Category: Enlightened Flow

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Bare attention – developing your inner ‘bird-watcher’

“To practice bare attention means to put down our impulsive, ‘doing’ mindset (‘do this, do that’, ‘should, shouldn’t’, ‘must, mustn’t’) and rest in an observational, detached state of awareness.“

Dear Integral Meditators,

Some meditation and mindfulness practices get more complex as we become better at them. Others stay simple, but continue to grow in depth. The practice of bare attention explained below is an example of the latter, a simple practice that stays simple, but grows in depth.

In the spirit of mindful observation,
Toby

Bare attention – developing your inner ‘bird-watcher’

Bare attention is a foundational mindfulness practice. Its function is to provide us with a point of stability amidst the constant change and challenges of our daily life. It also provides us with a space within which we can observe what is going on reflectively and non-reactively, which in turn increases our ability to learn from our experiences as they are arise.
To practice bare attention means to put down our impulsive, ‘doing’ mindset (‘do this, do that’, ‘should, shouldn’t’, ‘must, mustn’t’) and rest in an observational, detached state of awareness.
Instead of identifying with what arises, we watch with curiosity in a non-judgmental manner.
When you are practising bare attention you are not so much concerned with whether what is arising is ‘positive’ or ‘negative’, rather you are simply concerned with maintaining your position as the observer.
To practice bare attention means to watch what comes up within the field of your awareness without adding or subtracting from it; without repressing and/or denying it, or indulging it or over identifying with it.

Your inner bird-watcher
When I was young and living in the Philippines, my father used to take my brother and I out into the jungle, up mountains and into swamps with his bird-watching friends to, well, spot birds! Most of the time was spent walking quietly and cautiously thought the landscape looking around intently. When we saw signs of bird life or found a good vantage point we would stop and watch for a while, trying as much as possible not to make noise or disturb the birds we were watching. By staying quiet like this we were able to watch the birds behaving naturally, as if we weren’t there. The key of course was not to move suddenly, or make noise, if we did that the birds flew away!

Practicum
So, practising bare attention is like becoming an ‘inner bird-watcher’. You simply take up your observing position and watch the field of your awareness closely with curiosity, trying not to get involved in what you see or disturb it. Your ‘field of awareness’ consists of your environment and senses, your bodily sensations and emotions, your mind, thoughts and memories. From your position as the ‘inner bird-watcher’ you watch this landscape with detached, non-judgmental attention. That is the essential practice.

If you do this regularly in your formal practice you will start to notice that your ability to maintain this position of bare attention under pressure in your daily life will increase. You will have access to a point of calm and stability even when experiencing strong emotions, physical discomfort, mental anxiety, or challenges from other people or your environment.

© Toby Ouvry 2017, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

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Images of renewal – The body-mind of a newborn

Dear Toby,

It’s the time at the end of one year and the beginning of the next, a good time to focus on our own inner renewal. The article below explores three simple images that we can use to move into a state of unity and renewal using the power of images and the imagination.

Wishing you all the very best for the turn of the year, and the beginning of 2017!

Toby

 

Images of renewal – The body-mind of a newborn

Can you coax your mind from its wandering
and keep to the original oneness?
Can you let your body become
supple as a newborn child’s? *

Much of the basic meditation experience involves creating a unified body-mind, where our mind, body and feelings are in the same place, at the same time. Below are three images that we can use in order to access this state of unified body-mind within ourself. Quite often if we use an image as our point of entry into meditation, it can help us achieve that state of meditative consciousness more quickly by engaging our imagination. When we engage our imagination with a meditation object, then its wanderings cease to become a distraction for us, because the force of our imagination is engaged in the experience of the meditative image it elf. In particular, the three images below are designed to facilitate an experience of renewal and regeneration that we can access during the day, either in a short 1-3 minute exercise, or enter more deeply into during a longer meditation.

The newborn child – Imagine you are a newborn child, resting at ease, perhaps wrapped in a blanket. Your body is completely relaxed. your mind is pure awareness, no thought or concept at all. Because your body is so completely relaxed, and your mind contains no thought, they are experienced as one; the sensory relaxation of the body and the non-moving nature of the mind come together in a state of unity or singularity. Spend a few moments entering into this experience with your imagination sampling what it is like, and noting the way in which your own, adult body-mind start to merge together into a unity quite naturally, and without effort.

The tree in the forest – Imagine a tree in a forest, it can be one you know and are familiar with if you like. Observe the tree in your mind’s eye, sensing its singularity, its deep rootedness and stability, its opening to the sky through its branches. Now imagine yourself as the tree; physically strong, no thought at all within its consciousness, completely at-ease with itself and its environment; all the processes in the tree are done with no thought; the water rises, the sunlight is absorbed, the branches bend in the trees, the birds come and go. The trees body and its consciousness are always one, always here.

The earth – Sense the earth beneath your feet, allow yourself to ‘sink’ down into it, so that perhaps you are about waist or chest deep. sense the vast body of both the earth’s physical mass beneath and around you, as well as the consciousness of the earth; her huge all-embracing presence. The consciousness of the earth and the body of the earth are unified, a single entity. All the thoughts and activities of the humans and other creatures are contained within the body-mind of the earth, but this activity is completely dwarfed and drowned out of your awareness by the overwhelming stability, singularity and presence of the earths unified body-mind; her deep presence. Now experience yourself as the earths unified body-mind; completely singular, strong and stable.

As a final stage to any of these meditations, return to an awareness of your own body-mind, and bring the feeling of unity into it, so that you are able to experience your own body-mind in a state of stability, unity and resilience.

Related article: Renewal

*Quote from Chapter 10 of the Tao te ching by Lao Tsu, Stephen Mitchell translation

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

3rd & 4th January – New year releasing and inviting meditation

Starts Tuesday and Wednesday January 10th/11th 2017 – Transformation through mindful intention –a three module meditation course

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings from November, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Ongoing Mondays & Thursdays – Morning integral meditation classes with Toby

Saturday January 14th, 2-5.30pm – Relaxing your way to enlightenment – Regenerative meditations for releasing stress & connecting to your primally awakened state

Saturday 21st January, 9.30am-1pm – The six Qi gong healing sounds: Qi gong for self-healing & inner balance workshop

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Relaxing your way to enlightenment

Dear Integral Meditators,

What is the relationship between relaxation and enlightenment? Is it possible to do both at the same time? The article below explains a mindfulness practice for doing just that; relaxing your way to an experience of your own enlightened nature!

In the spirit of the journey,

Toby

Relaxing your way to enlightenment

In the time before meditation and mindfulness became fashionable as a method for relieving stress, basically people practiced them to ‘become enlightened’, but what does that mean? One (not the only) central understanding of enlightenment is simply the capacity to recognize and identify with the state of formless, timeless, pristine consciousness that lies behind and supports both our sensory awareness and our thinking mind. On this level of self and experience we are simply consciousness itself. As such the primal consciousness that lies at the heart of you is the same as the same as the one that lies at the heart of me; we are all just different bodies and personalities sharing the same primal identity as consciousness itself.
For many of you the above paragraph might seem quite abstract, not necessarily something that you find easy to relate to on an experiential level. What I want to do here is to explain how to combine a simple, progressive relaxation technique with resting in your own enlightened nature, so that you can combine basic mindful stress relief and relaxation with the beginnings of enlightened awareness. It is really a very simple!

How to relax mindfully into your own enlightened nature using progressive muscle relaxation
Become aware of your physical body. Take an area of your physical body where you feel tension or fatigue. For a few seconds tense the muscles in that area of the body until they start to fatigue a little. Then release the muscles and relax your body as deeply as you can for a short while. As you are doing so, try and release the muscle tension as fully as you can, and simply rest in the state of pure consciousness that arises when you relax deeply like this. With part of your mind try and pay attention to this experience and recognize this absence of thought and mental activity as the experience of your own primal consciousness or enlightened nature. Go through your body, tensing and relaxing the muscles that are holding tension progressively. Tense the muscles, then relax them and really rest in the state of pure awareness and ‘letting go’ that you experience when you release the muscle tension.

Applying the technique to the mind and emotions
You can apply the same technique to your mind and emotions. For example, you can bring to mind some mental stress that you may be experiencing. Look for the feeling of that stress in your body. Having detected the area of the body where it is, tense the muscles in that area of the body as described above. When you release the muscles focus upon the releasing of the emotional and mental stress as well as the physical relaxation, then spend a while relaxing as deeply as you can in and into that space of open, spacious awareness.

If you do this regularly, over time you will become more physically and psychologically relaxed and gain the ability to deal with specific aspects of your own stress more effectively. You will also become more and more familiar with the experience of open, spacious consciousness beyond the thinking and sensory mind. This experience of consciousness itself can then act as the basis for building experiential intimacy with your own fundamentally enlightened nature. This practice is as easy to do as regular mindful progressive relaxation techniques, but is much more profound.

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings from November – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

Saturday 26th November 10am-5pm – Engaged Mindfulness day workshop/retreat

3rd December, 2-5pm – Mindful Resilience three hour workshop

Saturday December 10th 9.30am-12.30pm – An introduction to mindful walking & meditation workshop
Saturday December 10th 2pm-5.30pm – Living life from your inner center – Meditations for going with the flow of the present moment

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Becoming mindfully unfocused

“Becoming mindfully unfocused is a technique to use specifically to relax and regenerate the energy of your mind when it has been working hard and needs a break”

Dear Integral Meditators,

It’s tough to keep focused these days, when there are seemingly so many things demanding our attention. In the article below I explain a method that I use for regenerating my mental energy and willpower when they are feeling a little run-down…

In the spirit of soft focus,

Toby

Becoming mindfully unfocused

Becoming mindfully unfocused is a technique I use specifically to relax and regenerate the energy of my mind when it has been working hard and needs a break, or when I feel my willpower is low and needs to gather its strength. The short-term effect is the experience of feeling mentally and physically refreshed, but I also feel that in the long-game of aging over the years this type of method can help prolong the shelf-life and functioning of my mind, brain, willpower and nervous system.
To practice mindful non-focusing, sit or lie down in a comfortable position and take a few breaths to relax your body-mind and bring it into the present moment.
Then imagine that your brain has a kind of ‘sleep mode button’, that when you switch it, it goes into a kind of semi-sleep, semi-awake mode; you are still awake and aware, but most of the ‘thinking’ function of the brain has been shut down. It’s like you are asleep and awake at the same time. In this ‘sleep mode’ allow your body, mind and heart to relax as deeply as they can. Now allow your mind to become unfocused, in the same way that for example a movie camera dilates to a ‘soft focus’ where everything is slightly blurred, soft and indistinct.
At this point with your thinking brain in ‘sleep mode’ and your mind in ‘soft-focus mode’, simply work on relaxing into and sustaining that state of mindful non-focus. Allow it to help you rest your mind and regenerate your energy. The key is to apply just enough ‘effort ‘ to sustain this state of being mindfully unfocused. It is a little bit like having a nap, whilst at the same time increasing the capacity of your conscious mind to remain awake and attentive in a state of deep relaxation and ease.
A final point here is that this state of restful unfocused-ness is one that we are dipping in and out of unconsciousness at various times during the day, so this technique like many other mindful methods is a way of connecting to an already existing state of mind, using mindfulness to put it to positive use to our own ends.

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings from November – Tuesday Meditation Classes at One Heart with Toby (East coast)

19th November – One Heart Celebration Day (Joint event)

Saturday 26th November 10am-5pm – Engaged Mindfulness day workshop/retreat

3rd December, 2-5pm – Mindful Resilience three hour workshop

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Two types of choice-less awareness

Dear Integral meditators,

This weeks article focuses on two different ways of being mindful of your choice-making process.

In the spirit of choice-less awareness,

Toby

Two types of choice-less awareness

What is your current relationship to making choices in your life?

In traditional Buddhist mindfulness practice practicing ‘choice-less awareness’ means to witness whatever comes up in your field of awareness as a detached observer, without commenting, judging or getting involved in what arises. You are aware of what is arising without making any choices or trying to affect it; whatever is there is there; simply watch, observe and relax.
The fundamental benefit of this practice is that it gives you the peace of mind arising from being able to separate your ‘I’ from the contents of your consciousness. You are the owner of your thoughts, feelings and impulses, but you are not the thoughts, feelings and impulses.

Type two: Deliberate non-choosing
A second type of choice-less awareness involves simply deciding to abstain temporarily from making decisions and choices. The goal here is to deliberately set aside time where we make no choice or decision at all, simply resting in the circumstances that we find ourself in, and relaxing*.

The anxiety of being ‘caught between’ choices.
The reason for cultivating this second type of choice-less awareness is that much of our mental anxiety is created around our relationship to the decision-making process:

  • What is the right or best thing to do in this situation?
  • What if I make the wrong decision?
  • I don’t know what to do here
  • What if I am blamed for this?

If we are not careful we can spend a lot of our time in a state of low-grade anxiety, worrying about the dilemmas and choices in our life. For many of us this has become a habit to the extent that, even when we do make a choice that solves a problem, rather than deriving satisfaction from that, our attention simply seeks out another dilemma to worry about!

Stop your inner debate!
The idea with the mindful ‘non-choosing’ is to stop worrying by deliberately suspending our choice making capacity. This enables our mind to relax, regenerate its energy and return to sanity. To practice this as a sitting meditation, for the designated time you have set aside create a boundary; ‘For the next X minutes I will make no choices about my life, nor will I debate or weigh up issues. I will enjoy the simple pleasure of unburdening myself of my choice making responsibilities and being more present’.

Conscious choosing
The idea with conscious non-choosing is not that we don’t make choices at all, ever. Rather it is that that we develop the skill of temporarily putting down our choices in order to enjoy a more relaxed mind, better quality of life and reduce our anxiety.
The flip side of dropping our choices is to then spend the time when we are making choices in a more focused, mindful manner. We deliberately identify the important choices that we need to make today, this morning or in the next hour, and bring our full intelligence to that choice-making processes.
A good question to ask yourself to facilitate conscious choice-making is ‘what are the two most important choices that I need to make today?’ Identify the two choices that must get made today, and focus your intelligence on making them as well informed as possible!

Note from para 3* If we are doing this while engaged in some form of activity, for example walking, then we will obviously have to make small choices (to go left or right for example). The point here is to avoid our mind debating between two or more options in an abstract way. The immanent, small choices that we have to make in the moment (go left, go right) we can just make as required.

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Saturday 22nd October, 9.30am-12.30pm – Going From Over-whelmed to Over-well: Meditation for Quietening the Mind – a three hour workshop

Saturday 22nd October 2-5pm – Mindfulness & Movement session at the LifeChiro Center

Saturday November 12th, 10am-5pm – Meditations for connecting to the Tree of Life, and growing your own personal Life Tree

19th November – One Heart Celebration Day (Joint event)

Saturday 26th November 10am-5pm – Engaged Mindfulness day workshop/retreat

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Finding your neutral gear

Dear Integral Meditators,

What would happen if instead of your mind thinking all the time, you were able to find a ‘neutral gear’ that you could shift it into whenever you wanted or needed? This weeks article explores how to do this, and the value of it.

Quick reminder that my new book ‘Engaged Mindfulness‘ is still on special launch offer until the end of the month. You can find out about the book talks that I will be doing on it in September here.

In the spirit of the journey,

Toby

Finding your neutral gear

A car resting stationary and in neutral gear is the most inactive, or still that an engine can be whilst still being switched on.
‘Finding our neutral gear’ in mindfulness or meditation terms means to learn to relax our mind to the greatest degree that is possible whilst still being alert, awake and aware.
If you imagine you are in a car, perhaps waiting at a traffic lights. The engine is gently ticking over in neutral gear, expending as little energy as possible whilst remaining switched on. The engine is resting, but ready to go when the circumstances change. That is the type of state of mind that you are trying to cultivate when ‘finding your neutral gear’; you are alert and aware, but you your mind is as relaxed and inactive as it can be. It is resting deeply at ease, saving energy but ready to get into gear when circumstances change.

Recovering your psychological and physical energy in daily life
Recently I’ve been going thru an exciting and positive period of my life, traveling some, completing my first book project and other things. It’s been good but it has also been exhausting. Examples of when I use the ‘neutral gear’ technique to help me conserve and regenerate my energy include:

  • When I’m on a plane and can’t actually sleep (tall person, small seat etc….), but want to rest as deeply as I can
  • When driving or doing other mundane activities I consciously do no more than is required for the actual task at hand, and put the rest of my mind in neutral, regenerative mode
  • If I am awake at night and too wired to go to sleep immediately
  • When I feel emotionally sprangled

Neutral gear as a gateway to the unitive state
One basic way of understanding meditation is moving from a fragmented, diverse and busy state of mind to a unitive, whole and singular state of mind. When the neutral gear technique is done as a formal meditation it offers a very ergonomic, energy efficient route to this fundamental unitive meditative state.

Going from a neutral state to love
Once you have cultivated your fundamental unitive state, you may find (as I do) that sitting in a state of relaxed, neutral focus is only one short step away from a state of love. If you like you can bring to mind other people in your life as you are resting in your neutral gear, and just gently (in your mind’s eye) share this feeling of unity and wholeness with them as a gesture of love. This is a very simple and ergonomic way of building the basic experience of mindful love in yourself and in your relationships.

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia:

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (next class August 10th) – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

 

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Practical Rapture (On rapture, beauty and mindfulness)

Dear Integral Meditators,

Rapture is a state of mind and body that we all experience sometimes, the article below explores how we can build our experience of it through mindfulness, and then start putting it to use…

In the spirit of rapture,

Toby

Practical Rapture (On rapture, beauty and mindfulness)

Rapture –  a state or emotion of wonderment, bliss and heightened perception. A state of feeling deeply and primally connected to life and aliveness felt not just in the mind and heart, but in the body.

Peak rapture


We are all familiar to a greater or lesser degree with times when we have had a peak experience of rapture; when listening to music or contemplating art, in moments of new love or romance, in powerful landscape, when we are in a highly creative state, enthused by an idea or an ideal, the temporary peaks we dip into in good meditations. What are the moments in your life where you have felt most closely connected to a state of rapture? Memories like this are important for us to be mindful of as often they are powerful enough to re-trigger a little bit of that peak rapture in the moment we are in right now.

Everyday rapture


If we are mindful, we also start to notice that there are quiet invitations to rapture all around us; in the wind through trees, in the sight or a flower or cloudscape in the sky, in the feeling of comfort on our skin as we sit in a comfy chair. Rapture almost seems like the ‘hum’ of life that you can connect to anytime that you dip your awareness beneath the surface of your mind and what you are experiencing in the moment. To be in touch with your life and the feeling of being alive is to feel slightly blissful, slightly rapturous.

Accessing rapture through mindfulness


Mindfulness meditation by its nature invites us to dip below the surface of our attention, moving to deeper states of awareness that naturally contain some rapture. For example, within the forest monk tradition of breathing meditation there is a stage called ‘the beautiful breathing’. At this stage, which comes after achieving a certain level of competency focusing attention upon the breathing, the body starts to feel effortlessly comfortable, the breathing becomes smooth and even, and the mind moves toward a state of calm rapture. Once this is achieved, then we become able to access a feeling of quiet, everyday rapture at will, or at least more and more often in our daily life.

Thinking and acting from a place of rapture


You can cultivate your experience of rapture then by:

  • Being mindful of your past experiences of peak rapture, and the ones that come up for you in your daily life.
  • Noticing the everyday moments of rapture that are available to you whenever you take the time to notice them.
  • Cultivate a daily practice of mindfulness, where to learn to consciously dip into sustained states of calm rapture regularly.

One fun thing that you can then try doing is thinking and acting from a place of rapture, which is to say:

  • A place that is creative, playful and a little wild.
  • A place that is fulfilled in the moment.
  • A place that contains natural compassion.

Within the boundaries of what feels appropriate, try bringing your rapture mindfully into your everyday life, relationships and tasks. What might start to change in your life today if you did??

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia:

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm (next class August 10th) – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

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Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Mindful Mobility – Stepping in and out of the river

Dear Toby,

Building inner flexibility and mobility are really core parts of an integrated mindfulness practice, in the article below I explain two core practices for building mindful mobility.

In the spirit of mindful perspective taking,

Toby

Mindful Mobility – Stepping in and out of the river (& from self to other)

One of the fundamental skills that we are trying to develop as mindfulness practitioners is to be able to shift consciously from one perspective to another, and use these perspectives appropriately. In this article we will be exploring how to shift between subjective and objective perspectives, and between self and other.

Moving from subjective to objective; Stepping in and out of the river of your consciousness
Imagine your mind is like a river, with the stream of thoughts, images, memories and sensory impressions being like the water. Spend some time in the river ‘being the water’; as thoughts, emotions and feelings come up experience yourself as them; be the thought, feel the emotion as if you are the emotion, let your attention absorb into the senses. This is experiencing your mind subjectively, from the inside.
After a while imagine yourself ‘stepping out’ of the river of your consciousness onto the river bank. Spend some time watching your mind as an observer, as a witness; watching the river flow by with a clear gap between yourself and the ‘water’ of the thoughts, images, feelings and senses in your mind. Watch your mind like a scientist; this is mindfully watching your mind objectively, from the outside.
The aim of doing this practice is to be able to consciously shift ‘at will’ from observer to subject, from subject to observer. This then enables us to:

  • Enjoy our emotions, thoughts, feelings, memories, senses (etc…) fully by entering into them and ‘owning’ them
  • Detach from our experiences when we need to so that we can see them more clearly and make more objective decisions and rational choices

Moving from self to other and extending care
In this second exercise you imagine yourself with another person, or a group of people. It might be a situation where there is a little tension between yourself and the others for whatever reason.
Stage 1: The eyes of self – See yourself in the situation and view it through your eyes, from your subjective point of view. Experience what your point of view feels and sounds like. If you do this mindfully you may well become aware of aspects of your experience that you had not been aware of before!
Stage 2: Become a fly on the wall – Look at the situation and group from the outside for a while, as if you were a fly on the wall. This is like ‘stepping out of the river’ from the previous exercise; it gives you an objective, witnessing perspective.
Stage 3: Becoming other – Enter into the shoes and see through the eyes of the other person, or group or people. See the situation from their point of view, what do they see? How are they feeling? Why are they acting the way they act? Use your imagination to mindfully understand as far as possible where they are coming from.
Stage 4: Go back, extend care – At the end of this exercise, go back to seeing through the eyes of self (stage 1) and spend a while extending care to the other person/people based on the understanding of then you have gained in stage 3, ‘becoming other’. Back in ‘your shoes’ extend care, compassion and understanding to them.

These two exercises are ‘mindful mobility exercises’ that, if practiced regularly will greatly increase your mental flexibility and ‘range of motion’ as you go about your daily life, as well as having the basic side effect or most mindfulness practices; greater peace of mind and centered-ness.

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia:

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

July details out soon!

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Three levels of non-striving

“Step deeply into the feeling of non-striving; learn to move easily and smoothly with whatever it is you find within yourself”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Is it possible by letting go of our striving to then learn how to strive better? That is the topic of this weeks article!

Mindful goals coaching offer ends tomorrow, 8th June.

In the spirit of non-striving,

Toby


Three levels of non-striving

In a previous article on non-striving I defined non-striving as “a refusal to be in conflict with yourself and your life. Put another way, rather than seeing yourself in an adversarial relationship to yourself and your circumstances, you practice accepting and working with what is there”.
What I want to explain here is three levels of non-striving that we can work with in our mindfulness practice. These three stages are:

  1. Noticing your inner conflict and striving
  2. Practising non-striving
  3. Striving better

Noticing your inner conflict
This first stage is simply about awareness. You sit down and notice all of the tension, conflict and striving that you have within yourself at this point in time. Without trying to change it, simply notice the tension you may feel about a conversation you had earlier in the day, an unfinished project, an uncertainty that you can’t control, a mistake that you wish you hadn’t made and wish to rectify, something that you are looking forward to and can’t wait for, something that you are sad about and wish hadn’t happened. Simply breath and be present to all of the different types of conflict and striving you notice. Is there one above all of the others that is stronger and stands out? Perhaps, perhaps not.

Relaxing into non-striving
In this stage the object is to progressively drop the different levels of striving and conflict that you feel within yourself.
Take a few breaths to center yourself, then encourage yourself to move into a state of acceptance of yourself, what you find within you, and whatever circumstances you find yourself in. Alternate for a while between the breathing (to center and focus yourself) and entering into a state of easy, relaxed non-striving. With each round of breathing and relaxing, try and enter one step deeper into the feeling of non-striving; learn to move easily and smoothly with whatever it is you find within yourself. You can stay with stage two for as long as you like, it’s good to really immerse yourself in it deeply when you can.

Striving better
In stage one you practiced mindfully noticing the different types of conflict that you have in your life currently. In the second stage, non-striving, you practiced stepping out of that conflict refusing to be in an adversarial relationship to yourself, going with what you find with acceptance. In the final stage, ‘striving better’ you come back to the conflicts that you notice in stage one and ask yourself the question ‘is there any way I can strive better and more harmoniously in this situation?”

  • You might choose to strive more patiently with the project that is stressing you out
  • You might choose to make good for a mistake made without using the fact that you made it in the first place as a hammer that you keep hitting yourself over the head with
  • You might choose to emphasize being playful in a situation that you have been taking overly seriously

There are infinite potential discoveries that you might make and decide to focus on implementing at this stage, the point is that you are using your mindful intelligence to make the quality of your striving wiser, more ergonomic, more realistic.

By using these three stages we learn not just to relax by practising non-striving, but to combine our striving and non-striving into a mutually strengthening and re-enforcing whole. As always with integral mindfulness its ‘both/and’ rather than ‘either/or’!

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia:

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Saturday 11th June, 10am-5pm – An Introduction to Meditation from the Perspective of Shamanism

Saturday June 18th, 2.30-5.30pm – Meditation & Mindfulness for Creating a Mind of Ease, Relaxed Concentration and Positive Intention – An Introduction to Contemporary Meditation Practice

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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creative imagery Enlightened Flow Inner vision Integral Awareness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindfulness Presence and being present

Mindfulness of feelings – The principle of flow

Dear Integral Meditators,

In my writings on mindfulness I speak quite a lot about the principle of flow. In the article below I explore it with regard to mindfulness of our feelings, and how to create a healthy, self-cleansing emotional body by using a simple image and exercise.

In the spirit of the flowing river,

Toby

Mindfulness of feelings – The principle of flow

Picture a flowing river. Now imagine that some pollution gets dumped in that river. In the short term this will make the river dirty but, as long as the water keeps on flowing, then eventually the river will self-cleanse. Imagine that same pollution gets placed in a pond. In the case of the pond the pollution has nowhere to go because the water is not flowing, and so the water in the pond simply stays filthy.
It’s the same with your emotions; if you are mindfully feeling and experiencing your emotions every day, then you are allowing them to flow so that, even if some of those feelings are negative, then it doesn’t matter too much because they will be washed along and away by the flow without too much bother. If however you repress or stifle or numb your emotions, then this is like making them into a stagnant pond, they get stuck in your body and mind, unable to flow naturally. In this situation, whenever a difficult or negative emotion gets generated within you it will tend to get ‘stuck’ and just circulate within your emotional being for an unnatural time because it has nowhere to go; it cannot ‘flow’.

The flowing river
Imagine yourself by a deep, flowing river, allow your attention to dwell upon and within the river so that you can start to feel its flow within your emotional being. Allow yourself to feel and flow like the river, letting whatever emotions come up to arise and then flow downstream; don’t try and control or dictate what emotions arise. Allow your emotional self to become a moment to moment flow, gradually becoming a smooth, clear flow of pure feeling-ness; relax mindfully into that and dwell on it for as long as you wish.
You can even take particular emotions that you know you struggle with or tend to repress, and do this exercise specifically with them in mind.

Dealing with surges
When there is a lot of rain, a river swells and the flow increases, but as long as the flow is not blocked, then the surge eventually returns to a normal flow. It’s the same when we have a surge of emotions, as long as you don’t try and block or prevent the flow of the emotion, then after a while it will subside quite naturally. Again the principle here is to work on allowing the energy of the emotion to flow in a conscious, directed way.

© Toby Ouvry 2016, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Mindful Goals Coaching Special Offer: 15% off from May 25th – June 8th

For two weeks starting May 25th & ending June 8th I am offering a special 15% discount on my mindful goals coaching service. For a three session package that is a saving of Sing$90.
‘To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it is still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble’ – Bill Watterson
Click the link above to find out more about the Mindful Goals Coaching Service!

Upcoming Courses at Integral Meditation Asia:

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation Classes at Basic Essence with Toby

Saturday 11th June, 10am-5pm – An Introduction to Meditation from the Perspective of Shamanism

Saturday June 18th, 2.30-5.30pm – Meditation & Mindfulness for Creating a Mind of Ease, Relaxed Concentration and Positive Intention – An Introduction to Contemporary Meditation Practice

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology