Category: Biographical

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The Gifts & wounds of Our Ancestors

Dear Integral Meditators,

Happy Samhain & All Hallows eve (aka Haloween) everyone! Its a great time to sit down & do a bit of reflection on our genertic & spiritual ancestors. The article below offers a few pointers for gentle contemplation.
Those in Singapore, if you fancy doing a meditation on the subject then do com along tonight or tomorrow: Tuesday 31st October & Wednesday 1st November, 7.30-8.30pm – Samhain Meditation – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

In the spirit of the light within the darkness,

Toby

The Gifts and Wounds of Our Ancestors

Living as securely, affluently as we do to today, and having the choices that we have has a lot to do with the efforts of past generations. Specifically to us as individuals, our immediate ancestors, parents, grandparents and great grandparents have a lot to do with the opportunity we have today to lead a happy, fulfilling and creative life today. You could say we are the inheritors of their gifts.

Conversely we are also an inheritor of their wounds, their unresolved inner conflicts, their vulnerabilities, their struggles, their blindspots & their burdens. Quite often the gifts and the blindspots of our ancestors are interrelated. For example:

  • I am aware of the gift of freedom that I was given from my Grandfathers in their fighting, surviving and perhaps killing in the two world wars. I am also aware of the emotional wounds and handicaps that come with such a sacrifice.
  • I am also aware of the gifts of my Grandmothers as women; their sacrifice and their patience. I am also aware of the wounds that they carry from playing this role and the limitations that it placed upon them.

Thematically, many of the issues that we may now be facing in our life are a continuation of the patterns of previous generations. For most people this goes on quite unconsciously, but by bringing mindfulness and reflection to our relationships to our ancestors we can develop the capacity to consciously guide and direct the energy that flows into us from our ancestors, and thus make better use of it.

A mindful reflection on your ancestors
Take the image of an ancestor that you wish to connect with and reflect upon, perhaps from an old photo. Visualize this image in front of you and allow your mind to mindfully free-associate for a while; notice the feelings, images and memories that may come up.
Now ask your ancestor (as if they are actually present) three questions:

  • What are your gifts to me?
  • What are your wounds?
  • What is it that you wish to communicate with me at this time?

Listen for the answers that come back, and dwell for a while in a state of:

  • Appreciation for gifts received
  • Healing and release of wounds inherited
  • Clear understanding of their message from them to you at this time in your life

We are the ancestors of future generations
Another question that we need to ask ourselves regularly is of course; what are the gifts that I wish to pass onto future generations, and what are the wounds they will have to deal with if I remain the way I am currently?

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Beginning 14th&15th November – Mastering your mind & thoughts through mindfulness – A five-week course

Saturday 18th November 9.30am-12.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical Meditations And Techniques For Working With your Shadow-Self three hour workshop

Saturday 18th November 2-5pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self three hour workshop
Satu
rday November 25th 10am-4pm – Mini ME Retreat #2 : Mindful Eating + Reiki Sound Bath with Tiffany Wee & Elaine Yang

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Biographical creative imagery Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness

Nurturing your natural intelligence and natural dignity

Dear Integral Meditators,

One of the most important & enjoyable benefits of being mindful is accessing what I call your natural intelligence & natural dignity. The article below explores how to understand & develop these two skills experientially.

In the spirit of natural dignity,
Toby

Nurturing your natural intelligence and natural dignity

Today I want to talk about two very important qualities that you start to build within yourself through mindfulness. Whenever you do any form of activity that stimulates your mindfulness, you create an inner space where there is an opportunity to build what I call your natural intelligence and natural dignity. Understanding and reflecting upon these two qualities helps us to develop them faster and more deeply.

Natural intelligence


Natural intelligence is simply your innate ability to learn, problem solve and generally figure things out from direct observation and experience of life. When our mind and bodies are relaxed and calm, we all have a natural facility to just look at things and learn about what works and what doesn’t. This natural intelligence does not require a philosophy (though by using it you may develop one), nor does it require complex conceptual knowledge. However, it does require you to be able to have enough confidence and inner calm to start to trust and use it effectively. Here are two examples of where I have developed and used it in my life:

  • At art school as a sculpture student, I had a lot of technical problems that were involved in how to make sculpture effectively; How tall can I build this clay sculpture before it falls over? How can I communicate an emotional idea that I have in my head in a silent three-dimensional form? How can I make an effective sculpture avoiding any unnecessary processes that harm the environment (e.g. fiberglass etc…)? All of these questions can be informed by asking others, looking at other artworks and so on, but for the most part what I needed was just to keep looking, keep experimenting using trial and error, using my natural intelligence.
  • As a mindfulness and life coach. One thing that I have discovered in my teaching and coaching career is that learning different modalities of coaching and learning will only get me so far in terms of bringing real benefit to the diverse group of people whom I coach and assist. The fulcrum of my coaching practice (and the one that I believe makes me the most valuable to others) is the ability to look at people’s lives and situations with my natural intelligence. This enables me to enter into the person’s life, understand its context, observe it, and then on that basis offer a series of suggestions that are going to be relevant and useful to that person and that will help them direct their life in the way that they want it to go.

Natural dignity


Natural dignity is something that every creature has. For example if you look at a mouse or an ant going about its daily business you will start to observe that, whatever dangers it is fending off or jobs that it is doing, they are basically happy to be themselves. An ant is happy to be an ant, it is not thinking about becoming a grasshopper. A mouse is comfortable in its own skin, in its “mouseness”. It is not trying to be something else, and in this you can sense a natural dignity, an unconscious self respect that the mouse possesses in being what it is.
Humans however, amidst all their mental complexity and egoic insecurity very easily lose touch with their natural dignity, the dignity of their humanness and just being who they are. Humans often look at other humans and want to be the other that they see. They look at their bodies and want another, better looking body. They look at their skill sets, consider them inferior and want someone else’s that seem better. Basically we as humans have lost touch with the natural sense of dignity that comes from being comfortable as we are, warts and all. Natural dignity is completely different from being lazy or a slob. Laziness and slobbiness is almost always accompanied by low self esteem and self loathing “I want to be something else, but I have given up trying” it says. Natural dignity is just a sense that you have, when your mind and body are relaxed enough that says “I am comfortable in my uniqueness and the validity of my place in this world and in the universe, and I don’t have to do more than this to feel dignified in who I am”.

Two questions
Here are two questions that you can ask yourself regularly as a form of mindfulness practice, in order to help stimulate your natural intelligence and natural dignity:

  • If I mindfully bring my natural intelligence to bear upon this situation/circumstance/challenge, what does it help me to see and understand?
  • If I center myself within my natural dignity in this situation, what would it change in terms of the way I experience it?

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Starting Tues/Wed August 15th/16th – August meditation three class mini-series: Cultivating engaged-equanimity & positive non-attachment

Saturday September 16th, 10am-5pm –  Shamanic mandala meditation & art workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Biographical Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

Trap of wishing you were somewhere else

Dear Integral Meditators,

Whilst on holiday I’ve been looking through some old articles for a ‘mental fitness’ website I used to have that now no longer exists. This weeks articles is one of those that I enjoyed re-reading and editing a little. The original full title was ‘Why you need to commit to what is happening in your life now, whether it is what you want or not, and the trap of wishing you were somewhere else!‘

In the spirit of not being trapped,

Toby

Trap of wishing you were somewhere else

I’m coming off the back of a relatively busy period in my life, and I’ve caught myself over the last few days mentally drifting off and thinking about how it would be nice to have more time to shoot the breeze, take long leisurely walks down the beach, play more tennis and so on. Then I started to think about times what I really was not that busy. I reflected that, during those times I was often somewhat discontent, looking for more to do, more friends to meet, different ways of filling that uncomfortable space. It seems like wherever I am in my life there is always a part of me that (if I let it) wants to be somewhere else!


I don’t think I am alone here. It seems a very characteristic trait of humans, particularly today, that as soon as something starts to happen in our life, we start wishing to be somewhere else. We start looking for ways to avoid really committing to what it is we find themselves encountering in the here and now.


The trap of this way of thinking and being is that we end up never really living our life in the present moment (see complementary article to this one: What is it that is preventing me from relaxing in the present moment? ). We get into a pattern of resisting what is actually in front of us, not really being there in a fully engaged and authentic way. As a result we no longer really feel as if we are living our life directly, we feel as if we are living life two steps removed from where it really is, and we are wondering where the disconnect happened.


My basic point here is that, whatever is going on in your life right now, commit to it, engage it, live it fully. Going through a busy period? Commit to it. Got some spare time on your hands, enter fully into that empty space, don’t wish yourself somewhere else. Life is hardly ever ideal. If you spend your time avoiding what is in front of you, waiting for the ideal situation to arise, you might find yourself in an actually ideal situation and, out of habit, finding ways of avoiding it!

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Restarting August 15th: Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Restarting August 15th: Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Starting Tues/Wed August 15th/16th – August meditation three class mini-series: Cultivating engaged-equanimity & positive non-attachment

Saturday August 19th, 10am-5pm, & Monday August 21st,  10am-5pm –  Shamanic mandala meditation & art workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Biographical Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindfulness

The Yin & Yang of mindful thinking

Dear Integral Meditators,

Managing your basic thinking processes is one of the most important life-skills that you can develop. The article below explores one simple mindfulness method that can really help!

For those in Singapore, quick reminder of the Tuesday evening class starting on the 8th!

In the spirit of the thought filled journey,

Toby

The Yin and Yang of mindful thinking

As I continue to coach people in the art of mindful thinking it continues to strike me how tricky people find basic positive thinking and care of the thinking mind. This short article is an attempt to explain in simple, practical terms how to think in a way that supports our happiness and wellbeing at the same time as taking care of wounded, negative or challenging thoughts that arise.
The basic principle of this practice is this; deliberately think two constructive thoughts, and then acknowledge a more negative or challenging thought. So, if I take myself right now as an example I bring to mind two good things I’ve experienced in the last 24 hours:

  • I enjoyed listening to Ken Wilbur’s Full body mindfulness module on the bus to work this morning
  • I enjoyed my meeting with colleagues yesterday where we discussed our future plans for collaboration

I note and dwell upon these two positive experiences for a moment, letting my appreciation sink in. On the basis of this simple, positive experience, I then seek out a more difficult or challenging thought or perspective that may be bothering me. For example:

  • I feel somewhat run down physically due to my workload right now

I then spend a few moments simply being aware of, acknowledging and taking care of the feelings associated with this challenge, making my peace with it. Then I go back to constructive thinking and seek out two positives:

  • I enjoyed the conversation I had with my daughter last night
  • I feel grateful for the fact that I can help the healing of some niggling sports injuries I have using mindfulness (great skill to have at my disposal)

I dwell upon these thoughts and the feelings associated with them, so that my sense of my world being basically ‘good’ is re-enforced. Then I deliberately seek out a troubled part of my mind to take care of.  Looking at my mind as an example right now:

  • I feel sad that I don’t have more time to devote to environmental concerns, or to spend more time in and with nature

Again, I mindfully acknowledge that thought, consciously taking care of the feelings associated with it, approaching it with compassion.

And so it goes on. Whenever there is a spare moment I come back to this mindfulness of thoughts; deliberately seeking out and enjoying two constructive thoughts before I then look for a challenging thought/perspective to take care of and process consciously. If I do this mindfully through-out the day, then my mind is going to really start to feel strong and resilient, as my reality is increasingly experienced through the perspective of my positive thoughts, and any challenging thoughts and feelings within me are made to feel supported and cared for (as opposed to feared, rejected or indulged in). One thing that I notice about this practice is that it really affects my physical energy quite tangibly, there is no doubt that having a strong mind helps the body to feel strong to a certain extent and degree!
Like my other integral mindfulness practices, this can be done as a sitting down exercise (even a written one using a note pad), or simply something to be mindful of as you are going about your daily activities.

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings from November – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Saturday November 12th, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life, and growing your own personal Life Tree

19th November – One Heart Celebration Day (Joint event)

Saturday 26th November 10am-5pm – Engaged Mindfulness day workshop/retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Biographical Essential Spirituality Inner vision Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present

The yoga of limitation and choice

Dear Integral Meditation,

Is choice always a good thing for us? How can we use limitation to our advantage? The article below looks at how we can use mindfulness to approach both choice and limitation with confidence…

In the spirit of the journey,

Toby

The yoga of limitation and choice

The yoga of limitation and choice are two types of mindfulness practice centered around the process of decision making. In situations where our choices are very limited and where we have multiple choices there are both:

  • Opportunities for specific types of inner growth, happiness and wellbeing.
  • Challenges to our peace of mind and factors trying to sabotage our sense of inner wellbeing

Allowing ourselves to be disciplined by limitation
When I was a monk I deliberately chose to limit my options in life:

  • A very minimal income
  • No sexual or romantic relationships
  • No intoxicants (except the odd expresso!)

Because of this my choices became very limited, which meant I had to practice ‘the discipline of limitation’ living within my means and boundaries. My limitations also enabled me to focus and accomplish the goal of becoming a meditation and mindfulness expert, but even without that I observed that simply having fewer choices makes your life clear and simple; the limitations of your choice give rise to a certain amount of peace if you are able to accept them.
So, to practise the yoga of limitation simply means to be content and accepting of the limitations of your life as you find them each day. This doesn’t mean that you don’t make plans to increase your choices and opportunities in life; it just means you are take advantage of the limitations you find each day, and are not made unhappy by them.

The discipline of choice
Now that I am a layperson in the middle stages of my life I have many choices and options

  • Which personal and business relationships do I pursue?
  • How best to spend and save my money?
  • Am I insured enough?
  • Private or public education for my child?
  • Where to go on holiday?
  • Where to live?

Endless choices, and the more wealth I have, the more choices are born from that…
The interesting thing that I note as I observe my own experience of choice (and many of the people that surround me) is that having all these options can give rise to a lot of anxiety and unhappiness (what if this is the wrong choice? Someone tell me what to do!) In order not to be made unhappy and over anxious by my many choices, I have to be disciplined, decisive and mindful.  When you no longer have the luxury of limitation, mindful, conscious decision making really comes at a premium.

What are the circumstances in your life right now where you need to practice the yoga of limitation; allowing yourself to be disciplined by and content with your absence of choices?
What are the circumstances where you need to practice the yoga of choice; managing the anxiety of having options, and making choices consciously, responsibly and positively?

If you are a mindfulness practitioner, you will know how to take advantage of both types of situation, and have an ongoing experiential grasp of the saying that the time to be happy (in whatever form you understand that) is always now.

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia:

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (next class July 6th) – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Biographical Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditating on the Self

That Essential Feeling of Being Alive

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article is a simple reflection on mindfulness as the simple act of opening to life as you find it. Happy reading!

In the spirit of the journey,

Toby

That Essential Feeling of Being Alive

We’re all looking deep down for that essential feeling of being alive. A lot of our actions; seeking a particular type of work, seeking romance, traveling, studying, watching or reading stories, achieving this or that. All of these things are ways in which we seek to connect to that essential feeling, and yet often it can remain elusive; we feel a disconnect; we mistake it for the excitement of a new activity and then get bored; we need to have achieved all the things we think we need to before we give ourself permission.
The open secret here is that we are all alive now, and all we really need to do to connect to feeling truly alive is to open to it in the moment that we find ourself in at any given time, to simply be what and who we are now.
Our conceptual mind gets confused about this, it thinks that there need to be criteria met, goals achieved, boy/girl met, rank achieved. After we have gotten these, then we can give ourself permission to feel alive (!) But the thing about needing criteria to be ‘met’ before you allow yourself to open to life is that once one set of criteria is met, we tend to create another set of criteria in its place that we have to meet; another reason to withhold that essential feeling of being alive from ourself for another moment, day, week, month, year…
An essential dimension of the way of mindfulness is to open to the feeling of being alive first, and then decide what you are going to do to express and enjoy that feeling further. The approach for many people is to give yourself a list of things to do/get/achieve and then, at some point in the future you may be able to open to being fully alive.
Right now I’m getting over a few days of fever. On one level I’ve felt like these days have been somewhat crummy/not fun/unfortunate/painful (insert adjective here…) for me, but despite this I’m always kind of fine with what happened because at the core of my basic experience is this essential, fundamentally pleasurable feeling of being connected to life, to being here and to participating. This is the sort of way that mindfully connecting to being alive starts to affect your experiences on a day to day level.
Don’t wait for that essential feeling of life to come to you, it’s right here, now, waiting for you to open to it!

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia:

February 2016

Ongoing on Wednesday’s (Jan 13th, 20th) 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Saturday  February 27th, 2.30-5.30pm – Growing Your Mindful Freedom – The Essential Meditation of the Buddha: A Three Hour Meditation Workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Biographical Enlightened Flow Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Mindfulness

The Imperfect Jug (On mindful doing)

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks at how we can use mindfulness not just to ‘be’, but also when we are doing, and use mindfulness to do things a little bit better.
Last chance to catch Integral Mindfulness On line Course starting on Feb 4th  at a discounted rate, at the end of Friday 29th January it will go up to its full price.
For those in Singapore, do check out this Saturdays Course  Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment – A Three Hour Workshop , all welcome!

In the spirit of the imperfect jug,

Toby

The Imperfect Jug (On mindful doing)

I have a glass jug in my kitchen that I use to pour my water. Technically it is a flawed jug in the sense that, if you try and pour the water out beyond a certain speed it drips water onto the table. Furthermore if you don’t pour it fast enough it also drips. So when I am pouring I have to really pay attention and do it at just the right speed so that it pours cleanly without spilling.
Initially I found this jug really annoying, particularly when I am in a hurry. But then I realized that it’s actually showing me something. When I am in a hurry I try and pour too fast, which then means I have to wipe up the water from the dripping, which takes up more time and effort than if I’d just poured more slowly. So, in order to get a ‘clean pour’ so to speak, I have to slow down a little, relax, focus and pour not too fast, not to slow.
This has now become a symbol or metaphor for me regarding how I mindfully work and do things in general:

  • If I try and work too fast I start to make mistakes, which I then have to correct, which takes more time than if I had slowed down a little and not made the mistake.
  • Similarly if I work too slow, I lose my rhythm and focus, which means I waste time getting distracted or do something sloppily that then have to re-do.

So to me mindful doing in my daily life is like pouring water from the jug; not too fast, not to slow. I try and hit an optimal pace where I am getting things done, but not going so fast that I make unnecessary mistakes.

What is your optimal pace in the different activities you do in your day? It can be a worthwhile mindfulness practice asking yourself this question, and then trying to optimize the momentum with which you do things in your life.

Make your mindful doing like pouring of the imperfect jug; not too fast, not too slow!

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia:

JANUARY 2016

Ongoing on Wednesday’s (Jan 13th, 20th) 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Saturday, January 30th, 2.30-5.30pm  – Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment – A Three Hour Workshop

Starts 4th February – Transforming Stress into Happiness – An Introduction to Integral Mindfulness Meditation – A Five Week On line Course

Click the link to find out about the special 1:1 meditation and mindfulness coaching offer in January!

Integral Meditation Asia

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Biographical creative imagery Inner vision Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience

Tom and Jerry Mindfulness (Cartoon Character Positive Attitude)

Dear Integral Meditators,

How long does it take you to bounce back from psychological challenges? Are there unconventional methods that can help? The article below explores this theme, as well as the wisdom of Tom and Jerry!

Some of the themes from the article I will also be exploring on this Wednesday July 22nd 7.30-9pm  a the Integral Meditation Session @ Basic Essence – “Meditation for connecting to a positive attitude” so do come down if your in Singapore!

In the spirit of deep cartoons,

Toby

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation next week!

Saturday 1st August, 9.30am-12.30pm – Finding Simplicity in the Complexity: An Introduction to Meditation From the Perspective of Zen – In a sentence: De-clutter your mind, develop concentration and create focused calm in your life by learning Zen meditation

Saturday 1st August, 2.30-5.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self – A Three Hour Workshop – Get in touch with a deeper level of psychological harmony and wellbeing within yourself. Learn how to access new levels of energy and confidence. Discover and heal hidden aspects of your psyche that are currently sabotaging your happiness in daily life and transforming them into something useful and powerful within you…

Tom and Jerry Mindfulness (Cartoon Character Positive Attitude)

Your psychic or psychological body is plastic
When your physical body is injured or becomes ill it takes time to recover, for example once you have broken a leg it is inevitable that you are going to have to spend time allowing it to recover and heal.
On a psychological level our subtle body or thought body is more flexible, malleable or ‘plastic’. When you take an emotional ‘hit’ to your psychic body the time it takes to recover is not fixed. We see this for example when two people facing the same circumstances, for example being sacked from their job or being rejected by someone they are attracted to, take different times to recover from such a blow. One person may go into a deep depression; the other may bounce back very quickly. The latter person almost seems like Tom in the Tom and Jerry cartoons when he is squashed flat by an enormous hammer (or equivalent) and then after a few moments bounces right back into his original shape, and resumes chasing the mouse!
The reason why the psychological recovery time of some people is so fast is because, actually if we know how to, we can heal our psychological body very quickly; it is made of energy, not flesh and bone, so it can change shape rapidly, sometimes instantaneously.
If we understand this, then we should at the very least be interested in how we can mindfully accelerate our own psychological healing and ability to become a bit more ‘Tom and Jerry –like’ in our approach to psychological healing.

‘Popping’ your subtle body back into shape – an example
At various periods in my life I have felt under quite a lot of financial stress, from back in my penniless Buddhist monk days to my current circumstances as an entrepreneur. I remember one time when I was feeling kind of miserable and stressed about this. You could say that my psychological body was in the ‘flattened Tom’ stage cartoon wise. Then I saw a rather grizzled looking man walk by smiling in a polo t-shirt that had a picture of a mop and a message on the back that said “Will work for food”. Seeing this man at the time when I was in the circumstances I was in was incredibly amusing to me and I started laughing. I then lost my fear of ending up broke and at the bottom of society wealth wise; the energy and shape returned almost instantaneously to my psychological body – like the cartoon cat ‘popping’ back into shape and resuming the chase of the mouse. The man in the t-shirt became my go-to response to this particular challenge and my way of ‘bouncing back’ whenever I felt down.

Some of the basic facets of Tom and Jerry Mindfulness:

  • Genuine acceptance of the reality of the challenging circumstances and the emotions that you are experiencing – You can’t pop-back psychologically from a place of denial! (See the Shadow Workshop on the 1st August!)
  • Engaging in the discipline of relaxation, new perspectives, humour and lightness
  • Acknowledging the realization that swift, even instantaneous recovery is sometimes possible
  • A story or image to hold in your mind that contains the essential ‘pop-back’ energy. For me in the story above this was the man in the t-short with the message.
  • The confidence and courage to step into your recovery space without hesitation (‘This can’t be real can it??’)

I’m not saying here that you should expect to heal all psychological wounds quickly, I’m just pointing out that our psychological body is plastic and malleable, and we can learn to help it to pop-back into shape faster if we know how.

© Toby Ouvry 2015, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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Wolf Therapy – The Subtle Dimensions of Meditation and the Mind

Dear Integral Meditators,

What if there were an endlessly creative and imaginative aspect of your mind that you could learn to tap into at will? The article below explores how you can discover this domain by developing the the subtle dimension of your meditation practice.

In the spirit of the imaginal world,

Toby

Wolf Therapy – The Subtle Dimensions of Meditation and the Mind

Normally we think about our mind as being in our body. For many people this is further reduced to our mind being our brain. Whilst it is true that our brain acts as the interface between our mind and our physical body, a meditators perspective is that it is really the body that is in the mind. The mind is not limited by the physical body and can extend itself naturally and easily beyond the physical body.

Three levels of meditation
In meditation we practice three levels of awareness:

  • Outer world awareness – Awareness of the physical-sensory experience we have of our outer world, and the everyday discursive thoughts and human emotions that come with it
  • Inner world awareness – Awareness of the inner worlds of our imagination, and dreams together with the subtle bodies, energies, thoughts and feelings we may experience there
  • Formless awareness – Awareness of the dimension of consciousness that lies beyond form, or time or space; the formless timeless dimension of the mind

The subtle, inner world or imaginal dimension
The second dimension of meditative awareness attunes us to the level of our experience where we dream and imagine. The subtle or dream world it turns out is a series of inner worlds, somewhat like our outer world, where we can explore landscapes, meet other people and creatures, make discoveries, learn and do research and generally enjoy our inner life in a healthy way. To live there and enjoy its riches is something that a child is quite naturally able to do, but adults end to get it whipped out of them by the time they leave school, or have it warped out of shape, which is a shame. Creative forms of meditation enable us to get back in touch with our inner world and begin travelling again.

An example: Wolf Therapy
As a seasoned integral meditator, every day I have numerous experiences in the inner world. Actually, you do to, but you may not be aware of them, or be unable to distinguish them from the ‘everyday noise’ in your head. Some are when I am fully conscious in daily life, others are in dreams, and others are in meditation. Here is one example from my journal:
‘I am lying down in meditation. I detect an imbalanced energy in my sacral area that starts to throb with pain as I become aware of it. I request help, specifically from my inner world animal guides. I almost immediately sense a she-wolf lying on top of me with a male wolf to my right side by my head.
The she wolf has her genital area above my belly button, I feel her healing energy flowing into my sacral area as a gentle warmth. The male wolf next to me is ‘talking’ to me about how to deal with my current challenges, how to be ‘happy foraging and seeking’ as he puts it. It seems he is working with me on my mindset! I arise from the experience feeling energetically balanced in my sacral area, and with a new mental approach to my circumstances.’

Becoming a conscious daydreamer
There are many ways to get back in touch with the inner world again and start to enjoy it, but one simple way to start is just by becoming more aware of the ideas, images, landscapes and characters that drift in and out of your awareness during the day and pay attention to them; being alert to the significance that they may have. Become a conscious or mindful daydreamer.

Related articles: Three Dimensions of Mindful Daydreaming
From Distraction to Intuitive Imagination (Meditation secrets for running a business)

© Toby Ouvry 2015, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia in May:

JUNE 2015

Wednesday, June 24th 7.30-9pm  – Integral Meditation Session @ Basic Essence – Meditating on benevolence & inner wealth

Saturday 27th June 9.30am-12.30pm – Mindful Self Confidence – Developing your self-confidence, self-belief & self-trust through mindfulness & meditation

Saturday 27th June, 2.30-5.30pm – The Call of the Wild–Meditations for Deepening Your Inner Connection to the Animal Kingdom and the Green-world

July schedule coming soon!

Integral Meditation Asia

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What Happens When You Are Not Afraid of Fear?

Dear Integral Meditators,

What happens if you are not afraid of fear? Actually you could just sit down and ask yourself that question like a zen koan and see where it takes you and get some productive results. But I’ve also written an article on it below!

In the spirit of not being afraid,

Toby

What Happens When You Are Not Afraid of Fear?

Usually we are afraid of being afraid. We don’t like the unpleasantness of the experience, and so as soon as we detect fear in our body and mind we start to fight with it, trying to push it away. This approach gives us only two options:

  • We can continue to resist the fear and thus experience an ongoing inner battle between ourselves and our fear or
  • We can become a victim of the fear, simply being afraid and acting impulsively based around our fearful feelings

A third option is that when we feel fear arising within us we can consciously welcome it into our body-mind with awareness. We can practice watching which part of our body the fear is located, we can observe and be curious about the dialogue that fear initiates in our head. We can extend care to it when it comes into our mind, we can choose to look after it. We can learn to simply be with it, rather than trying to solve it, get rid of it or being a victim of it. If we start to approach our fear in this way with mindful curiosity then gradually we will cease to be come intimidated by our fear. We will start to understand it more, and we will then be able to learn from it.

But what can fear teach me?
If I am afraid to say something to my friend because I am afraid that s/he will disapprove or dislike me for it, then it indicates that I care for the friendship. If I am aware of this fear, and not afraid to work with it, it may also show me that I am too reliant upon the approval of my friend, and that with relationships that are worthwhile and genuine, sometimes it is really important to communicate what you believe in, even if it may not be received that well.
If I am afraid to leave my job because of the uncertainty that will result, that fear is right to the extent that our basic financial security is important. If I can become comfortable with that fear, then I can move beyond it and leave my job, but at the same time I can take appropriate steps to mitigate the risk involved.
If I have a life threatening illness, I can use my fear to take action to maximise my chances of recovery, whilst at the same time not having my present moment quality of life destroyed by anxiety over my future.

When you open to your fear it starts to show you things. Useful things.

Becoming comfortable with our fear offers us freedom of choice, and the option to act intelligently and appropriately to the genuine concerns that our fear is pointing out.

Often I find that the things that I have the most fear around are, quite naturally the things I care about the most; my family and friends, my clients, my work, my health. It’s natural to have fears around these things because I care. If I can become comfortable with the fears that arise from caring, if I am not afraid of those fears, then I can use them as a reminder that I care, and to keep caring all the more.

If you made a choice to try and be, say 10% less afraid of your fears today, what difference would that make to your quality of life? Maybe you can try it today and see…

The curve ball: Many of us are so afraid of our fear already that we have pushed our fear into our unconscious – we literally don’t know we are afraid, and we don’t want to know. Accepting the reality that we are afraid is the first step.

Related article: Recognizing Three Types of Fear, Meditating on three Types of Courage

© Toby Ouvry 2015, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *
Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology