Category: Meditation and Psychology

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Awareness and insight Enlightened service Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope

Self-responsibility – Becoming a self-determining entity

Dear Integral Meditators,

What is the link between mindfulness and self-responsibility? This weeks article explores the interface of these two.

In the spirit of self-determination,

Toby

 

 

 

 

Self-responsibility – Becoming a self-determining entity

We are surrounded by forces that are attempting to move us in one direction or another, capture our attention, stimulate desire, take our energy. We can experience this directly these days by going on our phone: Social media competes with email and Whatsapp for our attention. Advertisers seek to get our attention to buy their products. Often we go on our phone with one intention, but end up doing another thing! Of course, it’s not just our phone where this happens. Cultural and social forces place pressure upon us to conform, as does peer pressure and the fear of missing out. Amidst all of this what we really want, what will really make us happy, what we really seek to achieve can get completely lost amidst the distraction.
One if the things I find most inspiring about mindfulness is that it enables me to take charge of direction and action in my life. It enables me to become what Nathaniel Branden called a ‘Self-determining entity’.  What this means is someone who controls their destiny and direction, someone who is organised enough to stay focused on the face of distractions. In short, someone who is taking responsibility for their life.

Awareness and acceptance
Before we talk about being responsible, in mindfulness terms we need to talk about becoming more aware and accepting. It’s difficult to take responsibility for our life if we lack rudimentary self and environmental awareness, and if we are continually fighting with our reality rather than accepting it. You can read a bit more about these in my previous articles on self-awareness and acceptance.

What am I responsible for?
One simple guiding question I ask myself a lot is “What is it that I am responsible for in this situation?” I try to discern the things that I need to grasp and direct. For example, I am primarily always responsible for the care of my emotions, thoughts, and physical body. Other people can help and assist, but it is my responsibility. In a team context I need to know what my role is, and what I am responsible for communicating. Questioning in this way helps me to grasp and own responsibility for what is mine.

What am I not responsible for?
A second and often equally important question I ask is “What am I not responsible for here?“, or “What is the responsibility of others here?” Quite often without realizing it we take on responsibility for the problems, emotions and tasks of others without realizing we have done so. For example, I need to be there to support my daughter and what she is going through, but if I try and solve all her problems for her, I am actually denying her opportunities for growth and self-knowledge.
Also, some people are actively (tho often unconsciously) looking to evade responsibility for their challenges, and to push them onto someone else. We can easily find ourselves wrestling with and having our energy taken away by things that are, quite simply not our responsibility.

What do I need to take responsibility for today?
Think about what you face today, or over the next 24 hours. Mindfully frame it within the context of self-responsibility. What is your responsibility to own/solve/carry, and what is not? Your journey to responsible self-empowerment begins today.

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Watch Toby’s short video on taking responsibility: 

 

Saturday 6th & 20th February – Meditations on the Language of Your Shadow – Masterclass and Mini-retreat

Are you interested in learning a form of meditation that will:

  • Help you to get in touch with a deeper level of psychological harmony and wellbeing within yourself?
  • Access new levels of energy and confidence?
  • Discover and heal hidden aspects of your psyche that are currently sabotaging your happiness in daily life and transforming them into something useful and powerful within you?

Read full details

Tuesday 9th & Wednesday 10th February – Lunar New Year Meditation 2020: Developing your stamina, willpower and self-confidence in the year of the Ox This is a meditation to welcome in the lunar new year energies, and attune to the astrological animal of the year, the Ox!
In particular, we will be mindfully aligning with and developing our inner-stamina, willpower and self-confidence, which are personal characteristics of the Ox.
Toby will be leading the meditation as a simple and profound way, with plenty of room for our own personal contemplation, inner healing and positivity building!
Read full details
Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

 

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 2nd & Wednesday 3rd Feb, 7.30-8.30pm – Bright, Mother and Weaver Goddess meditation

Saturday 6th & 20th February – Meditations on the Language of Your Shadow – Masterclass and Mini-retreat

Tuesday 9th & Wednesday 10th February – Lunar New Year Meditation 2020: Developing your stamina, willpower and self-confidence in the year of the Ox

Starting February 23rd/24th – Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course (Full details soon)

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

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Awareness and insight Concentration Inner vision Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope

Intention, dedication, meditation (Start the new year on purpose)

“We can use our intention and dedication to start to radiate out ripples of good energy into the world. We may not know the precise effects they have, but we start to feel the energy we give returning to us many-fold in all sorts of different ways.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Wishing you a 2021 full of wonder and wondering!
This weeks article looks at the power of intention and dedication, and how to integrate them into your meditation practice and life.

In the spirit of intention & dedication,

Toby

Intention, dedication, meditation 

Why are you meditating?
Instead of just taking up meditation to as a way of dealing with stress, why not really articulate why you are doing it as a way of setting the energy when you start? For example, you might think:

“I am doing this meditation practice to bring strength, balance and calm to myself,
to bring benefit and wellbeing to my circle of influence (friends, family colleagues etc)
and to contribute to the wellbeing and balance of all beings on earth, and the Earth herself.”

If you spend a short while setting your intention in this way at the beginning of a session, you will find that the action of meditating feels quite different. It has a focused purpose and, although it is a simple act, you are sending the energy from it out into the world to bring conscious benefit and wellbeing. Setting your intention makes your meditation more powerful.

Directing through dedicating
Similarly, at the end of the meditation you can spend a few moments dedicating the energy of your meditation thinking or saying something like:

“May my meditation be a cause for my own inner strength and wellbeing,
May it enable me to bring benefit and love to my circle of influence,
And may it be a cause for the wellbeing and balance of all beings on Earth”

You can compose your own little intention and dedication verses if you like, using words that resonate for you. I always include these three levels; myself, my circle of influence and the global community as a whole. If you want to dedicate for particular groups of people, or towards the resolution of particular problems or challenges, of course you can do that too.

The tradition of intention and dedication
When I first began meditating seriously in the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition, intention and dedication was one of the first things that we were taught. Intention and dedication can be powerful meditations in themselves. Simply focusing for a few minutes on the intention to love and bring benefit to others or yourself can really change your experience of what you are going through. It gives you purpose and direction where previously there was none. In mindfulness terms the question we should be asking ourselves often and developing conscious intention around is:

“Why and for what am I doing this?”

Applying intention and dedication to other activities
Once you get into the habit of setting intention and dedicating in meditation you can start applying with it in other activities. You can eat with the intention of using the energy to benefit your family, work with the intention to benefit the wellbeing of customers and colleagues. You can dedicate your small positive actions in the day to the wellbeing of the planet. Using intention and dedication in this way we can start to radiate out ripples of good energy into the world. We may not know the precise effects they have, but we start to feel the energy we give returning to us many-fold in all sorts of different ways.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com

Starts Tuesday 5/6th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – A four-week course

This is both a Live & Livestream, four-week course

Overview: Integral Meditation Practice (IMP) is a different kind of mind-body training, that aims to provide optimal inner peace, centeredness, energy and insight for the contemporary meditation practitioner. It combines eastern and western forms of practice, as well as ancient and modern ones into a series of integrative practices. The practices enable the meditator to remain resilient, energized and creative in the face of the multi-faceted challenges of modern life. These four classes give an introduction to IMP, in a simple, accessible manner.

The course modules:

Tuesdays 5th, Weds 6th Jan, Module 1 – An introduction to mindful flow: How to build good quality focus in meditation and in daily life by accessing flow states. In this session we will also cover what meditation and mindfulness are and the value of practicing them in daily life.

Tues 12th, Weds 13th Jan, Module 2 – Integral Meditation Practice 1: Simplicity, awareness, positivity, creativity (Note: Wednesday class for Module 2 is online only)

Tues 19th, Weds 20th Jan, Module 3 – Integral Meditation Practice 2: Building a mind of ease, relaxation and wellbeing

Tues 26th, Weds 27th Jan, Module 4 – How to create your own integral meditations! (Note: Wednesday class for Module 4 is online only)
Read full details

Saturday 9th & 23rd January – Shamanic meditation Masterclass and Mini-retreat

In a sentence: Learn how to practice the fundamentals of the most ancient meditation tradition on the planet in a clear, practical and concise manner, and understand its relevance and value to you and the challenges that you face in your life.

  • The Masterclass on the 9th January will give an overview and introduce some simple but profound shamanic practices
  • The Mini-retreat on the 23rd will be a deeper dive into Shamanic meditation practices

Read full details

Re-starts Monday January 11th! – 7-8.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving in your life as a man?

Much is asked of men in their traditional roles as fathers and sons, partners and husbands, students and teachers, employees and employers. The men’s group is a professionally moderated and confidential forum for men. A forum is a safe place for exploring, learning and sharing the successful perspectives, skills, and strategies needed to address and manage the unique issues, problems, and triumphs in our community.
Read full details…

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

 

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday 5/6th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – A four-week course

Saturday 9th & 23rd January – Shamanic meditation Masterclass and Mini-retreat

Re-starts Monday January 11th, 7-8.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Inner vision Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology mindful dreaming

Your emotional feeling tones

“By starting to notice and to play around with your emotional tones, you discover that you can ‘change the song of your life’ like a composer re-working her compositions.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article points out some playful ways to work with your emotional experience and range using mindfulness, I hope you enjoy it!
Last call for the 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation, The Wednesday live class is already full, there are a few live slots for the Tuesday session, and of course online attendance is possible.

I am currently plotting the events for January 2021, watch this space!

