Category: Meditation and Psychology

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Breaking the cycle of negative stress with compassion

Dear Integral Meditators,

What is the relationship between your stress and your compassion? If you brought a bit more mindful compassion to bear upon your stress, what might change? The article below explores these questions. Enjoy!

In the spirit of compassion,

Toby

PS: If you are in Singapore we shall be doing a class on compassion tomorrow, Wednesday evening.

Breaking the cycle of negative stress with compassion

Compassion happens when caring attention comes together with the awareness of suffering or pain; for example, when we see someone we care about and they are in pain, the empathy that we have for their pain, and the wish we may have to ease or remove their pain is compassion.

The cycle of negative stress
Quite often when we are under stress we withdraw our awareness, care and compassion in an attempt to escape from the discomfort that arises from the stress. This often happens in our relationship to ourself, for example:
When our body is fatigued, instead of extending compassion to our body, we distract our attention from the fatigue of our body in order to try and escape our pain. Unfortunately, by withdrawing our awareness and disconnecting from our body we deny it the opportunity to recover and heal, and we also further deplete our physical energy through the act of distraction (surfing our phone or such like). This in turn makes our body more tired, which in turn gives rise to more fatigue, which in turn accentuates our stress.
When we experience emotional discomfort, instead of extending care and compassion to the feeling, we instead withdraw attention from it or deny, hoping that it will go away. By doing so often we find ourselves wasting energy trying to distract ourselves from the emotion we are feeling, and over time it simply gets worse.

Keeping the door open to compassion, breaking the cycle of negative stress.
In the two examples above we can change our experience of the stress cycle we experience by extending compassion to what we expereince. For example:

  • When we feel physical fatigue we can extend awareness to the tiredness in our body, giving it compassion and care. We can learn that by doing so we can release some of the fatigue and invite fresh energy into that area of the body, breaking the cycle of negative stress.
  • When we experience uncomfortable emotions, instead of running away from them we can extend awareness, care and compassion to them. By doing so we can start to look after them properly, experiencing them mindfully, and allowing them to be released. In this way we can disrupt our cycle of habitual negative emotional stress, and emerge into a new space of greater emotional intelligence and resilience.

Practice: Keeping the door of compassion open
Whenever you notice a tendency or impulse to withdraw attention from yourself or others due to stress or pain, see of you can keep the door to compassion open in your mind and body, even if it is only just a little. Observe how this starts to change your relationship to stress and disrupt the negative cycles of physical and psychological tension that you habitually become trapped in.

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings from November, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Tuesday 7th February & Wednesday 8th February – Lunar new year meditation 2017: Tapping into the confidence, motivation & honesty of the Rooster

Friday 24th February, 7.30pm – TGIF meditation & meal: Nourish your body mind & soul at Oneheart!

Saturday 25th February, 10am-5pm – An Introduction to Meditation from the Perspective of Shamanism

Saturday 4th March, 10am-5pm – Meditation from the Perspective of Shamanism Level 2 – Deeper into the Shamanic journey

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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creative imagery Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindfulness Presence and being present

Mindfully ‘eating’ your thoughts

Dear Integral Meditators,

There are three ways in which we can use our mind in order to ‘digest’ our thoughts and experiences. The article below explores how we can use mindfulness to consciously integrate these three into our daily life, so that they are supporting each other, and helping us to enhance the quality of our life.

In the spirit of eating your thoughts,

Toby

Mindfully ‘eating’ your thoughts

In order to ‘eat and digest’ the information coming into and from our mind, we need to be competent in three modes of processing that information. These three modes are thinking, reflecting and non-thinking.

The first mode, ‘thinking’ involves actively using our cognitive intelligence to problem solve, seek information, stimulate action, strategize, assess risk, and generally actively create thoughts regarding our life. For many people this is the ‘default’ mode that they use their mind for. Many of us are compulsive thinkers to the extent that, even when there is nothing really urgent to think about or solve, we invent a bunch of thinking and problems to solve just so as we don’t have to sit with the discomfort of our relationship to, and feelings about, ourself. This first mode of using our mind, thinking, in the analogy of ‘eating our thoughts’ might be likened to the process of creating and eating food.

The second mode of using our mind is ‘reflecting’. Reflecting involves a much reduced pace of actual thinking and thought creation; it is mainly concerned with observing and dwelling contemplatively upon the experiences we may have had during the day. It principally uses awareness and acceptance to look back upon and ‘digest’ what we are going through. It enables us to process our life constructively in the same way that sitting quietly for a period after a meal enables us to digest our food and obtain nutriment from it.
The third mode of using our mind is ‘non-thinking’ which is where we deliberately cease processing our world mentally and cognitively for a period of time in order to renew and regenerate our energy. In terms of our ‘eating’ analogy, non-thinking corresponds to the ‘emptying’ part of the metabolic process; If you kept eating and digesting food, but never ‘emptied’ your bowels and intestines, then they would very rapidly become a bursting, fetid mess. In a similar way emptying our mind through non-thinking cleanses and empties our mental space, enabling us to receives new experiences and to think and contemplate them in fresh ways. For many people meditation practice is explicitly the way in which they at least try and practice the discipline of non-thinking.

To come back to the eating analogy, it is clear to everyone that in order for our body to remain healthy we need to eat, digest and then empty the waste product of our eating. Similarly, in order to ‘eat’ properly mentally we should have periods each day where we are consciously focused either upon thinking or contemplating or non-thinking, integrating these three processes in a balanced way into our life.
In terms of your mindfulness practice, one basic question to ask yourself is “What is it most appropriate for me to be doing right now; thinking, contemplating or non-thinking?” and then act upon the answer that comes back to you.
We can also structure our day formally into sections where we deliberately think and problem solve, sections when we are reflecting/digesting, and sections when we are simply emptying. This can be done in an organic manner, for example by choosing to emphasize reflection rather than thinking on the bus home, or simply choosing to drink our coffee whilst thinking as little as possible and emphasizing ‘emptying’.
Simply understanding these three modes of using your mindfulness to apply them consciously to your life can be tremendously empowering!

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Inner vision Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership

Mindfully dancing between doing and being (the four stages of engaged mindfulness)

Dear Integral Meditators,

Mindfulness is a process that can be equally applied to dynamic action and contemplative reflection. The article below explores how you can combine active and passive forms of mindfulness into a four stage ‘engaged mindfulness’ practice.

Wishing you all the very best,

Toby

Mindfully dancing between doing and being (the four stages of engaged mindfulness)

Engaged mindfulness can be distinguished from mindfulness in general in that it is specifically designed to help us bridge the gap between ‘doing’ and ‘being’ in our life, or our passive-reflective modes and our active-dynamic modes. It can be summarized in a four-stage cycle that we can apply to any situation and circumstance. The first two stages are primarily observational, whereas the second of the two stages are often more dynamic and action based.
The four stages are as follows:
Awareness – The first stage is primarily observational, we are committing to becoming as aware as we can of what is happening in this situation, both within ourselves, and in the environment.
Acceptance – The second stage involves accepting the reality of what we find as wholly as possible, even if that reality is in conflict with what we want to be there.
Respons-ibility – At this stage, having brought ourselves to accept fully the reality that we find ourselves in, we then practice taking mindful responsibility for our role in the situation; ‘What is it that I need to take responsibility for here, in a way that will be most beneficial for both myself and others?’
Assertion and/or action – Having become aware of and accepting of the situation as we are able, and having taken responsibility for our role, the final stage of engaged mindfulness involves asking the question ‘What is it (if anything) that I need to do here? We then take action according to the answer to this question.

We can apply this four-stage process to any circumstance. It can be with regard to our inner world of thoughts and feelings, or to do with our outer world of relationships, work and value exchanges with our environment.

An example – requesting payment
Recently I decided I needed to address the issue of outstanding payments from clients from last year (start the year of the Rooster with a clean slate so to speak). I was aware that I did not feel entirely comfortable making this request, so I did the four-stage process:
What do I need to be aware of here? – Literally people owe me money, emotionally I feel a little uncomfortable asking for it, as well as feeling a little annoyed that they haven’t paid yet. I’m also aware of the immanence of certain bills that need to be paid at the end of this month….
What is it that I need to accept? – One main dimension that I discover I need to accept is my emotional discomfort about the situation. In order to deal with it effectively I need to be ‘comfortable with the discomfort’ of the emotions present.
What do I need to take responsibility for here? – Clearly no one else is going to do the awkward task of asking for the money, and no one is going to take care of my awkward emotions, it has to be me, this is my responsibility and there is no-one coming to ‘save’ me!
What do I need to do? – In this situation, I need to clearly take care of my emotions, and write the emails. Based upon having done this I can then relax and rest at ease with the situation, knowing I have done what I am capable of doing as far as I am able.

As mentioned at the beginning, engaged mindfulness is designed to help us create a mutually supportive and re-enforcing dynamic between our modes of doing and being, or reflection and action. This week you might like to apply the four stages mindfully to a couple of your daily challenges, and see how it changes your experience.

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Special 1:1 Coaching Offer at Integral Meditation Asia in January
The beginning of the year can be a great time to spend quality time on getting your mind, body and heart prepared for the challenges you are facing as the year progresses. With this in mind I will be offering a special 20% discount offer on all 1:1 meditation and mindfulness coaching services for the month of January at Integral Meditation Asia. This is a saving of Sing$120 if you book as set of 3x 60minute sessions, or Sing$44 per single session…click HERE for full details!

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Starts Tuesday and Wednesday January 10th/11th 2017 – Transformation through mindful intention –a three module meditation course

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings from November, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Ongoing Mondays & Thursdays – Morning integral meditation classes with Toby

Saturday 4th February, 9.30am-1pm – The six Qi gong healing sounds: Qi gong for self-healing & inner balance workshop

Saturday 25th February, 10am-5pm – An Introduction to Meditation from the Perspective of Shamanism
Saturday 4th March, 10am-5pm – Meditation from the Perspective of Shamanism Level 2 – Deeper into the Shamanic journey

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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A Mind of Ease creative imagery Energy Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Breathing

Finding inner strength through softness

Dear Integral Meditators,

I’ve had a couple of conversations this week with friends and clients about how much effort it is to meditate and still the mind. The article below explores how to work on stilling the mind with as little effort as possible, using the softness of the body.

In the spirit of softness,

Toby

Finding inner strength through softness

If we understand that our body and mind are co-arising symbiotically together in each moment, then we can start to observe how our thinking affects or body, and how the way in which we hold our body affects our mind. If you come back to your body from time to time in between periods of thinking, you will notice that your thinking has created particular patterns of energy and tension in your body. Those patterns of energy, feeling and tension in turn predispose us to continue thinking in a similar way to the thoughts that created them.
For example, If I have a habit of thinking in an anxious and insecure way about my relationships, then this creates a pattern of energy and feeling in my body that primes my mind to continue thinking in that way.
One simple way to reduce the amount that you think, and break patterns of compulsive thinking is to consciously relax your body so that it is no longer holding the tension of your thinking. You can use this simply to meditate and relax, or to break negative patterns of thinking that are not serving you, doing it whenever you find yourself stuck with compulsive thoughts. The technique is basically very simple; you make your body too soft to hold thoughts. How does this work?

  • As your sitting right now, over the next few out-breaths release tension from your body and feel it becoming soft like cotton, or like a cloud, or like a pillow, or like a feather or like jelly. Make it so soft that it is unable to hold the tension of a thought structure. As soon as a thought arises in your awareness it dissipates and dissolves away because there is no tension in your body to hold the thought.
  • Stay focused on your physical being, making it soft like the body of a baby at rest. As you do so you will observe how this creates a state of mental relaxation, where thoughts have real difficulty sustaining themselves, simply because you are feeling so relaxed and comfortable
  • You may/will notice as you are doing this that there are parts of your body that seem to be holding knots of tension. As you breathe out focus upon softening these specific areas, so that the tension is released.
  • Relax into the feeling of mental spaciousness and comfort arising from the physical softness of your body.

For many of us this technique may take a bit of getting used to because we are not really somatically attuned to our body and its feelings, we are kind of stuck in our head. However, once we start to get a feeling for it, we will discover a very energy efficient, simple and reliable method for being able to step out of our compulsive, habitual thinking mind into a state of presence and relaxation using the softness of our body.

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Special 1:1 Coaching Offer at Integral Meditation Asia in January
The beginning of the year can be a great time to spend quality time on getting your mind, body and heart prepared for the challenges you are facing as the year progresses. With this in mind I will be offering a special 20% discount offer on all 1:1 meditation and mindfulness coaching services for the month of January at Integral Meditation Asia. This is a saving of Sing$120 if you book as set of 3x 60minute sessions, or Sing$44 per single session…click HERE for full details!

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

3rd & 4th January – New year releasing and inviting meditation

Starts Tuesday and Wednesday January 10th/11th 2017 – Transformation through mindful intention –a three module meditation course

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings from November, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Ongoing Mondays & Thursdays – Morning integral meditation classes with Toby

Saturday January 14th, 2-5.30pm – Relaxing your way to enlightenment – Regenerative meditations for releasing stress & connecting to your primally awakened state

Saturday 21st January, 9.30am-1pm – The six Qi gong healing sounds: Qi gong for self-healing & inner balance workshop

Saturday 25th February, 10am-5pm – An Introduction to Meditation from the Perspective of Shamanism
Sunday 26th February, 10am-5pm – Meditation from the Perspective of Shamanism Level 2 – Deeper into the Shamanic journey

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness

The resilience of gentleness

Dear Integral Meditators,

When you think about inner strength and resilience, what sort of qualities come to mind? This weeks article is one that I wrote at the beginning of 2015, observing how strength can be mindfully derived from cultivating a connection to gentleness.

For those in Singapore, final call for Saturday afternoons workshop on Mindful Resilience – Sustaining effectiveness, happiness and clarity under pressure through meditation and mindfulness all welcome!
Also, for everyone, wherever you are, its not too late to start participating in the Resilience through love online and live mindfulness course.

In the spirit of gentle strength,

Toby

The resilience of gentleness

One of the ‘meditation words’ I have taken for this year is self-care. Normally I take 2-3 words and focus upon them over the course of a year and let the themes and mysteries within them gradually reveal themselves. Meditation means to dwell deeply, so staying with just one, two or three words for a year and spending time each day investigating them deeply can be a beautiful and rewarding meditation practice!
One of the things that I have observed about focusing upon and trying to practice self-care each day is that each time I take the time to do a little self-care, I start to feel a little more inwardly resilient; it becomes a little easier to feel happy, a little easier to be benevolent to others, a little easier to acknowledge and face the challenges in my life I might want to wish away.
This is one of the interesting things about developing a quality; when we develop it we find that we start to simultaneously develop its opposite quality in a way in which we may not have expected. Gentleness gives rise to strength; stillness gives rise to dynamism; focus gives rise to relaxation. This week or over the next few days, if you like, try doing something each day that is a deliberate and appropriate expression of self-care. See how you can grow your inner resilience by using the method of gentleness.

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings from November – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

3rd December, 2-5pm – Mindful Resilience three hour workshop

Saturday December 10th 9.30am-12.30pm – An introduction to mindful walking & meditation workshop
Saturday December 10th 2pm-5.30pm – Living life from your inner center – Meditations for going with the flow of the present moment

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Becoming mindfully unfocused

“Becoming mindfully unfocused is a technique to use specifically to relax and regenerate the energy of your mind when it has been working hard and needs a break”

Dear Integral Meditators,

It’s tough to keep focused these days, when there are seemingly so many things demanding our attention. In the article below I explain a method that I use for regenerating my mental energy and willpower when they are feeling a little run-down…

In the spirit of soft focus,

Toby

Becoming mindfully unfocused

Becoming mindfully unfocused is a technique I use specifically to relax and regenerate the energy of my mind when it has been working hard and needs a break, or when I feel my willpower is low and needs to gather its strength. The short-term effect is the experience of feeling mentally and physically refreshed, but I also feel that in the long-game of aging over the years this type of method can help prolong the shelf-life and functioning of my mind, brain, willpower and nervous system.
To practice mindful non-focusing, sit or lie down in a comfortable position and take a few breaths to relax your body-mind and bring it into the present moment.
Then imagine that your brain has a kind of ‘sleep mode button’, that when you switch it, it goes into a kind of semi-sleep, semi-awake mode; you are still awake and aware, but most of the ‘thinking’ function of the brain has been shut down. It’s like you are asleep and awake at the same time. In this ‘sleep mode’ allow your body, mind and heart to relax as deeply as they can. Now allow your mind to become unfocused, in the same way that for example a movie camera dilates to a ‘soft focus’ where everything is slightly blurred, soft and indistinct.
At this point with your thinking brain in ‘sleep mode’ and your mind in ‘soft-focus mode’, simply work on relaxing into and sustaining that state of mindful non-focus. Allow it to help you rest your mind and regenerate your energy. The key is to apply just enough ‘effort ‘ to sustain this state of being mindfully unfocused. It is a little bit like having a nap, whilst at the same time increasing the capacity of your conscious mind to remain awake and attentive in a state of deep relaxation and ease.
A final point here is that this state of restful unfocused-ness is one that we are dipping in and out of unconsciousness at various times during the day, so this technique like many other mindful methods is a way of connecting to an already existing state of mind, using mindfulness to put it to positive use to our own ends.

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings from November – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

19th November – One Heart Celebration Day (Joint event)

Saturday 26th November 10am-5pm – Engaged Mindfulness day workshop/retreat

3rd December, 2-5pm – Mindful Resilience three hour workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Biographical Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindfulness

The Yin & Yang of mindful thinking

Dear Integral Meditators,

Managing your basic thinking processes is one of the most important life-skills that you can develop. The article below explores one simple mindfulness method that can really help!

For those in Singapore, quick reminder of the Tuesday evening class starting on the 8th!

In the spirit of the thought filled journey,

Toby

The Yin and Yang of mindful thinking

As I continue to coach people in the art of mindful thinking it continues to strike me how tricky people find basic positive thinking and care of the thinking mind. This short article is an attempt to explain in simple, practical terms how to think in a way that supports our happiness and wellbeing at the same time as taking care of wounded, negative or challenging thoughts that arise.
The basic principle of this practice is this; deliberately think two constructive thoughts, and then acknowledge a more negative or challenging thought. So, if I take myself right now as an example I bring to mind two good things I’ve experienced in the last 24 hours:

  • I enjoyed listening to Ken Wilbur’s Full body mindfulness module on the bus to work this morning
  • I enjoyed my meeting with colleagues yesterday where we discussed our future plans for collaboration

I note and dwell upon these two positive experiences for a moment, letting my appreciation sink in. On the basis of this simple, positive experience, I then seek out a more difficult or challenging thought or perspective that may be bothering me. For example:

  • I feel somewhat run down physically due to my workload right now

I then spend a few moments simply being aware of, acknowledging and taking care of the feelings associated with this challenge, making my peace with it. Then I go back to constructive thinking and seek out two positives:

  • I enjoyed the conversation I had with my daughter last night
  • I feel grateful for the fact that I can help the healing of some niggling sports injuries I have using mindfulness (great skill to have at my disposal)

I dwell upon these thoughts and the feelings associated with them, so that my sense of my world being basically ‘good’ is re-enforced. Then I deliberately seek out a troubled part of my mind to take care of.  Looking at my mind as an example right now:

  • I feel sad that I don’t have more time to devote to environmental concerns, or to spend more time in and with nature

Again, I mindfully acknowledge that thought, consciously taking care of the feelings associated with it, approaching it with compassion.

And so it goes on. Whenever there is a spare moment I come back to this mindfulness of thoughts; deliberately seeking out and enjoying two constructive thoughts before I then look for a challenging thought/perspective to take care of and process consciously. If I do this mindfully through-out the day, then my mind is going to really start to feel strong and resilient, as my reality is increasingly experienced through the perspective of my positive thoughts, and any challenging thoughts and feelings within me are made to feel supported and cared for (as opposed to feared, rejected or indulged in). One thing that I notice about this practice is that it really affects my physical energy quite tangibly, there is no doubt that having a strong mind helps the body to feel strong to a certain extent and degree!
Like my other integral mindfulness practices, this can be done as a sitting down exercise (even a written one using a note pad), or simply something to be mindful of as you are going about your daily activities.

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings from November – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Saturday November 12th, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life, and growing your own personal Life Tree

19th November – One Heart Celebration Day (Joint event)

Saturday 26th November 10am-5pm – Engaged Mindfulness day workshop/retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Integral Meditation Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Breathing Mindful Resilience Mindfulness One Minute Mindfulness

Body-heart-mind scanning

Dear Integral Meditators,

Is it possible to release physical, emotional and mental stress in a single practice? This weeks article is principally a description of a meditation technique for doing just that, and implicitly building a stronger, more resilient body-mind connection within yourself.

In the spirit of an integrated body, mind and heart,

Toby

Body-heart-mind scanning

If you are familiar with mindfulness practice to any degree, then you will probably have heard of body-scanning, the practice of scanning through the different areas of the body looking for tension and consciously releasing it. In the technique below I describe a simple body-scan in conjunction with a ‘mind and emotion scanning process’ that enables us not just to ease physical tension, but also to become aware of and release tension within our mind and ‘thought-body’ as well as our emotions and ‘emotional body’. The aim and effect of this technique is to effect a greater degree of relaxation within ourselves, at the same time as synchronizing/harmonzing our body, heart and mind together.

The practice

Step one – The physical body scan
Sitting or lying comfortably with a relatively straight back, use your awareness to mentally scan progressively through each area of the body, from the crown of the head down through the face, neck, torso, arms, hips legs and feet. If you like as you are checking each part, you can first tense the muscles in that area to feel them fully, then relax them completely. This second ‘tensing and relaxing’ method is an option you can try.

Step two – Connecting to and relaxing the mind, heart and instincts
The mind – Having scanned through the body once, now focus your attention in the brain and forehead area. As you breathe in and out feel the brain becoming more and more relaxed. As it does so, feel yourself letting go of your thoughts and thinking; relax the mind as deeply as you can.
The heart – Now come down to the heart and chest area, as you breathe awareness in and out of your heart area, become aware of any emotions that may be present there. As you exhale, feel your chest and heart relaxing, and your emotions calming and stilling.
The instincts – The third stage in this section involves moving your awareness down into your belly and abdomen. Bring awareness to the rising and falling of the abdomen as you breathe. As you breathe in this way, become aware of the energy of your instincts and biological life force. As you exhale down in the belly, feel yourself calming your instincts and letting go of any primal, fight or flight tension.

Step 3 – Going deeper into mindful flow
In the final stage, pick one area of your body to focus on, the brain area, the heart or the belly. For 3-5 breaths focus upon the sense of ease and relaxation in that part of the body, then spend a few moments holding your attention still in that area. Repeat this pattern of 3-5 breaths followed by a few moments of still-attention for the remainder of the meditation, going deeper into a state of mindful flow.

Practising in daily life
In daily life you can do short periods of body-heart-mind scanning, with almost no extra effort. For example, if you were to do a 1-3-minute practice, once in the morning, afternoon and evening where you briefly scan and relax the body, then spend three breaths each relaxing the brain & thoughts, the heart & emotions, and the abdomen & instincts, this would have a tangible and positive effect on your stress levels and ability to stay centered under pressure.

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings from November – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Saturday November 12th, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life, and growing your own personal Life Tree

19th November – One Heart Celebration Day (Joint event)

Saturday 26th November 10am-5pm – Engaged Mindfulness day workshop/retreat

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Two types of choice-less awareness

Dear Integral meditators,

This weeks article focuses on two different ways of being mindful of your choice-making process.

In the spirit of choice-less awareness,

Toby

Two types of choice-less awareness

What is your current relationship to making choices in your life?

In traditional Buddhist mindfulness practice practicing ‘choice-less awareness’ means to witness whatever comes up in your field of awareness as a detached observer, without commenting, judging or getting involved in what arises. You are aware of what is arising without making any choices or trying to affect it; whatever is there is there; simply watch, observe and relax.
The fundamental benefit of this practice is that it gives you the peace of mind arising from being able to separate your ‘I’ from the contents of your consciousness. You are the owner of your thoughts, feelings and impulses, but you are not the thoughts, feelings and impulses.

Type two: Deliberate non-choosing
A second type of choice-less awareness involves simply deciding to abstain temporarily from making decisions and choices. The goal here is to deliberately set aside time where we make no choice or decision at all, simply resting in the circumstances that we find ourself in, and relaxing*.

The anxiety of being ‘caught between’ choices.
The reason for cultivating this second type of choice-less awareness is that much of our mental anxiety is created around our relationship to the decision-making process:

  • What is the right or best thing to do in this situation?
  • What if I make the wrong decision?
  • I don’t know what to do here
  • What if I am blamed for this?

If we are not careful we can spend a lot of our time in a state of low-grade anxiety, worrying about the dilemmas and choices in our life. For many of us this has become a habit to the extent that, even when we do make a choice that solves a problem, rather than deriving satisfaction from that, our attention simply seeks out another dilemma to worry about!

Stop your inner debate!
The idea with the mindful ‘non-choosing’ is to stop worrying by deliberately suspending our choice making capacity. This enables our mind to relax, regenerate its energy and return to sanity. To practice this as a sitting meditation, for the designated time you have set aside create a boundary; ‘For the next X minutes I will make no choices about my life, nor will I debate or weigh up issues. I will enjoy the simple pleasure of unburdening myself of my choice making responsibilities and being more present’.

Conscious choosing
The idea with conscious non-choosing is not that we don’t make choices at all, ever. Rather it is that that we develop the skill of temporarily putting down our choices in order to enjoy a more relaxed mind, better quality of life and reduce our anxiety.
The flip side of dropping our choices is to then spend the time when we are making choices in a more focused, mindful manner. We deliberately identify the important choices that we need to make today, this morning or in the next hour, and bring our full intelligence to that choice-making processes.
A good question to ask yourself to facilitate conscious choice-making is ‘what are the two most important choices that I need to make today?’ Identify the two choices that must get made today, and focus your intelligence on making them as well informed as possible!

Note from para 3* If we are doing this while engaged in some form of activity, for example walking, then we will obviously have to make small choices (to go left or right for example). The point here is to avoid our mind debating between two or more options in an abstract way. The immanent, small choices that we have to make in the moment (go left, go right) we can just make as required.

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Saturday 22nd October, 9.30am-12.30pm – Going From Over-whelmed to Over-well: Meditation for Quietening the Mind – a three hour workshop

Saturday 22nd October 2-5pm – Mindfulness & Movement session at the LifeChiro Center

Saturday November 12th, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life, and growing your own personal Life Tree

19th November – One Heart Celebration Day (Joint event)

Saturday 26th November 10am-5pm – Engaged Mindfulness day workshop/retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Insight Meditation Integral Meditation Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Dualistic appearance – What you see, and what you think you see

Dear Integral Meditators,

What you think you see and what you actually see are two separate things, often going on simultaneously. The article below explores how this happens in our life, why its important, and how we can start to work with it mindfully.

In the spirit of clear vision,

Toby

Dualistic Appearance – What you see, and what you think you see

One of the most useful distinctions I learned from my time as a Buddhist monk was that there is often a difference between what you think you are seeing and what is actually there. This was called in Buddhist-speak ‘dualistic appearance’. The technical definition of dualistic appearance is:
 ‘The appearance of an object to our mind together with our generic, or conceptual image of that object’.
Essentially this means let’s say you see for example a person. In the first instant of seeing that person you see them literally, physically as they are in front of you. In the next instant your mind will then project your idea or concept of what you think they are upon that person. So from that point on you are seeing two things as you look at them:

  • The person as they literally appear in front of you
  • Your idea of what you think they are, that you project (often unconsciously) upon them

Some examples:

  1. I’m feeling angry after a day at work. Someone unintentionally obstructs me on the pavement as I walk home. What literally happens is someone obstructing me physically. A moment after I experience this I project the image of a complete idiot blocking my way who is intensely annoying. The person literally blocking me is what’s actually there. The image of the ‘idiot’ that I project onto them is a conceptual image of my own creation. Two appearances in the same moment; one is ‘real’ and one is a projection of my mind.
  2. Let’s say I’m feeling anxious and insecure. I’m having a normal day, but because I’m feeling anxious and insecure I project it upon the people around me in the office. They are basically saying and doing ordinary things, but I am projecting that they may not like me, that they are judging my work and so on. Again we see what is ‘actually happening’ appearing at the same time as what we think and project is happening.
  3. I’m feeling unusually positive, but I’m with someone who is upset and negative. Literally what is appearing to me is a person behaving in a negative manner, but I’m feeling so good and so strong inside that I project a positive image upon them; ‘nice guy really, just temporarily upset(!)’

The essential point here is that in each moment there are two things appearing to us:

  • What we see
  • And what we think or project we see

The first is relatively fixed, the second is flexible, mutable, changeable. If you can change what you project, you can change what you experience!

Things you can mindfully start doing with dualistic appearance

1. In any situation ask yourself the questions:

  • What literally, observably happened here?
  • What ideas and images am I projecting upon what is happening / being experienced?

2. Spend time consciously observing and witnessing your life, projecting as little of your own personal content as possible on the situation. See what this reveals to you.
3. Be aware when you are projecting negative ideas and images on your world. Don’t buy into it. Project less!
4. Practice imprinting positive, kind, benevolent images and ideas upon your reality, see how you can change it for the better by doing so.
5. Be aware when other people around you are projecting too, be discerning what you buy into!

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology