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Energy Meditation Inner smile & Earth healing Inner vision Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation

Mindful of – colour therapy & facial expression

“Awareness of colour & facial expression are two ways of using mindful attention to improve your mood and energy with very little effort. You just need to remember them & return to them often”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article focuses on working with colour & facial expression, both powerful, enjoyable methods for enhancing mood & energy.

If you enjoy it, then do have a look at this Saturdays workshop, that looks at this subject in depth: 
Saturday, March 28th 9:00am – 12:30pm – Inner smile & Earth Healing meditation workshop – Build health, confidence & energetic resilience in life, as well as the class & deep-dive series following on from it. 

In the spirit of living-in-colour,

Toby


Mindful of – colour therapy & facial expression
 
The two ‘mindful positions’ that we explore in this article are:

  • The energetics of colour, and tuning into the colour you need right now
  • The expression on your face, and working with what it is communicating

 
What colour does my body need?
 
If you have ever drawn or painted with colours, you might have noticed that concentrating on colour can feel great. After an hour of working with a green, blue and yellow landscape picture, you can really feel how these colours make you feel relaxed, calm and energised, even if you aren’t a great artist.
Similarly, if you go outside and just notice the colours in the landscape around you, you will notice that certain colours feel great to just stare at, absorb the energy of and relax.
On a slightly deeper level, if you ask yourself the question what coulor does my body energy need right now to move toward balance? Quite quickly you will notice your body intelligence will suggest a colour to surround yourself with.

  • If it needs energy it may move toward oranges or reds
  • If it needs lifting, it might move towards yellows
  • If it needs balancing and harmonizing, it might move toward greens
  • For calmness blues, and so on…

You can then just imagine yourself surrounded by that colour and let your body-mind absorb it, with often rapid effect. You might feel also that the colour has a ‘sound’ or vibration, which you can enjoy too.
 
Variation: You can imagine a point of energy in your belly, heart, and head. Ask each of these areas of your body what colour it needs. Breathe each of these colours into the particular area of the body, building that colour vibration there. You will get to know what colours work for you powerfully very quickly if you do this.
 
Your facial expression
 
The expression on your face communicates how you are feeling, but often we are unaware of it. If you are on a commute, and look at people’s faces, you will see this quite clearly!
If you become aware of your face, and notice tension, stress or a bad mood there, here are three stages you can try:

  1. Notice the expression and the mood it embodies. Accept it, even exaggerate the expression a little to really get a feeling for what is there
  2. Next, relax your face, release the expression, move your face toward a calm, neutral position, enjoy it
  3. Third, raise the corners of your mouth a little, so that your face is in the position of a half-smile. Feel the gentle joy and radiance of this expression, let it spread from your face into your body, and any parts of your body-mind that might need a bit of warmth and support.

 
There you go, two ways of playing with your attention to improve your mood and energy with very little effort. It’s just something that you need to come back to often and put to use!
 
Related readingMindfulness, beauty & slowing the effects of ageing
Your Emotional Colour Palette
Practical dimensions of chakra meditation
Inner smile meditation
What your body posture communicates to you

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm 
– Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Ongoing weekly on Wednesday – Beginners mind, resilient body – a 10-week integral meditation course

Starts Saturday 17th January, 5.30-6.15pm, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body deep-dive: An 11 -session practice series

Saturday, March 28th 9:00am – 12:30pm – Inner smile & Earth Healing meditation workshop – Build health, confidence & energetic resilience in life

Wednesday April 1st, 7.30-8.30pm & Saturday, 4th April, 5-6pm – Which meditator are you? – Free meditation seminars: The five types of meditators & how to build your path to inner freedom

Starts Wednesday 8th April, 7.30-8.30pm, & then ongoing – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

 Saturday 11th April, 5.30-6.15pm SG time, & then ongoing – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series
 


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creative imagery Enlightened Flow Greenworld Meditation Inner smile & Earth healing Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Primal Spirituality Qi gong Stress Transformation Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

Healing hatred, opening to Love with the help of the Earth

“If we are able to acknowledge our self-hatred & work on forgiving ourself, then overcoming our resentment & hatred of others becomes 100% easier, as does opening to love”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

I’m currently working on the next workshopclass & deep-dive sessions. They focus on:

  1. Heal and regenerate the energy of your physical body and internal organs
  2. Revitalize and transform your emotional vitality & balance
  3. Work with colour & vibration in meditation
  4. Promote your Mind-body connection – By directing awareness and a gentle smile to internal organs, we deepen somatic awareness, fostering relaxation and vitality
  5. Connect to the living energy of Mother Earth for personal healing & planetary harmonization

The article below is an example of this type of inner-work. 

Heads up for the Spring Equinox balancing & renewing meditation on the 18th & 21st March!

In the spirit of transforming,

Toby


Healing hatred, opening to Love with the help of the Earth
 
In this piece, I’ll be pointing out some mindful positions to help to heal our wounds of hatred and resentment. The positions draw from:

  • A traditional Qi Gong method of smiling to our internal organs to heal emotional imbalances
  • Connecting to Mother Earth as a support for our practice
  • Looking at the psychology of working with and transforming difficult emotions

 
Want to let go of hatred toward others? Forgive yourself
 
One distinction that I would like to open with regarding hatred is this; if we are able to acknowledge our self-hatred, and work on forgiving ourself, then overcoming our resentment and hatred of others becomes 100% easier.
Recently I was in a coaching session with a client. The principal subject of the session was feeling resentment and hatred to members of her previous company who had conspired to get her sacked. A key moment in the journey came when she recognized the hatred she had toward herself for being so ‘naïve’ and foolish as to be taken advantage of. By acknowledging the grudge she bore toward herself, and practising forgiveness and support to that part of her that was ‘foolish, naïve & stupid’, relatively rapid healing was able to be made regarding letting go of hatred towards others in the outer situation.  
 
Mindful positions for transforming hatred into love
 
Position 1: Connecting to Mother Earth as support
 
As you sit or stand, be aware of the Earth beneath you. Feel her energy rising into your body through your point of contact with the floor, embracing you like a Mother holding a child. If you like feel your feet/body sinking a few cm’s into the Earth, her body merging with yours.
 
Position 2Smiling to and with your heart
 
The organ that often holds hatred in Taoist belief is the heart. Inwardly direct your attention to your physical heart, smiling to it gently. As you do so feel yourself getting in touch with any hatred or resentment you may feel toward others, and particularly toward yourself. Feel and experience that hatred as a cloudy, darker red energy within the heart. When you are ready, breathing in, feel the hatred, breathing out, release it down your body into the earth, like ice melting into water. Let Mother Earth receive the imbalanced energy so it can be recycled in her body. Let go of the hatred, connect of you can with forgiveness, particularly toward yourself. Be held by the Earth as you do this.
 
Position 3: Receiving love into the heart
 
Feel energy rising up into your body from Mother Earth. Filling your body with light. In particular feel it flowing into your heart, which begins to glow with a bright, clear red energy, and the energy of love. Enjoy breathing with this energy, feeling it build strength in the heart. Extend this love towards yourself, the Earth and others.
 
Hatred transformed
 
So, the hatred transforms mainly into the love here. But you may also like to feel that the hatred has been transformed into a particular type of courage, strength and clarity within the love that is able to see and protect from the malevolent intentions of others, enabling you to move safely and confidently through the world.
 
End with a period of relaxation, non-doing and integration.
 
Related articlesHealing thru the Earth, & Earth-as-Self
Smiling meditation & your psychosomatic health
Accepting & recycling your difficult emotions
Recognizing Three Types of Fear, Meditating on three Types of Courage

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm 
– Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Ongoing weekly on Wednesday – Beginners mind, resilient body – a 10-week integral meditation course

Starts Saturday 17th January, 5.30-6.15pm, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body deep-dive: An 11 -session practice series

Wednesday 18th (7.30pm) & Saturday 21st (5.30pm) March – Spring Equinox balancing and renewing meditation

Saturday, March 28th 9:00am – 12:30pm – Inner smile & Earth Healing meditation workshop – Build health, confidence & energetic resilience in life

Wednesday April 1st, 7.30-8.30pm & Saturday, 4th April, 5-6pm – Which meditator are you? – Free meditation seminars: The five types of meditators & how to build your path to inner freedom

Starts Wednesday 8th April, 7.30-8.30pm, & then ongoing – The inner smile – Meditations for inner regeneration & connecting to the Earth – An 8-week course

 Saturday 11th April, 5.30-6.15pm SG time, & then ongoing – The inner smile & Earth healing deep-dive – An 8 session practice series
 


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Integral Meditation Asia

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Beginners mind, resilient body creative imagery Energy Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present

Accepting & recycling your difficult emotions

“The quickest way to get to where you want to go is often to accept where you are.”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article looks at mindfulness around emotions, and working with emotional energy.  If you enjoy it, we will be exploring these methods in both the weekday (Weds eve) and Saturday sessions this week. You are invited!

You might also consider the Inner smile & energy balls meditation workshop – Build health, confidence & energetic resilience in life.

Final call for this weekends  Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels & for Self-Healing!

In the spirit of inner recycling,

Toby


Accepting & recycling your difficult emotions

In last week’s article on ‘Your emotions as horses’ I led with this quote:

“The emotions you currently think of as being the most useless in your life might just be the ones that you need to learn to ride better”

In this piece, I want to explore the theme of accepting and recycling difficult emotions, as well as the mental narrative and the bodily/somatic states that goes with them.

To recycle the energy of difficult emotions, they first need to be acknowledged and accepted. There is a Zen saying that goes “Pulling the weeds we give nourishment to the plant,” meaning that we can learn to be grateful to our inner difficulties, if we know how to use their energy, like pulling and then burying weeds next to a plant so that they can nourish it.  

Our ‘normal’ approach to a difficult emotional state is to try and push it away, so that we can replaced it with a more ‘positive’ state. Another quote I often use in my trainings is:

 “The quickest way to get to where you want to go is to accept where you are.”

What this points to is that, counter-intuitively, if you can accept and be at peace with a difficult emotional state, the state itself can change more rapidly to something more constructive. It is the accepting and not resisting that enables the transformation.

For example, if I am hurt or disappointed by someone’s behaviour, acknowledging that feeling of hurt or disappointment is a first step towards transforming it.

Smiling at it to accept and soften the energy

From acknowledgment I can then move onto acceptance. Even though we may understand intellectually the principle and benefit of accepting, it is not easy to do! The gateway to accepting a difficult emotion is often guarded by resistance. One technique I find helpful when in a state of resistance is to gently smile at my resistance, inviting it to soften its hard, rigid stance. Smiling and inviting our resistance to let go (and not being in a hurry about this) enables us to access the feeling of the emotion itself. Once we have this access, we can then use the smiling technique to work with the emotion. In my example of hurt and disappointment, I can smile inwardly to the part of me that feels this way, encouraging a softening of the emotion, making its energy more malleable. This opens up the emotional energy to the ‘recycling’ or transformational stage of the practice that I explain below.

Recycling emotional energy using the microcosmic orbit

I have talked about the microcosmic orbit in a previous articles this year. With emotional energy we raise its vibration by looping it up the back of the body, and re-directing it down the front, which is the basic pattern in all M-O meditations.

Imagine two points of light within your body, one at the bottom of your perineum, the second at the crown of your head. Now imagine a golden thread running up the back of your body, from perineum to the base of the spine, up the back of the body to the crown. It continues thru the crown to your third eye, and down the front of your body, through the belly and back down to the perineum (see diagram).

As you breathe in, feel the energy in your body flowing up the back of the golden thread to your crown, raising and purifying the vibration of the energy as it does so. As you breathe out, feel energy flowing down the front of the body, bringing the higher vibrational energy back down into the torso. As you do this, imagine that the energy of your difficult emotion is being ‘sucked’ into this loop, recycled up the back of the spine and returning down the front of the torso, as neutral/positive emotional energy, ready to be deployed by you in other directions.

Recycling rather than avoiding emotions is a great way to increase your energy levels and resilience in life. Initially the techniques can sound a bit eccentric, but once you try them a few times, the principles are not that complicated.


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creative imagery Energy Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Stress Transformation Using the Energy of Negative Emotions

Your emotions as horses (& Lunar NY fire horse meditation)

“The emotions you currently think of as being the most useless in your life might just be the ones that you need to learn to ride better”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article is one I wrote in 2015, it seemed like a good time to post it, coming into the Lunar new year of the fire-horse!
If you look up a summary of the fire-horse year, you might get something like this:  “The 2026 Year of the Fire Horse (beginning Feb 17, 2026) is a rare, high-energy 60-year cycle event symbolizing rapid change, intense passion, and bold action” 

If you would like to tune into this energy for yourself, then I will be doing a Lunar New Year Meditation 2026: Connecting to the energy of the Fire Horse session at 5.30pm SG time this coming Saturday, both in person & online.

In the spirit of Lunar fire,

Toby


Your Emotions as Horses

Your emotions are like horses; powerful, fleet, full of energy and vitality. They are also willful and sometimes volatile. The flip side of this is they also contain their own instinctive and natural wisdom. You are the rider of the horses of your emotions.

If you try and control them by whipping and abusing them then they, like real horses will either become resentful, rebellious and devious or they will become broken, sad and scared.

If you simply indulge the horses of your emotions without directing them then they will simply run wherever they want without control, with the according results in your life.

Your emotions are tremendously strong. If you are scared of the strength of your emotions then they will sense that, and like horses with a nervous rider they will react to it.

If you learn how to ride your emotions with love and care, but at the same time with discipline and direction, then you have a tremendous energy source that you can put to positive use in your life, taking you faster in the direction that you want to go – So there is a lot ‘riding’ on the way you as the rider relate to the horses of your emotions!

Imagine you are on the back of a powerful horse now. It is the horse of your emotions. Feel the raw power, energy and life-force of the horse between your legs. When the horse wants to run, let him do so, feel the elation and the freedom as you gather speed, the wind in your hair, the trees and landscape flying by. Where do you want to go? You are the rider and director of this horse, and s/he wants your benevolent guidance.

Working mindfully with the image of yourself as rider and your emotions as horses can help us find out a lot about our current relationship to our emotions, and how we can learn to ride them better, with both more freedom and more control.

One of the keys to understand about emotions is that ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ emotions are like black and white horses (or brown etc…); it doesn’t matter what colour they are, what mainly matters is how you ride them. The emotions you currently think of as being the most useless in your life might just be the ones that you need to learn to ride better.

Related article: The Sea Snakes of the Mind
The Wild dogs of the Mind
A bag of rats & a big meadow (tactics or strategy?)


© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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A Mind of Ease Beginners mind, resilient body creative imagery Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Stress Transformation Zen Meditation

A bag of rats & a big meadow (tactics or strategy?)

“When you practice the ‘sheep in the meadow’ form of awareness, you can keep your attention on your ‘bigger Why’s,’ accepting the small obstacles that you encounter on the way toward your larger goals”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week I outline two images to help you refine and develop your awareness in a way that can significantly transform your daily experience. If you enjoy it, we will be exploring these methods in both the weekday (Tues&Weds) and Saturday sessions this week. You are invited!

If you are interested in Qi gong, do check out the Qi Gong for Improving your Health and Energy Levels & for Self-Healing that I will be facilitating on the 28th Feb.

In the spirit of the meadow mind, 

Toby


A bag of rats & a big meadow (tactics or strategy?)
 
This article explains what is essentially a perspective shift that changes your relationship to your thoughts, and how you experience them. It looks at how we can create an inner space for ourselves that contains a lot more acceptance and allowing. We will then look at some other applications of this principle in daily life.
 
The bag of rats – Your everyday ‘small’ mind
 
Imagine you are a rat in a dark sack. There are several other rats inside. It is dark, hot, and claustrophobic. You feel agitated by the rats around you, they in turn feel agitated by you. You have a very limited sense of where you are and what is happening to you, it is all close-up, friction-loaded and conducive to irritation, even paranoia.
In everyday life our mind can feel a bit like this bag of rats. It feels trapped inside our body. Often, we feel trapped in an even smaller space, the one between our ears, inside our skull! There are many thoughts about many things in this small space, bumping into each other, creating friction as they rub-up against the thoughts next to them. A lot of feelings and emotions are created from this rubbing. It is difficult to know which feelings come from which thoughts, and what emotional state came from where. It’s difficult not to get confused, to difficult to see our life clearly.
When your mind is like a bag of rats, life naturally feels a bit tough and contentious. States like acceptance, flow, curiosity come at a premium and are difficult to maintain.
 
The open meadow – Making your mind bigger
 
“To give your sheep or cow a large, spacious meadow is the way to control him” – Shunryu Suzuki
 
The quote from Suzuki above refers both to the method to control one’s mind, but also an approach to working with other people, and with experiences in our life. In terms of mind-training and meditation, this instruction stands in contrast to the ‘rats in the bag’ image from the first section. When sitting with the thoughts in your mind, rather than trying to control them, stop them or ‘fix’ them, you simply make your mind and awareness bigger, like a large open meadow. Rather than having your thoughts ‘in your head’ like rats in a bag, you make your mind big, with the thoughts like sheep in a big, spacious meadow. In such an environment an animal will tend to simply wonder off, find its place in the field and be content. So, when you make your awareness big, you can sit there watching the thoughts without being so bothered by them, and they in turn tend to gradually return to equilibrium, without you having to work that hard to control or fix them.
 
The movement from tactics, and making room for your ‘Big Why’
 
When your experience of your mind is of the ‘rats in the bag’ type, it is difficult to keep perspective. Everything that you are doing tends to be tactical, small picture, just dealing with what is right in front of you. When you practice the ‘sheep in the meadow’ form of awareness, you can keep things more in perspective. You can ‘choose your battles’. You can keep your attention on your ‘bigger Why’s’, accepting the small obstacles that you encounter on the way toward your broader goals.
 
Enjoy the meadow!

Related articleIntegrating field awareness & single-pointedness in daily life

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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Your inner voice & tone of presence

“We often talk to ourself too much, sometimes unskilfully, but it is also possible to talk to little, when we could really do with a voice of support from within”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article is a complementary to my one from a few weeks ago on Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself. Both articles point to some psycho-dynamic mindfulness practices that can have a dramatic empowering effect on your experience!

Before the article are details of the main courses and workshops for January, your welcome to come on the journey of any or all of them!

In the spirit of mindful inner chatter, 

Toby


Starts Tues 13th, Weds 14th January, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body – a 10-week integral meditation course

Starts Saturday 17th January, 5.30-6.15pm, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body deep-dive: An 11 -session practice series

In a sentence: Combine the mental agility, flexibility & wisdom of a beginner’s mind with resilient energy levels with these ‘integral cross-training’ meditation course!


Saturday 24th January, 9.00am-12.30pm – Meditation and Mindfulness for Self-Healing and Creating High Levels of Energy

Learn how you can use meditation and mindfulness order to accelerate the healing of a physical health condition, create higher levels of energy in your body and/or break through difficult energy patterns in your physical body that are affecting your mental and emotional wellbeing…read full details



Article: Your inner voice & tone of presence, overactive or not active enough?
 
This is a complementary article to my one from a few weeks ago on Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself.
Our inner voice accompanies much of our experience, narrating, judging and commenting on our experience, creating and adding to our perception of what we think we are going through…
As well as our tone of voice, there is also what I would call our ‘tone of presence’. This is the mood, atmosphere, and way of being present to ourself as we go through the day. It is distinct from our inner voice in the sense that it is not a voice, but a presence, an energy.
 
Our inner voice and tone of presence play off each other. A harsh judgment from our inner voice can lead to a sense of energetic or emotional presence that feels oppressive and stifling. Contrastingly, a gentle mood and energy of presence can lead to the expression of an accepting, loving inner voice.
 
If you reflect on how these two have been interacting within you today, what do you notice or observe?
 
Ideally, we want a tone of presence and inner voice that are mutually aware and re-enforce each other in ways that are constructive and balanced, promoting a sense of inner wholeness and integrity. However, it is all too easy for them to becoming mutually antagonistic, dividing us against ourselves, and setting up spirals of imbalance and conflict.
Here are some overactive and under active expressions of our voice and tone of presence, as well as their higher and lower expressions.
 
Overactive inner voice, oppressive tone of presence
 
In this scenario, we are taking and narrating to ourselves a lot, in a neurotic manner. It’s like sitting next to someone on an aeroplane who just won’t shut up. The underlying tone of presence is accordingly anxious, and characterised by emotions such as fear, anger, blame, regret and so on. This almost always makes what we are going through more difficult. I’m sure you can think of examples from your own experience of this.
When we notice ourself becoming triggered in this way, the direction we want to emphasise is:

  • A slower, gentler, more compassionate inner voice
  • A warmer, more inwardly supportive tone of presence

 
Under active inner voice, absence rather than presence
 
An under active inner voice is when we could be, should be talking ourself through something in a pro-active, supportive manner. But instead we just ‘go silent’ or ‘freeze’ like a rabbit in the headlights. Our inner voice is absent where it should be talking pro-activelly!
In terms of our tone of presence, this can manifest as a kind of absence, or non-presence. We are trying to escape the discomfort of where we are by being absent energetically, rather than present! Again, you will find it quite easy to find examples from your own experience of this.
Corrections for under activity include:

  • Waking up and being pro-active with our inner voice, encouraging ourself skilfully and appropriately
  • Bringing supportive, attentive presence to the situation, being alert to possibilities

 
Practice points for growing à balanced inner voice, harmonised
presence include:

  • Get used to watching and being aware of your inner voice and tone of presence
  • Reducing/recalibrating their impulsiveness, speed and energy where appropriate
  • Increasing presence and supportive inner chatter where it is needed

 
What situation in your life can you start practicing around this today?
 
Related articleMindfully talking, & not talking to yourself

© Toby Ouvry 2026, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm 
– Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing on Saturdays, 5.30-6.45pm SG time – Saturday Integral meditation deep-dive sessions with Toby

Tues 13th, Weds 14th January, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body – a 10-week integral meditation course

Starts Saturday 17th January, 5.30-6.15pm, & then weekly – Beginners mind, resilient body deep-dive: An 11 -session practice series

Saturday 24th January, 9.00am-12.30pm – Meditation and Mindfulness for Self-Healing and Creating High Levels of Energy


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Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present Uncategorized

Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself

“The most important conversations you are having are the inner ones that you are having with yourself. Has what you have been saying today inwardly helped or hindered you?”

Dear Toby, 

This week’s article looks at the inner conversation that we all have with ourselves, and how to start working with it mindfully…

A couple of free seasonal meditations coming up, the Winter solstice & new year online sessions, you are all invited!
 
In the spirit of self-talk,

Toby



Article: Mindfully talking, & not talking to yourself
 
Most of the time you are talking to yourself
 
For almost all people, there is an internal conversation we are having with ourself all the time. It is probably the most important conversation you are having because:

  • As mentioned, it is going on almost all the time, whether someone else is around or not
  • If it is working for you, it can be an almost constant source of support, encouragement, and resilience
  • If it is working against you, it is an almost constant source of discouragement, conflict, and weakness
  • You can’t escape it by running away. Unlike other people, the voice follows you wherever you go!

 
Noticing the conversation & making adjustments
 
Step one then could be to recognize the inner conversation and acknowledge its importance. This can then be a motivator to start working with it. To start working with it, we need to start to watch it and notice what’s going on as we talk to ourselves!
As in all mindfulness practice just becoming aware of it, and starting to study it as an object of consciousness can be profoundly transformative. Based on your observation, you can then practice making small, skilful interventions in the conversation that make it more balanced and useful for you. For example, there is a tremendous difference between
“You’ve just wasted half an hour procrastinating, you idiot, why do you always do that”
And:
“Its normal for me to take half an hour or so to settle into my work, lets see if I can make it just twenty minutes today!”
It’s not rocket science, but it can make a big impact, particularly if we do it regularly, and start to get the compound effect going!
 
 
Learning to suspend the conversation
 
Part of the joy of meditation of course, is to learn that you can actually switch the conversation off, what a relief! Ways to begin the conversation suspension include:

  • Watching the spaces between the words in your inner conversation, dropping into them and gradually extending them
  • Placing short pauses between your inbreath and out breath, practising suspending the conversation just for those pauses

Exercises such as there help to build familiarity with the state of silence, even when our mind is still quite active
 
Being pro-active about the conversation
 
A final method that I can’t recommend highly enough is to activate your ‘inner life-coach’. This means you are taking charge of your inner conversation and saying things to yourself that are encouraging, supportive, balanced, and wise as you go through your day. Being pro-active about this conversation when I play sport is the single best and most consistent tool I have found to bring my best performance out. But, and more importantly, if life is the sport, and today, right now is ‘game day,’ then the time to activate this capacity within yourself is now!
Sometimes it may feel like being pro-active like this takes a lot of work. But then its a lot more work living with a miserable, oppressive inner voice. So you may as well engage in the inner work that is taking you somewhere, rather than just being miserable and running round in circles!
 
Practicum

  • Set aside time to watch your inner conversation with a degree of curious objectivity
  • Practice making small skilful interventions
  • Practice ceasing the conversation for short periods
  • Cultivate your ‘inner life-coach’!

 
Related articlesLife-fullness
From ‘life is a problem and…’ to ‘life is good and…’
Trusting your inner guru
Four ways of working with your inner voice

© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


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Connecting to your magical self or inner Magician

“Magic means being able to change one level of our reality by working on it from the level, or plane above it”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article is the first part of a re-work  of an old article of mine on your ‘inner magician’, with part 2 next week. 
If you enjoy it, then you might enjoy coming along to the Wednesday and Saturday bright shadow meditations, which are magical in the way described below. 

Heads up for the last workshop of the year, Saturday 13th December, 9am-12.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop, also very much an ‘evolutionary magical’ focus here.
 
In the spirit of your inner magician,

Toby



Connecting to your magical self or inner Magician

I have recently been working on re-titling and writing notes for some artworks that I completed back in 2005. The first of these “The Magician” you can see in the image on this page. The image itself is meant as a way of visually connecting to our “Inner Magician”. The inner magician is that part of our inner self that is both creative and magical, and that if we harness it effectively has the power to change our daily life and experience for the better.

Who or what is our inner magician? 

Here is a working definition:

“The higher expression of our inner magician is that part of self that is able to work with the higher, evolutionary or developmental expression of magic.”  

Magic in this context means the following:


1) Being able to affect or change one level of our reality by working on it from the level, or plane of reality above it.
2) Engaging our creative imagination vividly and consciously to “sculpt” our experience of any given situation for the better.
3) Not being content to let good ideas remain in our head, but actively finding ways of expressing those ideas concretely in our daily life.

Let’s take a closer look at these three aspects of magic:

1) Being able to affect or change one level of our reality by working on it from the level or plane of reality above it.
In its simplest terms this means that you use your mental or thought-based mind to change your physical and emotional reality for the better, and you use your spiritual or intuitive mind (which operates on a level beyond thought) to change your thinking patterns for the better.

A simple example might be this: 

  •  If I experience physical pain because of an injury or illness I use my thinking mind to be constructive, telling myself that the pain won’t last forever, and encouraging myself to practice patience. This is using my thoughts to positively affect my physical reality. 
  • If I find myself having repetitive dissonant thoughts about my pain and illness, then I can temporarily suspend my thinking (this is really where meditation comes into the picture) and move into a state of mind beyond thought. Doing this enables me to release the momentum of all the imbalanced thoughts that I was having, so that my mind becomes a “clean slate” so to speak which I can then replace the cycle of ‘negative’ thoughts with more appropriate and affirmative ones.
     

So, thinking mind works magic on physical world and emotions, spiritual/non-conceptual mind works to affect and control the thinking mind.

Looking at this example, you might think that this is simply working skillfully and creatively with your mind and consciousness to affect your bodily experience, but in terms of the way we are talking about it, that is exactly what a large part of functional magic is!

I’ll be posting a part 2 of this article next week, or if you like you can read the full original article here.

 
© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm 
– Weekly integral meditation classes

Starts Tuesday 11th & 12th November, 7.30-8.30pm – Going beyond your limitations, tapping into your hidden strengths – Meditating with your bright shadow, a 6-week course

Starts Saturday 15th November, 5.30-6.15pm SG time – Bright shadow meditation Deep-dive – A 5 session practice series

Saturday 29th November, 7-9pm – Living Life From Your Inner Center – Meditations for Going With the Flow of the Present Moment

Saturday 13th December, 9am-12.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop


Follow Toby onLinkedInYouTubeInstagram

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A Mind of Ease Concentration creative imagery Energy Meditation meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

Squares & triangles – Mindful strengths building

“Once you know how to breathe in squares and triangles, you can create your own mindful flow practices to build the qualities & capacities that you wish”

Dear Toby, 

This week’s article looks at a practice I have evolved over the years, designed to enable creativity within a basic, consistent structure. Enjoy!

Last call for this Saturday 22nd Nov, 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop
 
In the spirit of building strength,

Toby



Squares and triangles – Mindful strengths building
 
Square and triangular breathing, the basic concepts
 
Square and triangular breathing are methods where you combine your inhalation and exhalation with short pauses. The practice of pausing your breath in itself offers benefits such as: 

  • calming the nervous system, improving focus, and enhancing emotional regulation
  • increasing the amount of carbon dioxide in the blood, which reduces the excitability of the amygdala (the brain’s fear center) and promotes a sense of calm
  • greater control over the breathing process, which can lead to increased mental clarity, resilience, and better decision-making

 
Square breathing is where we place a short pause both at the top and the bottom of the breath. A well-known form of this is called box-breathing where you breathe in, pause, breathe out and pause at the bottom of the exhalation, each for a count of four, hence ‘breathing in a box’, or square.
 
With triangular breathing there is just one pause, at the bottom of the breath, hence three stages or ‘sides’ like a triangle.
 
To use these breathing forms for strengths building, we simply combine the breathing with qualities, or states of mind to build them as we breathe. For example in my Wednesday class last week we began by practising breathing in a square in the following manner to cultivate mindful flow and presence:

  • Breathing in, gathering and focusing our energy in our body
  • Pause, being focused and present
  • Breathing out, relaxing our body, relaxing into the present moment
  • Pause, holding a state of relaxed presence

We practiced with sets of three square breaths like this, with pauses in between just to enjoy the sense of being in state of focused, relaxed presence. Focused, relaxed presence are foundational strengths for building competence in meditation and mindfulness. In this practice we used square breathing to build these strengths systematically.
 
In the Saturday class last week, we opened with a triangular breathing form, where:

  • As we breathed in, we opened to a state of adventurousness
  • Breathing out, dropping into a state of calm
  • Pausing at the bottom of the breath, relaxing in a state of calm adventurousness

 
Adventurousness and calm are qualities we can use to meet our challenges and opportunities in such a way that we enjoy them where possible, and also navigate them with calm strength. The triangular breathing provides a structure to cultivate these qualities deliberately in a structured way.
 
Once you know how to breathe in squares and triangles, you can create your own mindful flow practices to build the qualities and capacities that you wish to develop in our life and work. I like to combine qualities together into polarities that balance and complement each other. From the above examples you can see:

  • Relaxed and focused
  • Adventurous calm

 
There are many, many variations that I have used over the years:

  • Engaged detachment
  • Humble self-assertion
  • Gentle courage
  • Serious lightness

And so on…
 
The great thing about meditating with squares and triangles is that you have one technique, with many variations. So, you can create variety and stimulation in your practice, whilst at the same time keeping it basically consistent and ‘the same’.
 
Related reading:
Using mindful flow to train in strengths-building
Adventuring with attention (What is a Meditator?)
Meditation wings – Five foundational meditation polarities

 
© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm 
– Weekly integral meditation classes

Starts Tuesday 11th & 12th November, 7.30-8.30pm – Going beyond your limitations, tapping into your hidden strengths – Meditating with your bright shadow, a 6-week course

Starts Saturday 15th November, 5.30-6.15pm SG time – Bright shadow meditation Deep-dive – A 5 session practice series
 

21 Nov & 28th Nov, 8am-12pm – The wisdom of Zen meditation practice retreat & course, levels 1&2

Saturday 22nd November, 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday 29th November, 7-9pm – Living Life From Your Inner Center – Meditations for Going With the Flow of the Present Moment

Saturday 13th December, 9am-12.30pm – Psychic & Psychological Self-defence half day workshop


Follow Toby onLinkedInYouTubeInstagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Energy Meditation Inner vision Integral Awareness Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Presence and being present Shadow meditation Stress Transformation

Change your idea, change yourself – Working creatively with your self-concept

“We can learn to relate creatively to our self-concept in a way that opens doors, rather than closes them. The older we get, the more important this creative capacity becomes”

Dear Integral Meditators, 

This week’s article explores a creative & psycho-dynamic meditation form. The stages of it form the basis of my upcoming weekday & Saturday series on ‘how to work with your bright shadow’. If you enjoy the article, then do consider attending one program, or even both of them!
 
In the spirit of opening to possibilities,

Toby



Change your idea, change yourself – (Five stages to) Working creatively with your self-concept
 
By the time you get to adulthood, your dominant sense of self, at least for most people, is an idea. This idea is called your ‘self-concept.’ It is a dynamic collection of conditioned beliefs, assimilated past experiences, habitual emotional states, absorbed philosophies, learned behaviour and so on that you identify as ‘me’.

  • “I am an extrovert”/introvert
  • “I am an Asian/European/African and therefore I can/can’t….”
  • “I’m an optimist/pessimist”
  • “I am good at/not good at…”

You get the idea. Your self-concept is just an idea of who you are, but it is an idea that you are completely or at least very closely identified with. It defines most of how you turn up, how you behave and what you feel yourself to be capable of.
Furthermore, your self-concept has two parts, conscious and unconscious. The conscious part of yourself concept is your self-image. The unconscious part is the part that is not acceptable to your self-image, and that you repress and reject. Any part of your self-concept that you don’t like or feel threatened by, you can push into your unconscious, where it becomes a part of your shadow, or dis-owned self.
 
What I outline below is a way of working creatively with your self-concept, to open possibilities, rather than close them. By doing so it becomes possible to relate to our idea of ourself in a way that opens doors, rather than closes them particularly, but not only as we find ourselves getting older.
 
For this work, it is a good idea to take a specific area of your life and self-concept, bearing it in mind as you work your way though the five stages below…
 
Step one, observing – noticing the narrative, conceptual and non-conceptual
 
Firstly, take the position of the observer in your field of awareness, and practice, observing, listening to and accepting this part of your self-concept, and your close identification with it. For example, if you are taking your idea of self-as-parent:

  • Notice the commentary within you about what a parent should or shouldn’t be, and how you are measuring up
  • Observe the emotional range coming up within you, and your judgements about those emotions
  • Accept whatever arises as fully as you can

At this stage I find working on accepting and observing with the qualities of curiosity, courage and care to be particularly useful.
 
Step two, dis-identifying – dropping the labels, badges, and roles
 
Secondly, practice putting down, or dis-identifying with all the labels, roles and badges that are involved in this part or aspect of your self-concept.  Practice becoming a man or woman. A person of no-rank, no position in life. Practice just being a being, and enjoying the freedom of that space.
 
Step three, imagining – exploring new ideas of self-in-role
 
From your position as a person of no-rank, explore new ideas, and possibilities of yourself in the role you are working on (parenting, romantic partner, professional, etc…). Connect to new ideas and possibilities that you might integrate into this area of yourself in this role.
 
Step four encountering – meeting and communicating with your new self
 
Visualize the self that you have imagined in step three as a person in front of you. S/he looks very much like you, but embodies the qualities that you have been imagining. As you see this person in front of you, invite a communication.  Ask them a question such as:

  • What are you asking of me right now?
  • How can I integrate you more fully into my daily life?
  • What is your perspective on this situation/problem that I am facing right now??

Have a chat and see what transpires!
 
Step five role-playing – developing yourself in your new role
 
Imagine the ‘self’ in front of you steps toward you. Imagine you step toward them. Another step and you step into each other, and merge. Experience yourself AS this newly imagined self, BE them.
 
Once you have finished the meditation, work on role-playing this new self into your daily life. Meet your challenges AS them, particularly with regard to the specific roles you identified in step 2 above.
 
Related articlesWhy we may repress our strengths – six reasons
The bright shadow, the one who can do what you cannot do

 
© Toby Ouvry 2025, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com


Upcoming classes & workshops

Ongoing on Tuesday’s & Wednesday’s (live & online), 7.30-8.30pm 
– Weekly integral meditation classes

Ongoing Tuesday & Weds September, 7.30-8.30pm, – Integral Meditation from the Perspective of Zen – A 10 week series

Ongoing Saturdays 5.30-6.15pm – Zen meditation Deep-dive – A 10 session practice series

Saturday 25th October, 9am-12.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

Starts Tuesday 11th & 12th November, 7.30-8.30pm – Going beyond your limitations, tapping into your hidden strengths – Meditating with your bright shadow, a 6-week course

Starts Saturday 5.30-6.15pm SG time – Bright shadow meditation Deep-dive – A 5 session practice series

21 Nov & 28th Nov, 8am-12pm – The wisdom of Zen meditation practice retreat & course, levels 1&2

Saturday 22nd November, 9am-12.30pm – Meditations for Developing the Language of Your Shadow Self Workshop

Saturday 29th November, 7-9pm – Living Life From Your Inner Center – Meditations for Going With the Flow of the Present Moment


Follow Toby onLinkedInYouTubeInstagram

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology