Category: Meditation and Psychology

Inter-connected or over-connected?

Post author By Toby
Post date July 21, 2025

“Reduce your device time & increase time spent enquiring into interdependence to go from feeling ‘over-connected & lonely’ to ‘Inter-connected & supported’”

Dear Integral Meditators,

I’ve recently facilitated some corporate workshops on ‘Digital Detox for Corporate Professionals: Reclaiming Focus and Productivity’. Creating this workshop & seeing people’s response to it has really opened my eye’s to how chronic the problems around overuse of devices are for us these days. In the article below I explore a simple flip to go from ‘over-connected, overwhelmed & lonely’ to ‘inter-connected & supported’. I hope you enjoy it!

I’m almost completed with the new meditation programs starting in August/September, you can see the full line up in the Whats On section beneath the article.

In the spirit of connected,

Toby

Inter-connected or over-connected?

What is my relationship to the world? Is a question is one worth asking yourself and seeing what sort of answers and perceptions come back to you. Your sense of your relationship to the world is fundamental, it forms the basis of most of your other perceptions, choices and experiences in life. For many people, the temptation is to experience ourself as someone coming into life from the outside, an outsider who dies not belong, and has to ‘fight’ to earn their place. Life is a battle to belong, rather than an enjoyment of your sense of already belonging.
A ’flip’ that I continue to enjoy is that of being born from life, rather than into it. To quote from a previous article on the subject:

“Our relationship to it is like that of an apple or a leaf to an apple tree. The apple emerges from the Life of the tree itself, not as something separate from the tree. The life of the tree gives rise to the apple. The apple arises from the tree itself, in the same way that the tree came from the life in the apple that it grew from.
You are like the apple being born from the apple tree. The life in you is a part of Life, you are an expression of Life, and Life is you.”

Being ‘born from life’ gives us a sense of effortless belonging, which is a great and un-lonely place to begin feeling into our connection of self-to-world.

Observing interdependence – Inter-connected & supported

We can strengthen our sense of feeling connected to the world by seeing, through contemplation, the way in which we are all interconnected. There are innumerable ways in which we can do this, to give three short examples:

I am writing this article on my parents dining table. To be able to use this table I rely on the carpenters that made it, the wood supplier, the trees it came from (and by implication the forest, not to mention my parents’ hospitality!
I can do the same thing with the computer that I am writing on; so many people involved in the supply chains that put the machine together, created the software and so forth, for me to then buy and use relatively effortlessly
I’ve just finished a coffee whilst writing. Again, to get the coffee to me relies upon the water from the tap, the coffee supply chain, the supermarket, the coffee plant, the land that the coffee plant grew on…

In any aspect of my life, if I start to look at the interdependence that doing what I am doing relies upon, my wisdom-eyes open, and I start to see how intimately and fully I am connected to everything else in the world. From this comes gratitude of course, but also a fundamental reduction in my loneliness. I am always inter-connected, and in this way never alone in a lonely way!

Over-connected & lonely

The above two states of being and feeling interconnected contrast sharply with the experience of many people who are what you might call ‘over-connected’ through their phones and being online all the time. Our devices enable us to be ‘connected’ and ‘in-touch’ all the time, however this experience paradoxically leads many to feel lonely, left-out (and afraid of being left out), isolated and yet compulsively over-connected.

A few practice points:

Reduce, and manage wisely the amount of time you stay connected to the world through your devices
Use the amount of time you save from reduced device time to develop the wisdom of interconnectedness and belonging outlined in sections one and two of this article. This wisdom does not need to be hard work, it’s really just about grounding yourself in the recognition of it. Your inter-connection is fed easily and gently by the recognition!

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 23rd August, 3-4.30pm – One Heart Open Day: Sound of Zen meditation with singing bowls

Tuesday 2nd & 3rd September, 7.30-8.30pm, & then weekly – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Saturday 20th September, 5.30-6.30pm – Autumn equinox balancing & renewing meditation

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Integral Meditation Asia

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Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, interconnected, interdependence, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness and technology, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

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Mindful of: Your masculine & feminine balance

Post author By Toby
Post date June 30, 2025

“If our masculine and feminine energies are harmonized, it is a huge plus for our inner resilience and sense of wellbeing.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at working with your masculine & feminine balance. If you enjoy the article, you’d be welcome to join us for the Wednesday class & Saturday class where we will be working with this topic!

If you are interested in Qi gong then do check out my workshop on Saturday 12th July, 9am-1pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels & for Self-Healing

In the spirit of your feminine/masculine balance,

Toby

Mindful of: Your masculine & feminine balance

In this article I want to explore a few mindful positions around your sense of the masculine and feminine energy within you, and how to bring them together into a harmonic, or mutually supportive partnership. If our masculine and feminine energies are imbalanced, or fighting each other, then this can be a source of conflict and dissonance. If they are working together, it is a huge plus for our inner resilience and sense of wellbeing.

Male & female, masculine & feminine

One thing to distinguish initially is the difference between your male and female energy on the physical and biological level, and our masculine and feminine. It is possible to be physically male and very feminine in terms of energy balance, or female biologically and quite masculine in energy balance. Obviously, we are either a man or a woman, and we will have a sense of how we experience that. We will also, as a man or woman have both masculine and feminine energy flowing through us. It is worth reflecting upon this, making the distinction, and then starting to get an intuitive sense of your own point of balance in terms of masculine and feminine polarities.

A balancing chart

Here is a list of masculine and feminine qualities, roughly arranged in complementary polarities:

It is not the only list, or a ‘complete’ list, but by looking over it you can start to give name and form to some of the natural polarities in terms of masculine and feminine, yin and yang energies. The idea with each of them is to build BOTH qualities within yourself, in a way that they are complementary, mutually supporting and ‘aware’ of each other. For example, if you take the first one, Loving and powerful, which is a fundamental one. Tune into the part of you that is loving in various ways. Then tune into the part that is powerful and expresses power. Working with them consciously, you can practise becoming both powerful and loving in your expression of your thoughts, words, relationships, and actions.

Merging your masculine & feminine self

Sitting quietly, imagine that on either side of you, you have a man and woman. Recognize these as being embodiments of your masculine and feminine selves. Feel into their energy on both sides of you to get a sense of both. When you are ready, as you breathe in, feel both figures moving inwards toward you, so that eventually their bodies merge with yours. Experience yourself as being one masculine and feminine being, balanced, harmonized and strong.
If you like you can do this exercise with one of the polarities in the above list. For example experiencing the ‘willful’ part of your masculine energy in the man, and the ‘nurturing’ aspect of your feminine energy in the woman. Then proceed with the merger as described.

Related articles: The middle way
Polarity meditation – Working consciously with tension

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, masculine feminine balance, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

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The Cloud of Unknowing, the ocean of…

Post author By Toby
Post date June 21, 2025

“Relaxing mindfully into your confusion often starts to dissipate the fogginess & return you to clarity without you ‘trying’ to”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at working with states of mind and emotion that we often consider to be in the way of our wellbeing, transforming them into the path of awakening. If you enjoy the article, you’d be welcome to join us for the Tuesday & Wednesday class where we will be working with this topic!

Also, quick shout out for the beginners meditation workshop on Saturday the 28th June…

In the spirit of clouds & oceans,

Toby

The Cloud of Unknowing, the ocean of sadness

On aspect of tantric meditation is the transformation of difficult emotions, passions or feelings into the path to awakening. It requires a degree of skill and a willingness to experiment a bit, but if you are willing to try, it can bring some decent results quite quickly. In this article I want to focus on ignorance/confusion and sadness.

From confusion to the Cloud of Unknowing

This method can work with a range of feelings such as confusion, overwhelm, dullness, anxiety. Take the feeling of confusion that you might have about what to do in a particular situation. Imagine also that you’re feeling a little tired, and that your brain has been a little overworked, so you have that ‘foggy’ sensation behind your forehead and above your eyes. Most often these feelings are ones that we fight with to overcome and get rid of. In this method however, you simply relax into the feelings and sensations of the confusion. You sense the brain fog behind your eyes and relax into it, letting your mind become foggy and cloudy. You allow your confusion to make you dull. By doing this you relax into a ‘Cloud of Unknowing’, a non-conceptual space of relaxed spaciousness. The dullness becomes your friend in aiding you to let go of your thoughts and into a state where the unknowing-ness leads you into a state of open empty space that is ‘Just this’.

The term ‘Cloud of Unknowing’ is a contemplative expression:
“The Cloud of Unknowing (Middle English: The Cloude of Unknowyng) is an anonymous work of Christian mysticism written in Middle English in the latter half of the 14th century. The text is a spiritual guide on contemplative prayer. The underlying message of this work suggests that the way to know God is to abandon consideration of God’s particular activities and attributes, and be courageous enough to surrender one’s mind and ego to the realm of “unknowing”, at which point one may begin to glimpse the nature of God”.

Our own confusion and dullness can help us to start to awaken to deeper levels of consciousness through the Cloud! You will also find that relaxing into the Cloud also often starts to dissipate the fogginess, and help you return to clarity (without ‘trying’ to).

The Ocean of sadness

When working with confusion, I often use the feelings in my head as the focus point. With sadness the focus changes to the heart and stomach areas, where we often feel sadness most keenly. Here you take a feeling of sadness and relax into it. If you imagine the sadness is like an ocean, and you let yourself gently sink beneath the surface and into the deep depths. I also follow the feeling in my body down into my stomach, it’s like a sinking feeling from your stomach down into the abdomem. As you sink down you start to let go of the specifics of the sadness, and just relax into the deep, non-conceptual, oceanic space that the sadness opens up within you. It’s like you are drifting in the depths of an immense ocean. This technique transforms the specific sadness into a deep non-conceptual space that you can then use to meditate on consciousness itself. In this way you transform an obstacle to meditation into the gateway to meditation.
Like the confusion, you may also find yourself emerging from the sadness quite naturally and without effort as a side effect of this practice.

Related articles: Darkness emerging as light
Messiness, unlabeling, unknowing
Taking the weight off your chest (Transforming sadness)

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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On overcoming fear of failure & your teenage-self

Post author By Toby
Post date June 16, 2025

“If I am well connected to my inner teenager, then I can draw upon his innate curiosity, ambition and appetite for life in a way that other middle-aged folk who lack a vital connection to their inner teenager cannot!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article explores the inner teenage-self, and how to work with him/her therapeutically in mindfulness. If you enjoy it then come along to this Tuesday & Wednesday’s Summer solstice meditation, where in a part of it we will be exploring our connection to this part of our self.

This Saturday I will be facilitating my Meditation & Mindfulness for working with your Child-self workshop, which is also a therapeutic mindfulness session.

Working with both our inner child & teenager forms a part of both my Therapeutic mindfulness coaching sessions, and my Mindful Self-knowledge program. If you are interested in either of those, just follow the links to find out more…

In the spirit of the teen-self,

Toby

On overcoming fear of failure & your teenage-self

The teenage, or young-adult self is a part of our psychological being that has received less attention than the ‘inner child’, but nevertheless represents an equally important part of our ‘inner family’ that we can be rewarded for greatly by paying a little attention to. What I’d like to do in this article is to share a story about my own process around this from earlier in the year that illustrates in practical terms this type of work.
Before I tell the story, it is going to be useful I think to give working definition of our inner teenager, so here is one from Nathaniel Branden:

The teenage-self; is the component of the psyche containing the “personality” of the adolescent one once was, with that teenager’s range of values, emotions, needs, and responses; not a generic teenager or universal archetype, but a specific, historical one, unique to an individual’s history and development.

A general observation about our teenage-self, ideally it is good to have expressed our teenager in our teens, and gotten a lot of her/his behaviour out of our system when we were actual teenagers. However, if we didn’t, and we still sense a part of ourself that is ‘stuck’ at that level, then it is good to be able to draw her/him out consciously, and find ways that they can rebalance themselves in our current, later stage of life.

So here is my story. In January I spent a little bit of time just being present to my inner teenager, checking in and seeing how he was. One of the things that came out of this was an awareness of how scared of failure he had been at various times. This is natural; teenagers are often self-conscious, and care about what others think. Consequently, if they try something and are rejected, or fail in front of others, then this can feel like a big deal! So, you can imagine I find myself engaging with memories of my teenage years involving that fear of failure, of embarrassing moments when I tried something and failed, or when said something that, shortly after I judged as ‘stupid’. I am sure that you will have similar moments from your teenage years that you can related to this!

After having this experience, I practiced simply being with my teenage-self, and re-assuring him that it’s ok to fail, that it was good that he tried things even when it didn’t work out, and that it’s not the big deal that he experienced it to be at the time. I did a little bit of journalling, a little bit of sentence completion as well as visualization. I felt that he seemed to receive this well, and appeared brighter and lighter when I saw him with me in my inner vision.
The curious thing about this process was that, whilst going through it I felt myself to be conducting myself in daily activities in a lighter, less worried manner. Unconscious tension that I may have still had in my system from my teenage years felt much reduced, daily life became easier and more carefree. It literally became more fun and less stressful to be me!

So, this is a good example of how using therapeutic mindfulness to work through previous stages of one’s life, in this case my teenage years and my present inner-teenager, can have a tangible and positive effect on the present and our experiences of it.

Related reading: Meditating with your teenage-self
Meditating with your inner-family
Therapeutic-mindfulness anthology

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, therapeutic mindfulness

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The Freedom of your inner garden

Post author By Toby
Post date June 2, 2025

“Work in the inner garden of your mind a little bit every day, like you would work on an outer garden to give it a sense of order & beauty”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article takes a look at inner and outer gardening. If you enjoy it, it will be the subject of this week’s Tuesday, Wednesday class. You would be welcome to join, either live-in-person, or online!

Beneath the article you can see the full list of events for June, including the Meditation & Mindfulness for working with your Child-self workshop, and the summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation.

In the spirit of our inner gardens,

Toby

The Freedom of your inner garden

Cultivating an inner and outer Garden space

Yesterday, Sunday, I spent about an hour in the front and back garden, bringing a bit of order to the gentle chaos that it was becoming. I dug out the root of a Banyan tree at the back that had gone rogue, and I trimmed the jasmine bushes at the front, putting some eggshells and fertilizer in their pots. The great thing about doing any kind of gardening work is that, by the end of it your mind often feels wonderfully clear and peaceful. As well as the peaceful feeling, there is the sense of having brought order and harmony to the physical space, a sense of benevolent control. This in turn changes (for me at least) the overall sense of having some control and order in my life. When I walk through my front gate now, I have the feeling of satisfaction of having nurtured the garden, and I see the plants I have worked with.

In one sense of course this can also be taken as a metaphor for the ‘inner garden’ of our mind. Mindful attention is very much about noticing and nurturing focus on the things in life you can appreciate and feel good about. Yes, parts of your life may feel in chaos or dis-order, but don’t forget to notice the parts that aren’t (the inner equivalent of jasmine bushes in the above example), and feel good about the work you’ve done today to bring order to the chaos (the Banyan tree root above).

Your energy body and your environment

Gardening work and indeed any time in contact with nature can open up some interesting meditation capacities. Here are a few simple ways in which I work with the energy of the environment and nature regularly:

Feet on the ground, in meditation or walking, feel the light and energy from the Earth rising up into your body, activating its vitality. Feel like you have a body of energy interpenetrating your physical body. With your light body, sense into the mineral, plant, and elemental (earth, water, air, fire) energies around you. Let this contact feed and balance you inwardly.
Feel your belly area to be a focus point for your biological energy. Breathe in and out of your belly, feeling the natural bliss of your life-force and vitality building in that space.
Feel your heart-centre to be connected to the sun and its energy. See a beautiful sun at your heart. Breathing in and out of it, making the heart-zone of your body bright, loving & strong
Feel your head to be connected to the energy of the sky and stars. See a bright star-light in the centre of your brain, connecting you to the natural Freedom and spaciousness of the sky and stars all around us.

The above are all very simple focus points that, when you take the time to dwell upon them can lead you into quite deep meditation states relatively easily and quickly, it is not hard work!

Related reading: Finding energy through meditation – Aspects of meditating with your energy body
Meditating with the energy of trees & plants
Trees, birds & Octopuses – Achieving harmony by letting be

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing Tuesday & Wednesday’s weekly, 7.30-8.30pm – Embodied Transformation – An integrative introduction to Tantric meditation

Ongoing on Saturdays weekly, 5.30-6.15pm – Embodied Transformation – Saturday Tantric deep-dive meditation sessions

Saturday 24th May, 10.30am-12noon – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Level 1 – Friday 30^th May, 8am-4pm, Level 2 – Friday 13^th June, 8am-4pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to Non-Dual Meditation Practice Retreat & Course

Tuesday 17th, Weds 18th June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 21^st June, 2-5pm SG time – Meditation & Mindfulness for working with your Child-self

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

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Indestructible safety (On Therapeutic & Tantric mindfulness)

Post author By Toby
Post date May 19, 2025

“Tantric practices such as recognizing your indestructible-safety are all about making educated leaps of perception!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article takes vulnerability, safety & invulnerability as the subject. If you enjoy it, it will be the subject of this week’s Tuesday, Wednesday & Saturday class. You would be welcome to join, either live-in-person, or online!

If you enjoy the therapeutic side of the article, then do check out my therapeutic mindfulness coaching, and also the Meditation & Mindfulness for working with your Child-self on the 21st (workshop), & 23/24 (sessions) June. On early bird up until 7^th June 10% off!

In the spirit of the indestructibilty,

Toby

Indestructible safety (On Therapeutic & Tantric mindfulness)

Therapeutic mindfulness

The purpose of therapeutic mindfulness is to create a safe space for us to explore the way that our difficult past experiences impinge upon our present experience. It enables us to work trough them in a way that we increasingly experience the present moment free from the baggage of the past. In a previous article I outline six mindful positions that are useful in this regard:

Grounding in the senses
Recognizing safety
Warmth & compassion
Appreciation
Curiosity & courage
A sense of being supported

In this article I want to use safety as an example of how to combine therapeutic mindfulness and Tantric mindfulness. Therapeutically, recognizing and resting in safety involves acknowledging your vulnerable or fearful self, and then:

Recognizing that in this moment you are physically safe, there are no immanent threats to your wellbeing. Letting your body, mind, and heart rest in this space of safety, using it to feel secure and relaxed as you navigate the day
Creating a psychologically safe space – Consciously abstaining from attacking or negative thoughts/emotions toward yourself, so that your inner space with yourself is one that feels increasingly safe, reliable, and consistent.

Tantric mindfulness

In contrast to therapeutic mindfulness, Tantric mindfulness is about recognizing and experiencing your ‘always already’ awakened, ‘perfected’ nature in the present moment. If it can be combined with therapeutic mindfulness, then they create a wonderful and powerful team. So how can this be applied to safety? The instructions below are short and may seem quite radical, but, well, that’s Tantric practice, it is all about making ‘educated leaps of perception!’
If you relax into the stillness of your consciousness-itself in the present moment, then you will become aware of a dimension of self that is formless and timeless, Eternal, and Free. Recognizing and resting in that formless-timeless self, recognize that it is indestructible;

Because it was not born, it does not die
Because it is formless and timeless, it cannot be destroyed by anything
Even if the outer circumstances in your life are limiting and oppressive, this part of you is completely and radically FREE from this limitation, free from the oppression of fear, free from anxiety around uncertainty

So, you practice recognizing your formless timeless nature, recognize its nature as being indestructible safety, and identify YOU as THAT.

Three positions to explore combining therapeutic & Tantric mindfulness

So, to put these together, practice cycling through:

Breathing and relaxing into physical safety, dialling down your nervous systems’ emergency triggering
Creating a psychologically safe space for yourself to rest and regenerate yourself within
Based on the above two, practice recognizing your formless-timeless indestructible self, and rest in the experience of indestructible safety, both in meditation, and as much as possible in your daily life

This practice invites you to combine the acknowledgement of both your vulnerability, and need for safety at the same time as recognizing your indestructability. Initially this looks like a paradox, but put into practice it quickly becomes working with a complementary polarity.

Enjoy your indestructibility!

Related reading: Toby’s therapeutic mindfulness anthology
Therapeutic mindfulness coaching
Combining your witnessing with Tantric meditation

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing Tuesday & Wednesday’s weekly, 7.30-8.30pm – Embodied Transformation – An integrative introduction to Tantric meditation

Ongoing on Saturdays weekly, 5.30-6.15pm – Embodied Transformation – Saturday Tantric deep-dive meditation sessions

Saturday 24th May, 10.30am-12noon – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Level 1 – Friday 30^th May, 8am-4pm, Level 2 – Friday 13^th June, 8am-4pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to Non-Dual Meditation Practice Retreat & Course

Tuesday 17th, Weds 18th June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Meditation & Mindfulness for working with your Child-self – Workshop: Saturday 21^st June, 2-5pm SG time, &
session series: Session 1 – Monday 23^rd June, 7.30-9am (7.30-9pm Eastern time US), Session 2 – Tuesday 24^th June, 7.30-9am (7.30-9pm Eastern time US)

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, tantra, tantric midfullness, therapeutic mindfulness, therapy

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Re-awakening the Bliss of your childhood

Post author By Toby
Post date May 6, 2025

“Reconnecting to your bliss can have a profound effect on everything else; pain is less wearing, emotional dissonance is easier to harmonize, disappointments & life’s curve-balls are easier to work with”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article takes bliss and childhood as the subject. If you enjoy it, it will be the subject of this weeks Tuesday, Wednesday & Saturday class. You would be welcome to join, either live-in-person, or online!

Quick reminder of the The Call of the Wild: Shamanic Meditations for connecting to animal guides in the inner world Masterclass & Mini-retreat over the weekend!

In the spirit of thoughtful bliss,

Toby

Re-awakening the Bliss of your childhood

When connecting to the bliss of being alive came naturally

When I was a young boy, I used to ‘twiddle’ my hair. This meant taking a lock of my hair between my index & middle fingers and rubbing it gently between the two. This very quicky sent me into a relaxed, semi-trance state that felt very naturally blissful. This bliss was a physical feeling in my body, not an abstract idea. When it happened, the front of my tongue would rise to the top, front of the roof of my mouth, where I would feel it ‘suck’ rhythmically, like a baby sucking on a bottle, or a breast. Twiddling my hair could go on for long periods, like in the back of a car whilst on a weekend journey. My parents literally called me ‘Toby twirl’ because of this habit, which lasted actively until my early teens.
After my early teens, I forgot about twiddling my hair for several years. But when I started practicing Qi gong, and meditating, I noticed that that familiar ‘sucking’ of my tongue on the roof of my mouth returned, along with the feeling of bliss in my body at certain times. This was something of a discovery, because once I had connected to the experience of childhood bliss, I found I could very easily go into a state of meditation by recalling the experience of twiddling my hair, and activating the feeling of blissful aliveness in my body. The bliss was/is really useful, because it makes it easy for the body-mind to relax, and to stop thinking about stuff. If you can access a state of bliss, since it is so much more pleasant to feel blissful than worried, it easy to choose feeling blissful over compulsive stress, at least for some of your day!

So, then I have a question for you; do you have any memories of childhood bliss, like the ‘hair-twiddling one’ that I mention above? Perhaps it was in your childhood, but it might have been later, in your teens, or a passage of your adult years. If you can find such a memory and remember it, then that can then act as the basis of your own re-awakening to bliss in the here and now.

Re-connecting to that cellular memory now

When you recall your experience of childhood (or other) bliss, what will happen is that you will activate your body’s cellular memory of it. This means you activate the feeling of the blissful memory in the body, and so actually start to experience a little bit of the bliss in the present moment. If you dwell upon that feeling now, you can grow it back to the power of it’s original state, thus bringing back the regenerative energy of bliss into your life. Just a few minutes a day of reconnecting to your bliss can have a profound effect on everything else; pain becomes less wearing, emotional dissonance is easier to harmonize, disappointments and life’s curve-balls are easier to accept and work with.

The bliss-work is nice to explore as a practice by itself, but there are also two further ways in which you can enhance the building of your bliss are:

Combining it with core cellular breathing
You can combine it with the meditation on Making yourself bigger

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Saturday 10th & Sunday 11th May – The Call of the Wild: Shamanic Meditations for connecting to animal guides in the inner world Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Starts Tuesday 6^th, Wednesday 7^th May, 7.30-8.30pm – Embodied Transformation – An integrative introduction to Tantric meditation

Starts Saturday, 10^th May & then weekly, 5.30-6.15pm – Embodied Transformation – Saturday Tantric deep-dive meditation sessions

Tuesday 13th & Wednesday 14th May, 7.30-8.30pm – Wesak compassion & inner visioning meditation

Saturday 17th May, 3-4.30pm – One Heart Open Day: Heart Opening meditation with singing bowls

Tuesday 17th, Weds 18th June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 24th May, 10.30am-12noon – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Level 1 – Friday 30^th May, 8am-4pm, Level 2 – Friday 13^th June, 8am-4pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to Non-Dual Meditation Practice Retreat & Course

Tags bliss, childhood, inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

A Mind of Ease creative imagery Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Presence and being present Primal Spirituality

Three types of Big Wonderment

Post author By Toby
Post date April 21, 2025

“The core state of philosophy is Wonderment, a state of presence, where we feel gentle awe & curiosity in the face of Life”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This Tuesday 22nd, Wednesday 23rd April, 7.30-8.30pm I’ll be starting a two part meditation series: The Wisdom of Awakening Series – Trusting your truth. If you enjoy the article on Wonderment below, it will be the subject of this weeks class, you’d be welcome to join!

This two part meditation series is also a sort of warm up for the upcoming Tues/Wednesday & Saturday Tantric meditation sessions, so do check them out!

In the spirit of the Big Wonderment,

Toby

Three types of Big Wonderment

Wonderment, philosophy and thinking in principles

Philosophy might be thought of as the art of thinking in principles. Every person has a philosophy in life. However conscious or unconscious, however functional or dysfunctional, we all have a set of ideas and beliefs that act as our core navigating system, our ‘philosophy’. Part of the art of good philosophy is to examine your core beliefs about life and improve upon them, so that your inner navigating system runs on a higher quality ‘true-er, more beautiful and more-good’ set of core principles.
The challenge with philosophy is that it can quite quickly become abstract and dry, not connected to our actual life experience. One way to avoid this is to cultivate the ‘state’ of philosophy, and then think from this experiential state. The core state of philosophy is Wonderment, a state of presence, where we feel gentle awe and curiosity in the face of Life. Wonderment is a lovely state just to breathe and relax with in meditation. I have also developed it in three ways which I find help me keep my philosophy real and experiential. They are implicitly ‘Tantric’ in their approach, but can be easily cultivated by anyone.

Alive to wonderment – Bliss & being born from Life

Sink your sense of Wonderment into your lower abdomen and hips. Feel it connecting to the gentle bliss of your biological life force, and its generative energy, so that it becomes blissful wonderment. Experience yourself as being born from Life, and an expression of Life, rather than an isolated, cut off unit of life that must fight for it’s place in the life around it. When you think philosophically, think from this place of Life-full Wonderment.

Heart Wonderment – The magnetic Ocean of Love

Bring the state of Wonderment into your heart and chest, feel it connecting to the natural warmth and care that exists in that part of your body. Feel that ‘small’ love at your heart to be connected to the Ocean of Universal Love that we all exist within. In a state of Wonderment, experience yourself as that Ocean of Love, appearing as this feeling of warmth within your heart. When you think about your life, think from this place of Heart-Wonderment.

Mind Wonderment – The radical freedom of the Witness

Focus the state of Wonderment in your head and brain. Feel the Wonderment mixing with the sky life freedom of your consciousness itself. Not the thoughts but that which observes the thoughts, watching with liberated curiosity. When you reflect on your life, think from this place of Mind-Wonderment, or Freedom.

PHILOSOPHY

Before the visitor embarked upon discipleship he wanted assurance from the Master,
“Can you teach me the goal of human life?”
“I cannot.”
“Or at least its meaning?”
“I cannot.”
“Can you indicate to me the nature of death and of life beyond the grave?”
“I cannot.”
The visitor walked away in scorn. The disciples were dismayed that their Master had
been shown up in a poor light.
Said the Master soothingly, “Of what use is it to comprehend life’s nature and life’s
meaning if you have never tasted it? I’d rather you ate your pudding than speculated on
it.”

Maybe its possible to eat your pudding, and philosophize with Wonderment at the same time!

Related articles: Born from Life
This week’s article: All you need is Love – Contemplative Non-Duality
Combining your Witnessing with Tantric meditation

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops

Tuesday 22/29^th, Wednesday 23/30^th April, 7.30-8.30pm – The Wisdom of Awakening Series – Trusting your truth

Saturday 17th May, 3-4.30pm – One Heart Open Day: Heart Opening meditation with singing bowls

Tuesday 17th, Weds 18th June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation & philosophy, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, wonderment

A Mind of Ease Biographical creative imagery Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Primal Spirituality

Making yourself bigger

Post author By Toby
Post date February 24, 2025

“Whatever us going on in the small temporal experience you are having right now, you are bigger than it, and it is workable”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks at the scale of who you think you are, and suggests some mindful ways to change the balance in a positive way!

If you enjoy the article, we will be meditating on this topic in both the Tues/Weds class and the Saturday deep-dive sessions. I invite you to join us either live, online or via the recording.

In the spirit of bigger (in this case) being better,

Toby

Making yourself bigger

The feeling of oppressed

Whenever we feel, if you observe the experience of being stressed, scared or overwhelmed, it is often something like:

My body feels contracted in on itself, reduced. My sense of ‘I’ follows this
The challenge feels LARGE, much bigger than mee, like a tall building or monster towering over you
A sense of being weak or helpless in the face of this massively larger, more powerful force

This feeling then makes not just the presenting challenge more difficult, but everything that happens to you. Life feels like a struggle, a trap, something that you are a victim of.

Working with scale

About eight years ago I had an experience sitting in meditation where I felt my body was not just a small body sitting in my room, but large, as big, bigger than the apartment block. It was as if I was sitting in the landscape like a large building, looking down upon everything. Along with this literal feeling was an experience of feeling stronger, more powerful in relation to my life. It changed my sense of how I existed in relation to my challenges, in relation to what was possible. As well as power, there was a feeling of calm confidence.
I stayed with this feeling for several weeks, letting it become a part of my foundational way of going and being, I had literally become bigger!

Beyond psychology

The Yogachara school of Buddhism asserts that all our internal problems come from a mistaken sense of self. We perceive ourself as a small being, inside our skin, with a separate, foreign world outside of us. In reality, it asserts, our True Self, or Self-as-Consciousness is infinite and boundless. As this infinite and boundless self, we are not in the world, the world is in us! We are as huge infinite and boundless as consciousness itself!
By engaging in some simple Yogachara-ic ‘mindful shifts’ we can achieve some quite remarkable changes in our experience, I’m placing a few below.

Some mindful positions on Bigness

Sitting in meditation, walking, or otherwise in a state where you can settle into a mindful condition, use the following simple sentences as anchors for exploration:

I am not in my body, my body is in me (as a boundless, timeless consciousness)
I am not in the room, the room is in me
I am not walking/sitting in this landscape, the landscape is in me
I am not on the Earth, the planet is in me
I am not within the orbit of the moon, the Lunar sphere is within me
I am not within the Sun & solar system (Galaxy, Universe, whole of Creation), they are within me
I am not in life, life is within me, I am Life

Everything is happening within you, within your boundless Body, Mind and Heart. Whatever us going on in the small temporal experience you are having right now, you are bigger than it, and it is workable.

Related reading:
Non-Dual meditation & Organismic reality
Making yourself big
Connecting to Your Big Mind (Is the Mind in the Body or the Body in the Mind?)
Born from Life, not into it
Small Focused Mind, Big Open Mind

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Starts Tues 11^th, Weds 12^th February, 7.30-8.30 pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to non-dual meditation practice

Begins Saturday 15^th February – Freedom & Fullness deep-dive non-dual meditation sessions

Tues 18th, Weds 19th March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Tags Big mind, inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

Concentration Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Breathing Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Primal Spirituality spiritual intelligence Zen Meditation

Dancing between time & eternity

Post author By Toby
Post date February 3, 2025

“The Eternal Present a place (or non-place) we can take a holiday, returning to time & our life refreshed,
enthused & ready to go”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at time mastery from a meditative perspective. If you enjoy it it will be a focus point of this week’s meditation classes on Tuesday & Wednesday.
The Eternal Present will also be a point of deeper focus of the upcoming Tues & Weds Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to non-dual meditation practice classes, as well as the companion deep-dive non-dual meditation sessions beginning on Saturday 15th February, 5.30pm SG time.

In the spirit of Presence,

Toby

Dancing between time & eternity

Looked at from a certain point of view, we are points of energy moving in time and space. That may see a little abstract, but really it is quite simple, mastery of human life involves mastery of our time, our energy and our movement, physical, mental, emotional spiritual. In this article I want to focus on time mastery, outlining four mindful positions that can be used progressively and then in a circular, mutually re-enforcing manner. Here they are.

Position 1 – Positivity in time. This first position entails becoming present enough to be aware of the stream of thoughts and experiences flowing through your body-mind and, even though you might still be a bit distracted, steering your attention towards the positive. For example, as I am sitting here now watching my attention, I can notice that;

my sore back is feeling much better today than yesterday
I’m looking forward to doing some gentle exercise tonight
I’m enjoying the process of writing
I’m slept well last night

So, the idea here is that, as I stay generally present and self-aware, I keep my attention primarily centred around objects that give rise to resilient, positive thoughts and feelings.

Position 2 – The present moment in time. In this second position I’m interested in trying to identify THIS present moment in time, as it moves through time, and staying with it. Using my breathing as an orientation point:

As I breathe in, I am focused and aware of this present moment in time
As I breathe out, I relax into the PMIT, noticing what is there

Practising in this way we build proficiency at being more present and in the now-moment in time, not lost in thought, not falling asleep. This builds temporary peace of mind, trains in undistracted concentration and builds relaxed focus that is useful both in meditation and daily life.

Position 3 – The eternal present. As I relax into the present moment in time, I start to notice that there is a watcher, or a witness within myself that is simply awareness, a formless consciousness. This witness-self always remains the same; an always open expanse of pure, free awareness. If I turn my attention away from the objects of consciousness, the things that come and go in time, and instead gently rest in the freedom of consciousness itself I start to drop into the Eternal Present. This is the present moment beyond time. It is not moving from moment to moment, it is the always already here and now. It is the space that contains all time(!) By practising position three, we drop out if time into the formless timeless Present. This is great for a radical deepening and expanding of our consciousness in meditation, but it is also fantastic for giving our everyday mind a complete break from all its worries and concerns in time. It’s a place we can rest and take a holiday, returning to time and our life refreshed, enthused, creative and ready to go!

Position 4 – Integration of the three positions. The three positions above summarized are:

Different degrees of distracted in time, but being present enough to keep your attention sufficiently focused on the positive to build resilience and perspective
Increasing proficiency at being in the present-moment-in-time, both in and out of meditation
Dropping into the Eternal Present to enjoy the radical freedom and bliss of it, then returning to time and life refreshed and enthused

Position 4 then is practising them together, in meditation and informally in daily life, so that most of our time we are in one or other of these conditions, dancing in and out of time lightly, creatively and playfully.

Related reading: Eternal life (& where to find it)
The Eternal Present and the Four Types of Time

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Final session this week! 7.30-8.30pm – The Wisdom of Awakening Series – Meditation for leaping into reality

Saturday February 8^th, 15^th, 22^nd, 10-11.40am – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – a three module course

Starts Tues 11^th, Weds 12^th February, 7.30-8.30 pm – Freedom & Fullness – A practical introduction to non-dual meditation practice

Begins Saturday 15^th February – Freedom & Fullness deep-dive non-dual meditation sessions

Tues 18th, Weds 19th March, 7.30-8.30pm – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Tags eternal present, inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, present moment