“If you can sit down with your most awkward, uncomfortable, fearful inner experiences, then it is almost like nothing else can really intimidate you. If you tame your inner monsters, the outer monsters change too!”
Dear <<First Name>>,
This weeks article explores how you can start to find freedom from the things on the inside of you that intimidate you, enjoy!
If you enjoy the article then do have a look at the Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment that I will be doing on Saturday August 15th, 2.30-5.30pm.
I will be doing the coming Sunday and Wednesday online meditations on the subject of this weeks article, on what is sometimes called the beautiful breathing. Click the link to read my article on it!
In the spirit of freedom,
Toby
Freedom from inner intimidation – Sitting down to tea with your stress
How do you respond when a difficult, stressful or challenging state of mind or emotion comes up for you? And what are the things that you need to do in order to change your relationship to that experience?
Stress transformation begins with acceptance
The first thing that you need to work on with stress transformation is accepting the stress that you are trying to transform, and get comfortable in its presence. If you are intimidated by the feeling of the stress, are running away from it, or taken over by it, then you can’t transform it.
Acceptance gives you the goal of peace, even without resolution of the stress
You could even think of accepting your stress well as a solution in itself. If you are accepting and comfortable with the stress then, even when it is arising you still have access to a stable degree of peace and calm in that moment. If you can do this then the sense of being intimidated or overwhelmed by the stress goes away. It becomes manageable, even enjoyable. You start to see useful things that you can do with the stress, rather than just wishing that it weren’t there.
Accepting what you can’t accept gives you great confidence and inner strength
Another great side benefit of good quality acceptance is that it gives you tremendous confidence. If you can sit down with your most awkward, uncomfortable, fearful inner experiences, then it is almost like nothing else can really intimidate you. If you tame your inner monsters, the outer monsters change too!
How to do it: Sitting down to tea with your challenge and the feelings around it
So the way to start practicing this type of acceptance is to deliberately sit down and bring to mind a circumstance where you have uncomfortable, stressful emotions. You then basically bring it to mind and practice sitting with it, relaxing into the discomfort for a few minutes each day. You ‘sit down to tea’ with your stress, deliberately exposing yourself to it so that, over time it becomes comfortable and easy. It becomes like you are sitting down with an old friend at cafe, having some tea and passing the time of day.
An example: holding space for the suffering of another
One thing that I notice at the moment is that I experience stress around the distress of others around me who are going through their own issues. The fact that I can’t ‘fix’ it or control their responses to it makes me uncomfortable and distressed. So when I notice this coming up for me, I am making a point of holding my attention gently upon it; “Hello there, how are you doing” I say. I invite it to sit down, and have a cup of tea. No hurry to get rid of it, it would be welcome to hang around all day if it wanted! Its welcome to be there whenever it wants, and I welcome it with openness and acceptance.
Watch Toby’s video on “Sitting down to tea with your problems”:
Related article: Mindful Inoculation
Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com
Saturday August 15th, 2.30-5.30pm – Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment
One sentence summary: Learn how to understand, re-direct and make use of stress, anxiety and difficult emotions through mindfulness and meditation.
what if there was a way in which we could learn to work with these negative and difficult energies in such a way that we could transform and redirect them, making them sources of positive and empowering energy, helping us to accomplish our goals and awaken to a new level of fulfillment
Read full details
Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
Are you looking a coach who can help you to:
- Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
- Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
- Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
- Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Tues 18th of August & Weds 19th August 7.30-8.30pm – Monthly new moon, new beginnings visualization and envisioning sessions
These are meditation classes done monthly around the turn of the new moon that enable us to open to new beginnings, new possibilities and make a fresh start with regard to:
- Our health
- Our inner growth
- And our life’s purpose and future goals
Online Integral Meditation & Mindfulness classes
Build focus, beat stress, cultivate wellbeing!
Each session involves simple practices that you can apply to make a real difference to your wellbeing and effectiveness in life…full details of classes
At a glance: All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:
Ongoing – Weekly Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule
Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)
Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)
Saturday August 15th, 2.30-5.30pm – Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment
Tues 18th of August & Weds 19th August 7.30-8.30pm – Monthly new moon, new beginnings visualization and envisioning sessions
Saturday August 22nd, 3-5.30pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat
Coming soon – High performance bootcamp: Using mindfulness to operate at your peak without burning out
Integral Meditation Asia
Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology