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Snake meditation, & new non-duality mediation course

“Snake Wisdom – An appreciation of the mystery & the unknown, both in life and within ourselves”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Lunar new year this Wednesday! With this in mind I thought I’d pen a few thoughts on snake meditation in this week’s article. 

If you enjoy the article, your welcome to join us on Wednesday for the Lunar New Year Meditation 2025: Developing your wisdom, intuition & renewal in the year of the wood snake.

Quick update regarding new events: 
Saturday February 8th, 15th, 22nd, 10-11.40am – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – a three module course
Starts Tues 11th, Weds 12th February, 7.30-8.30 pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to non-dual meditation practice

In the spirit of snake wisdom, 

Toby



Snake meditation
 
Coming up to the Lunar new year, which is the year of the wood snake, I thought it might be interesting to reflect upon a few of the qualities and capacities of the snake, both in Chinese astrological lore, and as a power animal within indigenous traditions more generally. With some of the qualities I’ve put them in their higher and lower expressions, with the idea that you can reflect upon their presence in your own life, steering your expression of them toward their higher aspect.
 
Renewal and rebirth – The association of the snake with rebirth comes from its ability to shed its skin, emerging from its old form anew. In its higher expression this is the capacity to let go of our old self that we have ‘outgrown’ and allow the new self that we have been incubating to be ‘birthed’ and emerge. In its lower expression this might be a tendency within us to ‘shape shift’ and change in the face of circumstances when really, we should be holding true to the values and way of being we feel to be authentic.
 
Wisdom and cunning – “Be ye wise as snakes and innocent as doves” is a phrase from the Bible, Matthew 10:16. The wisdom of the snake in this context is the ability to navigate complex worldly situations appropriately, without loosing our connection to our spiritual simplicity and innocence. This wisdom in its lower expression means becoming cunning in the sense of manipulative, Machiavellian and exploitative of others.
 
Patience – The ability to bear challenges and difficulties with dignity and level headedness, as well as to see medium to long term goals through to their conclusion. The capacity for waiting for the right time and not rushing.
 
Creativity – As per the section on wisdom and cunning, but more generally an innovative capacity both around problem solving, but also in terms of artistic activities.
 
Empathy & diplomacy – The ability to take the perspective of the other person (2nd person), and see where they are coming from, without loosing your sense of where you are coming from. Diplomacy adds the ability to take a third person, objective perspective to 2nd person empathy.
 
Mystery & the unknown – An appreciation of the mysteries and unknowns, both in life and within ourselves. An opening to inner depths. In its lower expression this might be fear of the unknown, of the deep, and sticking to the known out of that fear.
 
To quote a summary from a page on the snake:
 
“People born under the sign of the wood snake tend to have balanced, calm, and reflective personalities. They have a great capacity for analysing situations and a deep interest in understanding the mysteries of the world and themselves.”
 
All in all, it seems like integrating some of like the snake personality into our lives this year could be a good choice for all of us!
 
As well as reflecting on the qualities of the snake, it can also be a very nice exercise to simply sit with an image of a snake, or a memory of meeting one. Let your intuition and inner guidance lead you in your interaction with the snake energy, and see what emerges for you. What comes may be related to some of the above qualities, or it may be something totally unique and unexpected, which is the nice thing about meditating imaginatively in this way.
 
Related article: The Sea Snakes of the Mind

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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Inner transformation – Slippers & carpets

“Seeing reality isn’t easy, because our mind throws our idea of what we think we are seeing onto what we see”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks a wise way to mindfully work with what you can control in your life. If you like the article, you are invited to come along to this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class, where we will be taking this subject as our object of meditation.
 
Also a heads up for this Saturday’s Deep-dive breathing meditation masterclass where we will focus on developing a multi-faceted breathing meditation practice that helps you grow and learn in the face of life’s challenges, and connect you to deep inner stability.
 
In the spirit of slippers,

Toby

 



Inner transformation – Slippers & carpets
 
TRANSFORMATION – by Anthony De Mello
To a disciple who was forever complaining about others, the Master said, “If it is
peace you want, seek to change yourself, not other people. It is easier to protect your feet
with slippers than to carpet the whole of the earth.”
 
This short story is one that I used to use a lot when I was teaching meditation classes as a monk back in the 1990’s. It’s a really good analogy for helping to re-orientate our attention when we are feeling out of balance, and if you think about meditation as a way of ‘protecting your feet with slippers’, then it’s a nice way to encourage regular practice!
 
Annoyed and overwhelmed – trying to fix the world
 
It’s easy to get in the trap of being in a situation where you have limited control, trying to control everything, and then feeling frustrated, disappointed and overwhelmed. This goes for smaller scale situations at work or at home, or simply when watching or reading about world events on the news. ‘Carpeting the world’ is a huge ask which, if you think about it rationally is a ridiculous thing to be trying to do. But if we are not mindful, we keep on attempting it and reap the same result time and time again.

  • In your relationships, are you trying to ‘fix’ your partner instead of working on ways that you can stay inwardly centred yourself?
  • At work do you often find yourself complaining about how it ‘should’ be, rather than accepting what is and making choices based on that?

Mindful of your locus of control – dancing between acceptance and assertion

“What is it that I am in control of here?” Is always a good question to ask as a way to find out how to work with a situation. One consistent answer that you will notice coming back to you time and time again is “I am (potentially) in charge of my thoughts, attitudes and emotions regarding this situation”.

In other worlds you can control what is going in within you. Working on what you notice happening inside is a way of ‘making slippers’ that will always give a high reward wherever you are. Of course, you can’t control literally every thought and feeling, but you can take responsibility for your inner life, and start to make improvements that begin protecting your feet from stones and other sharp objects.

Maybe there are some things outside of you that you are also in control of, so you can consider asserting yourself and acting around these as well. But asking what you are in control of will also make obvious lots of things that you simply can’t control and have to accept. In this sense acceptance of our limits of control should always be a part of our ‘slipper building’ process. For example, I find it quite a relief thinking about the limits of my control regarding whether people like me or not, or want to work with me. I just do what I can within the limits of conscience, and then relax!

One of the biggest and most useful things to accept is ‘I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CARPET THE WORLD!’

Three mindful slipper positions

In this situation (of your choice):

  • Am I trying to carpet the world rather than make slippers?
  • What do I need to accept in order to make my slippers?
  • What inwardly and outwardly can I do that will also contribute to my slipper building?

Related article: Effortless adaptation – Solving all your problems & none (II)


© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Upcoming Meditation classes & workshops in with Toby:

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm 
– Weekly integral meditation classes

From Tues 7th/Weds 8th January, 7.30-8.30pm – The Wisdom of Awakening Series – Meditation for leaping into reality

Saturday, 25th January9.30-11.30am – Deep-dive breathing meditation masterclass

Saturday, 25th January, 5-6pm – Engaged mindfulness & meditation class – ‘Honesty, release and redirection – three levels of non-judgment’

Wednesday 29th January, 7.30-8.30pm – Lunar New Year Meditation 2025: Developing your wisdom, intuition & renewal in the year of the wood snake


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Integral Meditation Asia

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Awakening, not over-thinking

“Growth is achieved by degrees. Enlightenment is instantaneous”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at the practice of waking-up, which is something that we can practice ‘leaping’ into anytime, anywhere. If you like the article, you are invited to come along to this week’s Tuesday & Wednesday meditation class, where we will be taking this subject as our object of meditation.

In the spirit of awakening, 

Toby

 



Awakening, not over-thinking
 
Enlightenment – Waking up to the freedom of awareness
There is a precept in soto zen that goes something like “One must not wait for awakening.” What this means is that you can touch the freedom of the present moment simply by letting go of your pre-occupations and awakening to exactly where you are. You might think of this enlightenment or awakening as having three levels. You start at level one, which even a beginner can do in a rudimentary way, and as you build confidence you work onto levels two and three.
 
Level one involves simply being fully present to an experience. It could be physical/sensory, it could be thought, or even the more subtle experience of awareness itself. You might think of it as a non-resistance to what is, an acceptance that facilitates an awakening to life in the moment.
 
Level two involves noticing that there is an observer within you, a witness that is present to whatever is there. This witness is the ‘I Am’ within you. With a bit of practice, you can not only awaken to objects of awareness in the present, but also that which is aware of the objects in the present, which is the witness, or your enlightened nature itself.
 
Level three involves insight into the not oneness and not two-ness of the object of awareness (level one) with that which witnesses the object of awareness (level two)’

  • If the witnessing awareness is like the ocean, the object of awareness is like a wave
  • If the witnessing awareness is like the sun, the object of awareness is like a light-ray from the sun

This non-one, not-two experience moves us toward a non-dual or unitive awakening in the moment.
The above three practices are methods of awakening, or ‘Waking up’, and you really just have to commit to doing it again and again, awakening to this moment of your life as best you can and ‘improving’ through practice.
 
Awakening, not over-thinking – a practical reflection
 
Over the Christmas period I travelled back to see my family, and spent almost the entire time sick with a bad flu. One of the main ways in which I worked with this in terms of enlightenment and awakening was simply practicing the three levels above:

  1. Being present to the experience as it was
  2. Being aware of my witness
  3. Resting the not-one, not-two-ness of positions one and two

This enabled me to:

  • not over-think about the ‘bad luck’ or difficulty of my situation
  • simply accept it as I found it.

As a result, I was able to minimize my pain, make the experience into a form of meditation, and endure it with a degree of patience.
Of course, I did spend some time thinking and reflecting on my experience, but (almost)) always in the context of finding mental perspectives that are useful and helpful, rather than ruminating.
 
I’ll end with a short story from Anthony De Mello entitled “Rebirth” that illustrates nicely some important ideas around awakening related to this article.
 
REBIRTH
“Make a clean break with your past and you will be enlightened,” said the ‘Master.
“I am doing that by degrees.”
“Growth is achieved by degrees. Enlightenment is instantaneous.”
Later he said, “Take the leap! You cannot cross a chasm in little jumps.”


© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Meditation classes & workshops in January 2025 with Toby:

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm 
– Weekly integral meditation classes

From Tues 7th/Weds 8th January, 7.30-8.30pm – The Wisdom of Awakening Series – Meditation for leaping into reality

Saturday 18th January 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday, 25th January9.30-11.30am – Deep-dive breathing meditation masterclass

Saturday, 25th January, 5-6pm – Engaged mindfulness & meditation class – ‘Honesty, release and redirection – three levels of non-judgment’


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Are you Solar or lunar?

“Help people become creative ‘inner artists’ in their thoughts, emotions, and philosophy, thus empowering them to change their life & work”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article is the first of two looking at my primary motivations both for being an executive  coach & a meditation teacher. It works with the question ‘Are you a solar or lunar being?’. I hope you enjoy it, ‘part two’ is next week.

Details of this week’s meditation class is below, as well as the the Shadow work & Language of the shadow workshops I will be doing in the next few weeks.  
  
In the spirit of creativity,

Toby

Read the follow-up article in the series: Jackal or Tiger? – Creative, wise courage



This week’s article: Are you Solar or lunar?
 
What brings me passion in coaching?
 
I originally trained as an artist, & ceramic sculptor at University. The reasons that I chose a Fine Art degree was because it offered me the maximum bandwidth to explore the freedom of creativity. After graduating, I shifted from being an ‘external artist’, someone that makes external art, to being a meditation practitioner & teacher.
To me meditation was not an abandonment of creativity, but a shift; rather than making external art, I focused on my inner life, creating harmony, balance & ‘beauty’ within myself. A major reason for this was that I noticed that my inner life had a huge impact upon what I experienced outwardly:

  • If my inner self was feeling optimistic and powerful I tended to behave and experience as such in my daily life
  • If my inner self confused, fearful or resentful, perception of my outer world and my behavior in it changed accordingly

As a meditator, I still felt myself to be an artist, but more of an inner artist. The fundamental driving force was still the principle of creativity, but more ‘The inner creativity behind the outer creativity!’
 
So, my driving passion in coaching is this; I help people become creative ‘inner artists’ in their thoughts, emotions, and philosophy, thus empowering them to change the experience of their outer lives and work.
 
Are you a solar or lunar person?
 
I often explain the power of wise creativity in the following manner:
The light of the moon is, in fact the reflected light of the sun. It does not have its own light. People are mostly like the moon in the sense that, whatever environment they go into, they are largely formed & influenced by that environment. For example, if a person starts to work in a new office with a positive culture, then they will become like that too. If they start work in an office with a negative culture, they will tend to become like that.
 
My passion as a coach lies in making people ‘solar’ rather than lunar. The sun is its own light source, its own source of power. It is creative & generative. The real nature of a human being is to be like the sun, to be the creative force in their life. I help people to realize their inner power, & harness it though structured practices that build confidence. My mission is to help people to tap into their own already existing creativity, using it to change and transform their work and personal life for the better.
 
Related coaching services:
Executive coaching
Life-Fullness Life coaching
 
Related articles by Toby:
Mindful of your inner artist – Becoming sola not lunar
Becoming Your Own Mindful Psychotherapist and Life Coach


© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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Born from Life, not into it

“What if, rather than being an intruder into life, we relate to ourself as being born from life, & belonging to Life?”

Dear Integral Meditators,

How we conceive our relationship to life is fundamental to how we experience it. This week’s article looks at how to work with this domain in mindfulness & through contemplation.

Heads up for the the Cultivating your Nirvana, or inner freedom mini retreat on the morning of this Saturday the 12th, & for the Meditation & Mindfulness for Creating a Mind of Ease, Relaxed Concentration and Positive Intention workshop on Saturday 26th.


In the spirit of Life,

Toby
 


Born from Life, not into it

One of my main informal objects of meditation for the last few weeks has been the distinction between being born into life and being born from it. There are several significant changes in perception that this invites that I think are worth sharing.   

The challenge of alienation
If our sense of being born is that of being born into life, it is very easy for that to give rise to a sense of separateness from our environment and the place we inhabit. ‘Born into’ can have the connotation of being like an alien or an asteroid landing on the planet, like a foreign entity in a strange world. There is a sense of fundamental unrelatedness to the place we find ourself. This conception then opens us to a feeling of existential anxiety, of being threatened and aggressed by our surroundings, and where we must carve out our space despite of our lack of belonging.   

Being born from
What if, rather than being an intruder into life, we relate to ourself as being born from life, and belonging to and in Life? In terms of the truth of it, there is no question of this. Our body was literally conceived of by our parents, who in turn were born from their parents and their bodies. You can trace this all the way back through the species of animals and plants to life being born in the ocean. As a unit of life we emerged from life, life gives rise to life.

A wave from the ocean
Thinking like this we start to relate to ourself as a natural extension of life, emerging from Life at birth, and returning back to Life at death (Life capital L to denote Life as a principle and underlying energy). Thought of this way life and death are not seen as enemies; we emerge from Life as an expression of Life at birth like a wave from the ocean. When we die our life simply merges back into Life, like a wave back into the ocean. It is a natural, smooth, seamless continuum. Changing our relationship to life like this, we then significantly change our relationship to death.

An apple from a tree
Another way of relating to being born from Life is that we realize our relationship to it is like that of an apple or a leaf to an apple tree. The apple emerges from the Life of the tree itself, not as something separate from the tree. The life of the tree gives rise to the apple. The apple arises from the tree itself, in the same way that the tree came from the life in the apple that it grew from.
You are like the apple being born from the apple tree. The life in you is a part of Life, you are an expression of Life, and Life is you.

No room for impostor syndrome
Relating to yourself as being born from Life, an expression of Life, there is a sense of belonging to Life, being a part of Life, being deeply at home in Life. There is no sense of not belonging where you are, not being appropriate to Life, of somehow being ‘in the wrong place’. You are in fact exactly where you are supposed to be. You belong here as much as anything or anyone else.
The things that you are offered in and by Life you are deserving of, there isn’t even a question of that.

Being born from and (dying) merging back into Life.
A wave arising from and merging back into the ocean.
An apple arising from an apple tree.
You belong absolutely, and you are at home, truly.

Related articleTrees, birds & Octopuses – Achieving harmony by letting be

© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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Witnessing the witness article

“Looking outward, the sun of our awareness illuminates our world, looking in on itself, it notices the watcher of the world”

Dear Integral Meditators,

October has a full routine of classes, retreats & workshopsto enjoy, both live & online, starting with the  Mindful Self-Confidence workshop this Saturday 5th, & the Cultivating your Nirvana, or inner freedom mini retreat on the morning of the 12th.
You can find full details of all sessions beneath this weeks article on ‘Witnessing the witness’.

In the spirit of meditation in action,  

Toby


Witnessing the witness – The sun turning in on itself
 
The witness self – your inner sun

One way to center yourself in the present is to focus on a single object in the present moment, such as your body, your breathing, a thought, an image and so on. A second major way to center yourself is to center your attention around the observer within you, and its process of observation. This practice is called witnessing. All you need to do is center in your position as the witnessing observer within your field of awareness.
When you witness, it is important to get the balance right between transcending and including. What I mean by this is the balance of two qualities:

  • Transcending means you observe in a detached manner, treating your observed content as an object
  • Including meaning that you observe your objects inclusively, touching them with care and warmth

In a previous article I compare witnessing to the Sun;

  • The sun shines its life-giving warmth upon us generously
  • At the same time it’s light and warmth are completely impersonal and detached

So, when you witness, good technique transcends and includes the observed object, like the sun shines it’s light on us.

Things to witness

One of the great things about witnessing is exactly the way it turns subjects of consciousness into objects of consciousness. It is much easier to work with and master an object of consciousness compared to something that you are deeply identified with. So, what I like to do regularly is to take as my object of witnessing awareness the things that are bothering or triggering me that day. For example:

  • If I’m feeling anxious about something such as a meeting
  • If I’m feeling the need to be right with someone, and the past conversation keeps replaying
  • If I’m feeling grumpy or distressed about physical pain
  • If I’m feeling sad

…or attached to something/someone, and sometimes if I am feeling good about something, and I can tell I’m really identified with that feeling.

What you do is take your experience as the object of sun-like witnessing, and make it into an object of consciousness rather than a subject of consciousness. At a certain point you will feel the subjective power of that experience fading. It is still there, maybe even still feeling strong, but it is an object, rather than a subject of consciousness. This changes the experience, making it much easier to adapt to and work with.

The sun turning in on itself

Another core practice that you can build once you get used to witnessing, is witnessing the witness. If you were to imagine the light of the sun, which normally shines outwards, turns and shines inwards, this is the essential movement of witnessing the witness. This is a different form of witnessing because:

  • Witnessing consciousness itself has no form, it is just formless, timeless awareness. So there is nothing to ‘see’
  • Secondly, the witness is the absolute subject of consciousness. As such it cannot know itself in the same way as looking at an object from the outside. When you witness the witness, you simply notice the feeling of being the witness, and take that sense of formless timeless ‘being’ as your object of meditation

If you imagine the sun as your basic image for witnessing, and then imagine the sun turning it’s light and shining in on itself, this is a useful analogy and image for meditation to use to gradually access direct experience of the ‘witnessing the witness’ practice.

Structuring your witnessing practice

If I do a 20-minute witnessing meditation for example, quite often I will split the time;

  • 5minutes witnessing an object
  • 5minutes witnessing the witness
  • x2

Putting them together creates a powerful one-two punch for the practice!

Related article: Witnessing like the sun

Witnessing – Being that which is not

Bodies within bodies – Witnessing with your energy bodies

Bare attention – Your inner bird-watcher
 
© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Upcoming meditation sessions & workshops with Toby 

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing, Tuesday/Wednesday evening’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Meditating with the power of intention – An eleven module course

Saturday 5th October, 9.30am-12.30pm – Developing Your Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness Workshop

Saturday 12th October, 9-11.30amIntegral meditation deep dive mini-retreat – Cultivating your Nirvana, or inner freedom

Saturday 26th October, 9.30am-12.30pmMeditation & Mindfulness for Creating a Mind of Ease, Relaxed Concentration and Positive Intention

Saturday October 26th, 5-6pm Singapore time Engaged mindfulness & meditation online class : What is self-awareness?

Tuesday 29th & Wednesday 30th Oct, 7.30-8.30 – Deepavali Meditation – Connecting to your inner light


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The sky of freedom, the fullness of the sun

“Meditative presence – The fullness of our whole being combined with a sense of inner spaciousness and freedom”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

Next week is the start of the Autumn meditation series Meditating with the power of intention – An eleven module course. One of the foundational intentions that we will be working with is the intention to awaken. This weeks article looks at what we are awakening to in meditation, whether we are a beginner or more advanced!

In the spirit of freedom & fullness, 

Toby
 



Sky & sun, freedom & fullness
 
Meditative presence might be thought of as having two basic qualities; freedom and fullness. There are many levels or ‘octaves’ of this experience, ranging from the foundational experience of the beginner, to the deep awakening of more experienced practitioners. The nice thing about relating to meditative presence in this way is that we can experience it on the level that we are at, and grow it as the days, months and years go by. This month I have experienced a tangible deepening of my own experience of this. I have been practising for thirty years, I don’t expect it to be the last time, it’s a process that really has no edges to it!
 
So, what do we mean freedom and fullness? In a previous article I described meditative presence as being:
Full, not empty – When we sit in awareness of the present moment, we start to feel a sense of fullness in that moment. We can then turn up to life with this feeling of fullness, which helps counterbalance the feeling of emptiness that many people feel when they think about themselves and their life.
Empty, not full – Sitting with awareness in the present moment enables us to empty of all the complex thinking and inner noise that our mind is overburdened or overfilled with. We access a sense of ‘empty’ pleasurable inner spaciousness.


Meditation enables us to connect to the fullness of our own presence, and the sense of completeness or wholeness that that gives us. It also enables us to empty our mind of busy thoughts, also and empty our body of excessive tension, giving rise to a sense of inner spaciousness and freedom. In meditative presence there is a chance to step into a deep sense of inner fullness and freedom, starting to relate to ourselves as being fundamentally, in essence that way; full, whole, free, liberated. Starting to relate to ourselves in this way as we go about daily life, we may also start noticing changes in our behaviour and how we experience things. We feel less oppressed and trapped, and more creative, spontaneous, and playful.
 
The sky of freedom, the fullness of the sun

One image that can be useful and powerful to meditate on is your inner fullness being like the sun, and your freedom being like the sky. If when in meditation you imagine the fullness of your being as like a beautiful sun within your heart-space, surrounded by a clear, open sky, which is the natural freedom of your awareness. As you breathe in, feel your energy gathering into the fullness of the sun at your heart, feel the natural wholeness & completeness of it. As you breathe out, let go of tension in your body and thoughts in your mind, relaxing into the sky-like freedom of your own awareness.

If you work with this image, you may find that it helps you connect more profoundly and quickly to your natural state of freedom and fullness. If after a while you feel you have a real sense of the actual state of freedom and fullness, then you can drop the sun and sky image and simply rest in the experience of your natural freedom and fullness. If you find yourself loosing that sense, then you can return to the image as a way of re-connecting.

Another way of doing this is by positioning yourself in front of a window, or sitting outside or walking where you have clear sight of the actual sun and sky. You can use mindful awareness of the actual sun and sky as a way of connecting to freedom and fullness. As always, these things need to be done to be understood fully. Simply reading it on a page won’t reveal it’s potential!

Related article: Mindfulness – Liberation through pre-psychology

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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creative imagery Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Stress Transformation

Developmental acceptance – Allowing it to be messy & imperfect

“Skillful acceptance means noticing that you can center yourself in the middle of feelings of chaos, messiness, or dis-orientation, be present to them without panicking”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article looks at how to use mindfulness to work with your reality in a creative way, even and particularly when it seems messy!

If you enjoy the article, it will be the subject of our meditation at this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday Meditation class: 
 The Wisdom of Awakening Series:  Meditations for cultivating your inner guidance & guru.
All welcome to attend. This series is the course for this week and July.

In the spirit of acceptance,

Toby



Developmental acceptance – Allowing things to be messy & imperfect
 
Harmony from chaos – The way of the artist and creative
At a certain stage in my path, I spent time working with the idea of my art (at the time painting & sculpture) as a path of ‘harmony through conflict’. This basically meant that, to create beauty or harmony, you need to reach into chaos, disorder and sometimes ugliness. Then, by working skilfully with it you can draw out the beauty and order. So, the first part of any creative process then, is to learn to ‘be’ with the disorder/chaos, and start working with it from a centred point of view.
 
Chaos, inner and outer is messy
The tricky part about sitting with chaos is that the feeling of it is very ‘messy’ and confusing. It doesn’t feel comfortable to sit with. One reason why many people are not more creative is because they would prefer to sit with a reality that feels ‘tidy’, ordered and ‘safe’, even if that version of reality is someone else’s, even if it is dysfunctional, and even if the ‘order’ isn’t that appealing to us.
 
Accepting & working with chaos
So, to work with the messiness of reality, and start building our capacity to work with it creatively, we first must practice ‘sitting with the messiness’, which is to say sitting and getting comfortable with it, which actually means ‘getting comfortable with the uncomfortable’(!)
To get comfortable with messiness means accepting that it makes us anxious and dis-oriented. Skillful acceptance means noticing that you can center yourself in the middle of those feelings of chaos and messiness, be present to them without panicking. From the centred comfort that acceptance gives you, you can then look for ways to:

  • Notice what’s useful and good about the current messy-ness
  • Make small initial steps towards ordering the situation
  • Let your intuitive, rational and instinctual intelligence work together to see patterns in the chaos that help you start to see what the situation is offering you, and what it can become

 
Practicing developmental acceptance
On a practical level, I find this type of developmental acceptance enables me to work with what is happening in my day much more creatively. For example, today:

  • Sitting down at my desk to write this article, I found that the initial idea I had did not ‘fit’ like I imagined it would
  • This immediately put me in a place of dis-orientation, discomfort. Centering in that dis-orientation and getting comfortable with it, I became curious about how I could start to mold a new order from the messiness. Staying centered also needed a bit of the qualities of care and courage to stay with it; some gentle positive inner self-talk and re-assurance
  • Acceptance itself started to emerge as a theme, relaxing into it, and without trying too hard I let my intuition, rationality, and instinct start to put some structure to the basic theme, to sculpt and form a harmony from the mess
  • Forty minutes or so later I had written the article that you are now reading

 
You will notice from the above description that the first ‘move’ was noticing and accepting the initial ‘messiness’ of my reality. Accepting and centering like this then enabled me to harmonize my reality much more quickly and effectively than if I had been fighting with it.
You will notice also that I use the three C’s, curiosity, courage and care as a central part of the ‘developmental acceptance’ methodology.
 
Related readingCultivating your positive imperfectionist
Applying the Three C’s of Engaged Mindfulness

© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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Concentration creative imagery Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership

Making your visualization practice integral

“If you observe your mind, you will see that your unconscious imagination is very active, creating scenario’s regarding our past, present and future. What if you made this process conscious, deliberate & directed?”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article focuses on visualization meditation. If you enjoy the article, then do come along for the summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation this Tues or Weds, live or online. In it we do quite a lot of visualization work, particularly around goals for the next quarter of the year.  

You are invited to the Free Wisdom of Awakening meditation webinar this Thursday.
 
In the spirit of conscious visualization,

Toby

 



Article: Making your visualization practice integral
 
In my individual coaching practice, and in my group classes this week we have done quite a lot on visualization with meditation. The essential idea is that you can accelerate your growth in a particular area, develop a skill and/or to a degree ‘attract’ things that you might want into your life using conscious visualization. Below are a few practice points to bear in mind that will improve any visualization you might want to do. It will also make it more ‘whole’ and complete. I will not claim that the list below includes everything about visualization, but it covers some big fundamentals.
 
Practice 1 – you are visualizing all the time: If you observe your mind, you will start to notice that a lot of it is essentially ‘fantasizing’ or imagining scenarios regarding our past, present and future. You will see that your process of visualization is often very active already. This first practice is to

  • Notice your daily, often unconscious, visualization practice. Make it into an object of mindful observation, rather than something that you get mindlessly lost in
  • Choose which fantasies you follow and encourage, and release/let go of fantasies that aren’t serving your higher purpose

 
Practice 2 – contextualization of the past: Whenever you think of the past, you imagine it anew in your inner vision. So be careful to think and imagine the past in a way that invites positivity, appreciation, and good energy, rather than getting stuck in rumination-loops.
 
Practice 3 – Visualizing yourself present: If you are visualizing around a particular situation, imagine the qualities with which you turn up. For example, imagine turning up to your public speaking event, your squash match or your children’s party focused but relaxed, caring toward yourself and others, energised and enthusiastic, giving yourself positive self-talk as you go.
 
Practice 4 – the specifics of the short-term picture: Short term picture might be the next 2-6 weeks say. If you want to grow your business, or improve in your sport, what are the particular focus points you want to improve? Identify then see them in your minds eye, create pathways in your brain and body to doing these specifics better the next time you sit at your desk, meet a client, play your squash game.  
 
Practice 5 – medium and long-term outcomes: A medium-term outcome might be 3-6months. A long-term outcome might be more than a year, 3 to 5 years, or the final endgame you want from any training or activity, such as achieving a certain type of lifestyle, or becoming a master at a sport or art. Here you can really get involved in creating ‘ideal scenes’ of what it looks and feels like. Some of this will be specific images where particular experiences have been manifested. Other parts of the visualization would be more around the ‘mood and the feeling’ that you have now that you have achieved your end goal.
 
It takes a while to gat back your visualization skills. Because we use screens and computers to create images that we then just look at, initially when we start to visualize we may have to accept that our inner image-making skills are quite poor. However, if we practice consistently, you will find that your image-ination starts to regenerate quite naturally and powerfully, so don’t be discouraged. In any domain in your life you want to improve, practicing visualization that includes all five areas outlined above will help it to be a complete and powerful practice.  
 
Related Reading: Envisioning & presence – Climbing the mindful mountain
On mindful visualization
Mindful imagination – from superstition to manifestation
 
Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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Awareness and insight creative imagery Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

Integrating reality & symbolic reality

“Much of what we take for our reality are just mental symbols about reality. Reality itself is something different, something that must be experienced directly”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

There are two ways in which you can use the article below. The first is by reading it and using the example as a way of exploring it in meditation. The second is, having understood the basic idea simply ask yourself the question:

“What do I notice about the inter-relationship between my symbolic reality & reality itself?”

Then just watch your experience mindfully for a period of time & see what you start to notice.
 
Between this message and the article is the events list for June, starting with this weekend’s stress transformation workshop.
 
In the spirit of integration,

Toby

 


Meditation sessions & workshops with Toby in June: 


Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule
 

Saturday 8th June, 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Workshop

Tues 18th/Weds 19th June – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Mindfulness for emotional intelligence masterclass – Saturday 22nd June, 10am-12noon

Start
s Tues /Weds 25th & 26th June, 7.30-8.30pm – The Wisdom of Awakening Series:  Meditations for cultivating your inner guidance & guru


Article: Integrating reality & symbolic reality



 
Thinking – the manipulation of symbols
What is thinking really? There are several ways of answering this, I’d like to focus here on thinking as essentially a way of creating and manipulating symbols about our reality. Thinking is not reality itself, but arrangements of symbols representing reality. That’s worth reflecting upon, because when we do, we immediately start to realize that a lot of what we take for our reality is actually just thoughts, or symbols about reality. Reality itself is something different, something that must be experienced directly. This is a main point of meditation, to move beyond our mental symbols, encountering our reality directly, as it is. As the Zen saying goes, “Reality is not what you think!”
 
Integrating symbols & reality

Using symbols to think about reality can either be helpful for us to expand our sense reality, or it can narrow it. One way in which I like to work with mental models or symbols is to take 2-4 mental models of reality, and then cross-reference them. Each model reveals something different and complementary from the other models. When we put them together, you get a richer, more whole and integrated sense of what is be there.
 
A practice involving three models of reality

What I am going to do now is take three models of reality itself from a western religious, Hindu spiritual and Taoist philosophical perspective. Then I will describe how to put them together in a process of mindful enquiry into our experience of reality itself.
 
Model 1: Reality as hierarchical, God at the top, wo/man at the bottom – from a western Christian, (or Hebrew or Islamic) perspective, reality is a hierarchy with God/ Spirit at the top, and humans/earth at the bottom. Our relation to God is that of a servant to a King, and western/middle-eastern religion organizes and expresses itself accordingly. If you think about the Sistine chapel, God is on the roof, man is below (With only hell beneath!). This model can see archaic, but if you look at the way reality organizes itself, it is substantially hierarchical.
 
Model 2: Reality as a drama – in the Hindu & Buddhist model, the world is more like a drama. At the core of every living being is the One Self, or our Buddha Nature. Our outer appearances are like masks in a drama, each personality and aspect playing a role in a drama. Reality is seen as a play of the illusion created by spirit, for the entertainment of spirit.
 
Model 3: Reality as an organism – The Taoist model (the Tao is often described as “the way of nature’) is reality as more organismic in nature; no particular hierarchies, no one thing in charge of creating the rest. Reality is conceived as a network of interrelated parts, moving into and out of balance according to the principle of the Tao (the way) and of yin & yang.
 
So, if you consider each of these three models in turn, you’ll get a sense of the aspects of reality it is trying to describe. Crucially, none of these models are reality itself. Nor are any other approaches, scientific, artistic, sociological, economic etc…Reality is always itself, always a direct experience that we encounter each day.
If you sit quietly with each of these three symbolic representations of reality, cross referencing them with each other, and then with your actual experience of reality, you start to get a rich sense of the wholeness and integration between them, and the relationship between those symbols and reality itself.  If you take a ‘both/and’ rather than an ‘either/or’ approach, the reward is access to an overall sense of wholeness and integration in your life, one that helps us counter the often-pronounced sense of fragmentation and disconnect that characterizes our experience.
 
Related articleMindfully enhancing your psychological development

 
Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Follow Toby onLinkedInYouTubeInstagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology