Category: Mindful Self-Leadership

Categories
Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Integral Meditation Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope

Ever increasing loops of energy

Dear Integral Meditators,

What if for the course of this next year  you were able to spend most of your day in a state of mind that was conducive to energy creation, thriving and affirmative action? The article below explores three such states, and I’ll be writing a second article next week with another four states.

In the spirit of energy,

Toby

 

 

Watch Toby’s short video on meditation for energy creation:

 

 

 

 

 

Ever increasing loops of energy

What are the states of mind that, when you focus of them give rise to greater access to energy, and make you pre-disposed to affirmative action-taking? There are times in all of our lives when we find ourselves by accident or by circumstance in states that feels energized and empowered. But what if we are able to consciously identify such states and cultivate them in such a way that we spent most of our time in in them, thus feeling energized and full of potential? Here are three such states that, the more you get if them, the better you will feel, and them more resilient to stress you will become. In each section I outline the basics of the state itself, and then also a harmonizing or ‘counterweight’ quality that holds it in balance.

Possibility – Possibility is a state of opening with enthusiasm to what could be. It contrasts with the habitual state of ‘shut-down’ and anxiety we feel when faced with future uncertainty. When we build a state of openness to possibility in meditation, we can make it part of our approach to daily life. Our world becomes a place of creative abundance and wealth. Our open-ness to possibility becomes a source of energy for us, feeding us as we move into the unknown. The balancing quality for possibility is limitation, where we deliberately make choices and create boundaries in our life in order to direct the energy of possibility into action and to create an appropriate amount of predictability and certainty for ourselves.

Connection – Recently I was going through a particularly difficult time both at work and at home. I made a point of reaching out to a few close friends and colleagues. I explained to them a bit about what I was going through, and asked them to just keep me in their thoughts and ‘hold space’ for me. Going through the subsequent days, I made a point of keeping them in mind, and feeling connected and supported by them. This had a tremendous stabilising influence on me. So, there are many, many ways to reach out and connect, and a ‘state of connection’ is energizing. The balancing quality for connection is individuality; a capacity to enjoy being alone as well as thinking independently. Without this connection can become a dis-empowering, compulsive state driven by loneliness.

Optimism – If you recall the last time you felt optimistic, it becomes fairly obvious why it’s a major energizer. There is a brightness and solar quality to optimism that makes us feel that the world we are living in is a place where good things can happen, and we don’t need to over-control things in order for them to work out well and appropriately. Once we start to cultivate optimism, we discover that, often as not it’s just as easy to cultivate as pessimism, and much more fun. The balancing quality for optimism is critical thinking, where we cultivate awareness of risks and test our reality objectively. This prevents optimism from becoming naivety which leaves us open to exploitation and other problems.Next week, I will outline another four ‘energizing states, so look out for the sequel to this article!

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com  

Are you interested in learning a form of meditation that will:

  • Help you to get in touch with a deeper level of psychological harmony and wellbeing within yourself?
  • Access new levels of energy and confidence?
  • Discover and heal hidden aspects of your psyche that are currently sabotaging your happiness in daily life and transforming them into something useful and powerful within you?

Read full details

Starts Tuesday/Wednesday evening February 23rd/24th – Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course
Overview: What are states of mind, body and heart that, when we cultivate them open us to more energy, more self-empowerment and more enthusiasm, even when we are living in difficult conditions, like during Covid? This unique and new course by Toby introduces seven different ways of meditating, each of which is designed to create a loop of increasing positive energy inside us. The more we do them, the more empowered we feel. These are way to help you feel increasingly dynamic and joyful, as opposed to oppressed and a victim of circumstance.
The ‘mindful skillset’ you will develop can be applied equally to your professional or personal life.Read full details

This meditation, done on or around the full moon capitalises on the heightened lunar energies at this time of the month to:

  • Bring energy and health to our physical body
  • Increase benevolent, life affirming emotions such as appreciation, joy and gratitude
  • Release patterns of energy, thinking and feeling that are no longer serving us
  • Focus on clarifying our intentions and manifesting our current life-goals

Read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 20th February – Meditations on the Language of Your Shadow –  Mini-retreat

Starts Tuesday/Wednesday evening February 23rd/24th – Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course

Saturday 27th February, 6-7pm – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
creative imagery Energy Meditation Enlightened Flow Integral Awareness Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Presence and being present

Opening to the abundance of possibility

“When we build a state of openness to possibility in meditation, we can make it part of our approach to daily life. Our world becomes a place of abundance and wealth. Our open-ness to possibility becomes a source of energy for us, feeding us as we move into the unknown.”

Dear Integral Meditators

Faced with the uncertainty of the future, how do you respond? The article below explores how you can go about energizing your relationship to the future by mindfully opening to possibilities!
Possibility is one of the meditation objects for a new course beginning on the 23/24th Feb Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course. It focuses on how you can use meditation to create increasing levels of energy in your life. Scroll down below for full details.

Wishing you all the very best for the upcoming lunar new year weekend, and the year of the Ox!

Toby

Opening to the abundance of possibility

The dance of possibility, anxiety and uncertainty
I didn’t know how things are going to turn out for me today exactly, or this week. Extend this to a month or a year, taking into account all the complexity of my life, sometimes it doesn’t feel I’m on control of much! The temptation can be to respond to this uncertainty with anxiety, and attempts to reduce the open-endedness of the situation. An alternative approach is to experience this uncertainty as a wealth of possibilities that I enter into everyday. These possibilities  are pregnant with potential, excitement and wonderment. Rather than trying to shut down and narrow, I can feel myself opening to the wealth of possible experiences.

Is your life a playful game or a mouse trap?
One important context for this is your sense of what life is. Is it like a mouse trap, luring you in and then snapping over your head, waiting to get you? Or is it a game that you can play with a lighter touch, with reasonable expectation that there will be at least as many good things that come your way as difficult ones? Not only this, but in this second type of game even the difficult and challenging things can be good things. They can be openings inviting the possibly of growth, re-invention and new and better things in the medium and long term.
The important thing here is that you can consciously choose to play the latter game, and that opens the door to a whole new world of possibility.

Possibility and self-esteem/self-acceptance
Another important factor in enjoying possibility is your self-concept. Do you view yourself as the sort of person to whom good things happen, and who can reasonably expect fulfillment and well-being in life? When presented with opportunities for fulfillment, are you able to accept them openly, believing you are deserving, or do you (often down unconsciously) reject this as something that is not appropriate for you, that you aren’t deserving or worthy of?
If you are going to enjoy the possibilities that life gives you, you have to be prepared to accept them, and take responsibility for making the most of them. Otherwise, no matter how many are presented to you, the danger is you continually let them pass you by.

The energy, excitement and anticipation of possibility
In meditation it is well worth finding and sitting with the feeling of opening to possibilities in the moment. This includes feeling calm and centred, but in combination with a sense of life’s abundance, of a degree of excitement and anticipation. It can also include opening to the fundamental sense of life being a mystery, and in that sense there being something deeper and larger than ourselves guiding us onto the next adventure.

Living in a world of abundant possibility
Once we have built this state of openness to possibility in meditation, we can then practice making it part and parcel of our approach to daily life. Our world becomes a place of abundance and wealth, and our open-ness to possibility becomes a source of energy for us, feeding us as we move into the unknown.

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Watch Toby’s short video on opening to possibility:

 

Saturday 6th & 20th February – Meditations on the Language of Your Shadow Mini-retreat

Are you interested in learning a form of meditation that will:

  • Help you to get in touch with a deeper level of psychological harmony and wellbeing within yourself?
  • Access new levels of energy and confidence?
  • Discover and heal hidden aspects of your psyche that are currently sabotaging your happiness in daily life and transforming them into something useful and powerful within you?

Read full details

Starts Tuesday/Wednesday evening February 23rd/24th – Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course

Overview: What are states of mind, body and heart that, when we cultivate them open us to more energy, more self-empowerment and more enthusiasm, even when we are living in difficult conditions, like during Covid? This unique and new course by Toby introduces seven different ways of meditating, each of which is designed to create a loop of increasing positive energy inside us. The more we do them, the more empowered we feel. These are way to help you feel increasingly dynamic and joyful, as opposed to oppressed and a victim of circumstance.
The ‘mindful skillset’ you will develop can be applied equally to your professional or personal life.

Read full details

 

Saturday 27th February, 6-7pm – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

This meditation, done on or around the full moon capitalises on the heightened lunar energies at this time of the month to:

  • Bring energy and health to our physical body
  • Increase benevolent, life affirming emotions such as appreciation, joy and gratitude
  • Release patterns of energy, thinking and feeling that are no longer serving us
  • Focus on clarifying our intentions and manifesting our current life-goals

Read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 20th February – Meditations on the Language of Your Shadow –  Mini-retreat

Starts Tuesday/Wednesday evening February 23rd/24th – Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course

Saturday 27th February, 6-7pm – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Enlightened service Inner vision Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope

Self-responsibility – Becoming a self-determining entity

Dear Integral Meditators,

What is the link between mindfulness and self-responsibility? This weeks article explores the interface of these two.

In the spirit of self-determination,

Toby

 

 

 

 

Self-responsibility – Becoming a self-determining entity

We are surrounded by forces that are attempting to move us in one direction or another, capture our attention, stimulate desire, take our energy. We can experience this directly these days by going on our phone: Social media competes with email and Whatsapp for our attention. Advertisers seek to get our attention to buy their products. Often we go on our phone with one intention, but end up doing another thing! Of course, it’s not just our phone where this happens. Cultural and social forces place pressure upon us to conform, as does peer pressure and the fear of missing out. Amidst all of this what we really want, what will really make us happy, what we really seek to achieve can get completely lost amidst the distraction.
One if the things I find most inspiring about mindfulness is that it enables me to take charge of direction and action in my life. It enables me to become what Nathaniel Branden called a ‘Self-determining entity’.  What this means is someone who controls their destiny and direction, someone who is organised enough to stay focused on the face of distractions. In short, someone who is taking responsibility for their life.

Awareness and acceptance
Before we talk about being responsible, in mindfulness terms we need to talk about becoming more aware and accepting. It’s difficult to take responsibility for our life if we lack rudimentary self and environmental awareness, and if we are continually fighting with our reality rather than accepting it. You can read a bit more about these in my previous articles on self-awareness and acceptance.

What am I responsible for?
One simple guiding question I ask myself a lot is “What is it that I am responsible for in this situation?” I try to discern the things that I need to grasp and direct. For example, I am primarily always responsible for the care of my emotions, thoughts, and physical body. Other people can help and assist, but it is my responsibility. In a team context I need to know what my role is, and what I am responsible for communicating. Questioning in this way helps me to grasp and own responsibility for what is mine.

What am I not responsible for?
A second and often equally important question I ask is “What am I not responsible for here?“, or “What is the responsibility of others here?” Quite often without realizing it we take on responsibility for the problems, emotions and tasks of others without realizing we have done so. For example, I need to be there to support my daughter and what she is going through, but if I try and solve all her problems for her, I am actually denying her opportunities for growth and self-knowledge.
Also, some people are actively (tho often unconsciously) looking to evade responsibility for their challenges, and to push them onto someone else. We can easily find ourselves wrestling with and having our energy taken away by things that are, quite simply not our responsibility.

What do I need to take responsibility for today?
Think about what you face today, or over the next 24 hours. Mindfully frame it within the context of self-responsibility. What is your responsibility to own/solve/carry, and what is not? Your journey to responsible self-empowerment begins today.

Article © Toby Ouvry 2021, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com   

Watch Toby’s short video on taking responsibility: 

 

Saturday 6th & 20th February – Meditations on the Language of Your Shadow – Masterclass and Mini-retreat

Are you interested in learning a form of meditation that will:

  • Help you to get in touch with a deeper level of psychological harmony and wellbeing within yourself?
  • Access new levels of energy and confidence?
  • Discover and heal hidden aspects of your psyche that are currently sabotaging your happiness in daily life and transforming them into something useful and powerful within you?

Read full details

Tuesday 9th & Wednesday 10th February – Lunar New Year Meditation 2020: Developing your stamina, willpower and self-confidence in the year of the Ox This is a meditation to welcome in the lunar new year energies, and attune to the astrological animal of the year, the Ox!
In particular, we will be mindfully aligning with and developing our inner-stamina, willpower and self-confidence, which are personal characteristics of the Ox.
Toby will be leading the meditation as a simple and profound way, with plenty of room for our own personal contemplation, inner healing and positivity building!
Read full details
Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

 

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday 2nd & Wednesday 3rd Feb, 7.30-8.30pm – Bright, Mother and Weaver Goddess meditation

Saturday 6th & 20th February – Meditations on the Language of Your Shadow – Masterclass and Mini-retreat

Tuesday 9th & Wednesday 10th February – Lunar New Year Meditation 2020: Developing your stamina, willpower and self-confidence in the year of the Ox

Starting February 23rd/24th – Meditations for thriving and energy creation amidst Covid – A seven week course (Full details soon)

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Concentration Inner vision Life-fullness meditation and creativity Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Motivation and scope

Intention, dedication, meditation (Start the new year on purpose)

“We can use our intention and dedication to start to radiate out ripples of good energy into the world. We may not know the precise effects they have, but we start to feel the energy we give returning to us many-fold in all sorts of different ways.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

Wishing you a 2021 full of wonder and wondering!
This weeks article looks at the power of intention and dedication, and how to integrate them into your meditation practice and life.

In the spirit of intention & dedication,

Toby

Intention, dedication, meditation 

Why are you meditating?
Instead of just taking up meditation to as a way of dealing with stress, why not really articulate why you are doing it as a way of setting the energy when you start? For example, you might think:

“I am doing this meditation practice to bring strength, balance and calm to myself,
to bring benefit and wellbeing to my circle of influence (friends, family colleagues etc)
and to contribute to the wellbeing and balance of all beings on earth, and the Earth herself.”

If you spend a short while setting your intention in this way at the beginning of a session, you will find that the action of meditating feels quite different. It has a focused purpose and, although it is a simple act, you are sending the energy from it out into the world to bring conscious benefit and wellbeing. Setting your intention makes your meditation more powerful.

Directing through dedicating
Similarly, at the end of the meditation you can spend a few moments dedicating the energy of your meditation thinking or saying something like:

“May my meditation be a cause for my own inner strength and wellbeing,
May it enable me to bring benefit and love to my circle of influence,
And may it be a cause for the wellbeing and balance of all beings on Earth”

You can compose your own little intention and dedication verses if you like, using words that resonate for you. I always include these three levels; myself, my circle of influence and the global community as a whole. If you want to dedicate for particular groups of people, or towards the resolution of particular problems or challenges, of course you can do that too.

The tradition of intention and dedication
When I first began meditating seriously in the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition, intention and dedication was one of the first things that we were taught. Intention and dedication can be powerful meditations in themselves. Simply focusing for a few minutes on the intention to love and bring benefit to others or yourself can really change your experience of what you are going through. It gives you purpose and direction where previously there was none. In mindfulness terms the question we should be asking ourselves often and developing conscious intention around is:

“Why and for what am I doing this?”

Applying intention and dedication to other activities
Once you get into the habit of setting intention and dedicating in meditation you can start applying with it in other activities. You can eat with the intention of using the energy to benefit your family, work with the intention to benefit the wellbeing of customers and colleagues. You can dedicate your small positive actions in the day to the wellbeing of the planet. Using intention and dedication in this way we can start to radiate out ripples of good energy into the world. We may not know the precise effects they have, but we start to feel the energy we give returning to us many-fold in all sorts of different ways.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com

Starts Tuesday 5/6th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – A four-week course

This is both a Live & Livestream, four-week course

Overview: Integral Meditation Practice (IMP) is a different kind of mind-body training, that aims to provide optimal inner peace, centeredness, energy and insight for the contemporary meditation practitioner. It combines eastern and western forms of practice, as well as ancient and modern ones into a series of integrative practices. The practices enable the meditator to remain resilient, energized and creative in the face of the multi-faceted challenges of modern life. These four classes give an introduction to IMP, in a simple, accessible manner.

The course modules:

Tuesdays 5th, Weds 6th Jan, Module 1 – An introduction to mindful flow: How to build good quality focus in meditation and in daily life by accessing flow states. In this session we will also cover what meditation and mindfulness are and the value of practicing them in daily life.

Tues 12th, Weds 13th Jan, Module 2 – Integral Meditation Practice 1: Simplicity, awareness, positivity, creativity (Note: Wednesday class for Module 2 is online only)

Tues 19th, Weds 20th Jan, Module 3 – Integral Meditation Practice 2: Building a mind of ease, relaxation and wellbeing

Tues 26th, Weds 27th Jan, Module 4 – How to create your own integral meditations! (Note: Wednesday class for Module 4 is online only)
Read full details

Saturday 9th & 23rd January – Shamanic meditation Masterclass and Mini-retreat

In a sentence: Learn how to practice the fundamentals of the most ancient meditation tradition on the planet in a clear, practical and concise manner, and understand its relevance and value to you and the challenges that you face in your life.

  • The Masterclass on the 9th January will give an overview and introduce some simple but profound shamanic practices
  • The Mini-retreat on the 23rd will be a deeper dive into Shamanic meditation practices

Read full details

Re-starts Monday January 11th! – 7-8.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

How can you move from coping to thriving in your life as a man?

Much is asked of men in their traditional roles as fathers and sons, partners and husbands, students and teachers, employees and employers. The men’s group is a professionally moderated and confidential forum for men. A forum is a safe place for exploring, learning and sharing the successful perspectives, skills, and strategies needed to address and manage the unique issues, problems, and triumphs in our community.
Read full details…

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?
Read full details…

 

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Starts Tuesday 5/6th January – Introduction to Integral Meditation & Mindfulness Practice – A four-week course

Saturday 9th & 23rd January – Shamanic meditation Masterclass and Mini-retreat

Re-starts Monday January 11th, 7-8.30pm – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Biographical Energy Meditation Enlightened service Integral Awareness Life-fullness mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Presence and being present

Giving back anxiety that is not yours

“Owning and dealing with your anxiety well is an important life skill, However, sometimes the anxiety we experience is not entirely our own, and the solution to it is to recognize this and sometimes simply to give it back.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

What’s the boundary between what you feel, and the feelings of those around you, and in your environment? This weeks article looks at this boundary, and how to become clearer and more aware about it.

If you enjoy the article, then you may consider this Saturday’s Mindfulness Masterclass  3-5pm Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty. If your interested in how to really put your anxiety to good positive use, then this is a great session to attend, you can come live or online!

In the spirit of mindful inoculation,

Toby

Giving back anxiety that is not yours

Owning and dealing with your anxiety well is an important life skill. There are often uncertainties and other causes that stimulate anxiety in our life, so knowing how to navigate this is fundamental. However, sometimes the anxiety we experience is not entirely our own, and the solution to it is to recognize this and sometimes simply to ‘give it back’.

A story
When I first started teaching meditation classes, first as a young layperson, then as a monk I would teach classes in the evening and then return back home. Often, I noticed that when I lay down to sleep that night, my body would feel uncomfortable, I would toss and turn, and I’d be having all sorts of difficult and strange trains of thought. I would have difficulty falling asleep, and often I would wake up in the middle of the night and continue to have difficult and anxious trains of thought, along with uncomfortable body sensations. At first I interpreted these as being all my own, and struggled manfully to resolve the trains of thought and emotions that were coming up. After a while however I started to recognize that actually, because I had been holding space for others in the class, I had absorbed emotional energy from the group, and what I was experiencing was actually empathic emotion and anxiety, that was not actually mine. After realizing this, I changed my strategy, recognizing and letting go of the anxiety that was not mine, and focusing on clearing out the dissonant energy from my body. Now when I do a class or coaching, noticing and releasing anxiety and energy that is not mine is mostly instinctive, but it is nevertheless vital for me to make the recognition when it occurs and is happening to me.

A few examples of when you might need to give back the anxiety

  • If your partner, close friend or family member is anxious or moody about something, and you ‘catch’ a bit of it
  • Certain atmospheres, anxieties and emotion in the office, or in your work team
  • Certain places or neighbourhoods that carry a particular dissonant energy
  • When there is large scale anxiety, such as in the recent Covid crisis, the group  anxiety amplifies and feeds off our own, and they strengthen each other
  • When someone has a type of anxiety that strongly resembles your own, and your identification with it means you absorb some empathically

In all of these cases, the anxiety is not ‘yours’ per-se, but it can infect you if you let it. The main thing to do here is to recognize that and either ‘hand it back’ so to speak, or observe it and release it from your own energy system.

You can apply this to other emotions and states
Of course, this doesn’t just apply to anxiety, it applies to many other emotional states, anger, fear, sadness. It also applies to positive emotions and states. We all have experience of being positively affected by an atmosphere, or a person or a place. When this happens, we can enjoy participating in it, rather than handing it back!

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com

 

Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty (Live & Online)

Anxiety is a natural response to uncertainty and change, but for many of us the experience of anxiety is disturbing, upsetting, draining and stressful. This session focuses on practical ways to change your relationship to anxiety by:

  • Accepting and working with your causes of anxiety
  • Building greater awareness and appreciation of the things that give you stability and security in life
  • Learning to think effectively and wisely around uncertainties and problems that are causing you anxiety

Read full details

Tues & Weds 15th, 16th  December, 7.30-8.30pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

This session consists of :

  • An opening section attuning to the new moon energy, and return to our ‘beginners mind’ a state of ‘new beginnings’
  • A visualization section where we connect to positive imagery related to our own health, and the health of others in our life
  • An envisioning section where we seek spontaneous images and inspiration related to healing
  • A consolidation section where we focus on building the power and energy of our images, allowing them to energize and affect our health and healing the greatest degree possible

Read full details

Saturday December 19th, 2.30-5pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat

These 2.5 hour meditation ‘mini-retreats’ are a chance to go into much deeper meditation states than you would be able to in your own personal daily practice, or even if you came to a one hour class. Using sitting meditation methods in combination with breathing techniques, Toby will guide you into deep meditation flow states that…read full details

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

About the class: The Winter Solstice is deepest point of Winter in the northern hemisphere, the point of maximum outer darkness & the shortest day.

In Celtic the name of the winter solstice in ‘Alban Arthan’ of ‘The Light of Arthur’. In this case Arthur refers to the Sun God who, at this time of maximum darkness in the year dies and is reborn in the world of nature and within ourselves…read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty

Tues & Weds 15th, 16th  December, 7.30-8.30pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

Saturday December 19th, 2.30-5pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Tues 29th & Weds 30th Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Awareness and insight Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditating on the Self Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Self-Leadership Primal Spirituality

Working mindfully with your subconscious mind

“As the conscious mind you are trying to connect to your subconscious mind with a sense of care and warmth, inviting co-operation and teamwork”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article looks at how you can start using mindfulness to work with your subconscious mind, enjoy!
Beneath the article is the full line up for classes and workshops for December, there is a lot of variety to choose from!
This  weeks Tuesday and Wednesday meditation 1st & 2nd December are the Monthly full moon manifestation meditations, you are all welcome, live or online.

In the spirit of the subconscious,

Toby

Working mindfully with your subconscious mind

Mindfulness – Strengthening the executive function of the conscious mind
Mindfulness is essentially attention and awareness training. As such it involves primarily strengthening the executive power of your conscious mind to direct your attention to create desired experiences and make better choices. Implicitly, part of mindfulness involves becoming aware of and working with our subconscious mind and its functions. This is where mindfulness backs onto the arena of disciplines like hypnosis, which specializes in working with the subconscious. My shadow meditation method and coaching is also an example of working directly with elements of the subconscious mind. Since our subconscious plays such a powerful part in creating our life experience, its well worth developing our proficiency in working with it.

Horse and rider – Creating a benevolent, co-operative relationship between your conscious and subconscious minds
Your subconscious mind is a repository of your instincts, biology, habits, and past experiences. As such its energy is a lot ‘stronger’ than the conscious mind. If you try and dominate your subconscious by sheer force of will, you are only going to get so far. One simple image is that of a horse and rider. The conscious mind is the rider, the SCM is like the horse. The horse is much stronger than the rider, but if the rider can tame the horse and establish a co-operative relationship, then the power of the horse becomes at the service of the rider.

An attitude of care and warmth – Establishing trust
So if you are going to work with your SCM, it needs to trust you, and your intention toward it (like a horse with someone who wishes to ride it). As the conscious mind then, you are trying to connect to your SCM with a sense of care and warmth, inviting co-operation and teamwork.

Intention, instruction, direction
With this attitude of benevolence and trust established, you can then practice feeding your SCM intentions, auto-suggestions images and directives according to what you want it to do for and with you. There are a larger number of ways to do this, for example:

  • You can create an inner place or landscape where you can sit and invite your SCM to release repressed or unacknowledged emotions for healing
  • You can suggest to it ways of seeing the world that are in alignment with your life goals
  • You can program it to react to certain scenarios in a particular way when it comes up in real time

One point to realize is that you are making suggestions signalling to your subconscious mind all the time anyway. Most of the time this is habitual and unconscious. If we can start doing it consciously and deliberately, then it can change our experience for the better.

A simple example
Right now from around 11.30pm-5am every night, I am in charge of feeding and caring for our baby. That is a clear instruction to my subconscious mind. As a result I am very sensitive to our babies sound and movement. As soon as anything starts to happen, I wake up, get up and attend to her. After 5am its my wife’s turn, and again that is a clear message to my subconscious mind. As a result the baby is crying and making a ruckus, if it is after 5am, generally I sleep right through it, even if she is right on the bed next to me. My SCM has knows it doesn’t need to alert me when the baby cries, so I sleep!
That’s a small example of the power your SCM has to create and define your experience.

What ways can you start mindfully working with your subconscious mind today?

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com

Tuesday & Wednesday 1st & 2nd Dec @ 7.30-8.30pm – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

We all live our life within an environment that consists fundamentally/experientially of the Earth, Moon, Sun and Stars. The monthly lunar cycle describes our relationship to the Moon, and the powerful influence that it has on our life. In the physical world we see this influence most obviously in the tides of the sea. In our inner life we experience it as the coming and going of energy, moods and emotions within our psyche. This meditation, done on or around the full moon capitalises on the heightened lunar energies at this time of the month. Read full details

Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty

Anxiety is a natural response to uncertainty and change, but for many of us the experience of anxiety is disturbing, upsetting, draining and stressful. This session focuses on practical ways to change your relationship to anxiety by:

  • Accepting and working with your causes of anxiety
  • Building greater awareness and appreciation of the things that give you stability and security in life
  • Learning to think effectively and wisely around uncertainties and problems that are causing you anxiety

Read full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

 

All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA in December:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Tuesday & Wednesday 1st & 2nd Dec @ 7.30-8.30pm – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Saturday 12thth December 3-5pm – Mindfulness masterclass: Mindfulness for thriving with anxiety & uncertainty

Tues & Weds 15th, 16th  December, 7.30-8.30pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

Saturday December 19th, 2.30-5pm – Integral meditation deep dive mini-retreat

Tues 22nd & Weds 23rd Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – Winter solstice balancing & renewing meditation

Tues 29th & Weds 30th Dec, 7.30-8.30pm – 2021 New year releasing and inviting meditation

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Categories
A Mind of Ease Integral Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

Too much information! – Dealing mindfully with cognitive overload

“Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.” – Lao Tsu

Dear Integral Meditators,

In the article below I outline a few practical ways to deal with cognitive overload, which is an almost ever present challenge in the information age!

 

In the spirit of mindful intelligence,

Toby

 

 

Too much information! – Dealing mindfully with cognitive overload

“Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.” – Lao Tsu

In the Information Age we are all cognitively overloaded
‘Cognitive load’ is the term used to describe basically how much information and decisions our mind and brain can cope with before becoming ineffective. If we are trying to process too much information and thinking, then we become ‘cognitively overloaded’ leading to mental exhaustion, bad decisions and mental fog. Because we live in the Information Age, and are very addicted to our online devices, cognitive overload is a huge issue that most of us suffer from in one way or the other. Learning to deal with it effectively is a primary mindfulness skill.

Mental exhaustion is different from physical exhaustion
Cognitive overload is different from feeling physically exhausted. It’s important to make this distinction, because the way in which you recover from mental fatigue is different from physical fatigue. It’s a matter of resting your mind, rather than your body!

Cognitively overloaded people make bad choices
It’s important not to spend too much time in cognitive overload, because in such a state we tend to make bad choices, simply because we are not processing the information effectively. To make good choices you need to have your full intelligence available to you. When your mind is overloaded, your intelligence always goes down.

You need to take charge of the information streams in your life
Because of our mobile phones and the internet, infinite information is available to us all the time. It’s super easy to get overloaded, in part because of this. So, choosing your information carefully, and spending time deliberately not processing mental information is key.

Recovering from cognitive overload through non-thinking 
A simple mindful recovery practice is to set aside time in the day to do nothing. Give yourself permission to stop processing mental information, mentally planning and fixing things. At first this can feel very unnatural, but once you get used to it, it becomes a space that you can drop into easily without a problem.

Fishing without a hook 
Imagine you are by a beautiful lake or river, perhaps one that you know. You have a fishing rod, and you cast the line into the water. The line has no hook at the end (it might have a bit of food for the fish if you want!). You are fishing not to catch anything, but in order simply to drop into a space of relaxed non-thinking. You can stand or sit by the side of the water, looking at the line, enjoying the beauty of your surroundings and doing nothing, thinking about nothing. Let your body, mind and heart relax into this state of presence and let your brain recover from cognitive overload and regain its strength and vigour.

Related article: Not over-sharpening your blade
Making friends with overwhelm

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  

Saturday 17th October, 6-7pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

This class is done monthly around the turn of the new moon and enable us to open to new beginnings, new possibilities and make a fresh start, specifically with regard to physical health and psychological wellbeing. 
Full details

Saturday 24th October, 2.30-5.30pm – Mediation for surviving and thriving in the information age

Learn a series of meditation practices specifically designed to help you cope and thrive in an age of overwhelm, fast change, infinite choice, information overload and uncertainty.

This is a workshop that teaches you specific meditation practices to manage stress, focus and remain calm amidst your complex daily life.
Read full details

 

Starts Saturday November 7th – High-Performance Mindfulness Bootcamp – Combining sustainable high-performance with personal wellbeing

In a sentence: Learn how to create sustainable high performance in your work, and increase your personal wellbeing through mindfulness practice:

  • Thrive rather than survive under pressure
  • Develop and sustain higher energy levels
  • Improve your learning mindset as you face the challenges of work and life

Full details

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

Online Integral Meditation & Mindfulness classes

Build focus, beat stress, cultivate wellbeing!

Each session involves simple practices that you can apply to make a real difference to your wellbeing and effectiveness in life…full details of classes

 

At a glance: All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 17th October, 6-7pm – New moon health visualization and envisioning sessions

Saturday 24th October, 2.30-5.30pm – Mediation for surviving and thriving in the information age

Tuesday 27th & Weds 28th October, 7.30-8.30pm – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Starts Saturday November 7th – High-Performance Mindfulness Bootcamp – Combining sustainable high-performance with personal wellbeing

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Concentration Integral Awareness Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques Mindful Confidence Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

Making friends with overwhelm

“Work on skilfully accepting in an empowered way the often ever-present feeling of  being overwhelmed by too much to do”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article focuses on the ever present sense of their being too much to do in our lives, and what we can do about it in mindfulness terms.

This weeks Tuesday and Wednesday (live and online) meditation sessions will be focused on the practices in this article, all are welcome to join!

In the spirit of confidently overwhelmed,

Toby

 

Making friends with overwhelm

In the Information Age there is always too much to do

Oliver Burkeman in his article “Eight secrets to a (fairly) fulfilled life” says:
‘There will always be too much to do – and this realisation is liberating. Today more than ever, there’s just no reason to assume any fit between the demands on your time – all the things you would like to do, or feel you ought to do – and the amount of time available. Thanks to capitalism, technology and human ambition, these demands keep increasing, while your capacities remain largely fixed. It follows that the attempt to “get on top of everything” is doomed. (Indeed, it’s worse than that – the more tasks you get done, the more you’ll generate.)’
The essential point here is that for those of us living in the Information Age, the sense of there being overwhelmed by things to do is a fundamental characteristic of our experience.

Uncertainty and events like Covid don’t help
When you place on top of this unexpected events like Covid, and all the change and uncertainty around this, the skill of being able to deal with that feeling of being overwhelmed comes at an even higher premium!

Accepting that there is too much to do skilfully enables us to manage it, and then enjoy overwhelm
So then the first mindful position here is to work on skilfully accepting in an empowered way the feeling of being overwhelmed by too much to do. If you can really get comfortable with the feeling, so that it is no longer intimidating, upsetting or disturbing to you, then its going to make your life a lot more pleasant and less stressful. Acceptance involves:

  • Consciously seeking out the feeling of being overwhelmed, locating it in the body
  • Breathing and relaxing into the feeling of it. Get comfortable with the discomfort, or as I mention in another article, sit down to tea with your overwhelm!
  • Noticing that the feeling often gives rise to the impulse to start thinking faster, planning and doing, gently resisting that impulse

Taking responsibility today
If your habit is to feel comfortable with overwhelm, then much of the anxiety and stress around it disappears, or at least reduces enough for you to simply focus on what you can do today, and for that to be good enough. This then tends to give rise to quiet satisfaction  and confidence; knowing that you made good and effective use of your time, even in the face of the chaos of a never-ending to-do list!

Trusting in something bigger helps
Another object of mindfulness that I find combines very well with acceptance and responsibility is a trust in something bigger. This involves, in any way you personally conceive it, getting in touch with a sense there is some kind of higher or deeper intelligence that is guiding you in your life. Amidst all the overwhelm and the multiple factors that are too numerous for your everyday mind to process, there is is a fore that is for you and guiding you in a benevolent manner. Trust and let yourself be held by this guiding force, you don’t need to control everything!

A simple meditation on this process might involve firstly getting in touch with your feeling of overwhelm and working on accepting it. Then focus trusting an intelligence bigger than yourself, relaxing into that sense of being held. Briefly at the end you might think of the time period immediately ahead of you, and take responsibility for it, planning what you are going to do. Then as you go about your actions, be mindful of both your acceptance and trust, using them to navigate your overwhelm effectively.

Article content © Toby Ouvry & Integral Meditation Asia 2020. you are welcome to share, but please cite the source, thanks! Contact info@tobyouvry.com  

 

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

Online Integral Meditation & Mindfulness classes

Build focus, beat stress, cultivate wellbeing!

Each session involves simple practices that you can apply to make a real difference to your wellbeing and effectiveness in life…full details of classes

 

At a glance: All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Friday 2nd  September @ 7.30-8.30pm – Live & Online Monthly Full Moon Meditation & Manifestation Session

Sunday 10th October, 3.30-5pm – Get Your Meditation Practice Started Now (Live & Online) – The Shortest and Most Time Effective Meditation Workshop Ever

Tuesday 27th & Weds 28th October, 7.30-8.30pm – Samhain Meditation (Live & Online) – Acknowledging the gifts and wounds of our ancestors

Ongoing – The Men’s Group – The path of conscious manhood

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Meditation and Psychology Mindful Self-Leadership Mindfulness Presence and being present

What you think is not what you are

“You can become what you think, but you aren’t what you think”

Dear Integral Meditators,

There is a big difference between thinking something and doing something. Mindfulness in this area helps us to navigate difficult, stressful times more successfully. The article below explores how to start practicing mindfulness around this.

In the spirit of clarity,

Toby

 

 

What you think is not what you are

The mental act of thinking about something is not the same as having done that thing. If we go through a period where we think about a lot of negative things and negative actions, the feeling inside can be as if we have actually done those things. This leads to a vicious cycle whereby:

  1. We have a negative thought, for example about doing or saying something nasty to a family member.
  2. Even though we didn’t actually do it, we feel as if we have done it (because we thought it) and so we feel guilty
  3. Because we feel guilty our self with and self esteem goes down
  4. Because we feel worthless, we become prone to all sorts of other negative thoughts, so we feel more guilty and worthless
  5. And the cycle continues

Sometimes we end up feeling so bad about ourselves because of all the things that we have thought, that we then actually do something nasty, stupid or cruel (etc..) so it becomes an actual self-fulfilling prophecy.

What you think is not what you are, or what you have done!
So the key object of mindfulness is recognize that just because you thought it doesn’t mean you did it. So we break the above cycle at stage 2. We recognize that we don’t need to feel guilty for something that we have not actually done.
This then means that our self-esteem does not take a nose dive, which in turn makes it easier for us to relax a bit and do the actual work we need to do to dismantle the cycle of negative thinking and feeling that is going on on our mind.
You can become what you think, but you aren’t what you think.

© Toby Ouvry 2020, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

Online Integral Meditation & Mindfulness classes

Build focus, beat stress, cultivate wellbeing!

Each session involves simple practices that you can apply to make a real difference to your wellbeing and effectiveness in life…full details of classes

 

At a glance: All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology

Categories
Energy Meditation Inner vision Insight Meditation Life-fullness Meditation and Psychology Meditation techniques mind body connection Mindful Resilience Mindful Self-Leadership Motivation and scope Positive anger

Working mindfully with anger – Four positions

“Anger is essentially like fire. Fire gives light and heat. If you can use it wisely its very useful. If you can’t control it however, anger, like fire can be incredibly destructive.”

Dear Integral Meditators,

This weeks article explores anger, its causes and how to re-work your reactive anger through self-awareness. I hope you enjoy it!

If you enjoy the article then this Saturday 19th June I will be facilitating my Mindfulness masterclass: The Power of Presence – Dealing mindfully with anger and conflict in your relationships you are welcome to join in…

In the spirit of self-awareness,

Toby

Working mindfully with anger –  Four positions

Anger is essentially like fire. Fire gives light and heat. If you can use it wisely its very useful. If you can’t control it however, anger, like fire can be incredibly destructive. What I want to do in this article is outline four ways in which our anger can be stimulated in negative ways, so that we can start to spot them. Then at the end I outline a method for managing our anger more effectively, and re-directing it in a positive way.

Looking at the causes of anger

  1. The three F’s – These causes of anger are naturally occurring and we all have to deal with them one way or another; friction, fatigue, fear, or the ‘three F’s as I am calling them! Our life periodically has a lot of friction; its inconvenient, we get tired, we get scared. All of these can cause anger as a defensive reaction. The key hear is to notice that you are under pressure from one of the three F’s, and then not let it turn into an angry reaction. In other works, don’t let difficult feelings (the three F’s) turn into a negative emotion (anger)
  1. Other emotional causes of anger – There are a whole range of emotions that, if not acknowledged and worked with can come out as anger. For example, sadness, disappointment, resentment. Our discomfort with this range of emotions can cause negative anger to  come out as a ‘presenting’ or ‘surface’ emotion. as with the first position, the key here is to recognize you are under pressure emotionally, and gently ensure that negative anger does not develop our of the other emotional turbulence.
  2. Anger and resentment from our story – Sometimes we can be carrying latent anger and resentment into present situations from things that have happened in the past. Ways in which we were treated, things people did to us, dreams that were broken. All of these can cause anger to bubble up in the present moment. The key here is to recognize how this is happening, and differentiate your present moment experience from your past story and its power.
  3. Uncertainty and control – Often negative anger manifests when there is uncertainty, and or we feel as if we have lost/are losing control. This gives rise to fear (see position 1), which in turn gives rise to anger or aggression in an attempt to compensate. Learning to hold a space of uncertainty without getting panicked into anger is a skill we need to learn.

Transforming your anger: Extending the strength of gentleness toward yourself 
So, if you notice any of the above four causes of anger:

  • Firstly, recognize that it is happening.
  • Secondly, try extending understanding and gentleness to the part of you that is under stress from one of these four conditions
  • Thirdly, see if you can move into action out of a sense of self-responsibility and polite assertion, rather than out of negative anger

Initially these three stages can feel more difficult to do than just getting angry. However, once we have done them a few times we start to see how awareness, gentleness, strength and conscious action give rise to much better results than just getting negatively angry!

© Toby Ouvry 2020, you are welcome to use or share this article, but please cite Toby as the source and include reference to his website www.tobyouvry.com

Saturday 19th June, 3.30-5.30pm – Mindfulness masterclass: The Power of Presence – Dealing mindfully with anger and conflict in your relationships

In this workshop you will learn:

  • What anger and frustration are, how to identify and work with them when they arise
  • Understanding the causes of negative anger and how to reduce them
  • How to make intelligent choices around the anger that you experience, particularly in your relationships
  • How to be calmer, so that you can not only manage your anger better, but also harness its power in a positive, non-destructive manner
  • Learn how to use anger for wisdom, insight and empowered action

Tuesday 22nd & Wednesday 23rd  September @ 7.30-8.30pm – Autumn equinox balancing & renewing meditation (Live & online)

The Autumn Equinox in the northern hemisphere marks the mid-point between the warmer, lighter seasons of the year and the cooler, darker ones. The forces of day and night, light and dark are of equal strength. As such it is a great time to emphasize balance and harmony, both in our life and meditation practice.

Read full details

Starts September 30th & October 3rd – High-Performance Mindfulness Bootcamp – Combining sustainable high-performance with personal wellbeing

EARLY BIRD OFFER: SIGN UP BEFORE SEPTEMBER 9th  AND GET 15% OFF!

The course can be participated in live or online.

In a sentence: Learn how to create sustainable high performance in your work, and increase your personal wellbeing through mindfulness practice. Learn to:

  • Thrive rather than survive under pressure
  • Develop and sustain higher energy levels
  • Improve your learning mindset as you face the challenges of work and life

Is this course for me?

Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?

  • You head into work feeling stressed and sleep-deprived before your day has even begun.
  • Your need to make sharp, insightful decisions but you have trouble focusing.
  • You experience low energy and volatile emotions throughout the day.
  • You often sacrifice personal time for more time at work, and yet you never feel like you have enough time to complete your never-ending to-do list.
  • You don’t feel like the way you work is sustainable.

If you’re tired of feeling like you’re constantly forced to choose between work and your well-being, it’s time to restore balance to your life. Learn that the relationship between the two is not a zero-sum game; there exists an alternative that will boost your productivity without you relinquishing peace of mind or personal time….
Click here for full details!

Life-fullness – The Integral Life-Coaching Program with Toby

Are you looking a coach who can help you to:

  • Meet the challenges, stress and changes that you face in a more effective and mindful way
  • Become happier within yourself, in your relationships and at work
  • Be actively accountable for finding a sense of balance/well-being in your life and fulfilling your personal potential?
  • Guide you to find and operate from a deeper sense of meaning, motivation and connectivity in your life?

Read full details…

Online Integral Meditation & Mindfulness classes

Build focus, beat stress, cultivate wellbeing!

Each session involves simple practices that you can apply to make a real difference to your wellbeing and effectiveness in life…full details of classes

 

At a glance: All upcoming classes and workshops for at IMA:

Ongoing – Weekly Tuesday, Wednesday Online class schedule

Ongoing on Wednesday’s, 7.30-8.30pm – Wednesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby (Bukit Timah)

Ongoing on Tuesday evenings, 7.30-8.30pm – Tuesday Meditation for stress transformation and positive energy with Toby  (East Coast)

Saturday 19th June, 3.30-5.30pm – Mindfulness masterclass: The Power of Presence – Dealing mindfully with anger and conflict in your relationships

Tuesday 22nd & Wednesday 23rd  September @ 7.30-8.30pm – Autumn equinox balancing & renewing meditation (Live & online)

Starts Sept 30th & October 3rd – High-Performance Mindfulness Bootcamp – Combining sustainable high-performance with personal wellbeing

Integral Meditation Asia

Online Courses * 1:1 Coaching * Books * Live Workshops * Corporate Mindfulness Training *Life-Coaching *  Meditation Technology