Tag: stress transformation

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creative imagery Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation techniques Presence and being present Primal Spirituality Stress Transformation Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

The seagull whirlpool & other stress transformations

“You are the seagull above the whirlpool of your life. See yourself centred, relaxed, skilfully adapting to the wind changes, accepting them, working with them moment to moment. You are entirely at home”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article offers an image for experiencing mindful stress transformation that really struck me. 
 
If you enjoy the article, & would like to shift your own ability to transform your stress tangibly, then do check out my Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Workshop on this Saturday 16th & then 23rd of May.
 
Also the Wednesday & Saturday Inner smile meditations are also focused on energy and emotional stress transformation, this week we look at moving from fear to fear & stress to gentleness/calm.
 
In the spirit of seagulls, 

 Toby


The seagull whirlpool & other stress transformations
 
At the end of 2014 I wrote an article called ‘The stability of uncertainty’. In it I write about my experience of working with high degrees of uncertainty, stress and change, and learning to quietly thrive on it rather than be oppressed by it. It was a real ‘best of times, worst of times’ period in my life, when I was learning that uncertainty can be transformed and thrived upon if it can be accepted. After awareness, all stress transformation practice begins with acceptance. It is the sure footing that you build in order to then gain the confidence to work with pressure dynamically. Looking back and reading that article, I’m struck by how much of it I still agree with, and find relevant to my own process right now, at this later stage in my life and growth.
 
On the original article post I noticed that I had used a picture of two seagulls circling above a whirlpool. Looking at it now, I am struck by what a great image this is for becoming a stress transformer. If you imagine you are one of those seagulls. Above the whirlpool there will be strong, fast changing winds, the birds have to adapt moment to moment. Below is a whirlpool that if they get caught up in it would pull them under the ocean. But for a gull, despite all the chaotic energy around them, this feels like home. In fact, this IS their home, their native environment. They are able to stay centred in their bodies, making skilful adjustments to their wings, rejoicing in their capability, enjoying the dance. Compared to the forces around them, they are tiny, like small specks, but they are not thinking about their size or significance, they are busy enjoying being who and what they are, knowing that they can survive, thrive and make their living amidst the turbulence.
Thinking about one of the really big gulls, the albatross, it can go out flying over the open ocean for 6 months at a time, which is really quite something!
 
You are the seagull above the whirlpool of your life
 
Imagine yourself now as the seagull above the whirlpool of your life. All of the chaos, the turbulence, the uncertainty, the contending forces in your life are like the whirlpool below you, and the wind and weather around you. See yourself centred in your body, relaxed, skilfully adapting to the wind changes, accepting them, working with them moment to moment. You don’t know exactly what comes next, but you deeply trust in your capability to meet and adapt to it. Constantly moving and adapting, you feel stable in this environment, like it is a home. In the sky and above the whirlpool you live, confident in your ability to find what you need to survive, and able to enjoy what comes your way in the moment. You have made tension your friend, and so you feel free, relaxed, the sovereign of your world. You are connected to your natural intelligence and dignity.
Bring to mind a challenge you are facing in your life right now. Feel the fear, anxiety, overwhelm, or whatever else you feel around it. Now be the seagull.
 
 
Related reading: Rats, meadows, & the World doing Itself (Stress tolerance & transformation)
The stability of uncertainty

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Ongoing on Wednesdays – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Ongoing on Saturdays – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Saturday 16th & 23rd May, 3.30-5pm on both days – Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Workshop
 

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

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A Mind of Ease Beginners mind, resilient body creative imagery Energy Meditation Inner smile & Earth healing Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Primal Spirituality Zen Meditation

Rats, meadows, & the World doing Itself (Stress tolerance & transformation)

“I am the Wolrd doing Itself”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article offers three of my favourite perceptual shifts to help you manage & expand into the stress of your life challenges.
 
If you enjoy the article, & would like to shift your own ability to transform your stress tangibly, then do check out my Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Workshop on Saturday 16th & 23rd of May.
 
Also the Wednesday & Saturday Inner smile meditations are also focused on energy and emotional stress transformation, you might enjoy these as well!
 
In the spirit of transformation, 

 Toby


Rats, meadows, & the World doing Itself (Stress tolerance & transformation)
 
Undergoing an expansion of capacity more gently
 
These last few weeks I have been going through a bit of a life change. I’ve felt an urge to take on a few new projects, and the combination of them, in tandem with my existing commitments has left me feeling somewhat dis-oriented and overwhelmed. The interesting thing about the overwhelm in this case is that I don’t feel ‘overwhelmed by the overwhelm’. What I mean by this is that, previously in a similar situation I would be incapacitated by the overwhelm, and then have to cut back on what I am doing in order to get back into balance. In this situation however, I feel more like what I am doing is something that I can do, and I just need to figure out how to relax into it, and my capacity will expand to the size of the challenge.
 
How to meditate when your mind is too busy, and you feel overwhelmed
 
I did a coaching session with a client last week, where he had been facing a similar challenge to me; too many things going on on all fronts. As he sat down to meditate, his mind just would not settle; things he had to do kept jumping into his mind. He was sometimes left feeling that he may as well have not meditated!
 
The positions we explored to help make his meditation time more productive were:

  1. Noticing – That when we feel over-busy, our field of awareness can feel small, like we are stuck in our head. In our head are a bunch of ‘rats in a bag’ all bumping into each other and creating claustrophobia and friction.
  2. Expanding – I suggested that, rather than trying to control his thoughts in this ‘small-mind’ environment, he could try making his awareness big. I mentioned the Zen expression ‘If you want to control your cow or your sheep, put it in a big meadow. To quote from a previous article on the subject: “When sitting with the thoughts in your mind, rather than trying to control them, stop them or ‘fix’ them, you simply make your mind and awareness bigger, like a large open meadow …. In such an environment an animal will tend to simply wonder off, find its place in the field and be content. So, when you make your awareness big, you can sit there watching the thoughts without being so bothered by them, and they in turn tend to gradually return to equilibrium, without you having to work that hard to control or fix them.”
  3. I am the Word doing Itself – In addition to making our mind ‘big’ in this way, I suggested a non-dual perceptual shift. Rather than seeing himself as in the world, struggling to make his way amongst all of the busyness and activity, he should see himself as the ‘World doing Itself’. This perceptual shift means expanding your sense of your body-mind to be the Whole World, way beyond just your small body and individual life. Everything around you is you, you are the World, and the World is doing itself.

 
This third position keeps your awareness big, and all your little struggles feel correspondingly much more manageable. Because everything feels less stressful and more manageable, dealing with challenges in your life, on multiple-levels becomes much more manageable. We discover that we can take on more, whilst using less energy, and as a result we find our overall capacity increases.
 
My client liked these three positions, and we did a meditation on them before concluding. Of course, these three positions are equally useful for me in my life, as I expand into the next chapter and explore the limits of my own capacity!
 
Related reading: A bag of rats & a big meadow (tactics or strategy?)
The world as an organism
Four Mindful Images for Stress Transformation

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Ongoing on Wednesdays – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

Ongoing on Saturdays – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series

Saturday 16th & 23rd May, 3.30-5pm on both days – Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Workshop
 

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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A Mind of Ease Beginners mind, resilient body Energy Meditation Integral Meditation Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Breathing Mindful Resilience Qi gong

Stress resilience through Cauldron breathing – Keeping your belly energy soft

“If we don’t keep moving our belly energy, the stress can really get stuck, becoming a permanent, or semi-permanent feature of the way we are”

Dear Toby, 

Awareness of energy, breathing and movement are all keys to building a multi-dimensional resilience practice. The article below outlines a classic qi gong breathing technique that I recommend you make a regular part of your routine!

If you enjoy it, then do have a look at the Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels & for Self-Healing workshop that I will be doing this Saturday morning. Its a practical introduction to next level sustainable energy.


In the spirit of the cauldron,

Toby

Stress resilience through Cauldron breathing – Keeping your belly energy soft
 
Much of the stress, and the resistance to stress that we accumulate as we go through our day works its way down to our abdomen. If we are stressed, we can lose our appetite, or get indigestion. We talk about having a ‘knot’ in our stomach, or ‘butterflies in our tummy’. If we don’t keep moving our belly energy, the stress can really get stuck, becoming a permanent, or semi-permanent feature of the way we are. This pattern then leads short- and medium-term stress to become longer term, chronic stress.
 
Belly breathing in Qi gong, and reverse belly breathing are techniques of breathing that you can turn into habits, that keep the energy in the belly moving. If your abdomen gets stressed, the breathing will help to gently shift the stress out. It works basically as a massaging mechanism for the abdominal organs. It can also be practised as a breathing meditation technique, where you can build depth of meditation at the same time as doing a deeper de-stress.
 
Here are the basic stages of the practice, you can do it as a gentle, yin breathing practice, or as a more yang deep-breathing practice according to preference:
 
Stage 1: Practice breathing nose to belly: Breathe in through the nose, activate your diaphragm, sucking the air down into the bottom of your lungs. If you do this, you will notice your belly moving out a bit as you inhale. The diaphragm pushes down on the internal organs below it, creating a gentle squeeze, as it moves down, and release as you exhale. This squeeze and release creates a massage effect, helping the belly to release any tension that it may be holding onto.
 
Stage 2: To increase the massage, squeeze the muscles in your perineum to about 25-35% power as you inhale. This firms up the pelvic floor, so that as the pressure comes down from the diaphragm, it is sustained because the pelvic floor holds its ground below. If you do this you will feel a greater pressure build up in the belly as you inhale, and a greater release as you exhale. This gives a more powerful massage to the inner organs as you breathe. As you breathe out, relax the muscles in the pelvic floor.
 
Stage 3: As you inhale, gently tense the muscles in the front of the abdominal wall, so that the belly cannot move outwards. If you do this, you will feel a greater pressure in the belly; diaphragm moves down, pelvic floor holds its position, and now the belly keeps position, so the pressure has no where to go. Release the belly muscles as you breathe out. This creates a ‘cauldron’ effect in the belly, building pressure and squeeze as you inhale, releasing it as you exhale, helping any stress-knots in the belly to be released, so that energy can keep flowing through it.
 
Optional stage 4: As you do the cauldron breathing from stage 3, imagine an energy ball, about the size of a golf ball sitting behind your belly button, a few centimetres into your abdomen. As you breathe in, feel this ball filling with light and energy, as you breathe out, feel that light and energy expanding out from your belly into the rest of your abdomen,  body and aura, dispersing stress and energy blocks as it moves outwards.
 
Doing a few of these breaths when you are stressed can really help. It is a great general health practice. If you create a habit of it, you will be helping your body to help you regulate your stress, and build energetic resilience for a lifetime.
 
Related reading: Functional breathing
Reverse abdominal breathing

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

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Biographical creative imagery Energy Meditation Enlightened love and loving Enlightened service Inner vision Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Stress Transformation

How did I get through tough times as a Monk?

“Resilient endurance in the face of the ongoing difficulties is more a matter of imaginative compassion than simply ‘getting tougher’”

Dear Toby, 

This week’s article explores how I used a particular meditation technique to work with difficulties when I was a monk. If you enjoy it, we will be focusing upon it as a part of this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class. 


In the spirit of compassionate imagination,

Toby


How did I get through tough times as a Monk?
 
During my time as a Buddhist monk, there were plenty of times when I felt I had my back against the wall.

  • Lack of financial & material resources was always a threat
  • Being an unknown element in a mainstream society mean that not all attention was good attention by any means
  • The organization that I worked for was often understaffed in terms of manpower, and so there was often a sense of having to do several different (unpaid) jobs at the same time
  • The path of meditation itself threw up many things to be processed as I moved from one level to the next.

There was a particular set of meditation instructions called ‘Lojong’, or ‘instructions for training the mind’ which was particularly useful at such times. I would even go as far as to say it was my main practice, in the sense of the one that I derived the most value from. I’ll describe below a simple process that I would follow in meditation that really captures the essence of it. For the sake of an example, let’s imagine that the suffering I am contemplating is the heat and discomfort of being a monk in Singapore, where it is very hot and humid, and I was often living in placed without air-conditioning.
 
A visual tool
These meditations were often done with a jewel of enlightenment visualized at my heart. The jewel would be made of light and have the essence of my enlightened nature.
 
“May all my future sufferings ripen upon me now”
This first position involved contemplating the suffering or confusion that I was going through, and then, in the spirit of compassion say something like:
 
“May all my future suffering of this kind ripen upon me right now”
 
I would then imagine all the future suffering, to use the example all the discomfort and dizziness of living with too much heat, gathering around me as dark light and smoke. It them ‘ripened upon me now’ by dissolving into the ‘jewel of enlightenment’ at my heart, eventually disappearing. I would then strongly think that all my future suffering regarding heat had already been endured, and that I was free from it, relaxing into the joy of that recognition.
So, of course I was still sitting in the heat of Singapore, and would continue to do so. But the effect of the meditation, at least for a while is that my mental and emotional pain around the heat would reduce dramatically, and I could continue on in a state of relative peace and calm.
 
“May the sufferings of others ripen upon me now”
A further development of this was reflecting upon the fact that my suffering was only one persons’, and that there were many other living beings experiencing the same and worse regarding discomfort and pain around heat/temperature. So then reflecting upon this compassionately I would contemplate “May the sufferings of heat of all living beings ripen upon me now!”
I would then imagine this pain & suffering gathering around me like a cloud of dark, hot(!) smoke, and see it then dissolving into the jewel of enlightenment at my heart, eventually disappearing.  I would then meditate strongly on the thought that all those suffering from heat in different ways had been liberated, and were now free and happy. I took this joyful recognition as an object of meditation for a few minutes.
 
The purpose of doing this meditation was not to be masochistic, rather it was, and is to:

  • Develop resilient endurance in the face of the ongoing difficulties
  • Strengthen compassion and reduce unhealthy self-obsession
  • Find joy in the process of releasing ourself and others from pain and sufferings

Reading the sequence through initially may leave you thinking “Eeeuw, no way!” but doing the practice a few times, we start to see how effective it is at reducing our pain and suffering in the moment, and finding ways to get through challenging times relatively unscathed. It certainly was and is a method I’ve found most useful in my own path.
 
Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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creative imagery Inner vision Insight Meditation Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Stress Transformation

Re-working your ego by expanding your self-concept (AKA: Van Halen therapy)

“In a situation where your self-concept doesn’t believe you can meet & solve a challenge, you can do one of two things. You can give up, or you can change your idea of yourself, making it one that can work with what is presenting”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article explores how to work mindfully with your ego & self concept in a creative, empowered way. If you enjoy it, then you are invited to come along to the Tuesday or Wednesday meditation class, where we will be focusing on this subject. 

A couple of dates for your diary, in addition to the Two day meditation retreat on Oct 28-29th:

In the spirit of turning subjects into objects,

Toby 

Re-working your ego by expanding your self-concept (AKA: Van Halen therapy)
 
The Ego is
One of the definitions that I like for the ego is simply ‘the unifying centre of awareness’ of a person. It is the self-sense that sits in the middle of you as you navigate your daily experiences. Ego is not a positive or negative term, but a neutral one. However, we can say that a person has a strong or functional ego, which is a good thing, or a weak, dysfunctional ego which is not a good thing. Our ego also operates according to ethical values, or a lack of ethical values, and this distinction also makes an ego a relatively ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ thing. These values can be held consciously or unconsciously by the ego in question.
 
Your self-concept is
Your idea of who you are. It is the mental template that you have built up over your life about:

  • The ‘type’ of person you are
  • What is possible & not possible for you
  • The story of how you became who you are

…and so on. Your self-concept generally creates a sense of what you can and can’t do in life, what you like and don’t like. When you are faced with a challenge, your ability to deal with that problem is intimately related to your self-concept. Your self-concept projects onto the situation what it thinks and believes. In a situation where your self-concept doesn’t believe you can meet and solve a challenge, you can do one of two things:

  • You can give up, or
  • You can change your idea of yourself, making it one that can work with what is presenting

 
Relating imaginatively to a new idea of yourself
I remember one time when I was feeling particularly overwhelmed by always having to ‘put myself out there’ as a creative and as a small business owner. I really felt out of my comfort zone. It felt alien to my idea of myself, it felt uncomfortable and exhausting. I had a dream one night of being with Daid Lee Roth (ex-lead singer of Van Halen). I was hanging out with him on the void-deck of an HDB block of flats in Singapore. Preparations were underway for a concert, and after chatting enthusiastically to me for a short while, DL-R just got up on stage with his band and did the concert, singing and dancing around half-naked, and just letting go and enjoying himself with the small group of people that was there.
I woke up feeling light, energised, and encouraged. In the subsequent days, week’s, and still to this day (the dream was years ago) I often think of this dream, and imagine myself being like David L-R, just dancing though my life, meeting what is there with enthusiasm, spontaneity, and not being afraid of a bit of exhibitionism.
This idea, and working with it imaginatively really changed my self-concept, and consequently my sense of what is possible, what can energise me not drain me, and so on. In short, I re-worked my ego using a new image-template.
 
Using this expanded self for inner healing & growth
So, the basic idea is that if you have a psychological block that is holding you back, or you don’t think you care ‘capable’ of achieving something, you create an image or idea of yourself that can, and then start relating to that image.
 
Paths beyond the ego
If you are connected to the Soul level of things, quite often you will find that ideas, images, and happenings occur in your life that you can readily use for this type of work, so pay attention!
The ego is the mental/psychological level of self, so there are a number levels of self beyond ego on the soul and spiritual level of things. However, the ego and self-concept are really ‘lynch-pins’ between the upper and lower levels of self, so we really need to work on making our self-concept a healthy, resilient, wise and fun-loving one!
 
Related reading: Your bright shadow – The one who can do what you can’t

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2023. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  

In case you missed last week’s video: ‘Subjects to objects – How meditation helps you grow to greater degrees of freedom’

Summary: This video discusses two main subjects related to meditation. The first part explores why and how a meditation practice helps individuals grow as individuals. Meditation is described as a process that transforms subjects of consciousness (e.g., body, emotions, ego) into objects of consciousness, leading to reduced identification with these aspects and increased inner freedom…watch full video

Integral Meditation Asia

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A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Breathing Mindful Resilience Qi gong Zen Meditation

Reverse abdominal breathing – Relieving inner stress effectively

“The pattern of reverse abdominal breathing can be combined with the recognition and feeling of stress, thus enabling us to feel confident about releasing tension & stress, even if it feels strong and intractable”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article looks at a traditional Qi gong breathing technique that, as well as the physical health benefits, I also find particularly effective for regulating my psychological & somatic tension. If you enjoy the article then we will be exploring reverse abdominal breathing in this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class, and in the Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat on Saturday. 

In the spirit of in the spirit of positive reversals,

Toby 

Reverse abdominal breathing – Relieving inner stress effectively
 
Reverse abdominal breathing is a traditional form of Qi gong breathing practice that is designed to promote the circulation of qi/life-force in your body, and particularly in your abdominal region. The pressure it creates gives a massaging effect to your abdominal organs which is very good for their (and your) health.
 
Psychological & somatic stress
As well as the physical benefits, R-A breathing can also help you regulate your mental stress effectively. Our mental and emotional stress builds up as a felt-tension in our physical body, that can be quite difficult to release and let go of. The pattern of R-A breathing can be combined with the recognition and feeling of that stress, thus enabling us to feel confident about releasing stress, even if it feels strong and intractable.
 
Reverse abdominal breathing – The practice
 
Step 1: Establishing basic functional breathing
Sitting or standing in a comfortably upright position, relax your shoulders and chest. Breathe in through the nose, extending the air down into your lower lungs. Feel yourself activating your diaphragm as you inhale. As you do this you will feel your belly moving out gently, and then moving back to resting position as you breathe out (breathe out through the nose or mouth). This pattern of breathing is your basic functional breath, enjoy breathing in this way for a short while.
 
Step 2: Contracting the pelvic floor
Now as you breathe in, gently contract the muscles in your pelvic floor, to about 30% of their strength. If you do this, you will notice the downward pressure of the diaphragm and the upward pressure of the pelvic floor creates a gentle squeezing effect on the abdominal organs. Relax the pelvic floor as you exhale. Get used to this pattern of breathing for a few breaths.
 
Step 3: Contracting the abdominal wall
As you breathe in, contract the pelvic floor, and at the same time gently contract the abdomen, so that your belly cannot move out as the pressure builds from the descending diaphragm. You will feel a ‘pressure cooker’ effect on the abdominal organs as you inhale, that is then released as you exhale. This is the reverse abdominal breathing technique. Stay with this for a few breaths, noticing the building & releasing of pressure.
 
Step 4: Combining reverse abdominal breathing with stress release
As you breathe in allow yourself to feel some of your psychological and emotional stress from the day. Feel it to be centring in your belly as the pressure builds, then, as you exhale, feel yourself releasing the stress as you release into your exhalation. You can to this for say 3-6sets of six breaths, taking small pauses in between to relax.
 
At the end it’s a good idea if you have the time to just go back to your basic functional breathing and meditate, enjoying the feeling of release and relaxation that has come from the R-A breathing.
 
Related articles: Functional breathing
Breathing like a wave

Find out about Toby’s Qi gong coaching

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Weds in August/Sept – The Wisdom of Awakening Series: Meditations for developing wisdom around inner-growth, happiness & fulfillment

Saturday July 15th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat
 

Integral Meditation Asia

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A Mind of Ease Concentration Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

On meditation & ‘tantric self-esteem’

“Essentially then, to sit in your own company with ‘tantric self-esteem’ means to relate with feeling of warm friendliness (self-respect) toward yourself, and a confidence in your fundamental efficacy or adequacy to life”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

Why is it so difficult to sit in the present? In my previous article on ‘Making it easier to focus deeply‘ I look at one aspect of this. In the article below I continue that exploration. 
If you enjoy the article, do pop down either live or online to the Tuesday or Wednesday evening meditation class, where we shall be exploring this theme experientially. 

In the spirit of presence,
 
Toby 

On meditation & ‘tantric self-esteem’
 
The problem: To be present means to become more self-aware
One of the challenges that we face with meditation is that it makes us more present, which in turn brings us into a more conscious relationship to ourself and what is going on within ourselves. Of course, that is also the benefit and opportunity of meditation. But, if you don’t have a great relationship to yourself, and if there are things about yourself in the moment (body awareness, thoughts, emotions) that make you uncomfortable, then trying to be more present often becomes the last thing that you want to be! Much more attractive to be lost in thought, distracted, not present.
So, in a sense the art of meditation begins with getting comfortable with yourself in the moment.
 
The characteristic of good quality self-esteem
Who feels comfortable with and by themselves in the moment? One answer to this is someone with healthy self-esteem. What does that mean? Here is a working definition of self-esteem from Nat Branden:
“Despite the abundance of books, studies, workshops and committees devoted to the subject of self-esteem, there is little agreement about what it means. Self-esteem has two essential components:

  • Self-efficacy: Confidence in the ability to cope with life’s challenges. Self-efficacy leads to a sense of control over one’s life.
  • Self-respect: Experience oneself as deserving of happiness, achievement and love. Self-respect makes possible a sense of community with others.

Self-esteem is a self-reinforcing characteristic. When we have confidence in our ability to think and act effectively, we can persevere when faced with difficult challenges. We succeed more often than we fail. We form more nourishing relationships. We expect more of life and of ourselves.
If we lack confidence, we give up easily, fail more often and aspire to less. We get less of what we want.”
Essentially here then, to sit in your own company with self-esteem means to sit with a feeling of warm friendliness (self-respect) toward yourself, and a confidence in your fundamental efficacy or adequacy to life.
 
Tantric self-esteem: Sitting ‘as if’
Tantric practice in meditation is essentially to act ‘as if’. You use your imagination to bring the desired result into the present. In this case we are concerned with self-esteem, so in meditation we sit down and become present to ourself ‘as if we already had healthy functional self-esteem’:

  • As we sit and become present to our body-mind in the moment we extend warm, friendly, respectful feelings to ourself, as if we deserved a healthy degree of basic joy and wellbeing
  • We sit with ourselves as if we were siting with someone we trusted and whose fundamental capability we feel confident in

If we sit in this way, then the present moment, and our awareness of ourselves becomes a comfortable, attractive place to be. It is a place where we feel safe and welcome, as if in the company of a really good friend.
Done in this way, meditation becomes much less effortful because our resistance to the present is much reduced, it’s a place we like to be rather than have a vested interest in avoiding!
 
Practice
You can try it for a few minutes a day, just sitting and breathing with yourself and your tantric self-esteem. If you can familiarize yourself with this feeling and experience, then you will start to notice it becoming a normal part of the way you relate to yourself. This is not just in meditation, but in your daily activities, your way of going, being and interacting with the world.

 © Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 11th February, 9am-12.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

In a sentence: Learn how to work creatively with uncertainty, imperfection and life’s inherent messiness to realize your leadership and self-leadership potential.  Manage stress and anxiety better using mindfulness in combination with the practical philosophy of Wabi-Sabi.

Wabi-Sabi is one of the definitive aesthetic movements to emerge from Japan. With origins starting in the early 15th Century and influenced from Zen Buddhism, Wabi-Sabi became an aesthetic found in the arts and crafts such as ceramic, flower arranging and interior design. It also became a practical philosophy and approach to life. Principle aspects of Wabi-Sabi include:

  • An appreciation of the beauty of the impermanent, the imperfect and incomplete
  • A recognition of the value of humility
  • A willingness to engage with the unconventional

Mindfulness is the art of attention training and presence….read full workshop details


All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday 11th February, 9am-12.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Saturday February 26th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat
 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Energy Meditation Life-fullness Meditation techniques Mindful Breathing Mindfulness Presence and being present

Breathing through your skin

“Once we have improved our breathing habits, we can use our breathing in a way called ‘still-point breathing’ to slow down both our mind and body, and move toward a state of meditative stillness”

Dear Integral Meditators,

I hope that those of you that are celebrating the Lunar New Year are having a great time!
This weeks article looks at three simple breathing methods to improve our overall habitual breathing, to use the breathing as a way of moving into stillness, and then finally how to access a special type of breathing called ‘pore breathing’.

If you enjoy the article then do consider joining us for the Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat this Saturday morning, 28th January, where we will be working with techniques just such as these. 

And final call for the Lunar New Year Meditation 2023: Developing your self-assurance & gracefulness in the year of the Water Rabbit this Tues & Weds evening, all welcome!

In the spirit of life & living, 

Toby 

Breathing through your skin

From bad breathing habits to good breathing habits
Many of us have bad breathing habits. If you do a little bit of superficial research on the web you can find basic information on this, some of the characteristics and consequences of this are:

  • We breathe shallowly and through the mouth, only using the middle and upper sections of our lungs, which keeps our center of gravity high in the body and reduces the amount of oxygen intake per breath
  • We neglect to use our lower lungs and diaphragm, which means we loose out on the massaging effect of the inhalation on the stomach and abdominal organs
  • The effect of the above two breathing habits is that we keep our body locked in the ‘fight or flight’, ‘sympathetic’ mode of our nervous system, making us often stressed and uptight by habit

So, the first move with our breathing is to work towards better breathing habits. Some characteristics of good breathing includes:

  • Breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth, or in thru the nose out through the nose
  • Regularly aim to breathe 5-10% deeper and longer, to 65-70% of your lung capacity
  • Start your inhalation by sending the air down to the bottom of your lungs, filling them from the bottom up. Notice movement of the belly when you do this.
  • Make the pace of the inhale and exhale smoothly and even

You can find my full article here on Basic deeper breathing – How to and the benefits.

Still point: From good breathing habits to meditative breathing
Once we have improved our breathing habits, we can use our breathing in a way called ‘still-point breathing to slow down both our mind and body, and move toward a state of meditative stillness. Here is a simple description of the technique:

  • As you follow your breathing, insert a short pause at the bottom of the exhalation before you start to inhale.
  • Within this pause, observe that there is a natural point of balance and stillness.
  • As you breathe, be aware of the point of balance and stillness within the pauses at the bottom of the breath. As you reach the bottom of the out-breath allow your mind to abide momentarily in stillness before you begin to inhale.
  • Stay with this pattern of breathing for a while. Gradually allow the sense stillness in your mind and body to grow deeper with each round of breathing.
  • You may find that your breathing starts to slow a little. Just let the pace of breathing follow its natural impulses, pausing only as long as is comfortable, without getting out of breath.

Pore breathing
At a certain point in the still point breathing, you will really start to notice the pace of your breathing slowing as the body moves deeper and deeper into relaxation. At this point you can then switch the emphasis from deeper and still point breathing to changing the physical breathing itself. You might find yourself taking only 3-4 breaths per minute, and those breaths are shallow and small. At this point your body will be starting to breathe through the pores of the skin quite naturally.
If you like you can enhance this process with a simple visualisation:

  • Feel and imagine all the pores of your skin to be open and respiring gently with your inbreath and outbreath
  • As you breathe in imagine the pores of the skin taking in fresh energy and oxygen from the surrounding air into your body
  • As you breathe out feel your body releasing stagnant energy, stress and toxins through the pores of the body, like steam or smoke

This process can be gentle and need not be forced to feel effective and refreshing.

A simple ten-minute practice
If you started with three minutes of basic deep breathing, then did another three minutes of still-point breathing, then three minute of pore breathing, with a minute or two at the end just to relax and enjoy the effects this is a nice, simple way to get started here.

Related reading: Breathing like a baby – Six breathing meditations

 © Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com. Image of Mou’aputa mountain, Moorea (Tahiti) by Natalie Seisser.

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Tues 24th & Weds 25th January – Lunar New Year Meditation 2023: Developing your self-assurance & gracefulness in the year of the Water Rabbit

Saturday January 28th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Saturday 11th February, 9am-12.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop
 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Breathing Presence and being present Uncategorized

Making it easier to focus deeply

“Our unresolved feelings and emotions in our body are like a spiky outer layer that repels our awareness, and prevents our mind form using the most obvious ‘landing place’ for attention to stabilize in the present. In this way we become alienated from our body and ‘locked out’ of stability in the present”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Why is it really so difficult for us to stabilize our focus? There are a number of reasons, but the article below outlines one and a method that we can use to make focusing much easier, quite quickly, with all the benefits that follow from it!

If you enjoy the article, then this weeks meditation classes on Tuesday & Wednesday will be focusing on it. You are welcome to join us, either live or online.

In the spirit of  warmth, 

Toby 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Special offer until 21st January: 15% off all 3 or 6 month programs!

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

Article: Making it easier to focus deeply

Sensory meditation, the gateway to stability
In general, the stable-est and easiest way to build basic mindful focus is to use your body and senses. Whenever your attention rests on your senses, by default your mind becomes less busy. This is because your body, breathing and senses are non-conceptual objects. They are always in the present moment and so, to the degree that we can get our attention on them we can become more naturally focused in the present.

The challenge with the body and senses as an object of meditation
So, in theory, simply focusing on your body and breathing should make it easy to become more present-focused quite rapidly. However, one reason that we find it quite (even very) difficult to focus on our body and breathing is because our body is where we store all our feelings and emotions on an energy level. If we have a lot of stress, conflicting emotion and tension in our body, then to become more present to our body means to become aware of all of these things. So, often unconsciously people avoid awareness of their body in order to avoid awareness of uncomfortable feelings. Our unresolved feelings and emotions in our body are like a spiky outer layer that repels our awareness, and prevents our mind form using the most obvious ‘landing place’ for attention to stabilize in the present. In this way we become alienated from our body and ‘locked out’ of stability in the present.

Committing to acceptance, warmth, friendliness
When we come to mindful awareness of the body then, we need to be ready to work with the feelings that we find in the body. The simplest way to do this is simply to commit to extending warmth and support to whatever feelings that we find in the body, even if they are uncomfortable. This way, rather than running away into our thoughts, we can relax into the body, even if some of the things that we find there are not always pleasant.

At home in the body, easy to focus
By extending warmth to the body and feelings in the body we can make it like a home; a place that we came back to and find rest and relief from the challenges of our daily life. Not only this, but we find that our mind becomes clearer and easier to focus, because it has a point of stability in the present. Overall, we start to feel stronger and clearer in the face of life and the things that it throws at us.  

Practical: Witnessing the body, like the sun
In meditation turn your attention specifically to the body in, let your attention rest upon and within your body like the sun shining its light. In this context the sun has two qualities:

  • It shines its light impartially and unconditionally
  • The light is warm

You can imagine this as if you were sitting outside with the sun shining down from outside you in the sky. Or, if you like you can imagine it sitting in your chest, shining light from within.
As you encounter your body with your sun like awareness, feel it melting away stress and uncomfortable feelings with its warmth. As you are doing this, some of the feelings will take a while, so don’t be in a hurry. Try and make your body a place that, even there are difficult feelings within it, you can come home to and be present in, finding stability, focus and warmth there.

Related reading: Witnessing like the sun
Your body of presence – Sitting sumo style

 © Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight Inner vision Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Breathing Presence and being present

Essential happiness – Accepting & receiving

“To breathe and know you are alive is a form of inner richness that is like a stream or river; you can just tune into the flow of it and immerse yourself, breath by breath”

Dear Integral Meditators,

For those of you celebrating it a beautiful Christmas. This weeks article & meditation is a nice way to relax into the year end space and enjoy what is present there for you to enjoy!

In the spirit of  accepting & receiving,

Toby

Essential happiness – Accepting & receiving

I titled an article earlier this year ‘happiness as acceptance’. In it I proposed that a lot of ‘being happy’ is not so much an act of explicit creating new things to be happy about in your life. Rather it is about the acknowledgment and acceptance of the things that are already there in your life that can act as a cause of happiness/wellbeing/contentment/richness. In this sense then happiness is an act of opening to and receiving; letting the good things in our life really ‘land’ in our direct experience. For example, today:

  • To have the leisure to write on the morning of Christmas eve
  • To have slept and dreamed well
  • I am in the presence of family
  • I have had a successful business year (by and large) in 2022
  • I have many stimulating ideas for adventures in 2023

These are all things that are right here that, in order to receive good energy from I just need to recognise and open to, to accept. If I can do this then I immediately connect to a source and a sense of wellbeing in a simple, non-complex and visceral way.

Why do we resist?

Its an interesting question to ask ourselves why exactly do we withhold from accepting the happiness that is ours for the taking? I suspect each one of us might have slightly different reasons for doing so according to our different histories. The main thing however is to start to see what is there. If we can do this then we can begin to open gradually to receive the richness that is, quite simply ours for the taking.

Essential happiness

Meditatively-speaking we can start to go beyond ‘reasons to be happy’ by understanding that there is a direct form of happiness that comes from being connected to life-in-the-moment. If as I breathe in, I can open to and receive the essential aliveness of myself, relaxing into that as I breathe out, I can connect myself to something non-verbal and experiential that you could call ‘experiential’ or existential happiness. To breathe and know you are alive is a form of inner richness that is like a stream or river; you can just tune into the flow of it and immerse yourself, breath by breath.

As a meditation you can do this in two stages if you like:

  1. Look for reasons that, if you recognize, acknowledge and receive them give rise to a feeling of happiness, as in the first paragraph above. Breathe and open to these for a while
  2. Then move on to working with receiving your aliveness as you breathe in, relaxing into it as you breathe out. Practice tuning into and immersing yourself in the essential happiness of bring alive and connected to life

With this meditation there need be very little striving, its 85% opening to and receiving and letting that be enough!

Related reading: Natural happiness

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Integral Meditation Practice (IMP) is a different kind of mind-body training, that aims to provide optimal inner peace, centeredness, energy and insight for the contemporary meditation practitioner. It combines eastern and western forms of practice, as well as ancient and modern ones into a series of integrative practices. The practices enable the meditator to remain resilient, energized and creative in the face of the multi-faceted challenges of modern life. These eight classes give an introduction to IMP, in a simple, accessible manner…see full details

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 ‘Beginners mind’ meditation

This meditation session is focused upon setting up the 2022 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2022

Read full details


Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Wednesday Dec 21st, 7.30-8.30pm – Free Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

Tues 3rd & Weds 4th January, 7.30-8.30pm – 2023 New year ‘Beginners mind’ meditation

Starts Tues 10th, Weds 11th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – An eight-week course

Saturday January 28th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

 Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology