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Meditating on the Bright Child within you

“The bright child is that part of us that is ever young, ever new, ever creative, ever both innocent and wise, whose light helps us begin again each time we burn out.”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article explores the space between the psychological and the spiritual dimensions or our psyche, particularly with reference to our child-self. If you enjoy it, this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class will integrate this subject into the session, and the Masterclass on 9th December is focused on Working with your bright shadow. 
The Integral Meditation Two Day Retreat at the end of this month is implicitly a deep dive into the state of the ‘Spiritual Child’ mentioned in the article.
 
In the spirit of the Bright Child,
 
Toby

Meditating on the Bright Child within you
 
Normally when we think of inner child work, we think of the psychological level of things; ‘healing’ our wounded inner child, recovering the playfulness we had as a child but forgot, and so on. Psychological practices like this refer to the child-in-time that we were, meaning:
‘The historical child, that is the child within us whose character has been shaped and informed by our own literal historical upbringing; experience with parents, peers, and other significant others, what happened to us in school, how we were treated and learned to gain approval and so on. The child within us now that is a product of our personal historical experience, and our response to that.’ (see my previous article on ‘Meditating with the child self’)
The below here offers a complementary practise, where the focus is on connecting to our Spiritual, and Archetypal/Soul level or ‘Bright child’.
 
Your ‘Spiritual Child’
You might call your Spiritual Child the ‘Eternal’ or ‘Ever-New’ Self. It is our essential nature, outside of the world of form and time. You can find it in meditation in the following way:
Observing your field of consciousness, notice three domains:

  • Firstly, your body and senses in time and space, gradually getting older.
  • Secondly, your mind and thoughts, also thinking and feeling according to your unfolding story in time and space, as you (as a body-mind) get older.
  • Thirdly, there is consciousness itself, and the ‘simple feeling of being’ that it gives rise to. This experience is formless, timeless and ever-new, arising pristine and bright in each moment.

This third domain of consciousness itself, and the simple feeling of being, is what we are referring to as our ever-young, ‘Spiritual Child’. To meditate on the simple feeling of being is to connect, and to be fed and renewed by our inner Spiritual Child. This is a meditation we can do and continue to deepen over a lifetime.
 
Your Archetypal, or ‘Bright Child’
Having connected to your Spiritual Child as above, you can then set an intention to meet your ‘Soul-level’ child, or bright child. You can do this through visualization. If you imagine yourself in a landscape, and then imagine your ‘Bright child’ comes to meet you. S/he would look very much like yourself as a young child, but when you see her, you see that she is bright, beautiful, happy, untouched by your past traumas as an historical child. As I mention in my child-self article, the bright child is “That part of us that is ever young, ever new, ever creative, ever both innocent and wise, whose light helps us begin again each time we burn out.”
When you spend time with her you can:

  • Observe the states of mind, perspectives & somatic sensations that arise when you are in contact with her
  • Talk to her and troubleshoot challenges you have in your life, as well as derive inspiration
  • Practice being her, now, and embodying her energy

 
These practices are great to do as meditations by themselves, but they are also valuable to do in combination with the often-difficult work of healing our historical inner-child of their past wounds and burdens from this life. Contacting the wounded child in the context of knowing the child within you that is already in perfect health makes it much easier to face the pain, and less arduous.
 
Related articles:  Meditating with the child self
Your shadow child
Progressively recovering your joie de vivre (Meditating with your inner child)

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2023. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  

In case you missed it: The body is in you – How to go into deep meditation quickly
 
The deepest level of meditation is what is known as Non-Dual meditation. It is the state of meditation where, essentially the subject-object divide within consciousness collapses into ‘One Taste’ or the simple, essential unity of being.
One way to achieve this is what you might call ‘progressive witnessing’, where you realize that you are not any of the objects in your consciousness, rather you are the witness of them. You do this until you realize the Essential I, the I-I, the pure consciousness that is the witness. It would go something like this…read full article

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The body is in you – How to go into deep meditation quickly

Dear Integral Meditators,

This mid-week article explores a simple way of dropping into deep meditation states more quickly than you would using most conventional meditation methodologies.
If you enjoy it, then it is one of the meditation techniques we shall be using a the Integral Meditation Two Day Retreat on October 28th & 29th. You are invited to join!

Latest 45 second mindfulness video: Going beyond your self-concept

In the spirit of depth,

Toby

The body is in you – How to go into deep meditation quickly
 
The deepest level of meditation is what is known as Non-Dual meditation. It is the state of meditation where, essentially the subject-object divide within consciousness collapses into ‘One Taste’ or the simple, essential unity of being.
One way to achieve this is what you might call ‘progressive witnessing’, where you realize that you are not any of the objects in your consciousness, rather you are the witness of them. You do this until you realize the Essential I, the I-I, the pure consciousness that is the witness. It would go something like this:
I experience my body, but I am not my body
I experience my feelings and emotions, but I am not my feelings and emotions
I experience my thoughts, but I realize I am the watched of the thoughts, rather than the thoughts themselves.
I am the formless consciousness that witnesses the mind, body and emotions.
 
This then gives you the essential realization of your Self-as-Pure-Consciousness. If you then let go of the Witness-Self, and let Consciousness (the witness), merge with the objects of consciousness (in this case the mind, feelings, and body), then you are left with ‘just this’, the experience of each moment as itself, which is Non-Duality, or One Taste. As the Zen poem goes:
 
“We sit together, the mountain & me, until only the mountain remains”
 
So then, normally this takes years and years of meditation to get to. What I am going to explain now is a meditation you can do to start getting a feeling for the above, using a perceptual ‘flipping’ technique. It goes like this:
Sit comfortably, notice how it naturally feels as if you are sitting ‘inside’ your body.
Then recognize the Witness-Self, observing the body.
Then think to yourself:
“I am not in my body, my body is in me.”
Expand your witnessing consciousness to surround the body, so that your You (you as Witness Consciousness) surrounds and encloses the body. Stay with this feeling a while.
Then do the same thing in a progressively larger and larger manner in this order:
“I am not sitting in this room; the room is sitting in me.” (As the formless witness-consciousness)
“I am not sitting in this building (house/apartment etc….); this building is sitting within me.”
 
Let your awareness move out to the horizon enclosing the landscape around you:
“I am not sitting within the landscape; the landscape is sitting within me.”
 
Expand your awareness to include the sky and stars above, and the Earth beneath you:
“I am not sitting upon the Earth under the sky & stars, they are sitting within me”
 
You can play with this technique to get a sense of the radical way in which it starts to alter your perception of self, noticing how it gives you an expanded sense of self-as consciousness, within which the whole world sits!
Once you have a sense of this, you can then practice dropping the Witness, and dropping into the experience of the union of observer and observed into a non-dual state:
Observe the body, then drop the observer until “Only the body remains.”
Observe the room, then drop the observer until “Only the room remains.”
Observe the house, then drop the observer until “Only the house remains.”
Observe the landscape, then drop the observer until “Only the landscape remains.”
Observe the earth, sky and stars, then drop the observer until “Only the earth, sky and stars remain.”
 
The above are some simple pointing-out instructions to start playing with in meditation, they are designed to help you drop into a deeper witnessing, and then a non-dual state quickly and rapidly. More quickly, perhaps much more quickly than you would be able to do with a more conventional meditation methodology.  
 
Related articles: Watching & then dropping the watcher
 
Related video: Subjects to objects – How meditation helps you grow to greater degrees of freedom

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Re-working your ego by expanding your self-concept (AKA: Van Halen therapy)

“In a situation where your self-concept doesn’t believe you can meet & solve a challenge, you can do one of two things. You can give up, or you can change your idea of yourself, making it one that can work with what is presenting”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This weeks article explores how to work mindfully with your ego & self concept in a creative, empowered way. If you enjoy it, then you are invited to come along to the Tuesday or Wednesday meditation class, where we will be focusing on this subject. 

A couple of dates for your diary, in addition to the Two day meditation retreat on Oct 28-29th:

In the spirit of turning subjects into objects,

Toby 

Re-working your ego by expanding your self-concept (AKA: Van Halen therapy)
 
The Ego is
One of the definitions that I like for the ego is simply ‘the unifying centre of awareness’ of a person. It is the self-sense that sits in the middle of you as you navigate your daily experiences. Ego is not a positive or negative term, but a neutral one. However, we can say that a person has a strong or functional ego, which is a good thing, or a weak, dysfunctional ego which is not a good thing. Our ego also operates according to ethical values, or a lack of ethical values, and this distinction also makes an ego a relatively ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ thing. These values can be held consciously or unconsciously by the ego in question.
 
Your self-concept is
Your idea of who you are. It is the mental template that you have built up over your life about:

  • The ‘type’ of person you are
  • What is possible & not possible for you
  • The story of how you became who you are

…and so on. Your self-concept generally creates a sense of what you can and can’t do in life, what you like and don’t like. When you are faced with a challenge, your ability to deal with that problem is intimately related to your self-concept. Your self-concept projects onto the situation what it thinks and believes. In a situation where your self-concept doesn’t believe you can meet and solve a challenge, you can do one of two things:

  • You can give up, or
  • You can change your idea of yourself, making it one that can work with what is presenting

 
Relating imaginatively to a new idea of yourself
I remember one time when I was feeling particularly overwhelmed by always having to ‘put myself out there’ as a creative and as a small business owner. I really felt out of my comfort zone. It felt alien to my idea of myself, it felt uncomfortable and exhausting. I had a dream one night of being with Daid Lee Roth (ex-lead singer of Van Halen). I was hanging out with him on the void-deck of an HDB block of flats in Singapore. Preparations were underway for a concert, and after chatting enthusiastically to me for a short while, DL-R just got up on stage with his band and did the concert, singing and dancing around half-naked, and just letting go and enjoying himself with the small group of people that was there.
I woke up feeling light, energised, and encouraged. In the subsequent days, week’s, and still to this day (the dream was years ago) I often think of this dream, and imagine myself being like David L-R, just dancing though my life, meeting what is there with enthusiasm, spontaneity, and not being afraid of a bit of exhibitionism.
This idea, and working with it imaginatively really changed my self-concept, and consequently my sense of what is possible, what can energise me not drain me, and so on. In short, I re-worked my ego using a new image-template.
 
Using this expanded self for inner healing & growth
So, the basic idea is that if you have a psychological block that is holding you back, or you don’t think you care ‘capable’ of achieving something, you create an image or idea of yourself that can, and then start relating to that image.
 
Paths beyond the ego
If you are connected to the Soul level of things, quite often you will find that ideas, images, and happenings occur in your life that you can readily use for this type of work, so pay attention!
The ego is the mental/psychological level of self, so there are a number levels of self beyond ego on the soul and spiritual level of things. However, the ego and self-concept are really ‘lynch-pins’ between the upper and lower levels of self, so we really need to work on making our self-concept a healthy, resilient, wise and fun-loving one!
 
Related reading: Your bright shadow – The one who can do what you can’t

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2023. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  

In case you missed last week’s video: ‘Subjects to objects – How meditation helps you grow to greater degrees of freedom’

Summary: This video discusses two main subjects related to meditation. The first part explores why and how a meditation practice helps individuals grow as individuals. Meditation is described as a process that transforms subjects of consciousness (e.g., body, emotions, ego) into objects of consciousness, leading to reduced identification with these aspects and increased inner freedom…watch full video

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Enlightened Flow Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Meditating on the Self Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Videos

‘Subjects to objects – How meditation helps you grow to greater degrees of freedom’

Dear Toby, 

Retreat events this month include a short one: This Saturday morning’s Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat, & for the main event for October, theIntegral Meditation Two Day Retreat on the weekend of the 28/29th.
The two day retreat is a great opportunity to really deepen your meditation practice in a profound way. Don’t be deceived by the relative shortness of the time span, the methods we use are designed to get practitioners into the ‘zone’ right from the get go….
The new video I have created, entitled ‘Subjects to objects – How meditation helps you grow to greater degrees of freedom’ explores the essential dynamic of meditation, and how short bursts of meditation such as retreats can really catalyze that process!  

In the spirit of turning subjects into objects,

Toby 

Summary: This video discusses two main subjects related to meditation. The first part explores why and how a meditation practice helps individuals grow as individuals. Meditation is described as a process that transforms subjects of consciousness (e.g., body, emotions, ego) into objects of consciousness, leading to reduced identification with these aspects and increased inner freedom. It aids in personal evolution by moving from one level of consciousness to another. The second part focuses on the long-term effects of a meditation practice, emphasizing that continued meditation leads to increasing degrees of freedom from the objects within one’s consciousness. This liberation allows individuals to endure stress calmly and undertake challenging tasks with ease. The analogy of dissolving salt in water is used to illustrate how a larger, more expansive mind mitigates the impact of suffering and stress. Ultimately, meditation enhances the quality of life, making it less painful and more enjoyable.

Related article: Article on meditation & the salt analogy


In case you missed it this weeks article: Fourteen types & levels of mindful intention
 
We almost always have an intention, even in our dreams. Some of these intentions are conscious, some of them are unconscious. These intentions drive our actions & acts as the context for our experiences, shaping them substantially. What intentions have you been oriented around today, and how have they been shaping your experiences and actions?
One way you could define mindfulness is ‘Living with conscious intentionally’…read full article

Article © Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Enlightened Flow Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present

Fourteen levels of mindful intention

“We almost always have an intention, even in our dreams. That intention drives our actions & acts as the context for our experiences, shaping them substantially. What intentions have you been oriented around today, & how have they been shaping your experiences and actions?”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

One way you could define mindfulness is ‘Living with conscious intentionally’. The article below unpacks some aspects of this, I hope you enjoy it!

The Therapeutic mindfulness course  is ongoing, with this weeks class focusing on ‘Positive Acceptance vs resignation, repression vs suppression – Understanding the dynamic of good quality therapeutic mindfulness‘.

Heads up for this Saturday morning’s Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat, & for the main event for October, theIntegral Meditation Two Day Retreat on the weekend of the 28/29th.
 
In the spirit of intention,

Toby 


Fourteen types & levels of mindful intention
 
We almost always have an intention, even in our dreams. Some of these intentions are conscious, some of them are unconscious. These intentions drive our actions & acts as the context for our experiences, shaping them substantially. What intentions have you been oriented around today, and how have they been shaping your experiences and actions?
 
One way you could define mindfulness is ‘Living with conscious intentionally’

When I was doing my first serious decade of meditation training back in the 90’s I was working with Tibetan Buddhism as a practice vehicle. One of the main practices was a series of twenty one practices called the ‘Lamrim’ or ‘stages of the path. Each stage was had a particular meditation object associated with it. What was interesting was that twenty of the twenty one meditations was about developing a specific intention, which shows you how important intention is in meditation in general, and in Tibetan Buddhism in particular. What I have done in this article is condense the twenty intentions into fourteen, in a way that can be understood and explored by anyone. The premise is that any one of these intentions will cause us to think, feel and act in ways that are beneficial both to ourselves and others. Our actions follow our intentions and thoughts. If you change your intention, you change your life, literally.
 
The fourteen levels of intention:

  1. The intention to seek out reliable guides who can provide us with reliable wisdom in the important areas of our life
  2. To recognize and appreciate the amazing opportunity of a human life and use it in the most meaningful manner
  3. Mindful of death and impermanence, to not waste our life on meaningless distractions, rather to ‘carpe diem’; seize the day!
  4. To seek out communities and people who have integrity and can provide us with genuine refuge from suffering, and ‘sail together’ to happiness and wellbeing
  5. To be mindful of our actions and the effects that they have in our life. To avoid thoughtless, counter-productive actions, and engage in ‘constructive’ life-enhancing ones
  6. To practice healthy detachment regarding our desires, and pursue more and more reliable forms of fulfilment, freedom, and wellbeing
  7. To cultivate equanimity and even-mindedness, both in our pursuit of success, and in our treatment of others
  8. To cultivate loving kindness toward ourself, our community and all living beings as far as possible
  9. To wish ourself and others true and lasting happiness
  10. The intention of compassion: To wish ourself and others to be free from needless pain and suffering
  11. The active intention to relieve the suffering & pain of ourself
  12. The active intention to relieve the suffering & pain of others, in fact all living beings
  13. The active intention to give happiness and joy to others, in fact all living beings
  14. The determination to realize enlightenment or awakening ourself, in order to fulfil our intention to relieve the suffering of all others, and bring them true and lasting happiness

 
Intentions 1-6 are primarily focused on ourself, 7-14 progressively lead us to a concern for others; from our ‘close circle’ (friends, family, colleagues) progressively to include all living beings.
The final intention ‘to realize enlightenment and awakening’ means something specific in Tibetan Buddhism. But it can equally be interpreted as simply to become the wisest, most capable person you can be in order to benefit to the evolution of the world. Dwelling upon each of these intentions mindfully can lead us to some powerful, pro-active places within ourselves, you can work with them systematically, or just drop into the ones that catch your attention as you read through.

Article © Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 


In case you missed last week’s articles: 

Tree of Life – The union of ego, soul & spirit
&
Distinguishing suppression & repression
 

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing – Re-discovering your inner vitality & joie-de-vivre – An introduction to integrative therapeutic mindfulness & meditation

Saturday October 7th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Saturday & Sunday October 28th & 29th – Integral Meditation Two Day Retreat

Tues/Weds Oct 31st, Nov 1st – Seasonal class: Samhain – Healing the wounds & receiving the gifts of our ancestors

Tues/Weds Nov 14th/15th – Seasonal class: Deepavali -connecting to your inner light

Sat/Sun Nov 25th/26th, 9.30am-1pm – Shamanic meditation workshop retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Tree of Life – The union of ego, soul & spirit

Dear Integral Meditators, 

The article below explains a ‘six-pointed star’ meditation that comes from the Tree of life tradition. Its a sample of one of the meditations that we will be doing in the Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life, and growing your own personal Life Tree workshop this weekend.
And last call for the Therapeutic mindfulness course  starting today!
 
In the spirit of harmony,

Toby 

Tree of Life – The union of ego, soul & spirit
 
The Tree of Life is essentially a visual meditation key that offers us ways of relating to ourself and the Universe in a holistic, balanced, and dynamic manner. An example of one such meditation is the meditation on the six-pointed star. You can refer to the diagram for a visual.

In this meditation the ‘Soul’ is conceived as a harmonized union of the qualities of ourself as a personality/ego, and ourself as Spirit.

  • On the ego level we can think of ourselves as consisting of a trinity of mind, body, and emotions, see the lower three points of the star on the diagram
  • On the spiritual level we can think of ourselves as partaking of the trinity of justice/will, compassion/mercy and Unitive Spirit/Higher intuition, see the top three points of the star.

In our life, we ‘sit’ in the centre of these six converging forces, and our challenge is to master each well enough to create harmony between all of them. Each of the six forces are big areas of mastery by themselves, so we can see that true mastery on the Soul level is no mean feat! Meditation on the six-pointed star is designed to facilitate this. Here are some basic pointing out instructions for doing it:
 

  • Begin by centring using the body & breathing
  • Visualize a golden, six-pointed star in front of you, about a metre away at eye level. Refer to the diagram to get a sense of the energy spheres at the tip of each point, with their colours and corresponding qualities, with the golden sphere of the soul in the middle. One you can visualize it with some stability, you will feel it affecting the subtle energies of your body as you sit and meditate
  • When you are ready, visualize the star and corresponding spheres around you, with yourself sitting in the middle of the central soul-sphere. Feel the energies of the six spheres around you flowing into the central sphere. As they do so feel the energies of your mind, emotions and body merging and harmonizing with the energies of spirit, willpower, and compassion.
  • Sit in the centre of the six-pointed star in a state of harmonious presence for a period, acclimatizing to this state, and the energy flow.

 
This meditation sets up currents of energy in your body, mind and heart that help to facilitate the real-time mastery of these six energies as you go through your daily life. It aids greatly your capacity to make real progress in this process. It also gives you a simple mental model for understanding what you are aiming for on your path of spiritual and temporal growth. It is a fairly complete meditation in and of itself.
 
 If you enjoyed this article, you are invited to come along to this Saturday/Sunday mornings workshop on Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life, and growing your own personal Life Tree. We will be covering this and a number of other practical meditations on the Tree.

Related article: Meditating on the Tree of Life

Article © Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 
 


In case you missed it, newsletter article this week: Suppression & repression – the difference, & it’s importance
 
Why is it important to know the importance between these two?
Its important to know the difference between these two because one can be used positively and strategically to enhance our effectiveness and wellbeing in life, whereas the other almost always results in longer term inner turbulence and interference in our ability so see and work with our present life as it is.
 What does it mean to suppress? Speaking in emotional terms, to suppress means to be aware that you have that emotion, and to exert self-control in order not to express it in the moment, for example…read full article

Special Coaching Offer for the Month of September – Free 20minute coaching session with Toby

For the remaining two weeks of September Integral Meditation Asia is offering free 20minute coaching sessions with Toby!
If you have been interested in the idea of getting some personal coaching on a particular issue or challenge, and/or want to explore what 1:1 meditation coaching can do for you in terms of both your quality of and direction in life, this is a great opportunity to find out what it is like with Toby. These 20minute sessions can be done on Zoom or via Whatsapp.
You can find read the general write up of Toby’s Life-fullness Coaching here, & his other forms of coaching here.
You can read feedback and reviews from Toby’s coaching sessions here. 

To arrange your 20minute session or for further enquiries: Email info@tobyouvry.com, or W-App65-96750279

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Energy Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

Distinguishing suppression & repression

“Suppression can be used positively and strategically to enhance our effectiveness and wellbeing in life, whereas repression almost always results in long term inner turbulence and interference in our ability to see and work with our present life as it is”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

The distinction between suppression & repression is an important one for preserving our overall sense of inner balance & harmony. One requires temporarily foregoing emotional expression, the second engaging emotion that we might not want to face. 
If you enjoy the article, then do consider coming along for the Therapeutic mindfulness course starting next week. The aim in a nutshell is to re-wire your relationship to your past in order to engage your present & future with vitality & enthusiasm.

Also, quick reminder of the workshop this weekend: Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life, and growing your own personal Life Tree
 
In the spirit of controlled flow,

Toby 


Suppression & repression – the difference, & it’s importance
 
Why is it important to know the importance between these two?
Its important to know the difference between these two because one can be used positively and strategically to enhance our effectiveness and wellbeing in life, whereas the other almost always results in longer term inner turbulence and interference in our ability so see and work with our present life as it is.
 
What does it mean to supress?
Speaking in emotional terms, to supress means to be aware that you have that emotion, and to exert self-control in order not to express it in the moment, for example:

  • I might be very angry, but refrain from expressing it right now
  • I might feel sad, but put on a ‘brave face’
  • I might feel affection and want to hug someone, but it just might not be appropriate for the situation

Conscious suppression enables us to go away with our feelings and deal with them later, in a way that is appropriate. It prevents us doing things that we may later regret or consider unhelpful. Done skillfully, we can consider it a good ability to have! This is with the caveat that, having suppressed the emotion we do not then repress it…
 
What does it mean to repress?
To repress an emotion (or an experience that brings up painful emotion) means to push it out of our conscious awareness, and into our unconscious. It means to ‘pretend’ to ourself that the emotion and/or related experience does not exist, that we do not, in fact have then at all.

  • I am angry, but when asked, “Anger, what anger? Why would I be angry”
  • Rather than consciously putting on a brave face while feeling sad, I simply am not sad (even though I am)
  • I am scared by my affection for someone enough to simply squash it and pretend I don’t have it

Repression constricts and uses up our energy (to repress takes effort). It means we have to lie to ourselves. It messes up our rational thinking, turning it into rationalisation of the denial we want to be true. It often results in our feeling and expressing other surface emotions that are really all about the repressed emotion, for example:

  • I am angry (the repressed), so I react by feeling sad and bursting into tears (the expressed)
  • I am sad (the repressed), so I lash out and attack my colleague (the expressed)

Repression makes us suffer, often unconsciously. It makes us less capable in the face of reality. It can create unhealthy physical habits, and in the longer term it can even start to cause physical health issues.
 
Can you supress & then repress?
Of course, you can supress and emotion that you know you’re having, and then conveniently ‘forget’ about it later through repression.
 
Observing your own habits & patterns mindfully
So, the thing here is on a practical level start to watch yourself in real time and assess your patterns of repression and suppression. Just observe honestly and notice if you are using suppression in a healthy or unhealthy manner, and what emotions/experiences you tend to outright repress. Re-working your habits in this domain will serve you well for the rest of your life!
 
Processing old repressions
Of course, all of us have a bunch of repressions from or recent and distant path. Part of the function of Therapeutic Mindfulness is to dig these out and bring them to resolution, so that they stop interfering with our present life and our aspirations for the future. You can see a recent reflection of mine on my own inner child process by clicking the link. The effect of processing past repressions is almost always a resurgence of life force, and an enhanced sense of the joy of being alive.
 
If you enjoy this article, then do consider participating in my new course  An introduction to therapeutic mindfulness & meditation – Re-discovering your inner vitality & joie-de-vivre. It starts 26/27th Sept, and can be participate on live, online or via recording.
 
Related article: From resignation to positive acceptance

Article © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 

Special Coaching Offer for the Month of September – Free 20minute coaching session with Toby

For the remaining two weeks of September Integral Meditation Asia is offering free 20minute coaching sessions with Toby!
If you have been interested in the idea of getting some personal coaching on a particular issue or challenge, and/or want to explore what 1:1 meditation coaching can do for you in terms of both your quality of and direction in life, this is a great opportunity to find out what it is like with Toby. These 20minute sessions can be done on Zoom or via Whatsapp.
You can find read the general write up of Toby’s Life-fullness Coaching here, & his other forms of coaching here.
You can read feedback and reviews from Toby’s coaching sessions here. 

To arrange your 20minute session or for further enquiries: Email info@tobyouvry.com, or W-App65-96750279

Integral Meditation Asia

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Biographical creative imagery Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology mind body connection Presence and being present

Progressively recovering your joie de vivre (Meditating with your inner child)

“If you are prepared to do the work, it seems there truly are no edges to your level of inner joy”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

The photo of the child with this article is me when I was around 8 or 9. I keep it on the fridge. I noticed last week that the fridge magnet marked ‘l’excitacion’, or excitement in French had been placed on my forehead, which inspired me to write about my own ongoing journey in the domain of Therapeutic mindfulness. 
If you enjoy the article, then do consider participating in the upcoming Therapeutic mindfulness course, which is full of practices to help you re-connect to the joy of living, and move beyond long-held fears.  

And final heads up for this Wednesday’s Autumn Equinox meditation, either live or online!
 
In the spirit of exitacion,

Toby 


Progressively recovering your joie de vivre (Meditating with your inner child)
 
When I left my life as a Buddhist monk, aged 31, I had been practising eastern meditation forms in a very disciplined manner for a decade. I had experienced many wonderful and amazing meditation states, and had a solid working experience of the awakened state/enlightenment experience. Despite this I noticed that there were still parts of my everyday consciousness that seemed to have been untouched by all this work. I found that certain types of anxiety, irritability and fear had not gone away, and sometimes seemed even worse. This was partly why I left my life as a monk, because I felt I needed to broaden my search for answers to these unresolved areas. The answer was not just ‘do more meditation’, I had to do something differently.

One of the things that I focused on that year was exercises specifically based on the psychological level of my being, based around western theories of trauma and around working with emotional states. I began regular work with my ‘inner child’, exercises including visualization, dialoguing, breathing and body-work. I was very surprised how much work there was to be done! I considered myself pretty well-adjusted as a person, which I think I was, but even so, there was so much to re-connect to, so much to work with, so much to discover. During this period, I really felt I recovered much of my joie de vivre, and got a badly needed ‘second-wind’ for my inner growth that powered me into the next decade of my life.
But the amazing thing about this is that even though I felt that I now had a very good relationship to my inner child (and other sub personalities), it is a process that does not seem to end. Fast forward to the beginning of this year. At the beginning of the year, I often check in with my ‘inner family’ in meditation. When meeting my inner child, I had this experience:

“I am walking along the middle of a shallow river that I used to play in as a child. I come to a bridge from which I used to look down at the big fish swimming in and out of the dark water underneath. On the sand to one side of the bridge I see my inner child. I wade over to him, and we squat for a while looking under the bridge. Then he smiles to me and we begin to walk into the water and under the bridge (I never went under the bridge as a child). We stand in silence looking and feeling the fish around our feet, in gentle awe and excitement. After while we walk on and out from the other side of the bridge. We walk on to a meadow next to the river. My child-self utters a cry, and starts to run around the meadow, whooping, and laughing out of pure joy, I watch on, quite amazed, and aware of a new level of joy in myself that I have never experienced before.”

After the meditation, this new level of joy within myself has persisted, and it seems clear to me that some level of inhibition or fear in my child has been resolved. This is a full fifteen years after starting my active relationship with him. So even now my life and experience are expanding and growing from my inner work with my child self and other related therapeutic mindfulness practices aimed at building a strong inner-self psychologically. If you do the work, it seems there truly are no edges to your level of inner joy.
   
 
Related article: Meditating with your child self
Creating a therapeutic mindfulness space
Wake, up, Grow up, Clean up, Flow – The Art of Enlightened Flow
 

Special Coaching Offer for the Month of September – Free 20minute coaching session with Toby

For the remaining two weeks of September Integral Meditation Asia is offering free 20minute coaching sessions with Toby!
If you have been interested in the idea of getting some personal coaching on a particular issue or challenge, and/or want to explore what 1:1 meditation coaching can do for you in terms of both your quality of and direction in life, this is a great opportunity to find out what it is like with Toby. These 20minute sessions can be done on Zoom or via Whatsapp.
You can find read the general write up of Toby’s Life-fullness Coaching here, & his other forms of coaching here.
You can read feedback and reviews from Toby’s coaching sessions here. 

To arrange your 20minute session or for further enquiries: Email info@tobyouvry.com, or W-App65-96750279

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Inner vision Meditating on the Self Meditation techniques spiritual intelligence Tree of Life

Meditating on the Tree of Life

“Meditation on the Tree of Life aims to balance and harmonize various aspects of the self by connecting with different universal energies represented by the tree’s structure”

Dear Integral Meditators,

I’m just preparing for my upcoming workshop on the Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life, and growing your own personal Life Tree, & am placing below an article introducing the idea of meditating with the Tree. The full article is quite long, so I have placed a brief summary below, with the full detailed article beneath.

It’s one of my favorite meditation practices, I hope that by posting it here I’ll inspire a few to find out more about it! When reading, you can use the above picture for reference.

In the spirit of the Life Tree,

Toby

Article & meditation summary:

The Tree of Life is a significant concept in Western meditation traditions. The Tree of Life is represented as a diagram with three pillars and three triangles, each symbolizing various aspects of the universe and individual development. Here’s a brief summary of the key points and stages of the meditation:

  1. Visualization of the Tree: Start by visualizing a beautiful tree in nature. Imagine a pillar of light extending from its roots to the sky, with spheres of earth, lunar, solar, and stellar energies along the central column. Two side pillars also contain orbs of energy.
  2. Merging with the Tree: Visualize yourself sitting at the base of the tree and gradually merging into it, aligning with the central column of light. Feel the energies of the earth, moon, sun, and stars flowing into your being, filling you with light and energy.
  3. Ascending and Descending the Central Pillar:
    • Lunar/Personality Sphere: Move your consciousness up to the lunar sphere, where silvery moon energies strengthen and balance your body,  mind (orange light) and emotions (green light).
    • Solar/Soul Level Sphere: Ascend further to the solar sphere, where golden sun energies balance with your willpower and sense of justice (red/crimson light) and your sense of mercy and compassion (blue/indigo light).
    • Stellar/Spiritual Sphere: Rise to a sphere beneath the stellar sphere, where white stellar energies balance with your feminine energy and presence (dark light) and masculine energy and creativity (silvery-grey light). Achieve balance and harmony between these aspects.
  4. Merging with the Tree/Body Mandala Practice: Descend the central pillar until you’re back at the base, and then expand your consciousness to become the Tree of Life. Your spine and core represent the central column, while your left and right halves embody the energies of the left and right columns. This step integrates the tree’s energies into your being.
  5. Conclusion: Gradually return your awareness to your physical surroundings, relax your visualization, and conclude the meditation.

This meditation on the Tree of Life aims to balance and harmonize various aspects of the self by connecting with different universal energies represented by the tree’s structure.

Meditating on the Tree of Life (full article)

The Tree of Life is a major strand of the western tradition of meditation. It is essentially a diagram consisting of:

  • Three pillars: A central pillar of equilibrium/balance, a right-hand pillar (as you look at it) that is ‘masculine’ or yang in nature, and a left-hand pillar that is ‘feminine’ or yin in nature
  • Three triangles stacked vertically: A bottom one representing the body, mind and emotions, or ‘personality’. A middle one representing justice, compassion & beauty, or the ‘soul’. The third, top triangle represents the energy of primal yin, yang and formless (causal) consciousness, or ‘spirit’

Arranged on the pillars and triangles are 10/11 ‘Sephiroth’ or spheres, each representing a particular universal energy. You can see this depicted in the picture that accompanies this article, which is one that I drew many years ago.

The great thing about the Tree of Life is that it depicts all major aspects of the Universe, and of ourselves as individuals. If we know the Tree, we know where to put all of our meditation practices and other activities, and how to develop ourselves holistically in a balanced manner as a result. Below is a brief meditation on the Tree, traveling up the central column, that is a good basis from which other Tree-practices can be developed.

Basic meditation on the Tree of Life

Stage 1: Visualizing the Tree

Imagine you are facing a beautiful tree, somewhere in nature, if you like pick one that you know and love. Visualizing it in front of you, feel its energy. See a pillar of light extending from the roots up the trunk and into the sky. At the bottom of the pillar, just beneath the Earth, is a sphere of earth-energy. A two/three metres up the column is a lunar sphere made of silvery light. Midway up the trunk us a sphere of golden sun energy. Toward the top of the canopy is a sphere of white, star-energy. Either side of the central pillar you can see two other pillars of light, each with three beautiful orbs of energy along its length.

Stage 2: Merging with the Tree

Now visualize yourself going over and sitting at the base of the tree, with your back resting on the tree trunk. After a while feel yourself moving backwards into the tree, so that you are sitting in the centre of the central column of light, with the energies of the earth rising beneath, grounding you, and the energies of the moon, sun and stars flowing into you from above. Feel your own body glowing with light and energy as this happens.

Stage 3: Ascending & descending the central pillar

The Lunar/Personality sphere

Feel your body ascending the central pillar to the lunar sphere, feel your energy-body being strengthened by the silvery energies of the moon. Feel two streams of light flowing into the sphere.

  • To your right, feel a flow of orange light flowing into the sphere, strengthening, and balancing your mind
  • To your left feel a flow of green light flowing into the sphere, strengthening, and balancing your emotions

Feel your mind, body and emotions coming into balance and harmony as these energies flow together within you.

The Solar/Soul level sphere

Feel your body rising again up the central pillar to the solar sphere. feel your energy-body being balanced by the beautiful golden energies of the Sun. Feel two streams of light flowing into the sphere.

  • To your right, feel a flow of red/crimson light flowing into the sphere, strengthening, and balancing your willpower and sense of justice
  • To your left feel a flow of blue/indigo light flowing into the sphere, strengthening, and balancing your sense of mercy and compassion

Feel your willpower, compassion, and sense of beauty/harmony coming into balance as these energies flow together within you

The Stellar/Spiritual sphere

Feel your body rising again up the central pillar to a sphere of light a little way beneath the stellar sphere. feel your energy-body being balanced by the beautiful white energies of the stellar sphere descending into you directly from above. Then feel two streams of light flowing into the sphere.

  • To your right, feel a flow of dark light flowing into the sphere, strengthening, and balancing your feminine energy and presence
  • To your left feel a flow of silvery-grey light flowing into the sphere, strengthening, and balancing your masculine energy and creativity

Feel your feminine, masculine, and spiritual/stellar energy coming into balance and harmony as these energies flow together within you. At this stage you may like to enter a period of silent awareness for a while.

Stage 4: Merging with the Tree/ body mandala practice

Without being in a hurry, feel yourself descending the middle pillar of the Tree, until you are sitting once more within the base at ground level. Now imagine that your body grows and expands, so that you become the Tree of Life, with your spine and vertical core as the central column, and the left and right halves of your body containing the energies of the left and right columns respectively.

When you are ready, become aware of your immediate physical surroundings, relax your visualization, and bring the meditation to a close.

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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The projector behind you – How the past interweaves your present & future

“Past-focused mindfulness involves delving consciously into past memory & narratives, releasing pent-up energy, and then gently reworking these stories to create a more optimistic and energized outlook“

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article focuses upon how focusing mindfully on the past can change your experience of both your present and future. It’s an important dimension of mindfulness that I’ve enjoyed practising tremendously, particularly over the last 15 years or so. If you enjoy the article, then do consider coming along to my therapeutic mindfulness course starting on the 26th September.

You can also see my video on The projector behind you – An intro to therapeutic mindfulness by clicking the link.

Quick reminder also of the upcoming Autumn Equinox Meditation on the 20th, & Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life, and growing your own personal Life Tree workshop on 30/31st September.
 
In the spirit of interweaving past, present & future,

Toby 

The projector behind you – How the past interweaves your present & future
 
Imagine you are sitting in a move theatre. Naturally you are facing the screen, where the action seems to be taking place in front of you. It takes place in front of you, but you know that what appears in front of you is being projected from behind, from the movie camara in the projector room. In the physical world we know this, but in the inner world of our mind and perception, there is another projection going on, that of our past onto our present and future.
It looks a bit like this: Your present moment and future experience are like the projector screen, but it actually contains content and images of it’s own. However, there is also a series of images projected upon our present moment ‘screen’, coming from our past, and the story that we tell ourselves about the past. To give a few examples:

  • If at school I was made to feel like an ‘outsider’ by the other children, I may take that feeling of being an outsider into my adult relationships, and that feeling may determine much of how I relate to others socially
  • My parents and teachers’ ways of dealing with emotion will be something that I have absorbed and tend to imitate in my ways of dealing with my own emotion
  • My sense of what is possible and appropriate for me in terms of future happiness & wealth may have a lot to do with the social and cultural environment within which I was brought up

 
Not all past memory and projection is bad, in fact some of it can be very positive. However, for all of us in one way or another, even if we consider ourselves a well adjusted individual, we carry memories of unresolved tension & emotional conflict that are interfering with our ability to process our present and future effectively.
 
Going into the projector room
Practicing mindfulness therapeutically in this sense means revisiting our past in a conscious manner, in order to recognise and release these past traumas and ‘kinks’ in our memory. This is a bit like going back into the projector room in the cinema, and getting the know the different types of film that get projected regularly onto the ‘projector screen’ of your daily life. You then start to see these old movies as they start to come up in everyday situations, and you begin to be able to choose other options and behaviour, rather than always choosing the old suggestions and repeating them.
 
Basic principles around the qualities of therapeutic mindfulness
Here is a brief set of pointing out instructions as to how a person might begin enquiring around his or her past in a therapeutic manner:

  1. Establish a quiet space to sit in contemplation, establish an inner mood and atmosphere of safety, warmth and curiosity
  2. Pick a domain of your past that you wish to explore. This could be a period of your childhood, a past relationship, or a more recent event that you feel somewhat disturbed by. Let your attention orientate around that time, and let memories start to arise
  3. As memories (or sometimes the absence of memories) begin to arise, gently remain present to them with a degree of warm acceptance, even if the memories that come up are painful. At this stage you are not trying to ‘fix’ them, more just use awareness and acceptance as the method by which the memories that hold trapped and unresolved emotions can come to the light of conscious awareness and be released.
  4. Initially practice doing this for short, manageable periods of time, gradually extending the time you spend as your confidence and comfort level increases.

The aim here is to get to know your past better, and the way in which it impinges upon your present. The awareness and acceptance of such experiences can also often go some way to ‘healing’ and releasing the unresolved trauma, but our main aim here is simply to get to know and recognize when our past is being projected upon our present & future.

Related article: Appreciating the past to liberate the future

© Toby Ouvry 2023, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Tues/Weds Nov 14th/15th – Seasonal class: Deepavali -connecting to your inner light

Integral Meditation Asia

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