In the spirit of composing your feelings,

Toby

Your emotional feeling tones

One way of thinking about emotions is that they are ‘The feeling tone associated with any experience’. By experience here I mean a broad range of things:

  • Different thoughts you have
  • Of a conversation or social interaction
  • Of a place; its atmosphere and ‘tone’
  • Of an image or memory that comes into your mind
  • In response to something that happens to you
  • Of a time of day

Each experience has a different feeling tone, like the note on a musical scale. Moreover, our own feeling tones are interacting with the emotional tones of other people and of our environment. Sometimes this creates a beautiful symphony, and sometimes this creates an almighty racket!
We are not in charge of the feeling tones of others, but we can start to become more aware of our own habitual feeling tones and patterns. If we do this we can then start to see how we can change our feeling tones and moods for the better, and put them into more beautiful ‘musical combinations’ with each other. Ways of starting to do this include:

  • Noticing the feeling tone that arise with particular thoughts, images and memories you have. Rather than looking at the content of the thought, look at the emotional tone of it.
  • With particular patterns of thought and image, you will notice that the feeling tones they produce for you are brighter and more harmonious. You can focus on deliberately holding these thoughts and images as a way of raising the vibration of your feeling tones.
  • You will notice that there are some images related to landscape and place that, when you think of them naturally raise your emotional tone. Likewise passages of music, images of characters in stories that you know (and so on) can all lift your overall feeling tone.
  • If you notice that you get stuck in a negative or ‘low level’ feeling tone, you can practice just experiencing it as a feeling tone, rather than taking the content too personally!
  • If you notice that a friend or colleague you spend time with really lifts your feeling tones, then deliberately open to them and allow their tones to affect you when you are with them. Similarly, if there is someone whose emotional tones bring yours down, then when you are with them, then practice ‘closing’ your energy to them in their company, so you are not so affected.

In a coaching session the other day I explained to a client that sometimes it is like your range of feeling tones is a bit like being one type of composer. Maybe if you notice are a more ‘serious’ composer like a Wagner or a Beethoven, you might like to introduce another composer into the mix. For example, you could practice creating more playful feeling tones like a Mozart or a Vivaldi. Or if your feeling tones are all ‘heavy metal’ you might like to practice creating feeling tones like a Prince, Taylor Swift or other more whimsical pop star. Of course this works the other way around; if you are all Taylor Swift and Mozart, maybe practice bringing a bit more gravitas into your feeling tones.
When you start to work mindfully with your feeling tones, it can be very creative and playful. By starting to notice and to play around with your emotional tones, you discover that you can ‘change the song of your life’ like a composer re-working her compositions.
Enjoy playing with your feeling tones!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com

 

Tues 29th & Weds 30th Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation
About the class: This meditation session is focused upon  setting up the 2021 new year energies in a way that invites the best possible experience moving forward. We will be:

  • Releasing and letting go of energies, events and experiences from the past year that may hold us back from moving into our full potential, and
  • Developing a flexible, soft, ‘beginners mind’, renewed and ready to be ‘born again’ with energy and enthusiasm in 2019
  • Focusing both consciously and intuitively upon the inviting of new energies, aspirations and goals that we wish to bring in and manifest over the course of the new year

Full details…

Re-starts Monday January 11th! – 7-8.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving in your life as a man?

Much is asked of men in their traditional roles as fathers and sons, partners and husbands, students and teachers, employees and employers. The men’s group is a professionally moderated and confidential forum for men. A forum is a safe place for exploring, learning and sharing the successful perspectives, skills, and strategies needed to address and manage the unique issues, problems, and triumphs in our community.
Read full details…

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

 

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tues 29th & Weds 30th Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Re-starts Monday January 11th! – 7-8.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

January 16th & 23rd – Shamanic meditation and mini-retreat (Details to follow!)

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindfulness Presence and being present Stress Transformation

The Art of Non-emergency

“Spending a few minutes each day recognizing and relaxing into safety can really help you take the idea of non-emergency into an actual experience that you can use to change the quality of your life.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

I hope you have been enjoying the Winter Solstice period!

This weeks article is a fundamental integral meditation practice from my point of view, it sets up a whole bunch of good effects in your body mind and heart, and opens up a world of stability and ease.

Seasonal blessings and best wishes to all of you!

Toby

The Art of Non-emergency

The feeling of emergency
There are many things in our life that can stimulate the feeling within us that we are in a dangerous and ‘emergency’ state:

  • Uncertainty around Covid and the economy
  • Being overwhelmed by the amount of information and choices that we have to make
  • Having difficulties and unresolved conflicts in our relationships
  • Past unresolved emotions and expereinces within ourself
  • Some chemical things like just having too much caffeine in your system

The list goes on, but the essential feeling is similar; our nervous system becomes primed for ‘fight or flight’ mode much of the time, and we spend a lot of our life living as if we were in real danger of immanent disaster!

Reality checking your emergency
Let’s check this against reality:

  • How much of your day yesterday was a real actual emergency?
  • In the next day, what is the likelihood of you being in real, life-threatening danger?
  • If you gave yourself permission to really relax and take it easy for the next half-hour, would this be inviting immanent disaster?

The answers to these questions when you ask them is pretty obvious. We have spent maybe 0.05% of our life in real danger. The rest of the time is a relative non-emergency. There is very rarely a time, if ever when it is appropriate to say, ‘I have no room for any relaxation in this moment, I cannot relax!’

The discipline of non-emergency
So, our paranoid mind is saying our life is a dangerous trap, and emergency. We check this against reality and find that life is almost all a non-emergency. As a mindfulness practice we can then practice the discipline of recognizing the state of non-emergency and enjoy relaxing into it for substantial periods of our day. We can relax into non-emergency at the same time as being productive and trouble shooting problems. Non-emergency can be an active or passive state. Either way it is restorative, enjoyable and keeps us in touch with our basic sanity!

Non-emergency gives you space to deal with difficult things
Being firmly grounded in state of non-emergency gives us resilience and intelligence when navigating difficult and tense problems. Because we aren’t panicking, we don’t burn out and we don’t waste energy. We can hold uncertainty, intense emotion, volatility and so forth without being knocked off balance.

Calm under pressure – Non-emergency helps you recognize a real emergency
If your good at non-emergency, this will also help you recognize a real emergency and deal with it well. Last week my wife and I went to a first-aid for infants workshop. The essential message of the facilitator was that, in an emergency the impulse is to panic, but the best thing to do is remain calm and act systematically and rationally. Being solidly familiar with the non-emergency state will give you the presence of mind to stay calm under pressure and deal with real emergencies calmly and effectively.

Formal practice
Spending a few minutes each day recognizing and relaxing into safety can really help you take the idea of non-emergency into an actual experience that you can use to change the quality of your life. Just breathe in and recognize the non-emergency, breathe out relax into it. There you go, you’ve already begun the journey!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com

Re-starts Monday January 11th! – 7-8.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving in your life as a man?

Much is asked of men in their traditional roles as fathers and sons, partners and husbands, students and teachers, employees and employers. The men’s group is a professionally moderated and confidential forum for men. A forum is a safe place for exploring, learning and sharing the successful perspectives, skills, and strategies needed to address and manage the unique issues, problems, and triumphs in our community.
Read full details…

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tues 29th & Weds 30th Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Re-starts Monday January 11th! – 7-8.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Self-Leadership Primal Spirituality

Working mindfully with your subconscious mind

“As the conscious mind you are trying to connect to your subconscious mind with a sense of care and warmth, inviting co-operation and teamwork”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks at how you can start using mindfulness to work with your subconscious mind, enjoy!
Beneath the article is the full line up for classes and workshops for December, there is a lot of variety to choose from!
This  weeks Tuesday and Wednesday meditation 1st & 2nd December are the Monthly full moon manifestation meditations, you are all welcome, live or online.

In the spirit of the subconscious,

Toby

Working mindfully with your subconscious mind

Mindfulness – Strengthening the executive function of the conscious mind
Mindfulness is essentially attention and awareness training. As such it involves primarily strengthening the executive power of your conscious mind to direct your attention to create desired experiences and make better choices. Implicitly, part of mindfulness involves becoming aware of and working with our subconscious mind and its functions. This is where mindfulness backs onto the arena of disciplines like hypnosis, which specializes in working with the subconscious. My shadow meditation method and coaching is also an example of working directly with elements of the subconscious mind. Since our subconscious plays such a powerful part in creating our life experience, its well worth developing our proficiency in working with it.

Horse and rider – Creating a benevolent, co-operative relationship between your conscious and subconscious minds
Your subconscious mind is a repository of your instincts, biology, habits, and past experiences. As such its energy is a lot ‘stronger’ than the conscious mind. If you try and dominate your subconscious by sheer force of will, you are only going to get so far. One simple image is that of a horse and rider. The conscious mind is the rider, the SCM is like the horse. The horse is much stronger than the rider, but if the rider can tame the horse and establish a co-operative relationship, then the power of the horse becomes at the service of the rider.

An attitude of care and warmth – Establishing trust
So if you are going to work with your SCM, it needs to trust you, and your intention toward it (like a horse with someone who wishes to ride it). As the conscious mind then, you are trying to connect to your SCM with a sense of care and warmth, inviting co-operation and teamwork.

Intention, instruction, direction
With this attitude of benevolence and trust established, you can then practice feeding your SCM intentions, auto-suggestions images and directives according to what you want it to do for and with you. There are a larger number of ways to do this, for example:

  • You can create an inner place or landscape where you can sit and invite your SCM to release repressed or unacknowledged emotions for healing
  • You can suggest to it ways of seeing the world that are in alignment with your life goals
  • You can program it to react to certain scenarios in a particular way when it comes up in real time

One point to realize is that you are making suggestions signalling to your subconscious mind all the time anyway. Most of the time this is habitual and unconscious. If we can start doing it consciously and deliberately, then it can change our experience for the better.

A simple example
Right now from around 11.30pm-5am every night, I am in charge of feeding and caring for our baby. That is a clear instruction to my subconscious mind. As a result I am very sensitive to our babies sound and movement. As soon as anything starts to happen, I wake up, get up and attend to her. After 5am its my wife’s turn, and again that is a clear message to my subconscious mind. As a result the baby is crying and making a ruckus, if it is after 5am, generally I sleep right through it, even if she is right on the bed next to me. My SCM has knows it doesn’t need to alert me when the baby cries, so I sleep!
That’s a small example of the power your SCM has to create and define your experience.

What ways can you start mindfully working with your subconscious mind today?

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com

Tuesday & Wednesday 1st & 2nd Dec @ 7.30-8.30pm – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

We all live our life within an environment that consists fundamentally/experientially of the Earth, Moon, Sun and Stars. The monthly lunar cycle describes our relationship to the Moon, and the powerful influence that it has on our life. In the physical world we see this influence most obviously in the tides of the sea. In our inner life we experience it as the coming and going of energy, moods and emotions within our psyche. This meditation, done on or around the full moon capitalises on the heightened lunar energies at this time of the month. Read full details

Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty

Anxiety is a natural response to uncertainty and change, but for many of us the experience of anxiety is disturbing, upsetting, draining and stressful. This session focuses on practical ways to change your relationship to anxiety by:

  • Accepting and working with your causes of anxiety
  • Building greater awareness and appreciation of the things that give you stability and security in life
  • Learning to think effectively and wisely around uncertainties and problems that are causing you anxiety

Read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

 

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday & Wednesday 1st & 2nd Dec @ 7.30-8.30pm – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty

Tues & Weds 15th, 16th  December, 7.30-8.30pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

Saturday December 19th, 2.30-5pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Tues 29th & Weds 30th Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Categories
Awareness and insight creative imagery Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Inner vision Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Shadow meditation

Your bright shadow – The one who can do what you can’t

“The sum total of all the hidden strengths that you have within yourself but are in denial around is sometimes called the ‘bright shadow’”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores a topic that has been very present and important in my own practice for a good while now, the bright shadow. Some parts require careful reading, but I believe you’ll find it worth it if you do!

In the spirit of the bright & luminous,

Toby

Your bright shadow – The one who can do what you can’t

Your shadow is
A good working definition of our shadow self is: “All the parts of our personality and self that are unacceptable to our self-image”. Because these parts of ourself are unacceptable to our idea of who we think we are, most people repress and deny them psychologically, hence they get pushed into the ‘shadows’ of our unconscious mind. From their position in the unconscious, our shadow then tries to push its agenda from, without the awareness of the conscious mind.

Its not just your dark shadow that is unacceptable
A lot of the conversation about the shadow is about the so called ‘dark’ side of it. We repress violent parts of ourself, sometimes sexual elements, aspects of power, domination and a range of other destructive emotions. The specifics of course varies from person to person, as we all have a different self image.
But it is not just the so perceived ‘negative’ qualities that we repress. There are many strengths and ‘bright’ qualities that we also repress for the same simple reason: They are not part of who we think we are and what we think we are capable of, so we don’t identify with them, even though they are present within us. The sum total of all these hidden strengths within ourelf is sometimes called the ‘bright shadow’.

The bright shadow as an already present part of you
In the last couple of years the way in which I have been working with my own bright shadow is imagining it as an already complete and capable part of myself that I connect to in visualization, and then begin to imagine myself AS. This is a bit like Tantric meditation, where you accelerate the speed at which you achieve the results by imagining strongly that you have already achieved it!

A few examples
Here are a few aspects of my bright shadow that I have been working with in the last 12 months:

  • The bright part of me that is strong and confident in the face of uncertainty, and the twists and turns of fortune
  • The bright part of me that is happy being somewhat vulnerable and afraid, enjoying it and not having to hide behind so much ‘surface level’ manly strength
  • This week I wasn’t feeling well physically, as had to rest. I connected to that part of my bright shadow whose sense of confidence was not connected to physical well-being, and can navigate these few days relatively easily and happily despite the discomfort.

The basic method
In each of these examples the process is basically the same, I visualize my bright shadow, imagining him as already present whole and complete. I then study and relate to him. When ready I imagine myself AS him, living and experiencing this moment as if I fully possess his qualities and capacities.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  

Saturday 21st November 2.30-5.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

The RESULTS that you can expect to gain from engaging in this workshop are:

  • The ability to self-heal parts of your psyche that are in pain and in need care and attention
  • A greater feeling of overall wholeness and wellbeing
  • More physical, mental and spiritual energy in your daily life
  • Deeper self-understanding, reduced fear and greater emotional freedom
  • Greater harmony and success in your relationships with other people (because you no longer project your shadow onto them)
  • Full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in November:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 21st November 2.30-5.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Biographical creative imagery Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditating on the Self meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindfulness

Liberation from your roles & labels – Three examples

“The essential art of mindfully liberating ourself from our roles and names is to recognizing a role, name or label that we identify with closely, Learn to “drop” or dis-identify ourself from that role and then to then pick up and play the role with freedom in a newly interpreted and useful way”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Quite a lot of the coaching and corporate work I do these days involves playing mindfully with roles, names and labels. In the article below I outline the process and give three practical examples, so you can start playing the game in your own life!
Saturday 3-5pm I’ll be facilitating the Mindfulness masterclass: Liberation & creativity through the observer self (Finding freedom in your roles) , if you enjoy the article, then do feel free to join us, either in person or online!

Last call for the annual meditation on our own inner light in the run up to Deepavali this Tuesday and Wednesday evening.
And finally, this Sunday there is the New moon health visualization and envisioning session

In the spirit if mindful creativity,

Toby

Liberation from your roles & labels – Three examples

Much of the structure of our ego and self-concept basically revolves around names, roles and labels that we have become familiar with and identify with closely

  • “I am the troubleshooter in my business team”
  • “I am the arty child in the family”
  • “I am a victim because of this or that event”
  • “My value is that I am an academically qualified doctor”

These roles and labels give us some security in the sense of having an identity, but they also limit us and prevent us from growing. The essential art of mindfully liberating ourself from our roles and names is:

  1. Recognizing a role, name or label that we identify with closely
  2. Learning to “drop” or dis-identify ourself from that role, to separate our identity from it
  3. To then pick up and play the role with freedom in a newly interpreted and useful way
  4. To try out other roles and labels that are different from or opposite from the original, and integrate them into our ‘identity repetoire’

Three examples:

The inner critic becomes the intelligent critical thinker
In a corporate training last week I led on “Aspiring to excellence whilst dancing with imperfection”, we spent some of the time recognizing the ‘negative perfectionist‘ that many high performers identify with. We put that role down, and then after a while picked it up again and re-interpreted it as the ‘good quality critical thinker‘ that is constructive and helpful with regard to producing great work. We also began to play with the role of the ‘Non-judgmental self‘ as a complementary contrast.

The invulnerable one one becomes the vulnerable one
For a long time I was quite identified with ‘the invulnerable one‘ or the one who feels no fear. In a workshop on emotions about 2 years ago I focused on putting down that label and allowing myself to feel fear and venerability. By doing so I was able to start playing with and integrating the positive expression of ‘the vulnerable self‘ into my personality and daily actions. The ‘invulnerable one’ remains available to me, but I am no longer compulsively identified with it, I can pick it up or put it down as I wish.

The messy one and the one in control
With the recent addition of my baby daughter Liv to the family, I found myself struggling as the one who wanted things to be ‘ordered and in control‘. As life is naturally quite messy when you have a baby, I practiced putting down the ‘ordered’ label and playing with an ‘I’m happy for things to be messy’ label. As a result, I was able to relax into the chaos more and enjoy the process! That doesn’t mean I no longer play the ‘ordered one’ or the ‘one in control’, it just means I play it when its useful and appropriate, not unconsciously and inappropriately.

Enjoy playing with your roles, names and labels with creativity and freedom!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  

Saturday 14th November, 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Liberation & creativity through the observer self (Finding freedom in your roles)

Learn how you can use mindfulness to find liberation from and creative freedom within the roles, names and labels you identify with in your life
Almost all of our lives are spent playing out different roles, names and labels that we have become identified with over the course of time. These roles and labels define our sense of who we are and, to a large extent what we believe is possible for us…
Full details

 

Tues 10th, Weds 11th November, 7.30-8.30pm – Deepavali Meditation – Connecting to your inner light

In this session we will be taking some time to:

  • Connect to our own ‘inner light’ in meditation, as a way of conquering the ‘darkness’ of our own inner confusion and fear
  • Sharing our inner light with our own personal circle of influence, and with the world
  • Taking our inner world journey to meet our own inner world guides who will offer us the light of their guidance at this time in our personal journey

Full details

Sunday 15th November, 6-7pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

About the session: This class is done monthly around the turn of the new moon and enable us to open to new beginnings, new possibilities and make a fresh start, specifically with regard to physical health and psychological wellbeing
Full details

 

Saturday 21st November 2.30-5.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

The RESULTS that you can expect to gain from engaging in this workshop are:

  • The ability to self-heal parts of your psyche that are in pain and in need care and attention
  • A greater feeling of overall wholeness and wellbeing
  • More physical, mental and spiritual energy in your daily life
  • Deeper self-understanding, reduced fear and greater emotional freedom
  • Greater harmony and success inyour relationships with other people (because you no longer project your shadow onto them)
  • Full details

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

 

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in November:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tues 10th, Weds 11th November, 7.30-8.30pm – Deepavali Meditation – Connecting to your inner light

Saturday 14th November, 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Liberation & creativity through the observer self (Finding freedom in your roles)

Sunday 15th November, 6-7pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

Saturday 21st November 2.30-5.30pm – Finding Freedom From What Holds You Back in Life: Practical meditations & techniques for working with your shadow-self

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
A Mind of Ease Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

Too much information! – Dealing mindfully with cognitive overload

“Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.” – Lao Tsu

Dear Integral Meditators,

In the article below I outline a few practical ways to deal with cognitive overload, which is an almost ever present challenge in the information age!

 

In the spirit of mindful intelligence,

Toby

 

 

Too much information! – Dealing mindfully with cognitive overload

“Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.” – Lao Tsu

In the Information Age we are all cognitively overloaded
‘Cognitive load’ is the term used to describe basically how much information and decisions our mind and brain can cope with before becoming ineffective. If we are trying to process too much information and thinking, then we become ‘cognitively overloaded’ leading to mental exhaustion, bad decisions and mental fog. Because we live in the Information Age, and are very addicted to our online devices, cognitive overload is a huge issue that most of us suffer from in one way or the other. Learning to deal with it effectively is a primary mindfulness skill.

Mental exhaustion is different from physical exhaustion
Cognitive overload is different from feeling physically exhausted. It’s important to make this distinction, because the way in which you recover from mental fatigue is different from physical fatigue. It’s a matter of resting your mind, rather than your body!

Cognitively overloaded people make bad choices
It’s important not to spend too much time in cognitive overload, because in such a state we tend to make bad choices, simply because we are not processing the information effectively. To make good choices you need to have your full intelligence available to you. When your mind is overloaded, your intelligence always goes down.

You need to take charge of the information streams in your life
Because of our mobile phones and the internet, infinite information is available to us all the time. It’s super easy to get overloaded, in part because of this. So, choosing your information carefully, and spending time deliberately not processing mental information is key.

Recovering from cognitive overload through non-thinking 
A simple mindful recovery practice is to set aside time in the day to do nothing. Give yourself permission to stop processing mental information, mentally planning and fixing things. At first this can feel very unnatural, but once you get used to it, it becomes a space that you can drop into easily without a problem.

Fishing without a hook 
Imagine you are by a beautiful lake or river, perhaps one that you know. You have a fishing rod, and you cast the line into the water. The line has no hook at the end (it might have a bit of food for the fish if you want!). You are fishing not to catch anything, but in order simply to drop into a space of relaxed non-thinking. You can stand or sit by the side of the water, looking at the line, enjoying the beauty of your surroundings and doing nothing, thinking about nothing. Let your body, mind and heart relax into this state of presence and let your brain recover from cognitive overload and regain its strength and vigour.

Related article: Not over-sharpening your blade
Making friends with overwhelm

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  

Saturday 17th October, 6-7pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

This class is done monthly around the turn of the new moon and enable us to open to new beginnings, new possibilities and make a fresh start, specifically with regard to physical health and psychological wellbeing. 
Full details

Saturday 24th October, 2.30-5.30pm – Mediation for surviving and thriving in the information age

Learn a series of meditation practices specifically designed to help you cope and thrive in an age of overwhelm, fast change, infinite choice, information overload and uncertainty.

This is a workshop that teaches you specific meditation practices to manage stress, focus and remain calm amidst your complex daily life.
Read full details

 

Starts Saturday November 7th – High-Performance Mindfulness Bootcamp – Combining sustainable high-performance with personal wellbeing

In a sentence: Learn how to create sustainable high performance in your work, and increase your personal wellbeing through mindfulness practice:

  • Thrive rather than survive under pressure
  • Develop and sustain higher energy levels
  • Improve your learning mindset as you face the challenges of work and life

Full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

Online Integral Meditation & Mindfulness classes

Build focus, beat stress, cultivate wellbeing!

Each session involves simple practices that you can apply to make a real difference to your wellbeing and effectiveness in life…full details of classes

 

At a glance: All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 17th October, 6-7pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

Saturday 24th October, 2.30-5.30pm – Mediation for surviving and thriving in the information age

Tuesday 27th & Weds 28th October, 7.30-8.30pm – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Starts Saturday November 7th – High-Performance Mindfulness Bootcamp – Combining sustainable high-performance with personal wellbeing

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Concentration Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

Making friends with overwhelm

“Work on skilfully accepting in an empowered way the often ever-present feeling of  being overwhelmed by too much to do”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on the ever present sense of their being too much to do in our lives, and what we can do about it in mindfulness terms.

This weeks Tuesday and Wednesday (live and online) meditation sessions will be focused on the practices in this article, all are welcome to join!

In the spirit of confidently overwhelmed,

Toby

 

Making friends with overwhelm

In the Information Age there is always too much to do

Oliver Burkeman in his article “Eight secrets to a (fairly) fulfilled life” says:
‘There will always be too much to do – and this realisation is liberating. Today more than ever, there’s just no reason to assume any fit between the demands on your time – all the things you would like to do, or feel you ought to do – and the amount of time available. Thanks to capitalism, technology and human ambition, these demands keep increasing, while your capacities remain largely fixed. It follows that the attempt to “get on top of everything” is doomed. (Indeed, it’s worse than that – the more tasks you get done, the more you’ll generate.)’
The essential point here is that for those of us living in the Information Age, the sense of there being overwhelmed by things to do is a fundamental characteristic of our experience.

Uncertainty and events like Covid don’t help
When you place on top of this unexpected events like Covid, and all the change and uncertainty around this, the skill of being able to deal with that feeling of being overwhelmed comes at an even higher premium!

Accepting that there is too much to do skilfully enables us to manage it, and then enjoy overwhelm
So then the first mindful position here is to work on skilfully accepting in an empowered way the feeling of being overwhelmed by too much to do. If you can really get comfortable with the feeling, so that it is no longer intimidating, upsetting or disturbing to you, then its going to make your life a lot more pleasant and less stressful. Acceptance involves:

  • Consciously seeking out the feeling of being overwhelmed, locating it in the body
  • Breathing and relaxing into the feeling of it. Get comfortable with the discomfort, or as I mention in another article, sit down to tea with your overwhelm!
  • Noticing that the feeling often gives rise to the impulse to start thinking faster, planning and doing, gently resisting that impulse

Taking responsibility today
If your habit is to feel comfortable with overwhelm, then much of the anxiety and stress around it disappears, or at least reduces enough for you to simply focus on what you can do today, and for that to be good enough. This then tends to give rise to quiet satisfaction  and confidence; knowing that you made good and effective use of your time, even in the face of the chaos of a never-ending to-do list!

Trusting in something bigger helps
Another object of mindfulness that I find combines very well with acceptance and responsibility is a trust in something bigger. This involves, in any way you personally conceive it, getting in touch with a sense there is some kind of higher or deeper intelligence that is guiding you in your life. Amidst all the overwhelm and the multiple factors that are too numerous for your everyday mind to process, there is is a fore that is for you and guiding you in a benevolent manner. Trust and let yourself be held by this guiding force, you don’t need to control everything!

A simple meditation on this process might involve firstly getting in touch with your feeling of overwhelm and working on accepting it. Then focus trusting an intelligence bigger than yourself, relaxing into that sense of being held. Briefly at the end you might think of the time period immediately ahead of you, and take responsibility for it, planning what you are going to do. Then as you go about your actions, be mindful of both your acceptance and trust, using them to navigate your overwhelm effectively.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

Online Integral Meditation & Mindfulness classes

Build focus, beat stress, cultivate wellbeing!

Each session involves simple practices that you can apply to make a real difference to your wellbeing and effectiveness in life…full details of classes

 

At a glance: All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Friday 2nd  September @ 7.30-8.30pm – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Sunday 10th October, 3.30-5pm – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now (Live & Online) – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Tuesday 27th & Weds 28th October, 7.30-8.30pm – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Meditation and Psychology Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

What you think is not what you are

“You can become what you think, but you aren’t what you think”

Dear Integral Meditators,

There is a big difference between thinking something and doing something. Mindfulness in this area helps us to navigate difficult, stressful times more successfully. The article below explores how to start practicing mindfulness around this.

In the spirit of clarity,

Toby

 

 

What you think is not what you are

The mental act of thinking about something is not the same as having done that thing. If we go through a period where we think about a lot of negative things and negative actions, the feeling inside can be as if we have actually done those things. This leads to a vicious cycle whereby:

  1. We have a negative thought, for example about doing or saying something nasty to a family member.
  2. Even though we didn’t actually do it, we feel as if we have done it (because we thought it) and so we feel guilty
  3. Because we feel guilty our self with and self esteem goes down
  4. Because we feel worthless, we become prone to all sorts of other negative thoughts, so we feel more guilty and worthless
  5. And the cycle continues

Sometimes we end up feeling so bad about ourselves because of all the things that we have thought, that we then actually do something nasty, stupid or cruel (etc..) so it becomes an actual self-fulfilling prophecy.

What you think is not what you are, or what you have done!
So the key object of mindfulness is recognize that just because you thought it doesn’t mean you did it. So we break the above cycle at stage 2. We recognize that we don’t need to feel guilty for something that we have not actually done.
This then means that our self-esteem does not take a nose dive, which in turn makes it easier for us to relax a bit and do the actual work we need to do to dismantle the cycle of negative thinking and feeling that is going on on our mind.
You can become what you think, but you aren’t what you think.

© Toby Ouvry 2020, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

Online Integral Meditation & Mindfulness classes

Build focus, beat stress, cultivate wellbeing!

Each session involves simple practices that you can apply to make a real difference to your wellbeing and effectiveness in life…full details of classes

 

At a glance: All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology