Tag: meditation

The three levels of gratitude

Post author By Toby
Post date September 3, 2010

Gratitude is mentioned a lot as a spiritual practice, and with good reason as it is an important one. What you may not have heard before is that gratitude goes through stages of growth, it is not just one practice that stays the same thru-out our journey, it evolves as we evolve. With this in mind here are three basic stages of gratitude that we need to pass through:

Ingratitude or an absence of gratefulness – At this stage our ego is very contracted and small in its thinking, the things that we have to be grateful for we very quickly take for granted, we have no idea or feel for the interconnectedness of the web of life and the kindness that we are shown directly and indirectly by so many beings on so many levels. We live our lives in a state of perpetual discontent and “lack”. Our mind is like a closed window to the light and grace of gratitude.
Conscious gratefulness for the manifest good in our life – The second stage of gratefulness is where we have developed some form of evolutionary aspiration in our mind, and we recognize the benefits, both for ourself and others, of appreciating the good, the beautiful and the true in our life. Each day is spent consciously taking into account what we have to be grateful for and reminding ourselves not to slip back into a state of taking-things-for-granted-ness. This stage of gratefulness sees a battle between the consciously grateful mind that is growing and evolving in our life, and the old ungrateful ego-contraction that it is trying to replace (and that tends to be stubborn as a mule!)
Spontaneous gratefulness – This third stage of gratefulness arises from a direct perception and experience of our living relationship as an individual to the evolving Life-force of the Universe. More traditionally you could call this a gratitude for being in a living, participating relationship to God and the wonder of creation.

Whether you choose the words Life, the Universe, God or otherwise, the subjective experience here is basically a spontaneous sense of gratitude that arises effortlessly due to our constant connection and ‘simpatico’ with the dancing energies of life and the universe as they continue on the journey and adventure of evolution. At this stage gratitude has become a state of being rather than something that we have to battle constantly to maintain.

Initially we have to work quite hard to journey from stages one to stage two. After a period of years, depending upon our effort we will find ourself starting to ‘peak experience’ into level three for short periods of time, then regressing back. Eventually we are able to stabilize our mind at level three as our “default gratitude attitude”, at which point we can truly have said to have a realization of gratitude.

Upcoming events with Toby:

Tuesday 7^th September evening meditation class – Spiritual intelligence as a path to personal to personal, integrated enlightenment

New series of Three Body Qi Gong™ classes in September and October

Article on “What is Three Body Qi Gong™ (and why you should be interested in practicing it)”

Tags evolution, grace, gratitude, meditation, participation, spiritual intelligence, three levels

Awareness and insight Inner vision Motivation and scope Presence and being present spiritual intelligence

Finding the balance between freedom and control

Post author By Toby
Post date August 26, 2010

There is an eternal balancing act that we all have to find in our life between freedom and structure, or freedom and control. This basic polarity works on all levels. For example:

On the physical level if you want the freedom of good health it is important to have the structure of a balanced exercise routine and diet
If you want the freedom to engage in a creative project (musical, artistic etc…), you need to have the discipline and organizational ability to find a source of financial stability in your life that will facilitate that.
If you want the mental freedom to experience pleasant feelings and thoughts in your mind, you need to have the inner structures/control in and of your mindset to deal with negative and fear based thoughts.
If you want the spiritual freedom to enjoy the bliss of your pure, natural consciousness free from conceptions, you need to have the discipline, control and structure of a daily meditation practice.

So, basically on every level you find this interplay between freedom and control in your life, and mastering that balance is an ever changing and fundamental part of your overall process of integrated mastery…

As I final point I would like to point out a three level structure for mastering the balance between freedom and control (I seem to have been working a lot in threes in the last few articles!):

In the beginning we oscillate between freedom and control; either we are “letting ourselves go” and losing our structure, control and discipline, or we are “getting back on the wagon” and re-asserting control of our life, meditation practice etc…
On the next level we start to enjoy the freedom of control, we appreciate that freedom is facilitated by a certain degree of healthy control and structure in our life. At this stage freedom and control move into increasing levels of harmony and mutuality with each other.
On the third level Freedom becomes control and control becomes freedom. Discipline, control and structure become effortless expressions of our freedom of choice and creativity. Our actions become naturally and beautifully controlled and this in and of itself is an expression of our inner freedom and sense of liberation.

Tags balance, control, freedom, liberation, meditation

Awareness and insight Motivation and scope Presence and being present spiritual intelligence

Understanding three different levels of spiritual intelligence and wisdom

Post author By Toby
Post date August 21, 2010

In general you could say that our spiritual intelligence is a line of development in ourselves like any other (such as cognitive or emotional) that starts at zero (no spiritual intelligence) and matures as we grow as a person. In this context you could say that spiritual intelligence is that part of our self that addresses the question “What is of ultimate importance or meaning in my life?”

You can also define spiritual intelligence as a is a high level of intelligence or wisdom that we are trying to bring all of our other intelligences up to as we grow. If you define it this way you can measure the growth of spiritual intelligence in three stages as follows:

Pre-individuation – This is a stage of life and education where the focus is on receiving wisdom, knowledge and understanding that from our ancestors and elders, from both conventional and non-conventional sources. At this stage we have not really distinguished ourselves as a fully developed individual, we are very much at the stage of absorbing and assimilating information.

Individuation – This second stage of growth is where we sift through th information and knowledge that we have received from stage one, choosing to accept some of it and reject other aspects of it. This process of consciously deciding that which we accept and that which we reject and articulating it in our life and personal philosophy makes us into an individual, hopefully a considered and well rounded one (!)

Trans-individuation – When we reach this stage our intelligence and wisdom have matured to a spiritual level. At this level we no longer experience ourself as the owner of a personal wisdom and intelligence, rather the wisdom and intelligence of the Universe or God moves through us. at this stage we transcend ourself as an individual. Our mind and body become a vehicle for the wisdom and transcendent loving intelligence of the divine, which manifests on the Earthly plane through us.

So, in summary the journey to true spiritual intelligence involves:

1. Digesting the wisdom and knowledge of our ancestors

2. Fully articulating ourself as an individual

3. Going beyond our individual ego and becoming a vehicle through which transcendent wisdom and intelligence can function in as uninhibited a manner as possible.

A final point here which is worth reflecting on; when we get to level three, trans-individuation, this does not mean that we loose our uniqueness or individuality (which is a common mis-conception), rather that our individuality is transcended and then subsequently included within a much larger and more expansive sense of self. Indeed, as we continue to go beyond our individuality, ideally our individuality will continue to grow, expand and develop in a holistic and healthy way. What I am saying here is a little bit different from the traditional view of enlightenment, where often the individuality is viewed as “obsolete” or meaningless once enlightenment has been attained.

If you found this article interesting, you might consider attending the upcoming series “Meditation techniques for developing your spiritual wisdom and intelligence” that I will be starting this coming Tuesday 24th August, available as recordings for those not able to attend in person.

Tags indivituality, inner growth, meditation, spiritual intelligence, transcendent, wisdom

Awareness and insight Concentration Inner vision Meditation techniques Presence and being present spiritual intelligence

The three stages of meditation practice as an art-form

Post author By Toby
Post date August 19, 2010

The first stage is using meditation as an art-form to learn to calm the mind, overcome distractions and develop inner peace.

The second stage is using the inner peace and focus you get from the first stage in order to deepen your experience of concentration, awareness and insight.

The third stage is accessing and stabilizing the subtle inner abilities/gifts that you become aware of through stages one and two; understanding what they and learning how to apply them practically/creatively as a way of being of service to the world.

The first stage you could call the art of peace, the second stage you could call the art of concentration and insight, the third stage you could call the art of creative or spiritual service.

Let’s say you start meditating tomorrow, for twenty minutes a day for the next fifteen years. By the end of the first five years you will have probably become competent at stage one. By the end of ten years you will probably have become competent at stage two. By the end of fifteen years you will have a working knowledge of stage three. This will give you a foundation.

Fifteen years may seem like a long time, but if you are persistent for the first two or three years, it may well be that you will have ceased being all that goal oriented and learned to simply enjoy the journey that the art of meditation offers to the human traveller.

As the practitioner of any genuine art form will tell you, there are no short cuts to genuine mastery!

PS: Brief plug for the new series of meditation classes on “How to develop our spiritual intelligence and inner wisdom” starting this Tuesday 24^th August, I guarantee it will be of interest to any meditator or aspiring meditator. For those not in Singapore it is available as a series of three recordings.

Tags art-form, awareness, Concentration, consciousness, insight, meditation, subtle inner abilities

Awareness and insight Presence and being present spiritual intelligence

How the balance between doing and being evolves as you evolve your consciousness

Post author By Toby
Post date August 13, 2010

For many people interest in meditation comes from the stress of the prevalence of doing and achieving in contemporary society. Because there is so much busy-ness and activity, we feel a need to retreat into a state of pure being-ness where we can rest and recuperate our energies before returning to the fray of our daily life. Meditation provides us with regular contact with such a being-state.

For such a person the balance of doing and being is found by oscillating between the activity of their daily life and tasks, and their daily meditation practice when they emphasize relaxation, beingness, non-doing and non-thinking.

However, if such a person persists in their meditation, there will come a point where they will start to observe that the state of being-ness that they experience in meditation starts to bleed into their active states; they are able to maintain a sense of centre and balance even when under stress or in conditions of relatively frenetic activity.

At this point the meditator has evolved their sense of doing and being. What they have started to see is that doing is really a sub-set or sub-category of being. Now in their life they have two types of being-ness; in meditation they practice pure-being, and in their daily life they practice doing-being. Doing-being is a far less stressful way of doing things than a state of doing that is disconnected to our sense of being.

If the person persists in their practice then increasingly they will find that their actions become a vehicle for their being-ness, that is to say that the actions of the person are always accompanied by a certain quality and depth which makes the actions themselves causes of happiness and balance.

In summary, three stages of the evolution of the balance between doing and being:

Meditation as a way of cultivating our being-ness so as to balance all the busy-ness, stress and action in our life
Doing becomes a sub-set or sub-category of being; In meditation we practice pure being-ness, in daily life we practice doing-being
Doing becomes an expression of our being

Tags balance, being, consciousness, doing, evolution, meditation

Awareness and insight Meditation techniques Motivation and scope Presence and being present spiritual intelligence

Why worry when you can pray: A five minute active meditation for overcoming worry and anxiety

Post author By Toby
Post date July 29, 2010

How often do you spend time feeling worried and anxious about things in your life that you care about but cannot control? It can often be much more beneficial, rather than struggling with the worry to simply acknowledge it and then pass it over to a higher power through a simple, improvised, on the spot prayer. In the exercise below I address all the prayers to “God”, but when you are doing this yourself you can fill in whatever expression of a higher power feels comfortable to you:

Sit comfortably; spend a short while centring yourself by focusing on the breathing or other appropriate method. Then just let your mind wander onto the things that it feels anxious about. Each time you are able to identify a cause of worry and anxiety, offer up a short prayer and then release the worry to a higher power.

For example:

1) I notice that I am anxious about an argument with my partner or family member.

So I offer a prayer: “Dear God please help me resolve the conflict between myself and X, I am not sure what to do about it, but I pray for your grace and intervention”.

I then release the prayer and let go of the worry and relax for a few breaths.

2) Then a worry comes up about a talk that I have to do tomorrow to a large group.

So I pray: “Dear God please help me to find appropriate material for tomorrows talk, and to be able to present it in a way that the audience will connect with.”

I then release the prayer and let go of the worry.

So, the entire five or so minutes is simply spent oscillating between these three activities; noting a worry, praying about it, and releasing it to a higher power. At the end of the meditation I recommend you spend a little while just resting in and enjoying the release/letting-go stage of the exercise.

Tags letting go, meditation, prayer, stress relief

Awareness and insight Inner vision Meditation techniques Presence and being present spiritual intelligence

Tackling a-void-ance: Meditation for healing and transforming loneliness and emptiness

Post author By Toby
Post date July 27, 2010

Unless we are careful, a lot of the things that we do in our life are simply activities that we engage in to avoid the underlying sense of loneliness, emptiness, incompleteness, feeling or separation, or quite simply the VOID that we sense inside. The motivation for getting in a relationship for example can primarily be driven by a feeling that we lack something within ourself, and we need someone else to make up for that lack. Thus much of what we do is simply a-void-ance, a way of dancing around the big hole that we sense in the centre of our life, and trying to do everything in our power to avoid acknowledging or confronting it. The following meditation/contemplation is designed to help us look honestly at the void in our life and see that there may be something in it that we did not suspect.

Meditation on a-void-ance

Sit down and spend a short while just relaxing and centring yourself.

Bring to mind times in your day when you feel a sense of loneliness, incompleteness, emptiness, a negative void. Instead of avoiding these feelings, move into them, accept them without comment and allow yourself to feel them deeply. Use the breathing to breathe with them if you like.

Now gently let go of the manifest feelings of loneliness/emptiness that you feel, and just focus instead on the sense of space that accompanies these feelings. Try to experience just the space, just the void in your being. Breathe, relax, allow yourself to sink into that inner space that so often you try and avoid. It is almost like when you have been fighting going to sleep, and then you just decide to give in, and allow yourself to fall asleep.

Now within that empty void sense a light, like the sun gradually dawning over the horizon. What was once a dark empty space now becomes a void filled with light and radiance. The space is still there, the void is still there but it is filled with life, brightness and luminosity, like a sun shining from within the depths of space. Remain with this experience for as long as you like.

Tags emptiness, meditation, relaxation, therapy, uniting mind and feelings, void

Meditation techniques Motivation and scope spiritual intelligence

Is your meditation a type of therapy, an art-form or a spiritual practice?

Post author By Toby
Post date July 19, 2010

Your meditation is a therapy if you are doing it to fix something inside you that is broken. Meditating to cope with stress, heal an emotional wound, to pacify/heal our addictions and demons is a form of therapy.

Your meditation is an art-form if you are using it to push the boundaries of your inner skill, power and capability. It is where you take risks, push the limits of what you thought possible, and experience new ways of seeing, feeling creating.

Your meditation is a spiritual practice when you rest in a state of no boundaries, where the barriers between yourself and the universe dissolve into light and there is just pure being-ness, one-ness, opulence and radiance.

The chances are that your meditation oscillates between these three types in an organic way, but it is extremely useful to be able to differentiate them in these three ways because:

– There are times when you need to stop trying to fix that which is broken in you and start taking some risks

– There are times when pushing your boundaries is doing more harm than good, and you need to create a healing space for yourself

– There are times when you need to get off your butt and stop getting absorbed in the timeless wonder of it all

– There are times when you need to take a holiday from the bounds of time and space and rest in the regenerative-radiance of your original being

– There are times when you’re universal, original being explodes into action and demands that you start expressing your inner and outer art-forms. If so, you’d better act on this or watch out!

Tags art-form, meditation, meditation tachnique, spiritual practice, therapy

Concentration Meditation techniques spiritual intelligence

Concentrating from the Heart – Both meditation and life are much easier when your head and your heart are in the same place!

Post author By Toby
Post date July 18, 2010

One of the perennial questions that I get asked, and that meditators across the world struggle with on a daily basis is “How can I keep my mind focused in meditation? It seems so difficult!” Here is one technique that I practice and sometimes teach to people that I describe as ‘learning to concentrate from the heart’.

It is based around the observation that, if you are engaged with an object of meditation emotionally and from your heart, then your mind will tend to find it easy to keep its focus. However, if you are trying to focus your mind in meditation but your heart is somewhere else, then you it will be a constant struggle as your mind strives to be in one place, and the heart seeks to be in another. Below is a basic technique that is quite easy to understand, and once you have practised it a few times, you will be able to adjust it according to your point of balance and creatively make it your own.

Learning to concentrate from the heart:

1. Bring to mind something that moves your heart and body to a state of love and engaged emotionality. The potential object is very varied here; someone you love, the most significant kiss of your life, sitting by your favourite river, stamp collecting, a past heightened mystical experience, a project that excites you… The main thing is that it moves YOUR heart, engages YOUR emotions, awakens a certain sense of rapture within YOUR heart and body that you can feel tangibly and deeply.

2. Once the feeling is there, use the breathing to breathe the energy of the experience in and out of your heart space (center of your chest). As time goes by, keep the feeling, but allow its intensity to reduce slightly, and gradually increase your focus on the breathing so that the heartfelt emotion is being combined with a single-pointedness of concentration on the breathing.

Practice being able to combine the arousal and engagement of your heart with the single-pointedness of your concentration in this way.

3. When you are familiar with the basic process described in points 1&2, you can then practice shifting your point of focus away from the original object that engaged your heart to a new meditation object. For example you can shift the rapture of your remembrance of your first love (or your first stamp collection) onto a feeling of love for living beings as a whole, Or the feeling of compassion that you had as a nine year old for a kitten to a love for all the animal kingdom.

The main thing I want to flag up with this article is that meditative concentration without engaging the heart is hard work. Meditation with the heart engaged makes it relatively easy to keep focus, and induces the levels of bliss and rapture that we can experience through meditative concentration much more readily and rapidly!

Tags Concentration, focus, head and heart, meditation, uniting mind and feelings

Awareness and insight Meditation techniques

Single-pointedness and going with the flow

Post author By Toby
Post date June 23, 2010

Article subtitle: The two fundamental types of meditation found within eastern teachings, and a practical method for exploring both.

To a person new to meditation, the potential choice of different meditation types and traditions, together with all the different terminology that is used can make for quite a bewildering experience. The fact that the world is rich in spiritual traditions is a cause for rejoicing, but when it comes to the question “which meditation form should I choose” the diversity can be a challenge!

What I propose to do in this article is to point out a basic two fold division within which can be placed almost all of the meditation practices that one may find in the eastern traditions of meditation. Many of the western traditions of meditation also fall into these two categories, but I specifically want to focus on eastern traditions here, as they fit into the two categories much more obviously and systematically. By Eastern Tradition, I mean principally Buddhist and Hindu as these are the two eastern traditions from which spring most of the applied meditation systems that you can find and practice today.
The two fold division I am going to call one pointedness meditation and insight meditation respectively. Here is a brief summary of the meanings of both terms:

One Pointedness Meditation – Focusing the mind on a single object without distraction:
So, one pointedness meditation is essentially a training in concentration. Using one object, such as the breathing, a mantra, a feeling (love, compassion, joy etc…) or a visualized object, the meditator trains him/herself and her mind to focus attention on the object without distraction. The training progresses in stages; First the meditator is only able to focus for a few seconds before getting distracted, but gradually she builds focus until she is able to hold it for a few minutes, then ten, half an hour, one hour and so on, until eventually she can enter into meditation and hold the object in his or her mind without distraction for as long as desired.
For someone engaging in one pointedness practice, meditation is an act of will, one exerts effort to keep one’s attention where it is supposed to be, and not get distracted by extraneous mental activity. It is through this concentration that the meditator makes progress in his path of inner growth and development.
In Tibetan Buddhism this form of meditation is called tranquil abiding meditation, in Theravada Buddhism it is called the jhana or samatha meditation, and in Hindu and yoga meditation practice it is called dharana.

Insight Meditation – Going with the flow:
In the second form of meditation, insight meditation, rather than try and control the mind, the essential point is to witness the mind as an observer. No attempt is made to stop the mind working, the meditator simply sits and takes in all the information that is available to him. He notes the experiences coming from his senses, notes his breathing, the thoughts and feelings flowing through his mind. He also notes the spaces in between the thoughts and feelings in his mind. The only thing that the meditator must NOT do in insight meditation is to get caught up and identified with what is arising in his mind, if he does this then he has lost the thread of his mediation. As soon as he becomes aware that this has happened, he should immediately return to his position as an observer and witness.
As his practice progresses, gradually the flow of thoughts and feelings within his mind recedes, and the true nature of his mind is revealed to him, which is why it is called insight meditation.
In Tibetan Buddhism this is called mahamudra meditation, and/or dzogchen. In Theravada Buddhism is called vipassana meditation, although some vipassana traditions seem to emphasize meditation on the breathing in a way that is more like one pointedness meditation.

For us today in contemporary society, I think both meditations have their merits as both of them teach us useful skills that we can apply practically to our daily lives. One pointedness teaches us focus, strength and stamina whilst insight meditation shows us how to let go, how to allow, go with the flow and to develop our reflective wisdom.
With this in mind I am going to outline below a simple practice that you can do where there is alternation between one pointedness and insight techniques. Practiced together in this way they form a complementary whole where we can develop both skill sets.

Combined one pointedness and insight meditation form:

Setting up the meditation:
Find a comfortable meditation posture on a chair or cross legged on a cushion, the main feature of the posture should be a naturally straight back, with the muscles relaxed, doing only enough work to hold your posture upright and no more.
Once comfortable, make a decision to relax and take your mind away from the business of your life for the period that you have allotted for meditation.
Use the natural process of your breathing to start to bring your mind into the present moment, and onto your body. Once your mind has settled somewhat, become aware of the expression on your face. Raise the corners of your mouth just a few millimeters, so that you are now wearing the expression of a gentle half-smile **(see note below), note that the physical expression of a half smile if held consciously gradually gives rise quite naturally to a naturally positive inner smiling energy.

The main meditation form
Stage 1:
Now, for five breaths, try and focus on the inhalation and out exhalation without distraction. As you breathe in focus your attention on your inner smile, and as you breathe out, feel the energy of the inner smile gently expanding through your body and mind. This is the one-pointedness aspect of the form.
Stage 2:
Once you have completed five breaths without distraction, relax your exclusive attention on the breathing, and just take it easy for a few breaths. Be aware of the whole of your moment to moment experience, the breathing, your senses, your body, the flow of thoughts and feelings though your mind. The only thing you CANNOT do in this phase of the meditation is allow yourself to get lost in thoughts and distractions. You are a witness and observer as you relax and let go! This is the insight meditation aspect of the form.

For the next part of the meditation, just alternate between stages 1 and 2, focusing on the breathing and smiling for five breaths, then relaxing and observing for a few breaths. Do this for as long as feels appropriate.

Optional stage 3:
This is a slightly more advanced stage, but you should find that it comes quite naturally once you have been practicing stages 1 and 2 regularly in your daily meditation. You should find that as you do stages 1 and 2 above, a sense of space and clarity starts to appear quite naturally within your mind, like a clear sky emerging from behind clouds. So, with stage 3, As you do the five breath single pointedness section, rather than focusing on your inner smile as you breathe, focus single pointedly on the sense of inner space as you breathe in and out. Then, as you relax for a few breaths as in stage 2, rather than focusing on the stream of thoughts and feelings flowing through your mind, instead focus on the spaces between the thoughts and feelings.
In this way you can use the one pointedness part of the meditation and the insight part in a complementary way to gradually journey deeper into the experience of inner space and clarity within your mind.

Tags Concentration, flow, meditation, single pointed