Month: November 2024

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A Mind of Ease Concentration Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Tree of Life Zen Meditation

Your basic mandala of presence – The four trees

“Whenever you feel scattered, sit in your mandala of presence, & feel the return of your basic sanity”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article explores the idea and practice of a ‘Meditation mandala’ that can be used in various ways to improve the elements of your practice, enjoy!

This week’s Tues/Weds meditation session is on “Envisioning & presence, climbing the mindful mountain”,
And this Saturday at 30th  1700 SG time is the Engaged mindfulness & meditation online class on the subject of the three C’s of engaged mindfulness. 

In the spirit of presence,

Toby
 


Tues & Weds 26th & 27th Nov, 7.30-8.30pm, Integral Meditation class (Live & online): Climbing the mindful mountain; intention & your life-design

“Envisioning involves visualizing with hope, optimism and appropriate ambition a goal that you want to achieve in the future, being specific about what it looks like”

This is a meditation class about:

  1. How to connect what you do each day to the life you want to manifest
  2. To link your medium and long term goals to your everyday actions.
  3. To enjoy this process and build Confidence in yourself as you do it

 
Article of the week: Your basic mandala of presence – The four trees
 
We can consider our basic meditation state as being the following:
Not lost in thought, not falling asleep, in the present moment, and aware of an anchor, or focus point in the present, such as the body and breathing
 
Once we have a sense of our basic meditation state, we can expand the definition a little, just to refine and deepen our sense of presence:
Basic meditative presence is not being lost in thought, not falling asleep, in the present moment, and aware of an anchor, or focus point in the present, such as the body and breathing. Furthermore it is not being absorbed in the future, and not living in the past.
 
These definitions give us a blue-print for building meditative presence, that we can then use as a basic ‘space’ within which we can place any other meditation practice that we may wish to develop,

  • If you want to place basic vipassana or witnessing meditation in there, you can
  • If you want to focus on mantra yoga in there, you can
  • If you want to do sports visualization you can
  • If you want to practice therapeutic mindfulness you can

You get the idea; you can use it for other meditation practices. Equally you can use it as a meditation practice in itself. I like to do this by creating what I call a ‘Mandala of presence’:
 
Imagine yourself sitting in a peaceful place between four trees, one is in front of you, one behind, one to the left, one to the right. See them as being maybe 2-4 meters distance away. Now simply use your body & breathing as an anchor for your awareness in the present moment, and stay there. The trees are your boundary-points:

  • Going beyond the left-hand tree means getting lost in thought
  • Going beyond the right-hand tree means falling asleep
  • Going beyond the tree behind you means living in the past
  • Going beyond the tree in front of you means being lost in the future

 
Notice you can be present to thoughts without being lost in them. You can also feel a little sleepy without falling asleep. You can be aware of a thought about past or future without living in the past or being lost in the future. So, it is quite a broad, forgiving space that you can hang out in and build stable, good quality, increasingly deep meditative presence.
 
A simple way to enhance the practice is to breathe as follows:

  • Breathing in, breathe your energy into your body, into the present and feel the fullness of that presence
  • As you breathe out, relax into the freedom of your awareness in the present

Build your sense of both freedom and fullness of presence as you meditate, dropping gradually deeper and deeper into meditation.
 
This is a practice I use not just in formal meditation, but also informally. Whenever I feel a little scattered, I bring my attention back to the here and now, sit between the four trees for a while, and return to my basic sanity.
 
Related reading:
The foundational pillars or ‘goal-posts’ of meditative presence
Finding Your Spiritual, Physical Home
Making your physical awareness balanced & whole
Sky & sun, freedom & fullness© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Biographical Energy Meditation Inner vision Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

Jackal or Tiger? – Creative, wise courage

“Do I want to leap like a tiger here, or listen to the voice of my wise inner jackal”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article is a ‘part 2’ from my earlier article on Are you solar or lunar?, but it also stands alone by itself. 

This week’s Tues/Weds meditation session is on “The generosity of the Bodhisattva”, which relates closely to the Tiger/Jackal theme!

Reminder of this Saturday’s Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self in the morning & Engaged mindfulness & meditation online class at 1700SG time. 

In the spirit of leaping,

Toby
 

 
Article of the week: Jackal or Tiger? – Creative, wise courage


 
I want to tell a short story, then tell a story about myself and my coaching clients that illustrates the greater awakening of both my and their creative nature.
 
Leaping like a tiger
There is a Tibetan folk story about Milarepa, who was one of their most famous ‘Yogis’ or spiritual practitioners. He is loved because his story shows how a poor, socially dis-advantaged person with many obstacles can still achieve greatness (in this case a spiritual enlightenment) in that life. The tale goes like this:
 
Milarepa was once asked by someone why he had become a hermit and recluse, rather than following his teacher Marpa’s example of being a lay meditator & practising whilst at the same time having a family, running a farm & translating text from Sanskrit to Tibetan. Milarepa replied, “If a jackal jumps where a tiger leaps, he will only break his neck!”
The inference here is that Milarepa new his limitations, & stayed within them.
 
In my early years of meditation, this was a guiding tale for me, where the mantra was basically “Know & stay within your limitations”. At a certain point in my life, when I was leaving my career as a monk, founding my own business, and generally facing a lot of uncertainty, the motto of the tale changed quite radically it went from “know your limitations” to:
 
“Sometimes you have to realize that you are the tiger, & leap!”
 
Since then, I often recall this story and, in the face of my challenges, make like a tiger!!
 
So then, that is my story. Not infrequently I meet clients who are facing big inner & outer challenges, uncertainties, intimidations etc, and I will tell them this story. Now, you might think, ha! Ok so now he is going to help them realize that they are a tiger & leap into a new, bigger life! Well, it’s a bit more nuanced than that. Often what I try and do is this:
 
“I will help them to make friends with their big, brave tiger AND their wise jackal, and get them to work together as a team”
 
In the original story, Milarepa compares himself to a jackal, which is an honest assessment of his limitations, and works wisely within them. In many (most?) other ways he was an absolute tiger, enduring any hardships, obstacles, & trials to achieve his goals. He was relentless, ambitions & single-hearted. However, when it came to this lifestyle choice, he listened wisely to the voice of his limitations, and acted accordingly.
When I have clients who come to me feeling overwhelmed, burned out or intimidated, I consider it vital for them to be able to accept and work with their overwhelmed/fearful (etc) ‘inner jackal’, working within those limitations wisely. We can then consider their ‘inner tiger,’ working to find her/him and build their strength. We also introduce them to each other, getting them to communicate around issues and help each other. Building the team of the inner jackal and tiger is fun & creative. It also empowers them to be creative in their choices on a case by case basis. In any given situation they can ask themselves the question:
 
“Do I want to leap like a tiger here, or listen to the voice of my wise inner jackal, being humbler & more strategic?”
 
This question, and having access to the energies of both jackal and tiger offers my clients a radical new range of creative options that they can deploy in order to steer themselves stably and consistently in the right direction without either:

  • Not leaping to their full potential or
  • Over-stretching and doing themselves an injury

In this way they become solar and creative in a way that contains both wisdom and courage, and the understanding of how to combine them both into a functional team!
 
A final point about mindfulness & meditation
 
One of my USP’s as an executive coach is being an expert in meditation & mindfulness, with over thirty years practice & teaching. This shows up in my coaching is as tailored mindfulness exercises that I do with a client based around the content of the session. I record this & share it with them to practise between now & the next time we meet. These exercises create a space where ‘the rubber meets the road’ so to speak. What I mean by that is the ideas covered in the session can be re-visited experientially in the exercise, thus substantially deepening the level on which the ideas can be integrated by the client. Of course mindfulness exercises are optional in the sessions, but often they do play a significant part.
 
Related articles by Toby:
Are you solar or lunar?
Leaping like a tiger
Mindful of your inner artist – Becoming sola not lunar
The role of courage in meditation
© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Categories
A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope spiritual intelligence

Playful detached-compassion

“Life experience, combined with playfulness and observational presence can make the power of our compassion grow exponentially”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article explores resolving the apparent contradiction between detachment & compassion i a playful way! If you enjoy the article, we will be looking at the topic in this week’s meditation session. 

Reminder of this Saturday’s  Making Pearls from Sand: Free online session on mindfully working with your shadow-self, 1700-1800 Singapore time.

In the spirit of compassionate play,

Toby

 


This week’s meditation session Tues 12th/Weds 13th November:  ‘Detached compassion – in the world but not of it’.

This class looks at how to use mindfulness & meditation to:

  • Develop sustainable, high-quality compassion
  • Combine it with healthy detachment
  • Use this combination as an energising & healing force within ourself, our life & the world

 
7.30-8.30pm SG time, live in-person and online

 
Article of the week: Playful detached-compassion
 
Detachment and compassion are qualities that often we consider being separate because they appear to exclude each other.  It seems when you are detached you are disconnected from others, and so cannot feel compassion for them. Likewise, if we were being compassionate we cannot be detached because that means disconnecting from our feeling nature, which is where our compassion is located.
 
However, viewed from the perspective of mindful awareness, it is perfectly possible to bring deep compassion together with a sense of detached, witnessing observation. This is because:
 
We can practice observational detachment from any situation, viewing things from the “big picture” perspective, while at the same time cultivating closeness and intimacy with who or what we observe
 
Good quality mindful awareness is like the sun. It combines the impersonal light of awareness with a nurturing, life-giving warmth. From the perspective of an integrated mindful awareness, we can cultivate an experience of life as impersonally-personal, as deeply involved and at the same time not involved, as compassionate at the same time as being even minded.
 
If you practice bringing observational detachment and compassion together simultaneously in life situations, gradually improving your ability, then you will consistently increase your experience of detached-compassion.
 
Divine Playfulness
 
One of the fundamental qualities of Spirit when we contact it playfulness and a corresponding sense of humour. From its perspective the whole process of creating and evolving a universe is done as a type of game, a way of creatively exploring itself and its potential.
Consequently, if you want to increase the level of spirit in your daily life then entering your daily tasks in the spirit playfulness is a great practice to have.
It is easy to get a little too serious about things and allow our life to become unnecessarily stressful and unhappy. Relating to the challenges in your day as playful games and puzzles set you by the universe to help you grow is a technique that both relieves stress and enhances the deeply felt spiritual nature of your human experience.
 
A five-minute meditation to integrate playfulness and detached compassion into daily life
 
Step 1: Mentally select a particular life situation/challenge that you wish to work on in the meditation
 
Step 2: Recollect your understanding of detached compassion. Open your heart to the feelings that you are experiencing and the other people that are involved at the same time as mentally taking a step back and seeing what is happening from a more impersonal, big picture perspective. Experiment, trying to feel both empathic compassion and witnessing observance. At first do them one after the other, and then simultaneously. Breathe with this combined experience for a while.
 
Step 3: Introduce playful humour to your perspective of the challenge. Think of the challenge as a game that you as a spiritual being are playing to stretch and improve your capability as a human being. Stay with this perspective and the experiences it gives rise to for a time.
If you do this brief exercise a few times you will find that compassionate detachment and playfulness will become an accessible experience for you in your daily life. Life experience, combined with playfulness and observational presence can make the power of our compassion grow exponentially.
 
Related articles: Compassion & care through awareness
Compassionate presence, awakened action
© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Inner vision Integral Awareness Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Shadow meditation

The essence of shadow integration

Dear Toby,

The article below looks at the essence of shadow integration practice. I’m writing it as I prepare for three shadow events, firstly on Saturday 16th, 1700-1800 Singapore time: Making Pearls from Sand: Free online session on mindfully working with your shadow-self.

Following on from this are the Shadow work & Language of the shadow workshops  in the following weeks. 

You are invited to participate in your own journey of the shadow! 

Toby

Id to ego, It to I; The essence of shadow integration
 
As you may be aware, it was Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung who first coined the term ‘shadow’ as an aspect of their theories of the conscious and unconscious minds. They indicated the split that can occur between the two when parts of our personality/psychological self are repressed and banished to the unconscious mind, with the resulting phenomenon of the shadow self being a part of the result.
When Freud was asked about the essence of his method, he is famous for saying “Where the Id was the Ego shall be”. Essentially his meaning appears in translation as being our unconscious passions and desires (the Id) shall be consciously integrated into our ego-self, thus affecting a healing of the personality, and a move toward wholeness.
 
The original statement from Freud in German is “Wo Es war soll Ich werden”. In order to make it sound a bit more ‘academic’ James Strachey, Freud’s English translator translated ‘Es’ into ‘Id’, and ‘Ich’ into ‘ego’. However, as I understand, the two terms have a more common, colloquial meaning:

  • ‘Es’ is the German personal pronoun es is the English equivalent of ‘it’
  • ‘Ich’ is the German pronoun meaning ‘I’
     

So then, if you re-translate Freud’s statement you get:

“Where the it was the I shall be”

This then throws a clarifying light upon the process of shadow integration that goes something like this; Our shadow is all the primal and instinctual passions (‘bad’ and ‘good’) within us that we have pushed out of our conscious mind into our unconscious. Here they have become something that is not ‘me’ but an ‘it’, something not me, alien and threatening to myself. Shadow integration involves noticing the clues regarding what lies in my repressed unconscious, for example:

  • Repeating dreams about being chased by a monster
  • Being unusually emotionally triggered by particular types of people (Eg: aggressive, powerful or egotistic people)
  • Suffering baffling anxiety in the face of certain life circumstances

Having picked up on these clues we then work on owning and re-integrating the repressed material, making it into part of ‘me’. By doing so what was previously an ‘it’ in my unconscious becomes part of my ‘I’. This is what Freud meant when he said “Where the it was the I shall be”, and that is really the essence of shadow work.
 
De-fragmenting the self
If you can imagine how fragmented our self-sense is when lots of parts of it have become ‘its’ within our shadow unconscious, then you can also start to see how empowering and positive shadow work is. As we collect the fragmented ‘its’ and gather them back into our I, our I starts to feel strong, resilient and whole in ways that we had forgotten was possible. Our vigour and appetite for life returns, in tandem with our peace of mind and a sense of profound, relative calm.
 
Read more of Toby’s articles in the Shadow section of his blog: https://tobyouvry.com/category/shadow-meditation/


© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Categories
creative imagery Engaged mindfulness project Inner vision Integral Meditation Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology

Are you Solar or lunar?

“Help people become creative ‘inner artists’ in their thoughts, emotions, and philosophy, thus empowering them to change their life & work”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article is the first of two looking at my primary motivations both for being an executive  coach & a meditation teacher. It works with the question ‘Are you a solar or lunar being?’. I hope you enjoy it, ‘part two’ is next week.

Details of this week’s meditation class is below, as well as the the Shadow work & Language of the shadow workshops I will be doing in the next few weeks.  
  
In the spirit of creativity,

Toby

Read the follow-up article in the series: Jackal or Tiger? – Creative, wise courage


This week’s article: Are you Solar or lunar?
 
What brings me passion in coaching?
 
I originally trained as an artist, & ceramic sculptor at University. The reasons that I chose a Fine Art degree was because it offered me the maximum bandwidth to explore the freedom of creativity. After graduating, I shifted from being an ‘external artist’, someone that makes external art, to being a meditation practitioner & teacher.
To me meditation was not an abandonment of creativity, but a shift; rather than making external art, I focused on my inner life, creating harmony, balance & ‘beauty’ within myself. A major reason for this was that I noticed that my inner life had a huge impact upon what I experienced outwardly:

  • If my inner self was feeling optimistic and powerful I tended to behave and experience as such in my daily life
  • If my inner self confused, fearful or resentful, perception of my outer world and my behavior in it changed accordingly

As a meditator, I still felt myself to be an artist, but more of an inner artist. The fundamental driving force was still the principle of creativity, but more ‘The inner creativity behind the outer creativity!’
 
So, my driving passion in coaching is this; I help people become creative ‘inner artists’ in their thoughts, emotions, and philosophy, thus empowering them to change the experience of their outer lives and work.
 
Are you a solar or lunar person?
 
I often explain the power of wise creativity in the following manner:
The light of the moon is, in fact the reflected light of the sun. It does not have its own light. People are mostly like the moon in the sense that, whatever environment they go into, they are largely formed & influenced by that environment. For example, if a person starts to work in a new office with a positive culture, then they will become like that too. If they start work in an office with a negative culture, they will tend to become like that.
 
My passion as a coach lies in making people ‘solar’ rather than lunar. The sun is its own light source, its own source of power. It is creative & generative. The real nature of a human being is to be like the sun, to be the creative force in their life. I help people to realize their inner power, & harness it though structured practices that build confidence. My mission is to help people to tap into their own already existing creativity, using it to change and transform their work and personal life for the better.
 
Related coaching services:
Executive coaching
Life-Fullness Life coaching
 
Related articles by Toby:
Mindful of your inner artist – Becoming sola not lunar
Becoming Your Own Mindful Psychotherapist and Life Coach


© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology