Category: Mindful Resilience

Key Practices for building mindful resilience (Video and article)

Post author By Toby
Post date November 6, 2019

“Mindful resilience is the capacity to remain actively aware, creatively productive, constantly learning, happy and effective in life and at work, even when faced with pressure, stress, and tension from both within our mind and from our external environment.”

Dear Integral MeditatorsThis weeks article is one that I’ve published in conjunction with The Core Colective, it looks at areas of mindfulness that relate specifically to developing resilience.

Wishing you strength of body, mind and heart,

Toby

Faced with pressure, stress and tension? Try these ky practices to develop mindful resilience

Mindful resilience is the capacity to remain actively aware, creatively productive, constantly learning, happy and effective in life and at work, even when faced with pressure, stress, and tension from both within our mind and from our external environment.

If you’ve gone on meditation and mindfulness retreats yourself, you’ll know the wonderful feeling of being inspired to take the mindfulness back to the real world. Fast forward to the moment you touch down at home, back to your usual routine, and you find the state of mind you attained on your retreat, hijacked from you.

Sustaining mindfulness isn’t challenging for you alone. This chalenge inspired Toby to come up with a well-rounded and resilient mindfulness training to enable people to develop mindful resilience as a way of life through mindfulness and meditation practices.

Below is a list of what Toby believes, from practical experiences, are key practices to developing mindful resilience: Read full article

Alternatively you can watch Toby’s 45 seconds to greater inner resilience:

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday November 16th, 11.30am-1pm – Get your meditation pratice started now – The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday November 23rd, 10am-1pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels and for Self-Healing

Starts Sunday November 3rd – A six week mindfulness course for adults with ADHD

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Wednesday 6th November – Toby is a speaker at Naked Nights Presents: Religion In Our Modern World – The balance of tradition and modernity

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation in singapore, mindful resilience, mindfulness in Singapore, stress transformation

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Mindfully working with your physical heart

Post author By Toby
Post date October 31, 2019

“The principle healing agent with mindfulness is always conscious awareness itself. But there are other emotional and mental healing agents that naturally start to flow in as a result of the primary act of conscious attention.”

Dear Integral Meditators,This weeks article focuses on the physical heart as your object of mindful attention. Enjoy!

In the spirit of heart,

Toby

Meditating with your physical heart

Mindfulness and meditation have a capacity to help the health of your physical heart, and other parts of your body. These are complementary to other strategies that we have around diet, exercise, medication and so forth. The principle healing agent with mindfulness is always conscious awareness itself. But there are other emotional and mental healing agents that naturally start to flow in as a result of the primary act of conscious attention. With this in mind here are some simple ways to get started. They can be practiced together as a sequence, or individually, as you prefer:

Becoming aware of the physical heat and heartbeat: Here you simply focus your attention in the area of the chest where your physical heart is located, and sense onto it, seeing what you notice. After a while you will have a sense of your heart as an object on your chest, and you will feel the heart-beat. You can also place your hand over the chest over your heart, and use that to sense the heart-beat. Just commune with your heart gently through mindful attention.
Breathing with the flow of blood: With this practice, focus on your heart and heartbeat. Sense the network of arteries and veins thru-out your body. Sense the flow of blood thru your entire body. As you breathe out, be aware of the blood flowing out into your body through your arteries. As you breathe in be aware of the blood flowing back to your heart through the veins. Relax into this process for as long as you wish.
Working with the emotional qualities of the physical heart: As you focus on your physical heart, be aware of any emotions present within the heart. As you breathe in soften and open your heart, allowing yourself to feel them, as you breathe out relax into the emotions present, letting them be released or enjoyed, as feels appropriate to you.
Working with ‘heart qualities’: as a variation on exercise 3, you can select particular ‘heart qualities’ that you want to bring into your heart, for example care, courage, love or compassion. As you breathe in feel the energy of the emotional quality gathering and building in your physical heart, as you breathe out feel it spreading out from your heart into the rest of your body. Build a strong sense of the presence of that emotion in your heart, and feel it gently pumping and flowing our into the rest of your body. Feel a strong connection between your physical body and the energy of this emotion.

When you do these, perhaps it will be the first time that you have ever spent so much time paying attention directly to your physical heart. It can be a very powerful experience, and the beginning of a long, healthy and fulfilling collaboration between you and your physical heart!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Tuesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Starts Sunday November 3rd – A six week mindfulness course for adults with ADHD

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags heart meditation, integral meditation, integral mindfulness, mindfulness meditation, wellness meditation

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Taking the big picture view

Post author By Toby
Post date October 23, 2019

“One big source of stress and dis-ease in our life is that we often get caught in the small picture, the details of what we are doing or participating in. We lose our sense of the big picture, and the objectivity and balance that it gives us”

Dear Integral Meditators,

One ‘mindful position’ that delivers a lot of value to almost all my coaching clients is practising the discipline of holding what I call the ‘big picture view’. This weeks article has a look at what this means, and how to start!

In the spirit of the big picture,

Toby

Upcoming classes and courses:

This weeks Wednesday evening classes will be focused on how to rest at ease in meditation and in life by overcoming our Top-dog/Underdog complex. Its a lot of fun to do, and it opens up a whole new world of loving self and loving others!

Also, I just wanted to give the heads up for two new courses starting at the beginning of November, both unique!:
Starts Sunday November 3rd – A six week mindfulness course for adults with ADHD
Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Taking the big picture view

One ‘mindful position’ that delivers a lot of value to almost all my coaching clients is practising the discipline of holding what I call the ‘big picture view’. One big source of stress and dis-ease in our life is that we often get caught in the small picture, the details of what we are doing or participating in. As a result, we lose our sense of the big picture, and the relative objectivity and balance that comes from this position. The following exercise is a visual and imaginative form that we can use to reconnect to the big picture, and release our often-compulsive obsession with the details.

Step 1: Imagine your current fixation with the ‘small picture’ is like being caught up in the swirl of a busy city, with people milling all around you, all sorts of noise and activity pulling you her and there. Its difficult to stay in balance! Now imagine a place that you know, for example at the top of a hill or mountain, where when you are standing there you have a large, ‘big picture view’ of the landscape around you. You can see the valleys and plains below, perhaps in the distance a town or city. There is a big sky above and around you. The clouds pass, the sun shines, you feel the bigger rhythms of nature. You can feel yourself reconnecting with your objectivity, your big picture, and as a result you feel your body, mind and heart relaxing. As you sit, simply breathe and relax as you look over your landscape. Explore what it feels like to be centred in the ‘big picture view’, not just mentally, but emotionally, and as a feeling in your body. Stay here as long as you like, let yourself ‘soak’ in the experience.

Step 2: Shortly before you finish the meditation, bring to mind some of the things that you have gotten caught up in in your life, where you have lost the big picture view. Practise seeing them with this new ‘big picture view’ as if viewing them like a landscape from a high position.

Step 3: When back in your daily life, occasionally come back to your experience of the ‘big picture view’. Notice whether you are still in touch with it or not. If necessary, spend a few moments re-connecting to your objectivity, and relaxing as you regain your perspective.

Related articles: The conscious self in the landscape of the mind
Letting your inner landscape come alive
Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday October 19th, 4-5.30pm – Get your meditation pratice started now – The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Weds 30th Oct & Friday 1st Nov, 7.30-8.30pm – Samhain Meditation – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Starts Sunday November 3rd – A six week mindfulness course for adults with ADHD

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation in singapore, mindfulness in Singapore

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Choosing to be on Your Own Side

Post author By Toby
Post date October 15, 2019

‘Are you for yourself or against yourself?’

Dear Integral Meditators,

Of the articles I have written, this is one of my favorites.

In the spirit of being on our own sides,

Toby

Choosing to be on Your Own Side

When you take a creative chance in your business and it does not come out ideally, do you berate yourself for being stupid, or do you congratulate yourself for your creative courage and learn from what you did and what happened?

When you are experiencing a difficult emotional state, do you take the time to express support and warmth to yourself or do you just try and bury the emotion and distract yourself from what you are feeling because of the discomfort?

When you are tired do you let the physical fatigue turn into a series of negative thoughts about yourself, your life and those around you, or do you consciously extend support to your tired body and make the effort to create a positive inner dialogue to help cope with the fatigue until you can get some rest?

When you ask someone you fancy out for a date and they say no, do you make a point of feeling good that you had the emotional courage to ask, or do you cringe with self-embarrassment and wallow in self loathing?

Are you for yourself or against yourself?
This is one of the most productive mindfulness questions to ask yourself, every day. Each day in many ways, in thought and deed, in subtle and not so subtle actions, we are either expressing warmth, support and friendship to ourself, or we are expressing the opposite; coldness, judgment, self-loathing, self-sabotaging, self-isolating and so on.

To be for yourself is not negatively selfish, it is simply to recognize the your most important intimate relationship is ultimately with yourself; you are the one you have to spend 24 hours a day with, if you get your relationship to yourself right you are setting the stage for success in your life on multiple levels.

No one else can make your relationship to yourself right for you, you have to tread the journey to being truly for yourself alone. You can receive help and advice of course (this article pointing the way for example), but the moment to moment effort to be on your own side can only be exerted by you for you.

Today are you going to be the one supporting and encouraging yourself to the next level of creative expression in your life, or are you going to be the main thing that is holding you back, keeping you scared?

Be on your own side, be for yourself, not against youself. You do have a choice, it is up to you.

Related Article: Life-fullness

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2019.

Upcoming classes and workshops

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (Restarts 21st August) – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings (Restarts 13th August), 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday October 19th, 4-5.30pm – Get your meditation pratice started now – The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Weds 30th Oct & Friday 1st Nov, 7.30-8.30pm – Samhain Meditation – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Starts Sunday November 3rd – A six week mindfulness course for adults with ADHD

Re-Starts Monday November 4th, 6-7.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, self confidence, self-esteem

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Balancing your knowledge with wisdom (letting go)

Post author By Toby
Post date September 3, 2019

“Knowledge is learning something every day, wisdom is letting go of something every day” – Zen Proverb

Dear Integral Meditators,This weeks article explores how we can balace our accumulation of knowledge with the wisdom of letting go. Enjoy!

In the spirit of wisdom,

Toby

Balancing your knowledge with wisdom (letting go)

“Knowledge is learning something every day, wisdom is letting go of something every day” – Zen Proverb

We all know that feeling of being overwhelmed by the amount of information coming our way in modern day life.
Whilst we definitely need to keep increasing our knowledge, in order to make sure that our wisdom also increases in proportion to our knowledge we also need to spend time dropping our knowledge and resting in a state of simplicity and conscious ‘forgetting’. This means not just once every few months, but once a day!

A practice for letting go of things
Imagine you have a mirror in front of you. As you look in the mirror, you see that you are dressed in a jacket that has many big pockets, and you have a backpack loaded with things strapped to your back. As you start to explore what is in your pockets and in the backpack, you see that it is full of all the knowledge and experience that you have accumulated over the years. They are also full of the emotional baggage that you carry around, your personality, and your desire to ‘fix’ all your problems today. Spend a bit of time just noticing the weight of your accumulated life experience and knowledge, both the good and the bad.
Now I want you to see yourself emptying the pockets, and putting down the backpack. You can even take off the jacket. In fact, you can take off all of your clothes and imagine yourself sitting totally naked if you like! As you put all of this, you can feel your mind, body and heart simplifying, relaxing and becoming lighter. You get in touch with that part of you that is happy just to be and doesn’t have to do all the time. You feel yourself letting go and moving into a space of wise, intelligent presence. Breathe and relax in this space for as long as you like. Try and let your body-mind really get a feel for what it is like to let go of all you know rest in a state of simple, wise, being.
When you have finished, you can put your ‘coat and backpack of knowledge’ back on, but you can now balance your state of doing and knowing with a state of being and letting go.
The point here is not to give up knowing and doing, but to create a complementary state of regenerative, wise being that keeps you light, flexible and joyful.

Mindful of your intensity level

Post author By Toby
Post date June 11, 2019

“By being mindful of our intensity level we can avoid burning out thought long term over-exertion, and also avoid unnecessary under-productivity. It’s an easy way to avoid extremes and hit your ‘sweet spot’ in terms of both quality of life and productivity!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What is your habitual ‘speed and intensity level’? This weeks article explores how you can start to set the pace that serves you in your life!

In the spirit of balanced intensity,

Toby

Mindful of your intensity level

Think about your pace and intensity in life as having four speeds:

1-2 – Sleep or complete relaxation
3-4 – Low effort mode, doing just enough
5-6 – Flow state, a balance of focused effort and relaxation
7-10 – High intensity effort

Take a moment to reflect on which ‘speeds’ you tend to be in for much of your day. As you do so you might start to recognise that you tend to favour one or two speeds, and not the other two. Ideally as mindfulness practitioners, we should be looking to have each of these levels of intensity available to us, and use them consciously according to our need.
So, for example much of the productive part of our day would be at the ‘flow-state’ level of 5-6 on the scale; a balance of focused relaxation. This level enables us to get work done at a pace that is sustainable over a period of time, without getting exhausted or burned out.
Occasionally we might peak up to a high intensity 7-10 when we really want to get something done in a faster way (eg: in an emergency), but then after we would need to consciously dip back down to level 2 (3-4 intensity) for a while in order to restore our energy level. Of course we would be going down to level 1 by getting enough sleep and absolute rest.
The point about this four level structure of intensity is that, if we have it in mind we can then start to mindfully manage our effort and energy during the day. We avoid burning out thought long term over-exertion, and also avoid unnecessary under-productivity. It’s an easy way to avoid extremes and hit your ‘sweet spot’ in terms of both quality of life and productivity!
A useful question to ask ourselves is ‘How much effort and intensity do I need to compete this task?’ Quite often I find that its slightly less than I think. If I relax a little and bring just enough intensity to the task, that brings me to the optimal level of effort.

Article © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 1st, 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 15th June, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Tuesday/Wednesday 18th&19th June – Summer Solstice balancing and renewing meditation

Saturday 22nd June, 2-5pm – Going From Over-whelmed to Over-well: Meditation for Quietening the Mind – a three hour workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindfulness One Minute Mindfulness Presence and being present

Mindful thinking: 15% less, 15% better

Post author By Toby
Post date May 28, 2019

“One of the basic principles of integral mindfulness is to emphasize quality over quantity, with the recognition that, if you slow down enough to do things properly, the actual quantity of things that you get done is often more.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

I’ve been going through a busy time at work and with a house move last few weeks. In the article below I share a method I’ve been using to help deal with the stress!
The Tuesday and Wednesday evening meditation classes will be on the subject ‘How to meditate on Non-doing’, if you fancy coming along your welcome!

Classes and workshops for June are beneath the article.

In the spirit of thinking better,

Toby

Mindful thinking: 15% less, 15% better

One of the basic principles of integral mindfulness is to emphasize quality over quantity, with the recognition that also, if you slow down enough to do things properly, the quantity of things that you get done is often more.
With regard to thinking, one of the mindful principles that I have been applying is to try and think 15% less in terms of volume of thoughts, and then make the actual quality of my thoughts 15% better. I have found that by deliberately slowing my mind in this way I:

Become a lot more conscious and deliberate about what I think and don’t think
I have time to notice thought patterns that are repeating themselves and making me feel negative. I can make the choice simply to stop these thoughts, because I am going slow enough to see them
The quality of my thoughts kind of naturally improves from the ‘thinking slower’ part. The more consciously I think, the easier it is to choose patterns of thinking that are effective, and that ‘frame’ what I am experiencing in a constructive way

In the last few weeks, as well as being busy at work, I have been moving house, with all the logistical and emotional stress that that entails. With so many things to do, it is super easy for the speed of my mind to accelerate to a very stressful speed due to the overstimulation. So I have been practicing the ‘15%’ technique above, dealing with the thoughts that come up by deliberately not over-hurrying, and focusing on quality of thought, rather than quantity.

This week you might like to try it, see how it can help you navigate your thoughts and life-challenges more effectively!

Related article: Mental framing – Sculpting your view of life

Article © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, June 1st, 15th, 29th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Tuesday/Wednesday 18th&19th June – Summer Solstice balancing and renewing meditation
FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 15th June, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever
Saturday 22nd June, 2-5pm – Going From Over-whelmed to Over-well: Meditation for Quietening the Mind – a three hour workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation in singapore, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation

A Mind of Ease Life-fullness Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership One Minute Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation Uncategorized

Mindful ergonomics – Making the most of your energy

Post author By Toby
Post date April 30, 2019

“Energy saved is energy you can be using elsewhere in your life to find fulfilment and wellbeing. How can you be more mindfully ergonomic with your energy today?”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What if you were able to create 10% more energy in your life today, through mindfulness? The article below explores simple ways to start!

In the spirit of energy,

Toby

Mindful ergonomics – Making the most of your energy

When I was in my last year of college, I found myself suffering from chronically low levels of energy. This was quite an issue because my degree was a specialization in sculpture, and I was doing a lot of heavy lifting in the daytime. So in addition to the intellectual and creative demands, there was also the physicality of the work too. One of the ways in which I got through this successfully was by paying attention to the Qi gong principle of not using any more muscle effort than was necessary for any given movement. For example:

When I was lifting a heavy bag of clay or plaster I would only use the muscles I needed; grip strength, shoulders, lower back, glutes and thighs. The rest of my body I kept as relaxed as possible
When I was walking I walked using only the leg muscles and the ‘swing rhythm’ of the arm movement. I relaxed the body as much as I could when walking

After a short while of doing this I realized how much unnecessary effort I had been putting into my physical actions, and how much physical energy I could save through this simple mindfulness practice.
Nowadays, this isn’t a practice that I limit to the physical world. I continually notice that there are ways in which I can get ‘less for more’ in the positive sense of the word. for example:

This afternoon I was having trouble organizing my education program for next month. I could notice my instinctive response to ‘try harder’ to fix the schedule in my diary. I consciously relaxed, took the intensity of my energy down a little, and worked patiently, step by step. The problem was then resolved without much energy or emotional friction
I notice I can’t choose the emotions that I’m having in the moment, but I can choose how much energy I give them. Anxiety that I am unconsciously feeding and investing energy in is far more draining than anxiety I hold lightly and choose not to give too much energy to

Energy saved is energy you can be using elsewhere in your life to find fulfilment and wellbeing. How can you be more mindfully ergonomic with your energy today?

Article © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (East Coast)

Monday 6.30-7.20 & Wednesday 12.30-1.30 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, May 11th & 18th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday 4th May, 10am-4.30pm – An introduction to meditation from the perspective of Shamanism

Tues 7th & Wednesday 8th May – Monthly Astrological meditation: Taurus – I have: Being mindful of your relationship to manifestation, wealth and possessions

Saturday 11th May, 1:00pm – 4:00pm – Mindful self confidence – Developing your self-confidence, self-belief and self-trust

Tuesday 14th & Wednesday 15th May – Wesak meditation on compassion

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 18th May, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching * Meditation Technology

Tags energy meditation, integral meditation, integral mindfulness, mindful energy, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation

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Self-acceptance – You are not the enemy!

Post author By Toby
Post date April 23, 2019

“Self-acceptance involves the ability to hold ourselves lightly and playfully…well-practised, self-acceptance leads to self-empowerment and enjoyment, not resignation!”

Dear Toby

The state of self-acceptance is a major asset to our wellbeing. The article below explores some pointers for beginning your own mindful exploration of self-acceptance. If you enjoy it, then it will be the subject of this weeks’ Tuesday and Wednesday evening class, so feel free to come along!
And a final reminder of the beginners meditation workshop this Saturday!

In the spirit of self-acceptance,

Toby

Self-acceptance – You are not the enemy!

One definition of self-acceptance that I have found enduringly useful is from Nat Branden who defined it as ‘A refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with yourself’. This means:

The principle of being on your own side in life
The principle of accepting who you are and proceeding from there
The principle of lightness and self-responsibility

The principle of being on your own side in life
This basically means being committed to treating yourself as a good friend would. When you are going through a difficult time, a good friend is one who listens to you with care, does not judge (unless asked to), who holds space for you with support and warmth, and when necessary acts to defend you. Imagine you are that friend to yourself and try practising accordingly.

The principle of accepting who you are and proceeding from there
We are often our own harshest critic. Self-acceptance involves accepting the things that we find difficult about ourselves without self-hatred or loathing. This includes:

Emotions or patterns of thought that we have that we find undesirable
Aspects of our appearance that we find unattractive
Past actions, our life circumstances

With acceptance of all these things we can then proceed to create a strategy to change them in ways that are realistic and appropriate, but our motivation changes from fixing something unacceptable that we hate, to improving something that we have already accepted and are at peace with.

The principle of lightness
When we get stuck in an adversarial relationship to ourself, or hate who we are, it can often feel very heavy, dark and serious. Self-acceptance involves the ability to hold ourselves lightly and playfully. This in turn makes our ability to take responsibility for change in our life easier. Well-practised, self-acceptance leads to self-empowerment and enjoyment, not resignation!

Article © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, April 20th & 27th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 27th April, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday 4th May, 10am-4.30pm – An introduction to meditation from the perspective of Shamanism

Tags integral meditation, integral mindfulness, meditation in singapore, mindful self-acceptance, mindfulness meditation, self-acceptance meditation

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From resignation to positive acceptance

Post author By Toby
Post date April 16, 2019

“If we can make a clear distinction between acceptance and resignation, we can start practicing positive acceptance on the one hand and avoid resignation on the other”.

Dear Integral Meditators,

I hope you enjoy this week’s article on acceptance. A quick reminder of the Stress-transformation coaching offer details below. If your reading this and its past the expiry date, let me know and we’ll see what we can work out…

In the spirit of dynamic mindfulness,

Toby

From resignation to positive acceptance

For many of us there can be resistance to the idea of acceptance because we mistake it with resignation or giving up. It can be useful to make a clear distinction between them, so we can practice positive acceptance on the one hand and avoid resignation on the other.

Healthy acceptance involves a wholehearted acceptance of our reality, of something that has happened. It is reality oriented and acts as a basis for moving forward:

I accept that although I wanted to get the job, I didn’t.
I accept that this person manipulated me, I can see it now.
I accept that I am still a bit sad about X…

For acceptance to move to resignation, there needs to be added to this a ‘negative’ belief about our life in general:

I accept that although I wanted to get the job, I didn’t, and this always happens to me, I never get the break!
I accept that this person manipulated me, I can see it now. The world is full of manipulators trying to make a victim of me…
I accept that I am still a bit sad about X, why is my life always so full of misery?

To avoid resignation and move to ‘positive’ or dynamic acceptance, we can practice mindfully adding a sentence to it that helps us move forward optimistically:

I accept that although I wanted to get the job, I didn’t. But I learned a lot, and I have another interview tomorrow!
I accept that this person manipulated me, I can see it now. Boy, this experience is going to help me be less naïve in the future, I’m glad I had it.
I accept that I am still a bit sad about X…but I’m less sad than I was last month, and its natural to feel sad when you lose something that you value…

What are the situations in your life where you can practice moving from resignation to positive acceptance?

Related article: Acceptance and forgiveness – The difference

Article © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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