Category: Awareness and insight

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Awareness and insight creative imagery Inner vision Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditation techniques mind body connection Presence and being present Zen Meditation

Signless-ness – Meeting your reality as it is

“One of the main points of contemplating signlessness is to realize that the world that we experience directly, and the world that we ‘think’ we see with our conceptual mind are two different things”

Dear Integral Meditators,

My Tuesday & Wednesday  classes this week will be on the subject of signless-ness, so here’s an article on the subject. Enjoy, and your welcome to join the session, either live or online.

In the spirit of signs that are empty,

Toby

Signless-ness – Meeting your reality as it is

Definition of Signlessness
Here is a traditional definition of the Zen concept of signlessness from Master Thich Nhat Hanh: “Signlessness is the nature of the non-conceptualization of things.”

One of the main points of contemplating signlessness is to realize that the world that we experience directly, and the world that we ‘think’ we see with our conceptual mind are two different things. By learning to see the world ‘as it is’ free from the coloration of our conceptual mind, we can start to liberate ourself from past conditioning and habitual ‘negative’ thinking and feeling.

A signlessness symbol from a Zen Guide
Imagine you are sitting in a landscape within nature. Then imagine a Zen master walks up to you, bows and hands you a small road sign, with no symbol or words in the middle, just an empty space. Take this as an invitation into the practice of signlessness. Sit with this for a short while and just let your intuition to explore the significance of the symbol…

The essential meditation on signlessness
Is simply  to move into a state of non-conceptuality or no thought, where our mind became signless in the sense of an absence of conceptual activity.

A few points on signlessness
One of the main points of sitting in a state of ‘signlessness’ is to learn to distinguish the world as it is from the world that our conceptual mind imagines or projects is there.
The appearance of our world together with the world that we project upon our reality is called dualistic appearance in Zen Buddhism. It is cited as the main reason why we experience so much confusion, conflict and pain in life.

One simple example of how dualistic appearance disrupts our direct experience of reality is seeing a cockroach. In reality a cockroach is a harmless creature with no power even to give us a small bite. But when many people see a cockroach, their conceptual mind immediately reacts by projecting the image of a cockroach that is aggressive and loathsome. As a result, they experience fear and/or aversion. This is one simple example, but in reality, dualistic appearance is disrupting our connection to the world and life as it is almost all the time. Practicing signlessness helps us to start to see this experientially. By seeing through the illusion created by our conceptual mind. We find depth and stability as we meet life as it is, rather than the illusion projected by our conceptual mind.
Here it is important to note that we are not rejecting conceptuality as all bad. It can have many good qualities. The main thing that we are trying to do is not to confuse conceptuality for reality.  Once we have distinguished the world as it is from our conceptual world, we can then use concepts in a playful and positive manner to enhance our expereince life. For example, if we was habitually conceiving our body as healthy and energised. This way of conceptualizing our body will help us to substantially influence our health and wellbeing if practiced in conjunction with other good habits such as a good diet etc…

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

In case you missed last week article: Connecting to higher, deeper emotions (Enjoying emotional resilience)

Emotions can inspire you
Our day-to-day emotions often grind us down. The frustration of work, the anxiety around an uncertain future, the fatigue of having to tell the kids to do things five times in a row, the low-grade resentment towards others, loneliness, clinging, nervousness…the list goes on. Unless we are careful, this can be our main experience of emotions, which is an energy sapping experience!
But emotions can also inspire us and create energy in us. What if we were able to spend more time in our day connecting to these types of emotional state?…read full article

Saturday August 28th, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life Workshop

Overview: The Tree of Life is an ancient and comprehensive system of meditation, personal development and inner growth represented by the diagram of a tree. Although it is best known as a ‘western’ tradition of spiritual growth (Judaist, Christian, Islamic), the fundamentals of the Tree of Life practice can be found in different ancient systems of meditation and mindfulness throughout the world. This workshop is a practical introduction to how to meditate with the Tree of Life in order to:

  • Stimulate holistic and integrated inner growth
  • Consciously develop different levels and states of consciousness in meditation, and learn how to transition or journey between them in the inner world
  • Stimulate the development of your creative, imaginal and visualization skills
  • Make systematic, organized contact with guides, teachers, healing forces and archetypal energies within the inner world
  • Practice different types of meditation to build different strengths, and help you deal with different inner challenges…read full details

The Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

  • Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
  • Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
  • Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner. Read full details

Watch Toby’s video on the Program

 
Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts 6th&7th July – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Saturday August 21st 9.30-11.30am – Mindfulness for Emotional Intelligence Masterclass

Saturday August 28th, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life Workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Enlightened Flow Essential Spirituality Insight Meditation Integral Meditation Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Meditating on the Self Meditation techniques Presence and being present spiritual intelligence The Essential Meditation of the Buddha Zen Meditation

Finding fulfilment within the dissatisfying

“Meditation enables us to enjoy the ever changing and transforming world around and within us, whilst at the same time resting secure in an identity that is not subject to that change, that is reliable, solid and liberated”

Dear Integral Meditators,

My Tuesday & Wednesday  classes this week continue the theme of Meditation from the perspective of Zen, where we will be meditating with some of the content of the article below…

This  coming Saturday is the Mindfulness for Emotional Intelligence Masterclass, and do check out my Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life Workshop on Saturday the 28th August!

In the spirit of meditation,

Toby

 

Finding permanence within the impermanent and fulfilment within the dissatisfying

It is well known that the one of the Buddha’s main teachings was that of impermanence, that ourself and all the things within and around us are in a state of continuous change. Buddha taught that our ordinary everyday existence has the nature of transience and, when we cling too tightly to changeable things, dissatisfaction, pain and suffering arise.
What is not quite so well known or understood is that Buddha also taught that by closely observing that which is impermanent and unsatisfactory we can discover in that very same act of observation that which is permanent, reliable, liberating and fulfilling. Liberation and permanence exist in the same space as impermanence and dissatisfaction.

So, where is this permanence and fulfilment?
When we are looking for permanence in the here and now, we are looking for that which is not changing from moment to moment. Within the world of things, this type of permanent object is unfindable; our body and mind are changing from moment to moment, our world is changing everyday, friends and acquaintances come and go, we live and die in a state of continuous flux and change.
Amidst all of this change two things stay the same, and they are right under our nose; Our experience of inner and outer space, and our experience of awareness itself:

  • While all the outer world is in a state of change, the outer space that contains and provides a context for that change remains stable.
  • While the inner world of our mind is in a state of constant flux, with thoughts coming and going, the experience of awareness in our mind is always present, and fundamentally unchanging, like the sky that forms the background for clouds and the changing qualities of light during the day.
  • Whilst our sense of self in the world of form (based on our ego, or psychological self-image) always changes (good person, bad person, successful, failure, good looking, ugly etc…) the core experience of witnessing awareness itself remains unchanging, always constant, always non-judging, and steady in the face of all change.

So, when we look for something reliable, permanent, something within which we can truly rest at ease and find liberation from all our travails, the Buddha and similarly the teachers of all the great wisdom traditions teach that it is not found as something separate from your moment to moment experience, it is just that at the moment we are looking in the wrong way.
To find a place of permanence where you can rest at ease and find respite from the challenges and travails of your life, you simply need to look at your moment to moment experience right now and notice three aspects of it:

  • The inner and outer space that provides a context for our inner and outer world and
  • The experience of pure awareness itself.

Awareness has no qualities other than to observe, to bear witness to what is appearing in this moment.
Having become aware of the pervading sense of space, and of awareness itself, you simply allow your sense of self to rest in that sense of spacious-awareness, and enjoy its stability and reliability, how it does not change in the face of the continuously changing world of form.
One of the main points of meditation is simply this; to be able to rest your sense of self that sense of spacious-awareness, and identify that spacious awareness as you, your true self, or “real” self. Doing so enables us to enjoy the ever changing and transforming world around and within us, whilst at the same time resting secure in an identity that is not subject to that change, that is reliable, solid and liberated.

Related article: Tackling a-void-ance: Meditation for healing and transforming loneliness and emptiness

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Saturday August 21st 9.30-11.30am – Mindfulness for Emotional Intelligence Masterclass

In a sentence: Learn how you can use mindfulness to develop your emotional range and skills

Much of our quality of life depends not so much on what we are experiencing, but the way in which we experience it. Our moods and emotional states to a large degree define the quality of our life experience, at work, in our relationships and in our leisure activities. This masterclass will lead you on an experiential journey to:

  • Understand what feelings, moods and emotions are and how to build an effective relationship to them
  • How to consolidate and expand your existing emotional strengths
  • How to deal with difficult and challenging emotions, and even turn them to your advantage
  • How to increase the diversity/range of emotions that are available to you for enjoyment, pleasure and life-effectiveness! Read full details…

 

Saturday August 28th, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life Workshop

Overview: The Tree of Life is an ancient and comprehensive system of meditation, personal development and inner growth represented by the diagram of a tree. Although it is best known as a ‘western’ tradition of spiritual growth (Judaist, Christian, Islamic), the fundamentals of the Tree of Life practice can be found in different ancient systems of meditation and mindfulness throughout the world. This workshop is a practical introduction to how to meditate with the Tree of Life in order to:

  • Stimulate holistic and integrated inner growth
  • Consciously develop different levels and states of consciousness in meditation, and learn how to transition or journey between them in the inner world
  • Stimulate the development of your creative, imaginal and visualization skills
  • Make systematic, organized contact with guides, teachers, healing forces and archetypal energies within the inner world
  • Practice different types of meditation to build different strengths, and help you deal with different inner challenges…read full details

 

The Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

  • Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
  • Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
  • Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner. Read full details

Watch Toby’s video on the Program

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts 6th&7th July – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Saturday August 21st 9.30-11.30am – Mindfulness for Emotional Intelligence Masterclass

Saturday August 28th, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life Workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Enlightened love and loving Enlightened service Essential Spirituality Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Compassionate presence, awakened action

“As your life experience unfolds, often your compassion for others increases because you can relate to them more as you ‘know how they feel’. If we combine this with practicing simply being present every day, then this can make the power of our compassionate presence grow exponentially”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Compassion isn’t always easy. Making room for compassion for others sometimes feels like a tall order, especially when we are struggling to find compassion for ourself. The article below explores how opening to compassion for others can sometimes be the best way to work with our own pain and stress.

In the spirit of compassionate presence,

Toby

 

 

Compassionate presence, awakened action

Compassion isn’t always easy. Making room for compassion for others sometimes feels like a tall order, especially when we are struggling to find compassion for ourself, and to bear the burden of our own stress and wounds. I want to start by inviting an awareness that sometimes (not at all times), opening to compassion and compassionate action toward the world, can actually be the best way to help change our own experience. As Robin Wall Kimmerer says:

‘Action on behalf of life transforms. Because the relationship between self and the world is reciprocal, it is not a question of first getting enlightened or saved and then acting. As we work to heal the earth, the earth heals us.’

So, it’s always worth making room for others in our world-view. Its not just sacrificing ourself or ‘being good’, it is an intelligent, wise way of getting by!

Using our own pain
One of the simplest ways to work on transforming our own pain is to use it as a doorway to compassion:

  • If you are suffering from loneliness, you can imagine the millions, or even billions who share this experience in the world. You can find examples in your own life of people you know
  • Your physical sickness can open you to the awareness of the worse and more permanent experience of others
  • Work stress? Oppressive colleagues or bosses? You can bet there are many others who have the same and worse, and you can probably find examples in your own close circle of influence.

If you stopped to think in this way, what would be the main challenges of your own that you can start to mindfully use to develop your compassion for others?

Doing what you can in the face of the limitless
In terms of acting upon your compassionate awareness and impulse, it can feel a bit intimidating. In Mahayana Buddhism, the vow of the Bodhisattva is as follows:

‘However many living being there are, I vow to liberate them all (from their suffering),
However many delusions I have, I vow to conquer them all.
However many spiritual truths there are, I vow to Master them all.’

Well, that can feel like an overwhelming amount to do! One of the best ways to deal with this issue is simply though presence and attention to the presenting circumstances. As Nkosi Johnson says:

“Do what you can,
with what you’ve been given,
in the place where you are,
with the time that you have.”

Ask yourself the question: ‘In this moment, today, what opportunity is there for me to act compassionately and do what can be done to reduce the pain and suffering of others and myself? What can be done, with what I have at my disposal, where I am now, in this moment?’

Awakened, compassionate presence
Often the best response to suffering is presence. To witness and acknowledge the pain in front of us enables us to

  • See it and act if there is something we can do
  • If there is nothing we can do, then sometimes simply acknowledging that we see the pain of others can help them. As a friend of mine the other day said to me ‘Thanks Toby, this helps a lot’. All I had done was say that I saw what his pain, and I believed that in the long term the things that he was going through were forging and forming him, rather than defeating him, and that although he could not see it yet, he was becoming someone stronger than he could imagine!

Compassionate presence comes from practice + life experience
As your life experience unfolds, often your compassion for others increases because you can relate to them more as you ‘know how they feel’. If we combine this with practising simply being present every day, then this can make the power of our compassionate presence grow exponentially. For example, simply practicing ten minutes of my meditation on ‘Sitting like a mountain’ from last week’s article, we can anchor our compassion more deeply in this moment, and in the centre of our being, even as the storms and floods of our life come and go.

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

August 5th, 6th, 7th, 2-4pm – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three day course

These sessions are specifically designed to help teens develop their real inner skills that help them be:

  • More effective at achieving their chosen goals
  • Build confidence,
  • Build resilience around stress and
  • Increase their capacity for fun and enjoyment as they learn.

Read full details…

Saturday August 21st 9.30-11.30am – Mindfulness for Emotional Intelligence Masterclass

In a sentence: Learn how you can use mindfulness to develop your emotional range and skills

Much of our quality of life depends not so much on what we are experiencing, but the way in which we experience it. Our moods and emotional states to a large degree define the quality of our life experience, at work, in our relationships and in our leisure activities. This masterclass will lead you on an experiential journey to:

  • Understand what feelings, moods and emotions are and how to build an effective relationship to them
  • How to consolidate and expand your existing emotional strengths
  • How to deal with difficult and challenging emotions, and even turn them to your advantage
  • How to increase the diversity/range of emotions that are available to you for enjoyment, pleasure and life-effectiveness! Read full details…

 

Saturday August 28th, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life Workshop

Overview: The Tree of Life is an ancient and comprehensive system of meditation, personal development and inner growth represented by the diagram of a tree. Although it is best known as a ‘western’ tradition of spiritual growth (Judaist, Christian, Islamic), the fundamentals of the Tree of Life practice can be found in different ancient systems of meditation and mindfulness throughout the world. This workshop is a practical introduction to how to meditate with the Tree of Life in order to:

  • Stimulate holistic and integrated inner growth
  • Consciously develop different levels and states of consciousness in meditation, and learn how to transition or journey between them in the inner world
  • Stimulate the development of your creative, imaginal and visualization skills
  • Make systematic, organized contact with guides, teachers, healing forces and archetypal energies within the inner world
  • Practice different types of meditation to build different strengths, and help you deal with different inner challenges…read full details

 

The Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

  • Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
  • Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
  • Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner. Read full details

Watch Toby’s video on the Program

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts 6th&7th July – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Saturday 17th, 24th, 31st July, 2-4pm – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three week
course

Saturday August 21st 9.30-11.30am – Mindfulness for Emotional Intelligence Masterclass

Saturday August 28th, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life Workshop

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Concentration creative imagery Enlightened Flow Inner vision Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Breathing Mindfulness Presence and being present Primal Spirituality Zen Meditation

Zen Mountains, Zen Doorways

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article outlines two simple meditation techniques. ‘Zen mountain’ is a sitting form that I have been using in the recent Zen series as a basic practice.

In the spirit of  mountains and doorways,

Toby

 

 

 

Zen mountains, Zen doorways

This article outlines two simple meditation techniques. ‘Zen mountain’ is a sitting form that I have been using in the recent Zen series as a basic practice. ‘Zen doorways’ is a method to use in daily life to increase your sense of presence, and appreciation for what is available to you in each moment.

Sitting like a mountain
Sink your centre or gravity down into the belly & hips – Sitting comfortably with a straight back, as you breathe in, be aware of any tension in the upper body; head, face, neck, shoulders. As you breathe out, release the tension down into your belly and hips, so that you are lowering the centre of gravity in your torso down into your belly.

Breathe from the bottom of your lungs, focus on your belly – As you begin your inhalation, send the air down into the bottom of the lungs, so that you are filling them from the bottom up. If you do this you will notice the belly moving out a centimeter or two as you inhale, and moving back to resting position as you exhale.

Imagine your body like a mountain, broad at the hips and narrow at the top – Feel your torso to be tremendously stable and solid. If you like you can even imagine your body as a mountain that you know, so that you really get a feeling of it being like a mountain. If you want to take the image a stage further, imagine your belly as a cave in the heart of the mountain as you feel it moving.
Let your mind gradually settle as you focus your attention on your belly-breathing and mountain-like body.

Zen doorways
Each time you walk through a doorway, take breath, and breathe yourself into the present moment, with an appreciation of what the present moment is offering you at that particular time.
Another nice variation on this is, each time you pass through a doorway, imagine that you are in your Zen retreat, say, passing under the branch of a tree, stepping on pine needles, or through the temple doorway. This way every time you go thru a door, you take yourself back to the Spirit of Zen using your creative imagination.

Related article: Body-Mountain, Cloud-Thought, Sky-Mind

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

 

 

August 5th, 6th, 7th, 2-4pm – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three day course

These sessions are specifically designed to help teens develop their real inner skills that help them be:

  • More effective at achieving their chosen goals
  • Build confidence,
  • Build resilience around stress and
  • Increase their capacity for fun and enjoyment as they learn.

Read full details…

The new Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

  • Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
  • Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
  • Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner

Read full details

Watch Toby’s video on the Program

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts 6th&7th July – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Saturday 17th, 24th, 31st July, 2-4pm – Mindful Life-skills for Teenagers – A three week course

August details coming soon!

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership

Meditating with your parental self

“If we are already, or have aspirations to be an outer parent, needless to say the better our relationship to inner parenting we have, the more equipped we are to be a competent outer parent”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on how to start working with the psychological sub-personality known as the ‘inner parent’. Its something that we focus on quite extensively in my Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program.

In the spirit of inner parenting,

Toby

Meditating with your parental self

Who is your parental self?
The mature adult or parental-self (for this article let’s consider them the same, although they can be distinguished) is that part of your psyche that embodies the mature ego. It is able to bear responsibilities in life, knows how to plan for the future, and to nurture and protect the lower levels of self (child and youth), ideally with a balance of firmness and love

Why is it important to get to know this part of yourself?
From the above definition we can see that our parental self is vital for living a fulfilling, healthy life. We need it to navigate problems, set goals (and stick to them), interact with others successfully, and look after other aspects of our inner psyche, principally our inner child.
If we are already or have aspirations to be an outer parent, needless to say the better our relationship to inner parenting we have, the more equipped we are to be a competent outer parent!

Two aspects or dimensions of our parental self
Like our outer parents, our inner parent has two dimensions, or aspects; the mother and father. Here is a bit more detail on them (Definitions taken from Nathaniel Branden, the Six Pillars of Self Esteem, page 265ff):
The mother-self is the component of the psyche containing an internalization of the personality, perspective, and values of an individual’s mother (or older female “mother figures” who had an influence and impact during childhood. We are dealing with the individual and historical, not the generic or universal “Mother”. (This is very different from Transactional Analysis’s generic “parent ego-state. Mother and Father are both parents, but they are very different and should not be treated as a psychological unit; they often send very different messages and have very different attitudes and values.)
The father-self is the component of the psyche containing an internalization of the personality, perspective, and values of an individual’s father (or older male “father figures” who had an influence and impact during childhood.)
Our parental selves are a psychic reality, that we are interacting with all the time, it’s just a matter of whether we are doing it consciously or unconsciously. The exercises below offer a few pointers for getting started.

Free association on your parental selves.
Bring to mind the words ‘my mother self’ or ‘my father self’ (choose one or other at a time initially). Holding it within your awareness allow your mind to start to free –associate feelings, images, memories, thoughts, desires and actions/activities with your mother or father-self. At this stage the main thing is to focus on being curious as to what sort of memories, feelings and so on arise when you contemplate the idea of your mother or father self. Whether these feelings and memories are pleasant or unpleasant is secondary, the main thing is simply to see what comes up without editing any of the content.
After a while ask yourself the question “What does my mother or father-self look like?” Allow your mind to build an image of your mother and father-self; s/he may simply be an image of yourself as a mature adult of a certain age, but equally s/he may be different from your literal, historical mature adult-self in some way; for example, s/he may resemble one of your parents or other adult role models that you have had.

Asking opinions and perspectives
Once you have a visual on both your inner parents, you can start getting to know them; their opinions, perspectives and how they function. You can start to discern which parts of them are working well and are healthy, and which parts are dysfunctional and in need of healing. Together with them you can create an inner parental self that is consistent, can be relied upon and is both firm and loving to your child self.

Related article: Meditating with your inner child

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

This masterclass teaches six complementary breathing techniques that will help you:

  • Connect to your body’s natural intelligence and capacity to move towards balance and harmony
  • Release stress and tension on progressively deeper levels
  • Combine relaxation with sustainably higher energy levels
  • Make your life and activities into a ‘flow’ state
  • Develop systematically deeper states of physical, psychological and spiritual concentration
  • Reduce over active thinking and cultivate stillness
  • Cultivate breathing patterns that are conducive to physical health and well-being

Read full details…

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation
The Summer Solstice (Called by the Celts ‘Alban Hefin’, or ‘the Light of Summer’) is the high point of summer in the northern hemisphere, the point of the Suns maximum power in the year, & the longest day. It is a good time to attune the life-force in the earth & creative energies within ourselves. We will be taking the time to get in touch with our own inner power, solar confidence & expressive self.

At the summer solstice, we can think about the autumn & winter periods that lie ahead of us, what our goals & expectations are, & sow the seeds on an inner level of the things that we wish to manifest over the next few months.
Full details…


Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

In a sentence: Learn how to work creatively with uncertainty, imperfection and life’s inherent messiness to realize your leadership and self-leadership potential.  Manage stress and anxiety better using mindfulness in combination with the practical philosophy of Wabi-Sabi.
Principle aspects of Wabi-Sabi include:

  • An appreciation of the beauty of the impermanent, the imperfect and incomplete
  • A recognition of the value of humility
  • A willingness to engage with the unconventional

Read full details…

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

10% early bird offer: Up until the 22nd June SGD$765 (Course price $850)

Overview: This is a weekend, three-session dynamic mindfulness program designed for:

  • Those looking for an engaged, practical mindfulness course designed to build resilience, effectiveness and wellness in the face of work and life challenges
  • Trainers, coaches and therapists looking to integrate mindfulness into their own professional practice with clients
  • People who have been through basic conventional mindfulness training programs and are looking for the next level of practice and performance

The essential content of the course is ten separate but interlinked mindfulness meditation practices…
Read full details

The new Mindful Self Knowledge coaching program

This is eight-month coaching program with Toby is designed to facilitate your own personal mindful self-discovery process. It focuses on:

  • Awareness of how your past experience has influenced who and how you are today
  • Confidence in approaching your present experience with playful fullness and enthusiasm
  • Giving you the inner tools to face your choices and your future in an empowered, dynamic, and authentic manner

Read full details

Watch Toby’s video on the Program:

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Wednesday – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight Inner vision Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Presence and being present spiritual intelligence The Essential Meditation of the Buddha Zen Meditation

Liberation from the seeking mind

“Stop seeking and practice arriving“

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks at meditation as a type of non-seeking through which you can find inner liberation. Its a practice that I enjoy tremendously myself!

The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists in July is now no longer on a 20% early bird offer, but you can still pick it up at a 15% early bird price.
And heads up for the  Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass on the 19th!

In the spirit of liberation, ,

Toby

Liberation from your seeking mind

Observing your seeking
If you watch the patterns of movement in your mind, you will start to notice that it is almost always seeking for something:

  • Seeking relief from boredom or loneliness
  • Seeking validation
  • Seeking pleasure
  • Seeking solutions
  • Seeking relief from insecurity
  • Seeking worth or to be complete
  • Seeking to know or find

All of these types of seeking are natural for us, and to a degree healthy, but they are also one of the primary causes of our anxiety, stress and exhaustion. If our seeking is compulsive, neurotic, or if we are never able to put it down, peace of mind and calm become very difficult.

Liberation from what?
In the great wisdom traditions, and certainly the Buddhist tradition that I was initially trained in, it is the discontented, neurotic seeking mind that we are trying to find liberation from. If we can become free from the seeking mind, and the desires associated with, then we become inwardly free. This liberation does not mean that we never have any desires ever again, but it indicates a change in the power balance. Rather than being run by our seeking and desiring, we are able to choose to engage or dis-engage our seeking mind at will. We learn how to abide in a state of non-seeking, or ‘arriving’ . In this state we experience ourself and our world as complete and fulfilled. When we rest in this state calmly and freely, we experience inner liberation.

Stopping seeking and practicing arriving
So the basic meditation practice here is to ‘stop seeking and practice arriving’. Sitting quietly, you watch your seeking mind for a short while, and then you put it down, and let it rest. You practice going no-where and seeking no-thing. You start to notice and sink deeper into the inner freedom and completeness of your non-seeking mind.

A place to sit
Inwardly as you start meditating if you like you can imagine yourself sitting in a place within nature, or in a holiday resort that you have been to and enjoy. The point about this is to get your body, mind and heart more ‘in the mood’ to stop seeking and really relax.

Returning to seeking with appetite and pleasure
If you can drop your seeking mind, then the pleasure, relaxation and ease that come from non-seeking then means that you can return to your everyday seeking and fulfilling activities with pleasure, appetite and joy. If seeking is an addiction, it becomes exhausting and dis-empowering, but if we do it volitionally and consciously it becomes a balanced complement to non-seeking.

Related Article: Just tea/solve no problem

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

This masterclass teaches six complementary breathing techniques that will help you:

  • Connect to your body’s natural intelligence and capacity to move towards balance and harmony
  • Release stress and tension on progressively deeper levels
  • Combine relaxation with sustainably higher energy levels
  • Make your life and activities into a ‘flow’ state
  • Develop systematically deeper states of physical, psychological and spiritual concentration
  • Reduce over active thinking and cultivate stillness
  • Cultivate breathing patterns that are conducive to physical health and well-being

Read full details…

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation
The Summer Solstice (Called by the Celts ‘Alban Hefin’, or ‘the Light of Summer’) is the high point of summer in the northern hemisphere, the point of the Suns maximum power in the year, & the longest day. It is a good time to attune the life-force in the earth & creative energies within ourselves. We will be taking the time to get in touch with our own inner power, solar confidence & expressive self.

At the summer solstice, we can think about the autumn & winter periods that lie ahead of us, what our goals & expectations are, & sow the seeds on an inner level of the things that we wish to manifest over the next few months.
Full details…


Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

In a sentence: Learn how to work creatively with uncertainty, imperfection and life’s inherent messiness to realize your leadership and self-leadership potential.  Manage stress and anxiety better using mindfulness in combination with the practical philosophy of Wabi-Sabi.
Principle aspects of Wabi-Sabi include:

  • An appreciation of the beauty of the impermanent, the imperfect and incomplete
  • A recognition of the value of humility
  • A willingness to engage with the unconventional

Read full details…

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

Early bird offer: Up until the 7th June SGD$680 (Course price $850)

Overview: This is a weekend, three-session dynamic mindfulness program designed for:

  • Those looking for an engaged, practical mindfulness course designed to build resilience, effectiveness and wellness in the face of work and life challenges
  • Trainers, coaches and therapists looking to integrate mindfulness into their own professional practice with clients
  • People who have been through basic conventional mindfulness training programs and are looking for the next level of practice and performance

The essential content of the course is ten separate but interlinked mindfulness meditation practices…
Read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Wednesday – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Motivation and scope Presence and being present Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

Transforming worry to wise concern

“Cultivate feelings of confidence and self-trust around your problems, and think about them from this position, rather than intimidation and rumination”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What would it take to transform your worrying to wise concern? This weeks article explores a few practical pointers!

Full details of all sessions in June are below, as well as the next The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists in July, which is on special early bird offer until 7th June!.

In the spirit of wise concern,

Toby

Transforming worry to wise concern

What would it take to transform your worrying to wise concern? Here are a few thoughts and mindful pointers

Worry – thinking about your problems without confidence
When we feel intimidated and oppressed by our problems and concerns we tend to fall into the anxious, repetitive patterns of thinking, feeling and acting that we know as worrying. It’s not particularly pleasant, and often it doesn’t help us a huge amount. Sometimes we worry because we lack confidence in ourself, but also the more we worry, often the less confident we feel about ourselves. It can be a vicious circle.

Faith in yourself, faith in life’s process
So a part of transforming your worry into wise concern is to develop confidence, faith and trust in your ability to meet your problems well, and that a solution is very possible. This is partly an attitude that you can practice that then in turn becomes a habit. We can approach this from a mental/psychological perspective, and a somatic one:

Mental/Psychological: Rumination as opposed to directed, creative thinking
When we are worried, not confident and feeling intimidated by our problems, often we ruminate. To ruminate means to think in a low quality, repetitive way about what we are going through. It leaches our energy and often takes us no closer to a solution. Wise concern seeks to think creatively and intelligently about the presenting issue, and knows when to stop thinking for now and accept that nothing more can be done for the time being.

Somatic: Your stomach; seat of power or seat of worry?
In Taoist philosophy and meditation the seat of our worrying in the body is the stomach. Our solar plexus chakra, which is in very close proximity to our stomach is our centre of power and confidence. So it can be quite interesting to explore this area of our torso, which is right in its central zone, in order to process our feelings of worry in the body, and also to see if we can mindfully impose a feeling of strength and calm in this central space.

Wise concern  – Dwelling upon your problems without feeling intimidated by them
In conclusion:

  • Notice and extend care and concern to the parts of us that worry and are worried
  • Cultivate feelings of confidence and self-trust around your problems, and think about them from this position, rather than intimidation and rumination
  • Think deliberately with wise concern about your challenges, rather than ruminating
  • Explore and cultivate a feeling of comfort, confidence and power in the stomach and solar plexus zones of the body, and notice how this changes the way in which you process your challenges and problems!

Related article: Plan more, worry less!

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

 

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

This masterclass teaches six complementary breathing techniques that will help you:

  • Connect to your body’s natural intelligence and capacity to move towards balance and harmony
  • Release stress and tension on progressively deeper levels
  • Combine relaxation with sustainably higher energy levels
  • Make your life and activities into a ‘flow’ state
  • Develop systematically deeper states of physical, psychological and spiritual concentration
  • Reduce over active thinking and cultivate stillness
  • Cultivate breathing patterns that are conducive to physical health and well-being

Read full details…

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation
The Summer Solstice (Called by the Celts ‘Alban Hefin’, or ‘the Light of Summer’) is the high point of summer in the northern hemisphere, the point of the Suns maximum power in the year, & the longest day. It is a good time to attune the life-force in the earth & creative energies within ourselves. We will be taking the time to get in touch with our own inner power, solar confidence & expressive self.

At the summer solstice, we can think about the autumn & winter periods that lie ahead of us, what our goals & expectations are, & sow the seeds on an inner level of the things that we wish to manifest over the next few months.
Full details…


Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

In a sentence: Learn how to work creatively with uncertainty, imperfection and life’s inherent messiness to realize your leadership and self-leadership potential.  Manage stress and anxiety better using mindfulness in combination with the practical philosophy of Wabi-Sabi.
Principle aspects of Wabi-Sabi include:

  • An appreciation of the beauty of the impermanent, the imperfect and incomplete
  • A recognition of the value of humility
  • A willingness to engage with the unconventional

Read full details…

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

Early bird offer: Up until the 7th June SGD$680 (Course price $850)

Overview: This is a weekend, three-session dynamic mindfulness program designed for:

  • Those looking for an engaged, practical mindfulness course designed to build resilience, effectiveness and wellness in the face of work and life challenges
  • Trainers, coaches and therapists looking to integrate mindfulness into their own professional practice with clients
  • People who have been through basic conventional mindfulness training programs and are looking for the next level of practice and performance

The essential content of the course is ten separate but interlinked mindfulness meditation practices…

Read full details

 

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Ongoing Tues/Wednesday – Meditations for physical, emotional & environmental health & regeneration – A 7-week course

Saturday 19th June, 9.30-11.30am – Deep dive breathing meditation masterclass

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd June, 7.30-8.30pm – Summer solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Saturday 26th June, 2-5.30pm – Wabi-Sabi mindfulness – The art of creative leadership and self-leadership workshop

Weekend of 9,10,11th July – The Integral Mindfulness Program for Coaches, Counselors & Therapists – Creating sustainable high performance and & wellness

 

Categories
A Mind of Ease Awareness and insight Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership

Resilience thru acceptance – matching your expectation with your reality

“The tension between our expectation and our reality, unless addressed continuously wears down our energy and resilience in a way that is absolutely avoidable”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks Tuesday and Wednesday classes will be meditations on resilience. In the article below I give some practical pointers for developing resilience by learning to match your expectations with your reality.

A reminder of this Saturday’s meditation mini-retreat; Mindfulness meditation for mastering & stilling the mind  on Saturday. If you are really master your ability to still your mind, then this is the session to go for!

In the spirit of resilience,

Toby

 

Resilience thru acceptance – matching your expectation with your reality

If we take a working definition of resilience as the ability to bounce back quickly from setbacks and obstacles (or apparent setbacks and obstacles), then what are the most important things to be aware of to get good at it? In this article I’m going to be exploring the role of empowered acceptance in competent resilience.

The gap that wears you down continuously
The gap I am pointing to here is the gap between how you want things to be and how things are. This tension between expectation and reality, unless addressed continuously wears down our energy and resilience in a way that is avoidable.
Here are three simple examples of how we can close this gap using acceptance.

How the night will go
Over the last 10 months i have been living with interrupted sleep due to my baby daughter. If I have a few nights where she sleeps quite well, then I start to have the expectation that this coming night will go a certain way. Of course, my baby’s sleep pattern changes. If it changes for the worse, and I go into the night expecting an easy night, then when I have a more interrupted night I will naturally become irritated. This is because my expectation (“I should be getting this much sleep”) no longer matches the reality. Much of the friction and frustration I experience now comes from the ‘gap’ between my expectation and reality. So, the movement here is to recognize and accept that the pattern has changed, and that things wont be so easy for tonight. If I can do this, my expectation and reality now match, and I can simply focus on dealing with what IS!

How the business should be going
If I go on a good run in my coaching business, accumulating clients and gigs with little effort, then I can start to have the expectation that this will be how things are permanently. If for whatever reason this changes, then a gap can appear between my expectation and reality. “It should be easy to get clients and gigs, I shouldn’t be having to try so hard!” (Notice when the experience/reality gap appears, we start to use the words should and shouldn’t a lot!). If I can accept that the landscape has changed, and that I need to come up with new strategies, then the expectation vs reality gap disappears, and I can simply focus on what needs to be done.

Acceptance leads to harmony and energy saving
Form the above examples I hope you can start to see that mindful acceptance leads to a harmonization of ourself with our reality, where we are no longer wasting energy resisting what is.

Acceptance leads to empowered action
when we are no longer resisting what is, then our energy and intelligence is then free to spring into action to be constructive and pro-active about the presenting challenge. We can create and innovate in the face of impermanence and change, and enjoy the good feeling that comes from being more adaptable and effective.
From this I hope you can begin to see how acceptance leads to resilience and winning the long game. Then the question is, what are the domains in your life where there is a expectation/reality gap? If you can identify two or three of these, and start working with mindful acceptance in them, you can start to make a noticeable difference on your own resilience focusing in these domains.

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 17th April, 2.15-5.15pm –Mindfulness meditation for mastering & stilling the mind Mini-retreat
In a sentence: Develop the mindful skills that will enable your mental health and wellbeing to thrive, and how to still and focus our mind. Make your mind a source of quiet confidence & cease feeling overwhelmed by mental over-activity and busyness.

Overview: Would you like to:

  • Develop ways of working with your mind that will enable it and you to thrive?
  • Learn how you can connect to an inner stillness that is able to withstand the stresses and strains of your daily life, helping you stop feeling mentally & emotionally overwhelmed?
  • Feel as if you are in control of your mind, rather than it controlling you?

Read full write up…

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday/Wednesday evening February 23rd/24th – Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course

Saturday 17th April, 2.15-5.15pm – Mindfulness meditation for mastering & stilling the mind – Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Concentration creative imagery Energy Meditation Inner vision meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience

Creating singularity through imagination

“To create singularity, strongly imagine that the past and future have ceased to exist, or have disappeared. All that remains is our experience of the immediate present; what appears to our senses, and the sensations on the body”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What if you were able to bring the energy of your body-mind into a focused, singular whole at will? What opportunities and possibilities might that open up for you? This weeks article  focuses on how we can start to do just that through meditation.

Quick heads-up for next weeks Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation, and if you know someone looking for a beginners meditation workshop then I’ve scheduled Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now (Live & Online) – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever for Saturday 10th April,
In the spirit of Singularity,

Toby

Creating singularity through imagination

As I often say, one of the main goals of meditation and mindfulness in any form is to create an integrated body-mind. Put another way it is to create a state where our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energy are in the same place at the same time, in this moment. The following are two techniques that I have been using in combination recently and have found to be particularly effective, both in mediation, when trying to sleep after having been woken, or when my mind has been scattered and I want to gather it again.

Dropping the past and future
The first technique begins as an act of imagination. We strongly imagine that the past and future have ceased to exist, or have disappeared. All that remains is our experience of the immediate present; what appears to our senses, and the sensations on the body. Whatever is still appearing mentally we just experience as a present moment phenomenon, rather than allowing it to create a movement into the past or future. In this way we gather our energy into the present moment, into a singularity where our body-mind are present to each other.

Breathing and relaxing from center
As you engage in the first technique, you may notice the energy in your physical body becoming quite uncomfortable, almost like your mental energy, that would normally be moving around elsewhere feels a little ‘trapped’.  If you then find the approximate physical center of your torso, (somewhere around the level between your heart and solar plexus) you can then use the following technique to relax into and sustain the integration of your body-mind:
As you breathe in, breathe your awareness and energy into the centre of your body. As you breathe out, relax from that centre point, feeling your energy flowing outwards. Flowing out towards the surface of your body, and out into your energy field surrounding you. Continue this pattern of breathing, inhaling into centre, exhaling relaxing from centre. Allow the energy of your body-mind to integrate together more comfortably.
An optional addition to this second technique is to imagine in the centre of your body (where you are breathing in and out of) there is a point of light and energy. Imagine that this point of light and energy is your fundamental life-force and consciousness. As you breathe in, see it glowing brightly with power and energy. As you breathe out, imagine that light and energy expanding from your core out into the rest of your body, harmonizing and calming your body-mind.

Combine the first and second techniques, using them to hold the energy of your body-mind in a state of integration and singularity in the present moment. You can rest in this state, gather your power in it, and then depart in a focused way to your next activity when you are ready.

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

In case you missed it: Representing your values – Mindful self-trust

The feeling of trust invites integrity – The more we are able to access the innate feeling of trusting ourself, the more relaxed and confident we will then tend to feel about our ability to represent ourself and our values consistently and capably; we feel we are in integrity with ourself. It becomes a mutually enhancing circle of integrity and trust that we can use to feel energised and enthusiastic about our life, even and particularly when we are under pressure or navigating uncertainty.
Read full article…

Saturday 27th March, 10.30-12.30 & 2-5pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence Master class & retreat

In a sentence: Learn how you can effectively defend yourself from negative people, energies and places outside of yourself, as well as the fears and problematic emotions that you feel present within yourself using simple & specific mindfulness & meditation techniques.

Overview:

  • How can I keep myself strong, directed & happy when other people around me are negative, unhappy or even consciously or unconsciously verbally/psychologically attacking me?
  • When I am under stress and can feel my own negativity, anxiety, depression, anger & so on surfacing, how can I defend myself effectively?

Read full details

Tues 23rd & Weds 24th March – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditationThe Spring Equinox in the northern hemisphere marks the mid-point between the cooler, darker seasons of the year and the lighter, warmer ones. The forces of day and night, light and dark are of equal strength. As such it represents time to emphasize balance and harmony, both in our life and meditation practice.

It is also good time to attune the life-force in the earth and creative energies within ourselves. We will be taking the time to get in touch with the new ideas, energies and creativity within ourselves as they emerge like new plants and flowers in spring…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday/Wednesday evening February 23rd/24th – Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course

Saturday 27th March, 10.30-12.30 & 2-5pm  – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence Master class & retreat

Tues 23rd & Weds 24th March – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Tues 30th & Weds 31st March – Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday 10th April, 3-4.30pm – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now (Live & Online) – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Saturday 17th April 11.30am-1.30pm & 2.15-5.15pm – Mindfulness meditation for mastering & stilling the mind – Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Enlightened service Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope

Self-responsibility – Becoming a self-determining entity

Dear Integral Meditators,

What is the link between mindfulness and self-responsibility? This weeks article explores the interface of these two.

In the spirit of self-determination,

Toby

 

 

 

 

Self-responsibility – Becoming a self-determining entity

We are surrounded by forces that are attempting to move us in one direction or another, capture our attention, stimulate desire, take our energy. We can experience this directly these days by going on our phone: Social media competes with email and Whatsapp for our attention. Advertisers seek to get our attention to buy their products. Often we go on our phone with one intention, but end up doing another thing! Of course, it’s not just our phone where this happens. Cultural and social forces place pressure upon us to conform, as does peer pressure and the fear of missing out. Amidst all of this what we really want, what will really make us happy, what we really seek to achieve can get completely lost amidst the distraction.
One if the things I find most inspiring about mindfulness is that it enables me to take charge of direction and action in my life. It enables me to become what Nathaniel Branden called a ‘Self-determining entity’.  What this means is someone who controls their destiny and direction, someone who is organised enough to stay focused on the face of distractions. In short, someone who is taking responsibility for their life.

Awareness and acceptance
Before we talk about being responsible, in mindfulness terms we need to talk about becoming more aware and accepting. It’s difficult to take responsibility for our life if we lack rudimentary self and environmental awareness, and if we are continually fighting with our reality rather than accepting it. You can read a bit more about these in my previous articles on self-awareness and acceptance.

What am I responsible for?
One simple guiding question I ask myself a lot is “What is it that I am responsible for in this situation?” I try to discern the things that I need to grasp and direct. For example, I am primarily always responsible for the care of my emotions, thoughts, and physical body. Other people can help and assist, but it is my responsibility. In a team context I need to know what my role is, and what I am responsible for communicating. Questioning in this way helps me to grasp and own responsibility for what is mine.

What am I not responsible for?
A second and often equally important question I ask is “What am I not responsible for here?“, or “What is the responsibility of others here?” Quite often without realizing it we take on responsibility for the problems, emotions and tasks of others without realizing we have done so. For example, I need to be there to support my daughter and what she is going through, but if I try and solve all her problems for her, I am actually denying her opportunities for growth and self-knowledge.
Also, some people are actively (tho often unconsciously) looking to evade responsibility for their challenges, and to push them onto someone else. We can easily find ourselves wrestling with and having our energy taken away by things that are, quite simply not our responsibility.

What do I need to take responsibility for today?
Think about what you face today, or over the next 24 hours. Mindfully frame it within the context of self-responsibility. What is your responsibility to own/solve/carry, and what is not? Your journey to responsible self-empowerment begins today.

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Watch Toby’s short video on taking responsibility: 

 

Saturday 6th & 20th February – Meditations on the Language of Your Shadow – Masterclass and Mini-retreat

Are you interested in learning a form of meditation that will:

  • Help you to get in touch with a deeper level of psychological harmony and wellbeing within yourself?
  • Access new levels of energy and confidence?
  • Discover and heal hidden aspects of your psyche that are currently sabotaging your happiness in daily life and transforming them into something useful and powerful within you?

Read full details

Tuesday 9th & Wednesday 10th February – Lunar New Year Meditation 2020: Developing your stamina, willpower and self-confidence in the year of the Ox This is a meditation to welcome in the lunar new year energies, and attune to the astrological animal of the year, the Ox!
In particular, we will be mindfully aligning with and developing our inner-stamina, willpower and self-confidence, which are personal characteristics of the Ox.
Toby will be leading the meditation as a simple and profound way, with plenty of room for our own personal contemplation, inner healing and positivity building!
Read full details
Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

 

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 2nd & Wednesday 3rd Feb, 7.30-8.30pm – Bright, Mother and Weaver Goddess meditation

Saturday 6th & 20th February – Meditations on the Language of Your Shadow – Masterclass and Mini-retreat

Tuesday 9th & Wednesday 10th February – Lunar New Year Meditation 2020: Developing your stamina, willpower and self-confidence in the year of the Ox

Starting February 23rd/24th – Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course (Full details soon)

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology