Category: Meditation and Psychology

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creative imagery Inner vision Integral Awareness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

Your deep time project

“With a ‘deep time’ goal the work we do today will not even nearly be finished when we die. Essentially, we entrust it to the next generation, we focus on our process, without knowledge of how it will finally end up…”

 

Dear Integral Meditators,

I hope you’ve all been enjoying the Christmas break! I’ve been staying near some historical sights over the break, and this has gotten me reflecting on the way in which our sense of time influences both our sense of what’s possible in our lives. The article below is an exploration of this and its applications to mindfulness practice.

And if your looking for a meditation course to get stuck into in 2022, we will be kicking off with  Zen: The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures a ten part series on Jan 11/12th.

In the spirit of deeper time,

Toby

Your deep time project

I’ve been spending the Christmas period in the west country of the Britain, near Glastonbury, Somerset. I’ve seen around Glastonbury Abbey and Tor, as well as Wells Cathedral, which are both medieval buildings, over 800 years old. I’m also hoping to go around Stonehenge tomorrow which is of course a stone-age construction, between 4-5 thousand years old. For all of these buildings, the women and men that began the construction would have not have seen the final building. In fact, they would have been at least 3-4 generations before the completion of the structure. It’s interesting to think then of the mind-set of those working. Essentially, they were working as an offering to future generations, and as a sense of offering something up to the divine, or something bigger than their temporal selves.

The speed of time today
Reflecting upon this, and spending a bit of time walking in these places, sensing into the presence of the deeper-time energy, it got me thinking about how much of our time these days is pretty much the opposite of deep time. We need our phone and internet connection fixed now. At work, often we are thinking of the goals for the next 24 hours, few days, a week. There never seems to be enough time in the day, and everything needs to be done all and at once, now. All of this is in stark contrast to a ‘deep time’ goal, where essentially the work we do today will not even nearly be finished when we die. Essentially, we entrust it to the next generation, we focus on our process, without knowledge of how it will finally end up…

Your own sense of deep time
With the current ‘ecological crisis’ (I put it in quotation marks because in reality it has been building for a long time, not just now), I was thinking how useful this ‘deeper time’ medieval/stone age mindset would be, where the aim was extended across multiple generations, and well beyond our own life-span. If we all re-learned to think across generations, and into the deeper future, our sense of what and how we are creating in our lives would change radically.

Your own deep time projects?
So, then the question might be, “What are my own deep(er) time projects?” The ones that I will be offering up to the next generation to take and interpret in their own way, and build upon. These projects are the opposite of the ‘immediately done, now, today’ stuff that occupies so much of our head-space and energy. It’s the opposite of Instagram likes, short-term attention span, quick-fix. Are there any areas of your life at the moment that involve deep-time projects, and a deep time mindset? If not, what would such a project look like for you, what could you instigate or get involved in?

Deep time and your peace of mind
The interesting thing about spending regular periods of your day in ‘deep time’ is that the cadence and atmosphere of these periods is slower, less stressed, even-minded, peaceful, regenerative. It gives the option to ‘drop out’ temporarily of our short-term goal mindset into a different space that invites a different range of thoughts and emotional states.

Deep time and your medium-term resilience
If your everyday ‘time-range’ extends from the short-term to the long-term, then finding the inner resilience, even-mindedness and stability to get thru medium term challenges and goals becomes relatively easy. For example, we are all at the end of our second year of uncertainty coming from the Covid crisis. Getting through the ups and downs of this is much easier if you are dropping into a deep-time mindset regularly, as two years isn’t such a long time, relatively. I’m now in the 21st year of my post-monk meditation coaching business. There have been a lot of ups and downs during that time, but with a deeper time mindset, and the even-minded resilience that comes from that, it feels like the beginning rather than the end!

Related article: Meditating on time

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Tues & Weds 4th & 5th January – 2022 New year & New Moon releasing and inviting meditation

This meditation session is focused upon setting up the 2022 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2022
  • Focusing both consciously and intuitively upon the inviting of new energies, aspirations and goals that we wish to bring in and manifest over the course of the new year…read full details

Begins Tues 11/Weds 12th January – Zen: The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

This series of 10 classes is an introduction to simple, practical Zen and Taoist meditations that can temporarily help us to reduce our stress and thrive joyfully in daily life. They can also, practiced regularly offer us experiential insight into our true nature and help us to answer some of our deepest life-questions and attain a truly stable sense of inner transformation. The sessions can be attended as a complete course in itself, or each class can be taken as a practice in and of itself…read full details

Saturday January 15th, 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditations for activating the gifts & healing the wounds of our ancestors

This workshop explores relevant and living ways in which we can connect to our own ancestral inheritance in a manner that is appropriate for and empowering to our contemporary lives.

In particular the workshop will offer practical meditations to:

  • Engage in a living communion with both our close (recent in time) and ancient (distant in time) ancestors
  • Awaken fully to the gifts and potentials (spiritual, psychological and material) that our ancestral karma has to offer us
  • Heal damaged or imbalanced ancestral karma that we may have inherited

Read full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 21st December,  7.30-8.30pm, SG time – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

Tues & Weds 4th & 5th January – 2022 New year & New Moon releasing and inviting meditation

Begins Tues 11/Weds 12th January – Zen: The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

Saturday January 15th, 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditations for activating the gifts & healing the wounds of our ancestors

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Inner vision Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership One Minute Mindfulness Presence and being present Uncategorized Zen Meditation

Gateway to a new beginning

“When we practice our beginners mind, we are recognizing the value of maintaining lightness and playfulness in life” 

Dear Integral Meditators,

What would be different in your life if you were able to approach each day with fresh eyes, and open to all that may be possible? This weeks article focuses on how to develop your beginners mind, and open this potential within you!

If you enjoy the article, then do consider attending the new course starting this week  Zen: The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures, a big aspect of this course is really going deeper into our beginners mind.

Also, this Saturday 15th Jan, I’ll be doing my Meditations for activating the gifts & healing the wounds of our ancestors, click on the link to check it out!

In the spirit of every day a new day,,

Toby

The gateway to a new beginning

A beginner’s body-mind is a way of entering the present moment and whatever greets us there as if for the first time, a bit like a young child. It is curious, open, flexible.

The principle of lightness and playfulness
Our beginner’s mind is light and playful. As the years go by and we build up a body of life experience, that experience can become like a weight that we carry around. It can take away our capacity to feel playful and spontaneous. When we practice our beginners mind, we are recognizing the value of maintaining lightness and playfulness in life. We are choosing to value them enough to practice them, to take care of them and, if necessary to rehabilitate them in the face of traumas, disappointments and pain that we may have had to go through. Without them our life becomes heavy, takes on a cynical air, an air or defeatism perhaps. In the light of this danger then, we practice the discipline of our beginner’s mind.
A beginner’s mind is also a great base for a meditation practice. The process of simplification and letting go in meditation helps us to return to a state of beginning. The principal of the beginner’s mind in turn helps us access a state of meditation more easily.

Accepting and releasing the weight of past joy and suffering
Imagine that you are sitting in front of a gateway. Beyond the gateway is a landscape and world that is bright with possibility. The gateway has two pillars on either side:

  • The one on the left is dark and scarred, somewhat twisted. This left pillar represents all of your past sufferings, pain, trauma, disappointments and so on. Looking at it you can feel the weight of this past experience, and its hold on you
  • The one on the right is beautiful and colourful. It represents your past and joys, happiness’s and success. When you contemplate this pillar, you feel good, but you can also sense the attachment and or clinging to these past joys that may be preventing you from opening to the new joys and opportunities of your present and future.

Observing these two pillars gently move toward a state of acceptance of both the pleasures and the pain of your past. They are what they are and cannot be changed. See yourself sitting between these two pillars, in the centre of the gateway, moving toward acceptance.
When you are ready, over a series of breaths feel yourself putting down the weight of these past experiences, good and bad, letting them go. Feel yourself opening to the possibilities of the present and the future, like a flower opening to the rays of the sun at sunrise. The landscape in front of you is new, bright, filled with potential. You yourself feel light and playful in the face of this new day and new beginning.
Once you have the feeling of your beginner’s mind, simple stay with it in meditation, allow yourself to soak it up. Don’t be discouraged if you get distracted every now and again, just keep the atmosphere light and playful. If your mind moves away, just bring it back to the beginning!

Anytime you want to return to your beginner’s mind during the day, simply see yourself sitting in the gateway, and spend a few moments returning to this state, allowing to feed your wellbeing, your resilience in the face of your challenges, and your sense of what is possible in your life, today.

Related article: Combining your beginners mind with your wise mind

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Watch Toby’s video on meditation as a path to greater creativity, lightness and joy:

 

 

Zen: The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

This series of 10 classes is an introduction to simple, practical Zen and Taoist meditations that can temporarily help us to reduce our stress and thrive joyfully in daily life. They can also, practiced regularly offer us experiential insight into our true nature and help us to answer some of our deepest life-questions and attain a truly stable sense of inner transformation. The sessions can be attended as a complete course in itself, or each class can be taken as a practice in and of itself…read full details

Saturday January 15th, 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditations for activating the gifts & healing the wounds of our ancestors

This workshop explores relevant and living ways in which we can connect to our own ancestral inheritance in a manner that is appropriate for and empowering to our contemporary lives.

In particular the workshop will offer practical meditations to:

  • Engage in a living communion with both our close (recent in time) and ancient (distant in time) ancestors
  • Awaken fully to the gifts and potentials (spiritual, psychological and material) that our ancestral karma has to offer us
  • Heal damaged or imbalanced ancestral karma that we may have inherited

Read full details

Saturday Jan 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

In a sentence: Experience unique Qi gong and Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and enhance your meditation…read full details

Tues & Weds Feb 1st & 2nd – Lunar New Year Meditation 2022: Developing your inner power in the year of the Tiger

About the class: This is a meditation to welcome in the lunar new year energies, and attune to the astrological animal of the year, the Water Tiger! In particular, we will be mindfully aligning with and developing our inner and outer power as well as other primal characteristics of the Tiger.
Toby will be leading the meditation as a simple and profound way, with plenty of room for our own personal contemplation, inner healing and positivity building! Full details here

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Begins Tues 11/Weds 12th January – Zen: The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

Saturday January 15th, 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditations for activating the gifts & healing the wounds of our ancestors

Saturday Jan 29th, 9.30-11.30am – Monthly Qi Gong & Taoist Breathwork Clinic & Mini-retreat

Tues & Weds Feb 1st & 2nd – Lunar New Year Meditation 2022: Developing your inner power in the year of the Tiger

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Awareness Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Your unique insignificance

“Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun” – Alan Watts

Dear Integral Meditators,

“Unique insignificance” is a term that I created in my article below to help create a harmonic between the ourselves and our fleeting reality. I hope you enjoy exploring it!

In the spirit of your uniqueness,

Toby

Your unique insignificance

You are a unique, one-off event
Although on one level you look a lot like other people, when you look a little closer you start to see that there has, in fact never been anyone exactly like you born on the planet before. After you die, no one exactly like you will be born ever again. You are a unique, one-off event, created by a series of conditions in time and space. In this sense you have intrinsic value and significance that you can feel genuinely interested in and good about. You are like any of the flowers that blossom in spring each year.  Now is your time to enjoy that, rejoice in that and own the creative potential of it. Really dwelling on this is a powerful object of mindfulness.

Getting a sense of scale
It is also true that, in the bigger scheme of things you are completely insignificant. You are one of 8 billion people on the planet. God knows how many people came before you, and how many will come after you. You exist on a small, dust-particle-like planet in a solar system that is one amongst 100-200 billon solar systems in our galaxy. Our galaxy in turn is one of about 125 billion galaxies (observed so far) in this universe. In this sense you just don’t matter at all. Instinctively this makes many people feel a bit uncomfortable. But if we can acknowledge and accept this, then there is actually a sense of liberation and empowerment that comes from ‘getting lost’ in the enormous context that surrounds us.

Singing your song
On one level then we are like a unique flower temporarily blooming, and we grasp this and sing our unique song as loudly, creatively and as vibrantly as possible; we have meaning and significance that we can really value and cherish.

Relaxing into your insignificance
Also, and as well, we and all that we do has no real significance or meaning. In the bigger scheme of things, we are completely negligible. So, in this sense we can let go of our anxiety about ourself and our life. We can relax into our general lack of consequence.

Creating a complementary polarity
Superficially these two perspectives and ways of experiencing ourselves look contradictory, as if one can only be true if the other is false. Looing a little deeper, we start to see that they are actually compatible and potentially completely complementary. It can be easier to own our unique path if we remember that in 100 years no one will remember us at all. If we are singing our own unique song fully, it becomes easier to accept our fleeting-ness and impermanence. We can enjoy and grow into our unique insignificance powerfully and strongly, authentically and without compromise.

Related article: Tipping your hat to the gods of chaos

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2022, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Tues & Weds 4th & 5th January – 2022 New year & New Moon releasing and inviting meditation

This meditation session is focused upon setting up the 2022 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2022
  • Focusing both consciously and intuitively upon the inviting of new energies, aspirations and goals that we wish to bring in and manifest over the course of the new year…read full details

Begins Tues 11/Weds 12th January – Zen: The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

This series of 10 classes is an introduction to simple, practical Zen and Taoist meditations that can temporarily help us to reduce our stress and thrive joyfully in daily life. They can also, practiced regularly offer us experiential insight into our true nature and help us to answer some of our deepest life-questions and attain a truly stable sense of inner transformation. The sessions can be attended as a complete course in itself, or each class can be taken as a practice in and of itself…read full details

Saturday January 15th, 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditations for activating the gifts & healing the wounds of our ancestors

This workshop explores relevant and living ways in which we can connect to our own ancestral inheritance in a manner that is appropriate for and empowering to our contemporary lives.

In particular the workshop will offer practical meditations to:

  • Engage in a living communion with both our close (recent in time) and ancient (distant in time) ancestors
  • Awaken fully to the gifts and potentials (spiritual, psychological and material) that our ancestral karma has to offer us
  • Heal damaged or imbalanced ancestral karma that we may have inherited

Read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 21st December,  7.30-8.30pm, SG time – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

Tues & Weds 4th & 5th January – 2022 New year & New Moon releasing and inviting meditation

Begins Tues 11/Weds 12th January – Zen: The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

Saturday January 15th, 9.30am-12.30pm – Meditations for activating the gifts & healing the wounds of our ancestors

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Energy Meditation Inner vision Insight Meditation Integral Meditation Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present Shadow meditation

Conscious or default positivity?

“Conscious positivity allows for a tremendous range of feelings and emotions to be present that may not be ‘positive’, but that if we repress or deny would take us away from our authentic response to what is going on, and to move away from the truth“

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks at the phenomenon of ‘positive thinking, and makes a few distinctions that will be helpful in your own practice of it.

I’m in the process of putting together the program for later in the month, and the new year, a few details below the article.

In the spirit of conscious positivity,

Toby

 

Conscious or default positivity?

“There is a meaningful difference between default positivity and conscious positivity. Default positivity is when we turn to positivity as a mechanism, a bypass, a defense against owning or feeling the shadow. Often birthed in challenging life experiences, this pseudo bliss trip can keep us alive during tumultuous times, but it can also become an embedded way of being that detaches us from our truth. Conscious positivity is birthed in authenticity and awareness.” – Jeff Brown

What really constitutes positive thinking? On the surface of it looks fairly simple, “Just look on the bright side of life”, “See the good in the situation”, “Make lemonade out of lemons”, “No point in dwelling on it (the negative or difficult)”.
However, if we start to look at it a bit more closely, it becomes much more nuanced. Below are a few distinctions that may be useful.

Default or reflex positivity
Default positivity is the position of automatically / quickly adopting a ‘positive’ perspective or reaction on order to smother or repress difficult feelings (emotions, thoughts, reactions) that we feel uncomfortable about or threatened by. It is a way of bypassing the thing that we are really experiencing.

An example
Recently I won a court case. It had been one that had been going on for a while. It was certainly a relief to have won, but the after the victory experience was a bitter-sweet, mixed emotion affair with a degree of ambiguity. If I had been uncomfortable about those feelings of ambiguity, I could have felt the need to go out for a celebration, affirm the victory with friends and people congratulating me. I could have spent a lot of time inwardly talking to myself about the victory and how it was born of strength and courageousness and all that. I could have created a ‘high’. I didn’t do that, but I’d felt the need to cover up my feelings, I could have reverted to this type of reflex positivity.

Conscious positivity or mental framing
Conscious positivity allows for a tremendous range of feelings and emotions to be present that may not be ‘positive’, but that if we repress or deny would take us away from our authentic response to what is going on, and to move away from the truth. By ‘truth’ I mean our own inner truth, but also a connection with the objective, outer truth of what’s going on. Conscious positivity comes from a place that is inwardly confident enough and wise enough to allow for difficult and contradictory feelings to be present, whilst at the same time framing what’s going on in a constructive way.

An example
To return to the example of the court case above, it would be true to say that:

  • I felt rather sad that the situation had come to this point
  • I felt somewhat sorry for the other party
  • I felt quite angry about the silliness of it all
  • I reflected on it as partly a comment on the contradictory state of mind and emotions that many people seem to be stuck in these days

Whilst allowing for all these things, I also practiced conscious positivity, noting that:

  • I had achieved my stated objectives, and that there would be genuinely good results coming
  • I felt I had developed aspects of my character that will stand me in good stead in the future
  • I noted the increase of knowledge I had around the legal profession and process
  • I gave permission to myself to feel genuinely good, even in the face of my own ambiguity

Positivity without suppression or denial
The example above, is an example of conscious positivity, and avoiding the temptation and pitfall of default positivity. What are the areas of your life that you could start making the distinction between these two, and what possibilities might it open up for you?

Related article: Mindfully balancing positive thinking with healthy realism

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Tuesday 21st December,  7.30-8.30pm, SG time – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

This will be a chance to reflect on the spiritual meaning of Christmas and power of the winter season. We will look at the different ways our own inner light can ‘die and be re-born once more’.

It is a good time to attune to the creative energies within ourselves. We can think about the new year & spring periods that lie ahead of us, what our goals & expectations are, & sow the seeds on an inner level of that which we wish to manifest over the next few months…read full details

 

Tues & Weds 4th & 5th January – 2022 New year & New Moon releasing and inviting meditation

This meditation session is focused upon setting up the 2022 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2022
  • Focusing both consciously and intuitively upon the inviting of new energies, aspirations and goals that we wish to bring in and manifest over the course of the new year…read full details

Begins Tues 11/Weds 12th January – The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

This series of 10 classes is an introduction to simple, practical Zen and Taoist meditations that can temporarily help us to reduce our stress and thrive joyfully in daily life. They can also, practiced regularly offer us experiential insight into our true nature and help us to answer some of our deepest life-questions and attain a truly stable sense of inner transformation. The sessions can be attended as a complete course in itself, or each class can be taken as a practice in and of itself…read full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 21st December,  7.30-8.30pm, SG time – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation (Online only)

Tues & Weds 4th & 5th January – 2022 New year & New Moon releasing and inviting meditation

Begins Tues 11/Weds 12th January – The ordinary path to enlightenment – Meditating with the Ten Ox Herding pictures

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Inner vision Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindfulness Presence and being present

Inner sensitivity – Listening to yourself

 

“Become an ear that gives heed to every single thing the universe is saying”

 

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores sensitivity, and in particular sensitivity through listening as an  object of mindful attention and development.
The   Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom sessions is this week, either on Tuesday or Wednesday are on the subject of the article, so if you enjoy it do feel free to come along, live or online!

In the spirit of sensitivity,

Toby

Inner sensitivity – Listening to yourself

SENSITIVITY
“How shall I experience my oneness with creation?”
“By listening,” said the Master.
“And how am I to listen?”
“Become an ear that gives heed to every single thing the universe is saying. The
moment you hear something you yourself are saying, stop.” – Anthony De Mello, One Minute Wisdom

This article is essentially a series of ‘pointing out’ instructions regarding how you can mindfully listen to yourself. By ‘listen’ I really mean be sensitive to the inner dialogue that is going on within you not just on the mental, cognitive level, but also:

  • On the sensory and somatic level – What your body is communicating to you through sensations
  • On the emotional level – What feelings and moods are communicating themselves to you non-verbally
  • On the intuitive level – The messaged that are just ‘popping into your awareness’ and that often seem to have nothing to do with your everyday psychological inner narrative

So, when I say ‘listen’ below, implicitly I also mean be receptive to senses, feelings and intuitions.

Listening to your inner commentator without commenting on the inner commentary
The first position we adopt is to work on allowing the inner commentary to happen without a secondary commentary judging the commentary. For example, if the inner voice is saying “I feel afraid”, then try and stay with that. Often there is a second voice that comes up to say something like “Don’t be silly, only weak people are afraid”, and tries to push “I am afraid” out of your awareness. Try and stay with the primary inner comment, not the secondary one. Put the second one down, and listen to the first voice (or sensation, or feeling) without judging it or pushing it away.
The first practice then is hearing the primary commentary non-judgmentally. Don’t be a hurry to get past this one, invest quality time in it!

Putting down the commentary
When you are ready, you can practice putting down the primary inner commentator. On a sensory level this would be relaxing and releasing tense sensations in the body, letting the body come into balance. On an emotional and feeling level similarly, it means gently releasing present emotions, and allowing the emotional nature to return to a calm, balanced condition for a period.
Part of the trick of this second position is to let go of the need to comment on stuff, just for a while. No need to judge, fix, solve, just a space of allowing, relaxation and presence.
At this stage you can also start to notice the other things that are there when your normal everyday voice is silent, that you might poetically call “voices from the Universe to you!”

Reworking the commentary
When you let the commentary come back online, you can start suggesting constructive changes to your inner commentator, that invite the commentary to become different and perhaps better. But don’t be in a hurry to get to this stage, if you do the preceding stages, then this one will start to come fairly naturally, in its own time.

Listening to others
When you can listen to yourself in the way described above, you can apply the same template to listening to others, and to your environment. You’ll be surprised at how differently what you hear is as a result!

Related article: Four ways of working with your inner voice

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

In case you missed this article last week: ‘Head in the Sun’ meditation

This is a simple meditation that combines cultivating a thought-free state with environmental awareness. Specifically, we use brain-relaxation in combination with awareness of the suns light to create the desired experience.

Finding the sun – This first stage is nice to do, and enhances the experience, but is not essential. Glance outside and locate the sun, physically in the sky. Get a sense of where it is in your current landscape. If the sun has gone down already, get a sense of where it is beneath the horizon.

Sitting in landscape – Then take a seat (this can also be done standing or lying and, when your used to it, walking) Send your awareness out to the horizon line in the landscape around you. Get a feel for the curve of the earth’s surface extending around you from your feet, the sun in the sky above, and the living planet beneath you. Breath and relax with this for a short while.
Read full article

Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

In a sentence: Learn the art of ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom through integrative meditation
Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series is an ongoing series that looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention. In this four class series we take instant awakening, miraculous-ness, independence and sensitivity as our doorways to awakening….read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present

Awakening to independence and adulthood

“To be a truly independent adult means that the playful child in you can explore and enjoy her/himself in the safe space created by your independent self. We are aiming to create a complementary polarity between the two!”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores adulthood as an object of mindful attention and development. The  Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom classes this week, either on Tuesday or Wednesday are on the subject of the article, so if you enjoy it do feel free to come along, live or online!

In the spirit of mindful independence,

Toby

 

Awakening to independence and adulthood

This is an article on how to mindfully stand in your own independence and sense of being adult. I want to use two quotes, the first a short story from Anthony De Mello from the book ‘One Minute Wisdom’:

“ADULTHOOD”
To a disciple who was always at his prayers the Master said, “When will you stop
leaning on God and stand on your own two feet?”
The disciple was astonished. “But you are the one who taught us to look on God as
Father!”
“When will you learn that a father isn’t someone you can lean on but someone who
rids you of your tendency to lean?”

Here are a couple of mindful points following on from the story:

  1. Am I generally co-creating with other people (or God) instead of just leaning on them?
  2. Trusting in God and trying up your camel – In the story the Master encourages the disciple away from an unhealthy dependence upon God. This doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t pray at all, it’s just the psychological approach needs to be attended to. As the camel saying implies, the ‘independent adult’ part of the deal is to tie up your camel, or take responsibility for your challenges and life-path!

The second quote is from Nathaniel Branden on parenting, from his ‘Six pillars of self-esteem’:

“The proper aim of parental nurturing is to prepare a child for independent survival as an adult. An infant begins in a condition of total dependency. If his or her upbringing is successful, the young man or woman will have evolved out of that dependency into a self-respecting and self-responsible human being who is able to respond to the challenges of life competently and enthusiastically. He or she will be “Self-supporting” – not merely financially, but intellectually and psychologically.”

Some questions for contemplation here:

  • How am I encouraging my own inner child and self toward confident adult independence in my life and relationships?
  • What areas of my life do I currently tend to become overly dependent upon others?
  • When do I tend to feel child-like in the sense of unable to organize myself in the face of my challenges?

Exploring independence and adulthood somatically
The two quotes above encourage us to explore adult independence intellectually. We then need to ground that feeling of independent adulthood into a feeling, something that we can sense in our body, a way of holding ourself in the world.
Sit comfortably, and bring your attention onto your body and breathing. Once you have settled, explore images and ideas around feeling:

  • Confident and independent
  • Competent and, in a balanced way, ‘adult’

Once you have one or two powerful images and ideas in mind, simply try and bring their energy and sensibility into your body. Try and hold yourself in these ways. Notice what happens to subtle aspects of your body posture, facial expression and sense of inhabiting your own space. Breathe, relax an let your body and cellular structure get used to the experience. In your daily life you can practice holding your body in this way, speaking and acting from this space. By doing this you can quite rapidly enhance this fundamental sense of adulthood and independence.
Final point: To be a truly independent adult means that the playful child in you can explore and enjoy her/himself in the safe space created by your independent self. We are aiming to create a complementary polarity between the two!

Related article: Self-responsibility, becoming a self-determining entity

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

In case you missed this article last week: ‘Head in the Sun’ meditation

This is a simple meditation that combines cultivating a thought-free state with environmental awareness. Specifically, we use brain-relaxation in combination with awareness of the suns light to create the desired experience.

Finding the sun – This first stage is nice to do, and enhances the experience, but is not essential. Glance outside and locate the sun, physically in the sky. Get a sense of where it is in your current landscape. If the sun has gone down already, get a sense of where it is beneath the horizon.

Sitting in landscape – Then take a seat (this can also be done standing or lying and, when your used to it, walking) Send your awareness out to the horizon line in the landscape around you. Get a feel for the curve of the earth’s surface extending around you from your feet, the sun in the sky above, and the living planet beneath you. Breath and relax with this for a short while.
Read full article

Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

In a sentence: Learn the art of ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom through integrative meditation
Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series is an ongoing series that looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention. In this four class series we take instant awakening, miraculous-ness, independence and sensitivity as our doorways to awakening….read full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindfulness One Minute Mindfulness Presence and being present

The miracle of attention

“Imagine yourself on the side a mountain looking at the sky. For a time simply try and keep 90% of your attention on the sun, the clear sky and the bright clouds. You are not denying the dark clouds, you are just acknowledging the large expanse of “beautiful sky”, and giving yourself time to take it in and enjoy it”

Dear Integral Meditators,

The article below looks at how you can transform your life (miraculously) by transforming your attention. If you enjoy it, do come along to one of the The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom classes this week, either on Tuesday or Wednesday, where we shall be focused on this subject!

In the spirit miraculous attention,

Toby

 

The miracle of attention

The basic proposition of mindfulness is that the world that appears to you can be changed by the way in which you pay attention to it. The art of mindfulness is paying attention to your reality in this moment in the right way, so it gives you the result you want in terms of feeling effective and empowered, as well as ‘happy’ in the way you choose to define that term.
You can think of mindfulness as being ‘miraculous’ in the sense that you can change your experience through your attention in this way. You can literally re-work your reality, transform it and create something else through your focus, kind of like Jesus turning water into wine. It’s not as outwardly explicit as transforming water into wine, but its more miraculous than that in the sense that it offers a genuine, do-able method to grasp control of your perception and experience. The exercise below is one example of how you can start ‘working miracles’ in your life.

Looking out from a mountain side
Imagine you’re sitting on the side of a mountain, looking over a landscape. There is a broad horizon and a big sky in front of you, perhaps with the sun halfway towards setting. There are some clouds in the sky, and some clear patches where the blue and gold of the sky and sun dominate. About 10% of the sky is dark with rainclouds, but the rest is basically a varied and beautiful sky-scape that you can sit and enjoy watching from your mountain-side. As well as the blue and gold, there are lots of other colours, the white of the clouds, and the pinks, oranges and reds when the sun filters through them. On top of this there is also the beauty of the ground level, where there might be fields, lakes and trees.

The sky of your life
Let’s say what Winston Churchill said about worry is true: “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened”.
So, most of our worries don’t happen, but maybe 10-15% do. So then, let’s say we have sixteen waking hours a day. We can allot 10% of that time to either:

  • Thinking and strategizing about our worries intelligently or
  • Just outright worrying!

If 10% of our day is 90mins, then the rest of our day, fourteen and a half hours, we can focus on:

  • The good things in our life
  • Things that help us feel safe and confident
  • Attention to things that help us to relax, regenerate and calm down when we want
  • Attention to things that that help us to feel excited, empowered and energised
  • Things that cause us to grow and learn

If your inner and outer life are like the ‘sky’ in the image above, then during your average day, 90% of your attention should be on the good things, and 10% on your worries. The hypothesis is then that, if you do this, then you are going to have a very different experience of your life. You will have affected a ‘miracle’ in your life, simply by paying attention in a different way.

Trying it out
For 10-15mins, sit quietly, and if you like visualize yourself on the side a mountain looking at the sky as described above. For that time simply try and keep 90% of your attention on the good stuff. You are not denying the dark clouds, you are just acknowledging the large expanse of “beautiful sky”, and giving yourself time to take it in and enjoy it.
If you train in this way regularly, you train your attention to gradually shift from where it is now towards 90% of it being on the things that energise and feed your wellbeing. In this way, gradually, you effect a miracle in your life.

Related article: Meditation as a positive mindfulness game

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

In case you missed this article last week: ‘Head in the Sun’ meditation

This is a simple meditation that combines cultivating a thought-free state with environmental awareness. Specifically, we use brain-relaxation in combination with awareness of the suns light to create the desired experience.

Finding the sun – This first stage is nice to do, and enhances the experience, but is not essential. Glance outside and locate the sun, physically in the sky. Get a sense of where it is in your current landscape. If the sun has gone down already, get a sense of where it is beneath the horizon.

Sitting in landscape – Then take a seat (this can also be done standing or lying and, when your used to it, walking) Send your awareness out to the horizon line in the landscape around you. Get a feel for the curve of the earth’s surface extending around you from your feet, the sun in the sky above, and the living planet beneath you. Breath and relax with this for a short while.
Read full article

Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

In a sentence: Learn the art of ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom through integrative meditation
Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series is an ongoing series that looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention. In this four class series we take instant awakening, miraculous-ness, independence and sensitivity as our doorways to awakening….read full details

Saturday 20th & 27th November – Environmental meditation masterclass & mini-retreat – Working consciously with the forces of nature

In a sentence: Learn to work consciously with the forces of nature and your environment as well develop powerful meditation states.

There is much concern and talk today about the state of the environment and the relationship of humankind to nature. These sessions cover methods to:

  • Attune to the energies of our immediate and larger environment
  • Build a living relationship to the landscape around us
  • Access meditation states based upon our environment that provide deep powerful peace, as well as increasing our energy in an harmonious manner
  • Increase our sense of being a participant in the miracle of nature
  • Inspire us to live an embodied life in tune with the living Earth and Universe around, above and below us

Read full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

Saturday 20th & 27th November – Environmental meditation masterclass & mini-retreat – Working consciously with the forces of nature

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease creative imagery Enlightened Flow Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Resilience Presence and being present Zen Meditation

The meditators secret weapon (the wisdom of non-thinking)

“Once you have non-thinking in the mix, you can then return to your senses and thinking refreshed, really enjoying participating in them, rather than feeling stuck on a continuous ‘hamster wheel’ of thinking and sensing. You can start to think better, and have more fun doing so”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks at the wisdom of non-thinking, one of my favorite subjects!
If you enjoy the article, I have a new series of meditation classes starting this Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th  – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom, its the last series of the year, full of ways to activate your own natural widsom.

Then this weekend I’ll be starting the Environmental meditation masterclass & mini-retreat – Working consciously with the forces of nature. If your curious about how to bond deeply with nature through meditation, then this is a great session to come along to!

In the spirit of natural non-thinking,

Toby

The meditators secret weapon (the wisdom of non-thinking)

What is it about being a meditator that makes you more resilient to stress, the unknown, uncertainty, misfortune and the multitude of life’s other challenges? This is a question that can be answered in a number of different ways, but the one I want to explore here can be captured in one expression: Non-thinking.

The normal pattern of a person’s attention
For most people whilst they are awake, their attention toggles between:

  • Their sensory awareness, navigating physical obstacles, looking at stuff, listening and so on and
  • Thinking. Thinking about what they experience with their senses, about their work, their problems, what to plan, their pleasures ect…

Sensing and thinking, with the attendant emotions and feelings, is the basic pattern of a person’s consciousness. This is fine if life is all non-stress and enjoyment. But if it isn’t all that way like mine (and I suspect yours), then this pattern can become stressful and tiring, especially when your mind cannot stop thinking about stuff, over-analyzing and generally going a bit too fast.

The pattern of a meditator’s daily attention
So of course, a meditators attention also includes sensing and thinking. But as well as these two, her or his awareness also regularly includes non-thinking, or periods of time where they ‘drop out’ of their mind, and let their sensory attention rest also. They practice doing no-thing, going no-where, and being no-one. They let their mind and attention rest in the regenerative state of thoughtlessness.

The joy and wisdom of non-thinking
Initially, non-thinking looks valueless in the sense of nothing seems to be getting done! However, in this state of non-doing:

  • The self can recover its energy and sense of harmony
  • Problem’s ‘change’ in the sense that when you put them down for a while and come back to them, they literally seem different(!)
  • The joy of simple presence becomes manifest
  • You discover that you can be in charge of the pace of your life, rather than your compulsive thinking

The joy of thinking and the senses
Once you have non-thinking in the mix, you can then return to your senses and thinking refreshed, really enjoying participating in them, rather than feeling stuck on a continuous ‘hamster wheel’ of thinking and sensing. You can start to think better, and have more fun doing so!

Glimpsing non-thinking
Its easy to get discouraged with non-thinking, simply because if you are trying to do it for the first time it can seem difficult to do. However, if you watch your mind, you will start to notice that every now and again, naturally there will be a gap in your thoughts. If you notice those spaces as you watch and stay with them, then you start to glimpse non-thinking, just for a second or two at a time. If you practice this for a few minutes each day, then you’ll go from one second to three, to five to ten and so on. Five minutes of this, five days a week over a month will be enough to build your basic competency, which is not much, especially considering what you have to gain!

The sun between the clouds
Once you have your basic non-thinking space, you can brighten it in the following way: Imagine that the spaces between your thoughts are like watching the sky between the clouds. Imagine the sun is shining in that sky, so it is a bright, living space, rather than a blank, cold one. This simple imaginary practice can accelerate the speed at which you are able to experience the brighter, living dimensions of your consciousness that lie beyond your thinking mind. These levels are deeply regenerative and help give a glow to your whole interior space.
Enjoy your non-thinking!

Related article: Awakening to your innate wisdom

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

In a sentence: Learn the art of ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom through integrative meditation
Overview: The Wisdom of Awakening series is an ongoing series that looks at different ways to ‘wake up’ and live your life fully and playfully through meditation. The premise of the sessions is that inner wholeness and wisdom are not something that are far away, rather they are something that we can awaken to ‘instantly’ through certain types of mindful attention. In this four class series we take instant awakening, miraculous-ness, independence and sensitivity as our doorways to awakening….read full details

Saturday 20th & 27th November – Environmental meditation masterclass & mini-retreat – Working consciously with the forces of nature

In a sentence: Learn to work consciously with the forces of nature and your environment as well develop powerful meditation states.

There is much concern and talk today about the state of the environment and the relationship of humankind to nature. These sessions cover methods to:

  • Attune to the energies of our immediate and larger environment
  • Build a living relationship to the landscape around us
  • Access meditation states based upon our environment that provide deep powerful peace, as well as increasing our energy in an harmonious manner
  • Increase our sense of being a participant in the miracle of nature
  • Inspire us to live an embodied life in tune with the living Earth and Universe around, above and below us

Read full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby
 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday 16/Wednesday 17th November – The Wisdom of Awakening series: Meditations for ‘instant awakening’ and playful wisdom

Saturday 20th & 27th November – Environmental meditation masterclass & mini-retreat – Working consciously with the forces of nature

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Biographical Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Mindfully dis-agreeable

Dear Integral Meditators,

One of the reasons we shy away from dis-agreeable people and energy is that it can feel pretty volatile, even violent at times. This doesn’t mean we can avoid it however, it makes it an even more important aspect of ourselves that we need to master in the right way. The article below explores how to do start doing this.

Heads up for this weeks Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session on Tuesday & Wednesday evenings, and for the start next Monday of  The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood.

In the spirit of agreeably dis-agreeable,

Toby

Mindfully dis-agreeable

Recently I’ve been encountering some dis-agreeable people in my life, and I’ve also noticed my coaching clients are facing a few as well! Being by nature a fairly agreeable person, I find dealing with people who are dis-agreeable quite challenging. This is not necessarily because they are ‘bad’ and I am ‘good’. Rather it is because they feel comfortable and even enjoy conflict, whereas for me I prefer reconciliation, co-operation, consideration and other ‘agreeable’ ways of interacting. Over the years it’s become very clear to me that, if you are a kind gentle person without an appropriately dis-agreeable side, then this places you at a big dis-advantage in life. You need to have access to gentleness and kindness, balanced by the capacity to manage conflict appropriately.

The higher and lower expressions of dis-agreeable
One of the reasons you might be reluctant to embrace your dis-agreeable side is that you confuse it with outright negativity. You may equate dis-agreeable with qualities like:

  • Delusional and paranoid
  • Grumpy or negatively angry
  • Unreasonable
  • Emotionally immature or stunted
  • Sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies
  • Physically or psychologically abusive or violent

However, dis-agreeable can also mean the appropriate, balanced capacity to be appropriately

  • Assertive and powerful
  • Just and fair
  • Protective of self and others
  • Defend boundaries
  • Stand up to bullies
  • Tell the and/or your truth

This second list of dis-agreeable qualities I think you can see are important to develop and own within yourself.

Agreeable is always good?
Contrastingly, we often have the idea that ‘agreeable’ is always a good quality. It means you are a person who is kind, caring, conciliatory, looking for compromise, considerate and so on. However, the lower quality of imbalanced agreeable people includes

  • Being submissive and weak
  • Running away from conflict
  • Avoiding reality, living in a dreamworld
  • Can’t speak up for themselves
  • Avoids an argument of conversation that needs having
  • Is an escapist
  • Represses their anger and becomes vulnerable to depression or low self-esteem

So then, to learn to be ‘good’ at dis-agreeability means:

  • To learn to be happy to be in conflict with someone and hold your space/position
  • Stop hoping the other person will be reasonable, and just take each transaction one at a time without overly stressing about it
  • Learn to tolerate and even enjoy dis-agreements
  • To not be intimidated by the anger or aggression of others
  • To own your own positive anger and aggression in the service of the good and the true

One of the reasons we shy away from dis-agreeable energy is that it can feel pretty volatile and even violent at times. This doesn’t mean we can avoid it however, it makes it an even more important aspect of our energy that we need to master in the right way!
The next time you are in a space where there is conflict, and where there are dis-agreeable people around, pay attention, there is a lot to train in and get mindfully better at!

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Tues 19th & Weds 20th October – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

About the meditation: We all live our life within an environment that consists fundamentally/experientially of the Earth, Moon, Sun and Stars. The monthly lunar cycle describes our relationship to the Moon, and the powerful influence that it has on our life. In the physical world we see this influence most obviously in the tides of the sea. In our inner life we experience it as the coming and going of energy, moods and emotions within our psyche. This meditation, done on or around the full moon capitalises on the heightened lunar energies at this time of the month to…read full details

Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving in your life as a man?

Much is asked of men in their traditional roles as fathers and sons, partners and husbands, students and teachers, employees and employers. The men’s group is a professionally moderated and confidential forum for men. A forum is a safe place for exploring, learning and sharing the successful perspectives, skills, and strategies needed to address and manage the unique issues, problems, and triumphs in our community…read full details

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Samhain (Aka All hallows eve, or Halloween) is the time in the northern hemisphere when we enter the darker months of the year & winter. Traditionally it is said to be the time when the veil between the world of the living and the inner world of our ancestors is said to be thinnest. Consequently, it is an ideal time for us to commune with our ancestors in meditation…read full details

Friday 5th November 7.30-8.30pm – Online New moon beginners mind, health visualization & envisioning session

About the session: This class is done monthly around the turn of the new moon and enable us to open to new beginnings, new possibilities and make a fresh start, specifically with regard to physical health and psychological wellbeing
“A picture speaks a thousand words” as the saying goes! In meditation we use  two main methods:

  • Visualization – The conscious use of images and imagery to invoke a better present moment and future experience of health
  • Envisioning – The seeking of spontaneous inner visions that connect us to sources of health & support in the imaginal world, and inspire us toward greater levels of energy energy and wellbeing

Read full details…

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Life Coaching and Meditation coaching 3-6month packages are on a 15% offer up until Weds 20th October. If getting some coaching is an idea you have been contemplating, then this is a good opportunity to get it and save some money on the price. 

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Begins Tues 14/Weds 15th September – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

Saturday October 16th & 23rd, 10am-4pm – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

Starts Monday October 25th – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Friday 5th November 7.30-8.30pm – Online New moon beginners mind, health visualization & envisioning session

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight creative imagery Integral Awareness Integrating Ego, Soul and Spirit Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present

Mastering the cycle of thoughts & emotions

‘Everyday, for most of the day, your thoughts and emotions are interacting with each other. Your basic sense of wellness or not on the psychological level depends in large part on how you are managing this dependent relationship’

 

Dear Integral Meditators,

The article below looks at mastery of thoughts and emotions, and how we can start to master the dynamic between them using mindfulness.
If you enjoy the article, them this weeks Tuesday and Wednesday polarity meditation classes will be focused on this subject!
Live attendance is limited to 10pax per class, so advanced booking is necessary if you want to coe live, rather than online.

In the spirit of inner balance,

Toby

Mastering the cycle of thoughts & emotions

Thoughts and emotions – Our basic everyday psychological dynamic
Everyday, for most of the day, your thoughts and emotions are interacting with each other. Your basic sense of wellness or not on the psychological level depends in large part on how you are managing this dependent relationship. So, to begin, start to watch and notice the dependent relationship between thoughts and emotions in your daily life. Also notice that in this cycle are actions and reactions. We think, then we feel, then we do, we experience a reaction to what we do, which creates feeling, that creates thoughts, that creates actions and so on….

Noticing the influence of the body and environment
If you start to watch, you will also notice feeling and instincts from the body affecting this cycle; a balanced body makes it easier to think and emote well, an imbalanced one makes it more difficult. You will also notice that the inverse is also true; you can to a large degree create wellness in the body by thinking and feeling in a balanced way.
Your environment and outer interactions stimulate a lot of thinking and feeling. Again, notice the dependent relationship; you can create outer wellness by balancing your thinking and feeling, or your thinking and feeling can create outer chaos for you!

‘Not letting difficult feelings become negative emotions and thoughts’
This is a principle that I’ve been using a lot recently. You can substantially break the cycle of negative thinking and emoting by accepting, owning and looking after difficult feelings, not letting them provoke further reactions. Yesterday afternoon I was feeling fairly low and despondent, by accepting and looking after the feeling, and focusing on some good thoughts and experiences, I was feeling back to balance and wellness by the early evening. It could have spiralled, but it didn’t because I held to the principle.

Being guided by the higher mind and intentions
Another super practical principal I find works well is to allow my thinking to be guided by higher philosophical principles. For example, if I can hold to and align my thinking around the Platonic principles of the good, the beautiful and the true (another triad is justice, compassion and harmony), then I find my thinking tends to help me navigate out of a bunch or situations that would otherwise create a lot of negativity emotions wise.

The wheel of fortune
Imagine your everyday thinking and feeling as like a wheel spinning around you. You are sitting in the ‘hub’ of the wheel, watching it spin. As you watch, you can choose to occasionally intervene in the dynamic; introducing thoughts and emotions, or letting go of them. As you relax into the process notice how you can:

  1. Maintain balance by simply watching and holding that observational position
  2. Affect the balance by intervening strategically

This is a simple image that can take you a long way in meditation, and bring you experiential mastery of the polarity between your thoughts and feelings.

Related articles: Finding the center of the wheel
A wheel spinning  out of balance

Article & content © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Ongoing weekly sessions – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

In a sentence: Learn how to integrate different aspects of yourself and your world into complementary polarities in order to increase your internal harmony, strength and wellbeing

Overview: Polarity meditation is a tradition of meditation that has its precedent in both eastern and western forms of meditation. In the east it is found in Taoist meditation with yin & yang, and in the west within the Tree of Life & Qabalah. In this series we will be focusing on polarities
Read full details…

Saturday October 16th & 23rd – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

In a sentence: Learn unique Taoist breathing techniques to improve your immune system, energy level, psychological wellness and improve your meditation.

Overview: According to the ancient Chinese view, the vital force provided by air through breathing is even more important to health and longevity than that provided by food and water through digestion. The way in which we breathe is also a direct reflection of the levels of stress that we are feeling; when we feel calm our breathing becomes deep and regular, when we feel stress our breathing becomes shallower and quicker…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Begins Tues 14/Weds 15th September – Integral Polarity Meditation – Exploring Earth, Lunar & ‘Vertical’ Polarities

Saturday 25th September – Meditations for Transforming Negativity and Stress into Energy, Positivity and Enlightenment Masterclass & Mini-retreat

Saturday October 23rd, 10am-4pm – Breathwork Masterclass & Mini-Retreat– Improve physical immunity, wellbeing and inner peace though deep breathing

Tues & Weds 26&27th October – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology