Category: Mindfulness

Categories
Awareness and insight Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindfulness Presence and being present

Balanced self-awareness, mindful self-consciousness

“Balanced self-awareness is the foundation of most other healthy psychological capacities, so it is well worth being consistent and persistent around”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at self-awareness as an object of mindfulness; why it is important to have the right type of self-awareness, and how to begin cultivating it consistently.

In the spirit of self-awareness,  

Toby
 

Balanced self-awareness, mindful self-consciousness
 
Often mindfulness is associated with increased self-awareness. Implicit in this might be the assumption that all self-awareness is good self-awareness. This is something worth noting, as it is not necessarily the case.
 
Imbalanced or neurotic self-awareness
 
Here are a few examples of ways in which self-awareness can be unhelpful and/or work against us:

  • We could be overly self- aware, in a way that is debilitating or anxiety stimulating. For example, in social situations we could be excessively concerned about what other people may be thinking of us or how we look
  • We could be self-aware with non-acceptance and neurotic intention. By this I mean we can be self-aware, but unhappy with who we are, wishing we were someone else, possessing a different physical appearance or character. This self-awareness produces conflict and discomfort
  • We can be self-aware in a very judgmental or aggressive way, obsessing about mistakes made, or ways in which we are ‘not good enough’ or a ‘fake’
  • We could be self-aware, but projecting the past and future onto the present moment, so that who and what we see is not a realistic image of the person that is actually there

In all the above cases, an element of self-awareness is present, but it is not helping us, and not enjoyable. If our habitual self-awareness is like this, then then quite naturally we are then going to try and avoid self-awareness when we can, because it is such a difficult experience. We could spend our time flip-flopping between neurotic self-awareness and desperate attempts to distract ourselves and become less self-aware!

Balanced mindful self-awareness

Here are some characteristics of what balanced self-awareness looks like:

  • To be self-aware as an observer. By this I mean that part of good self-awareness is that we are merely aware, with a healthy degree of curious objectivity.
  • To be self-aware with acceptance and kind intention. By this I mean there is a deliberate effort to be at peace with the person we are in the moment, supportive of them and not at war with them. To be supportive of ourselves means to extend a basic kind and caring intention to ourselves, making this an integral part of our basic self-consciousness
  • With compassionate judgment. Here I mean that the inner commentary that goes with our self-awareness can express discernments and judgments, but their nature is supportive and caring, consistent with the kindness and caring intention.  
  • Finally, our self-awareness should be on purpose, deliberate and in the present moment. On purpose means we are conscious of the quality of our self-awareness, making it in-line with the characteristics mentioned above. In the present means being with the self or person that we are in the here and now, rather than lost in past selves or ideas of our future selves unconsciously.

 
There are four characteristics of balanced self-awareness that I mention above. In your own practice you can take one or two of these at a time, becoming familiar with the feel of them, and making them gradually habitual and intuitive. If we can make our self-awareness balanced, then we will start to enjoy it and trust it. When this happens, it becomes natural to want to be more self-aware, because good things come of it. Balanced self-awareness is really the foundation of almost all other healthy psychological capacities, so it is well worth being consistent and persistent around!
 
Related article: What is self-awareness?
© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Inner vision Integral Meditation Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Breathing Mindfulness Presence and being present Zen Meditation

Making your physical awareness balanced & whole

“When our physical awareness is balanced and whole, intuitively our sense of who we are starts to take on a more complete feeling”

Dear Integral Meditators,

In the article below I look at the link between physical, sensory awareness and our sense of overall wholeness in life. If you enjoy the article, we will be exploring it in the Tuesday & Wednesday meditation session, so do feel free to join us!

In the spirit of wholeness & balance, 

Toby

 


Sessions this week:

Ongoing, Tuesday/Wednesday evening’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Meditating with the power of intention – An eleven module course

Saturday 26th October, 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditation & Mindfulness for Creating a Mind of Ease, Relaxed Concentration and Positive Intention

Saturday October 26th, 5-6pm Singapore time – Engaged mindfulness & meditation online class : What is self-awareness?


Making your physical awareness balanced & whole
 
This article explores mindfulness for creating a more well-rounded and balanced physical awareness. On of the side effects of this is a more balanced overall awareness, including psychological and spiritual.
 
The present imbalance
For most people, their awareness and sense of space focuses on what is in front of them. This is natural because your eyes are in the front of your head and look forward. When you focus on something you turn forwards it and then look at what is in front of you. So, most of the time our attention extends like a narrow cone out in front, excluding the our potential range of awareness to this narrow zone.
 
The full range
Our full range of physical awareness of course extends 360° around us:

  • To our left and right
  • In front and behind
  • Above and below

In terms of balancing our awareness, a very simple mindful ‘form’ consists of sensing into our full range of directional awareness, and experiencing ourself in the centre of that. Sitting standing or walking you can:

  • Sense to your left and right, extending your awareness each way. Initially you can do it one after the other, then put them together, sensing left and right simultaneously. You can look left and right at first if you like, but then practice using your body itself; sense left with the left side of your body, the skin of your arms, legs and sides. Then to the right with the right side of the body
  • Similarly, do this with the front and back. With the front of your body, practice sensing into what lies in front of you not just using your eyes, but with your chest, belly, and hips. Feel into what is in front of you. Then working with your back, and the back of your head, neck and legs, sensing into what is behind you
  • You can do the same thing with your Above and below; sensing into what is beneath you with the soles of your feet, and the crown of your head

 
Breathing in and out of centre
 
Once you get used to sensing the directions individually and in pairs, you can put them together, sensing the totality of your field of physical awareness. If you then imagine a point of energy in the centre of your chest that is your bodies inner centre, you can practice breathing into your centre and as you inhale, and breathing awareness out into the six directions as you exhale. If I am doing it outside I like to breathe out to the horizon as I exhale, gathering it in again as I inhale.
 
 
Non-conceptiality, peace and psychological wholeness
 
One of the side effects of practicing this directional, physical awareness is that we become a lot more sensory, physical and non-conceptual. We stop excessive thinking and arrive naturally wherever we happen to be, landing stably in a balanced manner in the place we are in.
Another benefit is, because our physical awareness is balanced and whole, our overall sense of our self starts to feel more rounded and whole. Intuitively our sense of who we are starts to take on a more complete feeling. When we start to think from this feeling of wholeness and balance, we start to notice our thinking changes for the better, mimicking its structure from the feeling of wholeness in our habitual physical awareness.
 
You can use directional awareness as a way of moving into deeper meditation in formal practice. Or we can simply drop into it regularly in daily life to ground, centre and connect to wholeness. Our sense of how we operate in space is fundamental, so affecting it for the better in this way can have a profound effect upon us if we do it regularly!
 
Related articles:
Finding your spiritual, physical home
Aspects of environmental meditation


© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease creative imagery Enlightened Flow Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindfulness Presence and being present

Witnessing the witness article

“Looking outward, the sun of our awareness illuminates our world, looking in on itself, it notices the watcher of the world”

Dear Integral Meditators,

October has a full routine of classes, retreats & workshopsto enjoy, both live & online, starting with the  Mindful Self-Confidence workshop this Saturday 5th, & the Cultivating your Nirvana, or inner freedom mini retreat on the morning of the 12th.
You can find full details of all sessions beneath this weeks article on ‘Witnessing the witness’.

In the spirit of meditation in action,  

Toby

Witnessing the witness – The sun turning in on itself
 
The witness self – your inner sun

One way to center yourself in the present is to focus on a single object in the present moment, such as your body, your breathing, a thought, an image and so on. A second major way to center yourself is to center your attention around the observer within you, and its process of observation. This practice is called witnessing. All you need to do is center in your position as the witnessing observer within your field of awareness.
When you witness, it is important to get the balance right between transcending and including. What I mean by this is the balance of two qualities:

  • Transcending means you observe in a detached manner, treating your observed content as an object
  • Including meaning that you observe your objects inclusively, touching them with care and warmth

In a previous article I compare witnessing to the Sun;

  • The sun shines its life-giving warmth upon us generously
  • At the same time it’s light and warmth are completely impersonal and detached

So, when you witness, good technique transcends and includes the observed object, like the sun shines it’s light on us.

Things to witness

One of the great things about witnessing is exactly the way it turns subjects of consciousness into objects of consciousness. It is much easier to work with and master an object of consciousness compared to something that you are deeply identified with. So, what I like to do regularly is to take as my object of witnessing awareness the things that are bothering or triggering me that day. For example:

  • If I’m feeling anxious about something such as a meeting
  • If I’m feeling the need to be right with someone, and the past conversation keeps replaying
  • If I’m feeling grumpy or distressed about physical pain
  • If I’m feeling sad

…or attached to something/someone, and sometimes if I am feeling good about something, and I can tell I’m really identified with that feeling.

What you do is take your experience as the object of sun-like witnessing, and make it into an object of consciousness rather than a subject of consciousness. At a certain point you will feel the subjective power of that experience fading. It is still there, maybe even still feeling strong, but it is an object, rather than a subject of consciousness. This changes the experience, making it much easier to adapt to and work with.

The sun turning in on itself

Another core practice that you can build once you get used to witnessing, is witnessing the witness. If you were to imagine the light of the sun, which normally shines outwards, turns and shines inwards, this is the essential movement of witnessing the witness. This is a different form of witnessing because:

  • Witnessing consciousness itself has no form, it is just formless, timeless awareness. So there is nothing to ‘see’
  • Secondly, the witness is the absolute subject of consciousness. As such it cannot know itself in the same way as looking at an object from the outside. When you witness the witness, you simply notice the feeling of being the witness, and take that sense of formless timeless ‘being’ as your object of meditation

If you imagine the sun as your basic image for witnessing, and then imagine the sun turning it’s light and shining in on itself, this is a useful analogy and image for meditation to use to gradually access direct experience of the ‘witnessing the witness’ practice.

Structuring your witnessing practice

If I do a 20-minute witnessing meditation for example, quite often I will split the time;

  • 5minutes witnessing an object
  • 5minutes witnessing the witness
  • x2

Putting them together creates a powerful one-two punch for the practice!

Related article: Witnessing like the sun

Witnessing – Being that which is not

Bodies within bodies – Witnessing with your energy bodies

Bare attention – Your inner bird-watcher
 
© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming meditation sessions & workshops with Toby 

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing, Tuesday/Wednesday evening’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Meditating with the power of intention – An eleven module course

Saturday 5th October, 9.30am-12.30pm – Developing Your Self-Confidence Through Mindfulness Workshop

Saturday 12th October, 9-11.30am – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat – Cultivating your Nirvana, or inner freedom

Saturday 26th October, 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditation & Mindfulness for Creating a Mind of Ease, Relaxed Concentration and Positive Intention

Saturday October 26th, 5-6pm Singapore time – Engaged mindfulness & meditation online class : What is self-awareness?

Tuesday 29th & Wednesday 30th Oct, 7.30-8.30 – Deepavali Meditation – Connecting to your inner light

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Concentration Inner vision Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Staying with intention

“What is a useful intention that I can center around and stay with in this situation?”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

Good to see all of you who came to the online Engaged Mindfulness class last Saturday! The next one will be 21st September, on ‘the dance of relaxation & alertness’, see you there!

One week to go before the start of the Autumn meditation weekly series Meditating with the power of intention – An eleven module course, this week’s article looks at how to be playful, flexible & creative with your intention through mindfulness…

In the spirit of intention, 

Toby

Staying with intention
 
When we are unable to do what we want in a situation, what do we do? This article explores a way of working with our intention where the intention itself becomes a type of action, enabling us to stay resilient, generous and strong in situations where we might feel discouraged, distracted or inclined to give up and walk away. I explore this in the form of examples. The examples themselves are invitations for you to start exploring how ‘staying with intention’ can be mindfully explored in your own life.
 
Hearing about the grief of another – the other day I had a conversation with a friend who had a family member fallen sick, with no easy cure in sight. Other than offer my sympathy, there really wasn’t a lot that I could ‘do’ about what had happened. In this type of situation, the feeling of helplessness can make us want to turn our attention (consciously or unconsciously) away. Noticing this within myself, I made the choice simply to stay with a caring and compassionate intention, sending that energy toward the people involved when they came into my mind over the next day or so. Simply holding this benevolent intention was the action, the practise. Doing it I felt empowered and more positive.
 
Making a business pitch – my work involves quite often making pitches to organizations, with no certainty around the result. One way that I have found to keep myself even-minded is simply to set my intention; to turn up in order to benefit them, and also to develop my own skill around pitching. Turning up with these intentions, and centering around them has my ‘inner action’ that sets the stage for the meeting, encouraging a good result whether I ‘get the gig’ or not.
 
Finding meaning in your life – ‘What is the meaning in my life’ can be an intimidating question, and the answers so ambiguous that we drop the question thinking it’s too big and what’s the point? The intention to look for meaning in life in my next interaction, in however small a way is something that I stay with, whether the answer is clear today or not. Having the intention is meaningful in itself, and encourages us to notice the opportunity for meaning when it presents itself!
 
Being productive in the day – Sometimes productivity and creativity feels easy, sometimes it feels difficult. If I am having a difficult day getting what I want to get done done, rather than fighting too hard with the conditions, I simply stay with the intention to be productive, and then in a state of curiosity work to achieve what is possible in the circumstances. That is then enough.
 
Developing a skill – Like productivity, sometimes the skills that I want to grow feels easy, but often quite difficult and imperfect. Simply setting the intention to practice and improve (my meditation, my squash game etc…) and then staying with the process enables me to be consistent in my practice, whether I seem to be making progress or not.
 
Not being too intentional – Being over-structured around intentions, and rigid with them can sometimes be very unhelpful. When I notice this happening with myself, I adjust my intention, making it an ‘intention to be unintentional’, or to be spontaneous, relaxed and flowing.
 
I hope these few examples enable you to get a flavour of the practice of mindfully staying with your intention. In any given situation the essential question is ‘What is a useful intention that I can center around and stay with here?’

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Concentration Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation

The dance of conscious & unconscious intention

“Our intentions are like tuning forks, they tend to attract particular types of things and experiences into our life, and also determine the way in which we experience them”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article follows on from last week’s article on on intention, further drawing out the power of intention, and some practices to start being mindful around it!
If you enjoy the article, do check out the upcoming course on  Meditating with the power of intention – An eleven module course. It can be participated in live or online, and is starting at the beginning of September. 

In the spirit of intention, 

Toby
 


The dance of conscious & unconscious intention
 
You always have an intention
Intention occupies the ‘why’ space within our consciousness; the reason we are motivated to do things. There is a ‘why’ reason for all our actions or non-actions. The art noticing or being mindful around intention is three-fold:

  1. Noticing intentions that you have that are harmful or destructive, working against your wellbeing and those of others. Once detected we can work on understanding where they come from and what we can do to reduce and re-direct them
  2. Noticing the positive intentions that we have that are helpful, empowering and creative, then continuing to nurture and strengthen them
  3. Opening to new benevolent or creative intentions that we may not have often at the moment, but that we can see the value in developing them and making them a regular part of our life

Intentions are like tuning forks, they tend to attract particular types of things and experiences into our life, and also determine the way in which we experience them. Dancing with our intentions deliberately can radically shift our life-experience quite quickly, sometimes immediately.
 
You don’t always know that you have an intention
Although we almost always have an intention, we aren’t always aware of the intentions that we have.

  • You might have naturally caring intentions regularly toward your family members, but you might not notice it because it’s just a (positive) habit. If you notice this positive intention that arises regularly within you, you can generate it more often consciously, and you can widen the group or type of people that you generate it towards. Making this intention conscious can improve your relationships significantly
  • You might not be aware of the judgements that you have about yourself, and the harmful intentions that come from them. By making these intentions toward yourself conscious, you can see them more clearly, gently starting to ‘de-couple’ yourself from them, reducing, even eliminating the harmful effects that they are having upon you
  • You may not have noticed that your short, medium and long term goals and intentions are contradicting each other in significant ways. By consciously aligning your short, medium and long term intentions and making them a team, you can significantly increase the power of each

 
Practice points – Creating intentions around intention
 
The intention to live intentionally – the first practice point here is to build the power of your intention to live intentionally, on purpose and consciously. This is a mindfulness power-practice 101, building the power of your intentionality.
 
The dance of conscious & unconscious intention – Practice point two is to notice which of the intentions that you generate are deliberate or conscious, and which are instinctual, unconscious and spontaneous. The idea here is to ‘dance’ with both, creating a harmony between them in your life through your intention to align your conscious & unconscious intentions.
 
Related reading: Intention determines trajectory – Aspects of integrated mindful intention
Intention, dedication, meditation
Fourteen levels of mindful intention

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Watch Toby’s video on mindful intention:

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Live & Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *Executive & Meditation coaching  

Categories
Awareness and insight Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology mind body connection mindful dreaming Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present spiritual intelligence

Three levels of mindful intuition

“Teaming up our intuition & rationality helps us trust our natural inner guidance and signals”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article offers some ways of making distinctions around different type of intuition, & beginning to work with them in daily life. If you enjoy it, feel free to join us for the Tuesday or Wednesday meditation class, where it will be a focus point of the meditation. 

In the spirit of intuition,

Toby
 


Three levels of mindful intuition
 
What is intuition?
 
For this piece, I’m going to define intuition as a way of experiencing and processing our life in a way that is almost instantaneous, often pre, or trans-rational, meaning preceding logical or systematic thought. Here are a couple of mainstream definitions from the internet that are complementary to mine:

  • Oxford languages: Intuition – using or based on what one feels to be true even without conscious reasoning; instinctive; “his intuitive understanding of the readers’ real needs”
  • Cambridge dictionary: Intuition – able to know or understand something because of feelings rather than facts or proof

 
Why is it useful to develop?
 
Reliable intuition is a wonderful capacity to develop, as it enables us to navigate life confidently, experientially, and more successfully. It is a capacity that is complementary to our reasoning, and analytical capacity, rather than in competition with it. If we can make our intuition and reasoning a team, then they can help us to verify choices, navigate confusion and so forth. Teaming up our rationality and intuition helps us trust our natural inner guidance and signals.
 
Three levels of intuition
 
Most often I think about intuition as having three levels; instinctual, mental and spiritual:

Instinctual intuition comes from our biological intelligence. It is the capacity that we share with animals. It is pre-rational, often sensual and sensory. If you quieten the mind and attune to your body-intelligence, then you’ll start to notice this level of your intuition providing you signals and feedback thru-out the day. When you are out in nature, you may notice this level of intuition really coming to the foreground of your awareness, as your animal nature attunes to its environment.

Mental or intellectual intuition is the capacity of our mind to compute answers based on the sum total of our knowledge and experience, before our conscious mind can do it in a linear way. For example, if we are an experienced chess or tennis player, our intuitive sense of the next move or shot will often come intuitively and instantaneously. This ‘feeling’ comes from the capacity of our intellect to make trans-rational calculations based on the totality of our knowledge and experience in this domain.

Spiritual intuition is that dimension of our intelligence that lies beyond both our instinct and our intellect. The intuition that comes from this level is distinct, sometimes characterised as a ‘still small voice within’. In a previous article I describe this intuitive voice as follows:
“What you are looking for is a quieter voice within you coming from a deeper level of your consciousness. Its nature is to be kind, and quiet, strong and wise. It’s easily drowned out by the louder voices of the everyday mind, which is why you need to listen for it closely, in a relaxed frame of mind”
Sometimes referred to as the Higher Self, Soul Self or Spiritual Self, spiritual intuition often feels as if it’s perspective comes literally from an ariel point of view, a ‘big picture’ perspective.
 
If you sit quietly, and recall a particular situation in your life, you can try gently to identify these three voices, attuning to the different information and perspectives they are giving you. Sometimes they will be in broad agreement, sometimes they will be saying different, even contradictory things to each other. It is your job as the conscious self to:

  • Identify these three voices of your intuitive guidance
  • Collate and assess them together, making a decision that you feel is best for you and the situation at hand, all things considered

Identifying and listening to these three levels of your intuition is a part of what I call learning to trust your inner guidance, or ‘inner guru’. Everyone has all three of these, it’s just a matter of putting in a little patient practice to start building your competency!
 
Related articles: Trusting your inner guru
Four ways of working with your inner voice

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com
 


Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live & Online Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight Inner vision Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present Primal Spirituality

Mindfulness – Liberation through pre-psychology

“Mindful awareness builds a robust pre-psychological base, meaning the feeling or sensibility you have about yourself before you think or conceive who you are. If we get this base right, many good things follow”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article is on the effectiveness of minddful awareness as a pre-psychological base for navigating and thriving in our lives. If you enjoy it, feel free to join us for the Tuesday or Wednesday meditation class, where it will be a focus point of the meditation. 

In the spirit of awareness,

Toby


Mindfulness – Liberation through pre-psychology
 
In my previous article on the ‘holy trinity of mindfulness’ I outline the role of awareness, intention and attention in mindfulness practice. I describe them as pre-skills that, if you cultivate them will help you develop any other skill relatively quickly and easily.
In this article I want to focus on awareness and what I call its pre-psychological benefits. Again, in the previous article I define mindful awareness as:
“The choice to be consciously aware as we go through life, rather than unconscious, and to direct our conscious awareness skilfully.”
When you make the choice simply to be aware of consciousness in the present moment, there are several fundamental benefits. I want to outline some of these below, in the hope that you will feel inspired to start practicing. Specifically, I want to point out how mindful awareness builds a robust pre-psychological base for ourselves. By pre-psychological I mean the feeling or sensibility you have about yourself before you start to think or conceive who you are. If we get this base right, many good things follow!
 
Full, not empty – When we sit in awareness of the present moment, we start to feel a sense of fullness in that moment. We can then turn up to life with this feeling of fullness, which helps counterbalance the feeling of emptiness that many people feel when they think about themselves and their life.

Empty, not full – Sitting with awareness in the present moment enables us to empty of all the complex thinking and inner noise that our mind is overburdened or overfilled with. We access a sense of ‘empty’ pleasurable inner spaciousness.

Enough, not not -enough – The ‘I am not enough’ script is one of the most common ones that individuals suffer from psychologically. Training to be aware in the present gives us access to a feeling of enough-ness, a sensibility of sufficiency not insufficiency. We can learn to identify with this primary feeling, and meet life from this feeling of ‘enough’, which then becomes a sense of ‘I am enough’.

Strong, not weak – becoming more consciously aware and present leads to a sense of being more gathered and undistracted. Awareness itself is always in the present moment, so focusing upon it leads to less of our energy being dissipated by distraction and thoughts about the past or future. The result of this is a feeling or sensation of being strong in the moment, not weak, and of being centered, not off balance.

Free, not limited – In our mental and physical environment we experience all sorts of limitations,  some external, some internal. In the experience of awareness itself, there is absolute freedom. The choice to be aware is the one thing that no one can take away from us.
 
So, then the practice here is simply to practice being aware of awareness, in the present moment, noticing that when we do so a very basic primal set of pre-cognitive, non-verbal experiences become available to us. We have a sense of being:

  • Full, not empty
  • Empty, not full
  • Enough, not not -enough (sufficiency, not insufficiency)
  • Strong, not weak
  • Free, not limited

If we cultivate these, then we now have a range of pre-psychological, pre-thought building blocks that we can use as a secure base for our sense of self as we think and navigate the world from day to day. This sense of strength, fullness and freedom can accompany us more and more, as our capacity to be aware of awareness grows though our meditation and mindfulness practice.
 
Related reading: Awareness, attention, intention – The holy trinity of integral mindfulness
The freedom of awareness

​© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Books on mindfulness & meditation Concentration Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Breathing Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

The mindfulness holy trinity, & the engaged mindfulness book & training

“The skill of mindful awareness is actually a pre-skill, meaning that if you are good at it, you can use it to develop any other skill or capacity relatively easily.”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article is on the foundational components of effective mindfulness. If you enjoy it, feel free to join us for the Tuesday or Wednesday meditation class, where it will be a focus point. 

It will also be a focus point of the Engaged mindfulness online class this Saturday 13th July @ 5pm Singapore time. 

I have now expanded my first book Engaged Mindfulness to an ‘Engaged Mindfulness Project’. On this page, you can:

  • Download the PDF copy
  • Buy a hard copy of Engaged Mindfulness
  • Follow the links to the training pages with guided meditations based upon the book, & the online live meditation classes.

Do visit the page, & stay tuned for more details!

In the spirit of engaged mindfulness,

Toby


Awareness, attention, intention – The holy trinity of integral mindfulness
 
This article is designed to encourage people to understand some primary elements of integral mindfulness practice, and to get practicing!
 
Component one – Awareness
Mindfulness is essentially awareness training. Awareness is what is called in objectivist philosophy is called an ‘irreducible primary’. “An irreducible primary is a fact which cannot be analysed (i.e., broken into components) or derived from antecedent facts”. The quality of awareness or consciousness is something that we experience directly, and that cannot be broken down into smaller parts, hence primary. To be alive is to be aware, our only choice is whether we are consciously aware, or unconsciously aware. Thus the first task of mindfulness is to make the choice to be consciously aware, and to sustain that conscious awareness. Put another way:
“Mindfulness is the choice to be consciously aware as we go through life, rather than unconscious, and to direct our awareness consciously and skilfully.”
The skill of mindful awareness is actually a pre-skill, meaning that if you are good at mindful awareness, then you can use that awareness to develop any other skill or capacity relatively easily. Lacking the skill of awareness impairs the development of all other capabilities and skills in life. The capacity for mindful awareness sets you up for success in any given area of life. Lack of awareness impairs that potential.
 
Component two – Attention
The second foundation is conscious attention. The aim with mindfulness practice is to develop the capacity to direct your awareness where you want it to go, using your attention. “What am I trying to focus upon? And where do I need to focus my attention?” Are two fundamental mindfulness questions. Exactly where you need to focus your attention optimally is going to vary from task to task, but good quality mindful attention generally consists of a balanced combination of focus and relaxation. This combination is what I call the mindful-flow state, where we practice the skill of holding our attention on our chosen objects/activities with high quality, relaxed, focused attention.
 
Component three – Intention
Component three is intention. Like awareness and attention, we have an intention present within our mind almost all the time. This intention can be conscious or unconscious. The idea with integral mindfulness is that we become as mindful of our intentions as possible, and are generating them purposefully. ‘Why am I doing this?’ is a fundamental question, mindfully speaking!!
There are an infinite number of specific intentions, but a good place to start is cultivating three general levels of conscious intention with regard to self, other and the world. Underlying all of our other intentions, we hold the intention to:

  • Be of benefit to ourself
  • Be of benefit to our community
  • Be of benefit to the world

These three benevolent intentions can be the guiding light for most of our actions during the day.
 
So, putting these three together then gives us a kind of ‘holy trinity’ of integral mindfulness. All integral mindfulness trainings are designed to improve your awareness, attention and intention. These in turn are fundamental pre-skills that enable you to develop any other skills, and meet your life challenges more effectively.
 
As a practice to get started, simply take as your object of conscious awareness your breathing as you find it. Focus upon it with focused relaxed-attention (mindful flow), with the intention to:

  • Benefit yourself by calming and centering
  • By calming and centering, be of more positive influence to your community
  • By influencing your community in this way, being of benefit to the world

And there you go; you are practicing the holy trinity of integral mindfulness.
 
Related reading: Page 4 of Engaged Mindfulness that you can download as a free PDF of purchase as a hard copy

​© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming meditation sessions & workshops with Toby 


Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Starts Tues /Weds 25th & 26th June, 7.30-8.30pm – The Wisdom of Awakening Series:  Meditations for cultivating your inner guidance & guru

Saturday 13th July 5-6pm Singapore time – Engaged mindfulness & meditation online class : An introduction to the art of engaged mindfulness

Saturday 27th July, 5-6pm – Mantra yoga meditation class: This month – Healing meditation with the Medicine Buddha

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Energy Meditation Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

Mindful speech, inner chatter, inner power

“If it isn’t true, useful or funny, don’t say it! You can create your own guidelines for your mindful speech practice, but this one is a fun one to get started”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article is on the relationship between your inner power & mindful speech. If you enjoy it, feel free to join us for the Tuesday or Wednesday meditation class, where it will be the subject of the session. 

The workshop I am offering for July is the Psychic & Psychological Self-defense half-day WS, if you are interested in it, let me know and we can look for a time that works for all who want to attend. 

New events this month include the Engaged mindfulness class, and the mantra yoga meditation. both are online, click the links for full details.

In the spirit of mindful speech,

Toby


Mindful speech, inner chatter, inner power
 
Speech and your inner power
At a wedding a few years ago, I met a nun who had been one of my teachers back in the 90’s when I was a Buddhist monk. Asking here about her current practice, she said that she was really enjoying her mantra meditation practice, finding new insights and growth through it. She followed this up by saying that she thought that particularly these days, people dissipated the power of their speech by talking too much, and talking meaninglessly. I think this is worth reflecting upon. When you talk, it is essentially your mental, emotional, and physical energy combining to create the sound vibration. If you are talking too much, and without much meaning then essentially you are diluting your energy, your life-force and its power. Too much of this obviously isn’t great.
Of course, you can also speak meaningfully and powerfully in a way that grows your inner power, creates meaningful connection, and expresses authenticity. So, it’s not about simply speaking less, but speaking consciously and with meaning. Of course that meaning can also be playful, light, fun as well as serious, but not just mindless, impulsive babble!
 
Not just physically silent
The reason we often speak to much and without direction is because it reflects our mind. Our mind is busy talking all the time, full of inner chatter. If we simply don’t say things out loud, that doesn’t solve our energy dissipation problem, because we are still dissipating it through over-thinking! So, like our physical speech, a principle around our mind-chatter should also be something like ‘Think less, think better’.
 
Listening and watching
A good mindfulness practice for reducing your inner and outer chatter is simply to listen more. When you are with others, really try and listen to and make space for what they are saying, and what lies behind it. When you are with yourself, spend time mindfully observing your inner chatter, listening to it, rather than ‘being’ it. Let your energy gather into your inner-listener, rather than being dissipated by your inner chatter-box!
 
Noticing silence
If you practice mindful listening in this way, then amidst the noise, you’ll also start to notice the inner and outer silence. Amongst other things this silence is a place where you can gather your inner power and energy, centering it in the moment, rather than weakening it. Centering around silence means that when you do speak, you speak from your center, with power and purpose.
 
Other people’s chatter
All of the above are helped by editing the quality and amount of distraction you expose yourself to during your day. If you’re filling your mind with information from your phone, the internet, and social media, then it’s almost impossible to talk, listen or be silent mindfully. So, patches of non-doing in your day really help.
 
Below is a short anecdote from Anthony Del Mello’s ‘One minute wisdom’. If it isn’t true, useful or funny, don’t say it! You can create your own guidelines around mindful speech, but this one is a fun one to get started.
 
 
SPEECH
The disciple couldn’t wait to tell the Master the rumour he had heard in the
marketplace.
“Wait a minute,” said the Master, “What you plan to-tell us is it true?”
“I don’t think it is.”
“Is it useful?”
“No. it isn’t.”
“Is it funny?”
“No.”
“Then why should we be hearing it?”
 
Related reading: The way to silence

​© Toby Ouvry 2024, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Stress Transformation

Developmental acceptance – Allowing it to be messy & imperfect

“Skillful acceptance means noticing that you can center yourself in the middle of feelings of chaos, messiness, or dis-orientation, be present to them without panicking”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article looks at how to use mindfulness to work with your reality in a creative way, even and particularly when it seems messy!

If you enjoy the article, it will be the subject of our meditation at this weeks Tuesday & Wednesday Meditation class: 
 The Wisdom of Awakening Series:  Meditations for cultivating your inner guidance & guru.
All welcome to attend. This series is the course for this week and July.

In the spirit of acceptance,

Toby


Developmental acceptance – Allowing things to be messy & imperfect
 
Harmony from chaos – The way of the artist and creative
At a certain stage in my path, I spent time working with the idea of my art (at the time painting & sculpture) as a path of ‘harmony through conflict’. This basically meant that, to create beauty or harmony, you need to reach into chaos, disorder and sometimes ugliness. Then, by working skilfully with it you can draw out the beauty and order. So, the first part of any creative process then, is to learn to ‘be’ with the disorder/chaos, and start working with it from a centred point of view.
 
Chaos, inner and outer is messy
The tricky part about sitting with chaos is that the feeling of it is very ‘messy’ and confusing. It doesn’t feel comfortable to sit with. One reason why many people are not more creative is because they would prefer to sit with a reality that feels ‘tidy’, ordered and ‘safe’, even if that version of reality is someone else’s, even if it is dysfunctional, and even if the ‘order’ isn’t that appealing to us.
 
Accepting & working with chaos
So, to work with the messiness of reality, and start building our capacity to work with it creatively, we first must practice ‘sitting with the messiness’, which is to say sitting and getting comfortable with it, which actually means ‘getting comfortable with the uncomfortable’(!)
To get comfortable with messiness means accepting that it makes us anxious and dis-oriented. Skillful acceptance means noticing that you can center yourself in the middle of those feelings of chaos and messiness, be present to them without panicking. From the centred comfort that acceptance gives you, you can then look for ways to:

  • Notice what’s useful and good about the current messy-ness
  • Make small initial steps towards ordering the situation
  • Let your intuitive, rational and instinctual intelligence work together to see patterns in the chaos that help you start to see what the situation is offering you, and what it can become

 
Practicing developmental acceptance
On a practical level, I find this type of developmental acceptance enables me to work with what is happening in my day much more creatively. For example, today:

  • Sitting down at my desk to write this article, I found that the initial idea I had did not ‘fit’ like I imagined it would
  • This immediately put me in a place of dis-orientation, discomfort. Centering in that dis-orientation and getting comfortable with it, I became curious about how I could start to mold a new order from the messiness. Staying centered also needed a bit of the qualities of care and courage to stay with it; some gentle positive inner self-talk and re-assurance
  • Acceptance itself started to emerge as a theme, relaxing into it, and without trying too hard I let my intuition, rationality, and instinct start to put some structure to the basic theme, to sculpt and form a harmony from the mess
  • Forty minutes or so later I had written the article that you are now reading

 
You will notice from the above description that the first ‘move’ was noticing and accepting the initial ‘messiness’ of my reality. Accepting and centering like this then enabled me to harmonize my reality much more quickly and effectively than if I had been fighting with it.
You will notice also that I use the three C’s, curiosity, courage and care as a central part of the ‘developmental acceptance’ methodology.
 
Related reading: Cultivating your positive imperfectionist
Applying the Three C’s of Engaged Mindfulness

​© Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Follow Toby on: LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology