed to the feeling of it.
  4. Inviting creativity – After a while you may notice that, within the stillness there are deeper, intuitive and creative movements in your mind. These movements are different from the normal distractions or discursive thoughts. Pay attention to them and what they might be showing you. If you like you can take a particular topic and let your intuitive mind explore it.

This is a really simple way of opening a door in your consciousness to your own deeper creativity and inspiration. It also works perfectly well as a meditation to calm your body, mind and heart.
Enjoy exploring!

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Four mindful questions, four times a year

B
Dear Integral Meditators,

Asking questions to yourself mindfully and reflectively, without hurrying, can be a very useful way of resetting your energy, and moving forward with greater clarity and purpose. The article below outlines four that I ask strategically during the year.

In the spirit of thoughtful questions,
Toby

Four mindful questions, four times a year

These are four questions that I ask myself, and invite you to ask yourself four times a year. I do it at the quarter points of the year, which is to say the Winter and Summer solstices in December and July, and the Equinoxes in March and September.
Two of the questions are backward looking, over the previous 2-3months, and the other two are forward looking, toward the coming 2-3months.
I find that asking these questions to myself mindfully and reflectively, without hurrying, is a very useful way of resetting my energy, and moving forward with greater clarity and purpose. Here they are:

  • What is it that I can appreciate and have enjoyed the most about the last few months?
  • What are the wounds or burdens that I have been carrying that I am ready to put down or release?
  • What am I ready to give birth to and/or manifest in my life right now?
  • If I were to pick one, maximum two goals that were my absolute priority to achieve/manifest over the next few months, what would it/they be?

 

Introducing Rainstorm Sleepwave – Psychoacoustic soundscape to fall and stay asleep. 20%off until June 22nd!

As most of us are well aware, the quantity and quality of our sleep plays a huge role in our mental, physiological, emotional, and relational well-being.
Rainstorm Sleepwave can be used to:

  • fall asleep quickly
  • return to sleep after awakening
  • sleep more deeply
  • take a power nap
  • recover more quickly from jet lag
  • meditate deeply

Learn More and Listen to the Sample

 

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Tuesday/Wednesday 18th&19th June – Summer Solstice balancing and renewing meditation

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 15th June, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday 22nd June, 2-5pm – Going From Over-whelmed to Over-well: Meditation for Quietening the Mind – a three hour workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Concentration Life-fullness mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness One Minute Mindfulness Presence and being present

Mindful of your intensity level

E
“By being mindful of our intensity level we can avoid burning out thought long term over-exertion, and also avoid unnecessary under-productivity. It’s an easy way to avoid extremes and hit your ‘sweet spot’ in terms of both quality of life and productivity!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What is your habitual ‘speed and intensity level’? This weeks article explores how you can start to set the pace that serves you in your life!

In the spirit of balanced intensity,

Toby

 

Mindful of your intensity level

Think about your pace and intensity in life as having four speeds:

  1. 1-2 – Sleep or complete relaxation
  2. 3-4 – Low effort mode, doing just enough
  3. 5-6 – Flow state, a balance of focused effort and relaxation
  4. 7-10 – High intensity effort

Take a moment to reflect on which ‘speeds’ you tend to be in for much of your day. As you do so you might start to recognise that you tend to favour one or two speeds, and not the other two. Ideally as mindfulness practitioners, we should be looking to have each of these levels of intensity available to us, and use them consciously according to our need.
So, for example much of the productive part of our day would be at the ‘flow-state’ level of 5-6 on the scale; a balance of focused relaxation. This level enables us to get work done at a pace that is sustainable over a period of time, without getting exhausted or burned out.
Occasionally we might peak up to a high intensity 7-10 when we really want to get something done in a faster way (eg: in an emergency), but then after we would need to consciously dip back down to level 2 (3-4 intensity) for a while in order to restore our energy level. Of course we would be going down to level 1 by getting enough sleep and absolute rest.
The point about this four level structure of intensity is that, if we have it in mind we can then start to mindfully manage our effort and energy during the day. We avoid burning out thought long term over-exertion, and also avoid unnecessary under-productivity. It’s an easy way to avoid extremes and hit your ‘sweet spot’ in terms of both quality of life and productivity!
A useful question to ask ourselves is ‘How much effort and intensity do I need to compete this task?’ Quite often I find that its slightly less than I think. If I relax a little and bring just enough intensity to the task, that brings me to the optimal level of effort.

Article © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia 

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 1st, 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 15th June, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Tuesday/Wednesday 18th&19th June – Summer Solstice balancing and renewing meditation

Saturday 22nd June, 2-5pm – Going From Over-whelmed to Over-well: Meditation for Quietening the Mind – a three hour workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present spiritual intelligence Uncategorized

Compassionate listening

E
‘Stilling the mind opens a space for us to listen to our inner wisdom, which is always there, but often hidden by the noise’

Dear Toby,

This weeks article is on how to mindfully listen a bit better, to ourselves and others.

In the spirit of  listening,

Toby

Compassionate listening 

There is an old definition of meditation that is quite useful to consider:

“Prayer is talking to God, meditation is listening to God”.

If our mind is talking to itself all the time, how are we going to be able to listen to the intuitive wisdom, or the “still small voice” of our inner self as it offers us advice and support and in our life’s journey? Listening in a reflective, meditative manner is important for this reason. It is also important as a practise for helping us to develop our compassionate heart with other people. If, when we are with others, we consciously quieten our mind and really attend to what they are saying, often they will notice and appreciate what we are doing for them.
There is a book by Michael Ende called “Momo” that is about this power of listening. Momo is a little girl who is able to heal all those who come to her simply by deeply and attentively listening to the stories that they tell her about their life.
The second aspect of really listening to people is that we see more clearly where they are coming from, and so be much more likely to act in ways that are appropriate and helpful to both them and us. So, when you are with others, try and see your listening to them as a meditation, it will help both them and you!
I want to end this article by outlining three ways NOT to listen that I had drummed into me during my Tibetan Buddhist training, using the anlalogy of a pot:

Don’t be like an upturned pot
An upturned pot cannot receive any liquid into itself. Similarly, if we are not really listening (to ourself or others), we are like an upturned pot; nothing is going in!
Don’t be like a leaky pot
A pot with a leak cannot not hold what it liquid, it is useless. If we are not really paying attention, even if we hear what is being said, it simply “goes in one ear and out of the other” so to speak!
Don’t be like a bad smelling pot
You pour fresh juice into a dirty and bad smelling pot the fresh liquid becomes contaminated instantly. Similarly, if we are listening to someone, and there is a continuous negative inner commentary going on in our mind, this poisons everything that we are hearing. As George Michael once said (was it the title of one of his albums?) “Listen without prejudice”

Article © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia 

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 1st, 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 15th June, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Tuesday/Wednesday 18th&19th June – Summer Solstice balancing and renewing meditation

Saturday 22nd June, 2-5pm – Going From Over-whelmed to Over-well: Meditation for Quietening the Mind – a three hour workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

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Mindful thinking: 15% less, 15% better

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“One of the basic principles of integral mindfulness is to emphasize quality over quantity, with the recognition that, if you slow down enough to do things properly, the actual quantity of things that you get done is often more.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

I’ve been going through a busy time at work and with a house move last few weeks. In the article below I share a method I’ve been using to help deal with the stress!
The Tuesday and Wednesday evening meditation classes will be on the subject ‘How to meditate on Non-doing’, if you fancy coming along your welcome!

Classes and workshops for June are beneath the article.

In the spirit of thinking better,

Toby

Mindful thinking: 15% less, 15% better

One of the basic principles of integral mindfulness is to emphasize quality over quantity, with the recognition that also, if you slow down enough to do things properly, the quantity of things that you get done is often more.
With regard to thinking, one of the mindful principles that I have been applying is to try and think 15% less in terms of volume of thoughts, and then make the actual quality of my thoughts 15% better. I have found that by deliberately slowing my mind in this way I:

  • Become a lot more conscious and deliberate about what I think and don’t think
  • I have time to notice thought patterns that are repeating themselves and making me feel negative. I can make the choice simply to stop these thoughts, because I am going slow enough to see them
  • The quality of my thoughts kind of naturally improves from the ‘thinking slower’ part. The more consciously I think, the easier it is to choose patterns of thinking that are effective, and that ‘frame’ what I am experiencing in a constructive way

In the last few weeks, as well as being busy at work, I have been moving house, with all the logistical and emotional stress that that entails. With so many things to do, it is super easy for the speed of my mind to accelerate to a very stressful speed due to the overstimulation. So I have been practicing the ‘15%’ technique above, dealing with the thoughts that come up by deliberately not over-hurrying, and focusing on quality of thought, rather than quantity.

This week you might like to try it, see how it can help you navigate your thoughts and life-challenges more effectively!

Related article: Mental framing – Sculpting your view of life

Article © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia 

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 1st, 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Tuesday/Wednesday 18th&19th June – Summer Solstice balancing and renewing meditation
FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 15th June, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever
Saturday 22nd June, 2-5pm – Going From Over-whelmed to Over-well: Meditation for Quietening the Mind – a three hour workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology