Category: Integral Awareness

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Self-acceptance – You are not the enemy!

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“Self-acceptance involves the ability to hold ourselves lightly and playfully…well-practised, self-acceptance leads to self-empowerment and enjoyment, not resignation!”
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Dear Toby

The state of self-acceptance is a major asset to our wellbeing. The article below explores some pointers for beginning your own mindful exploration of self-acceptance. If you enjoy it, then it will be the subject of this weeks’ Tuesday and Wednesday evening class, so feel free to come along!
And a final reminder of the beginners meditation workshop this Saturday!

In the spirit of self-acceptance,

Toby

Self-acceptance – You are not the enemy!

One definition of self-acceptance that I have found enduringly useful is from Nat Branden who defined it as ‘A refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with yourself’. This means:

  • The principle of being on your own side in life
  • The principle of accepting who you are and proceeding from there
  • The principle of lightness and self-responsibility

The principle of being on your own side in life
This basically means being committed to treating yourself as a good friend would. When you are going through a difficult time, a good friend is one who listens to you with care, does not judge (unless asked to), who holds space for you with support and warmth, and when necessary acts to defend you. Imagine you are that friend to yourself and try practising accordingly.

The principle of accepting who you are and proceeding from there
We are often our own harshest critic. Self-acceptance involves accepting the things that we find difficult about ourselves without self-hatred or loathing. This includes:

  • Emotions or patterns of thought that we have that we find undesirable
  • Aspects of our appearance that we find unattractive
  • Past actions, our life circumstances

With acceptance of all these things we can then proceed to create a strategy to change them in ways that are realistic and appropriate, but our motivation changes from fixing something unacceptable that we hate, to improving something that we have already accepted and are at peace with.

The principle of lightness
When we get stuck in an adversarial relationship to ourself, or hate who we are, it can often feel very heavy, dark and serious. Self-acceptance involves the ability to hold ourselves lightly and playfully. This in turn makes our ability to take responsibility for change in our life easier. Well-practised, self-acceptance leads to self-empowerment and enjoyment, not resignation!

Related articles: From resignation to positive acceptance
Seriously light, lightly serious

Article © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia 

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, April 20th & 27th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 27th April, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday 4th May, 10am-4.30pm – An introduction to meditation from the perspective of Shamanism

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Mindfully unhooking your mind

Dear Integral Meditators,
Why not take a bit of time each day to ‘mindfully unhook’ yourself from the repeating thoughts and feelings that are tearing you up, and return your body, mind and heart to health and balance…the article below explains one way you can do this!
A quick reminder of the  Stress-transformation coaching offer details below, and the Stress transformation workshop this Saturday…In the spirit of unhooking,Toby

Special offer on Stress-Transformation coaching
Stress transformation coaching with Toby helps you to transform your present overwhelm, stress, anxiety and other difficult emotions into forces for the good in your life. The coaching focuses upon thriving in situations and circumstances that would previously make you unhappy, fearful, inhibited and so on…See full details here.

Get 15% off the usual cost, offer ends on Tuesday 16th April 

Unhooking your mind

A few days ago, I was feeling over-tired, over-stretched and over-whelmed. When I’m in this state I know that its very easy for challenging thoughts and emotions in my mind to become a lot more dramatic/catastrophic than my life is, in reality.
I knew from past experience that, in this situation, what I need to do is just stop for a while and gather myself.
So, I sat down to do a bit of meditation. As I began to calm down and breathe, I saw an image of myself underwater, with many little fishhooks in me. I was struggling around, and this was causing the hooks to tear my flesh even more. I saw myself in the image stop struggling, becoming still and relaxing. As I relaxed, I could feel the pain in my mind becoming less, and I could see the hooks stop tearing at my flesh in the image. I started to feel comfortable, gradually I could see the hooks in my body gradually dissolving away, and my flesh healing. As the image changed I could feel the energy in my body, mind and heart calming and regenerating. I became comfortable.
By the time I had finished sitting, I felt centred and recharged. My challenges had not gone away, but they felt different. I felt stronger, and able to take courage and continue moving toward the best that my life has to offer, and to continue to express myself according the values that mean the most to me.

This is a simple imaginative technique that you can use yourself anytime to ‘mindfully unhook’ yourself from the repeating thoughts and feelings that are tearing you up, and return your body, mind and heart to health and balance.

Related articles: When you are trapped in a thornbush
Big Enough, Specific Enough (Dealing with spiky minds)

Article © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia 

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, April 20th & 27th – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Tues & Weds 2nd/3rd April – Monthly astrological meditation – Aries – I Am: Developing confidence in yourself and your identity in the world

Saturday 13th April 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditations for transforming negativity and stress into positivity and enlightenment

FOR BEGINNERS: Saturday 27th April, 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Mindful of: The next thing  

“You can’t control everything about what will happen in your life. However, you can control what you are going to focus on in the next hour or so, and you can spend that time doing what you have chosen with a substantial amount of control.”

Basic mindfulness involves giving yourself a point to focus on in the present moment. This point then allows you to:

  • Focus your energy
  • Calm your mind
  • Feel as if you are doing something constructive
  • Take your attention away from worry and distraction

One way of doing this that I find incredibly useful is just to ask myself:
What are the one, or maximum two things that I want to focus my energy on in the next hour? (or the next time period ahead of you, say the morning, afternoon, evening).
Having identified the one or two activities that I want to do, I use them as my centring object or point of focus; the most important things I need to do in the next hour.
For example, right now over the next hour I want to write this article and send it out, and then do a backup email for last night’s meditation class. Knowing this then enables me to relax and enjoy focusing on these two tasks, without worrying about what comes after them, or trying to take anything else on. Because of this I feel a certain degree of peace; I am present focused not future focused.

You can control the immediate future
You can’t control everything about what will happen in your life. There will always be a degree of uncertainty, unpredictability and challenge. That’s just the nature of being. And likely there will always be one too many things on your ‘to do’ list. However, you can control what you are going to focus on in the next hour or so, and you can spend that time doing what you have chosen with a substantial amount of control.

By choosing to focus on what you can control in this moment, you are setting yourself to enjoy this period of time, and to engage in activities that make the likelihood of ‘success’ in the medium and long term future more likely.

For the next hour work, or relax, or play, or rest, deliberately. Make the next thing your mindful anchor.

Related article: Street mindfulness

Article and picture © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 

Integral Meditation Asia

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Meditation for cultivating vitality – Three practices

Below are three simple ways in which you can build vital energy in your body through meditation. They can be practised individually or in combination. They have the general meditation benefit of calming and focusing the body-mind, with the addition of specifically promoting the build-up and flow of life-force through the body.

Method 1 – Relaxing into tension:
Rather than fighting and seeking to get rid of tension, discomfort or fatigue in your body, make a point of moving towards it and relaxing into it. Try and locate the principal areas of tension in your body. Once you have identified them, take some time to work with each one in turn. Take a few breaths where as you inhale you allow yourself to feel the tension in that part of the body. Then, as you exhale relax into it and release. The principle here is that, if you focus attention on the area of the body where energy is blocked and work on releasing it, that will allow new energy and vitality to flow into that area of the body. Let your body relax so that vital energy can flow easily to areas where it is needed.

Method 2 – Breathing into your belly
In both the Zen and Qi gong traditions of meditation, there is a lot of emphasis upon breathing into the belly area, where the core of your body’s life-force (see my article on the Dan-tiens in qi gong) is said to be located. Initially, simply placing the palm of one hand on your belly, just beneath the belly button, and focusing on the rising and falling of the abdomen is a good way to start. Then once you have basic familiarity, you can visualize a ball of light about the size of a tennis ball sitting within the centre of the lower belly area. As you breathe in, see the ball glowing gently with vitality and life-force. As you breathe out see the light and energy from the ball expanding out into the rest of your body, filling it with energy. If you do this consistently, you will find that you have a real, tangible feeling of this energy building and expanding as you do the exercise.

Method 2 – Sitting like a pyramid
If you want to bring a sense of solidity and grounded-ness into your belly breathing, imagine your body as being like a pyramid as you sit and do the belly breathing. Imagine your hips and belly are like the broad base of the pyramid, with your chest and head tapering up to a point, so your hips and belly are super stable and broad. As you breathe in and out of the belly, release tension from your upper body downwards into the belly and hips, building the feeling of strength and stability.

Adding a smile
A final simple method you can combine with any of the above methods; add a gentle half smile into the mix:

  • As you release tension from the parts of your body, smile to them gently and warmly
  • As you breathe in and out of the belly, imagine the energy is warm and smiling, positively radiating out from the belly into the rest of the body.

Wishing you enjoyment with your experience of mindful vitality!

Related articles: 
Mindful Centring – three sitting positions
Breathing from your belly

Article and picture © Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 

All Courses at Integral Meditation Asia for February

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, 16th & 23rd February – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturday 23rd February 11-12.30pm –   Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday 23rd February, 3.30-5.30pm – Developing Your Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness Workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

Unstructured mindfulness – Turning and facing yourself

Dear  Integral Meditators,

What might happen if you spent 5-10mins each day simply turning your attention within you and becoming more self-aware? The article below explores this question, and how you can start to engage in this form of ‘unstructured mindfulness’ practice.

In the spirit of self-awareness,

Toby

Unstructured mindfulness – Turning and facing yourself

“Focus on holding the position of the observer. If you do this you will notice that there is a feeling of stability within you that comes from the discipline of holding this position, and doing nothing more.”

The value of self-awareness
One of the main points of mindfulness is to increase your self-awareness. The more self-aware you are, the more self-knowledge you will have. The more self-knowledge you have, the more likely you are to make intelligent choices that will lead to you both being effective in your life and nurture your wellbeing.
There are many ways of using mindfulness to increase self-awareness, but essentially, it just means spending regular time turning and looking within.

How you do it – turning and facing
Unstructured mindfulness is simply the act of turning your attention inwards and noticing what is going on within your body, heart and mind. You just turn your attention from the outer world to your inner, or interior world, and watch. You are not following a structure or listening to a voice leading you through a process, you are just turning your mental gaze inwards and noticing what is going on within you, in the moment. If you do this, you will start to become aware of things going on in a way that you were not previously. This means that you are increasing your self-awareness.

Stability comes from the position of the observer
As you are doing this, all you need to do is hold the position of the observer. Watch and notice. Don’t try and fix or alter, simply focus gently on holding the position of the observer. If you do this you will notice that there is an increasingly reliable feeling of stability within you that comes from holding the position of the observer, and doing nothing more.

Two anchors for support
The act of turning and facing yourself can be quite intimidating for some people. With this in mind, here are two simply methods or positions you can use to anchor your mind to as you watch:

  1. The non-emergency of the present moment – Recognize that in this moment, right now, there is no immanent emergency. Relax into the recognition that you are safe, and you can afford this time to just turn inward and watch!
  2. Letting your body breath – If difficult or challenging things come up as you watch your mind and body, let your body breathe in a way that helps you to accept and then release what comes up. If you let it, your body knows how to breath in a way that will lead you and it gradually towards balance and equilibrium.

© Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation AsiaOngoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am, 16th & 23rd February – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Tues & Weds February 12/13th – Monthly astrological meditation – Aquarius: Developing your inner knowing and self-knowledge

Saturday 9th February, 9.30am-12.30pm  – Going from overwhelmed to overwell meditation workshop

Saturday 23rd February 11-12.30pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday 23rd February, 3.30-5.30pm – Developing Your Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness Workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Inner vision Integral Awareness Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Trusting Yourself (Your first Guardian Angel)

Dear  Integral Meditators,

This Sunday I will be doing a workshop on your meditation with your Guardian Angels. Before you start thinking about how you relate to ‘spiritual guardians’, its really important to realize that your first personal guardian is yourself, your mind and your ‘inner signals’.
The article below explores in a practical way how you can build trust in yourself and your inner signals.
Those interested in the workshop, just click on the link below. You can also see my previous article on Understanding and working with your Guardian Angel.

In the spirit of trusting your inner signals,

Toby

This Sunday 27th January, 2-5pm – Meditations for connecting to and working with your Guardian Angel

In a sentence: Learn how you can use meditation as a practical way of connecting to and communicating with your guardian angel.
All of the great wisdom traditions speak of speak of spiritual guardians who can offer us support, guidance and protection on our journey through life. This workshop focuses specifically on the tradition of the personal guardian angel. In the session you will learn what is mean by an ‘angel’ or angelic being, and what is the nature and function of our own guardian angel….click here for full details.

Trusting Yourself (Your first Guardian Angel)

Mindfulness and meditation can give us temporary calm and relief from the continuous activity of our thinking mind, but if we are tempted to use it as a way of escaping from our mind then we should be wary.
Ideally mindfulness should be a way of gaining confidence and trust in our mind and ourself so that gradually our relationship to our thinking mind becomes more and more harmonious and mutually supportive; our thoughts support a healthy experience of self, and our sense of self encourages a reliable approach to thinking about our life experience.
Nathaniel Branden has in interesting definition of self-confidence, he says “Self confidence is confidence in the reliability of our mind as a tool of cognition…it is the conviction that we are genuinely committed to perceiving and honouring reality to the fullest extent of our volitional power.”
So, the long and the short of this is that in order to be genuinely and deeply self-confident, you need to learn to trust your mind, and use it as well as you are able within the limits of your ability.

Pseudo-self confidence
Quite a few people exert a lot of effort building pseudo self-confidence in order to disguise their fundamental lack of trust in their own mind and judgment. We might become very physically fit, or very wealthy, or have read all the right books about being a parent, have gained many educational certificates and degrees, or even become an expert meditator (and other examples ad infinitum) all as a way of building a buffer between ourself and our actual moment to moment experience of reality and life. Fundamentally we don’t trust our mind to be able to deal with it effectively; deep down we lack self-confidence, so we build buffers and things to hide behind.

Three mindful questions for building self-confidence and trust in your mind.
Take a situation in your life, perhaps something that you have experienced today. Ask yourself three questions in turn:
“What am I seeing and experiencing here”
“What are my mind, emotions and senses signalling to me about what I am seeing and experiencing?”
“Am I honouring my own experience and mind here or am I turning away from it?”The answer to the third question will tell you whether you are using this activity and experience to build your self-confidence and trust in your own mind, or whether you are subverting it. As the old saying goes “Many drops of water slowly dripping into a pot will eventually make it full”; in our day by day journey to self-confidence, or to a lack of it, this saying rubs both ways.Generally the challenge here is not that we don’t know enough, but that we know more than we would like, and would rather avoid the responsibility of that knowledge.

© Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com 

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation AsiaOngoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

January 29/30th, 7.30-8.30pm – Lunar new year meditation 2019: Being benevolent and big-hearted in the year of the Pig

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am :16th & 23rd February  – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturdays , 4-5.30pm – Mindfulness group coaching sessions with Toby

Saturday 26th January, 1-4pm – Growing your mindful freedom meditation workshop

Sunday 27th January, 2-5pm – Meditations for connecting to and working with your Guardian Angel

FEBRUARY

Saturday 9th February, 9.30-12.30 – Going from overwhelmed to overwell meditation workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Concentration creative imagery Integral Awareness Life-fullness Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

Six aspects of mindful self-leadership – (Channeling your inner mountain-goat)

Dear  Integral Meditators,

Setting your own pace and direction in life is a big key to personal fulfilment and esteem. In the article below I detail six aspects of self-leadership that I have found to be useful in terms of my own path.

In the spirit of self-leadership,

Toby

 

 

Six aspects of mindful self-leadership – (Channeling your inner mountain-goat)

We can receive support and encouragement from others in our life, but finally we are the ones who are responsible for choosing what we want, and taking the direction that we want to go in. Good mindful self-leadership skill are among the most important qualities that you can develop if you are looking for happiness and personal fulfillment. Here are six aspects of self-leadership that it is worthwhile being aware of and practicing.

Setting your own pace and giving yourself permission
As mammals we are always looking left and right to see what people around us are doing, and making comparisons between ‘where we are, and where they are’. This can result in us speeding up or slowing down in reaction to what’s around. The set your own pace means  know what you want, and set the right pace for you to get things done in the way you want. If everyone is going out to party, and your tired out, then stay in. If everyone else is telling you to go in one direction, but your inner signals are telling you not to, then listen to them and act accordingly. Know yourself and set your own pace and speed.

The courage of acceptance
Accepting who you are, what you are feeling, the situation in front of you. Accepting your anxiety or excitement, your loneliness, your passion or insecurity. Accept and work with what is really present for you in this moment, don’t live in denial of it. This gives you your basic ‘reality orientation’ from which you can then proceed to lead yourself to where you want to go.

Owning your goals and taking responsibility 
What are the goals that when you hold them in your heart you really notice a tangible movement toward enthusiasm, excitement, passion? Identifying the goals that are really, truly important to you, yours and not other peoples is super important. From there the task becomes ‘What can I do today to take myself one step closer to this goal?’ In other words taking full personal responsibility to turning your abstract goal into a tangible reality, one action at a time.

Going beyond boredom and novelty
Going beyond boredom and novelty means having the capacity to be process oriented, consistent, and having the mental stamina to keep on going beyond the point where you can rely on the excitement of a new inspiration and enthusiasm.

Being ok with alone
Finally, if you are doing what you want, in the way that you want to do it, this may (not always, but sometimes) mean that you have to spend periods of time alone, in your own company and not being encouraged or affirmed by others. If you are leading from the front, then it can feel like an isolated position to be in. Being comfortable with that, and even enjoying it enables you to take the direction needed, without fear of loneliness.

Don’t lie to yourself, or make promises to yourself that you don’t keep
This final point is important, because often we can be more conscientious about our promises to others than we are in our conversation with ourself. If you are at all interested in building self-leadership and self-esteem, then really work on keeping your commitments to yourself.

Channeling your inner mountain-goat
One image I like for self-leadership (relating to the start sign of Capricorn) is that of a mountain goat. See yourself and your path of self-leadership as a mountain goat, patiently and agile-ly traveling up a steep mountainside. You have the strength, the patience and the ingenuity to lead yourself all the way to the top. No matter what the obstacles or difficulties you persist, all the way to the peak of your mountain!

Related articles: Mindfully dancing between doing and being
Effortless effort – The cycle of mindful growth

© Toby Ouvry 2019, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation AsiaOngoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am :5th & 12th January – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Saturdays January 5th & 19th, 4-5.30pm – Mindfulness group coaching sessions with Toby

Tues & Weds January 1st, 2nd, 7.30-8.30pm – New year balancing and renewing meditation

Tues & weds January 8th & 9th – Monthly astrological meditation – Capricorn; developing your inner self-leadership 

Saturday 19th January 2.15-3.45pm – Get your meditation practice started now- The shortest and most time effective meditation workshop ever

Saturday 26th January, 1-4pm – Growing your mindful freedom meditation workshop

FEBRUARY
Satruday 9th February, 9.30-12.30 – Going from overwhelmed to overwell meditation workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Art meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope

Mindful of your moods, emotions and dispositions

Dear  Integral Meditators,

In the the foreground or background of each moment you experience, there is a mood, emotion and ‘atmosphere’. The article below explores how to start working with these mindfully in your life.

In the spirit of moods and atmospheres,

Toby

 

Engaged Mindfulness book is on a special 10% offer for the next until end Tuesday 11th Dec)

Christmas is coming up, if you are looking for a meaningful, inexpensive present to pass out to friends, why not order a few copies of ‘Engaged Mindfulness’? It’s a short, 45 page primer on integral mindfulness, broken up into short 1-2page sections. Click here to order your copies…

Mindful of your moods, emotions and dispositions

This article focuses on how you can start to work with emotions, moods and dispositions, for the purposes of enjoyment, as well as becoming more effective in your life. Let’s start with a few definitions:
Emotions are temporary energetic reactions to particular events; what someone said to you, something that you hoped for not happening, something unpredictable occurring, an experience of good fortune etc. Although they are temporary, if you start watching them you’ll start to notice that have a particular habitual range emotions that you use in your life. This is rather like an artist who has a love or habit of working with a particular colour range.
Moods are emotions that you tend to spend quite a lot of time in. They become the background ‘atmospheres’ within which you live much of your life. Anxiety or curiousity, lightness or heaviness, resentment or appreciation, optimism or pessimism are all examples. They are like the typical ‘weather’ that you might expect to experience in a country at a particular time of year and season.
Dispositions are what you might think of as the primary moods that we tend to live in. We spend such a lot of time in them that they become pretty much our personality; they form some of the basic ways in which we experience our self as a personality.

Something to notice about emotions, moods and dispositions is that you are pretty much always in one – it’s useful to be aware of and take it into account because they open or close avenues of possibility and action for us in each moment. For example, an attitude of optimism opens up emotions of appreciation, pleasure and lightness, but may make us blind to certain problems that we need to look at realistically. Similarly, an attitude of pessimism closes certain desirable emotional states, but also invites some interesting insights into areas of risk in our life that we might do well to look at.
Simply asking ‘What are the moods and emotions present for me in this situation?’ will make us aware of what is there and how it is affecting us.

Centring in difficult moods and emotions
If you are experiencing a difficult mood or emotion, then, rather than try and shift out of it or get rid of it immediately, it can often be most useful to simply recognize it, and centre yourself, so that it isn’t keeping you off balance. Once you are aware and have centred yourself, you can them make a choice whether you want to try and shift out of the mood/emotion or stay with it and see what it has to offer you in that moment.

Identifying your habitual range of mood and emotion.
If you watch your moods, emotions and dispositions you’ll start to have a sense of the ‘mood options’ that you have available to you. You can start to cultivate particular emotions and moods in particular situations where they will serve you particularly well.
You’ll also notice that you have particularly inspiring moods and emotions within your range that open up avenues of action and possibility that will help you go experience life better in the moment and get you where you want to go. So consciously cultivating these moods is a good idea! For example, I have a little post-it message on the picture above my lap-top right now that says, ‘Everything is possible!’ This reminds me to open to and live in a mood that is particularly meaningful and helpful to me right now.
So, a good mindful question to go with this last section might be ‘What mood or emotion can I cultivate that would serve me best in this situation?’

© Toby Ouvry 2018, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation AsiaOngoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am : 1st,15th, 22nd, 29th December – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Tues & Weds, 4th, 5th December – Monthly Astrological meditation – on ‘Sagittarius – I perceive/understand’

Saturdays December 15th & 22nd – Mindfulness group coaching sessions with Toby

Saturday 15th December, 1-4pm – Integral meditation practice: Optimize your inner calm, strength and energy

Tues & Weds Dec 18/19th, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter Solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

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Access your brain’s ‘zero space’

Dear  Integral Meditators,

Article below four practical ways of clearing and calming your perception using awareness of the body and brain. They’re very simple to use, and once you know what they are, you can use them to good effect anytime!

In the spirit of clear perception,

Toby

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Christmas is coming up, if you are looking for a meaningful, inexpensive present to pass out to friends, why not order a few copies of ‘Engaged Mindfulness’? It’s a short, 45 page primer on integral mindfulness, broken up into short 1-2page sections. Click here to order your copies…

 

Four aspects of clear perception (The zero space in your brain)

What I want to outline here are four ways essentially to calm and center. The first three relate to three aspects of our awareness, namely:

  • Our instinctive, or primal intelligence which resides in the brain stem, the oldest ‘reptilian’ part of our brain. This part of our brain is also wired via our nervous system to our belly area, or our ‘guts’. When we say, “I have a gut feeling about this”, this is partly the area of perception we are referring to.
  • Our emotional and ‘mammalian’ intelligence which resides in the mid-section or limbic area of our brain. This in terms of our body relates to our heart or chest space, where we experience many of our human and social emotions.
  • Our cognitive or thinking intelligence, which is primarily located in the pre-frontal cortex area of the brain. In terms of our body, this is our ‘head’ intelligence.

At any given moment we are receiving impulses and information from these three aspects of our body and our brain. So, in terms of our perception of any given situation, it can be good to ask these questions:

  • What are my guts and reptilian brain telling me here?
  • What are my emotions and limbic brain experiencing here?
  • What is my thinking self and pre-frontal cortex experiencing here?

If you do this you’ll start to be able to tease apart these three areas of your perception and make more conscious choices about your experience in the moment.

Relaxing your instincts, emotions and mind
You can also use this three-fold distinction to relax more systematically:

  • To relax your instinctive self: Focus on relaxing the brain stem just inside the base of the skull and at the top of the spine. Then put one hand on your belly and breathe in and out of it, calming the energy there
  • To relax your emotional self: Focus on the mid-brain area and relax that, then put one hand on your heart/sternum area and breathe in an out of your chest, calming the emotions you sense there.
  • To relax your thinking self: Focus on the front of the brain, and around the temples and forehead. Relax the pre-fontal cortex, then the head area in general.

The zero space inside you head
There is a tiny physical cavity, or space inside your brain. It is in the middle of the brain, just maybe a centimetre or two toward the back from the literal centre. It is the space at the intersection or meeting point between the left and right hemispheres of your brain, and the brain stem which comes up from underneath. Back in the day, Taoist meditators discovered that, if you placed your attention in this physical spot in your head, then your mind calms very quickly, as there is absolutely nothing going on in that space. It’s like a ‘zero space’ of no thought. The Taoist call this space ‘the cavity of original spirit’. So, if you rest your attention there, you can enter a space of no-thought very quickly!
I use these four areas in combination. I first relax my instincts, emotions and thoughts, then I go into the ‘Cavity of original spirit’ for a while. It’s another meditation technique that can also be very useful when you can’t fall asleep at night. A space of ‘no-thought’ is pretty damn relaxing even if you aren’t literally asleep!

© Toby Ouvry 2018, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation AsiaOngoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Monday 6.15-7.15 & Wednesday 12.15-1.15 – Integral Meditation classes at Space2B on Stanley Street

Saturday mornings 9-10.15am : 1st,15th, 22nd, 29th December – Qi Gong workout and meditation class

Tues & Weds, 4th, 5th December – Monthly Astrological meditation – on ‘Sagittarius – I perceive/understand’

Saturdays December 15th & 22nd – Mindfulness group coaching sessions with Toby

Saturday 8th December, 9.30am-12.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop

Saturday 15th December, 1-4pm – Integral meditation practice: Optimize your inner calm, strength and energy

Tues & Weds Dec 18/19th, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter Solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Psychic self-defence & spiritual sources of compassion

Dear  Integral Meditators,

What is the difference between open and closed compassion? And how can you protect yourself from the attacks and imbalances of others around you without withdrawing your compassion from them? The article below explores how…

In the spirit of compassion,

Toby

Psychic self-defence & spiritual sources of compassion 

To be competent at ‘psychic self-defence’ means to be able to protect yourself from negative or unbalanced energies that may try and invade your subtle energy field. This energy can come from other people, from an environment, from yourself, or from a source within the inner world. An attack may be deliberate, or it may be unconscious, or co-incidental (just a case of ‘wrong place at the wrong time). In my past articles I’ve written about both ‘hard’ and ‘soft’ forms of psychic self-defence. Here I’m going to be writing about how to protect yourself from other people’s negative energy, without withdrawing your compassion for them.

Saying yes and no: A foundational aspect of psychic self-defence is psychological boundaries. On a simple level, this means if you are happy to do something with someone, you say ‘yes’, but if you aren’t, then you know how to say ‘no’. This means not saying yes to people all the time just because you want to please them, keep them happy, or are afraid of their disapproval. If something or some behaviour is not acceptable to you need to know how to firmly and politely say no. It sounds simple, but in practice a lot of people don’t do it well.

Open and closed compassion: So then if you have someone who you may know and whose pain you may have compassion for, you need to be conscious whether you are going to keep your energy field ‘open’ to them, which means taking on some of their energy (and possibly pain), or whether you are going to ‘close’ your energy field to them. Closing means to take a step back from them, and deliberately not allow their energy to affect you too much, even though you may have compassion for them.
Closing your energy field to someone: One traditional visual way to close your energy field is to imagine yourself surrounded by a golden bubble of light. It’s around your body in a circle or egg shape, but you can shrink it to fit your body like a glove when necessary. This bubble is semi-porous, which is to say it lets in the energy that you want to let in, but blocks the energy you don’t want. So if there is someone whose energy you want to block, the bubble doesn’t let any of their energy in. I sometimes also imagine star-shapes spinning on the surface of my golden bubble; when there is someone whose energy I want to block, one of the stars positions itself (whilst spinning) on the point of my bubble directly between myself and that person making that point totally impenetrable.

Opening a channel for spiritual compassion: So then, what if you have blocked your connection to a person, but still want to extend compassion to them? One way to do this is to send it via a spiritual source. So, any spiritual master, or source of spiritual energy that you feel connected to, you simply visualize that source and see compassionate energy flowing to the person from the source. For example, you can visualize a deity above that person’s head and the light of compassion flowing down through their crown. Or you can visualize compassionate healing light from the earth flowing up through their feet into their body. This is also a visualization you can do for yourself if you feel access your own self-compassion is blocked. Visualize yourself receiving it from a spiritual source and let yourself gradually re-open to receiving compassion and healing.

Related article: Discovering your mindful compassion – Seven ways

© Toby Ouvry 2018, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology