Tag: integral mindfulness

Moving from center – a diagram of how meditation works

Post author By Toby
Post date September 8, 2025

“A meditator sits in the hub of the wheel without being lost in the spinning”

Moving from center – a diagram of how meditation works

In this short piece I want to show you and explain a diagram that I draw frequently in my workshops, organizational trainings. It’s a way of explaining how meditation makes things better for those that practice it. it is called ‘Moving from centre’.

Moving from center

In the diagram you can see there are two circles, both represent someone’s consciousness in daily life and then patterns that it flows in. Here we might define meditation as ‘a way of moving back to your center’;

back to the present moment
back to awareness of your body and breath
back to the central reason you are doing something
back to what you were intending to focus upon
back to what is most important

All of these are examples of ‘coming back to center’ as a meditative act.

The top circle represents someone who does not meditate, or who has no mechanism for moving regularly back to their inner-center. You can see that basically their pattern of consciousness is basically a big squiggle; all their activities, and the thoughts, emotions and impulses that accompany them are all getting mixed up. One activity bleeds into another, one thought leads sideways to another unrelated thought. Emotional states from work come back home at night, worries from home come into your work activities.

Mr Messy

When I was a child there was a character in a story called Mr Messy. He was a guy who was completely chaotic, and whose body was basically just a big squiggle. Many peoples mind and energies are like this, which is tiring and inefficient, but also not a lot of fun…

In the second circle, you can see that the pattern of consciousness has changed, there is now a center-point with lines leaving and returning from it. At the end of these lines are little squiggles, representing daily activities, physical, mental emotional. This is the pattern of consciousness of a meditator. S/he may not be doing anything different from the person in the first diagram, but the way in which their consciousness relates to the activity is different, Going something like this:

Wake-up, center, make breakfast, organize,get kids to school, center
Off to work, staying centered during commute, arrive relaxed and ready
Center around the first task of the day, relax into it
Have a challenging meeting, heated conversation, difficult emotions, center afterward
Lunch, use food to center, aware of but not lost in emotions from meeting
Afternoon, center around first activity, relax into it
Going home, center, don’t carry work into interactions with family
Center around the dinner, reflect on the day

….and so it goes on, the same day, but experienced differently. A meditator sits in the hub of the wheel without being lost in the spinning. They center in the eye of the storm as it blows around them. When you go through life moving to and from center, the sense of harmony and balance that comes from this results in a profound change. The externals don’t change, the internal strong emotions and mental busyness comes and goes like it did before, but we experience it differently.

Welcome to the world of the meditator.

Last week’s article: Scratching out your name card, & other gateways to Zen meditation

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Tuesday 2nd & 3rd September, 7.30-8.30pm, & then weekly – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Saturday 6th September, 5.30-6.15pm, & then weekly – Zen meditation Deep-dive – A 10 session practice series

Saturday 20th September, 5.30-6.30pm – Autumn equinox balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 20th September, 9am 12.30pm – The Six Healing sounds: Qi gong for Self-Healing & Inner Balance Workshop

17 Oct 2025, 8am-12pm & 21 Nov 2025, 8am-12pm – The wisdom of Zen meditation practice retreat & course, levels 1&2

Saturday 29th November, 7-9pm – Living Life From Your Inner Center – Meditations for Going With the Flow of the Present Moment

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Tags centering, hub of the wheel, inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, moving from center, power of mind

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Scratching out your name card, & other gateways to Zen

Post author By Toby
Post date September 1, 2025

“What might happen if you temporarily put down your identification with the job title that you carry on your name card, you just scratched it out for a while?”

Dear Integral Meditators,

On the 23^rd of August I led a Zen meditation on the ‘Man or woman of no rank’ at the One Heart open day. This theme is one of what I like to call ‘the gateways of Zen’, you can listen to the meditation we did by clicking on the link.

In the article below I talk a little about the idea of the person of no rank, and share a short story related to it. If you enjoy the meditation & the article, then do consider participating in the Zen sessions that start this week, weekdays, or Saturdays, or both. You can participate in person, online or via the recordings!

In the spirit of label-less-ness,

Toby

PS: Full details of all events in September below article!

Scratching out your name card, & other gateways to Zen meditation

What might happen if you temporarily put down your identification with the job title that you carry on your name card, You just scratched it out for a while?
What would happen if you did something similar with other roles that you identify with;

Your family roles as a parent, child, or sibling?
Your identification with gender roles, nationality of culture?
Your age, your personality ‘type’?
The story that you carry around with you almost all the time?
What if you even forgot your name?

To put down your labels in this way is to become a ‘man or woman of no rank, and is one of the gateways to Zen. The traditional story below illustrates this quite vividly.

Zen Story: The Governor’s Card

In the city of Kyoto, there lived a great Zen master called Keichu. He was the head of Tofoku, a huge cathedral in the city. Keichu held sway over his jurisdiction and was well-respected for his astute perceptiveness.
When Kitagaki took over as the Governor of the city of Kyoto, he heard much about Keichu’s wisdom. Deciding to pay his respects, Kitagaki called upon Keichu one evening. Upon reaching the cathedral, Kitagaki presented his business card to Keichu’s attendant and asked for an audience with the Zen Master. The attendant asked Kitagaki to wait and went inside to give the card to Keichu.
“Master, there is someone here to see you,” the attendant announced.
“Who is it?” Keichu asked.
The attendant gave Keichu the Governor’s calling card which read: Kitagaki, Governor of Kyoto.
“I have nothing to do with this fellow!” bellowed Keichu, throwing the card in disgust. “Tell him to leave right away!” he said, turning to the attendant. The attendant picked up the calling card and dashed to the hall where Kitagaki was waiting. “My apologies, dear Sir,” he said. “The Master does not wish to see you,” he told the Governor, remorsefully returning his card.
Kitagaki was startled. He took his card and was about to leave when he read the words on his card. Realizing his folly at once, the Governor took a pencil and scratched out something from his card. “That was my mistake,” he told the attendant, giving him the calling card again. “Would you please be kind enough to ask your Master one more time?”
The attendant returned to Keichu’s chamber and handed him the Governor’s card again. The card now simply read: Kitagaki. The Governor had scratched out the words, ‘Governor of Kyoto.’
Keichu read the card and his eyes lit up.
“Oh, it is Kitagaki? Yes, I would like to see him now; send him in please!” he told his attendant.
And that’s how the Governor of Kyoto got an audience with the Zen Master Keichu.

Related reading: Becoming a man or woman of no rank
Meditation spaghetti western style

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Saturday 20th September, 9am 12.30pm – The Six Healing sounds: Qi gong for Self-Healing & Inner Balance Workshop

17 Oct 2025, 8am-12pm & 21 Nov 2025, 8am-12pm – The wisdom of Zen meditation practice retreat & course, levels 1&2

Saturday 29th November, 7-9pm – Living Life From Your Inner Center – Meditations for Going With the Flow of the Present Moment

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, zen gateway, Zen meditation

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Zen ergonomics – Sailing with, rather than rowing against life

Post author By Toby
Post date August 23, 2025

“How might I start to sail with this?”

Dear <<First Name>>,

This week’s article explores an image that I use a lot in my coaching practice, and that also have found to be of enduring value in my own life challenges. If you enjoy the article, then you are invited to the upcoming free seminar this Wednesday!

In the spirit of sailing rather than rowing,

Toby

Free online seminar – Sailing with life, not rowing against it: Re-discovering your lightness & beginners mind through Zen meditation

Date: Wednesday 27^th September 2025
Time: 7.30-8.30pm Singapore time

If you can’t make the session live, let us know & we would be happy to send you the recording!

Overview: How can we find a way of encountering life and its challenges where we are working with what we are experiencing, rather than against it? Why does life sometimes seem to get heavier and less spontaneous as time goes by? How can we stay simple and calm in the face of the sometimes bewildering complexities of our life?…read full details

This week’s article: Zen ergonomics – Sailing with, rather than rowing against life

Zen – Buddhism meets Taoism

Zen is a non-dual school of meditation, and a Mahayana Buddhist one. Being a non-dual school means that is aims at a direct perception of reality As It Is, rather than as our mind thinks it is. To be a Mahayana school essentially means that Zen is underpinned by the motivation and aspiration of universal wise compassion, aiming to help all living beings find a release or liberation from their suffering.

Zen also offers an ergonomic approach to life, meaning that it aims to help us relax into our challenges and tribulations, rather than fighting with them. By learning to gradually accept things as they are and as we find them, we can find ways to work with what is going on rather than fighting it. It is very practical and ‘earthy’ in a way that combines the ‘transcendence’ of Buddhist meditation with the nature-based ‘flow’ philosophy of Taoism.

Sailing – working with, not fighting against

Alan Watts often used the image of sailing rather than rowing to give a sense of how this works. If you have a particular situation you are facing, notice the way in which you are approaching it. Are you trying to fight to overpower it, or are you relaxing into it, trying to find a way of relating to what is going on that is skilful? Fighting with a situation is like being in a boat and trying to row against the wind – every stroke takes effort, you pit your strength and energy against the wind and every stroke takes toil. A ‘sailing’ approach on the other hand involves trying to catch the wind and work with it, to use the energy to help you. If the wind is against you, then a good sailor knows how to tack, or sail diagonally into the direction of the wind, so even if the situation is difficult or challenging, we are looking to find ways to use it rather than fight it!

Centering, putting down concepts, your self-concept & entering relaxing into the beginning

Before you think about what to do in a situation to sail rather than row, it’s good to simply be present to it. A few pointers for this:

Center yourself in your body, in the moment. Try and feel the centre-line of the body, the mid-point between the front and back of the body, and the left and right halves of the body that runs from your crown to your perineum. Take a few slightly deeper breaths if you need to relax
Put down thinking, clear your mind. If you can’t stop thinking, then a skilful way is to not think about the thinking; be present to thoughts without causing them to generate more thoughts (if that sounds a bit Zen, it’s because it is!)
Notice and then put down your self-concept. Don’t just put down your thoughts, also notice you are carrying an idea of yourself into the situation; all the labels, roles and images you have about what and who you are
Relax into the beginning. Meet your situation in the moment, the now, free from your ideas about it, and what it should or shouldn’t be. Try and resist the temptation to start seeking a solution or a fix, just take your time being present with it, and relaxing into that as best you can

From this position of relative center, presence and relaxation ask yourself the question, “How might I start to sail with this?”

The better you get at sailing, the more relaxed you become under pressure, the less exhausted you feel when you become tired, and the more you notice how many small ways there are to sail through your life challenges with a degree of enjoyment, pleasure and creativity!

Related articles: Not thinking about thinking – A Zen approach to non-conceptual awareness

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, Zen meditation, Zen mindfulness

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Not thinking about thinking – A Zen approach to non-conceptual awareness

Post author By Toby
Post date August 18, 2025

“Often, we feel like we must escape our thoughts to get into meditation. Not thinking about thinking turns our thoughts into a doorway to meditation, & a space of calm amidst any inner storm”

Dear Integral Meditators,

One of the deep and abiding pleasures of meditation is that of being able to sit in a state of non-conceptual awareness. One of the reasons people don’t achieve this is because in their minds they think it must be really difficult to achieve, it must be a lot of effort. In reality, achieving non-conceptual awareness is more a matter of trying smarter, rather than trying harder! The article below explores how to start relaxing into the pleasure of non-thinking.

If you enjoy the article, there are many sessions on non-cenceptual meditation coming up that you can join live, online of via the recording; The One Heart Zen open day, The upcoming Zen classes & deep dive sessions, and the Finding your inner-center workshop. Further details via the links.

In the spirit of non-conceptuality,

Toby

Not thinking about thinking – A Zen approach to non-conceptual awareness (AKA cultivating Prajnic awareness)

Non-conceptuality – A central practice for awakening

In the Tibetan school of Buddhism I spent my first decade of meditation training in back in the 1990’s, the main meditation was the meditation on emptiness. A central way of understanding emptiness is that it is simply non-conceptual awareness; the ability to see and be with things as they are, rather than as we think they are. Another word for non-conceptual awareness is ‘prajnic-awareness’,

To give a slightly more rounded sense of the word prajna, here is a quote from the Wikipeida page on it: Prajñā is often translated as “wisdom”, but according to Buddhist bioethics scholar Damien Keown, it is closer in meaning to “insight”, “non-discriminating knowledge”, or “intuitive apprehension”

The meditation on non-conceptual wisdom is a central practice all the Mahayana schools of Buddhism, Tibetan, Japanese Zen, Chinese Chan. So, when we cultivate it, we are cultivating a lineage of meditation that has a long and central role in the practice of awakening and enlightenment! Perhaps more importantly, accessing non-conceptual awareness enables us to find a place of reliable peace and wellbeing amid stress, uncertainty, emotional upheaval and all variety of life challenges. If you make it a part of your experience, you can find the ‘calm amidst the storm’ wherever you are and wherever you go.

Cultivating non-conceptual awareness

One simple trick to start cultivating non-conceptual awareness is to deliberately try and be aware of several things at the same time. For example:

The sky above you
The earth beneath you
Your breathing
The overall sensation of your body

Your senses
Your emotional state
Your thoughts
Awareness itself, or the simple experience of being conscious

You can create your own variations.

Spend a bit of time cultivating an awareness of each domain, getting a feeling for each. Then put them all together and try and be aware of all of them simultaneously. To do this, you have to stop thinking and just be aware. You can’t be aware of 3-4 thigs at the same time AND think about them! So, what this does is it ‘traps’ or ‘tricks’ you into just looking, just being aware. This then gives you a gateway to the actual experience of non-conceptual awareness, or prajnic-awareness. If you do this then you are practising ‘seeing without thinking’, ‘awareness without thoughts’.
If you continue to meditate in this way, then you will start to drop deeper and deeper into non-conceptual awareness (aka consciousness-itself, or emptiness), which is the gateway to realizing the awakened or enlightened state in many of the great wisdom schools of the world.

Not thinking about thinking – A Zen approach to non-conceptual meditation

Another fun ‘meditation game’ you can play is with thoughts themselves. Watch your thoughts. Normally you will notice that you will them have thoughts about the thoughts; judgments, assessments, thoughts on other related subjects etc… So here, the practice is to experience any thought that comes up simply as itself, without thinking or reflecting upon it. Here we are practising turning our conceptual awareness into a doorway to non-conceptual awareness. If that sounds quite Zen and paradoxical, it is because it is!
Normally we feel like we have to escape our thoughts to get into meditation. Not thinking about thinking turns our thoughts into a doorway to meditation and prajnic-awareness. You might think of this as a ‘trick for the wise’, try it in your own practice, you may be pleasantly surprised.

Related reading: Prajna – Seeing things from all angles & none
Non-Dual meditation & Organismic reality

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Saturday 23rd August, 3-4.30pm – One Heart Open Day: Sound of Zen meditation with singing bowls

Saturday 30th August, 7-9pm – Living Life From Your Inner Center – Meditations for Going With the Flow of the Present Moment

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, non-conceptual awareness, power of mind, prajna, prajnic meditation, Zen meditation

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Cycles of receiving, gratitude, & joy

Post author By Toby
Post date August 11, 2025

“The more joy you feel, the easier it is to open in a state of receptivity, which leads to more gratitude, which in turn leads to more joy, in a virtuous cycle!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What might be a skillful way of getting a better return on investment from your process of mindful attention? in this week’s article I outline a method that I have been enjoying this summer in my own practice.

In the spirit of virtous cycles,

Toby

Cycles of receiving, gratitude, & joy

Integral mindfulness = Virtuous cycles of attention

Integral mindfulness is, in large part about putting together different elements of mindful attention in a way where the sum of the different elements produces a bigger effect than the individual parts. It’s a skillful way of getting a better return on investment from your practice. What I’m going to outline below is a cycle that I have been enjoying this summer in my own practice.

The receiving, gratitude, joyfulness cycle

Receptivity – This involves placing oneself in a state of receiving; openness to receiving all the good energy and experiences that are available to you in the moment. When we are open to these good things we can receive them. Receiving them is a little bit like, instead of just looking at nice food, you actually put it in your mouth and eat it! Receiving is like intentionally ingesting what is being given you in life, experiencing it in a way that then leads to the next stage…

Gratitude – If I am receiving and ‘eating’ the good things that life has to offer me, then it’s natural and relatively effortless to feel appreciation and gratitude for them. Its different from just making a gratitude list, because my receptivity is giving me an experience, a ‘tase’ that I can enjoy. This goes beyond the mere intellectual recognition. When you eat food, you start to feel full, satisfied, replete. This then leads to the third stage…

Joyfulness – Receiving and feeling grateful then gives us a sense of joy, a wonderment in being given a life to lead that has so much to offer us. This then leads to our being able to open receptively to good things as they come up in the moment, and feel joy as we are doing them rather than after the event. You might think of joyfulness (in this context) as spontaneous gratitude; the capacity to recognize and receive the good energy in life that is being offered right now!

Putting yourself in a state of receiving – As you sit and breathe now, gently soften your body, putting is in a state of receiving and receptivity.

Receiving the air that nourishes your body each breath
The love and care available to you in your relationships
Your health
Your ability to live a human life today that has freedoms

Let gratitude emerge from your state of receptivity – No need to try too hard, just let the thankfulness emerge naturally and easily from your experience of receiving. If you notice any inner resistance, don’t force, just stand at the doorway and wait until your mind and heart are ready to walk through.

Feel the fullness of joy emerging from your gratitude – You have been receiving energy, which helps you to feel fuller, to start to regenerate your energy. You have ‘eaten’ what you have received, which has led to experiencing gratefulness. From the gratefulness, now let the sunlight of joy start to emerge. It shouldn’t feel like much hard work.

The more joy you feel, the easier it is to open in a state of receptivity, which leads to more gratitude, which in turn leads to more joy, in a virtuous cycle!

This week I have been getting over the jet-lag from traveling back to Singapore after a few weeks in Europe. Jet lag as I’m sure you will know can make you feel pretty dreadful and discombobulated. Whilst awake in the middle of the night and in spare moments during the day I have been practising the receiving-gratitude-joy cycle, which has made the challenge of the jet lag much easier to navigate. So don’t wait until things are perfect in your life to give this a go, it’s a great way to mitigate pain and suffering!

Related articles: Mindfully eating your thoughts
For every suffering a joy – cultivating positive non-attachment
A flower opening to the Sun – Choosing (& making distinctions around) joy

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Saturday 16th August, 9am-12.30pm – Taoist Pranayama & Breathwork Workshop – Improve physical health, wellbeing & inner peace though deep breathing

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindful gratitude, mindful joy, mindful receptivity, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind

A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight

On insecurity & your inner sense of time

Post author By Toby
Post date August 4, 2025

Dear Integral Meditators,

I’ve just re-edited two articles from over a decade ago, you can check them out below!

In the spirit of mindful revisiting,

Toby

Are You a Product of the Times or the Subject of Your Own Inner Time?

To be a product of the times is simply to be a product of the prevailing cultural, social, biological, economic and other environmental forces that happen to be dominant during the era when you are alive. It basically implies that you as an individual are less powerful than the forces that surround you, and hence the surrounding forces that mold you as a person, and not your sense of own inner direction…read full article

There is Always Something to Feel Insecure About

Sometimes we can find ourselves feeling insecure about a particular issue in our life. It might be our age, our looks, giving a speech or talk in public, what somebody may have said about us, finding a relationship, or not losing it if we have one. Our children, or work, the list goes on endlessly.

One of the keys to dealing with our insecurity is to realize that, even if we were to find a relief from the particular insecurity that we are feeling at the moment, often as not, rather than experiencing an absence of insecurity, our insecure mind simply seeks out something else to feel insecure and frightened about…read full article

Tags inner growth, inner time, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, wisdom of insecurity

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Being self-determining vs receiving help

Post author By Toby
Post date July 28, 2025

“I am not the center of the universe; but I am the center of my universe”

Dear <<First Name>>,

This week’s article explores the relationship between mindful self-responsibility & receiving help from others. Another way of thinking about this is the interface between your intra-personal dynamic (relation to self), & your inter-personal dynamic (relation to others & the world). I hope you enjoy it!

In the spirit of self-determination,

Toby

Being self-determining vs receiving help

You are not the center of the Universe, but you are the center of your life

I’ve written quite a lot in the past about becoming a self-determining entity. Self-determination means recognizing that you are the most powerful force in your life (not in the universe, just your life!), and to take ownership of that power. This then enables you to direct your life creatively toward the good. It means recognizing two positions that help to balance each other:

I am not the center of the universe, so I can relax and stop being so neurotic about all my relatively insignificant problems and challenges
I am the centre of my universe, so what I chose and do is of vital and central importance to my life. It’s not anyone else’s job to ‘save’ me, I need to be the master of my own ship!

Becoming self-directed

‘No one is coming to save me’ is one of my ‘quotes to live by’. I find that in difficult situations, stopping looking outside of myself for help and just focusing on what I can control, and what I can do for myself is both calming and empowering. It is not a shutting off from outside help, it is just a clear recognition that it’s really my job to look after my life and its direction. It’s not:

Not my Mum’s job
Not my partners
Not my business-partners
Not my children
Not my friends
Not my boss’s
Not my employees

It’s my job and responsibility to work through and work out the challenges in my life to the best of my ability, and I do in fact have some ability!

Although no one is coming to save me, many people may like to help!

Becoming self-directed means that we are not looking for someone outside of ourself to save us, and we are doing what we can to move forward in our life challenges. The paradox of this is that, when other people see us being like this, it is an attractive quality. People tend to like and even feel inspired by others that they see being pro-active, intentional, and taking responsibility for themselves. Consequently, even though we may not be asking for help, quite often we find friends, family and colleagues offering help and assistance freely and happily. So, there is a virtuous cycle that gets established between being self-determining and receiving help.

Abandoning your power, cutting yourself off from assistance?

There are two ‘extreme’ positions that we are trying to avoid here:

Being a victim, not trying to help ourselves effectively, and over-asking, or expecting others to solve our challenges
Becoming so narrow in our sense of self-determination that we cut ourself off from the assistance of others, even if it is freely offered, and would be of help to us

Being self-determining doesn’t exclude ever asking for help, or accepting it when offered. It just means that we are taking solid responsibility for ourself, and being personally pro-active. Becoming self-determining even includes getting good at asking for help when appropriate.

In conclusion then, being a self-determining person, and receiving / asking for help can be seen as complementary capacities that when put together make our life both easier and fuller of creative potential!

Related article: Becoming a Self-determining entity – Five stages to mindful self-leadership
© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

All upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm – Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing Tuesday & Wednesday’s weekly, 7.30-8.30pm – Embodied Transformation – An integrative introduction to Tantric meditation

Ongoing on Saturdays weekly, 5.30-6.15pm – Embodied Transformation – Saturday Tantric deep-dive meditation sessions

Saturday 16th July, 9am-12.30pm – Breathwork Workshop – Improve physical health, wellbeing & inner peace though deep breathing

Saturday 23rd August, 3-4.30pm – One Heart Open Day: Sound of Zen meditation with singing bowls

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindful leadership, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, Self-determination

A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

Inter-connected or over-connected?

Post author By Toby
Post date July 21, 2025

“Reduce your device time & increase time spent enquiring into interdependence to go from feeling ‘over-connected & lonely’ to ‘Inter-connected & supported’”

Dear Integral Meditators,

I’ve recently facilitated some corporate workshops on ‘Digital Detox for Corporate Professionals: Reclaiming Focus and Productivity’. Creating this workshop & seeing people’s response to it has really opened my eye’s to how chronic the problems around overuse of devices are for us these days. In the article below I explore a simple flip to go from ‘over-connected, overwhelmed & lonely’ to ‘inter-connected & supported’. I hope you enjoy it!

I’m almost completed with the new meditation programs starting in August/September, you can see the full line up in the Whats On section beneath the article.

In the spirit of connected,

Toby

Inter-connected or over-connected?

What is my relationship to the world? Is a question is one worth asking yourself and seeing what sort of answers and perceptions come back to you. Your sense of your relationship to the world is fundamental, it forms the basis of most of your other perceptions, choices and experiences in life. For many people, the temptation is to experience ourself as someone coming into life from the outside, an outsider who dies not belong, and has to ‘fight’ to earn their place. Life is a battle to belong, rather than an enjoyment of your sense of already belonging.
A ’flip’ that I continue to enjoy is that of being born from life, rather than into it. To quote from a previous article on the subject:

“Our relationship to it is like that of an apple or a leaf to an apple tree. The apple emerges from the Life of the tree itself, not as something separate from the tree. The life of the tree gives rise to the apple. The apple arises from the tree itself, in the same way that the tree came from the life in the apple that it grew from.
You are like the apple being born from the apple tree. The life in you is a part of Life, you are an expression of Life, and Life is you.”

Being ‘born from life’ gives us a sense of effortless belonging, which is a great and un-lonely place to begin feeling into our connection of self-to-world.

Observing interdependence – Inter-connected & supported

We can strengthen our sense of feeling connected to the world by seeing, through contemplation, the way in which we are all interconnected. There are innumerable ways in which we can do this, to give three short examples:

I am writing this article on my parents dining table. To be able to use this table I rely on the carpenters that made it, the wood supplier, the trees it came from (and by implication the forest, not to mention my parents’ hospitality!
I can do the same thing with the computer that I am writing on; so many people involved in the supply chains that put the machine together, created the software and so forth, for me to then buy and use relatively effortlessly
I’ve just finished a coffee whilst writing. Again, to get the coffee to me relies upon the water from the tap, the coffee supply chain, the supermarket, the coffee plant, the land that the coffee plant grew on…

In any aspect of my life, if I start to look at the interdependence that doing what I am doing relies upon, my wisdom-eyes open, and I start to see how intimately and fully I am connected to everything else in the world. From this comes gratitude of course, but also a fundamental reduction in my loneliness. I am always inter-connected, and in this way never alone in a lonely way!

Over-connected & lonely

The above two states of being and feeling interconnected contrast sharply with the experience of many people who are what you might call ‘over-connected’ through their phones and being online all the time. Our devices enable us to be ‘connected’ and ‘in-touch’ all the time, however this experience paradoxically leads many to feel lonely, left-out (and afraid of being left out), isolated and yet compulsively over-connected.

A few practice points:

Reduce, and manage wisely the amount of time you stay connected to the world through your devices
Use the amount of time you save from reduced device time to develop the wisdom of interconnectedness and belonging outlined in sections one and two of this article. This wisdom does not need to be hard work, it’s really just about grounding yourself in the recognition of it. Your inter-connection is fed easily and gently by the recognition!

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 23rd August, 3-4.30pm – One Heart Open Day: Sound of Zen meditation with singing bowls

Tuesday 2nd & 3rd September, 7.30-8.30pm, & then weekly – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Saturday 20th September, 5.30-6.30pm – Autumn equinox balancing & renewing meditation

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Mindful of: Your masculine & feminine balance

Post author By Toby
Post date June 30, 2025

“If our masculine and feminine energies are harmonized, it is a huge plus for our inner resilience and sense of wellbeing.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article looks at working with your masculine & feminine balance. If you enjoy the article, you’d be welcome to join us for the Wednesday class & Saturday class where we will be working with this topic!

If you are interested in Qi gong then do check out my workshop on Saturday 12th July, 9am-1pm – Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels & for Self-Healing

In the spirit of your feminine/masculine balance,

Toby

Mindful of: Your masculine & feminine balance

In this article I want to explore a few mindful positions around your sense of the masculine and feminine energy within you, and how to bring them together into a harmonic, or mutually supportive partnership. If our masculine and feminine energies are imbalanced, or fighting each other, then this can be a source of conflict and dissonance. If they are working together, it is a huge plus for our inner resilience and sense of wellbeing.

Male & female, masculine & feminine

One thing to distinguish initially is the difference between your male and female energy on the physical and biological level, and our masculine and feminine. It is possible to be physically male and very feminine in terms of energy balance, or female biologically and quite masculine in energy balance. Obviously, we are either a man or a woman, and we will have a sense of how we experience that. We will also, as a man or woman have both masculine and feminine energy flowing through us. It is worth reflecting upon this, making the distinction, and then starting to get an intuitive sense of your own point of balance in terms of masculine and feminine polarities.

A balancing chart

Here is a list of masculine and feminine qualities, roughly arranged in complementary polarities:

It is not the only list, or a ‘complete’ list, but by looking over it you can start to give name and form to some of the natural polarities in terms of masculine and feminine, yin and yang energies. The idea with each of them is to build BOTH qualities within yourself, in a way that they are complementary, mutually supporting and ‘aware’ of each other. For example, if you take the first one, Loving and powerful, which is a fundamental one. Tune into the part of you that is loving in various ways. Then tune into the part that is powerful and expresses power. Working with them consciously, you can practise becoming both powerful and loving in your expression of your thoughts, words, relationships, and actions.

Merging your masculine & feminine self

Sitting quietly, imagine that on either side of you, you have a man and woman. Recognize these as being embodiments of your masculine and feminine selves. Feel into their energy on both sides of you to get a sense of both. When you are ready, as you breathe in, feel both figures moving inwards toward you, so that eventually their bodies merge with yours. Experience yourself as being one masculine and feminine being, balanced, harmonized and strong.
If you like you can do this exercise with one of the polarities in the above list. For example experiencing the ‘willful’ part of your masculine energy in the man, and the ‘nurturing’ aspect of your feminine energy in the woman. Then proceed with the merger as described.

Related articles: The middle way
Polarity meditation – Working consciously with tension

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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On overcoming fear of failure & your teenage-self

Post author By Toby
Post date June 16, 2025

“If I am well connected to my inner teenager, then I can draw upon his innate curiosity, ambition and appetite for life in a way that other middle-aged folk who lack a vital connection to their inner teenager cannot!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This week’s article explores the inner teenage-self, and how to work with him/her therapeutically in mindfulness. If you enjoy it then come along to this Tuesday & Wednesday’s Summer solstice meditation, where in a part of it we will be exploring our connection to this part of our self.

This Saturday I will be facilitating my Meditation & Mindfulness for working with your Child-self workshop, which is also a therapeutic mindfulness session.

Working with both our inner child & teenager forms a part of both my Therapeutic mindfulness coaching sessions, and my Mindful Self-knowledge program. If you are interested in either of those, just follow the links to find out more…

In the spirit of the teen-self,

Toby

On overcoming fear of failure & your teenage-self

The teenage, or young-adult self is a part of our psychological being that has received less attention than the ‘inner child’, but nevertheless represents an equally important part of our ‘inner family’ that we can be rewarded for greatly by paying a little attention to. What I’d like to do in this article is to share a story about my own process around this from earlier in the year that illustrates in practical terms this type of work.
Before I tell the story, it is going to be useful I think to give working definition of our inner teenager, so here is one from Nathaniel Branden:

The teenage-self; is the component of the psyche containing the “personality” of the adolescent one once was, with that teenager’s range of values, emotions, needs, and responses; not a generic teenager or universal archetype, but a specific, historical one, unique to an individual’s history and development.

A general observation about our teenage-self, ideally it is good to have expressed our teenager in our teens, and gotten a lot of her/his behaviour out of our system when we were actual teenagers. However, if we didn’t, and we still sense a part of ourself that is ‘stuck’ at that level, then it is good to be able to draw her/him out consciously, and find ways that they can rebalance themselves in our current, later stage of life.

So here is my story. In January I spent a little bit of time just being present to my inner teenager, checking in and seeing how he was. One of the things that came out of this was an awareness of how scared of failure he had been at various times. This is natural; teenagers are often self-conscious, and care about what others think. Consequently, if they try something and are rejected, or fail in front of others, then this can feel like a big deal! So, you can imagine I find myself engaging with memories of my teenage years involving that fear of failure, of embarrassing moments when I tried something and failed, or when said something that, shortly after I judged as ‘stupid’. I am sure that you will have similar moments from your teenage years that you can related to this!

After having this experience, I practiced simply being with my teenage-self, and re-assuring him that it’s ok to fail, that it was good that he tried things even when it didn’t work out, and that it’s not the big deal that he experienced it to be at the time. I did a little bit of journalling, a little bit of sentence completion as well as visualization. I felt that he seemed to receive this well, and appeared brighter and lighter when I saw him with me in my inner vision.
The curious thing about this process was that, whilst going through it I felt myself to be conducting myself in daily activities in a lighter, less worried manner. Unconscious tension that I may have still had in my system from my teenage years felt much reduced, daily life became easier and more carefree. It literally became more fun and less stressful to be me!

So, this is a good example of how using therapeutic mindfulness to work through previous stages of one’s life, in this case my teenage years and my present inner-teenager, can have a tangible and positive effect on the present and our experiences of it.

Related reading: Meditating with your teenage-self
Meditating with your inner-family
Therapeutic-mindfulness anthology

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Tags inner growth, integral meditation, integral meditation asia, integral mindfulness, meditation, meditation in singapore, mindfulness, mindfulness in Singapore, mindfulness meditation, power of mind, therapeutic mindfulness